them Damn Yankees

:: 2006 23 February :: 3.21pm

COMPLETE BULLSHIT.

stinko

:: 2006 23 February :: 2.46pm

holographic puzzles are NOT as cool as they may seem. it just makes things so much harder. like you try to fit the pieces together, but you can't because everytime you turn them a little bit, the picture changes.

wtc?

shit. what's wrong with just wanting things to be a little bit more like they used to?

sugarmouse0587

:: 2006 22 February :: 11.24am

i don't know why everyone has to be so ridiculous, but they are.

on monday i had this hispanic culture midterm and i knew it was going to be hard. but not so stupid. okay. so we talked a lot about cuba and this movie we watched and i read about two million things about
puerto rico
i love lucy
the mexican revolution
the treaty of guadalupe hidalgo
the spanish american war
the cuban revolution
the bay of pigs/cuban missile crisis
dominican republic
honduras
guatamala
columbia
san salvador
hipanic television-english and spanish
hispanic politics
the rafters
the cuban adjustment act of 1966
the jones act
the foraker act
braceros
repatriation

so i had to know all this stuff. i went to every class. i participated. i read the texts. did well on the pop quizzes. everything.

did we get a study guide?

no.

did we talk about a movie that wasn't on the midterm instead of reviewing like she promised?

yes.

and you know what's on this seven question essay test?

what is a chicano?

an obscrure little detail that i vaugley remember talking about like the second day of class. and she goes on and on about how we talked about it so much and blah blah blah and its origins. and everyone's like no way, we didn't talk about it that much. even the people who knew what it was guessed.

i just don't understand how i could filter all that information when the test only had seven questions and i had no clue what they could be about.

7 comments | comment.

:: 2006 22 February :: 10.26am

funny.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 22 February :: 8.52am

monday keegan and i saw date movie. with out a doubt, that was the dumbest movie i've ever seen in my entire life. we were about ready to walk out of the theater it was so stupid. never in my life can i imagine enjoying such a tasteless classless film as this one. honestly... anyone who dares wasting their money on that movie deserves to be shot. (we used the gift certificates his mom got us for christmas therefore nobody directly spent money on it.... therefore we're safe.... lol) seriously... i just had to update to warn everyone. its not funny, its disgusting... and made me sad for the actors and their now flawed careers.

yesterday i made cupcakes for the break dancers (they have practice every tuesday, thursday and saturday) and i drew little stick figured breakdancers on them with this gel stuff. awww. i shall be known as the crew mom. *giggles because im just the cutest*

hmm.. thats all i suppose.

4 comments | comment.

:: 2006 21 February :: 10.14pm

Oh my goodness.
That was an awesome time. Went to the Grand Culinary Affair. Pretty cool. My feet ache like whoa though cause I wore stupid shoes. It was worth it. Tickets were $65 so I was happy I got to go. There was a lot of awesome food and I saw a lot of people I worked with and knew. I'm glad my aunt had a good time.
The most fun was the dart game. For $20 you get 2 throws. You aim at chef hats and then people pull cards out and the number on it corresponds to a gift. Well I didn't ever think I'd play cause it was so much, but my aunt gave me $40 to do it. So I threw and won 2 things... It was so cool. I got my knife kit for school, and normally it'd be about $250 or so...And I got a cookbook so that's pretty neat. It was a good time.

:: 2006 21 February :: 9.57pm

Yeah well once again...

ugh!

:: 2006 21 February :: 2.55pm

Standing in the hall here. haha. I so did not write my paper......
That's not good.
Tonight is the Grand Culinary Affair and I'm taking my Aunt with me. It should be pretty nice.
I ran a mile and a half today. And didn't eat anything. But I'll probably eat tonight.
Bah. I missed class last Thursday cause of the weather, now I didn't write my paper...
Well I should probably actually go do something for class.

:: 2006 21 February :: 11.09am

Please read this, anyone who cares about me:

wow. so yeah my life is pretty much completely effed up.

