:: 2004 20 April :: 9.58 pm

yes. i am a "witch".

i thought that it was so predictable that i would say that, but then you turn around and say the same exact thing. hmmm... i guess you're more like me then you'd like to admit. forget it, lets not get into that again.



i cant wait for alaska.
i cant wait for this weekend.

this weekend will be so much fun. and no im not talking about our prom, im talking about kent citys prom. *some* people got a little confused. and no im not going with a date, im going with like 13 other people. not that it matters, but if im going "tick" people off then it had better be for a ligitimate reason. and if any of you say that i spelled that wrong... well... i dont know. just dont...... or else. yeah. thats it. or else. what a scary phrase. yep.

*Jess, Becky, Brandi, Taryn, Lindsay* (i think thats all the people on woohu) senate meeting thursday.. nobody forget

im at brandi's, i love her..... *HUGS*
you are my cat skinner and i shall call you crazy and you shall be mine. come here crazy!

between slicing my elbow with a scapel, spraying me with cat juice, and "breaking my heart" i'd say brandi could have let me DIE today. *mishu mishu? rawrrrraaawwr (crazy animal noises)*

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 19 April :: 1.23 pm

thats great. just great.






tonight i have boot camp, and im going to watch ryans baseball game. i dont really feel like doing anything tonight though.... ah well.. it'll probably change.

im going to prom this weekend with some of my friends. i cant wait till this week is over, this year really. *screams

what do you do when you're so _____ (adjective here) you dont even know how to manage it? pray.. thats all i can do right?

*im more depressed then mad. you're supposed to be my best friend.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 18 April :: 3.37 am

screw it.
consider yourself an aquantance...

i cant stand you anymore.



tonight was fun. that concert thing was ok. forever december kicked arm. i thought the highlight of tonight was laying on the tramp till 3 in the morning.. to scared of stacys mom to go inside. stacy, dustin, dylan, and kate...... it was quite the fun. erm.. yes.



i raked for 4 and half hours today.. just thought i'd whine.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 15 April :: 11.26 am

i stayed home yesterday.

and i made my first turkey. i was so proud. i even cut up little pieces of celery to put on top of while it cooked. i made develed eggs too. and when my mom got home we made stuffing and mashed potatoes and corn.

*mmmmmmm

so yes, i am proud. my first turkey didnt burn, it was done on time, and it was juicy.

i loved yesterday. *grins.

im so excited, im not really to say why... but im so excited!!!!! *eeek. woot woot.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 13 April :: 7.19 pm

te he he he he he he he he.

so, i find it funny that it is so widely known how small he is. ahahahahahahaha.

*note to you* if its not something to be lets say... "proud" of, you might not wanna show it to everyone.





*giggles to self.

fun day after school. yes, it was.

7 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 13 April :: 1.25 pm

so, my mom and i fell in love with some land yesterday. i think we're gonna try and buy it. its gorgeous. when we drove up over the hill to get to it there were 5 deer standing in the middle of the road staring at us. i was like, its a sign! te he. then we went back to it with my aunt susie and there was a bunny rabbit hopping through it... and if you knew how much my mom loved bunnies... lol. it was like the heavens opened up and started singing. i really like the area... but i dont want to get my hopes up. i think though, we just might be able to do it. *smiles

so in 4th hour my dad was brought up. and it really suprised me. because now i know that there IS a possibility, and for some reason that makes me happy, even though it shouldnt. i want to ask her more about it, but she probably wouldnt know anything else anyways. i guess thats another thing i shouldnt get my hopes up on.

my hair said to me this morning.... hey, im not going to be homosexual today. and i was like, thank you.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 12 April :: 11.49 am

woot woot
so my break was pretty.... ok.

saturday kicked lots of arm. i went to the switchfoot concert at the orbit room with Alyssa and we met around 8 people there. BUT, one of the girls we were with knew the bouncer so we got in for free.. surpassed the hour and half line... very cool. so me and alysa pushed our way up and ended up being one person away from the stage. i touched the lead singer. te he. major strokage of the armage..... or... erm, something of the sort.

