them Damn Yankees

:: 2006 6 March :: 11.19am

Seriously how bad can our luck be.

So there is so much going on and ugh this.... almost this whole year has just been bad. and this specific year- 2006 has definetely been bad.

My mom won't throw me an open house because I'm moving out. Yeah okay. She's like embarrassed by me and my decisions I'm guessing because she said she doesn't want me to tell people I'm moving in with Roman. I want to be with Roman and really close to him so I can see him within 5 minutes if I want to, but that doesn't mean I'd have to live with him. I would live with friends and really close to him if I could. But I can't. I can't afford that and neither can my friends and I. And... he lives in Jackson so I have to be down there and my friends aren't down there and I am not living with my parents. So yeah , i'm moving in with roman, but not just so that i can be living with him. I'm moving in with him so I don't have to live at home and so that I can be near him. I'm gonna go to one of the 3 cosmetology schools I have picked out.

My mom and I are going to visit the schools hopefully this Saturday. Stef has graciously agreed to me spending the night at her apartment in K-zoo.*thank you again stef* So that is like, exactly halfway between Cedar and Parma(Jackson) so if I spend the night there Saturday night, I can still see Roman after our college visits and spend his birthday and our anniversary together and possibly Sunday.... but he has to work so probably not. And yeah my mom won't let me spend the night with him even though i'll be LIVING with him in 2 months. Does that make any sense... but whatever.

Wednesday is my 18th birthday and Roman was supposed to come up, pick me up from school. We were going to see Brokeback Mt. and then go to Coldstone because i've never had ice cream there. And then we were going to go to Margarita Grille. I thought it would be so fun. For my 18th birthday woo.

BUT GUESS WHAT

big shocker right? He has no car ever since the Taurus' transmission went out, and the truck that the brake line broke got fixed on one side but they are going to fix the other side too so it doesn't happen to that side as well or blah blah whatever car stuff that i dont really understand and his sister probably won't let him take the van so HOORAY no transportation.

He wants to get a car and we want it so bad, but he doesn't have the money right now for a down payment and he doesn't really have anyone who will co-sign. So there are like, no options. He's going to see he how much he needs for the bank to give him a loan but other than that there are no real options so it just sucks so much.

Like seriously. i never want to hear anyone complain about their boyfriends. I mean, obviously if they are going through a break up then yeah, they have it worse. but i can't even see my boyfriend on my 18th birthday which comes once in a lifetime. Seriously if he doesn't come , then i will be doing absolutely nothing on my birthdya. just sitting at home. how much does that suck. Seriously and it's like well i can't get mad at roman. its not his fault. he's been doing all he can. and all he can do right now is work. and he's working 36 hrs a week, he can't be full time just yet but he will be and he works all the time so i what more can i ask from him? for him to grow wings and fly here?!

Oh and one more thing. Can you believe I actually came up with this idea and these words actually came out of my mouth? I suggested us not seeing each other for a whole MONTH so that he can save up for a car . It costs near 50 bucks to fill up that trucks gas tank so by not seeing me for a whole month he could save like a grand and make a down payment for a car. UGHGLAKJSLKF i dont even know. it might happen. how much does that suck.
You know, there's just nothing we can do.

I hate this so much.

And it's like what am I supposed to do, there's nothing to fix it. my parents wont let me drive down there.

theres nothing i can do.

seriously i just hate everything right now.

:: 2006 5 March :: 11.41pm

November 8.

I love you.
~
We are so wonderful to each other. We belong together. We are so strong. We will become even stronger. I've never felt so peaceful wrapped in your arms. It all happens for a reason.

4 comments | comment.

:: 2006 5 March :: 10.53am

This is going to be the hardest secret we'll have to keep. But well worth it.
It's going to be okay. It's going to be amazing.

6 comments | comment.

:: 2006 5 March :: 10.27am

My parents just dropped 50 on an SSR yesterday! Holy crap. They were working and saw it and then just decided to buy it. It's really cool and I get to drive it to the beach this summer. It's a convertible, too. And the color changes. Aqua Blur. AHHHH.