Okay, so I don't think I can make it in college. My dreams of being a nurse are pretty much shot. I just honestly really don't think I am capable of doing it. I'm sorry, but I don't. It sucks, but I don't. I really just think all I'm cut out to be is a mom. And I guess that's just the way it goes. School is not for me. I hate it and I'm just not all there. It's not in my heart I guess.

I honestly think once you get to be a senior or at least just a little older and you start to see the world and what a bad place it really is a little bit better, you really start to realize that what they teach you in school is almost all USELESS. I mean, yeah some of it sure is going to be relevant but a lot of it is pointless. Like, I can't BELIEVE I wasted a semester (haha, like that's a measure of time..) of my life sitting in Current Events class. I found some of my old papers from that class and seriously if I could rename that class I would name it Penmanship because that is ALL we did is copy things from written documents THAT'S ALL! It was totally and completely pointless. Also, I can't believe I sat through Foundations although when Mrs. Gallert came into the picture, she did teach what needed to be taught, but for the semester before her, it was pointless.

I just think I am going to find a school to go for Cosmetology. Yeah, it makes me sound like I'm going to be a nothing all my life, but really ... I feel like I couldn't succeed at doing anything much greater than that and I feel like WHY spend the money to go to college to just find out I can't do any of the things I wanted to. And at least cosmetology would be a steady job and I could have kids and still work part time and then go back and always do that job when my kids are in school. Really my main goal in life is to have a WONDERFUL family. Which is a good goal for me. Honestly like yeah I'm a little disapointed I won't be able to say I have a DEGREE in something, but at least I can have a wonderful family and good life. I just honestly don't think i"m capable of it.

I've come to realize something... it's extremely easy to say "I'm going to be a nurse" But to actually DO it is a totally different thing. It's hard. And although the words "I'm going to school for nursing" have came out of my mouth a million times. It's a hell of a lot easier said than done. I absolutely HATE school and I struggle too much in Chemistry and math to be able to handle it in college.

So basically- sorry mom and dad, I won't be your prodigy child, I won't be the one you're most proud of. I'll be the dud in your eyes. But in my eyes I'll have the best life out of all of them. I'll be the one who's not swimming in money, but enjoying a wonderful LOVING family. Something you never experienced and one day maybe you'll see it too, and wish you could have it.

And well just think of it this way: 3 out of 4 isn't bad.

Right?

f u ck school. It's just hard because I know I will forever be looked upon as the mess up. Whatever. I'm not going to be what YOU want me to be. Sorry.

I thought I really wanted be a nurse. But when it comes down to it, I don't even know if I would be able to stick a needle in someone. I thought it would be great to know I helped make a baby healthy enough to go home. That'd be a great feeling right? But what if something I did messed something up and KILLED that baby. What if I killed someone's baby that they had carried around for 9 months and waited and waited for the day it would be born and then 3 days later some mistake I make kills it. I just can't have that responsibility. It's way to extreme. Going into cosmetology the worst I could do is give someone a bad haircut.

I know my family will think I chose this because I'm moving in with Roman. Which, say that to yourself, does that really make any sense? Does moving in with Roman have anything to do with my choice of not becoming a nurse? Obviously not. It's not a decision he can make for me. And it's not affected by him. It's me. One thing might have changed my decision though. I would have at least wanted to TRY it IF my parents would pay for my college. But since I have to pay for it on my own, why would I want to take the chance to waste my money. Like, part of me still would like to go to college and maybe find a different profession that would be good for me, but it's like... why not just do this cosmetology thing so I don't have to spend money on finding out that I don't want to do nursing or whatever else.

I don't know.... MAYBE there could be something besides nursing where I don't have someone's life in my hands. But honestly I don't think there is anything I would enjoy. And I wouldn't want to go to college. I honestly just don't think I have what it takes. I can see the foreshadow already. My grades are going to s hit . And I just don't care anymore.

Oh also, how can something so "IMPORTANT" as the ACT's be messed up? On my score sheet it was correct, but I guess when they sent it to the school it now says my math score is a 31 (hahaha, impossible!) and my reading - an 18. Those should be reversed. But with this simple mistake, I could get into a higher math class or whatever or have to take a simple english class. Ugh it's just so dumb.