the first band that played (Colepland... sp*) was really awesome. after the show i got the lead singer's autograph after telling him how he was... he smiled, brushed the hair out of his eyes and said thank you. he actually talked to me, AND thanked me for comming out. *faints

so yes, it was a good night.



over spring break, i spent a total of 3 nights alone. thursday, saturday, and sunday. busy.

this weekend however.. not so fun. friday my aunt pats picking me up after school to do yard work to earn money for the missions trip, saturday i have to meet at the church and the whole youth group is going over to some church family to do yard work for the missions trip (we're making 300 though, so i guess its worth it) and sunday my cousin sylvia wants me to come over after church to do some yardwork. Oh.. im sooo bustin out the rake AND the heavy duty garden gloves. mm hmmmm

so in this rush to find a house my mom and i drove over to wiersma yesterday, sat in the driveway of this house, and discussed all the possible things we could do to it. i guess she's gonna call jon and see if he'll show us the inside, or give us the key box code. its cute, and its got a really nice yard.... but eeeeewwwww i dont know if i could be THAT close to stacy. i mean....... same road, i dont know if i could handle it. *shudders. te he. i dont know.........

ok, well out of time, stupid algebra, stupid school.... uuughgghhhhgh... i'd yell my curses at it if swearing werent all sinful and BAD. no swearing in my journal.. new rule. i'll try my best, but YOU, you all are "forbode". mwah ha ha ha ha.

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 8 April :: 1.26 pm

we are now awesome. we are now nasty, tired, disgusting awesome people. *i love you becky*

we just dominated that block. we started at beckys dads house, walked up to simmons, then turned around, walked down to algoma, to wiersma, to simmons, to 19 mile, to dads house. te he he he. we reckon it was about 3 and a half miles. go us.... skinny ass, here we come.

revolting stick of celery...... *reluctantly..... here we come as well.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 8 April :: 10.56 am

so yesterday.... yep.

becky spent the night, we fumed, and yelled, and watched johnny.

a little blown away, very angry, and also very meha;jklvadsirvclakjel;kja. yep, that almsot sums it up. except that IT DOESNT.

*controls anger......*






in other news, becky and i watched johnny and it was wonderful.

so far i havent spent the night alone. he he.. sounds dirty....

friday and saturday i was at the burns, sunday i was at brandi's, monday brandi was at my house, tuesday sara was at my house, and last night becky was. its been an ok break. could have been better........ growls.


sara is obsessed with johnny too.... and that rocks my socks. we watched dirty dancing and footloose when she was over. she is SO my friend.

well.. becky and i are going to eat swiss cake rolls and then proceed to run it off. mm hmmm....... where could we be right now?

*still angry. both of us. yep.

14 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 5 April :: 6.44 pm

please, read about my day.. it was exhilerating.

woke up: 11:00
ate breakfast: rice crispys with bananas
listened to dashboard: always fun.

ok enough of that format. so anyways. brandi and i got in our "excersize gear" aka: tanktops and swishy pants..... and walked around the block. oh yes, around that block we walked.... BUT.... it took us 45 minutes, because its quite long of a block. we almost got attacked by these rotweilers. we were on whipple and they came running at us barking and growling and they were right at our heels snapping at us. it was scary! we were for sure they were going to attack us. so i just started yelling at the top of my lungs.... "your dogs are outside, come get your dogs.." sadly, nobody came! there were no sticks to pick up and hit them with though. so yes, that was our "near death" experience. so then we got back after that "exhilerating walk" and did 20 push ups. oh yeah, go us. THEN... we made a healthy lunch. i even made fruit salad. it consisted of bananas and apples, but it was cute! cut up into tiny little squares. ah yes, cute it was. so anyways. the health "binge" didnt stop there. we also had ham sandwitches, carrots and half a container of yogurt...... ALL while eating on her picnic table outside and listening to dashboard. paints a picture of perfection dont it. *giggles.

so after that we went for a bike ride.. oh yes my friends, i said a bike ride. and OH MY GOSH... we could have died!!!!! if i would have jumped out in front of that huge truck that passed us, it could have ran me over, and i could have died. its sad isnt it. but that doesnt compare to when we were eating dinner tonight. if i would have choked on my spaghetti, fallen on the floor, and brandis dad could have not knowing i was dying... moved his chair back and squashed me. *gasp....... i could have died.

