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:: 2003 25 August :: 5.11 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Sublime :)

Well summer is coming to a end...
This summer went nice and slow. It was a good time. Im not going to back to school and be all dam summer went to fast because this summer really didnt. It went nice and slow....it was perfect. No regerts, no mistakes, no being upset i did good. As for school....well i have mixed feelings but im kinda okay with it....i just dont want to fuck up... i want to make it a good year. and i dont want to be unhappy and doing bad things. i want to be totaly happty with my self and my work. it sounds sooo liek something a parent says but i want to do my workl i want to be one of those kids who goes home does there homework as soon as they get home... i want to at least seam smart
school will start and i hate that part the whole part of geting used to it because once your in school for a while its not TOO bad, so im kinda doubting this wilson tec stuff. But i love taking pictures, and people say im pretty good so maybe i should go. Oh well this summer was so nice....its not going to end on a bad note....it was a good summer


COOL!

erich
How straight edge are you?

brought to you by Quizilla


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:: 2003 20 August :: 10.28 pm

like people read these...i think the only time you really do it like when you steal em ffrom peoples journals then fill em out
five details about your appearance right now.

[x] Black tank top

[x] jeans

[x] misfits belt bucke

[x] my hair is down

[x] my glasses are on


5 things that everyone should know about you.

[x] Angy

[x] Stupid

[x] easyly anoyed

[x] i cant say no

[x] did i say ugly?


five things that make you happy.

[x] my friends

[x] musci

[x] my louis

[x] pictures.

[x] my clean room


five groups/artists you listened to today.

[x] rancid

[x] nofx

[x] sublime:)

[x] boucing souls

[x] screeching weasel


five things that disgust you.

[x] wow this should be fun okay number one people who are fake, try to be what they arent so others will like them, just the kinda people who need others to think there cool

[x] people who lie just to get someone to like them or not to hurt them because lies hurt so much more then the truth sometimes...soo much more....i should know the person i trusted the most lied to be

[x] people who dont stand up for theere rights and hide there feelings people who are too dam shy to say to someone hey i dont liike you or something as simple as hey that doesnt look cool or thats not funny becaues its better to tell people then to pretend

[x] Cheaters. i dont think i need to say more.

[x] people who are smart and dont use it

five things you cant live without.

[x] music

[x] friends.

[x] well food and water

[x] lou?.

[x] my pictures make me happy


five things you'll do when you complete this.

[x] talk.

[x] sleep

[x] sleep is it really?

[x] wake?

[x] shower?


Five things you feel right now...

[x] tired

[x] hurt.

[x] bored.

[x] confused

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:: 2003 18 August :: 7.12 am

im so ready for schoool and stupid as it is....
So this summeer it was my start....a second chance to clean up and start over and now with school coming i know what i have to do. Im really going to work hard(and i know i say that now and i hope i can do it) and passs so i can go to school for what i want to....and be what i want to be when the time comes. i dont want to cut class and not do my work. i want to make sure i get everything done so i dont have any problems to deal with. i just want to have a good year. i'll go to drivers ed...i'll go to willson tec....i'll work the 2 jobs for the most part but ill probaly give up on dunkin donuts and keep the one with kids because that one is just more important if i want to be a teacher some day.......i dont want to be like last year...i just hope i dont give up midyear. because thats just like me....to give up....im going to make sure this works...and even if i dont get any free time...welll i guess its okay because there is always next summer

3 thanks champs | Talk to me


:: 2003 17 August :: 9.40 pm

havent updared in a while
So i work at dunkin donuts now in chase you want to tease me and stuff. and umm today we went to Karas party which i wasnt really invited to..well she said i could come but only cause she was talking about it in front of me and she felt badly. it was such a big house and a fancy place. then we went to louis cousins party which was much better and more fun because hes little cousin is sooo cool...hes the coolest little dude ever.