So good. And that's all.

P.S. I wanted people to read this, especially if they are in college.... I guess to give an opinion. Maybe a suggestion of what I could do instead of nursing. but not for just an encourgement of saying "YES YOU CAN" because I dont want to hear it because honestly, how would you know if I can or not? You dont' know. I think I know myself better than anyone else does. So I guess... opinions please but no praises.

4 comments | comment.

:: 2006 20 February :: 10.36pm

FUCK YOU ALL

and i can't wait to fucking be the one

and in 3 months i can't wait to never have to be around you fuckers.

:: 2006 20 February :: 12.57pm
:: Music: The Shins

It was a really great weekend. And beautiful.Just really reminds me of why we're together.
I love him.

Sometimes it's just really nice. You have to remember the beauty in things.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 20 February :: 1.08pm

i should get around and take a shower. i stayed at keegans last night.. now hes at work. he stayed at my house friday. basically this has just been an us weekend.. which is noneless than wonderful.

yesterday was another rampage game. no need to update about what an incredible amazing FANTASTIC boyfriend i have... i think everyone knows that. (really.. though, mines the best.... :)

we got lucky at my house, we only lost power for like 3 hours on thursday or whenever the storm hit, and then saturday morning we lost it for about 4 hours... but other than that... i've been warm, toasty, and using electronics over here.... hate me if you must. *smiles*

my moms boyfriend/friend/whatever he is is leaving today to fly back to conneticut... (thats where he lives) im sad hes leaving... but a little releived. why.. im not sure. probably because he's been over at our house like every day.

i dont think my hair is brown enough now. perhaps i'll get it dyed next time instead of putting alot of lowlights in. or perhaps i'll go back to being blonde. ehh... who knows.

the whole house is clean... and i made french toast when i got home today. how keegan can not like french toast is beyond me. loser.

its so nice not having to tan anymore. i hate tanning.. its so incredibly bad for your skin. the only time i EVER want to tan is for dances and my wedding.. lol. and seems how i only plan on getting married once and only have prom left.... my skin will stay youthfull and magnificant. so HA all you crispy skinned tan-o-holics.

i really dont have a single other thing to say now.

wooo school tomorrow. wooo 2 impossible deadlines to meet on friday.

this week WILL suck hardcore.

stinko

:: 2006 19 February :: 9.43pm

this weekend i slacked off again with school.
i don't even care.
i freakin want summer. even though that means precalc.

but the trees look sweet.
it's like living in a snow globe.

:: 2006 18 February :: 10.19pm

Who knew life could throw so many pitchforks at your ass.

And then it laughs and laughs and laughs as it watches you rub your ass and cry.

Life's a muthafuckin bitch.

:: 2006 18 February :: 10.13pm

I HATE MYSELF! AGAIN!

AND I HATE YOU TOO!

ALL OF YOU.

3 comments | comment.

:: 2006 16 February :: 7.17pm
:: Music: Vermilion, Pt. 2

I won't let this build up inside of me...
Ahhhhh our power is out!
I have like, 7 candles lit in my room. Our house will probably catch fire...
...
I hate this crap.

:: 2006 16 February :: 3.48pm

So spill my blood.
Midnight skies turned scarlet red.
I told you I was really sick. Then you don't call or anything.
At least I have someone who cares.
I feel like falling off the face of the earth again to you. At least for a day or so.

Whatever. That whole entry probably didn't make sense!

brad

:: 2006 16 February :: 1.19pm
:: Mood: renewed
:: Music: Elvis - Gospel

"There's a heaven somewhere"
(So Valentines Day was completely unexpected. It was very nice for a change. I have no regrets. And I'm very happy to see a change in the writings I read.)

So things are good now, i'm happy. Work is fine, although we're moving the store which is going to suck, mainly because it's going to be moved into a tiny little store a forth the size of what we have now. Oh well.

I learned a few new songs on my guitar, one being a song that two lovers once shared, an Elvis song.

Must go and get ready for work, later.

Bradley

(I miss you)

:: 2006 16 February :: 1.05pm

Oooooh. I think I heard thunder.

