chuckitatthewall
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::
2004 11 January :: 8.58pm
today was good up untill about an hour ago. my dumbass sister is a history major and shes had good grades all her life. i on the other hand have had b's and c's all my life. i dont think i've ever gotten higher than a b- in math. since my dad was also a history major and now a lawyer and my sister is following in his footsteps he favors her. so today i was supposed to be working on my outline for my research paper. i wanted to do it on the computer so i wouldnt have to transfer it on later. mary (my sister. i lied about the names in the previous journal entry with her in it) told me that i had to hand write it first. i asked her why and she said that if she were my teacher she would make me hand write it first. SO FUCKING WHAT???? SHES NOT MY FUCKING TEACHER SO I DONT HAVE TO DO IT THE WAY SHE WANTS! of course my dad agreed with her so i had to hand write it. the fucking bitch.
i know that i make it sound like my life is so terrible and i should be thankfull that i'm not getting beaten and stuff but i really get pissed.
the problem that i have with my family is that if i tell my mom anything it gets around to ever person who lives with us and her friends and even my dads clients. its so hard to trust anyone in my house. i suppose thats a big reason i come here to write cause even if someone tells everyone what i've written it wont get back to my family. its pretty sad that i tell a computer and people i dont know more about me than i tell my family.
today i thought i was gonna make it all day without having the urge to cry. well this afternoon i discovered i was wrong. the reason is my sister. dont u think because she is gonna be 22 in a couple of weeks she should move out? i think she should....tomorrow would be a nice day to move.
i think i try hard enough in school. i work hard and study when i have a test complete nearly all of my work on time or before the due date. the thing is no matter how hard i try my dad will never think its good enough! i might as well stop trying to please him and put that extra effort into something that will have benefits. the only way to please him is to be mary and he doesnt have 5 marys. he has 4 other individual girls who work hard and do the best they can. why cant he see that? maybe not all of our decisions have been the smartest but when we make them we r trying to do what we think is right. ITS CALLED A FUCKING MISTAKE! APPARENTLY HE DOESNT THINK THAT PEOPLE R MORTAL! god it pisses me off. i could name several mistakes he has made in his life but i dont. for some reason i dont understand he brings up all my mistakes. for example i'm going to tell u a story that always gets brought up to make me embarrased...little do they know i'm not embarrassed by it anymore.
so when i was 8 years old i went to a birthday party sleepover thing in a hotel. well that night everyone who was there was having fun and doing stuff. at about midnight everyone had fallen asleep accept for me, stephanie, louise, and rebecca and maybe another person. so we were flipping through channels and we came across a porn movie. because we were 8 and curious we decided to watch it. in the movie there lesbian sex and other stuff i dont really want to get into. a few days later rebecca (i think) told her mom because she was crying because of what she saw and i suppose the guilt. so it got around to all the parents of kids that were there and my parents approached me about it. i told them that i watched it and i was sorry. i think i got grounded but i'm not exactly sure. now when they r trying to embarrass me they bring that story up and i'm sure that everyone in my extended family and my parents friends and strangers probably know what i did.
so thats how low my family will get in trying to embarrass people. i mean that happened like 5 years ago. at some point they need to forget about it.
done for now. bye
1 did |
Go fuck yourself
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Dukespartnerincrime
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2004 10 January :: 11.08pm
:: Mood: rejuvenated
:: Music: harrry pottter theme song!
commander poopey pants
i am just writing in this thing so jessica can add me to her friends.
Go fuck yourself
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chuckitatthewall
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::
2004 10 January :: 10.03pm
:: Music: school of rock soundtrack
2 journal entries today cause i'm bored. i like the school of rock soundtrack and that movie. it comes out in march good movie. nice drummer. hot drummer actually is the better adjective.
i have these very special slippers i want to tell u about. they r rudolf the reindeer slippers and when u walk the nose lights up. yup kind of juvenille but i dont care cause they r nice. the only problem is either my feet r really thick or they r really thick cause there is so much cotton in them that my foot can barely squeeze into it. lol i'm sure u just care so much about it.
jessicas journal entry put me in a really good mood cause it was funny. so thank u jessica.
