spinoangel
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2004 20 July :: 12.14am
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: jealous sound - "recovery room"
sometimes i really can't stand being me. being in this body, having this mind, trying to control this heart. i go from one end of the spectrum of emotion to the very opposite end. and i know i can't change it and i know it's what brings me to my demise at the end of each day. but what am i supposed to do? half the time i'm praised for being such a great girl, for being charming and lovely and sexy and attractive and intelligent and hardworking. but then the other half counteracts it. its usually from myself and then my parents and usually its unspoken. i need to work harder, i need to look better, i need to fix myself, i need to control myself. i know that you know exactly what i'm talking about. how it feels when you feel like you shouldnt be wasting the oxygen. we all get like this. but how do we rise from it? sometimes i forget. sometimes i dig myself so deep into my insecurities and fears that i can't do anything but hide in this hole from the world because sometimes i believe it'd be better off without my stupid complaints. i know that that's not true. my personalities conflict with each other a lot. there's the christina that actually loves herself and knows others love her even more. and then theres the one hiding inside who just wants to be someone else, anyone else, to know what it feels like not to be ashamed to be who you are. ok i'm truly rambling right now. but woohu readers wont mind because there aren't many. but ya know. i dont know what else to say. i think i'm done. the thought comes into my head "i wonder what my mom will say about how i look on my wedding day" and then a tear falls down my face. i'm sure you all have similar insecurities. just thought i'd share a little of mine right now. not that i havent before. forget i said anything.
stood there and stared at the grief in my eyes.
leave it to me to live out a lie.
so i sat on the curb and i cried like a child.
catching my breath, just walked for a while.
and i thought... what could go wrong?
i'm already gone. don't say a word. i can't hear you.
don't hold me close. i can't feel you.
2 <3 |
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boricuababy
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2004 19 July :: 11.08am
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: Pump It Up-Joe Budden
hey buddies!!..i'm in tampa now..my mom n pat left last nite..but me and jonothon get to stay another week!!..i'm prolly gonna be home next tuesday/wednesday the latest..itz juss been raining non-stop over here..no lie..it sucks..so i doubt we'll get to go to Adventure Island..the waterpark down here..:/..we got here friday evening..took us forever to get here too..back up traffic...rain..accidents..all that stuff..we brought Roxy wid us..lol..my mom took her back tho..neways..friday nite we went out to dinner after the game we were supposed to go to got rained out..damn rain..lol..saturday we just hung out..ate at chili's..good food..yesterday family came over..this side of the family is soo funny..so we had a good time..right now..im juss chillan..woke up a lil while ago..now im watchin Brown Sugar..that's my movie!!..lol..my grandma gets home from work around 1-ish..then we're gonna go shopping!! lol..i NEED to find a dress!!!..so we're plannin to spend the rest of the day at the mall..jon and joe are going to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and the YAnkee game..lol..jonothon's most likely gonna be the only yankee fan there..ehh..u never kno tho..lol..i miss everybody back at home!!..:(..my frickin fone doesnt work over here!!!..they live like in the middle of no where..lol..but yea my fone doesnt work..sucks..i'll try to be online as much as i can tho..to talk to u guys!!..love u!!..x0x0
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spinoangel
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2004 18 July :: 10.51pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: watching spiderman
i changed my woohu layout. it doesnt please me so much. =\ i need better programs pleeeeease. i think my lj is better. i shall never stop trying though.
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alwaysfalling
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2004 18 July :: 1.53pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: rilo kiley - glendora
so it seems lately that every conversation i have with my dad is either about how psycho my mom is and/or when i'm going to be able to drive. if all goes as i want it to, which is doubtful but definitely hopeful, i will get a job in the next two weeks, work, babysit for my aunt the week before school and make a few hundred, get my license the 30th of july, have it in hand, and then get insurance sometime before school starts because our damn insurance that we have now expires on august 7th so we found a new one that we get on that day and my dad doesn't want to add me right away because of money reasons. heck yeah though. finally going to be able to drive the pimpin oldsmobile, even if the first time is to school on wednesday.
other than that... my life is somewhat boring at the moment, i don't do much of anything which is fine because that i guess is what summer is partly supposed to be about. ap scores sucked majorly, didn't pass one of them, oh well, over and done with now. that's all for now. i must try to update at least one of my journals more often.
<3 love you.