Yeah. I'm not going to class today. I'd probably get stuck in GR when the storm hit.

:: 2006 16 February :: 10.21am

So right now I pretty much hate anyone who lives within any reasonable distance to their significant other. So that would be like everyone except Justine.

K, try living 2 hours from your best friend and the person you need to be there for you the most and the person who lifts you up when you are down and makes you smile and makes you feel good and listens to you and cares about you.

Try going 3 weeks without seeing that person's smile.

I hate any of you who ever take it for granted.

I would give anything for Roman to live 40 minutes away from me again.

GUASDKLGAJSGKLSDJGLKSJGLGK i hate money!

okay and why in the heck do you peole say i'm "violent"? I'm not violent, I don't physically hurt people. ;askldfj

:: 2006 15 February :: 10.28pm

I've never been so tired in my life.

:: 2006 15 February :: 10.06pm

I don't know where to begin.
It's just sad.
People get replaced so fast.
A vendor my dad worked with, a really nice guy, was trying to plan a meeting for them to work out some stuff.
Thursday my dad calls saying he's kind of busy and if they can reschedule it for Friday.
Friday the guy calls saying he's not feeling too good maybe Monday.

Then he dies.

They buried him today.
My dad really didn't want to have to call the company, but they said they'd get someone to fix things.
Someone called 20 minutes later to take the other's place.
My dad felt really weird about deleting the guy's number out of his phone.

I would feel weird, too.
Everyone just gets replaced so fast.

I haven't felt very well today.

:: 2006 15 February :: 8.04pm

okay i dont know how to make it a link but PLEASE do this.

please :0(

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Jessica Michele

and this!!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Jessica Michele

:: 2006 15 February :: 10.54am

uggggggggggggggggggggggh you annnnnnoyyyy meeee sooooo mucccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

shut uppppppppppppp and stoppppppppppp braaaaaaaaaaggggggggiiiiiiiinggggggggg

. Perhaps, though, I'm just a little mad at the world.

oh and i'm not going to prom. Just so you know. And by you I don't know who I mean.
I miss Roman, as per usual.

4 comments | comment.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 15 February :: 8.56am

Swirl was wonderful.... except for the whole music part. pshh.. who needs music right? I'm sorry, but if you go to a dance, expect to hear hip hop music, because you really cant dance to much else. a few here in there is fine... but when the majority of the dance is comprised of rock songs, it kind of ruins it. we were really dissapointed when we left. the decorating was sensational though. it was absolutely gorgeous!

before swirl i suprised keegan... finally i SUPRISED the man. (man... hmmm sounds so.. weird...) i told him we were going out for dinner, but i actually had my room all set up with candles and roses and chocolate covered strawberries. i set up a table in the middle of my room with a red table cloth and confetti and "sparkling grapejuice" and wine glasses (because we're cute and LEGAL like that) and i had the note book playing with no sound on my computer just for an added affect. it turned out wonderful. it was the best dinner we've ever had together as far as "romantic" goes. after the dance we came back to my house and fell asleep.... we had to get up early for the rampage game.

then on sunday keegan brought me to bobbys around like 10 (he had to be to the arena WAY early) where i went back to sleep (what a gentleman.... sleeping on the floor so i could have the bed) BUT i couldnt fall asleep because i was to "awake" by that point.. but bobby wouldnt wake up.. so i had a lot of down time. which was nice.

the game was awesome. we had really good seats (free seats i might add) the routine was even BETTER this week. and once again... i have the coolest boyfriend in the entire world. not to mention like a zillion other adjectives that would HARDLY even do him justice.

now... Valentines Day.

first of all, Stacy.... I could just DIE im so happy right now. I just want to squeeze you and hug you and be all giddy and jump up and down and rent laguna. but i'll refrain.

