love me or hate me its all the same

:: 2006 30 June :: 5.47am

this is for AJ
http://www.freephotosandvideos.com/videos.php?vid=TerqsvsK9Ec&t=Night%20Ranger%20-%20Sister%20Christian

:: 2006 30 June :: 5.42am
:: Music: the shanty(the friday song) Jonathan edwards

its friday finally.
Gonna sit down in the kitchen
And fix me something good to eat
And make my head a little high
And make this whole day complete
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on

Well pass it to me baby
Pass it to me slow
We'll take time out to smile a little
Before we let it go
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on

Well there ain't nothin' to do
And there's always room for more
Fill it, light it, shut up
And close the door
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on

We gonna sit around the kitchen
Fix us somethin' good to eat
And make ourselves a little high
And make the whole day complete
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on

They after i actually looked up the lyrics to this song, i realised its about smoking weed. HA!

2 will hate me | will you love or hate

:: 2006 30 June :: 2.40am

The second time is just as good as the first..... to bad there were douche's who watched it too. damn them for being a douche. oh well. hehe thanks for going guys. great to have someone who actually calls to include me in things. thanks again.

Joey

chelthesmell

:: 2006 29 June :: 4.27pm

I've been thinking...

I've been losing friends left and right. Every move I make could cost me a friendship. I had started watching what I was doing/saying so I wouldn't hurt anybody or offend anyone. I didn't want anyone mad at me and I didn't want any conflict or drama to go on...

Half of the people I used to talk to everyday dont even want anything to do with me anymore. For example:: a bunch of my friends are all going to Lake Michigan on Saturday. I didn't find out until Ashley asked if I was going. No one invited me, no one was going to invite me...

Yet no matter how hard I tried to keep everyone happy, things just manage to blow up in my face. I get fucked over everytime I try to keep something going.

It's stupid...

I'm done with being polite and trying to make people like me.

This is who I am::
I drink, I dont have a problem or anything, I just drink. And I dont party with complete strangers, I have fun with friends that I know will take care of me and make sure nothing bad happens to me.
I'm selfish. I like money. After being so unhappy with my parents being in dept most of my life and always wishing to be someone else because of what they have, I do believe that money buys happiness no matter what anyone says.
I hold grudges easily and for a long time. It takes so long for me to get over something even if it's just a little thing and I know that it will all be cleared up in no time, there's still something inside of me that is pissed and wont let it go.
I have a problem with opening up to people.
I dont cry in front of people. I dont like letting everyone know I have a weakness. I dont like people pittying me. It makes me feel stupid and I dont like that feeling too much.
I'm judgemental but I hate being judged.
I have terrible grammar when it comes to typing things online.
I really dont care.
I'm a procrastinator.
I like things to go my way and no other way.
I get pissed when my plans get ruined.
I'm messy. I hate cleaning.
I dont care what people think of me. I used to but things are starting to change.
You either love me or you hate me, there is really no inbetween.
Mindy and Ashley are my 2 best friends in the whole wide world.
And I have a piece of shit car, but atleast it has a speeddometor now.

So this is who I am. If you dont like it, then oh well.

I can make new friends just as fast as I can get read of them.

I hate saying goodbye. But if people dont like who I am, than I suppose it is time. I'm not going to say I dont need anybody, I'm just need someone who's going to be there and like me for me, no matter what my flaws are.

4 will hate me | will you love or hate

wildthing

:: 2006 29 June :: 4.33pm

Hey yall how are ya?? I'm good i'm up in michigan right now visiting woot! so yeah i'm graduated, and workin my ass off, not goin to college yet but soon enough. well thats about it. lifes about as boring as it gets

10 will hate me | will you love or hate

:: 2006 29 June :: 3.40am

I Love Superman Returns
Ok all I went and saw The Movie of the Year.....

It had so much potential to fail, how can you follow up to Christopher Reeves movies. You cant. Its fact. But somehow they did. I'll admit it there were alot of scenes that made me get a bit teary eyed. I seriously love that movie. I have loved A Walk To Remember as my favorite movie but Returns totally kicks its ass. Gah. I want that costume too. Its so kickass on screen. Damn you Brandon Routh..... not really. Great acting, Great Story, Great everything. If only I can go and watch it again.... oh wait i can.... haha I love being a retard. *Durrrrrrr*

Go See That Movie.... YOu wont regret it.

