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2008 20 June :: 8.00pm
:: Mood: Contented
Don't Cross the Streams
RGay: We could play rock band i have a voice like an angel
Emlah: An angel getting it's neck wrung by an angry god.
RGay: Only if he had marshmellow hands :>
Emlah: XD Angry marshmallow god.
RGay: Ghostbusters XD
Emlah: So true. XD
RGay: Just remember em... Dont cross the streams.
My friends are stupid. XDD
Just finished Ironside, the sequel to Tithe, by Holly Black. She writes pretty epicly.
Currently working through Carrie by Stephen King - looove the movie, reading the book.
Need to read more of the NECRONOMICON e--e;
Finally made my little brother's duct tape wallet I promised him.
Hopefully get my business going.
YOU WANT COUTURE, HAND-MADE DUCT TAPE ACCESSORIES?
YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT LADY.
<3
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2008 19 June :: 11.53pm
:: Mood: Cynical, quiet, out of it, etc.
:: Music: Scary Kids Scaring Kids
So it's been like.. forever.
And I think this place might be moar private than LJ. Though I don't want privacy.. or something.
I don't remember.
Hi.
Shit has happened.
A lot of shit.
Maybe I'll spill my guts tomorrow.
.. probably.
Right now, quiet time.
~wavies~
<3
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2007 21 August :: 3.42pm
Wow...I've spent the last two hours reading past entries.
It made me sad cause I really miss everyone, and probably will never talk again to those I miss most.
I've also noticed I've gotten progressively dumber. Uh oh.
Why can't things go back to the way they used to be?
That was 3 or 4 years ago.
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2007 20 March :: 11.42am
:: Music: Yann Tiersen - La Valse D'Amlie
Long time no see
I forgot I still had this thing up...well not really forgot, just didn't know what to write anymore. I can't keep up with the shit in my life, it's going way too fast. It goes fast, but it doesn't end fast...bah.
I'm seriously screwed now though, I dropped out of school again. Their whole system of teaching the students messed with my head, I couldn't take it.
The whole idea of being THAT independant...that's not for me. I need guidance... But still when I looked for that, there wasn't any on that school so yeah. But do I really need to clarify myself for that on here? No. I've told that to many people now, they were curious why I dropped out of school again aswell. Fuck that shit man.
Now I got no money and I'm looking for a job... I went to a ehmmm what to call it in english ehhhh..... I call it tour-day at a school and there were also this police people recruiting. Which I was kinda interested in, you know police...arresting people, keeping stuff in order. Would be kewl I guess and you don't have to spend all day behind a desk unless you want to...
ANYWAY! So since I was 21 years old they said I had some more live-experience then other people...(not the older people ofcourse) so it would be best if I joined them right away instead of taking and orientation course. So they invited me to be shown around their police academy where they train their people. Which is I think pretty awesome, I'm going there on march 26st. If it's gonna be really cool then I think I'm gonna be a cop. It has nothing to do with the thing they stand for, I just need the money and I guess it could be exciting sometimes.
Other then that I had ...a new girlfriend. Petra....it was going on and off all the time with her. She's the girl I cheated with on Gaby. I felt so bad when that happend. But Gaby is gone, all the stuff I got from her are thrown away, trying to think of her as less as possible. Thought Petra is NOTHING like Gaby.
She says she shy but...considering the fact that she loves to go out, hang with guys (more then girls) and dresses in a way that would seem sexual to any guy and girl...my ass if she's shy. So anyway, as jealous as I can be I never could stand the fact she was always chatting to these guys on MSN and shit, I tried my best to just ignore it and not be bothered by it which sometimes went just fine...but she goes on MSN so much...
Then there were these times that she had these guys on MSN and then went to visit them you know just like friends, not a date or anything and then all these assholes tried to kiss her or more... then she came back to me crying... But it's not like she learned from it, she did it about 3-4 times.
It pissed me off fucking good... I just had enough of the whole jealous thing and the way she is. And she didn't like it that I was so jealous over stuff. All in all we were just TOO different and it ended. Now she want's to be my friend...but I don't know if I can take the fact that eventually she'll walk with a new boyfriend again... Can you blame me???
We even talked over getting a house somewhere and become like room-mates or something, I dont know man...it seems awefully risky. I don't think I'm gonna do it eventhough I so wanna move out of this fucking house.
Stuff is just fucked up, so fucked up I'm even gonna see a psychiatrist about things. On april 3rd I'm gonna meet this other girl Iris. We're just gonna watch a movie (Ghostrider) together. I don't take it as a date, just fun. I hope she does aswell cause I'm not really into any love/dating-scenes yet.
I'm sure ill post on this journal again when I feel like, just needed to get this stuff of my back for now.
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2007 6 January :: 8.57pm
I really like how I come back here like once a year and update.
Well here is me now:
I'm still with my boyfriend. It's been two years. Crazy talk.
I think this Woohu is like an STD. I just can't get rid of it.
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2006 4 December :: 9.49pm
:: Mood: Sad, depressed, etc.
RYAN, I LOVE YOU, YOU RED HEADED TWIT.
The Mouth of the Rat – Police on Monday continued to investigate a collision that killed a 16-year-old bicyclist over the weekend.
Officers said the fatal crash occurred at Glades Road and St. Andrews Boulevard around 8:23 p.m. on Saturday while the driver of a Mitsubishi SUV -- Audrey K. Ives-Smith, 47, of Wellington -- was westbound on Glades.
At the same time, Ryan Hruska was northbound on St. Andrews on his Huffy bicycle.
