DayDream
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2002 25 November :: 4.15am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Casey Jones~Grateful Dead
It\'s been a while.
I guess i should back up to Thursday seeing as that\'s when anything remotely exciting happened. I get home, call Nathan and we decide to get together. He picks me up, we go to Bread Co. Ran into Carrie Iggulden, yea definitely have seen her in like 4 years. So we get food, er...i did, yea that was kind of awkward. So we sit and talk for a little while which was nice. I haven\'t seen him since last summer which seems odd for some reason. He definitely managed to look incredibly good which made me feel like something the dog dragged in but i eventually got over it. We weren\'t there very long, which was fine...i suppose we were both running out of small talk. Not to mention i was just insanely nervous and intimidated the whole time. So we\'re like a minute from my house and he starts talking about my journal. I guess i had forgotten all i had put in here about him....it\'s a lot, and not exactly all nice. He said something about how he was glad to see it or something, all i could think of was you bring this up now, when we\'re 2 seconds from my house? So we get there and not a single part of me wanted to walk through my door. I knew my mom would be waiting there ready to play 20 questions. So we hug and all i wanted to do was kiss him. Good thing i thought twice, that could have been a horribly awkward-what -the-hell-do-you-think-you\'re-doing situation. So i leave and that was it. I walk in the door and the first thing out of the mother\'s mouth is, \"why are you back so early\" i just looked at her and walked up stairs. Finished the French i swore i had done before i left and took a nap.
Friday night Lizz came over after clever scheming of ditching tom, and this girl courtney. We rented movies and ate pizza all night. It was good.
Saterday the mother decides we\'re going to look at Christmas trees, but not real ones, just for decoration. She got all upset because i didn\'t care if there would be garland around the banisters or not and put those whole dramatic thing on about how i didn\'t care about Christmas anymore and blah blah blah. I think i told her something about how Christmas was in December if she hadn\'t heard and we\'re definitely still in Novemeber...before Thanksgiving. She got all huffy and made me carry this wreath thing around and then decided not to buy it. On the upside i got a new pair of pants out of that day, and saw Harry Potter with Veile, Denise, and these two guys Cj and Steve. I was definitely the third wheel...er, 5th wheel..but it was a cute movie so it was ok.
Sunday i did like 857587 hours of homework and went to this deal with Aggie at her church. There\'s this really sweet guy Joe, i have no idea how old he is.. i thought he was a senior, but that\'s how old his older brother is so i have no idea. Came home, got a migraine, popped some pills, passed out.
Today, was just maybe the longest day in history. I had this crazy English test first hour and I\'ll have another test tomorrow in Geography which will also be first hour. Just my luck.
Blah, i\'m tired and incredibly hungry...
3 Greedy Bastards |
Any Takers?
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leftofcool
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2002 21 November :: 10.10pm
There has got to be a God; the world could not have become so fucked up by chance alone.
-cactus ed
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imation
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2002 20 November :: 2.41pm
I'm a Strawberry Daiqery, discover your ALcoHoLiC personality!
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sunsweet
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2002 18 November :: 6.45pm
:: Mood: horny
:: Music: 99 red balloons
Wow i forgot i havent written anything in a while. Well lemme get ya up to date. i am still with benny, n luvin every minute hehe! I see him a lot too, which is nice. He came over..uh last weekend and the weekend before that. But the first weekend was prob the most fun...teehee. He came over n we ya no did a little hot tubbin..n well we ended up doin a lil skinny dippin u mite say..n well one thing led 2 another n there ya have it! it was quite fun..lol sometimes i dont trust myself in that hot tub, it\'s like sometimes i jus become another person completely. Its jus crazy! hah. but yea then last thurs. he snuck over here n we had some more funn...wow. I think the fact that he was over here when he wasn\'t supposed 2 be made it even more kinky soo..whew. But the scary part was my moms friend barb was next door n i didnt know this....and she called n acted sorta weird but my mom never said anything so...thank god!! my ass woulda been in so much trouble.
