angel_bob
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2006 30 October :: 9.46pm
I am beginning to get anxious about leaving this country. I met with some of my fellow France travelers and we were all talking about where we're going to go and what we're going to do. It made me so excited that all I want to do is go now.
Updated countdown (to the minute!):
Click Here to get this from pYzam.com!
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m&ms487
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2006 30 October :: 3.24pm
:: Mood: contemplative
"We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless"
-T.S. Eliot
Every day I learn more, and realize more. I become aware. But that doesn't make it any less difficult.
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m&ms487
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2006 29 October :: 10.22pm
It's worth noting...
The scariest thing on television tonight isn't the showing of Spooky Hollow, or The Exorcist. It's not the scary marathon about ghosts on the family channel.
It's the two Republicans arguing over immigration on Fox News.
I watched in horror as I ate my pinapple cup with chop sticks and mulled over my recent addiction to sushi.
Michelle
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sugarjackj
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2006 29 October :: 6.15pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians
If you were in band or chior in high school you don't count. You gave up on something so big.
I might not be the smartest person ever.
But I'm smarter then you think.
And I have something so much more then the ability to understand math.
I have the ability to understand music.
and many of you, no matter how hard you try, will fully understand what I am being trained to do.
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m&ms487
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2006 29 October :: 4.00pm
Some drugs are not bad for you. Yes, some physically harm you, but legal drugs do the same, tobacco and caffeine, for example.
People who don't like people doing drugs are bad for you.
Don't knock it until you've tried it.
And lastly, hippies don't suck, and just because you do drugs doesn't mean you're a hippy. And, if it was indeed true that only hippies do drugs, this world would be a better place, because everyone wouldn't be unintelligent assholes that don't know what the fuck they're talking about, and stupid enough to know that hardly anyone really likes them.
Michelle
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sugarjackj
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2006 29 October :: 2.15pm
Poor poor pitiful Preston.
:)
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skife
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2006 29 October :: 9.35am
:: Music: metallica
okay, the metallica probe can finally play metallica... really really loud.
i have a redneck "system" in there, it was compleatly free and came from my basement, pics tonight if your lucky(dont count on it)
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rayray
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2006 30 October :: 6.59am
:: Music: Over my head - The Fray
Last night Mike and I went a date.
He took me out to dinner and then we went to wal-mart to get a bunch of stuff that I needed, and he paid! haha
And then we went bowling.
Where I beat him 1 game.
So now I can make fun of him and say he was beat by a girl.
Poor loser!
It was a lot of fun.
We bowled like 4 games.
We're thinking of making it a weekend ritual.
So maybe we can get more people to go with us each weekend.
It was so much fun last night.
And now he's at work.
I hate it when he works the weekend because then im stuck alone.
But this time I have the car, because I need to do laundry and i'm not sure if Im going to do it here or take it to one of my parents houses.
Anyway, all I know is that my apartment is so freakin' hot!!
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1010101
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2006 29 October :: 3.40am
Alright, so this weekend has been unbelieveably awesome. Moreso than I would dare try to explain tonight. I will, however leave you with a few teasers before I make a more detailed post on the matter sometime later.
-A girl hits on me in a hilarious way
-2 awesome parties
-chains
- partial nudity
-Qdoba nacho bar
-blood
-burlesque show
-dog the bounty hunter
-piercings
-jello shots
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rayray
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2006 29 October :: 6.01pm
It's amazing how all through high school I was afraid of commitment and all the stuff that comes with it.
And then when I graduated, I started dating Shaun and thought I was ready for something that I wasn't.
So our relationship soon ended because I then found something that I thought would make me happier, when really it turned my whole world upside down, inside out and everywhich way but the right way.
After that whole experience, I was a mess.
I thought my life was over, and I wanted it to be. After a couple months of doing stupid stuff and holding in all the depression, I started dating Michael.
After we started dating I started to release all of that pent up depression and I started drinking a lot.
But soon quit after I made a terrible mistake which resulted in our relationship coming to a week long end.
Here we are, still together.
Tuesday will be 1 year.
Not only is this my longest relationship, I am the happiest I've been in a long time.
I love him very much and even though we fight, and have our problems I wouldn't trade it or him for the world.
And recently I had the same thoughts that Brianna has been having.
And Im sure if I asked Michael if he thought we were meant to be together, he'd tell me the same thing Dann told Brianna.