At the intersection, police said, the front of the Mitsubishi collided with the right side of the bike.
Hruska was pronounced at Delray Medical Center a short time later.
Ryan.
December 2nd, 2006
You fuck. I miss you so much already, and it's only been an hour since I learned of your tragedy... You poor boy. You poor, beautiful boy. I'm sorry I yelled at you for dumbing yourself down and switching schools, though I wish you stayed with us. Oh, Ryan.. I hope you're okay 'up there'.. strangling puppies.. or pointing and screaming "He's drowning!" Oh my god, do I love you T---T You're the only one who could go out riding a pink Huffy. I can't even taste my Dr. Pepper. I've been crying since I heard you died from Victor. Please, let this be a cruel, terrible, practical joke. Haha.. hidden cameras, you saw Emily break down in tears, funny funny.
Can you come online and laugh at me now..?
Please..?
Ryan Hruska, I love you and I'll miss you so much.
<3<3<3<3<3<3
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2006 15 November :: 1.13am
Who gives a flying fuck about you anyway? Aslong as they got something/someone to put their shit on. And if you tell them how you think about it, ITS YOUR FAULT! YOU MADE THEM FEEL GUILTY! YOU HURT THEM! It ...is....all...your....fault.
Yeah well maybe it is my fault and it happens over and over and over and over again cause I always seem to hurt people.
I tell them "I think it's best if I should stay alone". But they say "No of course not ^^".
But what do they know....
Eventually they will bugger off. Cause mostly what you want, is not always what's best for you. Then again.....what is best for you?
I don't wanna face it all alone. I wan't someone I love with all my heart. I want someone to hold. I want someone to sleep with me at night. I want someone that makes me feel like I don't have to face everything alone. I want to stop being jealous. I want to stop hurting people...
But all of those things are like miracles and will never happen.
Understand why live sucks.
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2006 24 October :: 9.50pm
:: Mood: POTC e---e
:: Music: Barbossa is Hungry - Klaus Badelt
Something I wrote during Computer Class. xD
DEAR JOURNAL.
I LIKE THINGS THAT ARE GOOD. LAST WEEK WAS VERY EXCITING. TO ME AS A PERSON I ENJOY MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF FOOD. MY FRIENDS AND I HAD TO GO TO THE COMMUNITY HIGH SCHOOL’S FOOT BALL GAME. I GO TO THE COMMUNITY HIGH SCHOOL. IT IS NICE AND THERE ARE A LOT OF DRUGS THERE. YAY FOR DRUGS. ANYWAYS, LIKE I WAS SAYING, IN OTHER WORDS, SO ON AND SO FORTH. NAOMI AND I PLAYED THE CLARINETS THAT WE OWN. THEY ARE VERY AMAZING AND GOOD. LIKE THE MANY TYPES OF FOOD. NONSENSICAL. ANYWAYS. IF YOU EAT THE MUSHROOMS, YOU WILL FLY TO THE SUN AND DANCE WITH THE SOLAR FLARES. A LOT.
IN THE END, WE ARE NOT ALONE. LAST WEEK, JADE WENT HOME WITH NAOMI AND I AFTER THE GAME. WHICH WE WON WITH. IT WAS VERY HAPPY. OF COURSE, YOU ARE BETTAR THAN NATASCHA’S NONSENSICAL PIECE OF LIPPY NONSENSE. ENJOY THE PANTS A LOT. ARARARARAR. YES, SO, WE WENT TO BED VERY AT THE LATE AT NIGHT. IT WAS SLEEPY SLEEPY TIME. THE AMAZEMENT. BONJOUR, JE M’APPELLE EMILY. J’AIME MANGER ET DANCER. BIEN VENUE! CRACK IS BAD.
I AM NOT RETARDED, BUT NATASCHA IS. NAOMI LIKES TO DANCE, TOO. SO ON SATURDAY, JADE AND I WENT TO THE MALL TO FIND JENN A BIRTHDAY PRESENT. RJ WORKS AT CHIK-FIL-A. WE WAITED UNTIL HE WAS FINISHED WITH HIS SHIFT AND THEN WE WENT TO THE BATH AND THE BODY WORKS AND THEN WE SAT AT A TABLE IN THE FOOD COURT AND READ MANGA.
MRS.HABIDASHER WENT TO WINDOW AND LOOKED OUT OVER THE DANK, SPRAWLING, SNOW-BLANKETED LAND, LETTING OUT A DISCONTENTED BREATH. “HOW COULD JAMES BE SO LATE,” SHE ASKED NO ONE IN PARTICULAR, SEEING AS SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE ROOM. SO JADE AND I WENT TO JENN’S AND JENN HAS A LARGE DOG NAMED MAGENTA. ANEMIA IS A BLOOD DISEASE IN WHICH THE BLOOD CELLS CAN NOT DEVELOP FULLY. JENN LIKED THE KINGDOM HEARTS MANGA AND THE CAT EARS AND TAIL WE HAD RETRIEVED FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE BEAST NAMED BEELZEBUB. HE HAD HEART BURN, POOR DEAR.
SO THEN JENN, JADE, GABBY, ERIN, AMANDA, MRS. KRAMINGTON, AND I WENT TO FRIGHT NIGHTS AT THE SOUTH FLORIDA FAIRGROUNDS. SUPER FUN. I WOULD POINT OUT ALL THE SCARERS AND THEY WOULD SCARE ME NONE THE LESS. I AM A VERY SCARYD. NATASCHA’S INNER THOUGHTS CONSIST OF “MMMM, BURGER.” WTF IS THAT. I DO NOT KNOW. MRS. HABIDASHER WAS EXTREMELY PRETURBED THAT IT WAS HALF PAST THE HOUR OF FIVE AND HER DARLING JAMES HAD NOT ARRIVED. THAT DOOR OVER THERE IS 1312A. SIMPLY AMAZING. I LIKE TO TYPE A PAGE OF SIMPLE SORTYSLSD. LSD. NO GOOD. BAD TRIP, AM I RIGHT? ELI IS ONE CRAZY PIECE OF NONSENSE.