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:: 2003 12 August :: 10.20 pm

Yes another one of these
last cigarette: id have to say when ever the last time dave fox shoved on in my face was. Around that time we went out to eat lunch fancy and he made me take a puff. but my full one had to have been in valley steam

last car ride: louise mom drove me home

last kiss: i dont know last night?

last good cry: girls like me dont cry....okay okay it was like a monnth ago when my mom beat me with a hair brush...dammmm that hurt

last library book checked out: god i cant even tell you

last movie seen:me and lou watched lio and stitch last night and some one goonies

last book read: the cather in the rye

last cuss word uttered: fuck?

last beverage drank: peach snappl

last food consumed: salda

last crush: lou

last phone call:i dont know lou?
last tv show watched: umm i dont know

last time showered: today

last shoes worn: the same ones i always do...

last cd played: Big D

last item bought: umm id have to say a lite bright

last downloaded:dont know

last annoyance: my leg it ichy

last disappointment: i didnt get to go to disney

last soda drank: ew i hate soda

last thing written: ew i hate soda

last key used: a

last word spoken: gooodnight

last sleep: last night

last im: lou

last sexual fantasy: hehe

last weird encounter:i dont know

last ice cream eaten: ummmm on the cruzie i ate a little ice cream cuz it was all freee

last time amused: tonight

last time wanting to die: ya know the days kris left

last time in love: fuck you

last time hugged: before?

last time scolded: um iduno

last time resentful:im not resentfull

last chair sat in: this one

last lipstick used: um gummybear one

last shirt worn:"camp carnival"

last time dancing: well on the cruzie they tried to get me to but i wasnt having it

last poster looked at: the sublime on in hot topic today

last show attended:wraped

last webpage
visited: woohu.com

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:: 2003 11 August :: 3.21 pm

im geting so anoyed im going to be of driving age in a good 4months and i still dont have my permit...my parents wont take me i fucking cant stand it its sooo anoying. i need to sign up for drivers ed on the weekends because i have work after school everyday and my parents have to take me soon ah

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:: 2003 10 August :: 9.04 am

warpedd tour
Yesterday me louis galler rios and fingers went to warped. We didnt really see any bands, because they all sucked. The only one we reallly stayed for was rancid, there were awesome. Lou was so happy because he touched tim armstrong. There was reallly no not geting pushed around in there. I wasnt even in a place i should get hurt and i still did. Im such a little girl so i didnt get to see anyone on stage. Its too bad....We all left after dropkick played and went home with fingers. It was a okay day because we saw rancid and i at least got to hear the suicide machines and big d and a little of tsunmai bombs but i want to watch big D and the suicide machines alot...to bad....

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:: 2003 7 August :: 3.35 pm

I now own a cell phone the numbers 6788562 if you ever wanna call me

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:: 2003 2 August :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: hot
:: Music: less than jake

so ive been not hanging out with the people i always do...
Ah so last night i went to the mall with Joe Link, his ladie and Jay. Me and Jay kinda walked around together, i got new nose rings. we played go fish and uno you know same old shit
tonight i went out with amanda. the one from my math class....it was pretty cool we went to stop and shop and got water and i got blues clues chap stick and finding nemo stuff....im such a little kid..then went to see galler and went to eat dinner in the diner...had some good laughs...then we heaed to cvs i got pez and silly puddy...i dont know why i chocie to spent money i guess its better then on drugs but i had a nice time....it was cool to have someone else to chill with rather then lou rios galler and fingers

