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2007 21 December :: 1.40pm
you know, i'm kind of with lindsay on this one.
this is a time for togetherness and love and going out and doing fun stuff.
and when you don't have anyone to have that with, it's a royal pain in the heart.
however, the difference between my situation and the majority of everybody else's, is that i could have had that, and i decided to let it go.
not that i'm regretting the decision. i know i did the right thing. it's just that more difficult to deal with, knowing that i only have myself to blame.
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angel_bob
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2007 20 December :: 12.03pm
I got my grades!
The one class I was concerned about (because I had missed a large number of classes (due to illness and the fact that it was at 8) and you can only miss four before your grade drops (the prof took attendance EVERY DAY)) turned out great. It didn't drop at all and I know I missed more than four. I'm not complaining about that.
Also, there was another class I was slightly concerned about that my straight-As-friend got a C- in. But even that turned out fine.
So, my lame ass gen ed semester was okay. Next semester is pretty much the same so...excitement. Not.
And that's it.
Rumor has it my mom and I are going to bake cookies and wrap presents and go shopping today. I haven't heard from her yet so I'm going to go call her in a bit. I love shopping and cookies so I want to go as soon as we can.
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angel_bob
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2007 19 December :: 9.30pm
The kitties. I now totally understand those people who don't have children and baby their pets.
Here are my babies.
Read more..
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angel_bob
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2007 19 December :: 1.56pm
Christmas stories
My mom would always tell us stories about how forgetful my grandmother would be sometimes. She'd give us the same gifts two years in a row or think she gave us a present that we never got.
One Christmas, she asked my uncle how he liked his new watch. His only response was "what watch?" She forgot to give it to him and found it in the upstairs closet.
Last year, my mom got my brother a cheese cutting board. He likes cheese and kitchen things. A few days after Christmas, we got a big chunk of cheese and Mom suggested Buddy use his new cheese board to cut it. He sort of just gave me and Mom blank looks and said "I didn't get anything like that."
Mom and I exchanged looks and I laughed at her, bringing up the story she always told about my grandma. We searched everywhere for that darn cheese board. I was there when she bought it, it was heavy enough that I remember putting it in the car.
She finally found it in her bedroom closet.
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angel_bob
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2007 15 December :: 3.32pm
The best thing I've read in a long time. It gave me goosebumps.
This is what I want for Christmas. I can't decide which would be better, reading the book or listening to that wonderful radio voice reading it to me.
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spud
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2007 14 December :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: pink floyd - animals
i really like this album a lot. i always have. and somehow it always helps me.
but it doesn't change the fact that i'm sitting in my apartment, now half-empty, waiting for nothing to happen; just as i have been for the past couple of days.
i got a C on my last abelard and heloise paper. my botany professor was not in her office, so i still don't know how i did on my mistletoe paper. i'm not very optimistic though. but i suppose i did alright on the exam, and that should help make up for it.
there's a bunch of cleaning to be done here, but i really don't want to do it.
i can't decide if i want to get out of here and escape from it all for awhile, or if i want to laze around and wallow in it. i don't have any good food here though. i really want some good food, some good company, and just something to make things different than they have been for the past week or so.
yep. and starving kids in africa want food. but just because you want something, doesn't mean you'll get it.
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angel_bob
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2007 13 December :: 9.51pm
WHEN TALKING TO OR ABOUT KYLE IT MUST BE DONE IN ALL CAPS.
THIS IS NOW LAW.
I am done with my exams. The cat is awesome. The Baron is jealous.
If any peeps wanna hang, holla.
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spud
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2007 13 December :: 1.23pm
exams are over. the semester is over. nearly twenty-one years of my life are over. nearly 2008 years have passed since the institution of that which is currently referred to as the common era.
and mostly i'm just tired. i'm sexy, sitting here with my shirtless, pajama-pantsed self, waiting for the next thing to happen. mostly, i'm just trying to figure out what that next thing is, and what i need to do to prepare for it.
edit:
and you know what the worst part is? i'm more than halfway done with college (62.5%, to be exact), and yet i feel as though i'm almost farther from my destination now than i was when i started. i know that's not true, but that's how it feels.
and i know that in the end it'll be over faster than i ever could have realized, and i'll wish it wasn't gone. but right now it just seems so oppressive and eternal, and - horribly - completely useless. i can't help but have this notion that i'm going to graduate and get some job that i could have gotten with a high school diploma, that has nothing at all to do with my major, and be utterly content for all of existence.
i suppose it's not a bad ending. but there's a very expensive extra half-decade thrown in there somewhere.
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angel_bob
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2007 12 December :: 11.58pm
We are getting a new cat tomorrow. He gets fixed tomorrow and then I will be picking him up after work.
If he doesn't die. ha ha jk jk
His name is Nick (ha ha ha ha). This name will be changed (it is, ironically, Nick's turn to name the cat.)
I have talked to The Baron about this so he knows he's getting a younger brother and he needs to be nice to him.
These cats are like our children.
WARNING: CAT PRIVATE PARTS. I would censor it but we're all adults here.
