I'm a Loner Dottie, A Rebel

:: 2002 6 November :: 4.40pm

trick or treat...
What did the penis say to the condom?

Cover me, I'm going in.

:: 2002 4 November :: 7.33pm

in case someone cares, the new tampax "pearl" tampons are jsut as uncomfortable as all of the other tampax products. fuckers...

imation

:: 2002 3 November :: 7.13pm

Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz

DayDream

:: 2002 3 November :: 11.13am

Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz

:: 2002 2 November :: 4.32pm

so um... i had one of the better halloweens i've had in awhile this year. luckily, the parents were in columbus ohio... so i had a celebratory beer when i got home on thursday. then i had another one. by the time my fourth beer rolled around, angie and colleen had come over. then angie led to ashley... and then ashley invited some lads over... then by the time my 7th beer rolled around i was agreeing to everybody and their aunt that they could come over. thank god only like, 18 people came over. but the amazing thing was i had a great time, there weren't any cops, i dont even think my neighbors knew. unfortunately, my dad slipped up and told my mom. but i had a swell evening and no one got hurt (although we all got trashed) and played drinking games and i have no idea what else. i dont really remember from about 10pm on. i remember talking to my brother in colorado on the phone because all the kids over here wanted to say hi. turns out hes coming in the weekend before thanksgiving and bringing some hawaiian chick... good for him... the best part though, was when i woke up and came downstairs, everything was cleaned up. it then occured to me that i had done jack shit for homework the day before so i pretended to be my mom and called my ass in late. someone did leave a sombrero here though. funny, i dont remember anyone wearing a sombrero...

'happy new years baby
we could probably fix it if we clean it up all day
or we could just pack or bags
and take a train to barcelona cause this city's a drag..."

:: 2002 2 November :: 12.31pm

arg. my mom and our next door neighbor woke me up at 8:30 am, to the lovely sound of HAMMERING. WTF. yea so i didnt get much sleep, thanx 4 that!
So last night i went w/ lauren ray n ben to see the ring. it was deff. one of the scariest movies ever...i mean damn..lol creepy ass movie. heh im gona make allie see it. heh and during the whole movie lauren jus kept sayin "i hate u liz, ahh" lol it was great. so me n ben got comfy gettin close n kinda usin his jacket as a blanket..heh he got so scared 2, it was hilarious. like at this 1 part he almost threw me 10 ft in the air kuz he was so scared. then right b4 an extreamly scary part of the movie...he decides this is the best time to ask me out..heh. n then we both scream..hah but of course i said yea. Im such a softy...i couldnt turn him down. But i hope this works out n we have fun. I jus dont wunna end up hurt n ya no...all that relationship crap. That's never fun. but maybe ill get lucky w/ this one...heh who knows?

ahh so i hafta write a song AND record myself singing it. the song i can either make up or use a song n jus change the words so that they hafta do w/ cells. omg its gona sound terrible. i think im gona do "complicated" i dont even have half of the song written and it's due on monday. SHIT. i really dont wunna do that. fuck fuck fuck. maybe i can pay some1 to do it 4 me? heh...real likely chance o that happenin' rite? yeah. well i wunna go 2 the mall 2day instead of working so maybe ill give Allie a call. kuz i havent seen her in a while n yea im gona do that, lata.

:: 2002 1 November :: 12.51am
:: Mood: giggly

So 2nite was Halloween...wuta night too. So me lar n ray go over 2 tommy's house. It was fun, we hung out there 4 a while n then went outside n met up w/ joe n ppl...i had planned 2 call ben but he was already there. so hey it was all good. So we all walked around n there were like 12 guys i swear n then just me n' lauren. i bet it looked kinda funny. so joe also had some peach shnopps. it was alrite, but i didnt drink that much. We walked in circles 4 a while n jus hung out, which was fun. we walked 2 pauls house and listened 2 steve n his band play a little. but that got stupid kuz i mean it was halloween..n we didnt wunna hear them practice so we left n walked around some more. Then we met up w/ even more ppl which was kool. later we walked over to laurens house n watched sleepy hollow. there were like 25 ppl in her tiny living room 2..her parents r nice! ..n me n ben jus got all close...i 4got how much i missed snuggling w/ a guy. it was really nice, n he knows like where 2 put his hands so i feel all warm inside hehe...to the point where i jus wunna melt. aw hes cute. i think the plan is 2morrow 2 see the ring w/ him n then lar n ray so that should be fun. we'll see where this goes.