*brandi and i have randomly been comming up with near death scenarios all day. the reason behind why is what makes it funny..........

so yes, we shalt go off to my house where we will walk at the track and laugh incessantly at all our fatness as it whithers away to nothing.

permanant size 3 here i come.



oww.. my legs hurt, i want some ice cream.
but NO, i wont, becase what am i? healthy. yes thats right. I erika, and you brandi..... are healthy... and retarted. yes... healthy and stupid. no no.. stupend.

"you stupend movie."

we have also developed a new found love for mongooses. i love them. i shall marry them and call them chris after dashboard.

*swoons

3 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 4 April :: 9.50 pm

stupid computer. stupid stupid computer. i just typed long stupid entry and then all of a sudden the screen goes white and its all gone. gah.

this is the 3rd night i havent been at home. friday and saturday night i was at the becky and ryans house. now im at brandis. but, it beats being at home. by far. its funny...... i feel like i’ve just gained 2 best friends. like i’ve skipped the “friends” stage and gone straight to “best friends”. its nice. hopefully ya’ll can meet them soon.

it seems that becky (visser) has fallen off the face of this planet. i am unable to get ahold of her. *wonders why, rolls eyes* there is now noone to swoon over johnny with.

i watched somethings gotta give with the becky and ryan... man thats a long movie. good, but long.

im a little sad about the missions trip. the burns AND the odrens arent going now. long story, really sucks though.

to clear up some confusion. this “mystery guy” i speak of.. i just think he’s hott. thats it. as brandi said, its sad when thats the depth of his personality. but wow is he ever pretty to look at. at least he’s not over dramatic and stuck in the past. *clears throat* moving on.

ok, so i might have one crush. brandi seems to think that i do. well as long as she thinks so. but i dont know...... i giggle alot, and i smile constantly when i think about him. i just dont know. im having to much fun being his friend.




oh, yeah... and apparantly im screwing my life up. *its nice to find that out* because (heres the good part) every other guy that i get involved with is just using me. thats great... OH and because he is the ONLY guy that is right for me. well i consider myself screwed then, because im feeling pretty great about my life right now. its good to know that you think differently. heres an idea... leave me alone!




brandi and i just made ice cream sundays. we probably have about 2 spoon fulls of ice cream under hotfudge, whip cream, bananas and cherrys. lol. we had fun making them. for some odd reason... we got quite a kick out of getting the cherrys out of the jar..... giggles. its late. we’re stupid. what can i say.

3 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 3 April :: 10.21 am

im at becky and ryans house. i love them. *hugs* last night we were running around outside.. *they live WAY out in the country* and it was so fun! their neibors have peacocks!!! and that just struck me as amazing.. te he. (and no brandi, they are NOT blue turkeys!) so yeah, we played a bunch of childhood games last night.. aka: hide and seek in the dark, red rover red rover. ha ha.. it was great. then we watched how to deal. its nice to be with people that you can just relax and be yourself with. life is getting better. it really it is.

*score* we're going to see the easter bunny today.... my little sister, i swear.

well i spose i should get going... we're gonna head back to my house in a few minutes here.

stacy- i had this dream last night... *remembers....smiles... giggles* it was great... te he he he. call me sometime in the next days or so...

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 1 April :: 8.24 am

so its been a couple days.... im suffereing from lack of woohu.

the other day i was talking to my mom.. and my sister comes in saying "the kitty got a mouse" and we looked at her to tell her to be quiet and right there IN her hands, was none other then *gasps* a mouse. it was all half dead and twitching... *shudders* it was scary.

i got my report card. 3.945
oh yesh..... go me.

spring back will consist of nothing.. and its going to be "AWESOME" meh heh.... sometimes you just cant refrain from making fun of people.

oh yeah.. i had lunch yesterday. yup.