But sometimes, even though you don't want to hear the answer that they have, you have to ask the question.
The truth hurts and will always hurt.
All day today, I look at him and just smile.
He makes me really happy.
When I look at him, it makes me so happy to know that I'm with him.
That I am able to wake up next to him everyday, and fall asleep with him every night.
If you haven't noticed, I really do love him.
Justy, I miss you.
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m&ms487
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2006 28 October :: 4.21pm
Jessie is here at CMU with me. I'm extraordinarily excited. Earlier, we romped about the campus. Next, I believe we'll prance to Meijer. Either way, I'm sure it's going to prove to be a most fantastically enjoyable occasion.
Good Day.
Michelle
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m&ms487
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2006 27 October :: 11.20am
"Now it is autumn and the falling fruit
and the long journey towards oblivion.
The apples falling like great drops of dew
to bruise themselves an exit from themselves.
And it is time to go, to bid farewell
to one's own self and find an exit
from the fallen self."
-D.H. Lawrence
From
"The Ship of Death"
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rayray
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2006 27 October :: 10.34pm
So its been awhile since a real update.
There really isn't much to fill you in on.
As I'm sure you all know the contents of my life.
And I'm sure most of you are just as surprised as I am, that next tuesday will be mine and Michaels 1 year anniversary.
My longest relationship.
We've been in a slump the last month or so.
But things are so much better.
And I love him so much.
I get depressed way too easily.
But anyway.. this isnt much of an update because I have to go to bed.
I have to be to work at 4. Sucks to be me.
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m&ms487
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2006 26 October :: 6.54pm
Sometimes I can just feel this pressure well up inside of me, encompassing my heart. I get cold, and shiver, even when the air is warm. My eyes well up with moisture, ready to burst at any moment. The back of my throat aches with every beat of my heart. I become despondant, distant, a type of concentrated deliriousness. My lips become dry, a shiver runs through my shoulders. The hair that fell in front of my face remains unmoved.
I stare at the screen, or some other distant or imaginary object. I can't think of anything else.
What is this feeling?
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angel_bob
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2006 26 October :: 2.10pm
So I'm sick or something.
I'm trying to decide whether to go to my last two classes or just the one. Sigh.
I've been watching baby shows all day which made me think about this girl in one of my classes which motives me to buck up and go to the last two.
It also makes me want babies.
I need to get this hygiene stuff under control. I'll just put on my scarf and call it tolerable.
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sugarjackj
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2006 26 October :: 9.32am
I'm tired.
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sugarjackj
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2006 25 October :: 1.34pm
Love is a plaintive song,
sung by a surfing maid.
Telling a tale of wrong,
telling of hope betrayed.
Never a selfish whim,
sorry when he is sad.
Blind to his every mote,
Merry when he is glad.
Merry when he is glad.
Love that no wrong can cure,
love that is always new.
That is a love thats pure.
That is a love, a love thats true.
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m&ms487
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2006 25 October :: 10.04am
:: Mood: bored
So...
Would you say your nose crotch has had an important effect on your recent health?
If so, explain.
Thank you.
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skife
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2006 25 October :: 7.28am
okay, so day, 6000 DVD cases to "the twilight zone" seasons 1-6 need to be sorted.
the past 2 days, we worked on like $150,000 worth of bibles.... some glue failed to stick on the boxes.
a trained monkey could do my job, to top it off, we get annoyed by this dumb bitch that works there that is married to stephanie davis' brother.... she doesn't shut the hell up either... my god all she does is try to be funny.
GAH
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m&ms487
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2006 24 October :: 5.56pm
:: Mood: amused
University band in thirty minutes. Never fear, I won't be late. The library is next to the music building, and I'm always the first person in there anyway.
I played Syrinx today. It's been a long time. I remember auditioning at Grand Valley. Thinking of that day makes me less nervous for my audition here.
I still have to figure out if it's allowed to major in English and minor in Music in the degree i want to get. I'm not quite sure. I hope so.
Rueben is coming to see me tonight. I'm relieved.
My phone and his phone are acting weird. We can't call each other's phones, but we can both call other people.
Speaking of people calling me
[check phone]
No one called me.
I didn't go to bed until three this morning. It was so odd. I was wide awake. I took a shower and painted my nails. I watched the SNL with Dane Cook.
Everyone up here is obsessed with Dane Cook. Especially my roommates.
Deja Vu.
