them Damn Yankees

:: 2006 4 January :: 11.03pm

okay well that was funny but not really. jess come on. funny but not when you change every single when i had that whole quote copied from a movie and sat there and wrote every word from it and then you just erased it all and i had other shit listed to so i duno i'm just kinda pissed especially when you know i've had a horrible day. it was funny when i saw you changed the picture but ithink you went to far .... cuz now all that info is just lost and i relaly dont feel like typing it again. al;ksdjfl;asdkfjasdl;fjksdl;fjl;kdj;asjkdf whatever

:: 2006 4 January :: 10.57pm
:: Music: Far- In Two Again

OHHHHHHH

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

I had a bad feeling at first, but we talked and hugged and kissed and everything was always fine.
Char and I went skateboarding at the park today. It was SUPER fun. I fell a couple times. hahaha. I landed on my whole left side. lol.
Then we just had a lot of fun today. I love him.
So much.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to Seoul Garden w/my Aunt Linda then pick up my check at work then Charlie's. But the weather...ugh.
It HAD to snow again.

2 comments | comment.

:: 2006 3 January :: 10.23pm

we fit so fucking good together nothing could compare and no one will ever take his place in my heart, in my life, ever... and i swear i'm not giving up.

but i do know that these next few months are gonna be total hell. or very close to it. but all for a wonderful pay off after that.

love you babe

:: 2006 3 January :: 5.34pm

okay..

I love roman. And it seems like every week there are obstacles thrown at us left and right. Like everyone except God is wanting us to give up.

But ya know what we say? We say fuck you! And we're never giving up.

It's gonna be a challenge but it's gonna be so worth it. And I can't wait for a few more months. So excited.

And now: I am going to go celebrate Stef and Paul's Engaaaagement.

P.S. (I love Roman)

8 comments | comment.

:: 2006 2 January :: 8.17pm

i went shopping at rivertown and got tons of stuff and great deals and now i'm eating chocolate although i lost a few pounds over break so yay and i love roman and he loves me and he's the greatest boyfriend i could ever have ..... what more could ya ask for?

for now anyway. heh

:: 2006 2 January :: 11.50am

:0(

but not really.

:: 2006 1 January :: 11.14pm

blah blah blah
got some news
blah blah blah

brokenmentality

:: 2006 1 January :: 9.19pm

so i think i've decided that im gonna go on doing pageants. i think i have the right kind of personality, and if you do those things right the scholarships you get are amazing. i could PAY my way through college and be making a difference at the same time. if i really set my mind to it... i dont think i'll win all of them.. but i definatly think i could get down to the last 10 or so... and either way.. i know from experience that the pageant process itself is an amazing experience. plus i have a pretty impressive resume for one. i decided this while i took a bath tonight.... honestly.. a candle lit bubble bath is where you come up with and figure out the BEST things. plus my mom has a skylight.. and nothing is more relazing than listening to a gentle rain.

im scared about high school ending.. ANXIOUS but scared.... and for the first time in my life i have a plan. its so reassuring to know where i want to go with my life. and if i change my mind about this whole interior design thing.... at least i'll have a great side hobby to fall back on later in life! we went to schulers today and i found this book that was just amazing. it was 40 dollars.. but covered every (well im sure not EVERY) aspect of interior design.. even down to tips on creating your sample board. i think im gonna get it tomorrow. and when im done with this entry im gonna look at different colleges and their design programs.

its just so exciting to have an outline for my life. i've never had that before. i've never been sure about something so HUGE. im extremely indecisive. VENDING machines are a hassel for me! wayyy to many options! so when it comes to my life, and where im going to be in the future... you cant even imagine how confused i get. i havent ever delt with the whole "future" issue before. i just kind of made it through school.. and here i find myself at the end, and i was about ready to break. what kind of 17 year old doesnt have a career picked out? well i'll tell ya from experience.... a very normal one! i now know that im just lucky that i've chosen a career... because you cant just do that overnight. i dont think we should be rushed into deciding the rest of our lives! and i was feeling really down because i thought EVERY one had it figured out except for me. that is NOT the case. design is a passion that i've been practicing for years... and i didnt even know it! my room has always been a haven for me.. and a reflexion of my style. when we lived with brandi i was going crazy because i didnt have a space of my own. it sucked! i need that one place that just screams ME everywhere ya know? i'm very big on personal style.. and even though yes, i do wear abercrombie sometimes... i like to think i have my own style. its the little things that make me unique. i just love fasion and i think you're home should be a reflexion of everything that makes you feel like YOU. ughh.. im just SO excited!