LOVE,
EMILY
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2006 12 October :: 9.55am
It's been forever since I actually posted something here.
Things have gone downhill so much, after Gaby left I lost love aswell. I will can never love Petra as I loved her. I don't think I can love anyone like that ever again and it bothers me.
School isn't coming along very well either. I got through the first year, but the second year just went bad again...
I'll probably drop out...again. I wish everything could just be good for once. Having a nice girlfriend that I can say I love her without wondering about it if I'm not sure about it. An education which I actually like or a well-paid job that doesn't make me feel like I live to work. But none of that will happen anyway.
It would take a fucking miracle. So maybe hell and heaven don't exist.
A good life is heaven and a bad life is hell. That would also explain the reincarnation thing if you ask me. I just wish I could feel without worries, that everything would go smooth. I don't know what else to do.
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2006 9 October :: 9.23pm
:: Mood: Yey!?
:: Music: Cradle of Filth <3
Okay, so, my birthday party..?
Severly awesome. If you missed out, you're gay and fuck you. Kthnx.
Anyways. It was themed the Twisted Teaparty, Alice in Wonderlandish, annnnnd.. BOY WAS IT A LOT OF WORK. XD We changed my backyard into a huge maze, omfg. It took ALL day to put up. Then the Queen of Hearts (JADE) didn't show up forever so she didn't get to sit in her little place and laugh at people if they actually got to her.
Psh. Tft.
ALL day I was liek "Jade, if you need a ride, we can pick you up" and she's liek "What kind of toothpaste do you use?" "Let me call my mom" "I have a lot of homework, Em..."
TCHHHHH.
o--o
Trying to blow off my GODDAMN birthday party.
Ass hole.
In the end, she came at 10 and left at 12 and looked amazingly hot inbetween, even though she wasn't.. wearing panties..? o--o;;;;
Wtf? <--<
Yah. No. Whatever. XD
I had a lot of fun and so did everyone else so YEY ^^ As I said before, if you didn't come you're gay and fuck you.
Except for Oscar. He was recovering from getting his appendix taken out =x
And maybe David. He didn't have any way to get directions. Maybe.
BUT THE REST OF YOU ARE GAY.
<--<;;
I mean, 17 out of 40, come on. XDDD
Not only that, but 2 people I invited THAT night. Liek, Andy-kun called and he was liek "What's goin' down" and I'm liek "Oh, my birthday party, wanna come?" and he's liek "Sure, I'll be there in an hour" and I was liek "Awesome."
Then there was RJ, I called him and I was liek "Come to my house, okay?" and he did!
And then there was KEITH who wasn't even going to come 'cause he hates me and wants me to die - he hurried over so fast he didn't even bring any shoes. xDD
<3 you all.
Yah. You're forgiven-ish. =x
NYMPHETAMIIIINE. o--o
HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS THIS FRIDAY
^---------------------------------------------^
YEYYYY!
I'm SO EXCITED AHH.
Score.
xD
<3
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2006 24 September :: 4.46pm
:: Mood: Indifferent?
:: Music: Some nonsense my dad's listening to.
So yesterday..
Was good.
I needed that. A good day off with a friend and a bit of retail therapy, before something of a night out. It was theraputic.
I struck out with this kid named Matt on Friday - it was pretty ghey - so I wasn't feeling too good, miriet?
So after school around 5 I walked to Eli's house. His mom wasn't having a good day either -- it was the anniversary of her marriage. She's divorced now. Poor lady. So yeah. He showed me the stuff he got while he was in Japan over the summer. It was pretty great.
I walked home just before 6 and watched gramma make dinner with my mom. What are we going to do when she leaves? Die, probably XD Yuh. So then we ate and then good ol' Gram, ma, and I went to Target.
I saw Heather! ^^ Yeyyyy! She works at Target. Good stuff. So I found a bunch of the CUTEST beads - colored mini dice, animals, stars, hearts, letters, all sorts of stuff - for a buck a box. Totally stocked up. Kandi tiiime. I looked at all the Halloween stuff and sweet god. Do I love Halloween. It's just so.. great. I bought a couple of black metal lanterns - so cute. Omfg. I love them. I got some black and orange tea lights, too ^^! Yeyy!
So we bought all our nonsense and it was 'bout 10, and we were right near Jade's. So I called her, but she didn't pick up. We drove over anyways and I tried to get in, but it was all locked up. Jade was asleep, of course, 'cause she sleeps all the time, but never when one should. =p
Ennnyywaayyys. I went home. I went on the computer for a bit but I was too bored. 'Bout 12 I went into my room and beaded 'til 1. I made a cell phone charm thing =x It has a purple turtle on it ^^
So I woke up 'bout 11:30 the next morning and got dressed. I ate a couple pieces of toast and we went to pick up Naomi. Gram, ma, Na, and I stopped by the Boynton mall on our way home to get to the Hot Topic 'cause Naomi wanted to try and find a purple corset there for her Cheshire cat costume ( since my party's on the 7th of October ) and yuh. She ended up finding a corset and a dress in Charlotte-Russe -- cutest little things ever. She's so adorable. I love Naomi.