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 30 March :: 2.07 pm

*laughs*

its just so darn pathetic. i find it funny when people who have meteoker lives try and make it dramatic just to call attention to themselves.



*eeeeks* so hott, so so so so hott.

its nice to feel that way again. to actually see someone and have that feeling in your stomach jump, or try and tell your friends that "oh my gosh" he looked at me.. but you cant stop smiling and giggling, or when you can feel your face turn red when he walks by. i havent had that for awhile.. and even though i know it would never happen, im ok with that. because im content with just being in the giddy stage................

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 29 March :: 3.41 pm

now im all confused. i think im going to prom, i think he thinks im going with him, but i dont know for sure. and now im confused as to how i could be going with someone and not even know myself that im going. hmmm.. i dont know.

i love otis....... he is my wonderfull little man.. and i shall love him forever. *admires

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 28 March :: 4.35 pm

im at brandi's. Matt's party last night was fun. that was the best orgy i've ever had. te he. *winks

so you know the purse i might have "mentioned" before in my journal? With the funny little man? Well i got it today, and i named him Otis. i love Otis. Otis rocks my socks. but in other news....

so im gonna learn bass i suppose, and then im going join me a band schee. and then we're gonna play at battle of the bands schee. and im gonna stop saying schee.. cuz its gay. annnnywhore. really though. it should be fun. fun people they are. (the schutters)

brandi and i went for a walk. it was "exhilerating."

ok, im gone.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 27 March :: 1.06 pm

im at work with my mom right now. i dont think im supposed to be on the internet... i guess i'll just take that chance. i feel alot better. im glad that maybe she's starting to understand. i love you, you know i do.

im getting my hair highlighted in about 20 minutes. *screams. im scared.

i went to out to coffee with jake yesterday, that was nice, havent seen him for awhile.

my mom went out last night. i was really happy she did cuz she hasnt in a long time. i was praying and i was like... "thank you that my mom is out having a good time, she deserves it." then i stopped and was thinking, wait, im praising god that my mom is out at a bar?! Lol..... ah well. i love her so much.

*OH MY GOSH*
good things to happen to semi- good people. *breathes in* Brandi, you know yesterday after school.. the thing that stopped me from breathing?!!!!! YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH. wow. i must control myself. but wow. so hott.... gah. *faints*

i typed up my story, its 16 pages, im sure i made a zillion mechanical errors, but it was good to write a story like that. it's called.... "Coffee, Ignorance, and Redemption" im actually semi - proud.

i had mini muffins today... they're just too cute for their own good.

ok, i've gotta go chemically damage my hair..... *thinks back to previous spasm*

Good lord he's hott.

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 26 March :: 2.09 pm

im so depressed. im losing everything. my best friend, my patience, everything.

its nice to know that im self centered and blow everything out of proportion.

im gonna go home and try to not think about anything at all. everytime i do... i hate myself. and im sick of hating myself.


i hope you're happy, you're tearing me apart... im begining to hate you for it.

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 25 March :: 12.09 pm

im still angry... it only gets worse. maybe i should just "remove" myself from the source of anger. i dont know if thats even possible.

im just tired of feeling sick to my stomach everytime im in your presence.




youth group tonight.
highlighting hair saturday.
matts party.

pathetically small schedual. oh well. i wanna go to cafe ala mode with becky and ryan, it was closed last time we wanted to go. i just want to find a nice, quite coffee shop or book store where i can just go and read and talk casually with nobody in particular. that'd be nice.

note to self: (i've got nothing.)

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 24 March :: 12.14 pm

well now its wendnesday, and thanks to stacy i now know that it is wendnesday because yesterday was tuesday. you are so smart.. i envy your erm.. smartness.

so brandi.... i wath at your houth yethterday... i jutht love it there. Ethpethially when we lithen to muthic. ithh great. you're tho thilly, i juth love you!

