iwasthinkingthat
|
::
2005 3 April :: 3.08pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: Cauterize
Fun
Monday- Frez @ 430
Tuesday- Big Dip @ 4
Wednesday- Big Dip @ 430
Thrusday- Frez @ 430
Friday- IM TAKING IT OFF
Sat- Frez and Big Dip
Sun- Frez and Big Dip
I think I have mono...I feel good enough to do nothing about it though.
BYE
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
freaky
|
::
2005 2 April :: 5.12pm
I dont get it. I get online I talk to people. But I dont even enjoy it anymore. I only like to talk to Gaby and thats it. No other person who used to be my friend is kinda nice to talk to anymore. Bobbie said shes gonna get married. I totally dissaprove her whole life style...which is getting more known to me. I started to make a distance between her. Samantha...well I barely talk to her much anymore.... its just not as fun anymore as it used to be. Who else did I use to talk more alot...no one actually just random people. And I just dont get what happend.....
But you know what....fuck it. I dont really care and Im fine this way. My life is kinda shit...I just dont like it. (doesnt mean its shit for you aswell). I dont need people to talk to, least thats what people always tell me. I just need Gaby....
Finally... I guess I am at the point I predicted so long ago, it happend with every person I know but not with Gaby. I know I need her with everything. And I dont need anyone else... so don't try to be my friend anymore. Anyone else will be forgotten.
3 tears |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
Freaky
|
::
2005 30 March :: 10.05pm
Many people ask "what is love?".... I think I'll give up trying and it would be smart if you did to. You'll never understand what love is. When you hate it, it sucks ass. When you like it, you think its the best thing ever. So what is love.... I dont know and I dont care, just let love be.
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2005 28 March :: 4.05pm
goinn to chrissy's on wed-thurs.. tomorrow i think kristin's comingg.. friday im probably gunna be with ali so the rest of my week is pretty much bookedd.. if u wanna do somethinn gimme a call.. today im just chilling cuz i didnt get enough sleep last night.. but yeaa saturday nd sunday free.. i think.. who knows.. call to plan somethingg.. later
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2005 26 March :: 7.41pm
lmfao kristin struck out again in a deli.. shes havinn really bad luck this week
i couldnt stop crackin up
she said her and deirdre are goinn to see erin to try to get something.. i think its madd funny tho lol..
i aint with em cuz i feel like im gunna hurl lol if i drink somethin i'll puke it up lol.. i feel kindaa bad im not out since kristin's here from sheepshead =[ i wanna go hang out with them.. but kristin's gunna be in a bad mood if she doesnt get a drink lmaoo =] ooh well she's coming in again on monday.. if i aint better by then i'll kill myself.. omgg im looking forward to tomorrow nd next week so much we're gunna PARTAYY lol.. kristin's gunna call me when she gets home.. hopefully i wont be too asleep to feel it vibrating lol.. that happens sometimes.. cuz its under my pillow and.. aaah forget it do you really care? im out.. later
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2005 26 March :: 4.38pm
:: Music: as long as you're mine<3
last night was pretty cool.. only one of kristin's friends came but thats ok.. my mom was pissed at me though so that kindaa fcked the ride home.. it was quiet.. i was madd tired though.. i didnt really fall asleep until like 1:30 so i slept til 1030 finally omgg i couldnt lately i dunnoo why.. too used to having to be up at 6.. eeww..
kristin's coming to bay ridge tonight but i dont know if i can go out.. its the night before easter.. she picked a bad day lol.. she aint coming in til 7 so.. yea.. i dont really feel that great either.. kristin's gunna be mad at me if i dont come lol.. oh well.. i'll make it up to her next week..
the only thing that sucked about last night.. is that we only got our hands on one beer and there was four of us lmaoo.. and it was onee of the small bottles.. and kristin drank half of it lmaoo stupid alcoholic lol
im gunna go.. i dont feel that great.. be on later probably.. call the cell <3
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
freaky
|
::
2005 26 March :: 9.15pm
Sitting here with a towel around my waist thinking if life is really worth living. Everyone abandons me eventually and new people will become harder to find... all I need is her but she too will eventually leave me. Its a fact. I can't take anything anymore, she said forget about it.... I went running. I know there is something inside my head, it won't go out of me cause it likes to hear that I go insane. Everything about life becomes clear when you grow up. Believe me its something you dont want to be cleared out. Be happy while your a kid cause thats the only life you'll get. The rest is hell and you have died inside. Your body remains. An ugly slowly rotting body.... Should I just kill myself. The only thing I have to do is cut my wrists... it would hurt for a second but I dont think the pain would last very long. I dont know if I can stand to see the cuts though. My mom is used to it, her father killed herself aswell. I will see Gaby again cause when I kill myself, so will she... at least thats what I think but maybe she wont... It would suck if I go to hell... I'd still have a shit time then. I dont know. Im just really tired of everything that comes at me. And anything I do doesnt make it right cause it can never be right and I am responsible for that. I am. Cause I know I should be changing everything to be good and I just can't. I am a failure, a loser, a nothing, a nerd, a geek who cant do anything right. And dont give me your goddamned pity bout what you think of this. I hate you all. All my so called friends. Fuck you all.