"you know how most dogs lick you on the cheek? If you're sleeping and not ready for it, my dog, Joe, will get his tongue inside your mouth. It by far the worst kiss I've ever had." lol thats what will estes from american dreams said.
american dreams thats a nice subject. its a really good show. its way better than touched by an angel which i used to be forced to watch when i was little. (sorry for skipping around subjects, i'll get back to american dreams in a bit) so touched by an angel is the dumbest show i think in the history of t.v. so in every episode the angels would talk in the beginning then they would be sent on a mission to save the person from doing something bad or whatever. then at the end of the show during the part where the angel was doing her saving stuff she would say "i am angel" ~light shines down showing her holieness~ "sent by god to help you" ~person being helped crying~ "a...an..angel?" ~angel~ "yes! god doesnt want u to do this!its not to late yet" `~person~ "nah. god doesnt love me. h-howcome he never cared earlier?" angel "he did but u could never see" and then some other stuff and the person would say "i'm so sorry" and then some cheesy lines while talking to god.
pretty dumb so back to american dreams tomorrow cause i gotta go eat dinner and dont have enough patience to write any more
1 did |
Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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::
2004 10 January :: 2.50pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: Papercut - Linkin Park
Ah, it's all over.
The test is all over and I can relax. May I say that I believe I did well on it and I really appreciate all the support I got from everybody. So thanks everyone! COOKIES for people such as Marilyn, Louise, my parents, my tutor, and Alexander aka Little Damion (as if he doesn't have enough cookies already. How far have you gotten on that truck load?)
Anyway, I figured since I'm not so busy I can finally post that poem I wrote a few days ago. I don't have a title for it yet, but if anyone has an idea, I would REALLY appreciate it (especially because coming up with a title for my works is one of my weaknesses when it comes to writing).
Light fades from my eyes
Just as dusk fades to black.
It burns when I inhale,
There's no going back.
I once felt love for you,
Now there's just pain.
My entire body aches
As my last glimmers of joy wane.
I knew all along
It was at me you jeered,
But I chose to ignore it,
Because that's what I feared.
I know now the real you,
You're the one I blame,
Because you're the one who cast this fire,
This burning, searing pain.
And so now I leave you.
You won't be laughing then.
I'll be the one grinning,
Because this time I know I'll win.
And so farewell I say to you
As my own blood gathers on the floor.
You are finally defeated,
Because I'm not afraid anymore.
_______________________________
And that's my poem *grins sheepishly*. Depressing poems are fun. Especially the ones you write without really knowing the story behind it. Then, once you're finished you look over it and realize that it actually does have a story to it. Tis nice indeed. Well I hope you like, because I enjoyed writing it.
I was drawing on my scratch paper for the test after I had amazingly managed to finish a section early than I did any other, but then they had to collect it in case we took it home and started showing our friends the problems. *sniffle* And it was such a purdy picture too. A chibi version of my character Psyche. Ah, yesh, I love Psyche. He ish my buddy ol' pal.
I was unhealthy today and had McDonald's for lunch. Now I'm full *pats stomach*.
My sister's best friend Justin is over, and right now they're playing video games (my, isn't that a first). I see that Justin has gone from his stage if standing up and jumping while he plays video games to kneeling and wiggling around. An improvement. Oh, wait. He's standing again. And now he's jumping. Forget that thing I said about an improvement.
*waves* BAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
2 did |
Go fuck yourself
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 10 January :: 1.24pm
highschool tests r coming up in 2 weeks and i realized that i'm not very prepared. so many people r applying to the school i'm wondering if i'm gonna get it now. i deffinately dont want to pres cause its to preppy and i strongly despise preps more than any other "type" of person. well actually its kind of a tie between preps and those who dont try at all.
because i'm on the subject of people who dont try i would like to share with u a poem i wrote last night. its called: Sarah
You are so dumb with much potential to do more
After hearing 500 x's about "guy sightings" conversations with you are such a bore.
It seems like "chicken" and "hot guy" are the only words you know
I would so love to make you smart and your brain grow
You really are hopeless, that is no lie!
