blondie17
|
::
2004 20 October :: 7.52am
i was right. i like how i havent been surprised by this person. he didnt show. or call, or answer phone calls. way to make someone feel worth it....i need to find someone who likes me as much as i like them. too bad im so upsessed with someone even though they insist on ripping my heart out and stomping on it.
1 comment |
feedback
|
holiday
|
::
2004 19 October :: 10.32pm
"I wish now, let me tell you something... There's thousands and thousands of people here today, there's like semis and buses and multiple vans and all kinds of shit. I wish now I would have taken bass lessons. Sorry, Sorry. I'm thinking about asking for them for Christmas."
5 comments |
feedback
|
|
holiday
|
::
2004 19 October :: 10.30pm
:: Music: Rise Against- No Transitory
Listen to this song and then listen to Social D's "Reach For The Sky"
haha
"There's always tomorrow"
"Tomorrow may never come"
They just played one after the other so it was funny. Yeah, I'm really tired.
Ryan G is a funny kid. So is Dustin. So is Spud. So is Katie. So is Ryan's doggy, eh hem...
feedback
|
stinko
|
::
2004 19 October :: 8.43am
one week down
three to go
the day i am free, i am going to sing and dance.
perhaps i will even do a jig.
probably will. wont take much convincing either.
9 comments |
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2004 19 October :: 8.00am
so yesterday i swallowed hard, and then i dialed his number. it was the wrong number. whoops. then i tried again. he picked up. we talked about him and his band. the band camilla wants him to be their lead singer. wow. i asked him if he wanted to come over tomorrow and watch a movie....breathing stops in anticipation....he says yeah maybe ill swing by....but i work until 7. so i said id call him around 7.
i am so nervous i feel like throughing up. the funny thing in this is the fact that he probably wont even come. or answer his phone. so luckly at least ill get a clean house out of this and a nce clean bedroom with no more dirty clothes.
wish me luck.
3 comments |
feedback
|
spud
|
::
2004 18 October :: 7.05pm
:: Mood: sedate
Free Cell
still wanna buy that car.
still know i'm not going to.
still have to do all those college applications waiting for me upstairs.
still numb from this afternoon.
it's a good numb.
like phil said, "mellow."
5 comments |
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2004 18 October :: 8.30am
so i was at work yesterday, and weston came in (with his nephew, who happens to be the same age). anyways they came ina nd rented a movie. i dont understand myself. the only way to describe it is by writing the poem i wrote when i was uncontrolebly crying when he left. and luckly there was no one in the store.
the jump in my stomach
the ache of butterflies
from just a simple view of you
its pain but beauty to my eyes
i cant believe you came here
im unshowered and unclean
your laughing when you walk out
does it have to do with me?
my stomache really hurts now
it wont seem to go away
i hate you seeing me
when im not all done up, or any natural way
although i cant wait to see you again.
my hands are really shaking
my heart is skipping beats
i cant help any customers
with you their watching me
cant hold back the store is empty and all i do is cry
i wish i wouldnt have seen you now
i cant understand why
why do i do this. i hate my life
i want to get out of here
go far away,
so i can just forget you
problem is i can't stay,
away long enough, im obsessed
i wish i never met you
im admitting im depressed
that was a stupid sappy poem i wrote while balling my eyes out. i dont understand. i feel sick right now writing about it. in fact my eyes are tearing even just thinking about it. i dont know what to do....i want to disappear. I WANT TO DISAPPEAR! have you ever just wanted to get in a car accident, so you could get a way a while? go unconscious? or even to do it to see if you would get anyu attention then from that personn you would pretty much do anything to have. dont think im suicidal for saying these things...there just thoughts. too bad im to weak and scared to actually try them. i guess i could be saying if i did get in an accident, i wouldnt be dissapointed. i ahte myself right now. no one understands. they cant even begin to imagine how i feel.
1 comment |
feedback
|
|
holiday
|
::
2004 17 October :: 5.56pm
:: Music: Social D- Footprints On My Ceiling
How do you talk without speaking?
How do you hear without listening?
How do you live without feeling?
How do you take without giving?
How do you keep it all inside?
feedback
|
|
holiday
|
::
2004 17 October :: 5.53pm
:: Music: Social D
Got the new cd today.
There's a sense of peace in your eyes. The kind of peace that brings tears to mine. I could look at you forever.
feedback
|
sputnik
|
::
2004 15 October :: 10.12pm
Ahhhh.... A whole day with David ahead and no dumb stupid family. Sweetest day tomorrow? That's what they tell me.