11:07 PM
I'm sorry for what I said...I've thought bout things....
I'm sorry eventhough I know its gonna come back sometime...
3 tears |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
iwasthinkingthat
|
::
2005 26 March :: 7.19am
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Juliana Theory- Constellation
Goodmorning Sunshines
So I spent all yesturday sleeping. I dont have strept but I have massive lumps in my throat and nasty white stuff on my tonsils. So since they dont know what it is I have I have to make sure I dont get mono. Yummy.
I didnt go to work yesturday which means my paycheck is going to be shit. I dont care anymore I guess. Big Dip is probably opening up this week and that will determine my staying at Fresnos. When I know I dont have to take shit .. why should I?
I feel kind of lonely at this particular moment but that could be a number of things.
I think I have decided that Im not going to ball...it is easier that way. I really do want to get all dressed up and look pretty and all that ball stuff but I dont feel like being stressed out nor do I feel the urge to fight with my parents about the after plans.
I work all day today... LUCKY ME.
BYE
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2005 25 March :: 1.25pm
yeaa big group of us goinn to sheepshead today.. wooop its me, deirdre, kristin, kristin's friends, kaitlyn, kait's friends liz, maria elena, and maybe megan.. julia went away what a loserr lol.. gotta get ready.. one
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2005 24 March :: 2.44pm
soo in case you're wondering why i said that yesterday was gross.. we walked in that disgusting weather thru prospect park ((me kristin julia baker nancy and deirdre)) to baker's house ((from the school in park slope to windsor terrace.. ew longg)) nd we were gunna go get somethinn to drink but the guy wouldnt sell it.. nd baker got mad cuz shes gotten stuff there before but she aint allowed in lmao dont ask.. so yea.. kristin came back to bay ridge with us but deirdre had to go home for her sisters bday and kristin didnt really feel that great so she went home nd julia decided to, too.. soooo yea.. im goin to sheepshead tomorrow to see kristin.. so we'll probably go get something then.. gotta clean the room today so i can go out tomorrow.. later<3
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
|
::
2005 24 March :: 11.58am
:: Mood: Explanitory
:: Music: Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart -- H.I.M.
Emily's most-awesome description of the whole Ring Saga as of yet
Well, there's this tape. If you watch it, you get a phone call right after and there's a little scary voice that says "Seven days" and if you don't make a copy and show it to some one in a week, you'll get killed by this little girl that crawls out of the TV
So this lady watched the tape, ends up showing it to her ex-husband, her ex-husband dies, her son sees it, they make a copy and send it to dear old Grandpa. Before the ex-husband dies, the lady and he do all this detective work to learn about the tape.
It's about another lady and her daughter, Samara. The husband didn't want that lady to have Samara, so she strangled Samara and tossed her down a well. BUT! Samara was no ordinary little scary child, she had crazy powers that killed horses and stuff.
So Samara, in the well, produces some crazy tape to uphold her legacy. The lady of the story, Rachel, goes down the well and fishes out Samara's body. But in the second movie, you learn that was a bad move.
Anyways, Samara's out of the well and wreaking more havoc than ever. She's tormenting Rachel's son, chasing him around, blah blah blah. Rachel decides she needs to be little Miss Undercover again and does more research. Samara wasn't really Anna Morgan's child. Anna Morgan being the lady that strangled her.
So the real mother of Samara is in a psycho ward, making newspaper clipping every waking hour. She tells Rachel that she needs to kill her son to help him, that Rachel should listen to him, blah blah blah. So Rachel and her son and chilling at Rachel's co-worker's house 'cause she's scared of their house right now.
o0p5 y3r d34d: So Rachel goes home and Samara has possessed her son, so she drowns her son, brings him back to life, goes in the TV, screams "I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING MOMMY" and shoves Samara back in the well.
THE ENNND! For now
Heck yes! How cool am I?!
7 tears |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
|
::
2005 24 March :: 11.14am
:: Mood: Awake
:: Music: I Love You (Prelude to Tragedy) -- H.I.M.
Let me see here, my darling, but the harder I try, the more we grow apart. Please believe me.