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boricuababy
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2004 16 July :: 9.06am
:: Mood: wide awake
:: Music: If I Aint got you-ALicia Keys
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MELIIIII!!!
yesterday was meli's birthday..happy happy birthday to meli everybody!!..lol..she had a lil get together at her house last nite..i went we had alotta fun..emir kinda juss showed up n den up n left wid the quickness..that kinda pissed me off a bit..but newayzz..lol..we had fun..meli's a monkey now..i found out i seriously suck at spoons..lol..but i won in bullshit!!..hehe..go me!!..we ate really go0d cuban sandwiches from padrinos..mmmm..really yummy..and we had icecream cake..."Caakkkkeee!!"..lol..i melted a lil bit..lol..but it was great..den we started watchin Secret Window..but no one was watchin it so meli put on THe Cat in the Hat..lol..funny movie..melissa got alotta koo presents too..i got her the U Got Served DVD..Eric got her a monkey..Ricki got her some lotions n body sprays that smelled soo good..lol..emir got her lotions n stuff too..omar gave her this really nice cd player..ricarda got her all this monkey stuff..lol..ohh..and her new bling!!that bracelet is so0o0o cute girl!! i had alotta fun..:D
today i leave guys!!..we're leavin around `1..gotta finish packing too..hopefully i find a dress over there..my grandma said she;d buy it for me..:)..i'll be gone for about a week..so0o..i'll talk to u all wen i get back!!..love ya..x0x0
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dmlxoxo
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2004 15 July :: 4.26pm
:: Mood: happy
:) :) :) :)
I GOT MY KISS.
2 words:
fuck yea.
3 <3 |
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boricuababy
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2004 14 July :: 6.54pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: H.O.V.A
ouchhhh
i got home from practice a lil while ago..wow..in painnnn..ouchiezz..i wont stress it tho cuz it'll get me in shape
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 13 July :: 11.45pm
and she returns....continued
mmm well I don't know what to do with myself so I guess I will finish my boring tale.
Yes so got home from publix made some more Daqueries and Coladas Margaux made fun of us for being big alcoholics who drink on sunday nights and went upstairs to study MCAT. It had turned out that Richelle wasn't going to be gone the whole time we were there and she was getting in at about 10:30 so at 11 her and Andres came over to chill.
lol we had an interesting night we all got drunk and started acting real bitchy. Andres was driving Richelle home so he didnt drink and instead decided to instigate the bitchiness. It was actually really funny.
We played fuck you which is like asshole only its a little different and it's a drinking game. Andres would just eat some ice cream instead of taking drinks since Margaux wanted us to finish it off so she didn't eat it. Of course he always won and made us all his beer bitches....makin us drink for pissing him off, pissing each other off, being rude to jerry (yes the giraffe from the nite b4), it was funny eventually we got bored of that.
Every1 had drank a lot of our stuff the other night but they also brought over more and left it so we had a pretty nice supply. I tried my hand at making a cosmopolitan myself and it went horrible wrong I had the vodka and the craberry juice and the triple sec but I messed up the proportions and it was way too strong. I drank most of it tho.
so yeah then Andres turned on Rules of Attraction....what a fucked up movie maybe it was just because I was intoxicated....I'll never look at James Vanderbeck the same again (however the fuck u spell it). Andres kept pissing me off I don't even remember how then he kept like grabbing the hat I was playing with away from me and I scratched him right where he had this scab and his arm started bleeding and I think i did it again later in the same spot by accident. lol I felt bad so I made him let me fix it by putting a tiny piece of tissue on it and wrapping scotch tape around his entire arm like 10 times it was so funny it looked like a retard did it but it cleared my drunken conscience a bit. heh
Richelle is such a bitch when she drinks its funny it rubs off on me. She said she wasnt my friend and she hated me or something and then we were talking about lesbians and I said if I was a lesbian I wouldn't want her and she got all sad and then I was being really racist and she was laughing her ass off....lol before calling her boyfriend a spick which is just never nice.
Yeah so at around 2ish I think they went home and we went to bed. The next day we woke up and hillary and margaux took hillarys car to the dealer to be fixed and michelle went along in her car incase they stalled on the way there. I was still not even dressed yet so I decided to stay at the house and take a shower and chill. I watched sum Dawson's Creek since there was nothing else on and nope....still can't look at dawson the same.
After they got home the three of us went out to lunch at El Toro which was this little mexican restaurant that michelle had been to when she was up there before. It was so cute and small like most people had never heard of it and the ppl there were so nice we could have really easily walked out on the check since they were taking forever but I would have actually felt really bad about it which is saying something.