Wrong Turn is suppose to be good? I guess we'll see soon.
Anyways, no more marching forever and a day. And ... and!.... I get to play my Barry in a quartet for the intermission for the play and for a small Christmas Concert treat. I really like this Hubert thing. He's a beast!!
(Hubert=Barry Sax for those who can't follow.)
Anyways, I need my rest. Long day ahead tomorrow. wink*
3 comments |
feedback
|
|
holiday
|
::
2004 15 October :: 12.00pm
Last night was my first night at work. And I liked it. A lot. I have a friend named Hillary. And it's weird.
I'm really looking forward to this weekend. I love the rain. Love is great.
2 comments |
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2004 15 October :: 8.22am
so tonight i dont have any clue how it is going to turn out. i dont really know whats going on anymore. i dont even know AHHHh! um...i work till nine oclock tonight then i go home....hm...take a shower! oh yeah i got so excited when weston called me back. im hoping i see him this weekend. (this is the guy that i keep getting hurt by, that im in love with)
1 comment |
feedback
|
|
sputnik
|
::
2004 14 October :: 1.11pm
True Story
I'm not gonna lie- I had a little corn last night. You got a little somethin' right... there. Okay we're good.
True Story.
(Dangle Dangle)
1 comment |
feedback
|
|
holiday
|
::
2004 14 October :: 12.55pm
whoo. I have my job training for 2 hours tonight. And I start JA stuff. And I tried to donate blood today but I have a cold and that makes me sad. :-( Eh. Okay schools almost done
1 comment |
feedback
|
|
sputnik
|
::
2004 13 October :: 12.55pm
So cuddling sets a bad example for the little one's. Since when?
Brothers who spy should be shot and burned.
I think I'm gonna like this 3 day weekend.
Hope everyone has fun at homecoming!
And for those of you who are grounded. Boy does that suck. Too bad.
Not really.
5 comments |
feedback
|
|
stinko
|
::
2004 13 October :: 12.18pm
you know what tonight means?
waking up andrew jacksons spirit
again.
damn you becca
4 comments |
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2004 13 October :: 9.02am
did you ever notice my middle name could twinkle>?
i love the littles.
awee!!!
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2004 13 October :: 9.01am
blah!!!!!i love sleep! too bad i never get any! jess ill adopt you!!!i have more rooms!!!
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2004 13 October :: 8.17am
well this is gonna suck cause now people know about the party that i dont like. garsh
feedback
|
|
sputnik
|
::
2004 12 October :: 12.59pm
BRIANNA
Hey these entries are for us to correspond with eachother via internet. Write something interesting. I dressed up as Jack Sparrow again today and I am better than last time. More beads and such. Yeah- you?
4 comments |
feedback
|
|
sputnik
|
::
2004 12 October :: 12.48pm
:: Mood: indescribable
Orientation Last night was pretty good but it kind of was boring. What am I talking about... IT Was Boring!!! But I got to see David after. That's the only highlight of my night.
Wow am I the luckiest girl in the world or what? So I was sitting there last night just laying there with him watching Anger Management. It was just so nice. My parents and siblings love him and Brianna, you gotta meet him. He just, gosh, makes me so happy and I just have such a massive crush on him. We so just get eachother and I've mentioned that so many times before but there it is again.
Awww... finally- bliss!
I haven't felt like this for a while!
7 comments |
feedback
|
onceagainistandalone
|
::
2004 12 October :: 12.22pm
i'm really sorry i can't be there for you all the time
but when i start hating everything about everything and i see images of just destruction and death in my head..
..i think its time to take a little break from everyone.
as much as i'd rather not, sometimes i just have to think of myself first so that i don't go fucking crazy.
1 comment |
feedback
|
|
stinko
|
::
2004 12 October :: 9.18am
fuck
i think that divorcing my mom is the only way out of this.
if you think your parents would like to adopt a girl around the age of 17, please let me know. . .
10 comments |
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2004 12 October :: 8.55am
yay!!!
feedback
|
|
blondie17
|
::
2004 12 October :: 8.35am
jessi or rebecca or hilary!!!!!!!!!!!!!what are you guys doing on thursday? cause i want someone to go with me to see westons band. i have to know ahead of time though so we can get on the list. um.....jessica this would be great for you cause you can help with my speech and probably talk a little on your own about girls state. but anyone should come with me! ill talk to you soon i hope
3 comments |
feedback
|
|