I tried on some stuff there, too, but I'm too fat for everything. It's really depressing.
Anyways. We went home and watched Benchwarmers -- funniest shit ever. I loved it. Afterwards we chilled with the family and then left for the show at Boomers at 8. Chris got us in without having to buy bracelets, but we had to hide our wrists the whole time. We finally decided we didn't feel like waiting until 10 for [dot]EXE to play, so we walked over to Muvico and found Andrea and her boi. We got tickets for The Covenant at 10:45 - so we really could have stayed for [dot]EXE - and took some pictures in the booth. Cutest stuff in the world.
The Covenant was fucking awesome. So. Great. And all the actors were really. Hot. And it was awesome. So good e-----e I would watch that again. A few more times.
It was cool because it kind of interlocked with The Crucible - a play about the beginning of the Salem Witch Trials - that Na and I are reading in english. We're just liek "OMFG, PUTNAM BARN" -- it was great.
We got out at 12:35 and decided we'd have to hang out with Andrea more often 'cause it was a lot of fun. She invited us to go out to eat or something 'cause we really didn't feel like going home yet, but knowing my pole-up-her-ass mom she wouldn't let me do a damn thing like that. Especially since that weekend of mass destruction. She was so paranoid about Na and I leaving Boomers to see a movie. She's liek "Are you sure..? Are you sure you're doing that?" and I was just waiting for her to ask if I was lying.
It's hard not to sound suspicious when people are suspicious of you. It sucks.
Yeah. So we went home and went on a walk for a half an hour 'cause we really didn't feel like being pent up yet. Of course, my mom got suspicious about that, too. I might as well just walk around with a lie-detector hooked up to me so she can see if I'm lying or not. Maybe then she'd trust me a bit more.
I doubt it.
Anyways.
We came back and I beaded for an hour or so, and Naomi worked on her play and then we went to bed.
We got up at 12 and Na went home about 3:30 - 4. I made a shelving unit and cleared out some boxes from my room and now Jade and I are talking about self-pity.
I feel really skeptical right now. Or judgemental or cynical or something. I don't know. But not really.. nice. Maybe.. indifferent.
I suppose I don't care..
I don't know.
<3
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2006 31 August :: 10.38pm
:: Mood: Sweepy. Excited.
:: Music: Dance. Hoho.
Omfg. Jade's hint. XD
Jad: The hint lies between that which is not yours
Jad: That's my hint. =3
Em: Between that which is not mine
Em: God, Jade. WOW. THAT. Is deep.
Jad: Are you teasing me.... T--T
Jad: I tried to make a good riddle.
Em: No, honestly, I'm baffled XD
Em: Between that which is not mine. Sooo.. it's between hot-freshman-Matt's legs.
Em: 'CAUSE THEY AREN'T MINE.
Em: LAWL.
Em: Or someone else's legs for that matter
Jad: Eh... I guess it was too vague
Em: 'CAUSE THEY AREN'T MINE, TOO.
Jad: The item is within your possesion
Em: ..
Em: So if I already have it, then why would you get it?
Jad: No, no, no.
Jad: The hint lies between that which is not yours.
Em: .. WHAT?
Jad: And that which is not yours is in your possesion
Jad: Now your hint isn't as cryptic
Em: Wow. Really?
Em: xDD
Em: I DISAGREE, MY FRIEND.
Jad: Well.
Jad: I narrowed it down a bit
Jad: The hint is in your possesion
Em: That which is not mine is in my possession.
Jad: Mmhm
Jad: It's the hint
Jad: You have the hint
Em: That's the hint?
Em: That I have a hint?
Jad: No.
Jad: The hint, whether you realize it or not, is in your possesion.
Em: Oh, so I liek.. know the hint, but I don't realize it?
Jad: No. You might not know the hint.
Em: Wtf.
Jad: Look back.
Jad: Into times long since past.
Em: It's not clothes.
Em: It's my concert ticket.
Jad: No.
Em: Times long since past.
Em: Are you liek.. Gandalf now?
Em: XD
Jad: She is the sun, and the moon.
Em: Juliet.
Em: But the moon is envious of her.
Em: Sailor Moon.
Em: 'Cause she's FIGHTING EVIL BY MOONLIGHT. WINNIN' LOVE BY DAYLIGHT.
Jad: She is the mother.
Jad: She is the creator.
Em: ... The earth?
Em: GAIA
Jad: Unable to be tamed, is this one.
Jad: Alright
Jad: I'm tired of being cryptic
Jad: That's all I'm telling you
Em: Wtf, no, I like when you're cryptic. IT'S FUNNY
Jad: Psh.
Jad: You cracker.
Jad: I wonder if you'll get this when I give you your present
Jad: You should save this conversation
Em: I plan on it
Em: More because it's hilarious
Jad: Why?
Em: It just is
Jad: Mmkay
Jad: Oh, oh, oh.
Jad: My last hint.
Jad: She is The One Who Is All
Em: WTF
Em: XDDD
Any help? XDDDDD
<3
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2006 27 August :: 6.07pm
:: Mood: Rushed
:: Music: Dance, of course.
Character List for The Twisted Teaparty
The Twisted Teaparty is the theme for my sweet 16 ^^ It'll probably take place the evening of September 30th, save the date? Here's the character list, taken and not, and some ideas for the costumes. Each character has an alternate for the opposite sex.
