cherrytwiggy's Journal

cherrytwiggy's Journal

:: 2008 24 December :: 11.16am

This is Mike's puppy: Tank

This is my kitty: Titty

So yesterday started off to be a bad day.
Dog got into the trash, and made messes on the floor.
But I got 75 dollars from work!
And then I waited around at my dads with my brother for my check..
Oh, and then I got stuck in the snow trying to turn around to go get my check.
So I waited for my daddy and my brother to come get me unstuck.
Quite the eventful day.

Now it is christmas eve, and I have to wrap presents, bake brownies for my dad and brother for getting me unstuck yesterday.. and then make my way to belding, and then to go up to black lake to have christmas with mike's daughter and whatnot..

Yay!

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rayray

:: 2008 21 December :: 10.24am

This snow shit, can go away at any time.
Oh, and Im getting a doggie..

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rayray

:: 2008 17 December :: 5.52pm
:: Music: Sorry - Buckcherry

Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die

I have watched him suffer through the death of a friend..
And exactly a month later, for the course of about a month I watched him suffer the pain of watching his mother suffer until she passed away.
I have seen him at his weakest moments, and his strongest moments and the moments in between when he was lost in his own body.
I have helped him mend the pieces of a broken heart that I caused.
I have fought with him over serious things, and stupid things.
I've seen the fury in his eyes and the anger eat at him like a bacteria.
I've felt the distance grow and then be wiped away.
I've felt the butterflies day after day after day for over three years.
He's helped me through my roughest moments.
Wiped away a million undeserved tears.
Helped me mourn the loss of two friends.
Brought me chocolate shakes when I'm sick.
Let me get a cat even though he's allergic.
Let me keep the cat even though she's had an accident or two in the chair.
Let me fall asleep in his arms and wake up in his arms.
Our love is thicker than molasses.

I could go on and on describing our relationship, and its imperfections but it would take me days, and I would end up over analyzing everything to the point where I was stir-crazy, so I won't.

Christmas makes me cherish the ones I love. Makes me think about what I have, what I've lost, and what I could have.

This time of year makes me emotional.
November 21st this year was 7 years since my grandpa passed away.
December 23rd this year will be 4 years since my grandma passed away.

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rayray

:: 2008 15 December :: 7.43pm

Things have been pretty crazy lately, and are finally starting to calm down.
We have the house to ourselves.
Haven't lived by ourselves since August.
Im signed up for spring classes.
Hopefully the funding goes through.
I started talking to Tara a lot more latley, and it makes me miss the past.
When I lived a more adventurous life.
When nothing mattered but having fun.
I don't do spontaneous things anymore.
And I should.
I need to, but I really don't have anyone to do them with because I have distanced myself so much from everyone.
Put miles between us.
I really miss hanging out with friends.
Not that I don't love hanging out with Mike, but ya know..

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chelthesmell

:: 2008 11 December :: 9.46pm
:: Mood: Fuck it...

I'm done!
I dont see how something can go from being about David and Mindy and turn into me showing my 'true colors' and apparently being the biggest bitch in the world and losing friends. I just have one thing to say to those of you that this concerns...
Fuck you.
If I'm such a bad fucking person for not putting my nose where it doesn't belong then you can go to hell. Dont talk to me anymore and dont act like your some sort of force to be wrecken with or something because you're not.
I dont need this kind of bullshit in my life.
I'm better than this, I'm better than you, and I'm happy with my life and dont need to worry about what other people or saying because in my case, shit isn't true and never will be true.
I'm happy with or without such idiots in my life...

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rayray

:: 2008 4 December :: 1.39pm

That was the most nerve racking experience of my life..
Took my civil service test..

I am hoping I passed, not just so that I can apply for a corrections job, but so that I dont have to go through that again..

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allyson

:: 2008 3 December :: 10.30pm

where can I find a password.
I can't remember my password to my "fraggle" journal.

HELP!

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rayray

:: 2008 26 November :: 2.11pm

I'd like to believe that we decide when to wash our hands, or reveal the skeletons that we keep baracaded in our closets.
On our own terms, at the right time, and when necessary.
But in reality that doesn't happen.
Sometimes the past comes whirling in and everything else that mattered completely stops.

..While driving around greenville today, I had all these insightful thoughts that I planned to write. But when I got home I got side-tracked and had to do laundry. Now all those thoughts are barely there..

Crap.

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rayray

:: 2008 17 November :: 10.33pm

It's pathetic how I find myself defending why I love my boyfriend after 3 years, to people who know me better than a lot of people.
And they tell me that I'm not happy.
But truth be told, I am the happiest I've ever been.
In high school, I was a train wreck.
I was always depressed, crying over never-meant-to-be relationships, drama ate at me like I was a thanksgiving turkey, and I was stressed out the moment I stepped foot into my house.
I was constantly being told what to do.
And I hated every moment of the life I lived outside of my friends.
I may not hang out with my friends as much as I used too, and those relationships may have grown awkard over the past 3 years.
But I truly am happy.
I finally have someone I love that I can come home to everyday, and wake up to every morning.
It may not be the best of relationships, but I am happy.
After this long, I shouldn't have people who I feel I can trust, telling me that I should have a baby, but not until I get a different boyfriend.
I haven't felt that hurt in awhile.
Many of you feel the same way, but don't judge until you know the whole story.
I shouldn't have to defend my life to others.

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rayray

:: 2008 14 November :: 10.44pm

finally broke down and went to the doctors wednesday.
sinus AND respiratory tract infection.
lucky me.

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rayray

:: 2008 9 November :: 11.15am

I feel like I have a lot of emotion to pour out.
But I don't know how to put a lot of it into words.
It's been so long since I have vented any of my emotions.
I think that its because Im gradually getting better at telling Mike how I feel instead of bottling it up, and then just lashing out at him the next time he pisses me off.
Its kind of pathetic that after 3 years I still have a hard time telling him how I feel about certain things.
Most the time I am just trying to spare him the hurt, because I am a harsh bitter person.
I used to blame his daughter for every little thing, and I'd hide out in the bedroom when she'd come over.
But I've overcome that, and I think that I am even coming around to the thought of having kids eventually.

I think I'm growing up..