*smiles really big......

with all these "plans" or whatever.. i've realized that in order to stay confident and focused i HAVE to get in shape. im not toooo far from it.. but far enough. i need to have alot of energy. i have a good head on my shoulders... and like i said in my last entry... i dont have any type of negative thing affecting me. that means i have no excuse not to suceed. i just have stay in shape and be on my toes. i am SO ready to embrace life. i wasnt put here to sit in cedar springs the rest of my life. and yeah.. everyone "hates" Cedar and wants to get out... but ya know what.. this is my home. and has always been my home. even though i know that there are bigger things out there... i know that in littler nowheresville michigan.. theres a small town that holds all my memories and the foundation for the rest of my life! i dont think you're SUPPOSED to want to stay in your hometown for the rest of your life! and lets face it... Cedar Springs is all over the united states. there are towns just like ours in every single 20 mile radius of every state... just a few different variations.. and some BIG cities like new york. dont be naive and think that this is the only small "hick" town around! this is our starting place.... not ending! be thankful for that! whether you want to admit it or not... this town has helped make us who we are. if we lived in LA we'd all have much different ambitions.

im just so content with my life right now.... and its so wonderful to feel this good!

1 comment | comment.

:: 2006 1 January :: 5.22pm

Hmm...Where was I last New Year's Eve?
Working at Latitudes, ducking from crazy drunks in the bar.
Hanging out w/Charlie, at the hotel. Eating ice cream.
hahaha.
Getting a new job! That was 3 jobs ago!!!! Holy crap.
It's gonna be a good year. I can feel lots of changes. Ah it's great!
I miss Applause right now, I kind of want to work. Is that sad?

"You make my heart feel really good!" <3 <3 haha

:: 2006 1 January :: 2.34pm

oh... happy new years.
oh baby
last night was awesome.

:: 2005 31 December :: 8.53pm

ugh stupid stupid stupid i am in`a hotel with my famikly on fricken new years eve

alkdsfja;lskdfdum!!!dubm dumb.. !

:: 2005 30 December :: 9.38pm

fuck me in the ass , tie me to a truck and drag me until my flesh falls off my face, and then shove me in an old abandoned well

and then fucking tell me if i was the last person on earth not completely fake and one hundered percent unreal.

god you either do or you dont

i swear i'm gonna fucking shoot myself.
god you people are stupid.

2 comments | comment.

:: 2005 30 December :: 7.38pm

why are you such a jerk to me:?

i am tina and you are adrian and it will never change. and you are a jerk to me.

and you guys just dont understand

is what i'll say
fuck you adrian . fuck you.

:: 2005 30 December :: 2.09pm

We were talking wedding ideas. YAY. It's just a grand feeling. My mom is excited. We were talking about her wedding and stuff and what we're going to do in Char's and mine. We have to reserve the place of the reception in a few months, and we don't even know where it's going to be! haha.
In other news, dad and mum went to look at the new corvette z-06 today! Ours is coming in a couple months. Canary yellow! Woohhhh!
It's got a display that shows up on the windshield that shows your speed and how many g's you pulled. And a navigation screen, bose system, and dvd player. We don't need a dvd player though...that's stupid. I'm excited!

:: 2005 30 December :: 12.34pm

do you ever get that feeling where you KNOW you have to take a shower and do your hair and put fricken makeup all over your stupid face and change you clothes but you can't get over the thought:

'What the hell for?'

soooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid

3 comments | comment.

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 29 December :: 6.04pm

ha hahahahahahhahahhahhahahahahaha.

*glowing. lala la la allalalalalal

3 comments | comment.

lilschaub

:: 2005 29 December :: 4.37pm
:: Mood: lazy

http://www.hartgems.com/proddetail.asp?prod=71%2D0119

If anyone cares thats the promise ring Nathan gave me for christmas!! Its so pretty. I love it and I love him. I am having a great christmas break but I just dont want to go back. But if you think about it its just about 4 months and then I am out of here. Which is the best thing ever. I am so excited for college. I am just glad that I found Baker its just so perfect for me and its going to be great because nate will be there with me. Well everyone have a good and safe new year!!

4 comments | comment.

:: 2005 29 December :: 4.39pm

so how bout that jessica hazen

what a doll huh?!!?!?!?!? i love her!

1 comment | comment.

:: 2005 29 December :: 4.19pm

I feel so incredible. I feel so relieved!

HALLELUJIA !!! or however you spell that. Thank God, maybe I was wrong. You're right. Aren't you always though?

i feel so good. i couldn't sleep at ALL last night because i was worrying about my future. I hadn't let it bug me that much in a long time and now this solution is at my fingertips. I think i'm really going to go for it. I know some of it might sound like a long shot.... but i reallky think it will work. On top of that, i think it will be a good experience for me. It will. God, i am so happy.

i finally have decided where i'm going to go and what i'm going to do.

now just cross your fingers for me that it all works out.

God Bless You

:: 2005 28 December :: 8.21pm

Chillin' w/my boyyyyyyy. haha
I love Charlie
<3 hehe
I love CHARLIEEEEEE
<3 hehe
maybe i just wrote a song...
HEHE

:: 2005 28 December :: 8.21pm

Sararrrrr this is for you!

Your French Name is:

Agn�s Vaillant

What's Your French Name?