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:: 2003 30 July :: 7.50 pm

wow im home... so much to tell
Final the vacation is over; it felt like it would never end. There is so much to tell about it….i guess ill start off at the start. We meet Sams family at the air port and waited for the plane together. Me and Sam played “Disney uno” for a while and mini-ker-plunk. We wanted to sit together on the plane ride but our plans didn’t work out so I sat with my loving brother and sister. I was totally amazed because they had TV’s on the plane and even though I hate to watch TV I still found it awesome. The plane ride went fast and we soon got the the hotel we were staying at. First thing me and Sam did was go swimming. We had a pretty nice time then went back to get dressed at our rooms. I called Lou but he was at work so after that we went to dinner. Then me and Sam played mini-golf it was my 1st time ever. It was pretty funny cause I was so bad. I took pictures of all the funny animals there. We played in the arcade and I won pirate eye patches and a bunch of other useless shit. Then we went to sleep and the next morning it was time to aboard the carnival glory said to be the “fun ship” . I was so amazed when I got there by everything, it all looked soo cool. I want to go look around but my mom was bitching so I waited till later to explore. Me Sam and her friend ally all walked around looking at all the stuff to do on the ship. We went to dinner and after headed to the “teen party” which really was a bunch of 12 year olds playing video games. Well I was fixing my belt as I walked past this really ugly kid named Nate. He looked like a horse and I really didn’t like him at all. God the way this kid started to talk to me was so pathetic, he goes “Do my attractiveness ….Intimidate you?” I laughed and just walked away but he kept finding me. So I talked to him for a while. He was such a jerk, he was one of those guys who like thinks he can get every girl he wants. There wasn’t much to talk about so I asked if he wanted to play uno in the “game room” on the ship. He said no in his room, I keeped telling him no way but he wouldn’t have it and I wasn’t tired so I went to his room to play. I wanted to sit on the chair but he told me to sit on his bed. He sat next to me but I got up and moved on the other bed. I deled the cards, and he said someone on the lines of “the winner kisses the loser” I didn’t like that so I told him no fucking way. Then he was like im not here to play uno. I told him like 50 times before we entered the room that it was only for uno I was going there. Guys are so dumb just because they have you alone they think they have you. I told him I was the wrong girl to talk back to his room and he agreed so I packed up uno and went to bed. I really hope he realizes now not all girls want to do stuff when they say they will go back to there rooms. The next night I meet another kid Ben, a very nice young man he was. He was only 14 and very shy but it was okay because he was the coolest 14 year I ever meet. I never would have guessed he was so young he looked and acted a lot older but anyways, I asked HIM if he wanted to play uno in the game room thing. He asked yes and we went there. We played then a bunch of little kids walked in so I made them play. Then after that me and Ben just talked and he went back to him room. I started to walk back to my room when 2 kids asked me to help them find a kid that I was talking with early that day. They didn’t really look for him much we went outside on the boat then I went with them to there room to change. There names where nikko and David. Not cool kids, not cool kids at all. They tried to get me the dance with them but I don’t dance so me and dave sat outside while the kid niko tried to get some ladies. The kid was sooo boring but lucky for me my brother pretended he needed me so I left the kid and went back to my room.The next day I meet a a lot of people. I was in the game room with Sam and Ally, talking out pin the tale on the donkey and candy land when the kid bens brother walked by. I asked him to play and he said he would. Hes brother was a nice emo kids named Brandon I set it up as he called Ben to come play. Sooner or later there were a bunch of kids playing the games with us. Ryan and his little brother from south Africa, and a kid named Race. We played that and then Bradon got picturenary. We found a nice place to play and had a pretty good time for a while. Then the south Africa people went to dinner and we all went our own ways. The rest of the time was just spent hanging out playing uno with those kids I meet. One kid I didn’t like really at all, that was Race. I always kinda felt like he was undressing me with his eyes, and so did Sam and Ally(Ben and Brandon gave her a nickname…Crazy A it’s a great name).Anyways he aways said things where kinky it was really creepy. Ally thought we said cakey this one time so that became like the joke that things were cakey. We had the best waiters ever at dinner, really they ruled. Nester the buss buy kinds dude and ruleto who liked to say just kidding after everything. One night he told me I was pretty then like 10 seconds later he goes just kidding haha.
The last night of the ship was weird. I put a toga on for this kid kenny who was with my "group" like my family and family friends. Anyways he told me i couldnt come to his party if i didnt dresss up so i got dressed up and went to the stupid thing. Ally and Sam came to. We kinda sat there for a while waiting for more people to come. It ended up being this did nick i meet Kenny his ladie scott kennys friend and the other kid i dont remeber what his name was. My brother and sister also. We went to this club for 18 or over on the ship and ally couldnt get in soo there was some drama but i mean she is only 14 so i was understandable so me kenny and danile dealed with that then they tried to make me dance. i spent like 20 mins with them moving my hips and trying to get me to do it then i just went to my room packed everything away and said goodbye to that freakin ship
I meet a bunch of other kids also, this one red haired kid andywho keeped hiting one me but I wouldn’t have it. I don’t like the whole cruse hook up bullshit. I don’t get it, people like become a different person. There where sooooo many 13-16 year olds drunk ever night. I don’t get it….there so young fucking 12 year olds drunk out of there mind isn’t right at all, at least not to me. For the 1st time ever in my life somone called me sexy and said my birthmark was "kinky" kinda weird.After the cruse we stayed in the really nice place for 3 day and went to universal. It was pretty fun, we went with my cousins Pat Nick and Dan. There is no need to get into anything about that. My sister got me 2 shirts, one is the cat in the hat and the other she got me at the airport is monsters inc with an acrow that points to me face and says “now that’s scary” its cute. I also got a camp carnival shirt on the ship sincei had this oppseion with it the hole time. I really thought it was funny to see the litte kids I would scream WOOO CAMP CARVNAL all the time and when I was at there talent show I did it in the middle of this kids song….well that’s enough… Well let me just say some other stuff like where we went, we went to Belize, ey west, ad mexico. I saw the rainforest in belize it was pretty amazingly cool. I got everyone girts I got rios a sombrero, fingers a huge loilpop, galler a peeing monkey and lou a buch of things