After lunch we went back to the house to recreate the last scene of the Lord of the Rings where all of the hobbits jump into bed together and laugh and frolic lol well minus the frolicing we just kinda sat there being lazy asses for an hour or two. We decided Hillary's house was like a bed and breakfast only it was more of a "bed and bar" heh so we were amused by that idea for a while...this is a safe place we do not judge at the Hillary Inn. haha the mints and the wakeupcall...too great.
Later hillary tried to get us to run the stadium with ehr again but....its a big fricken stadium and we were on vacation. so we went over to richelles dorm to chill for a bit. Met her roomate amanda watched Andres be amused by stupidvideos.com for like a million years lol along with every little thing hillary said. Richelle was in Rawlings for the summer and the rooms were really small with communal bathrooms plus I don't think she likes her roomate much. idk she says the dorm isnt bad I guess it would take getting used to.
The next part of the day is really complicated and involved so I will tell you the short and slightly incomplete version. After leaving Rawlings we were wandering around and saw an old friend of Hillary's, Gabe, walk in. She had been hoping to run into him since they hadn't talked in a while but she had just left us to go running. So we called her to come back even though it was too late. You need like 3 different keys to get into the dorm and Richelle and Andres had already left for dinner and couldn't let us in. So we just hung around for a while and we were about to leave when we ran into another old friend of theirs Luke, said hello started talking blah blah luke just happens to be Gabes roomate so he invited us up to say hi. Did I mention that both of these guys are fucking gorgeous!!! Seriously tall built dark hair blue eyes athletic wow. So we went upstair and chilled in their room for a while talked about random things Hillary and Gabe spent some time catching up Luke had us all watching North Shore because he always watches it which I thought was kinda cute even tho that show is no match for the OC. We were leaving to go out to dinner since it was getting late and a bunch of their friends came over to the door to get them to go play racket ball and again....omg it was like an entire floor of abercrombie models it was amazing I really have to get out of highschool. The only downside was that luke and gabe were thinking of rushing for this fraternity that is known for guys who are incredibly hot but are unfortunately conceited assholes and are a bad idea to date. (not that id be likely to ever see them again so it doesn't matter)
yeah so hill got their new numbers and we headed out to dinner at olive garden. Then we went home and met yet another extreamly hot guy. Margaux's friend Kyle had come over after his birthday dinner. lol not the greatest way to spend your birthday but we were all talking and he told us stories about his crazy ex girlfriend and he was really nice I liked him a lot. Yup so michelle and I were all for drinking again and tried to pass it off as sum birthday fun for Kyle but he had to drive home lol so We ended up watching how to lose a guy in 10 days in hillarys room. I got so depressed from that movie it was ridiculous. All of the nice hot male exposure at one time I suppose lol I'm not used to it here. But yeah the kissing scene at the end I almost lost it which is cheesy but...idk I felt so alone. After that we listened to some sappy music to go with the mood and then watched family guy which cheered me up messed around online and went to bed. The next morning michelle and I got all of our stuff together said our goodbyes and headed home. Hillary and Margaux are comming home tomorrow anyway so I'm sure we'll see them soon.
Overall I had a fun I can't wait to go back and visit michelle once she moves in. My parents wanna come up for a tour during the year and they said I can stay with whoever I want. Im going to miss them all so much when I can only see them for the rare long weekend away. They really feel like family to me sometimes just because I feel so comfortable around them. I would tell them anything we can just sit around for hours doing nothing and somehow its fun I don't have to be self concious about how I act they just accept me as i am and idk I'm just going to miss them. blah so that was my trip I know none of you care but...I don't care I don't make you read it.
yes so now I'm home and making plans with my chub and my phatass for a night of dorkish fun...
oh yeah did I mention that I have sooo much country music in my head from michelle actually a lot fo it isn't bad and ALL of it is about drinking, and alcohol, and mexico and lost loves and suicide and redneck stuff right up my alley. This one song is so pretty and sad...Hillary said I went country in 3 days lol
*Whisky Lullaby*
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind,
Until the night.
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her 'til I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind,
Until the night.
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la...
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boricuababy
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2004 13 July :: 5.41pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: whaz happenin-ying yang twinz
Boom!!..It's Onnn..
hey peoples!!..wussup wussup?? i got to hang out wid my sammi yesterday!!..lol..havent seen her in a while..she was chillan on vacation..doin her own thing..amaraz gettin her teeth pulled today..:(..ouchiez..hope she feels better..i went to the mall on friday wid amara..bought sum stuff for my fone..then i went to don carters..hung out wid meli ricarda emir n eric..then JJ came..hez eric's "cuzin"..lol..we're still not sure..ev called me!!..shez coming to my party!!..yay!!..im excited..last nite was that hip hop class..i went wid amara..we got the dance down..but damn..im sore..lol..2moro is cheer gym agenn..cant waitt
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 13 July :: 4.00pm
:: Mood: tired
And she returns....Part I
ok so this will most likely turn into a loong boring account of my trip to gainsville so I suggest you stop reading here.