By an abusive boyfriend is probably how you'll die
The teacher doesn't flunk you because they hate you, Dumbass
If you put effort into your work maybe you'd pass
I'm tired of you blaming your problems on others around
Sometimes it's your fault is what I have found
Even if you use a little common sense you'll go far
And perhaps you'll get a little over par
Try harder and talk like a smart person is all that I ask
It is really that difficult of a task?
that was mostly directed at sarah and stephanie but lynn a little. it just pisses me off they r so stupid and dont try AT ALL! also i think that they r not real friends cause maybe its just me but true friends dont talk behind eachothers back. the worst thing that they ever did was this thing they called the "slam book" aka make fun of people and put them down. so they would have that book and write in it and then give it to the next person every night. stephanie, who was involved with this book, told me that my name was mentioned in it as well as louise. yes, this was sometime last year but it still hurts that they would do that. the way that i found out about this "slam book" was when sarah (figures it would be her) had it after school and i asked her about it but she would not tell me what it is. naturally i knew that if she wouldnt tell me about it then it wasnt good. DO THEY HAVE NO HEARTS??? apparently not. she fucking sat in my car with that book and wouldnt tell me about it! just thinking about it right now makes me want to go beat the shit out of her and the rest of them. i cant wait untill i graduate so i can be done with them and not be afraid my "friends" hate me and make fun of me behind my back. thats one of the worst feelings ever. so now i'm just gonna say it: i no longer consider them "good" friends. they r just people i talk to at school and when sarah pesters me on the weekends. >:( (i'm not very good with the smiles) i think that they just cant accept that maybe they r'nt the best CAUSE THEY R THE FUCKIN WORST! all of them need to be pounded into the ground! the only things they care about are guys and that nasty rap that talks about fucking and only fucking. i hate that type of rap cause some rap is okay but its all these big fat nasty "pimps" and their sickass girls who walk around in practically nothing all day (at least in the videos). i know that guys like to see women like that but its everywhere and it pisses me off.
let me describe sarah's outward appearence to u and then tell u what she says and does. ok she is about 5'4, acne on tan skin which is gross. she is fat. there is no way around it. her belly sticks out. her arms r bigger than average. she also has bigass sick boobs that make me want to puke.
so now i'll tell u what she says and does. ok so at dances with other schools and even at school she does this thing where she kinda like "picks up" her boobs and lets them drop. it is so revolting! she dresses like a slut- low cut shirts, shorts up to her butt (which is fat and disgusting) and she puts this ugly cover up on to hide her acne but its like orange and shes a browner color. gross thing number 2: so at our school we wear uniforms. girls have the choice of a skirt, shorts or pants. she wears the skirt and at lunch and recess and stuff after they ditch me louise and jessica they go to the middle of the yard and she ALWAYS pulls her skirt up higher and higher like it isnt high enough before she adjusts it! and then her and stephanie do this thing with there leg where they stick it out as far as it will go and then they flip their hair.
so now to what she says. ok so i'm not fat, i have fat on me but everyone does. there is a difference between having fat and being fat. so anyway i went to the doctor and they weighed me and they said i weighed 114 about 6 months ago. since then i've grown and stuff and eaten so over a period of time i gained some weight so now i weigh somewhere around 117 or 118. let me tell u she is not as small as me. she is taller, her belly sticks out further and in general she is a bigger girl. she told me she thinks she weighs 120! that would be impossible. even we looked the exact same except she was taller she would weigh more. so for to think that she only weighs 120 pounds is unrealistic. everyone knows that she weighs at least 130. in that little thing i said up there i wasnt trying to be conceided but i was comparing me to her cause my size and what she says she is is similar. so then she eats and eats. she wants a potatoe chip she has one or 2 or 3. her life style isnt healthy. so she also wears all these revealing clothes that just make her look disgusting. she also says "well i'm the skinniest one in my house" which, sorry to be mean, isnt really all that hard to do.
fat people who wont admit it make me furious.
i'm done being pissed. there is nothing i can do to change it.