1 comment | comment.

:: 2006 5 March :: 10.05am

everyone around me is braking up. it's so crazy.

this winter has been a little too cold.

:: 2006 4 March :: 2.40pm

i totally just saw a couple get married at mcdonalds on the news.
they met when they both worked there.
that is so cute.
i knew mcdonalds was good for something other than creepy guys hitting on you at the window . . .
well, maybe not for me but it is for some people.

:: 2006 3 March :: 11.28pm

seven days off of work and ten days off of school. or something to that effect.
i am stoked.
seriously.

5 comments | comment.

:: 2006 3 March :: 5.36pm

well 5 hours has turned into 15 minutes and i'm SO EXCITED!!!!

have i said that enough!?!?!?

:: 2006 3 March :: 1.04pm

So Roman's gonna be here in 5 hours and then we are heading off to the suprise!!!

hooray!

And jess sorry i wasn't in PE today... my mom took me out to lunch and by the time we were done, it was kinda pointless.

1 comment | comment.

:: 2006 3 March :: 11.08am

Today is finally here! I can't wait to suprise Roman

YAY!

brokenmentality

:: 2006 3 March :: 9.02am

soo.. there's some seroius talk about us moving to Tennesse sometime this summer. that would be the most wonderful thing.

i was talking to Keegan about it last night, and im not worried about leaving him, because more than likely, he'd come with us. i just hate michigan, and i hate cedar springs. i know that sounds bad because i was the red flannel queen, and i guess hate is to strong a word. cedar springs is my home, and no matter where i go, where i end up... it will always BE my home. and regardless of what anyone says, we will never FULLY get away, because this town harbors all of our childhood memories. we are who we are because we've lived in Cedar Springs, and i'm not ashamed to say i'm from a small town, because there is a "Cedar Springs" all over the U.S... what i hate is the routine of living in the same place all my life. what i hate is living in a town that is so closed minded and traditional. and what i hate is living in a town who's known for dollar stores and pizza places.

Tennesse on the other hand, is absolutely breathtaking. i've known that i wanted to live there since the 5th grade when we went on vaccation to the Smokies. i'm not a big city girl. i dont want to live in an expensive appartment for the rest of my life! i want (corny) a big back yard and a little yappy dog that barks at squirls bigger than it! i want a window FOR ONCE with a view. and i want and desperatly miss that feeling of connection with a power so much greater than myself when i look at the mountains. thats what i want. there's nothing here for me. after school... there's NOTHING here. i would have a hard time leaving my friends... but i'd deal.

the one person i could NEVER leave though, is keegan. at least not right now. not when he's my best friend and a big part of my life and quite possibly future. thats why if we leave, he'll leave. we're not about to give up on something so beautiful.

so.. perhaps this a goodbye to miserable winters and tanning salons?! i guess we'll see.......

1 comment | comment.

:: 2006 2 March :: 9.48pm

OKAY I ALMOST TO THE POINT OF JUST SAYING FUCK YOU AND GOODBYE.

yeah i love roman totally with all my heart. but i never started loving you any LESS because of my love for roman.

doesn't any of that sound relavent.

well it should.

oh and on a totally different note. i seriously fucking hate racism.

FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!

:: 2006 2 March :: 4.40pm

Well now that everything is a closed chapter I guess all I have left to do is move away from here.

Oh and I seriously don't know how Im' going to be able to stand IT. Oh my goodness don't even get me started.

And well I guess cause it's just me and you now......
I seriously would give anything to be alone in your room again ordering pizza and then finishing it off with some Edy's Mint Chocolate Chip.

UGHGHGHGGh. But no, if i wanted that now... I 'd have to drive 2 hours for it.
Great.

Stop taking everything for granted you stupid stupid bitches.

:: 2006 2 March :: 4.34pm

well i know what I'm sick of and I guess I'm free of it now.

so yeah thanks in a weird fucked up way. UGH

:: 2006 2 March :: 2.24pm

I want to go on a trip. A big one. I'm so excited.