Alright i wrote way to much on that subject haha id like to know who the helll read this leave a comment i want to seee how much time i wasted

2 thanks champs | Talk to me


:: 2003 13 July :: 7.40 pm
:: Mood: Bored.Angry

today.
Today my uncle came over. Ally her boyfriend John and Tim the kids from valley steam all were here. We didnt have much to do so we headed to the mall for about an hour. Ally and i saw an easy-bake-oven and got all happy so i bought it. We went back to my house and baked. Then we ate dinner and they left. I wanted people to come over, but for some reason they never want to go to my house. Im geting kinda pissed now, the 1st couple times i didnt care much, but today i really got mad because i keeped callling and asking and i had a fucking easy bake oven i mean god doesnt that just spelll F-U-N welll anyways i hung up with louis when he said no one was coming because i was welll pissed i said something like welll you guys are all gay and hung up. Im not saying i wanted to be called but or anything, but you know when you hang up with someone and liek you dont want to talk to them or anything but its just llike you feel as if they should call you back. I was going to call him back but i thought i would just sit home all night and be bored...i guess im just not in a good mood since yesterday my mom beat me with her hair brush and was drunk at night and mean all day. At least i got to hang out with some people and get an easy bake oven. John and tim were amazed at the complete waste of money but i have money and dont use it for drugs or food or anything so i thought why not buy something ill have a fun time with and my friends can enjoy every once in a whie cuz easy bake ovens are funn

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:: 2003 13 July :: 9.31 am
:: Mood: half awake

Alright so i havent been updating
Yesterday there was a block party kinda thing next store to me, so louis came over and we went. There was a clown kinda thing but it wasnt a real clown, just some dude with a cotton candy machine, one of those jumpy things and a box with stuff like tattos face pant and stamps in it. Some how i got louis to get his face painted like a clown, i got pictures hehe. A little girl ate bubbles so me and lou helped her get the taste out. Then we played with all the little kids there. This little boy named andrew was there, he was sooooooooooooo cute

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:: 2003 9 July :: 1.16 pm
:: Music: the sound of people working on my kicten

Im sooo tired its crazy
Alright so i started work on monday, i worked there last summer also its a nice job. I work at new york ave preschool with "speical ed kids". They are all boys, i someone how ended up with the all male room. Strange being i work with all boys and hang out with all boys. Its good cause girls are a pain. These little boys are soo cute. I already picked my fav, Michael. who is a cubby little kid with blonde hair and loves to play with fake food :) tyler who is SOOOOOO cute and is going to be sooo good lookin when he grows up (not to sound dirty) he likes to dress like a mail man its so cute. I always see the little kid who i loved last year and i say hi to him, he was sooo cute and always huged me and made me play with just him. He liked to sing the bob the builder theme song...heheh i love little kids .....anyways im sooo tired now from work.... i just want to go out now and get out of this house cuz it smells like paint , because we are geting the kicten fixed
byee

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:: 2003 5 July :: 10.53 pm
:: Mood: Joy
:: Music: sublime

MICE
Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice!Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice!Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice!Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice! Lou bought me to girl mice!