1 did |
Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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::
2004 10 January :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: tired and nervous
:: Music: Angry White Boy Polka - Weird Al Yankovic
I think I did pretty well on my science test and history tests, so I'm happy! The literature test went pretty well too, but I really don't think I did very well on the quotes for the characters. What Mrs. Saunders (my teacher, aka The Muppet or Miss Piggy) did was she had these quotes taken directly from the book and you had to put down what character said that quote. She gave us choices, but there were too many and some people were used twice. You can't blame me for not doing well; I think it was one of the worst books I've ever read. On the essays I did fair enough - could have done better, but I was the last one to turn it in because they were so long anyway (why do I always have to do that? It really is kind of embarrassing. I'm not saying that to make anyone feel stupid for short essays or anything, but I always take too much time on essays, and it really is beginning to bug me). I think my best section was the vocabulary.
Well enough about that. Tomorrow I'm taking the HSPT (the highscool entrance exam) at 8:30 in the morning, and it's really making me nervous. If I don't get in to this school I'm going to have to go to Live Oak. Not that I have anything against public schools (I'm not a snotty private school kid!) because there are some really nice ones out there that I've seen, but Live Oak isn't one of those nice ones. Their lockers are rusted and covered in graffitti. Not to mention their school mascot is the Acorns, aka "The Nuts."
That's right, they have a big thing painted on their gym floor that says "GO NUTS!" Interesting, really. I found it funny. However, I think they redid their swimming pool, which is good because I like to swim. Other than that though I haven't seen all that much of the school, so I suppose I shouldn't be judgemental. I'm getting off the subject though. Oh well I'm going to start on a new subject anyway.
You know, they keep telling us that there's going to be this huge storm coming, and I see no storm. The past two days in fact have been sunny and relatively warm. GIVE ME A STORM, DAMN YOU!
But no. The storm seems to have gone east, west, north, and south of where we are, but not where we actually are. I think it's doing this on purpose.
"Ooo I think I'll dance around this area just to get Jessica and some of her friends mad."
Alright, I know storms don't talk, but if they did, I bet that's what this one would say. I want rain! It makes the hills all purdy and green and nice, I say!
....
I wanna go to Ireland in spring where it rains almost every day and the hills are always purdy. And then I get to hear the coolio bagpipes! That's right, I like bagpipes, got a problem with that? HUH? HUUUUUUUH? well too bad.
^_^
Today Marilyn, Louise and I got together to study for the highschool tests, even though they are taking theirs on the 24th onstead of the 10th. After Louise consumed most all of the candy containing chocolate in my house we began to study. We started out with math problems but got frusterated with that and moved on to English. At one point Marilyn got distracted by the only two Gundam models I have (one is a SD Gundam and the other is Deathsycthe Hell) and started making them battle eachother.
Deathscythe: "Curse you! I'll stab you with my fork!"
SD Gundam thing: "I'll kill you with my rope!"
Of course I had to explain to her that Deathscythe didn't have a fork, but a scythe. It was amusing though.
Then we got into the topic of the two boys that ride through our school parking lot every day. One rides on a motorized scooter and the other rides on a bike. Every morning they cross through our parking lot, and it was beginning to bug us. So we made a plan. First of all, there is the janitor lady at our school who has a large yellow cleaning cart that squeaks. The squeaking is so high pitched that it hurts your ears, but sometimes it seems that I am the only one it bothers. Anyway, we decided we were going to gather a bunch of rabid squirrels together and put them in the cart. We would be supplied with mops, of course, and boom boxes would be strapped around our necks so we could play heroic theme music at the right moment.
On Monday morning, when they ride through the parking lot, we will burst out of the gym (one with the yellow cleaning cart and the other with the sports equipment cart), yelling war cries that instill terror into the boys hearts, all the while our heroic theme music plays from around our necks as we run with our carts full of cleaning materials, sports equipment, and rabid squirrels *squeakitsqueakitsqueakitsqueakitsqueakitsqueakitsqueak*. With a mighty cry we shall release our faithful squirrel minions and prepare ourselves with our oh-so-handy-dandy weapons of mops and footballs. While the rabid squirrels catch up to the boys (who are now pedalling and... motoring for their lives), we run at full speed towards our victims. With our mops we shall swat them in the face: "WAAAWAAWOOOOOAHWA WAWAWAWOOOO YAHAHAAA!" and with our footballs, baseballs, basketballs, etc., we shall knock them off their vehicles: "CHICHICHICHICHICHICHICYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!".