The sweeter the kiss, the colder turn your arms, and the colder grows your heart, and, baby, more I love you.
I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your touch, I taste it from your lips, and, baby, more I love you.
I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your touch, I taste it from your lips, and, baby, more I love you.
Shouldn't I, my darling, the closer I get, the more your eyes are let, don't you feel it?
The colder your touch, the more it turns me on, and the faster beats my heart, and, baby, more I love you.
I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your touch, I taste it from your lips, and, baby, more I love you.
I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your touch, I taste it from your lips, and, baby, more I love you.
I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your touch, I taste it from your lips, and, baby, more I love you.
I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your touch, I taste it from your lips, and, baby, more I love you.
Wow, that's a hot song.
Uh, I had to get up early today.. it's 11 right now, I kinda got up a half an hour ago and Kimmie drove me home. Apparentally we're going some where with Nagy's... I don't know if this somewhere will be good for Emily o.o;
It's been quite amusing, my spring break so far.. Let's see if I can recall..
Friday: Ring 2 with Steven, Oscar, and my Jadie. Jadie slept over.
Saturday: Woke up deathly sick with my Jadie, ended up watching three movies and sleeping.
Sunday: Went home with my Jadie and went to Wilt Chamberlain's before going "boy shopping" with Lon. Of course, I wasn't shopping, I was chaperoning, though we didn't find any of interest. It was fun, we stayed in Barnes in Noble by Shadowood (or is it Borders?) 'til it closed (about 10 minutes after we got there). We then skittered over to Starbucks, got some coffee-like substance and sat and talked there for an hour. Loverly indeed. Jadie and I went home with Lon, and guess EFFING what?!
Jadie and I spent the night at Lon's! Whoosh!
Monday: Went home with Jade, went swimming, then went to Sushi Jazz, where I met up with my mommy and proceeded to my homely place.
Tuesday: Stayed home and did pretty much nothing. That's always good.
Wednesday: Got my XBox to work, so I did some hard-core l33t DDR for about 10 minutes before I died. I thought wheezing was a pretty good stopping point for myself. I took a shower (o.0; The first time since.. when? XDDD JK!) and thought I had art class so I gathered my things and we proceeded to the place of art.
Apparentally we didn't have any class (I wouldn't know, I haven't gone to the last two due to sickness), but I ended up getting an urgent summons to the Towncenter Mall where I happened upon Kimmie, Athena, Asja, Jade, Amanda, and *GASP!!* LAURA! I was most excited to see Laura, I'm sorry. I haven't hung with that child since she got a boyfriend. Thusly it's been about a month or two T.T
Anyways, I ended up sleeping at Jadie's after ordering some crack-happy Japanese food and watching SAILOR MOON (heck yesss!) and "Center Stage", this ballet movie. It's really good ^^
Thursday: Ugh, Kimmie woke me at 10 and I fell asleep for a half an hour before she started yelling for me, then which I flurried, grabbing my wallet, cell phone, and many bracelets. I'm glad I traveled simple. I didn't plan on sleeping over, so I really didn't have anything with me.
I kinda planned to go back to sleep with I got home, but I come upstairs to find my bed stripped of it's bed clothes.. My naughty bed, taking it all over when I'm gone. GOSH. Anyways, I dressed my bed up again, and I'm guessing I'm going for the dramatic look 'cause everything on top it pretty much white except for this one black, silken pillow with butterflies on it. Yum.
Well, I think I'm gonna sign this off. Much love, my home g-rizzles.
<3
"The colder your touch, the more it turns me onnnn.."
P.S. THAT LINE.. IS THE HOTTEST LYRIC IN THE WORLD! Not only is it hot in general, but VILLE.. THE HOTTEST MAN ALIVE (next to Johnny Depp and Gerard Way) SINGS IT!! It's all slow and sensual and like he means it.. ugh.. T.T
5 tears |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2005 23 March :: 7.20pm
gross.. that describes today.. pureee grossness
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2005 22 March :: 8.00pm
aaahh britt tore a ligament nd the teams goinn down the drain slowlyyy..
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2005 19 March :: 4.38pm
AHAHAHAHA ME AND KRISTIN AND JULIA AND RONNIEE AND DEE.. FUNNNYYY NIGHTTTT I LOVEE THEMMMMM
yeaa last night was friggenn hysterical nd we were gunna do it again tonight but it didnt work outt.. kristin cnt stay over cuz my moms mad cuz i have too much hw nd stuff nd im like grrr but oncee the vacation starts we're gunna go crazyy.. tomorrows the bay ridge st patricks day paradeeee yeaaa man kristin's marchinn so imaa go too since shes never in bay ridge.. i think dee's gunna be with her too so its all good.. clare & roe maybe.. i dunnoo.. its gunna be off the hook though!!!