But wow...when ben comes over we jus like lay on my bed n cuddle, its soo nice. I think thats my fav thing 2 do..kuz we jus lay there n talk n ya no mayb tickle eachother or something. it\'s just all very cute. I love everything about it.
ohh allie...i think i have my mom talked into it. we are gonna look hot with our bellybuttons peirced this summer...and in MEXICO! OO LA LA...we will be the nazi girl! hah. lol.
1 Greedy Bastard |
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DayDream
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2002 15 November :: 5.06pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: OK GO~You're so Damn Hot
| Yuoo ere-a zee Svedeesh Cheff! Yuoo ere-a a guud cuuk, thuoogh yuoo cun't speek Ingleesh fery vell. Bork Bork Bork! | |
2 Greedy Bastards |
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DayDream
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2002 15 November :: 12.54am
It's 2 am and i'm still awake.
My finger tips are numb from the infinite times I've rubbed over them.
My skin is burning but my sheets feel cold.
I'm dripping memories and wreak of your scent.
It's 2:10 and my mind is racing.
Frantic and anxious.
That night. Our night. It plays like a favorite song over in my mind.
You came for her but I came home with you. And we liked it.
We were a mystery to all.
No one knew me.
No one knows me.
We were our own guilty pleasures.
You kissed my lips now stained with your taste.
I slowly roll my tongue over them so as not to miss a drop of that mystery.
Our mystery.
2:30 and I feel sloppy drunk. My weight is times 5 and I hear the clock tick me farther and farther away.
It took me to the first time I saw you.
You were there with her.
The one you came for.
Your hand was on top of hers while mine was wrapped around a glass of my own personal posion.
You got up and kissed her such a sweet kiss for such a short goodbye.
I took it all in.
The room and all the people littering it seemed to suck all the air out of my lungs.
All I could do was stand and watch and think I was invisible.
Something was now in my hand other then my posion. Slowly my fingers were tied into some large feeling of lust and I was being led my its beholder.
My breath was gone.
I still didn't know who was leading me for the posion had sunk in.
You turned and said
I've noticed you
and flashed me a quick glimpse of who's arms I would later find myself in.
3:00 and I'm playing that song in my head.
I too got one of those short tender kisses. You whispered words that still echo in my mind.
Wait for me.
So I stood frozen in my own self and watched you point to one of those new technological advances and used it as your reason for leaving.
You hugged her and bid everyone a goodbye.
I had my air back, but that would be short lived.
I felt two arms wind around my weist and warm air on the back of my neck.
Follow me.
I could almost taste the words as if I had formed them with my own lips.
We drove for a long while and you laced your fingers back into mine.
No one's home.
You said
and i didn't feel scared at all.
You knew my name and what I liked, and hoped I was going to show up at the girl's house where bodies and bottles seemed to grow straight from the carpet.
3:30 and we've been apart just long enough that I'm longing for you.
I floated through our night.
You played with my hair and told me I was beautiful.
Everywhere you kissed me is like a burning reminder.
I lick my lips one last time just to make sure it's real.
I flip my pillow to find the last cold spot and hit rewind so I can play that favorite song
just one
last
time.
2 Greedy Bastards |
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DayDream
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2002 13 November :: 10.27am
:: Mood: pleased
:: Music: Free~Phish
Ahh, just got home and i still have so much to do. I have an insane french project due tomorrow that i really haven't even started. I should get to that...
So recently i've been trying to talk the mother and father into letting me get my belly button pierced. My mom, well she really doesn't care, but i think my dad's exact words were, "you have to be fuckin shitten me. i would let you jump out of a plane before i'd let you do that."
...he just told me that he had though "long and hard" about it, and decided it's ok. Yet again, hooray for caving 'rents. He said i can get it done whenever...now, the trick is to get Lizzie's mom in the same agreement so we can follow through as planned. (lizz, i hope you're reading this)
A really cool thing happened today...i sent nathan a letter last night telling him about my journal, and he read it. I was amazed, and actually really happy. So Nathan, if you're reading this, thanks.
Well, it seems as though French is calling, ourevoir.
Any Takers?