Then our terrified victims shall pick themselves up off the ground and, half-running half-stumbling with rabid squirrels attatched to their clothing, they shall retreat off the premesis and never go through our parking lot ever again. *nods* And that is our master plot.
We did actually study, of course. I ran off some copies of a language practice test from my book and we worked on that a bit. Louise was sitting on the bed, staring at Marilyn and me in a scary way. It was kind of like crazy psychopathic glaring. Creepy I say. Finally she stopped and instead started making weird faces. Louise left around 6:00, but Marilyn stayed and had pizza. I like the kind of pizza we get. It's yummy! (Yummy is a fonny word).
I'm really tired, which isn't normal for me, especially at 10:00 at night on a Friday. I guess this week wore me out. Well I'll conclude this entry now, so bye bye!
2 did |
Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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2004 9 January :: 12.33am
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: Papercut - Linkin Park
too.. many.. tests...
I have three big tests tomorrow - history, Language Arts, and the dreaded one *gasp* science! Generally I do pretty well in school. Last report card I had about a 3.7 GPA and was able to get 97th percentile on my IOWA tests, but since then I've been having trouble with science. I have a C+, but my teacher says it's really close to a B-. It makes me wonder, if it's so close, why doesn't she round it like they always do? *sigh* So tomorrow is my last chance to get better than a C in science test before progress reports. If we were studying anything else besides chemistry and chemical equation crap I would have probably done much better, but NOOOOO, we have to learn how to solve a chemical equation, or what a double replacement chemical reaction is or whatever.
Yup. Tis evil. I noticed that I've been complaining about school a lot. Sorry.
Why am I apologizing? This is my journal.
...
But still, I feel like a "complainer".
SOMEONE TELL ME TO SHUT UP!
*ahem* I'm done.
I'm happy that I did pretty well in math! Last year, in 7th grade, I had a C+ throughout the whole year in math (a lot of stuff was going on - believe me. It was a sad year. If anyone cares to know why, maybe I'll tell you. I guess it might be nice to talk about it again.). Now though, I believe I've brought it up to a B or B+ (yay!).
That doesn't mean I've stopped hating math, mind you. I still dislike numbers *hugs her words*. I is liking words better than numbers *nods*.
Hmmm. Oh yes! We got a new gym floor. At first I thought it was going to be stupid, but from what I have seen of the finished work, it looks pretty nice. Coach got a bunch of people together to put it down, but all it really was was like fitting puzzle peices together. Kinda weird yes? Well, it's late, and I still need to type up my history study guide.
Bai! Sayonara! Ja ne! Aloha! Alveterzein(sp?)! Si senor! . . . . . wait . . . .
3 did |
Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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::
2004 6 January :: 11.35pm
:: Mood: groggy
religious zealots
Okay, going to a Catholic school you're going to read some pretty strange and sometimes annoying stuff while forced to read the religion book, right? Well today we had a lot of religion homework - I mean heap o' key terms - and I was searching through the book for the answers and came upon that one section - you know, the one that tells you sex is bad and you're gonna go to hell if you do it.
And I realized that it seriously pissed me off. I mean, I'm not saying I think casual sex is good or anything, but for some reason it really bugged me how it acted like you were such a bad person if you did something like that. Then it had a little section where it tells a short story and you have to discuss it or answer questions about it afterwords. It said something like "Peter gave his friend Joe an adult magazine. Joe was reading the magazine in his room and found that the contents gave him pleasurable sensations. Joe threw the magazine away."
Think about this for a moment and tell me truthfully: how many teenage boys are going to throw a dirty magazine away, especially if they like the feeling of it? NOT TOO MANY, I'LL TELL YA THAT.
"Oh this magazine makes me feel weird in a good way, I think I'll throw it away."
-_-
I'm sorry. I know that was a really weird subject, but the story was so unrealistic it made me mad. And people have sex before they get married, and I don't think they're ALL going to Hell. Hell must be pretty full by now if everyone who did that became eternally damned.
I'd like to type more on a different subject (I apologize for my rantings) but I need to do the dishes and get ready for bed.
May I say that I am a catholic and, sure, I believe in God, but beware of the religious zealots! They are dangerous I say!