<3 Girls <3
Alice - Moi =p
Alice Sister - Amanda
Dinah - Karina ( Alice's cat )
Cheshire Kitty - Naomi
Mad Hattress - Michan ( I have hats you can use. )
March Haress - Gaby
Miss Walrus
Dormouse - Jenjamin
Blanc ( female white rabbit ) - Lonilu
Miss Pillar - Dylia
Tweedle Dee - Anita ( I have hats you can use )
Bell the Lizard - Sexye Melissa
x Boys x
Alix - Vince
Alix's Brother - Victor
Din - Eddie ( Dinah's alter-ego )
Cheshire cat - Warren
Mad Hatter - David W. ( I have hats you can use )
March Hare - Juliano
Walrus - Eli
Moze ( male Dormouse ) - Villex
White Rabbit - Evan
The Caterpillar - Josh
Tweedle Dum - Ryan ( I have hats you can use )
Bill the Lizard - Bill
CARD SUITS
Hearts:
King: Diego
Queen: Jadera
Ace: Adrian
Spades:
Queen: Natascha
2 of Spades: Ducky
Ace of Spades: Gabe
Diamonds:
King: Nick
Queen: Lindsay
Ace: Kim
Clubs:
King: Chris C.
Queen: Nox
Jack: Uh.. Rachel's date
Ace: Rachel
THERE YOU HAVE IT?! People who KNOW me, have met me, been to my house before ARE INVITED. Leave a comment if you know who you want to be and you'll be added.
<3
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2006 22 August :: 6.52pm
:: Mood: Somewhat disheartened nao xD
:: Music: Jade and some nutso song with cows
OMFG, EDDIE.
Eli: HE'S SO HAWT OMG
Eli: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
Emleh: I KNO RIET.
Emleh: Lmfao.
Eli: HIS SHARP FEATURES
Eli: CLOTHING
Eli: AND DARK SKIN TONE
Eli: MAEK THE MOST EROTIC MAN MIRITE?
Emleh: AND SUPER GREAT EMO GLASSES.
Eli: YEAH
Eli: FUCK CONTACTS
Emleh: AND GELLED HERRS. OF GREATEST AND DEEPEST NOIR.
Emleh: AMAZING.
Emleh: SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL.
Eli: URITE
Eli: AND HE'S SO AWESOME MIRITE?
Emleh: URITE.
Eli: I JUST WANT HIS BIG FAT DICK INSIDE MY ANAL CAVITY MAKING ME BLEED
Emleh: XDDDD
Emleh: I KNO RIET.
Taking the joke too far? XD Well. There was my eventful after-school-ness. I suppose. I spent like.. two and half to three hours on homework. I listened to my P!ATD CD like.. four times. xDD S'gewd. And I can sing to it. And I like that.
School's good. I like it so far. I know. You're liek "YOO LIEK SKEWL?! SHWAT." but hey.
People watch. Constant friends. Eh, reasonable amount of eye-candy, gets me out of the house.
So there.
Lmfao, I got invited to go to AUSTRALIA this summer. It sounds like a shit load of fun an all, not to mention the credits, but we'd be outside like.. the whole time. I'd probably die. Kthnx.
It probably costs a lot too.
So there.
<3
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2006 14 August :: 7.47pm
:: Mood: Reflective?
:: Music: 1 Night in Bangkok - Vinylshakerz
Scribbles before bed last night.
Yes, so, well. Hmn.
School is starting in two days. And I'm in for it. This will probably be a hard year. And I don't even know what to major in in college. Paranormal sciences? Art? Language? I don't know like.. anything. I'm lazy and self-centered. Indecisive. But perhaps I'm absorbing these things into myself to have limites.
I limit myself a lot.
Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should change. Maybe I'll like it.
Maybe is the key word. It shows my doubt of these new hypotheses. At the same time, it's trying to weaken my limitations. I've already weakened one - my limitations towards other people intimately. And one might supposed that's the first step..? Perhaps I'll meet some one who will break down my other barriers.
I've met people, but apparentally they weren't the right ones. Though I wanted them to be. I thought they could help due to their experience with substances, though I guess - ultimately - I'm attempting to give into peer-pressure by hoping to break these 'barriers'. It's expected of me to abuse substances, not really by my friends, but by the youth of society.
But I can't say I am what people expect.
<3
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2006 10 August :: 4.11pm
:: Mood: Giggly, unpack-ee
:: Music: Waking Up Beside You - Stabbing Westward
ECKS DEE.
Eric: i luv u
Auto response from Emila: What?
<3
Eric: y did u crush my <3
Eric: you broke my life
Eric: foiyuyuyuyu
Eric: uyuyyuuyyydfgjkdkyh
Emila: LMFAO
Haha, you remember that guy ^^ I asked him to go out with me and then I was liek "JUST KIDDING LAWL." And he was liek "WHUT. I knew yoo were." Greatness ^^
Anyways, I'm unpacking my room. My dad said that's how I could have a party tomorrow, getting everything back in my room. Though I don't know where it's all ganna go =x
I went and got my schedule today e--e;; S'good. But I didn't get Portfolio 1! She wrote me down in the 40 she could take and I was like.. number 17! WTF MRS. KRUG. >----<
I submitted a schedule changer but if it doesn't go through, I'm gonna go into Mr. White's keyboarding class. >--<
Ms. Kunf taught that scary Lehrman Saturday class I was in. I am not going to have fun this year.. ~sighuu~ It will be much work.. T---T I'm going to hurt.
So yeah. If you haven't heard about tomorrow evening and you've met me and/or have been to my house before, I'm tossing a "Shit, school's here" party at 6 or 7 pm 'til about 11 or midnight-ee. Ish. So come if you can. And bring some crowd-quantity snack-ee foods. Because you love me and don't want me to buy a million dollars worth of food.