Joey

kate

:: 2006 28 June :: 6.03pm

I'm in Wisconsin. I live on the beach. I'm the baker. I bake for 170 people. I like it! I can get on the Internet only about once a week and for a little while. I miss some of you. Please write me if you can, I would love it.

Camp Nicolet - Kate Shelton
P.O. Box 1359
Eagle River, Wisconsin 54521

2 will hate me | will you love or hate

:: 2006 28 June :: 4.06am
:: Mood: *happy*
:: Music: *push - sarah mclachlan*

*as my past turns to ashes i build a life i won't forget*
Been suffering the past few days with a terrible headache.
I've tried everything to get rid of it.
And nothing seems to help.
I think the cause of my headache was partly from an over-abundance of unwelcomed, inexplainable stress.
I suppose it's what I get for being a paranoid over analyzing insecure girl who suffers from PMDD.
However, some of my insecurities have been surpassed.
With a little help from my wonderful boyfriend, who I love more than anything.
Saturday night he helped me realize that he does love me, without even saying the three words I want him to say more than anything.
I guess I will just have to deal with it and wait until he is ready to tell me.
Have I mentioned that I'm impatient as well?
Anyway, today my headache eased up a bit.
Even moreso when he surprised me with some good news.
Starting next week he'll no longer be on third shift.
They are transfering him to first.
He's wanted this for so long.
No more sleeping alone at night.
Maybe we can start to have a "normal" relationship for once.

Hopefully tomorrow we go pick up his car or as he says "our car".
He's buying a 98 ford mustang.
Kind of excited because he's going to let me drive it.
I am still in need of a job.
So if anyone knows of anything, please let me know.
At this point I will settle for almost anything.
I'll baby sit all summer if I have to.. Well if the pay is right.. I do have rent to pay.

Tonight I was able to do something that I spent 2 years thinking I was never going to be able to do. Since I got over him, I still had this thought in the back of my mind, that if he were to come back around and tempt me, I'd go running back, with arms open. They say you never forget your first love. Back then I thought he was my first love. But I was wrong. It was just a deep infatuation gone wrong. I finally have the self-control that I was lacking for a long time. I am finally able to say no, to the one person I wasn't able to say it to. He told me what he was thinking, and asked me what I was thinking. The thoughts in my mind were nothing near what he had on his mind. Two years ago or so, they would have been the same. I can finally say this without hesitation. I am completely over him. I will be able to have a friendship with him and not think about what would happen the moment we were alone. The only person I think about in that way, is my boyfriend. The only person I want to think about that way, is my boyfriend. He means the world to me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Some of you may know who him is, infact he may even be reading this. If you don't and are confused, then it's better that way.

And if you are reading this, I am not sorry that you weren't the one on my mind, but I am sorry for the way you must have felt when you found out you weren't. Multiply that by atleast 3, and thats the way I felt for 2 years or so when I thought I had my chance when really I didn't.

I feel quite relieved now.

:: 2006 28 June :: 12.05am

2 things
Okay today has 2 things going on......

first off happy b-day sydney

second happy superman returns day to everyone who actually cares......

saweet

Joey

2 will hate me | will you love or hate

:: 2006 27 June :: 5.58pm

I've been having a rough day so can someone just end it for me...... time has gone by so slow today and i just havent felt like my happy self lately. i dont know whats wrong with me.

eddy	:: 2006 26 June :: 5.47pm If I wasn't a hardcore Misanthropist before.... I certainly am now. 10 will hate me \| will you love or hate

eddy

:: 2006 26 June :: 5.15pm

Trevor Hall - The Aftermath
I sold my shoes,
for a front-row seat on the moon.
Well I've found all that I can save,
and I still got the blues.

See I picked up the blade,
and shaved my beard.
I walked back into town,
with nothin' to fear.

Well I picked up my mess,
and I put it in the ground.
Well I watered it down,
waited for the sea to spill,
to spill. Yeah.

Well silence fills the air when it's raining.
But I don't see anyone complaining. Yeah yeah.
Well truth, it pokes it's head out.
Yeah truth it pokes it's head out.

Well I took my last rose,
And I threw it in the fire.
I gathered all the ashes, yeah.
Started my empire.