1 tear |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
freaky
|
::
2005 19 March :: 4.30pm
:: Music: U2 - All Because Of You
I finished this book "Tell me your dreams" by Sidney Sheldon. Gaby told me it was a kewl book and yeah it was a kewl book. I really liked it actually. It was exciting, it wasn't to complicated, it had a nice story, men are being seen as assholes in it but still not that much, no homosexual activity ehehehe and it has a happy ending. Sorry I just love a happy ending else I get all depressed....not the most pretty thing to hear, see and feel....Anyway thanks for a good book Gaby ;) I love you like I love hot chocolate but just way more ^_^
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
iwasthinkingthat
|
::
2005 18 March :: 5.09pm
:: Music: The Beautiful Mistake- Anonymus vs California
I will disregaurd this day
So I woke up late. I got to school and did my thing....minding my own business... and up walks Mr. Frost. Mr. Frost likes to put my boyfriend down and tell me how bad a kid he is. Well Mr Frost...I know him a tad bit more than you...dont tell me what to expect. Then Mr Frost gets his science buddies on me. "That is a dangerous situation"....FREAK OUT. So then I calm myself down and realize the school is a dick. Move on. Get to lunch and have a group of thugs siting at my table. I have a break down. I totally flipped out on them. I went nuts. It was hillarious though. My adreniline was pumping so bad...I was shaking and convulsing. I sat down with the little fuckers and they finally moved. It wasnt funny at the time but now its hillarious. I never flip out like that. So that was that. Go get my mom flowers since its her birthday. Eat at Seans. Go to the lanolium place with my mom.
My floors were stainded today so my house is full of fumes....Im going to get sick lol.
Time for work... I dont feel happy..visit if you can
BYE
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
freaky
|
::
2005 17 March :: 6.04pm
:: Music: Puddle of Mud - Bleed / Smile Empty Soul - Finding Myself
I dont care what you say about it, I just don't love my mom without a reason. Don't tell me I'm lucky to have a mom cause I already thought bout every possible thing what it would be like to have no parents at all. I can say the same, "man your lucky you dont have parents". So just shut up and leave me be. I just dont love my mom... now only she has to know...
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
iwasthinkingthat
|
::
2005 16 March :: 9.25pm
why do you always have to kill me....fuck you...i wont put up with this again...fuck you
BYE
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
iwasthinkingthat
|
::
2005 16 March :: 8.33pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: Train- Days
good times
Today was good .. yeah Im serious lol.
School was same old minus I accomplished a few things... kinda. Then I took Sean home and I went home. Tasha came and picked me up. We went and got Matt and went to Halo. Then to Zebbs. Then we hung out in the driveway with Matts cat. We left and Tash and I went to Boombabies which was an experience. We ran out of gas and things began to beep. So we hunted down a gas station in the city, got gas and moved on. We didnt find much at BoomBabies that looked good but it was still fun. We went back to her house and then I went home.
Here I am.
I dont think I am going to go to ball. Yuck
Anyways....good day.
BYE
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
|
::
2005 16 March :: 12.06pm
:: Mood: Dizzy again
Hmn.. I'm kinda dizzy.
I really need to shower. I'll probably force myself into some laundry, too..
I'm home again today, but I'm going to school tomorrow.
I think my tummy box would fancy some sustenance.
Yey.
Love love
3 tears |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
|
::
2005 15 March :: 10.59am
:: Mood: Dizzy xX
Mlegm
Today I am sickie.
I guess I didn't spaz myself into a fever, or else it would be gone by now xDD
I'm having my hot streak right now.. been having it for about and hour, and I'm expecting a cold streak whenever it comes.
I love you all, you're magnificent to me and I don't appreciate you as much as I should. And can't seem to realize how much we truly love eachother.
On a lighter note, THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YEWWW!
xD
<3
6 tears |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
iwasthinkingthat
|
::
2005 14 March :: 9.27pm
so I was at work today and I looked in the mirror and decided I think I am seriously really ugly.
Thats all...+ a pig hat.
BYE
3 tears |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0
|
::
2005 14 March :: 3.14pm
Maybe if I fall asleep forever, Keith won't hate me anymore.
Maybe if I fall asleep forever, my mom won't have to worry about me.
Maybe if I fall asleep forever, I won't feel sick over this.
Maybe if I fall asleep forever, everyone will be happy with eachother and themselves.
I kind of doubt the last one. I know I don't stunt EVERYONE's happiness or desired self-esteem levels.