Michelle and I made it there in about 4 and 1/2 hours and got to Hillary's around 1ish? idk but they have the cutest little town house ever its 3 bedrooms 3 bathrooms and it's just her and her sister Margaux living there so it's perfect. So we hung out for a bit got settled in got a look at domestic hillary cleaning and doing dishes which was quite amusing. Then we drove around a bit.
Went to publix to pick up some breakfast food and mixers for the lovely alcohol that Margaux had agreed to pick up for us later. We drove through the campus down frat row (lol it's actually a street) did some people watching....many hot college boys with nice bodies and longish hair in tight shirts were wandering everywhere : P. I really like it up there north florida is so much different, I mean it was still pretty fuckin hot but it was pretty there's a lot of big trees and spanish moss and it was just nice.
Then we dropped our purchases off back at their house and met Margaux's friend Joanie and her brother who were nice after they left we went out to dinner at Maui Chicken Teryaki which was really good there's lots of places to eat up there. After dinner we went to this guy alans apartment to pick up some more alcohol hillary had left there. lol we walked in cuz the door was unlocked and it was just....great shot glasses everywhere a wall full of empty alcohol bottles stuff everywhere the lamp was broken god knows how...I can't wait for that life lol. Anyway we eventually called them and found them in his GF's apartment down the hall, went into say hi and pick up even more alcohol (lol the "beverlys"). We also met Christina, Alans GF, Christine (lol yes 2 diff people just like home : ) ) and Keith, they asked us to bring all the stuff home and they would be by later to hang out.
When we got home Margaux had picked up our Rum and ice for the pina coladas and daqueries and some bacardis and smirnoffs and a bottle of vanilla vodka. We added all of the stuff we had picked up from alans to it and got started lol. Margaux left around 11 with some friends who had driven all the way from Sarasota to see her. It was these two marines Bobby and Ryan and Bobby's GF Christina (yes yet another christina) they were all comming back later too but we wanted to get started early.
So michelle hillary and I started making Daqueries and Pina Coladas and then Hillary and I invented this drink called a Cum Shot (she made it up I named it) all it was was a shot of Vanilla vodka with this french vanilla coffee creamer and from the name you can guess what it looked like. It wasn't that bad it was just nauseatingly sweet so everytime someone said this girls name that Hill didn't like we made them take a cum shot. Hillary and I weren't that drunk but we were being stupid and acting like it. Michelle was pretty bad cuz she started getting all depressed : \
We did take a whole bunch of pics on michelles fone including some of us in our sexy cowboy hats and Hillarys giant colada. She had this martini glass that was literally a foot tall with a cup as big as her head and she drank like 2 or 3 pitchers of pina coladas out of it. lol they were good minus the dust that she couldnt wash out of the cup ewwww. I was being so mean to michelle I pushed her down the stairs just because all it took was like tapping her on the shoulder lol and I put a chair leg on top of her hair when she was laying on the floor so she couldnt get up without ripping her hair out. then I stole her fone and her car keys and her hat and her drink....funny stuff <3.....lmao we also called richelle and Margaux asking for porn I'm afraid to say.
At like 1:30 Margaux still wasn't home and we were getting bored and and michelle looked like she was ready to pass out so we went to go to sleep when this guy Christian showed up so Hillary and I stayed up and talked to him until Margaux came home not long after with Bobby Ryan and Christina, then Alan Keith and the other Christina came over and we started having a little party type thing. I wasn't planning on drinking anymore but it wasnt long before I took another shot and decided to join in.
I finished off a 6pack of bacardis and one of michelles smirnoffs playing this drinking game that I think Alan was teaching us (plus the daqueries and shots i had had before) it was a lot of fun. I still wasn't very drunk well not stupidly drunk just happy i suppose. Keith started talking to me a lot and then it turned to hitting on me lol he kept telling me he was suppressing inappropriate thoughts that were running throu his head cuz Margaux told him I was still in HS (he didn't find out i was 16 until the next morning.) He was a frat boy I'm pretty sure and Margaux said by the end of the night it was the drunkest she had ever seen him which is saying something. I ended up taking care of him everytime I went to get myself water I made him drink it even tho I was getting dehydrated he could barely stand lol.