:: 2005 27 December :: 10.49pm

i was loooking at these pictures from last year and i was just even more fully convinced about how i gained weight. i mean, i know i did. a scale doesn't lie right... but oh my gawd. i'm hidious how the hell do you spell that

i swear if i'm away from roman all i feel is fat and ugly

and well other than that..
i wanna go barf.

tootaloo

wait no, i must add more. I know some of you self centered biatches just read that post and were like "score. one more hoe out of the way" or something liek that... i think there are some PEOPLE who get kicks out of when their friends get big ol zits on the ends of their nose or gain 10 pounds for example. .... or wear an ugly shirt.... or have a bad hair day. there are some PEOPLE who just enjoy the fact that they know they look better than their "friend" on that particular day.
it's a constant obscene and fucked up battle for some PEOPLE.

wow.

some people huh?

I hope at least one person understands that. maybe even the person it is semi-directed to out of pure angst and a little bit of self-pity.

6 comments | comment.

:: 2005 26 December :: 11.31pm

okay. so here it is plain and simple. I'm not feeling very well. And would you like to know something? You're not making me feel any better. would you like to know something more?

I obviously am a big complaining bitch. Obligations and responsibilities I know, but wah wah wah I want to be first and I'm a big fat bitch.

I am sad and yeah I pretty much totally would like to cry now. I feel just forgotten. And I'll never understand why it's so easy for you.

and why it's so extremely difficult for me..........

:: 2005 26 December :: 11.29pm

maybe i'm just not good enough. until later

:: 2005 25 December :: 7.05pm

((10-1))
TEN FIRSTS
First Best Friend: my first and my last! Jessica Lynn SlutMchazen
First Screen Name: jessalyn62
First Pet: Rhea dog ollie and cat bea
First Piercing: ears in 1st grade
First Crush: nick wiebenga like kindergarten
First CD: googoo dolls
First Word: fuck lol no just kidding. i sasked my mom and she doesn 't even remember. wow what love.
First Real Love: Although i thought it was Kevin ;0) lol . it was definetely roman.
First Stuffed Animal: i duno. a lamb thing

NINE LASTS
Last Alcoholic Beverage: The Cap'n .... lol i am so gay
Car Ride: Back from a movie just now
Last Movie Seen: the family stone.... weird. and GAWD sarah jessica parker is ugly and has an annoying name.
Last Phone Call: jess/kevin
Last CD Played: a mix of kanye and michael buble and my humps remix and shit
Last Bubble Bath: too long ago. maybe i'll take one tonight
Last Time You Cried: kind of last night but only for like a minute. other than that it would be thursday

EIGHT 'HAVE YOU EVER...'S
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: well, besides Jess... it would be that roman became my best friend after we're together. other than that no i guess
Have you ever been arrested: No thank god
Have you ever skinny dipped: no
Have you ever been on TV: um kinda
Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it: yeah lol sickoooo
Have you ever cheated: no
Have you ever spent more than 5 hours online: Probably
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep: Yup. unfortuantely

SEVEN THINGS YOU'RE WEARING
1. ferris shirt from roman yay
2. pannnnties
3. Jeans
4. bra
5. that's it! oh makeup
6. ring
7. Earring in cartilage

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. slept like forever
2. been bored on effing christmas
3. Been online
4. missed roman
5. talked to jess
6. absolutely nothing on christmas :0(

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. roman
2. jessie hazen
3. sleeping
4. being in love
5. being careless or worryless

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL [ALMOST] ANYTHING TO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. roman
2. jess
3. stef
4. justin i guess

THREE THINGS YOU HOPE TO HAVE IN THE FUTURE
1. marriage
2. a career as a successful nurse
3. babies!

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. lose these nasty ass thighs.
2. travel everywhere with roman. everywhere! lol.

ONE SECRET
1. I am a messed up motha

3 comments | comment.

:: 2005 25 December :: 12.53pm

absolute shitness. it is christmas and we are just sitting here. i slept in till eleven... found out my sister's getting married (yay stef and paul make lots of cute babies) and went to the bathroom.... then i talked to stef then i put some makeup on then i talked to jess

and thus has been my christmas. i am so sad and i will never go on vacation ever again during christmas because at least i will have some control. i can't believe my parents actualy made us come down here. but oh well thats how our fam... wait.... famil...no fa..fa... group of people who live together works i guess.

fuck the po lice

and call my cell phone because i am bored and have nothing to do at all whatsoever. cry cry cry is all i want to do.

i love my babbbbby roman and i hate brandon

fuck htis

i cant wait for the day i have a real family and a real christmas. this will happen in less than 10 years. hoorah.

1 comment | comment.

:: 2005 24 December :: 1.05am

I am so tired. Tonight we had an in-house wedding, 325 people. Then I got to see Charlie <3 That made my day. Oooo Almost Christmas!

:: 2005 22 December :: 10.46pm

wellll good. looks like am the big ol loser and well fuck me in the ass god leave me thefuck alone i seriously am not going to be able to take this "vacation" or so it's called. vacation my ass. more like hell on a stick served with sweet and sour sauce.

which i hate.

ugh.

i love roman and that's about it. whats new huh.

brokenmentality

:: 2005 22 December :: 12.58am

this is now friends only.

8 comments | comment.