5 did |
Go fuck yourself
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 6 January :: 11.48pm
a creepy person called for my sister and me and hung up when my mom and other sister, who answered the phone, asked who it was. creepy.
i'm going to sign up for softball this spring. i think it will be fun even though i cant really hit. also i have a big fear of a bad coach because whenever i play softball they seem to just stick me in the outfield and use the players they like more.
my dad that i'm old enough to read about the concetration camps and is even offering to get a few books that he read about them and liked. i hate it how my sister trys to be the decider of what i should and shouldnt read.
well i'm off to take a shower and to go to sleep early tonight.
Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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2004 5 January :: 9.45pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Droppin' Plates - Dosturbed (I'm NOT obsessed, I swear!)
just... stuff
Hello, I'm back (oh aren't you so happy and joyful? I know now that you shall forever live in peace knowing that I am here. ^_^.... -_-). Today was the first day after vacation that we went back to school. I think since I got home I've been asked "how was school?" about three times already. School is school - it is hardly ever really exciting, and right now the stress everyone is feeling is not putting people in good moods. I hope I do well on my high school test. I know I keep bringing that up, but I am pretty worried about it. Especially the math part. I have never really been good in math before - now I've gotten better; A B or B+ I believe - but some of these problems are hard. Or at least they seem hard to me. I don't think that I will have much trouble with the Language Arts parts because that's always been my strongpoint. Being that I'm taking the actual test this Saturday, I have less then a week to study, and that is obviously not lowering my stress levels.
Hmm now, what else is there to talk about? I really don't want to concentrate too much on school, but that seems to be the only thing vaguely interesting.
Wait. I looked for info on the Neon Genesis Evangelion live action movie and so far there isn't anything other that what I've heard along with some rumors.
The Queen of England's dog was eaten by Princess Anne's dog. That's rather disturbing, isn't it? In a sick twisted way, however, I find it funny.
What if you named your dog Weenie? "Come here Weenie, come here boy!" If you were having hot dogs for dinner or luch you could say "you wanna hot weenie?" Heee hahaha.
I like laughing at my own jokes every once in a while though. Tis nice.
DOOOOOOOOOPIDOOOOPERS SAY I!
I'm done for now. Tootle pip.
Go fuck yourself
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 5 January :: 9.53pm
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: linkin park
there is so much to talk about. highschool entrance exams r coming up and i still dont know how to use commas correctly! so thats really bad. i'm scared to death of failing it and having to go to a public school. this is one of the worst feelings. and right now i'm trying to do the note cards for the research paper but i dont have enough information to fill all 16 single sided cards up. i'm so fuckin screwed. also this week we have so many tests and stuff and i'm getting really stressed out.i think i need to just cry but i do so much of that that after a while i just cant. sometimes i wish i go to san francisco (cause its my favorite place to be) when its raining and go to the beach right near the golden gate bridge and just kinda let the rain soak me. then i would like to scream as loud as i can with no one making fun of me. after that i would run across the beach at full speed till i collapse on the wet but comfortable sand and lay there staring at the bridge and the water. i wish that no body in the world woud judge people especially me because i do that to much. and there would be no preps in the world.
somtimes i also wish i could live in the 40's minus the war. like in the movie pearl harbor where everything just seems so happy when they r'nt thinking about the war thats raging overseas.
(sorry but my history anger stuff is going to come out again) it just makes me mad how the germans murdered so many jews just cause of their beliefs. i dont see the point in it but i guess when ur head is so screwed up like hitler and now saddam and osama u find pleasure in doing things like that. if i ever got near saddam or osama i would wanna fuckin beat their fuckin brains out causing as much pain and suffering as possible before they died. then right before they look like they r about to die i would leave then alone till they feel better then beat them again until they r almost dead and so on for several weeks everyother day. then maybe they would begin to understand how much pain they put millions of people and their families through.
i really get pissed at a few friends i have because they dont try their best. it makes me so mad cause i know they could get b's at least. and they just say when they dont understand something "oh well" and i wanna fuckin yell at them "OK WELL THEN FUCKIN ASK HOW TO FUCKIN DO IT! AND MAYBE UR FUCKIN F'S FOR GRADES WILL IMPROVE" perhaps urges to yell things like that is the reason why i dont wanna be a teacher. anyway and so they put just about no effort into their work. its a fuckin miracle they passed 7th grade and all the other ones. i guess there is nothing i can do but i cant help it if i want them to try harder.