Oh yeah, no substance abuse during or before this dig, please.
I don't like it. Seriously. And I will rip you apart. Seriously.
And people will help me because they love me.
Seriously.
<3
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2006 7 August :: 10.16pm
:: Mood: Giggly. Cramped. =x
ECKSEFFDEEOHMIFUGUHBARBEEQUESAUZ.
Potate: Max and Matt just totally came over to my house
Banann: And made out, riet?
Banann: XDD
Potate: And then they tatooed each other with their make shit tattoo guns
Banann: XDD
Potate: And then Matt asked me to if I was a virgin
Potate: And when I said yes he asked me to fuck him
Potate: And then you came up and he was like "Yeah, I totally almost fucked her."
Potate: Then your virginity was disputed
Banann: Wow. XD
Potate: I kno, riet?
Banann: Truth.
Potate: Then Matt asked me to make out with him
Banann: Matt almost fucked me or Max? o--O
Potate: Then they left
Potate: You
Banann: ?
Banann: Matt?
Potate: Matt almost fucked you, you tard
Banann: I've like.. seen him four times since goddamn middle school XD
Potate: xD
Banann: AT BOOMERS NO LESS.
Potate: lol
Potate: Great, eh?
Banann: Wow, I must have been knocked out or something
Banann: PASSED OUT AT BOOMERS.
Potate: Max doesn't think you're a virgin xD
Banann: XDD
Banann: The love is strong
Potate: I was like "Yes she is."
Potate: And he was like "Barely."
Potate: And Matt was like "Oh so she took it up the ass?"
Lawl.
I love me some Potate.
<3
P.S. Room's done ^^ <3
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2006 16 July :: 5.08pm
:: Mood: Jet-lag
wo0t
Back in my own damn house ^^ I just got home from Michigan ( I left Friday evening and returned Sunday-day) annnd.. yah.
It was fun.
So yeah. Last you heard from me was.. Friday. Okay. So I went to Roadhouse with my dad and we had the habanero chicken sangwiches which really weren't that spicy at all, then he dropped me at Jadie's which wasn't too far away. The Jadelaloo and I rejoiced and then - as a Jade came home and Emily's leaving present - we got to babysit her baby sister!
YEEEY.
Lmfao. So yeah. We fed the welp of our affections and bathed her and put her to sweepy-Bees. Then we watched TV and movies and Jade and I simpy adore "The Little Princess." That movie is so good. o--o So Kimmeh came home and it was her neighbor David's birthday. We went outside to congregate at all hours of the night with his friends and he - like we usually do. Yap.
Anyways, I went home at liek.. 2 am. Jadie was out so I went to sleep and then we got up and went to see "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest"! ^^ Jadie dressed liek a pirate ^^!!! And I gave her a braid. Yah. S'good.It kinda went to shit went my dad got to Kimmeh's and Jadie and I were still at the movies. He was a bit flustered about that, but we ended up getting to the airport with just enough time. Southwest is a hippie airline o--o They believe in free seating, so if you ever fly with them with other people whom you'd like to sit with, try to get into group A. Lawl. My dad sat infront of me 'cause everyone like.. took up the aisle seat and the window seat, not the ones in between, so those are the ones my father and I got.
Omfg, so we're in Detroit and it's 12 am Saturday morning and the Avis bus takes us to the rental place and the line is taking for fucking ever. I'm just like.. dying. Because I want to get to my grandma's. We finally get a damn car and we ended up going the wrong way. Thankfully I'm a genius and told my dad to turn around and we got on the right track. So we get to grandma's at liek.. 1 - 1:30 am. And I slept on a couch. ^^
NINE FUCKING AM. Bright and early, bitches. o--o Yeah. I slept like.. 8 hours. It's a miracle. I usually soak up 10-12. Anyways we ( my chick cousin, her friend, my brothers, and I ) are assigned the "DISTRACT YO GRAMAMMY" mission, so we go to the mall with gramma ^^ Kristen ( my cousin ) and Kelly ( her friend ) disappear into Hollister and all of those skin-severing boutiques and my brothers, grandma, and I just kinda wander around. Then we find a Hot Topic <3 My mom only gave me 30 dollars .__. and it was a STRONG debate between the Jack Sparrow messenger bag ( which was REALLY HOT ) and this cute little pinstripe vest.
The pinstripe vest won. Emily likes vests. So I purchased, ending up having to borrow a buck from my brother, and then we went to the food court to continue our stalling. We munched Taco Hell and talked about birthdays, because that's all of what us kids were thinking about since we were keeping our good ol' g-ma out of the house for -- surprise birthday party set up. Our grandma tapes together the amount of ones ( $15 for a 15th birthday ) together for us and sends it to us and we're liek "WOULDN'T IT BE SO FUNNY IF WE DID THAT FOR YOU, GRANDMA? 70 BUCKS TAPED TOGETHER, HAHAHA." and we were having a good old laugh about that.
Because we did tape 70 bucks together.
"HAHA, WE COULD LIEK.. HANG IT ON THE WALL OR SOMETHING. HAHAH."
Which we did as well.
