Kate
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2006 16 July :: 10.12pm
Join www.facebook.com. (It's better than myspace.) Find me. Add me.
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chelthesmell
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2006 14 July :: 11.48pm
I blame myself for alot of things, because most of the time, they are my fault. I feel really bad about myself. I used to be all like "I'm sucha bad person" But I think I'm starting to except it all now. " *deep sigh* oh well. I'll grow up eventually and figure out what I want. Till then...who knows...?
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rayray
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2006 14 July :: 9.26am
:: Mood: Incomplete.
:: Music: If I Close My Eyes : Reina
It seems like yesterday I was daddy's little girl..
Today is another one of those days where I'm awake at 6 o'clock. You'd think I'd accomplish more on these days. However all I do accomplish is nothing. Haha funny how that works out. This morning was different however. Actually, the whole night was different. It was too hot to cuddle. So we did everything possible to make it cold in there so that we could. Neither of us can sleep if we aren't touching each other. We slept in the same postition all night long. That never happens. And when he moved to turn his alarm off, I instantly woke up. And have been awake since. I didn't want him to go to work. I tried wrapped myself around him to try and make him stay. But it didn't work. He has to go to work. And now I sit here trying my hardest to not text him or call him. I know that sooner or later he will text me or call me. It makes me feel like we're a pathetic old couple or something. If I don't text or call him by a certain time, he calls me. Or if he misses me and doesn't want to admit it, he'll call to see what's up. Like Sunday I think it was he called me like 4 times. And it bugged him that I wasn't at home missing him. I was actually out and about.
I feel like I've let my family down. Especially my sister. I keep thinking that if I had moved to Ohio when I graduated to live with my sister, that things would be better than they are now. (Not that there is anything wrong with my life right now, I'm incredibly happy). I feel like I've let her and Derrick down, because I haven't gone to college yet. And I know how much they want me to. I don't like that feeling. Making my sister happy, and proud of me, means more than making my mom happy and proud of me. I chose a mediocre job that I no longer have, over college. And now I'm choosing what I feel like is love, over pretty much everything else. I'm living this life that most 19 year old don't live until their atleast 22. If I have kids, it won't be until after I'm married. And I don't want to get married, atleast anytime soon.
There's moment where I feel like giving up and just running away, but then I think of what I've got and who comes home to me everyday, who I have to sleep next to every night, and I couldn't be happier. I wouldn't change it for anything. Even though I hate my apartment more than anything, I absolutly love the life I've created. And who I've created it with.
Oh yeah, and I'm getting a hair cut.. I need ideas.
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Kate
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2006 13 July :: 11.59pm
:: Mood: tired
Camp Nicolet.
Here are some photos from camp so far.
Read more..
12 will hate me |
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joeydomina
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2006 13 July :: 2.08pm
I have a job offer from one of the coolest places in the world......
GUITAR CENTER!!!!!!!
i'm supposed to go and talk to the manager about it tomorrow. its not even an interview its a straightup offer skipping the interview process.... yay
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skife
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2006 12 July :: 8.41pm
i'm in a bad mood today, i dont know why.
2 will hate me |
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box
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2006 12 July :: 8.23pm
hahaha Yea thats right.. im badass like that
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joeydomina
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2006 12 July :: 10.31am
wow i cant believe that close to hearing it...... wow
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eddy
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2006 11 July :: 7.04pm
A real update maybe?
Not much has been going on lately. Been hanging out with friends, and even some old ones I haven't seen in a while. Work sucks, definately need a new job, going to go to Schuler's soon to see if I can get in there or not. That would be fun =) Ummm.....gee. I don't know. Don't really know what else to say. Got my computer about a week ago, She's pretty, and I love her. But sometimes I call it a he. Can computers be transvestites? Have to ask Joe about that one, hehe. And now I'm just rambling. So I'll stop. Later!
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rayray
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2006 11 July :: 8.24am
:: Mood: *awake*
:: Music: *jolene - mindy smith*
*the sun rises as i sleep, but i watch it intently as it starts to peek*
Lately my emotions have been more in the blah state. I have no reason not to be happy. However I don't have any particular reason to express my happiness. Well, no new reasons anyway. I think it may have to do with being a female. Oh well. I'm working on not being as insecure. It's taking longer than I want it to. But obviously you can't rush a feeling like that away. It just doesn't disappear. As much as I wish it did, I will have to deal. I think I'm still in shock that this is my longest relationship and I haven't tried to run away from it. There are moments where I piss him off intentionally just to test him. I'm really surprised that he's still with me and still wants to be with me, after all the shit that has gone on in the last 8+ months. I'm getting used to this whole 'mom' thing. Slowly. I'm still unsure of a few things. And it'd probably be easier, a lot easier if she were younger. Also, it'd probably be easier if she were mine. But I guess I'll have to deal with that as well. Then again, I'm trying not to get too attached, because you never know what may happen. As happy as we are, things could be over just like that.