last night was so wonderful. i went home and took a shower, then keegan came over and whisked me away. (giggles... OH and while i was at school i walked into my senate office second hour and there was a flower arrangement with tulips and roses... my favorites.... from the flower pace and chocolates... i was so suprised. i didnt think we were getting eachother anything for valentines day.. then he goes and does that. how sweeet. i was shocked when i walked in there.. it took me a minute for it to click that he had brought me flowers.) we went to this restaurant in Grandville called Kobe, its an Ichibon restaurant where they cook your food right at your table.

when we got there we had to wait like 20 minutes so we ordered sushi.. and OMG it was the best sushi i've ever had. we've had the same kind (philadelphia roll... which has samon, avacodo, creme cheese.. and then of course in a hand roll, rolled in rice... for all you "eewww raw fish" people out there) at terriyaki and sushi.. and this stuff just blew it away! so then we get seated, and you sit around a grill with nine people and he comes out and cooks all your meals RIGHT there. its so cool. he lit the grill on fire to make it hot and it just exploded up into the air.. he cracked the eggs in the coolest way (which sounds nerdy.. but for real), he made a volcano with a pile of onions.. it was just incredible. and holllly cow i've never had food that tasted better in my LIFE. i like fried rice more than white rice.. the guy takes white rice and makes it INTO fried rice right in front of you. it was awesome. you REALLY have to go there and see for yourself. i warn you however, its really expensive... but WELL worth it.

so that was our valentines day.. we were gonna go to Cold Stone.. but they had already closed. nothing big, nothing spectacular.. just us being us.

*smiles... i am by far the luckiest girl in the world. i have keegan.... and nobody else can say that except for me. sure we argue and sure there are times we drive eachother crazy.. but there has NEVER been a time that we even considered breaking up. we're stronger than that. we bring out the absolute best in eachother.

:) you're the greatest.

:: 2006 14 February :: 9.42pm

UGH i swear . are you the only one now!?!? you are!

:: 2006 14 February :: 8.46pm

Turn out the lights. My life, on standby. :-(

This weekend was different. Saturday Charlie and I drove all the way up to Gaylord to go to this restaurant called Legends on the Hill. It's at Treetops resort. Three hours away. It's where I wanted to go for New Years but we couldn't. He said he never forgot. And that felt really nice. When we got there it was totally different than we expected. Freezer paper tablecloths, the works. I just laughed. I don't think we needed a bigger sign that said "We're not from around here". But I laughed. The ride was nice. The talking. The silence. The laughing. Everything. All the gas stations we had to stop at so I could pee. Haha. It's a beautiful relaxing town that looks like Switzerland. I asked him to pull over on the way back so I could give him a ring that I'd gotten him.

Monday I spent the night there and waited up for him to get home from work. I stopped The Big Lebowski and jumped out of bed to greet him at the door with a hug. But he was upset and held on tight.

His mom has cancer.

But I have this feeling and I can't explain it. I've been praying so much for her to get better. I just have this feeling like it's not her time yet. How could I know such a thing? When I told him "It's going to be okay." He asked "How do you know?" And I had no idea. I just feel like how could God take such a wonderful person away like that. Maybe it just doesn't feel real. She has so many people who love her. And a new grand-daughter. She feels that our lives are pre-destined so she doesn't want to get treatment. I don't know. But I feel like she's going to be okay. I hope so. :-(

5 comments | comment.

:: 2006 14 February :: 8.20pm
:: Music: HH- Life On Standby

I need you now, more like yesterday, the last day I could see you smile.
It's felt more real than ever before.
Waiting. Waiting.
Till I could hold you.
I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all away.
I just know
It's going to be okay.
There's too much sadness.
It's going to be okay.

danibean

:: 2006 14 February :: 6.04pm
:: Mood: loved

happy valentines day everyone! i know it's been forever since i've posted but i wanted to let you all know that i love you! muah muah muah!! kisses for everyone!!

5 comments | comment.

stinko

:: 2006 13 February :: 11.02pm

well . . . i played scrabble this weekend like i planned.
but i was pretty much only into it for like the first half.
robby kept cheating. but i had a dictionary at my disposal.
so it was all good.
i still am not sure if i am sane, this weekend did absolutely nothing to get me closer to the truth. blah.
blah.
school sucks.

i need a vacation away from everything i know.