XDDD We are sou good. So finally the stalling ends and we head home and David ( one of my brothers ) almost fuckin' ruins it. My dad was texting him and David reads out loud "Message me when you get to the picket fence, what? Dad, gawd, leave me alone!" and I reach my hand behind J ( my other brother ) and smack Dave and Kristen and Kelly are freaking out, thinking that my grandma caught on but apparentally she didn't 'cause she was pretty damn surprised when she walked in the house. XD
Poor dear started crying, it was so sweet. So yeah, frolicing and mischief and "Barbie's Fairytopia : Mermaidia" ensued with younger chick-cousins. Annnd.. I hid in the basement and drew and listened to Panic! At the Disco. xDD I'm good. Then there was an 11 pm McDonald's run because Taco Hell wasn't enough deep-fried fat for stick-twins Kristen and Kelly. I tagged along because.. I'm a girl. o--o;; Perhaps. >--->;
So yeah. Got up this morning at fucking 8 am and went to the air port. Things went pretty smoothly. I slept through both flights pretty much. And here I am. My ears are still popping.
Much love, dawlies.
<3
o--o
Nyah.
<3
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2006 8 July :: 7.35pm
:: Mood: Profound?
:: Music: The Medallion Calls - POTC 1 sound track ( Thanks Michan! <3 )
Goodbye sweet paradise..
.. of my room.
T---T
For liek.. a week or two.
x---x
Still going to be crazy.. Nyahh..
New furniture and stuff o--o;;
I LOVE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN.
^^
<3<3<3<3
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2006 7 July :: 11.47am
:: Mood: WOW.ed.
Emily on Pirates of the Carribbean II: Dead Man's Chest
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.
NOT ONLY.. wAS IS BEAUTIFULY.. BUT..
OH. MY. GOD. o------------------------------o
Alright, so I went last night at 12:01 am to see it with the twin-things and Stephen and I met Michan and Chris there and WOAHHHH.
IT WAS.
SO GOOD.
The twinners, Michan, and I dressed up.
xDDD
And I totally have pirate hair right nao.
OH
MY
GOD.
THE MOVIE. WAS THE SO GOOD.
SO GOOD.
GO.
NAO.
SEE IT.
AHHH.
O----O
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god!
~will cut off so you're spared any further god-ing~
<3
P.S. OH MY FUXXIN GAWD.
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2006 28 June :: 7.35pm
:: Mood: Grossed Out.
:: Music: Your Eyes Open - Keane
EW
Stephen the Lion: its funny how you never notice how many socks you need till you start packing for a vacation
Emleh: XD
Stephen the Lion: then its like "dude, where are all my socks?"
Emleh: I think that's like.. the only cute thing you've ever said
Stephen the Lion: hahaha
Stephen the Lion: so, now you think im cute?
Emleh: No.
Emleh: I thought that what you said was cute.
Emleh: But that's it.
Stephen the Lion: mabye we should get togeter sometime?
Stephen the Lion: awww
Emleh: ...
Emleh: Wow. Umn... No..
Stephen the Lion: haha
Stephen the Lion: your so silly when you react like i was being serious
Emleh: HAHAHAHHA.
Ew.
He was definitely being serious.
x---X;;;
BLAH.
'mabout to go to Linxx0rs.
<3
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2006 25 June :: 6.36pm
:: Mood: Hyper. xD
:: Music: Boys. DOOJE DOOJE.
Dood.
My tonselitis is liek.. Almost gone. ^--^ KNOCK ON WOOD. ~knock~ I fucking love amoxicilin.
- WHAT YOU FUCKING MISSED. =p -
We had liek.. a gawddamn party at Jade's house last night. Fucking. Awesome. I love Jade. And I love Adam and Ducky and Naomi and Amanda and David and Bobbie and Adam ( whom has Hyde-hair and Foreman-face XD ). David is Jade's neighbour that we discovered during her birthday party and we've been chilling with them ever since. Mostly at night. 'Cause it's good. But yeah, so, Bobbie and Hyde-hair Adam are David's friends.
Boobie tried to shoot me with a firecracker once and I just met Hyde-hair Adam last night. Amanda and Naomi were over and Adam and Ducky are always at Jade's because it's like.. their second house.
All in all, we had a lotta fun. Dancing, almost breaking Jade's floor, drinking water, tonselitis.. David slapped my ass and it hurt. o--o
A lot.
So I smacked his tummeh and things were better. ^^
Hyde-hair Adam got super drunk. Annnd.. threw up in the grass x--X;; EMILY PICKED UP THE BARF TOWEL.
We all passed out 'bout 5 or 6 am, spare Jade, who was still in OCD-clead mode. Bleep.
Then we got up at liek 12:30 pm today and I made Emilettes ( EMILY'S OMELETTES O--O; ) annnnd.. they were good. Then my aunt picked Naomi and I up and then my mommy took Naomi home and then we went to the mall and I THINK I WANT TO BE A FASHION DESIGNER WHEN I GROW UP.
^----------^
So there you go.
I like things.
SYC tomorrow.
YEY?!
I love you.
A lot.
Uhhhhh..
I HAVE AN ORANGE WHISTLE.
It's powerfully positive and positively powerful.
<3!!
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2006 23 June :: 1.25pm
:: Mood: Relieved, content
HUZZAH.
I don't have strep, I have tonselitis!
Jadie, I'll probably be over tomorrow. Maybe. I think.
And I get AMOXICILLIN to make it better ^---^
The thick, pink, bubble-gum-ee stuff.
Love.
I haven't had it since I was liek.. 10.
I'm definitely feeling more happy. Really tired, but content.
And I just ate.
So that's good, too.
My throat hurts.
^-^
<3
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2006 23 June :: 8.34am
:: Mood: PAINED.
Sweet Fuckin' Fuck!
I hate you, Ducky! You TOTALLY JINXED ME. AND YOU WOULDN'T KNOCK ON WOOD. AHHHH. BITCH.
Anyways .___.
I have strep throat.
And it's ghey.