Hey everyone give me ideas for names

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:: 2003 5 July :: 3.57 pm
:: Music: none but thats a good idea

Yes, another pointless thing about me that none of you shall ever take time to read. oh well it keeps me busy
Full name: Caitlin Louise Caramante
nickname: Cait
sex: Im a little girl
age: 16
siblings: i got to of those. a girl one and a boy one...amy and brendan
significant other: Yes.. i thinks
eye color: Light brown..hazel kinda
hair: right now its red
what your wearing right now: a blue tank top and shorts with stars on the since im not dressed yet.

when was the last time you...
watched a movie: I watched "hook" with louis last night
talked to someone: im talking to ally on AIM right now
ate something: um this morning i did
did something illegal: A long time ago no more shit for me
kissed someone:Yesterday?
missed someone: a little while ago i missed kris like crazy siince he went to rehab but im moving on and geting over that kid.....even tho im sure everyone would agree i still talk about him alot...good or bad...
wished you were something your not:i wish i was not me because im ugly
listened to music: Now i have sublime on...i really gotta listen to something new hehe

favorite...
color: black or red
number: i dont think i have one..
drink (alcoholic/non): snappple...
place to hang with friends: i like to hang out anywhere my friends are cuz we make it fun ...awwwwwwww haha
sport: Lax?
song: i dont got ones of those
place to be kissed: what you mean...you mean bodie place or like sport?
body part of opp sex: Eyes

choose one..
black//white: black
scented//unscented: scented
cupcakes//cake: cupcakes
dog//cat: doggs cats suck
hot//good personality: Personality without a doubt
emo//gangster: Gangsters even if im not one of them there better then emo kids
beach//forest: Forest
winter//summer: summer
spring//fall: Fall
coffe/tea: tea

one thing you like about yourself:I dont know...im not shallow?

if you had three wishes: 1) Get out of this house and town 2) Take back everything that went on with kris 3) my mom would stop bithing


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:: 2003 5 July :: 12.00 am

Lou came to the fancy house today
SO today was the 4th of july and my brothers birtday but he wasnt home. i took lou to sams house the rich girl. i made him swim it was funny. they teased me cuz im not a good swiimmmer. then he watched me play lax and swam some more. we ate and wathced some good disney movies and HOOOK thats a great movie

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:: 2003 1 July :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: im okay
:: Music: Green day

WOW Journals are gay
Tonight i went to the mall with louis. I needed to get a dress for when im going away. Lou asked his friend to help me it was kinda funny to shop with lou. I got this black tube top thing and black shoes. I gues its okay i think i looked stupid but they said not so.

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:: 2003 29 June :: 12.40 am

Its about time for a nice update
Well there isnt much to get into about the last few days really. Went to Louis, same old shit. Today they had this "show" which really just was a bunch of little kids at matts brothers pretending like they care. It wasnt there best time playing, for some reason it seamed like they did worse then ever. Mayer didnt seam like he wanted to do it, which i dont blame him. They all seamed pretty out of it and no one there seamed to care much so it all kinda evened out. Anyways Matt(fingers) had some friends over, lets call them the "emo kids and chick he digs"...well he seamed to rather be with this kids then any of us This kinda made me a little mad/upset at Matt but i understood. Untill that is he left wit them and me and louis had to walk to Smithtown. Thats very far, at least 4 or 5 miles. We went to see Galller and then just went home at like 8 30 it was kinda a shitty day but its okay. I forgive Matt because its okay he can go with the girl he lieks and because i totaly love that kid and dont want to hold anything to him
welll bye

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:: 2003 28 June :: 12.33 am

odd...u dont have to have a real username. just put anything it works

Happy Deathday!
Your name:Cait
You will die on:Monday, August 21, 2017
You will die of:Deleted from the Matrix
Username:
Created by Quill


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:: 2003 26 June :: 12.42 pm

I would like to post this comment to allys journal comment as an entry rahter then a reply to her comment
Well this is to Ally but also something that ive been thinking about lately. I feel as if maybe i only loved kris because aftering spending so much time with kris, i felt maybe i have to love kris. I felt like why would i spend all these months and have sex with someone who i didnt truely love, when kris left i felt lost as if something was misssing. Then i found friends and found people who hated kris and gave me great reasons to hate him myself. im usely not one to change how i feel because other people feel that way but this really is a fact Kris is a shithead. he didnt treat me well and proably only used me for god knows what. it could have been sex. drugs . or just that for once someone seamed to care about him. i just think that i loved him because i guess i thought i had to, and i bet he did the same. Love is not a word to throw around, i always made ssure i didnt do that then for some reason kris got it out of me...so i take it back all of it, i cared and liked kris... love ...thats not what it was. it was a relationship based on mistakes. the mistake of using drugs and having sex with someone i didnt love. Big mistkaes that i cant take back, kris will forever be a important part of me. if anything it gave me a postive outlook on things. people are not always as good as the seam and love it totaly bullshit...well im going to stop rambling before i sound like more of an asshole and take up more journal space