After a while the game got to be too much since the guys had been drinking straight whisky and we were doing waterfalls (ugh) and we had all gotten to the point of naming this Giraffe statue Jerry (not jeffery because that is taken by the toys r us statue) and we had made a rule in the game that before you drank you had to say Jerry may I.....yeahhh so at that point it was around 6am and christian alan and christina left leaving keith behind to sleep in the middle of the floor because he couldnt move. Bobby and Christina slept on the couch and Ryan upstairs.
I woke up around 1 in the afternoon and we all just kinda sat in the middle of the living room in the dark trying to wake up bobby and keith which just was not happening. Eventually we started cleaning up the bottles and cups all around the house. Hillary has this interesting habit of drinking out of a measuring cup and using serving spoons and forks to eat with when everything else is in the dishwasher lol. And we had used just about every cup in the cabinet. Yeah so I was a little hung over for once : \ so I took sum advil and we went out to lunch at fridays and I felt much better. We came home to find every1 just about where we left them only keith had been picked up and the rest were asleep on the couch watching big fish. We hung out in hillarys room a while just being lazy before we went to the mall. The one they have up there is pretty nice (the Oaks mall) they have this store buckle which i <3 love <3 i wish we had it down here. I was running short on money since my mom didnt budget in alcohol (whoda thought lol) when she gave me an advance on my allowance so going into the stores and having to refrain from buying anything was kind of like being a reformed rug addict in a crack house but eh....looking is nice : \
After that we went to cicis for dinner and much delerium ensued....its beyond words how stupid we are sometimes. Then we went to publix (with me wearing michelles nifty cowboy hat because it was dead sexy lol) again to pick up some more ice for pina coladas and such and some ice cream for margaux and some other stuff......
ok well this is getting quite ridiculous so I will break it up into 2 entries....more later call me if you wanna hang out this week or nxt week before dance starts much love and to be continued....
~Jess~
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spinoangel
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2004 11 July :: 10.16pm
:: Music: finch - "letters to you" acoustic.
i give up. i'll just sleep now.
=*(
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alwaysfalling
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2004 10 July :: 6.38pm
:: Mood: confused
psh. cancel all that crap i said in the last entry.
all my thoughts are all mixed up. i loveee hanging out with big sexy and her momma pimp though, they bring me happy thoughts.
"these aren't hooker shoes, these are nine west!"
"if you're my momma pimp, then daddy, is my sugar daddy"
garage sale this morning with them. in total we made $100 or so. then went shopping. saw jessica's daddy at american eagle... wanted to go up to him and say, "hi! are you mr.brandi, jessica's dad? i'm her friend "michelle." yeah gotta use a differenet name. you know why. nice day.
dinner time with them. yay!
<3 love.
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 9 July :: 3.25pm
:: Mood: confused
Talking to Danielle inspired me to write a story I have kinda had in my head for a few days. It is making me very happy, writing is my therapy right up there with shopping. It's just ahrd to get motivated to write anymore : \.....yeah so that is what I have been up to lately, sad but....I could care less.
I owe myself crunches and treadmill time until I pass out....I'm confused again I don't know how to handle this anymore. I hate myself for being weak I hate myself for a lot of reasons. Maybe I'll just give in fuck willpower. maybe not idk....don't ask
Michelle is comming to get me at 8am tomorrow morning and we're leaving for Gainsville. Hillary informed me last night that a lot of her friends we woulda met had gone home for the summer and Richelle is home visiting her family this weekend which really sucks because I was exicted to see her but oh well we will still have fun I'm sure, not like I'm doing anything exciting here.
Well I have more writing to do gotta work out and pack and go to the book store to get something for the drive up. I'll be back around wednesday so don't miss me too much heh.
oh yeah I'm taking my driving test on friday...I'm afraid I will be the only loser to fail it but cross your fingers for me. Not that I'm a bad driver or anything I just might do something stupid under pressure. idk my mom was saying she wasnt going to let me drive right away but I made her let me drive her to boca so she could see that I'm not incompetant so...hopefully she'll be reasonable.