I'm going to the doctor at 11:45. And I'm awake. At 8:35 am. Because of my stupid throat. GHEY.
It's all gross and white back there.
Woe is me, fair people, assuming people are reading this!
My Jade leaves Tuesday and I fear I will not be able to see her T--T
I'll probably skip volunteering on Monday - don't wanna infect anyone e--e - but we'll see how it goes.
So my weekend is totally ruined.
And Naomi's is, too, if you think about it.
Naomi, if you get mad at me 'cause I got strep and I can't drive you home.. bleh. o---o
I will just wave idly and fall back into bed.
THIS.
ISN'T.
FUN.
AH.
DEATH TO YOU WHOEVER MUTATED YOUR CELLS INTO STREPTOCOCCIS A AND B.
I HOPE YOU JUST.. DIE.
A lot.
KTHNX.
>---------<;;
I'm gonna go lay down again before I have to get up and shower.
I probably won't be able to eat for a little bit .___.
<3
GHEY.
P.S. I have a stand-in phonular ( same number you have ) since the other one comitted suicide. Ring if you need me. <3
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2006 18 June :: 10.05pm
:: Mood: Tired-ish
:: Music: nothing.
Updating.
'Cause Naomi told me too.
<3
P.S. YouTube is god. I'm on there. o--o Search for drpeppercrusader.
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2006 13 June :: 9.54pm
:: Music: Rammstein - Te Quiero Puta
Im growing fatter....yay...gained like 4 kgs and it shows on my body. Hate it. The hair cut bitch cut my hair too short and everyone is mentioning I'm gonna be bald when I grow older. THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT ASSHOLES!
There's just never a happy ending in anything. I do everything wrong don't I? I almost wouldn't give a fuck anymore.
"Just think everything will be alright and it will." Bull....shit.... how can anyone tell me that? Do they know the rules in life and what is gonna happen in the future, do they control what is gonna happen? I've been sure about something that everything was gonna be better and I really believed in it. Still it ended so bad... why should I believe now that it's gonna be alright???
I just don't get it how people can actually be happy. Maybe it's just cause they do not know what's going on. I do. I know that people can't be happy if they knew about other people. And if they still could be happy then... how can they ignore it.
I don't think I even wanna be happy anymore. I mean what's the difference in it anyway. Ignoring everything bad around you? I wish I could solve it but everytime I try it just tends to get worse.
I don't know, I'm not sure about anything anymore. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do. I'll just have to keep walking a nd see where I end up so I get something to hold onto again and try to get a grip from there. But what if there never will be anything to hold onto anymore.
Just let me drown.
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2006 3 June :: 3.52pm
:: Mood: Hi.
:: Music: Chewing gum, rain, typing
Hallo lovelies
How are you all today?
It's raining outside my window and I'm contemplating popping in one of the movies I got the other day.
Creepshow, Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenger, or Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. I thought I got the first one with Johnny Depp in it, but I suppose I didn't.. I got all three for like.. 15 dollars all together.
Super fun time!
Anyways, I had a lot of fun at Jade's and I'm whipped mentally and.. perhaps physically. But not literally.
Did you follow that?
Good show.
I'm gonna go watch scary movies now, kthnx.
<3
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2006 28 May :: 11.09pm
:: Mood: Stuffy
Jade - the fish who's still swimming.
Jade: I'm hooked, but there's no line.
Emily: Yeap.
Jade: Or perhaps I was pulled ashore, and then abandoned on the beach because I wasn't a good catch.
Emily: Tch. You just haven't unhooked the deadly hook yet, but the line broke.
Emily: You're still swimming, but you can't get the hook out.
Emily: 'Cause of the barbs.
Jade: Alright.
I don't think I could ever honestly stay mad at Jade for more than like.. 7 hours.
Because I love her.
That's the only explanation.
My head's all plugged up.
Bitchy.
<3
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2006 23 May :: 9.38pm
:: Mood: Thoughtful
Jade and I don't want to be ballerinas when we grow up.
Jade: Um... She picks me up at about 4
Jade: So like... 4.20 ish?
Jade: Ha.
Jade: 4.20
Jade: The worst time of day
Jade: For Emily
Jade: =p
Emily: xD
Emily: Fuck you in the butt, kthnx.
Emily: <3
Jade: Why?
Jade: You like... hate stoners.
Jade: With a passion.
Emily: Yeah
Emily: I try not to, like.. when I think about it rationally, I know it's their choice and they're stupid asses
Emily: But I just get so.. angry..
Jade: Yeah.
Jade: I know.
Emily: I'm gonna grow up to slaughter stoners
Emily: I'm going to dissect them and try to find the stupid glands in their brainds
Jade: I'm gonna grow up to be a serial killer
Emily: That secretes stupidaphetamin
Jade: Well.
Jade: I think it's disgusting when people idolize serial killers.
Jade: So I'll give them something to idolize.
Jade: No
Jade: I don't think I would kill the people who idolize serial killers.
Jade: I think I would go after the people they love
Jade: And see if they still idolize killers.
Jade: Fucking bastards.
Emily: ECKS DEE.
<3
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2006 23 May :: 10.33pm
To say it really easy:
I cheated on Gaby,
I lost Gaby,
I got a new love?
Besides that live pretty much keeps on sucking.
Being filled with feelings more then one can bear, it just keeps on coming. Doubt, jealousy, insecureness, anger. Whatever.
I know I'll never be all right. People have killed themselves for less.
Sods.
Feeling like I'm not needed anymore for anyone. That's ok. I still got myself....what's left of it. Did I lose myself?
Bye.
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