Anyway.. I hate being up early. It makes my day feel even more pointless. More time to sit on my ass and think about what to do. More time to stress about finances. Not having a job. More time to spend thinking about things that 'normal' people don't think about. To clean an apartment that I despise. I need a hobby. I started a puzzle. I seemed to have lost interest in it. Most likely because there are a few edge pieces missing, I get bored easily, and I think I have A.D.D.. I'm reading a book, but I only read when I'm in the tub, because it's the only place I seem to be able to focus enough to actually comprehend what is going on in the book. It's sad really.
My eyes burn when I wear my glasses and I'm more tired. My eyes burn when I wear my contacts. There seems to be no happy medium. And its like the worst feeling in the world. It feels like someone is taking grains of salt/sand and rubbing them across my eyes.
My hatred towards Courtney has grown these past few days. I don't know why I get so pissed. If he wanted to be with her like she claims he does, then he'd obviously be with her instead of me. But clearly he's not. She's like mom in a way. Once things are going great and there's a friendly atmosphere, she fucks it all up. This whole situation reminds me of the song Jolene.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you, please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him just because you can
Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you, Jolene
He talks about you in his sleep
And there's nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, Jolene
But I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you, please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him just because you can
You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
He's the only one for me, Jolene
I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you, please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him just because you can
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you, please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him even though you can
Jolene, Jolene
Sadly this is what my life consists of. Fighting her off, watching music videios and finding songs to fit my mood.
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joeydomina
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2006 10 July :: 8.13am
Today is 10 months for Jess and I. It only seems like yesterday I got to spend time with her for the first time. I can't believe it.
Joey
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moomoo
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2006 9 July :: 5.01pm
Life is going so good right now. I am so tired from last night. I swear this week has just been plain fun fun. I need more weeks like this.
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joeydomina
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2006 7 July :: 4.45pm
how funny is this
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eddy
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2006 6 July :: 11.08pm
It's a cruel (cruel) cruel summer (cruel summer)
-Ace of Base "Cruel Summer"
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eddy
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2006 6 July :: 1.25am
Gotta love John Mayer, man.
Clickity Click
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eddy
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2006 6 July :: 1.06am
I Love You.
(You know who you are)
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rayray
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2006 5 July :: 6.01pm
Yesterday Mike and I moved the rest of his stuff in.
My apartment is finally starting to look right..
My living room actually looks like a living room, its not bare anymore.. Still don't have a couch though.
And I've been doing a lot of cleaning.
My fish keep dying.
I clean the tank and they die one by one..
It's retarded..
And right now I am talking to Mike the guy from Tech/Petosky..
It's weird.. haha
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joeydomina
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2006 5 July :: 3.00pm
:: Mood: irritated
I second Sydney with the one word.
FUCK
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joeydomina
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2006 4 July :: 5.01am
It's to late. I should get some sleep but that involves going to bed or else i just pass out right here. i dunno i have my choices.
Joey
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joeydomina
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2006 4 July :: 1.56am
well i've been trying to get the sound of superman songs from superman returns and yeah its not working to well. kinda upsetting me a bit. oh well. what else. oh happy 4th of july, if anyone's going to sand lake let me know. i'll be there. where i'm not sure but i'll be there. great to see ya'll talk to you later. peace out. JOey
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eddy
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2006 3 July :: 11.21pm
So stay, sweetly numb.
Remain lifeless, love.
-Davey Havok - "Affliction"
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rayray
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2006 3 July :: 10.00pm
People really piss me off. Especially those who know you're right but won't admit it so they insist on starting a fight. It's completely fucking retarded. And she's a total CUNT!. Yes, Im not afraid to say it. And I know most of you hate the word. But it best describes this person.
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rayray
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2006 2 July :: 8.08pm
Some of you know, that I have incredibly screwed up dreams.. Well last night was a series of them. None of them had to do with each other either. Anyway.. The one that was the strangest, was Tony killed himself in downtown GR, and ended up being Mike's brother. And we tried to save him by using cheese to absorb some of the blood. However, it didn't work. And when we got back to my apartment, Jessa, Marty and Clem were here with like 6 other people having a party celebrating Jessa and Marty working through their marital problems. And when I told Jessa about Marty, it didn't seem to affect her. But when I came back from telling everyone else, she was in the corner selling girl scout cookies.
Not sure what the whole dream meant.. but whatever.
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moomoo
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2006 30 June :: 1.09pm
So life has been going okay I guess. I've had a few ups and downs the last couple of days. I found out I cant go to college in Traverse city, Because it would take me a extra year and half up there and I'm not about to waste all that money. So I'm back to going to GRCC and Ferris. I'm sure I will figure things out. Kinda sad I cant go to college with Tasha though, but at least were closer now so we can visit each other anytime we want. Last night at work I got caught by the health inspector eating out of the fry thing. So I guess I'm getting written up and maybe a 3 day suspension. I hope it starts on a Friday so I get a weekend off. I'm just kinda laughing about the whole situation not really taking it seriously lol. I hope sometime I can make it to the sand lake festival. I have Monday off so maybe the stuff will still be going on then. Well if anyone wants to go or has something to do this weekend, give me a call.
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