3 Greedy Bastards | Any Takers?

DayDream

:: 2002 30 October :: 10.20am

\"Sing me a song\"
what she always told me.
Her eyes would watch me with such great intent, like how a little girl looks at the simplest things in high hope of figuring out its great mystery.
I\'d move my lips and hope some noise would come about. Some sound that wouldn\'t pierce her ears but wrather her mind. Something to remember.
Inhale.
Exhale.
\"Just breathe\"
she\'d say.
\"It\'s just me.\"
She\'d never know how much those words would scare me. Like a popularity contest i could never win. Yet, never hoped to.
I can feel my air leaving my lungs now and racing through my throat.
Eyes shut, too scared to be open.
And my hands. How\'d they\'d shake just so slightly and how she\'d hold them.
\"please, just one. for me?\"
so sweetly said.
To refuse would be harsh, but to follow through would be such tremendous strength.
Inhale.
Exhale.
That smile she gets.
She mouths the words.
She tells me she likes it.
She tells me to do it again.
It feels as though it\'s just to fill up the awkwardness that has lately grown. The random silences that now occur that never used to.
\"you never tell me anything anymore\"
all i can think is i never have anything to say.
How i wish you could see that what you\'ve seen is me. You think there\'s more but that\'s all there is.
You say there\'s alot on my mind.
Just empty spaces and the deep thought process of trying to think of clever and witty things to say. Carrying a conversation now is like an intellectual battle. A battle i\'ll always lose.
I\'ll just sit on the floor, struggling, so as not to be engulfed by the room and the people who spice and flavor it. You say my character is a mystery, like a hard shell that is yet to be cracked.
I try not to laugh and think you silly girl. if you only knew that the reason i am so quiet is by the simple intimidating vibe you posess.
I am always thinking, yes that is correct. I am thinking of ways to match up to your insightful comments and clever remarks.
So now you know.
I am no great person, i am just me.
A simple, mediocre girl who is yet to have her \"shell cracked.\"
Oh, if you only knew.

:: 2002 26 October :: 11.02pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: feel it

So last night was def. confusing. I always wait til the last min. 2 figure out my plans...i g2 stop that heh. Well i had planned 2 do soemthin w/ Allie...first it was the football game, and then the hockey game...that backed out so I went 2 six flags w/ Steve, tom, dan joe..celsi n a bunch of ppl i did not know at all. It was fun...considering the only ride i went on was mr freeze. thats ok tho. Since Steve is not much of a roller-coaster person, we ditched the group n I jus hung out w/ him 4 like 3 hours. heh it was interesting. We walked around 4 a long ass time...n i kinda saw a side to him i had never seen before...I know that sounds funny..but hey it's true. Anyway...so we walk around n i suggest we get ice cream so we do that n sit 4 a while ya no make fun of everyone who walks by or w/e. Then i say that we should ride the train. heh it was cute..we got close n cuddled or w/e while we watched the stupid cowboys shoot eachother...the fire part warmed us up tho. heh n then just our luck...it started 2 rain...which made it even MORE cold! arg. but then we run into joe n tom so we go sit somewhere n i listen 2 all these crazy stories about them watching...porn! i never woulda thought steve of all people. heh guy conversations our soo sick. seriously, i had no idea...i mean i figured they were perverted but wow. so yea that was my friday night...froze my ass off, participated in freakishly weird guy convos. ha. nice.

2 Greedy Bastards | Any Takers?

DayDream

:: 2002 24 October :: 5.10am

I just realized i haven\'t updated in quite a while. Last weekend was fairly insane. Sarah, Conor, and Elyse all drove down to visit and i think we really all had a great time. Dashboard was Sunday night. Wow, that was just one of the most amazing thing i\'ve ever seen. Hot Rod Cicuit, one of the openers, was pretty damn impressive as well.
The mother\'s having a party on saterday which mean i have to clean for it but i\'m not allowed to be there. Or i can \"stay if i really want to.\" or \"can\'t find anything else to do\" right. So, i have to find a way to get out of this house...