7 thanks champs | Talk to me


:: 2003 25 June :: 12.00 am
:: Mood: bored/hungry

So today i went to louis and we hung out for like 30mins then ted took us to borders at like 2! whcih is so early for that so we headed to the mall. we kinda just walked about...then all sat and stuff..we walked to borders and me a lou stoped and saw mayer wondering so we walked with him to borders and just kiinda sat inside till lou took me home..

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:: 2003 23 June :: 10.41 pm

fuck this shit
Alright so now im talking to russ. and hes telling me its wrong to be "hooking up" withtout surely breaking it off with kris, but isnt it like a given that me and krsi are over? he said its wrong because kris is still waiting for me. but it doesnt matter because i stoped that shit he isnt worth my time. I told russ i was with louis now. he said that wrong or whatever. But i dont care cause louis is nicer and better to me then kris ever was in the 10months we were together. come to think of it ....lou is nicer then any other guy has ever been to me to be completely truthfull...i get along with lou really well...and i always did..lou is a great kid and kris just isnt right for me...i dont care...what do you people think Louis or Kris...not that it will change anything im just wonderring ...cuz im sticking with lou..hes the kid for me :) haha

here something that russ said...MrLunt135: but kris betrayed me
MrLunt135: he broke the trust
MrLunt135: and i could never trust him again in a relastionship
iFoLLoWbAdRoNaLd: true but be the bigger person
MrLunt135: i would love to be the bigger person. but i think id be bigger if i didnt pretend to be in love with someone who i am not...and was truthfull with him

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:: 2003 23 June :: 5.08 pm

lets see yesterday louis came wit me to a family party but thats not what i want to write about
before online russ said something to me when i was away it made me feel kinda bad in a way but i dont really understand how he can say what he did...he said he doesnt understand how i can just forget kris

iFoLLoWbAdRoNaLd: u were scared kris would forget u and now ur forgetting him
iFoLLoWbAdRoNaLd: thatts fucked up

I didnt forget kris...kris betrayed me and did me wrong. he lied to me and cheated on me and our whole relationship was a based on drugs its seams. i didnt forget him everyone knows that he is still on my mind. i still care about him but im not in love with kris because i dont want to be...i dotn want to get hurt again and i dont want to ever feel the way kris made me feel again. i just want to move on and try and be happy and i dont understand what im doing wrong...someone please tell me ...am i rong? should i still be hanging onto the thought that maybe someday kris will come back and love me and will be a new person? When you love someone you dont want them to change right? then i must not love kris cuz i would only want him back if he changed alot of things about him...and that wouldnt be love...and sure its good to forgive and forget..but do people reallly ever forget...and i could never trust kris again oh fuck this shit i was happy fucking happy now russ has me thinking im rong...someone please tell me what is wrong with me...am i rong?

2 thanks champs | Talk to me


:: 2003 21 June :: 10.43 pm

is this a test? or what
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | I scare my self
02 | Whats to become of me..the thought of being nothing
03 | Being alone forever

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | Louis?
02 | Fingers
03 | Ally

THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | sublime
02 | well..Louis..
03 | i dont know my friends?

THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | girls
02 | liers
03 | fake people

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | why people change for others
02 | why people dont care about anyone else but them self
03 | why some people are so lucky yet so ungreatfull

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | phone
02 | random wathes
03 | Misfits cd

THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | talking to lou
02 | filling this shit out
03 | hearing my mom be loud

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | go to Brazill because its brazill
02 | do something good with my self
03 | be somethng

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | lets see not much i can type
02 | take picures or so says people but do the school and my family count
03 | be stupid

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | im pretty angry
02 | i cant just say no
03 | i dont like my self

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS:
01 | red hair
02 | nose piecing
03 | light brown eyes?

THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | be cool
02 | be smart
03 | make good chocies

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | fuck
02 | nigger
03 | faggot

THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | pez
02 | pie
03 | i hate food

THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | how to me not mad
02 | maybe play something
03 | be smart

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | Snapple
02 | water?
03 | juice

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | barney
02 | naked people...hehe
03 | sesame street

1 thanks champ | Talk to me


:: 2003 21 June :: 10.08 pm

I need to take this test because i love fishes
You're Nemo!
You're Nemo! You love to explore you're boundaries
and don't like to be stuck at home especially
with overprotective parents. You're most likely
a outgoing person and love to make friends!
You're a likeable person so don't change!


What character from Finding Nemo are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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:: 2003 20 June :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: none

Today we saw the fishes
So alright today at like 3 i went to get Galler. Follwed by Lou and fingers. We went to the movies to see "finding nimo" but galler and fingers went there own ways to see "the hulk" because they suck and dont like fishes like me. After that we went to borders and i bought Louis a present because hes always so nice to me so i thought i would. that was pretty much my night. it sounds dull but it was really a nice night

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:: 2003 19 June :: 3.04 pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Misfits

I think the last to days where pretty eventfull
Alright so yesterday i went to take my global regents. and at the end of the test i ask the dude if i can leave since it was 2 and thats when you leave. so he says no and you can like hear people in the halls leavin. so im like dude i have to go home i need to get a buss. then i said a couple more things till he called someone to bring me down to mr conway. they wrote me up it was so stupid. so i saw kerri. and she said she was sorry which i feel like it was a very brave and nice thing of her to do. i was thankfull
so i had missed my buss so i called louis. and he got ted to come get me. i went to louis and we kinda just hung out. nothing speical.

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:: 2003 18 June :: 9.10 am
:: Mood: Half awake
:: Music: NONE

Alright so
Lets see yester i had my math final. It was pretty easy for a final and i feel like i at least past the dam thing. Anyways after the tests i went to Britts. We got alot of food and then had a good game of candy land. Then after my dad watched me take a pratice global test at which i got all the answers right be allowed me to go to louis. Galler Rios and fingers where there for about a half an hour and then they headed to borders or the mall. Lou stayed with me at his house since i had to go home at 8. We tried to play operation but we gave up or he did. Hes mommy wouldlnt let us in his bed room it was funny. Then he tried to help me study but since im so stupid i just couldnt do it. My mom came i went home and studyed for a little and now its like 9 and i have a test in 2hours. 3 hours of just siting there. Its probaly going to suck.

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:: 2003 16 June :: 9.32 am
:: Music: Sublime-Santeria

So yesterday was fathers day...
I spent the morning cleaning and making a cake for my mom. We got in a fight and she told me it wasnt good enought cause nothing i do is good enough for my mom but thats not important right now. Lets see Ally come over around 2, we sat around the house trying to find something to do all afternoon. We played some stupid game on the computer, that by the way i figgured out last night ally :)....alrigt so then after much begging i had Louis come over. He got there as me ally and my baby cousin eddie where playing candy land. it was the 3rd game and ed had beat us everyother round. we started to play with lou in the game ...ally set my little man back no even on the board so i could lose. as if i didnt every other time. then we kinda gave up and went inside. we watched ally dance with is alway a joy to see...from there we really did nothing then ally left and it was just me and lou so i made him play lax. it was stupid cuz we only have golf ball...anyways we sat on the swings in my back yard then it was time for lou to go and thats pretty much it

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:: 2003 15 June :: 11.22 am
:: Mood: mad
:: Music: yelling

ah so last night.
Lets see Lou came to get me and he gave me a shirt because hes nice and he didnt have to but he still did...its really amazing how much nicer lou has been to me in the last mouth then kris ever was in the time i knew him...anyways we went to louis ...with rios there. and we just were around his house for like 5 mins then we headed to the mall. waited for fingers. he came ...i finaly got nose rings for my nose that cant be worn in front of my mom. we headed to boreders stoped at toys r us. me and lou lost rios and fingers yet again so went to boreders and saw them walking up the huge hill to someplace...we sat in borders...pretty dull night..but still nice

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