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DayDream
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2002 12 November :: 6.26am
:: Music: The tv
PiNkDEviL63: oh, well i don't know if you still write..but it's an online journal thing
Dreydawg1: i'm afraid i don't
Dreydawg1: do u?
PiNkDEviL63: yea i wouldn't have thought so...yea
sigh. Nathan Nathan Nathan. He makes me so sad. He used to be such an incredible writer, and he's evidentally, thrown that talent away. I haven't seen him since last summer...it makes me sad to think we really aren't friends anymore.
I talked to Sarah today. I really wish i could just make everything stop hurting for her. She's coming to STL in two weeks...i'm excited. All that matters kinda seems to fade away when she's here...i like that.
The mother's been acting very stange lately. She keeps getting in these odd upset states and will just start crying. She says she's afraid she's losing me. I can't even drive, where does she think i'm going? I suppose i know what she means, just the constant questionsing and her ranting acusastions are getting very old. "you don't like me anymore" or "why don't you talk to me?" argh. It will pass, she comes and goes with this sort of thing.
Exams start in December...i'm tweaked. Tryin to talk the rents into letting me get my belly button pierced. The mother thinks it's hilarious and doesn't really care while my dad thinks it's completely offensive. Sigh, we'll see.
Any Takers?
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imation
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2002 9 November :: 12.05pm
i haven't posted in what seems like forever.... my life has crumbled in the last few weeks, but i'm coming back around... got my nose pierced last night.. it makes me smile. i enjoy it. kissing has to be careful now though... i will be driving in 2 weeks.. that makes me more happy than anything has in months. or something like that. i just can't wait to get behind the wheel by myself (legally) and go somewhere.. anywhere will do... sigh. the weeks go by like thunderstorms...
Any Takers?
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imation
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2002 9 November :: 12.02pm
your smell surrounds me
beckoning me in
i am drowning in a sea of warmth
of wetness
of longing and loneliness
...but you're right here you say...
you're not going anywhere
but i have my doubts
"your taste still lingers on my lips like i just placed them upon yours, and i starve.. i starve for you.."
i am your muse
your moisture
you came along
left me feeling abandoned
when you were sitting right across from me...
i don't know what to think anymore.
i used to sing
melodies echoing through my head
resounding through my lips
..you were my muse
i used to cry...
sometimes i'm not so sure
if i breathe regularly
or if my breath comes only sometimes
when i least expect it
terrifying me all at once
this newfound experience
my anxiety in all its GLORY
keeps me from living
Any Takers?
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imation
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2002 9 November :: 11.55am
:: Mood: indifferent
that night
that beautiful night
lingers in my mind
lingers on my lips
drawn to a smile.
my eyes
tired and gray
but full of you
i believe that
i am in the midst of fighting a war
an intolerable time
your parents return today
your childhood returns
you cry and
you smile
but no emotion comes through to
my visage.
i am moved by your words
but only because i try to move myself.
i make noises and get up
walk around the room to
stare at things
i'm really not interested in
i'll pretend until you look away
you tell me i'm most beautiful
when i don't know
you're watching me
i tell you i'm most beautiful
when i'm in your arms.
i regret saying things like that.
i regret being unoriginal but
when you fill me up
with all that is you
i can't help but to match my breathing
with yours
i can't help but sumbit
i grieve
for everything i cannot be for you
but mourning does not make the sun set
crying does not bring darkness
and you still sit
watching me
i lower my eyes from your gaze
i fell my skin tingle and
i smile.
my body feels so different
when your eyes follow my every curve
every line
every inch
I AM SO AWARE.
i feel my bones
beneath my skin
hard and protruding
i cannot but think
of your hands
wrestling my skin
exploring chartered territory
you mark me with your fingertips
escaping my breaths
marinating in warm prespiration..
i look at you
and see that
just you
and i smile...
you look like music to me
but i still feel like i've never really seen you
1 Greedy Bastard |
Any Takers?
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leftofcool
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2002 6 November :: 8.48pm
 | Which Recurring Kevin Smith Character Are You? Take the test here |
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