What is it to you?
Well man I'll do what I please.
And when I pray for you,
I don't expect you to pray for me.

Well silence fills the air when it's raining.
Oh, but I don't see anyone complaining.
Well truth it pokes it's head out.
Yeah truth it pokes it's head out.

Well I took a bath.
In the constellation aftermath.
When I jumped off that stone,
You see I looked upon this, plastic place, and I saved it with all my grace.

Well silence fills the air when it's raining,
Oh but I don't see anyone complaining.
Well truth it pokes it's head out.
Yeah truth it pokes it's head out. Yeah.

Silence fills the air when it's raining.
Oh but I don't see anyone complaining.
Well truth it pokes it's head out.
Yeah truth it pokes it's head out.

Truth, it pokes it head out....

:: 2006 26 June :: 12.21am

I'm so lost right now
Well let me see.... Jess and I opened up so much to each other tonight. I'm trying to get into college because I feel i'm gonna need it more than I thought. I want to be a better person and i feel thats what i have to do. I'm thinking maybe Emt, Degree of arts, or something else that i'll take that i'll like. oh well i dunno even if i'm smart enough. I guess I'll have to see what they have for financial aid or grants. well I'm gonna go bye all.

JOey

:: 2006 25 June :: 5.39pm

so i need to get rid of a set of centerline auto drag wheels.

15x8.5 (i think) 5-5" lug pattern.
thought they were 5-4.75" but they wern't.
$100 or best
front tires have lots of miles left on them, back need to be replaced.
They came off of a 1/2 ton chevy with a 5 lug pattern.

:: 2006 25 June :: 2.22am

So as most of you know, the last few days I have been questioning a lot of things and looking for answers.
Until today, I was questioning whether or not he really does love me.
I was confused because he's never said it.
Today, he made me realize that he really does.
All it took was the kiss he gave me and the way he looked into my eyes.
The intensity of the kiss was just amazing.
He's never kissed me like that before.
Now I must continue to go sweat my ass off and finish watching the movie I rented.

chelthesmell

:: 2006 24 June :: 3.20pm
:: Mood: hung over
:: Music: bar noices

last night
Well things were fun at Chris's. Everyone had a good time. Granted some people are retarded but oh well. Fuck it. I give up. I'm just not fat enough right Mindy! lol. I really dont fucking care anymore what anyone thinks. Esspecially last night man. I was a bitch. But in my mind, I think I had every right to be. Oh well. What's done is done and it will never happen again. I was stupid and I should have known better. But a little fucking agknowledgment would have made me a little bit happier. Not much, but some. Oh well. I'm going to marry Aj anyways. lol. The love of my life that will never make me work or pay for boose because I'm pretty. lol. I love that kid, I'm going to miss him while he's gone.

Smashly came for a little while yestereday but then she pussied out. oh well...*shrugs* It would have been ten times more awesome with her there though.

I decided that my brother is the only one allowed to know bits and peices about my "party hardy" lifestyle I've got going on. Because my loud mouth sister made the mistake of letting my mother find out about my after prom party experiance. I made it rated pg though for my mothers sensitive ears though. I swear sometimes, I think I just might be able to get away with murder with these people. Unless I killed Neta. Because they like her more than anyone else. whatever...

Welp, that's my life in a nut shell. party last night was fun, party last weekend was fun. except for when I found a few details out about it last night that I didn't know about. That kinda pissed me off. oh well. I'm sure next weekend will be just as fun though, whatever I may decide to do.