i have an odd obsession with music from the 60's especially when it has the trumpet. i cant explain what it is about that music but it makes me happy.
princess annes dog ate the queens bulldog...i think thats funny
Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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2004 4 January :: 10.38pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: The Game - Disturbed
words
My new word is noobles. yes, noobles. NOT noodles - noobles. *nods*
Go fuck yourself
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chuckitatthewall
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::
2004 4 January :: 9.19pm
:: Mood: angry
today has been very eventfull so i have decided to write twice. first of all sarah is a dumbass whos fat and seriously needs a diet. (jessica dont repeat that to her) so anyway she is so fucking stupid. she completely doubts her boyfriend and thats all she fuckin talks about and stuff and its fucking annoying! excuse me for fuckin feeling that way. so i told her that i think its bad that she doubts him so much then she fuckin goes and gets mad at me in that "i'm not gonna talk to u type of way" its so fuckin gay. OH BUT FUCKING WAIT A FUCKING SECOND! lol marilyn im not mad at u. OK WELL FUCK U! NOW THAT I FUCKIN THINK UR FUCKIN MAD AT ME U BITCH! she makes me so mad. i hate it when people do the silent treatment anger shit. its the most fuckin annoying thing ever. and lynn and sarah and stephanie all master it and do it all the fuckin time! FUCK THEM! i need to go punch the fuckin punching bag right now. bye
Go fuck yourself
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chuckitatthewall
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::
2004 4 January :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: melancholy
i'm finally updating my journal so now i hope that jessica is happy. i'm getting nervous about not getting into notre dame. but i guess thats to be expected. its really pissing me off how so many people dont use proper english. so they say stuff like "we didnt do nothing" and i think that they do it to try to be cool but its not cool and it just makes them sound so stupid. and this stuff about "chicken" like when they say "chicken that guy is very hot" i just want to kill them. thats my greatest pet peeve i think. now i'm going to say stuff that may come off very nerdy but i dont really care. so i read Anne Franks diary and it made me really sad and upset. so now i'm interested in the holocaust (spelling) and the concentration camps and stuff like that. when i read her last journal entry it was like she had no idea that she was gonna die and she just acted like it was a regular day. but then she was taken away and put in a camp. now i feel so terrible cause of what she and every other person there was put through. it was very saddening and now i'm very thankfull that i dont have to go through that. so then last night i had this really scary dream that my classmates and i were taken to a concentration camp and put into a gas chamber and told to lay down cause we were going to be killed. then i got really scared and tried to pretend that i was just going to sleep and that nothing bad was going to happen. so i i laid down and closed my eyes and i heard people crying and then i thought "god i hope this wont hurt". so the people turned on the pipes where the gas was going to come out of but nobody died. it turns out that they were just putting us in there and making think we were going to die to make us understand what all those who died in a concentration camp felt like right before they were killed. i'm actually gratefull that i had that dream because perhaps now i have a better understanding of their feelings. what makes me mad though is that my sister doesnt want me to research stuff about that anymore cause she says it will put me into a depression. however the way i see it is that if i want to learn about it then it cant put me into a depression.
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Go fuck yourself
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LoupGarou
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2004 3 January :: 8.20pm
:: Mood: angry
dumb high school entrance exams
My mom made me go take a practice test thingy for the high school entrance exams today. Math makes me mad. As expected, I did the worst on the math sections. I wonder whether the actual exam will be that difficult and whether I will even be able to get into the school I want to. I know my grades are good, but it's the damn test that's making me mad. Sometimes I can't tell if I really care that I get into a private high school. I guess deep down, I know that I do care, but I can be pretty good at fooling myself sometimes.
Right now if anyone starts talking about school I'll kick them. One more day of vacation then it's back to that hell hole. I wasted a whole afternoon taking the practice test. I know I'm just being ignorant, because supposedly it's gonna help me, but I just -I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, so I'll just shut up and sit here.
Go fuck yourself
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