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spud
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2007 11 December :: 12.04am
:: Mood: flusterated
:: Music: our refrigerator
my terrible memory
i feel like someone wanted to hang out tomorrow night, but i don't remember who. there's also the german club christmas party happening at the same time.
and i have my two "hard" exams.
sometimes i suck at life, just a little. it's not like hardcore suckage, it's more along the lines of moderate.
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angel_bob
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2007 10 December :: 12.33pm
I totally cannot remember the password to my icon journal. Bummer. Not that it really matters but I have heard outcries and grumbles.
In other news, we may get another cat today. More on this developing story coming up during Newz at 11 here on WRHG.
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spud
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2007 10 December :: 1.05am
i just turned in the shittiest paper in the world. via email. half an hour late.
...
yep. pretty sure i just nabbed myself a C in botany.
on the plus side, i should do semi-okay everywhere else.
that and i don't have to write any more fucking papers for at least a month.
no really, the shittiest. in the world. paper.
Edit:
1 - i'm enjoying the sudden popularity that my journal has been experiencing. i think it has something to do with a general increasing trend in the overall woohu traffic.
2 - emo philips is currently on my journal header. i like it.
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spud
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2007 8 December :: 3.05pm
There's a penny on the ground, and it's sporting a frown while it's raining outside.
There's another one around, facing neither up nor down, because it is worth two points.
if you were playing horseshoes.
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1010101
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2007 8 December :: 5.23am
Alright, so I typically hate short vague entries, but right now there is simply no way I can detail everything going through my head right now. Maybe I'll try in a bit here. Anyhow, at the moment, I am pissed, so if I say anything stupid, please forgive me. Anyhow, the sum of my thoughts seems to be: I hate this year so fucking much, and I want it to rot in hell. Now many people throw that phrase around loosely, but in this case I mean it to the full extent. Nothing has gone right, everything keeps going to shit, every light at the end of each long shitty tunnel turns out to be a fucking floodlight some asshole left running (oh, and it promptly turns off before I can make use of it), and everytime I feel like things can't get any more stressful, they plummet further into a bog of shit.
What am I stressed about, well, allow me to make an attempt to outline things:
1. I'm changing my major to psych, but I can't seem to get an appointment with my future advisor to discuss what classes I need to take and how to handle the transition.
2. I don't know where I'm living next year. I don't want to be in the dorms anymore. I'm sick of them, they cost as much as an apartment and you live in a poorly kept up closet. I found a possible roommate, but he doesn't want to move into an apartment.
3. I have finals next week
4. I may have failed my software design class. It won't count towards my major, but nonetheless it would be a horrible blight upon my GPA and really bad way to end the year.
5. I'm going to have to work at meijer when I get back home.
6.My love life is a mess (subpoints listed below, everyone grab your notepads)
-I like one girl, I believed that she liked me. She reveals this to me by kissing me before heading off to Japan for a study abroad trip. I decide to hold off on starting a relationship with her until she gets back. I figure if she still feels the same way, then we can date. I found out today from a friend of mine that she is apparently "going to put the moves on" her 'psuedo boyfriend'. Ugh I keep thinking I had to have misheard. Maybe I'm losing it or something. Maybe it's just a dumb fling. Anyhow the only other girl I have a crush on is:
-I like this other girl, she's had a boyfriend for 5 years and he seems kind of lame. Naturally I can't help but think "I could do a better job than him." Still, I think I may just be behaving dumb. They're obviously together for a reason, and I can't compete with it. I'm okay with that. However:
-if there is no possibility with either girl. I am back to square one. Screwed. I'm a 20 year old virgin who hasn't had a real girlfriend since Junior year of high school. Maybe I'm picky, maybe I'm unlucky. Either way, I feel so fucking lonely right now it's insane.
-there's another girl. She says she's loved me for 3 years. I just can't seem to return those feelings. I talked with her not too long ago because I had no one else to talk with. I just had one hell of a guilt trip laid on me. Um, did I mention that we've had sort of an off and on friends with benefits situation going for the last few years? Yeah, that complicates things further and adds to the stress more. Whee.
-not really my love life, but: I'm currently setting two of my friends up as a couple. They're extremely cute and I envy them horribly.
7. I'm trying to write my novel again. It was going well until now.
8. I have to read two novels by next friday for one of my exams.
9. Earlier this week I had a few panic attacks, and I think I may be having one now.
I basically...
...feel...
...shitty.
I'm shivering, though I'm not cold. I may have cried a bit, though that may just be my eyes watering from lack of sleep (I've been a bit of an insomniac lately). If I did cry, that's the only time I've cried in my adult life. The last time I cried before then was in elementary school.
So anyone have any thoughts? I think I may go sleep now.
If you read this all, thanks, and sorry about the annoyingly angsty entry.
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angel_bob
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2007 7 December :: 8.53pm
We're going to see The Golden Compass tonight. I'm very nervous about it and I don't know if I want to see it.
It's my favorite sci-fi book series and I just don't want it to be ruined.
Nick keeps saying that the book will stay the same but it won't. Now I'll forever see those actors when I read the books.
I am, however, excited for the second one. Real excited about how they portray both the knife and the seams in space/time.
End.
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