I'm so pissed because I have to do eagle ette shit the weekend my mom and I were supposed to go to NY. So we're cancelling the trip. My mom wont let me miss it because it looks bad and she knows I need to start proving myself and shit. All that I sacrafice for this fucking team gives me little to no payback and it never has but it makes me hate myself a little less to know that I am capable of being truly dedicated to something and taking responsibility where it is expected. It's a pride thing i'll never quit.
so that's that danielle we are definately going bowling when I get home maybe we'll even steal shoes this time : P If you have any crises while I'm away don't hesitate to call because well....you know those boys. Have fun with #1 and #2 <3
Actually anyone call me I love calls : )
someone is also going with me to see king aurthor when I get back...
this is enough back to the story at hand....
~love~
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boricuababy
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2004 9 July :: 10.14am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: BK Athem-Foxxy Brown
i so happyy..
he finally asked me out!!..last nite..lol..yay!!..im happy now..hez so cute..i really think this is gonna work
me n amara were plannin to take these hip hop classes every monday till the end of august..the teacher is wade robson!! from mtv's the wade rosbon project..im so excited..i faxed in all tha paperwork..n talked to tha lady..turns out itz not how much we thot it was gonna be..lol..that might be a problem..hmm..gotta see tho..neways i had a lil argument wid my mom yesterday..i got grounded for "talkin back"..pshh..so shez trynna squash all my plans for this weekend..i hope she letz me go out tho..i wanna see emir..newayz me n amara might hit up tha mall todayy..spend money on stuff i dont need..u girls kno how dat goes..;)
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lifesuxsodanz
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2004 7 July :: 8.12pm
wow...I have been neglecting you poor woohu I think I am outgrowing this childish phase....perhaps not I'm sure I have a lot to say let us begin...
My new mental/physical health regime....see livejournal for details on that but I think it is a genuinely good idea and I would like to reiterate that I am a fucking genius. I realized today how much I really do think about him and how hard it is to control your thoughts. And the knowledge that I would have to do many crunches and push ups as a result of such thoughts made me really fight hard to drown them out of my head....I think I started singing Beat It in my head on the bus ride home just to be ridiculous and block everything else out. But the mental struggle actually kind of wore me out Anand said I ended up passed out for half of the ride home.
let's see what else have I been up to....saw the notebook this weekend with michelle and lauren after becomming devirginized to cold stones....it was long overdue that place is fucking awesome. Earlier that day lauren and I decided to see what the whole spray tan thing was about....kind of a waste of $25 but it was an experience. I was actually really dark for like a day but if you don't have a base tan to start off with it fades pretty quickly. Afterwards we went back to laurens house to play with the puppies. I want to steal them so bad they're adorable.
SAturday went with my parents to cityplace to see spiderman 2 I thought ti was good but my mom was being such a pain in the ass in the movie because she was bored...such a child
4th of july sat on my ass watching movies no fire works for me....seen em once you've seen em all. Plus I had no1 to go watch them with it's kind of depressing with ur parents and no friends or guy...idk.
Monday I drove us all to boca to meet me family for lunch as PF changs my aunt brought the baby so my mom was happy. I don't understand ppl who like babies....OMG he shut his eyes its so amazing its a fuckign miracle....who cares? When he's old enough to cure cancer I'll be impressed.
Today was the LAST day of summer school WOOOHOOOO. I'm going to miss it a bit I always end up making really good friendships in summer school every year it never fails. It's just a different atmosphere it's nice. They really should let us have breaks during the school year again it's so great. But yeah people like Ashley Treu and Rich (tho he is leaving now isnt he) who I never really talked to before and especially Amy and Christine I was never really close with but I really enjoyed their company and hopefully we will continue the friendship next year. And then there was people I was already pretty good friends with like Liz and Janyll and Adam. I'm going to miss the endless card games and the silliness. lol sharks in the forest....lord farquar....90's pop notebook etc etc...telling embarassing middle school stories and the uncontrollable laughing. lol how did we ever fit biology into these few weeks all I seem to remember is the free time. I feel so safe with all of my fellow IB losers we can all be in our own little world together.
We did have our exam today it was really easy we played biology jeopardy before lunch cuz we are gay like that and the rest of the day was just chillin in the room. I gave adam some real honest advice because it's just what I do and he got a little upset but hopefully not too much. I hope he sees that I'm right somewhere down the road. lol we did have a lot of fun today tho he tried to carry me down the hallway (at his own risk i mind u i warned him) and almost got a hernia. Janyll Amy and Adam locked me in the physics room and I was mad scared then we we were all running through the rooms like little kids. German was chasing someone down the hall it was just altogether immature craziness. So yup back to conditioning and dance tomorrow then it's GAINSVILLE! yup I'm still super excited to go away away away....bah I def have mroe to say but this is getting ridiculous. I guess I havnt grown out of it yet...
~love~
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