:: 2006 24 June :: 4.29am

*things I hate*
I hate my apartment.
I hate the white walls.
I hate living on the second floor.
I hate having to pay to do my laundry.
I hate doing laundry.
I hate my landlord.
I hate that the dishwashers are so loud I can hear all of them in the building.
I hate that the washer and dryer are the same distance from my bedroom at my moms to the bathroom in her house.
I hate that I can't get a kitten, because of my landlord, and my boyfriend is allergic.
I hate that I'm insecure, paranoid and have to sleep alone at night.
I hate that I have crappy hair that is brittle, thin and gets greasy really easily.
I hate that I have to shave my legs everyday in order for them to be soft.
I hate that I get jealous.
I hate change.
I hate that after wearing my glasses for awhile, for like a day it feels like I still have them on, so I am constantly touching my face like im pushing them up when really there is nothing there and then I end up looking stupid.
I hate feeling stupid.
I hate that my car is still broke.
I hate that most my friends won't come see me, I have to go see them.
I hate that hurt my boyfriend.
I hate that I'm allergic to nickel.
I hate that my mother is a fucking psycho.
I hate that gas is so expensive.
I hate stupid people.
I hate people in general.
I hate people who think looks are everything.
I hate people who act better than others just to try and make themselves feel like something.
I hate Jim.
I hate alcoholics.
I hate people who drink and drive.
I hate child abusers/molesters/pediphiles, etc..
I hate drugs dealers, ho's, whores etc..
I hate snow/winter/cold and anything associated with that time of year.
I hate thanksgiving.
I hate that there isn't a cure for cancer.
I hate that no matter what, bad things always happen to good people.
I hate the fact that I never got to say good-bye to my grandma.
I hate that I didn't get to see her that often, and when I had the chance I turned it down.
I hate judgemental people.
I hate anyone by the name of Courtney.
I hate cheaters, and yes, that includes myself.
I hate rich people.
I hate being a girl.
I hate it when people who want kids more than anything end up not being able to have them, while the people who don't want kids, are able to.

That is my list so far. Perhaps there will be a part 2, maybe even a part 3. But for now, I'm done.

chelthesmell

:: 2006 23 June :: 7.43pm

well im at chris' house, sitting on sexy aj's lap. and yeah...that's about it

6 will hate me | will you love or hate

:: 2006 23 June :: 4.56pm

He's never said "I love you".
Hasn't even hinted towards those words.
I keep waiting to hear them.
And because I haven't heard them yet, Im becoming insecure.
I've hurt him so many times, yet we're still together.
Could his way of saying that he loves me, be that he'll stay with me, no matter what?

eddy	:: 2006 23 June :: 1.59pm God..... ....I hate this place and it's stupidity. 14 will hate me \| will you love or hate

:: 2006 23 June :: 1.16am

Wow I cant Wait
wow.....only 5 days left until superman returns. its almost unbearable.

:: 2006 22 June :: 11.45pm

Well so far today, I got my lip split open when Mike and I were wrestling. Took a knee to the face. Took it like a man too. Then we went and looked at vehicles. He claims he's getting a mustang.. So we'll see how far that actually goes. Was asked who Brad was and why he left me a message on MSN that said "Goodnight DEAR". Still have yet to explain that whole story. Mike now thinks that I'm going to leave him for Brad. And I thought I was insecure.

Yeah, thats about all. My lip hurts like a bitch though. It's cut good. Bled for atleast 20 minutes. Time to go watch a movie or the style channel or the CSI espisode I missed, if it's on..

So I got to the root of his unhappiness and sense of insecurity. He went through my phone and read a text message I had sent to Jay that said "I don't like feeling like a mom".

Which is true, I don't. I feel like I have a lot of growing up to do yet, and shouldn't be feeling like a mom. I'm trying to force myself into thinking I don't want kids, because I don't want to turn out like my mom, and I would do anything to be with Mike for the rest of my life, and he doesn't want anymore kids. So he's apologizing for being a burden and making me feel like a mom and whatever other bullshit there is. But really, he's not a burden to me. He's not the one that makes me feel like a mom. It's that I clean all the time, and I have my own place. My apartment seems to get messy like really fast, when its only the two of us, and all we pretty much do is sleep. Hopefully in the morning I can get him to talk to me, and we can talk this out. Things have been going so wonderful lately too. And of course, I have to be the one to screw things up. I love him more than anything.

:: 2006 21 June :: 11.32pm

Conclusion of the day: I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of starting over.

10 will hate me | will you love or hate

:: 2006 21 June :: 4.22pm

Sooo.....
i've been thinking of ditching the cutlass lately for this vega.
its a '76 chevy vega GT
383 stroker
aluminum heads
12.5:1 compression
4:11 gears in a 12 bolt rearend.
4-link suspension
fuel cell
battery relocated to the trunk.
coilover shocks.
guy said there was about 9k into the motor.
run's the 1/4 in 11.5 seconds.

what do you guys think?

:: 2006 20 June :: 7.46pm

including the cost of the car, i've got $1200.07 in reciepts
i lost my $675 jegs reciept though :(