*te he ~nervous laugh, changes subject.

im getting my hair highlighted this weekend.
woot woot.


you make me sick.

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 23 March :: 1.42 pm

its only tuesday...... why is it only tuesday.

a couple of months ago someone called me manic depresive.
hmm.. i wonder if its true.
sometimes life sucks.
other times it doesnt.
so in a way isnt everyone manic depresive sometimes? When they have things in their life they have no control over, and it gets so frustrating that you have no idea what to do about it. so if that is considered manic depresive, then everyone can be like that at times. its the people who have more circumstances like that, that are considered manic depressive.
good observation. yep...

yesterday after my mom got home we went and looked at some "houses" cough cough... and it was so much fun. we were just being crazy. i love when i can be like that with her. alot of times it doesnt seem like shes my mom, but like shes my best friend. which she is... but i mean really. shes so much fun....

*tear.. i love my mom. lol



if school was a group of people at a flea market, i'd drive my car through them.

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 22 March :: 8.30 am

*cries

secret window.... two johnnys..... TWO of them...... the world is perfect now.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 19 March :: 12.13 pm

so thats nice to find out.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!!!!! *yells and waves*



on a darker note, seems how people keep using that phrase, when will this ever end. oh wait, i know that answer. in a couple months tops. mmmmm.... people are just silly. *im gonna start to overuse corny words, just for the heck of it.*

so i think im gonna see secret window this weekend... not for sure. but hopefully. im suffering from johnny withdrawl. i know for sure brandi wants to go... so if anyone else wants to go let me know. we can set up a "group gathering" oh yes..... and we shall call it a "group gathering." ok... end of subject.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 18 March :: 12.14 pm

why do i let it get to me.... i know what i am, so why should i let people make me feel like i'm less. maybe it'll all work out one day.. i dont think it will though.

so i got this email.... and it was kind of a suprise, but it was nice. its nice to feel wanted again. or maybe not wanted, but attracted to.... havent had that in awhile.

i've decided that im gonna stop swearing... REALLY try and stop. why do i swear anyway... most likely i'll fail miserably... but theres not harm in giving it a shot.

i really hate how some people talk to you only until somebody else comes along, or ignores you mid sentence. i also love how my opinions dont matter and my problems are comparable to hers. i wish i knew what went through her head on a day to day basis.

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 16 March :: 2.18 pm

im so behind on homework, i didnt come to school yesterday because i was too tired. and no im not a panzy, but really..... i was tired!

no more play, it really is sad...... what am i going to do with my time now? i guess i'll volunteer, not like its a bad thing, i just dont want to get the tb test. something about being stabbed with 4 little needles and waiting for my skin to bubble up doesnt appeal to me.

i should jump on the bandwagan and make one of those quizes people keep sending me..... hmm, pry not. ya'll just cheat anyways. and what a fun word... ya'll. i love those southeners... just love em.

i havent seen the secret window yet, its sad, it really is. i've been to busy. but now im all free.. so if anyone wants to see it, WITH me and becky of course, give me a call. movies are always more fun in groups. ah well.

i love my new friends! and my old ones! and just.... erm... i dont know. life is ok now... not great. but ok. and im content with ok.

5 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 14 March :: 2.54 am

im at jessies right now.... decided to check my email since i havent since YESTERDAY.. gasp.

it still bothers me, and it bothers me that it bothers me. mm hmm, that made sence, i know it did.....

the play kicked ass all three nights, im sad its over, relieved and sad.

i suppose i have nothing to say except i have a shit load of homework to do tomorrow. damn that homework.

well they're watching pirates, i am SO in for a little depp action.

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 11 March :: 1.54 pm
:: Music: bang- yeah yeah yeahs

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2004 9 March :: 12.10 pm

i hate this....

i dont think that i should have to feel this way though.

i could come back and pull a stacy-becky and tell you two everything bad that you've ever said about eachother... but sorry, i have more class than that. i dont esp enjoy turning my friends against eachother. i hope you're happy.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..