But I do feel sick.
And I do feel like Keith hates me.
And I don't want my mom to worry.
My head hurts.. and I'm almost looking foreward to my math homework.
I wish you could hate me so dying would be easy.
I didn't want to cry, but I did.
I didn't want to yell at my mom, but I did.
And now.. I hope I digest myself in a pool of my own barf.
10 tears |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
iwasthinkingthat
|
::
2005 13 March :: 1.05am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Silence
cold
So today I worked from 10:45 until 3:15. It was a very interesting time in my life.
1. Ammunition hidden on table 6...yes live ammunition
2. Tranvestite in womens bathroom...how does that work?
3. Old man at the bar who was telling me everyone in the universities were idiots and knocked on his door for answers. He said he was planning on taking over NASA and he is talking to the senetor in Haiwi about how to save the state and its energy crisis. Compulsive Liar??? That seems to be a common factor among humans these days.
4. Tacos and basket catching on fire in the middle of the service isle and waitress (very smart ones) trying to blow it out.
So that was work.
Then it was off to my Uncles and Aunts house with the famdamly. Sean and I played with my cousins daughter the whole time. She is absolutely adorable. So are Beamer and Buddy.
Then a snowball fight with the Straders and friends. I got pegged in the eye ... It left a nice little mark.
Mario party...I lost.
Home.
I have to get up at 6:50 tomorrow morning for work and Im learning new things so we'll call it a night.
BYE
1 tear |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2005 12 March :: 5.43pm
:: Mood: bnoredd
:: Music: inside out.. yellowcardd<3
iTS A SATURDAY.. AND i HAD TO REF AT 10:40.. SHOOT ME.. i REFFED WiTHH COURTNEY AND WE WERE LiKE THiNKiNN WE WERE GUNNA DiE CUZ THE COACHES GOT SO.. AAAHHHH.. THE SECOND GAME PEOPLE COULDNT HEAR THE WHiSTLE CUZ THERE WAS SO MUCH FRiGGENN SCREAMiNGG..
ANYWAY..
ANDREA HAD THE BABY.. ME AND JULiA ARE LiKE OOH BOY HERE WE GO LMAOO<3
no more caps typing.. my hands are too cold to stretch that much for the i's..
nobody was fckinn home today i did nothing.. imm sooo mad.. maybe someone can go out tomorrow.. i suree do hope so.. cuz if i do nothing this weekend im gunna be sad =[
i have to watch my brother and maybe my cousin tonight.. EEEWWWW.. i told aunt kathy to bring chrissy but i dont think she is.. grrrr.. things arent going my way today.. it hasnt been that great.. im gunna go find something to do with my boring life.. later..
1 tear |
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
freaky
|
::
2005 12 March :: 3.31pm
:: Music: Queens of the Stoneage - Little Sister
"Hey sister why you all alone?
I'm standing out your window
Hey little sister, can I come inside, dear?
I wanna show you all my love
I wanna be the only one
I know you like nobody ever, baby
Little sister can't you find another way
No more livin life behind a shadow
You whisper secrets in my ear
Slowly dancing cheek to cheek
It's such a sweet thing when you open up, baby
They say I'll only do you wrong
We come together cause I understand
Just who you really are, baby
Little sister can't you find another way
No more livin life behind a shadow
Little sister can't you find another way
No more livin life behind a shadow"
Would be kinda kewl to have a little sister you know....it's better then having an older and a younger brother....
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
Freaky
|
::
2005 12 March :: 9.05am
Everything good that comes in contact with me melts like snow in the sun...
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|
freaky
|
::
2005 10 March :: 10.02pm
:: Music: Avril Lavgine - My Happy Ending
Im working now, I have a nice paying job. €10.000 a month, soon I will have a place of my own, and I already have my driver's license. I can go see Gaby any time I want. My mom doesn't mind her staying over anytime, its always good. And she does stay over alot. She doesnt care bout her parents anymore cause they dont bother her anymore. I dont know if I should ask her to marry me, I wanna marry her though. Not that its nescesary but I want to cause I love her so much. My life is perfect and I dont have any brothers. My mom doesn't smoke and she completely healthy, we never fight aswell. I got no problems or what so ever and I'm never jealous when some guy talks to Gaby. She can talk to anyone. I make the best drawings in the world and I could be a proffesional artist but I just take it as a hobby. I got all the games in the world and I'm the best, there is no one who can beat me. I go to rock concerts all the time with Gaby and we have lotsa fun there. And our lives are the best...we are gonna have a happy ending....
..............if only dreams could come true....
TeArS i'Ve CrIeD...
|
|