:: 2006 2 March :: 1.55pm

Hmmm. Well, my car finally did start. AHHH. That always happens. And I didn't have any class to go to or anything. I was just waiting around. Today was interesting. My table service class is going to be fun. I think.

:: 2006 2 March :: 10.57am

Okay so I have the best suprise for Roman. The idea came to from someone else so thanks to that someone I got this great idea. And then my mom came up with an addition to it to make it an even GREATER idea and then that idea took a while to work out and I tried and tried and finally I GOT IT!

And then Roman told me he couldn't come here on Friday because he had to work and I cried and cried and cried. And then he said he can leave at 4.

And then the car was going to be fixed and he got the part and then OF COURSE it didn't work.

But his sister is letting him take her van and he will be here at six tomorrow and i CAN'T WAIT!

It has been so hard keeping this suprise from him because I'm so used to telling him everything but I seriously can't wait.

And, as for everything else in my life. I have no idea what is going on.

AT ALL!

so whatever.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 1 March :: 9.02am

me and keegan got a hampster sunday.

his name is Sushi and just might be the cutest thing i've ever seen. (exageration... but awwww, hes the cutest)

we had our leadership convention monday, and last friday i had to send out the award of excellence. im so relieved to have two major things lifted off my shoulders. i was majorly stressin. but its all good now.

now if only yearbook would go smoothly.

:: 2006 1 March :: 8.16am

GRRRRRR

THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS!
DANG YOU! ! ! ! !

Now I'm stuck here. Probably for hours.

:: 2006 28 February :: 9.11pm

sarah, gus, and i are having a giant orgy right now. it is so cool.
i am so hot for them.
oh gosh.

i hit a racoon on the way.
we mourned all the way home.
poor poor racoon.
oh sweet thing.
it's fur was so soft and smooth.
he was such a smart little guy.

except that he ran out in front of the car.

so dumb.

it's been a bunch of months.
seriously.

:: 2006 28 February :: 10.48am

So yeah I have the best suprise for my boyfriend and he's gonna fricken love me more than he already does!

:: 2006 28 February :: 10.40am

BOMB

i got it!

:: 2006 27 February :: 9.32pm

I must.

No, I WILL win!

Muhahahahahahhararrrrrr

Rarrrrrrrrrrr!

Lol I really hope anyway!

:: 2006 27 February :: 3.34pm

ahhhhhh if this works out i'll feel like the best girlfriend EVER!! hooray!

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEe!

sugarmouse0587

:: 2006 26 February :: 1.21pm

i've gone completly off my gord.

but seriously? fucking sheets?

i feel like such a waste sometimes. and also a psycho. i don't know. i need to start voulunteering or something. or maybe declare my major. hmmpt.

i want to work this week. i fianally got Gabe and Adayja to start talking. And i got Paigen to do her tasks. uuuuggggggggg.

4 comments | comment.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 26 February :: 12.03pm

yesterday started out pretty rough.... but fortunately got better.

we went and saw brokeback mountain... it was really good. keegan didnt like it. whatever.

then we went to oasis. that was nice.

and then this morning he wouldnt make me french toast because he has to complain and whine about everything. so i had frozen waffles. i just want to be treated like a princess like other girls. their boyfriends make them breakfast. mine wont even cook.

:: 2006 24 February :: 12.43pm

There's a fire forming, not too far from here
Along the east coast maybe, it resides in you, my dear
Worn out on our courtesy, we've made our curtain calls
Like vampire bats deprived of blood, into the New York City night we crawl

:: 2006 23 February :: 10.40pm

So..... I guess I'm gonna take an anger management class. It was kind of a joke but...

Ha

Yeah who saw that one coming.

I dunooooo nevermind. *breathes*

3 comments | comment.

Brad	:: 2006 23 February :: 7.27pm :: Music: E.P. - If i can dream -.- Yay. 4 comments \| comment.