Goodness. My mind is just not doing well today. I have one of those headaches that you get when you think too hard. We started cellular respiration today in biology. It makes a lot more sense the second time around. Especially with a teacher that knows what he's talking about.
6:03pm
The news is on. I'm not watching it. But it's on. It's a definite.
Babbling on and on.
Your comment. I'm not quite sure what to make of your comment, but either way, I'll take care of it, whether it's apparent or not.
What is it with creepy old men around here?
Ham in the cafeteria today. It was pretty delicious. My roommates and I have agreed that they put laxatives in the food. It's a precautionary measure, so that if something's spoiled, it goes through your system faster so you don't food poisening as bad.
Head Aches.
Rueben is coming soon. Goodness.
Next:
Prelude, Rondo and Siciliano
Salvation is Created
And, the one and only
Liberty Bell
Like I said, John Phillips Sousa and I have something going on.
I bet you're jealous.
Michelle
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sugarjackj
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2006 23 October :: 11.58pm
Dr. Robinson
I like the sound of it.
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m&ms487
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2006 23 October :: 10.20pm
I've lost almost all of my hope for the future intelligence of the human race.
I'm fairly positive that they're going to put me in a nursing home and call me demented when I'm eighty and start reciting Frost.
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angel_bob
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2006 23 October :: 10.17pm
I forgot how much I loved the Last Days of April.
I think I might be able to live through this paper.
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rayray
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2006 24 October :: 12.41pm
I called in sick today.
Probably shouldn't have because I desperately need the money.
But what can ya do.
I can't seem to get rid of this headache.
Depression is starting to get to me again.
The one thing I should probably do, I can't.
I don't want to. I want things to get better, fast.
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m&ms487
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2006 22 October :: 7.41pm
:: Mood: nauseated
Online Child Predator?
I'm in the library and I think I might be sitting next to an online sexual predator. These computers are open to the public, so you don't need to log in or sign in or anything.
When I came over to this computer he was on a site that feature interactive anime. Now, he's in a chat with someone who's icon is an emo stick figure. He keeps on stretching out and chuckling to himself whenever he gets a response to his message.
Did I mention he looks like he's fourty????
Gross.
[edit] oh, and he has a long scraggly ponytail, too. I bet he's almost bald underneath his embroidered baseball cap.
[edit 2] I think i'm going to throw up.
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m&ms487
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2006 22 October :: 6.28pm
:: Mood: drained
I went to the choir concert today, the one Jackie was in. It was beautiful. I've never been to a truely good choir concert, just high school ones.
I finally got it. The reason. Their voices, the instruments of a wind ensemble, they're suppose to sound the same (very few do, however). There were times when I would shut my eyes and it was just music. It wasn't a band, it wasn't a choir, they weren't even chords. It was just beauty painted on the silence of the stage. It made me start crying.
The more I listened, the more I felt that I have become disconnected from all of this. I just thought over and over how if I was studying music at Grand Valley right now, everything would be better. My life would be so different. But I'm not there, and my music is growing more distant every day. I'm ashamed of that.
The first choir sang a piece derived from my favorite poem by Christina Rossetti. I didn't have a program, but I knew after the first line what it was. I recited it to myself as they sang. The arrangement for it was beautiful, full of movement and richness. The words got to me. It was then that I realized that I love both too much to choose. I love words, I love how they make me think and question, but I love music as well, how it makes me feel, how it makes find beauty in everything. I don't know if I was suppose to study music, or english, but without both, I can't live, and in that, I'll study both for the rest of my life.
REMEMBER
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
December 29, 1894
michelle
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m&ms487
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2006 21 October :: 6.07pm
I'm stuck. My car is broken.
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m&ms487
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2006 20 October :: 2.20pm
:: Mood: awake
Your eyes hold captive a sadness,
which very few have found.
Yet, is it luck or misfortune,
That you know this now?
Few can truely exclaim,
Knowing of that grief,
Does knowing of the worst,
Make happiness more sweet?
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angel_bob
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2006 20 October :: 1.30pm
Schedule
The asterisks mean that it's still tentative. Scary.
Read more..
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angel_bob
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2006 20 October :: 1.09pm
We received our flight itinerary for France.
I am no longer excited. I am just scared and anxious.
We also received our finalized schedules for school. They show when we have breaks and everything.
Here is the flight plan:
Read more..
I'll repost this as it gets closer to January. I will post our breaks and things later.
I'm scared.
I love you all.
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