:: 2002 20 October :: 3.18pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: bouncin off the walls again

Well last nite was my first homecoming. it was so much fun! I felt kind of rushed getting ready but hey, i still pulled it off. I felt like i looked pretty good. So Barb came over and did my hair around 2:45. It looked really pretty, I never doubt Barb, heh. I had my hair curled n half up all pretty, then lil' curls on the sides of my face. Got lots of compliments on it too. So after i have my hair fixed I go upstairs and put my dress on, and make-up n what not. Allie gets here around 4:05. Cuttin kinda close, but we made it. She did look really stunning, despite what she said. Her hair looked cute, she looked like one of those models u see in the teen magazines, advertising 4 like red hair dye lol or somethin. Lauren got here next w/ Ray, they both looked cute too. No surprise there. Then scott get there n we all take pictures n then head over 2 amanda's house for MORE pictures. But im glad, i cant wait 2 see how they turned out. So around 5:10 we head to Helen Fitzgeralds 2 eat dinner. It was a really nice place n it was fun bein there w/ everyone. We all looked cute, and this old couple behind us even said so. heh i luv that kind of attention. The dance of course was the best part. I met up w/ alyssa who i think kind of got ditched from her group for dinner. heh sux 4 her. Well, at the dance great music played n i dance w/ diff. ppl which was good, heh so i didn't get bored. brad, my dancin' partner. hes always fun. heh i even danced w/ paul. he cracks me up. i danced w/ ben a little, i dn it was fun. but im jus not gettin him heh. im workin on it i guess. o well...lets see..um afterwards Allie wasnt feeling so good so she went home..i couldnt tell if she really felt sick or jus did not wunt 2 go 2 scotts w/ a bunch of ppl she didnt know, or like. hmm i gotta call that girl. but ne ways, i ended up leavin scott's around 12:15 or so. I was kinda wuntin 2 go 2 jeff's w/ Alyssa but she said they all got kicked out at 12. so o well. It's 2 bad its over kuz i had been looking forward 2 homecoming 4 like a while n now that it's over....i dn i wish it wasnt, heh. What a night. cant wait til next year...

:: 2002 18 October :: 10.30pm
:: Mood: horny
:: Music: fuck her gently...(all thanx 2 robz)

So 2nite was our homecoming football game. what a horrible one it was too! ok...we had 2 freakin cheer in the rain. not fun. we were all soaking wet. but o well...thats not even the worst of it. so my mom decides to show up early, like at half time n well im in the alumni w/ kate alyssa n brad\\\'s older brother. lol all hangin out w/ 20 year olds. it was deff. interesting. but ne ways...my mom was there from like 7:45 to like 9:25. i felt very bad. ohh well. So..2morrow nite is HOMECOMING. im very excited...and yet kinda sad im not goin w/ who id really like to go w/. heh im talkin 2 him right now 2....we r gettin 2 no eachother w/ some extreamly personal ?\\\'s. lol o well its fun. omg i would so get on him! one of these days mayb that\\\'ll happen..heh i jus keep cluing 2 him that im interested so hey.

daydream

:: 2002 17 October :: 8.34am
:: Mood: Lonely

So Sarah and crew got in today. Conor's gorgeous and such a nice guy, i'm so happy for her. They picked me up from school and went to Lil's. I was so happy that they were the ones that were there and not my mom. I don't think Conor likes me too much, but he was a cool guy. Sarah, wow. She looked so gorgeous. Her hairs really gettin long now, and she was just so put together and beautiful today. They went to see a movie but i had to come home. We ate dinner and Bread Co. (where i was getting picked up) and as they were leaving she knocked on the glass by were i was sitting and did the whole I Love You motion and i just had to smile. I really want her and Conor to be together, really i do. He's so sweet and good to her and she really needs some one like that. The rest of this weekend should be interesting.

Heh, so my school is now having random dog searchers for drugs. I definitely need to get a new purse not...best part is, it wasn't even mine. Heh.I doubt they'll be as often as Doc made it out to be, but girls are gonna be droppin like flies i can say that much. Ah, i need to do homework, i have a busy weekend.

:: 2002 16 October :: 7.31pm

"Philosophy: The department of unanswered questions.
Religion: The department of unquestioned answers."

-Unknown