eragedbluerat
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2003 23 November :: 10.00pm
:: Mood: In the mood for making cookies
:: Music: Yellowcard - Way away
Way away away from here i'll be
How it feels to be alone and not believe, anything.
Well this weekend was uneventful. I ran out of contacts so i went to karate and cardio class almost complettly blind. Everything was blurry. it made for a very interesting 2 1/2 hours. Well i have more now. But other than that, nothing happened. write more later.
~BOYER
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2003 21 November :: 10.48pm
:: Mood: Not feeling too hot
:: Music: Fuel - Sunburn
All My friends are searching
"Sunburn"
The sky was dark this morning
Not a bird in the trees
And silence hung suspicious and anxious
Like a blanket covered scream
And you were gone
You were not there for me
And I cursed the sky and begged the sun to
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down
All my friends are searching
Quiet, desperately
Look into their eyes you'll see the faithless crying
Save me, save me, save me
And what are they to feel
And who are they to be
And what am I to do with, do with me, but let the sun
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down
Until my eyes cry out
'Til my head is free from doubt
'Til my lungs sigh right out
'Til I'm wiser
Let the sun
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down
Well i stuck a Q-tip in my ear becuase it was itching and its covered in blood. Dont ask me. I have no idea why. But now the whole left side of my head is throbbing. Well my grades are better.
Overall in:
English - 88
Biology - 89
Algebra - 95
so i aint worried anymore!!!
Well I strongly dislike my dad's mom (notice i did not say Grandmom)
My dad wants to invite her over. Well i dont want her around. gtg
~BOYER
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2003 20 November :: 11.11pm
:: Mood: feeling?
:: Music: Fuel - Jesus or a gun (not really hearing it, but its in my head)
Another starry night
"of course its 4 their well being, but the guyz needed sumthin better than that cuz their not as cool, nd cairing as u"
"and funny"
"ur r kool, so of course u look kool"
"all my friends looked at it nd b4 i could tell them who was who they all said "i like those three,(they pointed to u josh nd tommy) they look kool""
Wow!!Aww thanks really guys, it's appreciated. (keep em coming)
~BOYER
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2003 19 November :: 5.14pm
:: Mood: I'm ok but a little frustrated
:: Music: Yellowcard - Back Home
Another sunny day
Sorry for the lack of updating. It's been kinda crazy around here. Well that's what im telling everyone anyway. My grades are slipping. And that's an understatement. I got a 69 on a bio test, a 60 on an english test, a 60 on an algebra test, and ive been struggling to keep up on my Telecom work. Bouchard has been cutting me a lot of brakes. Finally today i told him my situation and i realized that someday I'm going to have to take responsibility for my actions, or in this case lack there of. So i told him that i appreciate the final extention to friday, but i can't be pampered anymore. I said that i will hand it to him that day or he can count it as a zero. I hate being pampered. I also hate being that kid that always needs more time. You know the one that can't finish work on time. Always turning HW in a day late. And he teachers end up giving them full credit. Well i have been turning in my HW, but that doesn't mean that this might cuase me to go down that road that i was on these past few years. I am not going to become that slacker again. I refuse to let it happen. But i'm not sure i can change my grades. I'm already on the verge of failing some of my classes. ALREADY!!! How is that possible. Even for me that's some record. Anyway on to other topics.
Kelli's been upset the past few weeks. At least 1 day a week i notice that she's really depressed. I get her to smile and ask her what's wrong. Then she'll give this bullshit answer. I dont know. They may be right on some level. But i think there is something she's not telling me. I mean it's not like i think i have the right to know, but as a good friend of hers, you'd think that she might be able to trust me. I'm just worried about her i guess.
My parents are flipping out on me on what seems to be a daily basis. For one reason or another i'm being harassed. My dad called home from some Planning Board meeting. I was online and he claimed he had been calling my sisters line for hours. I didnt hear it. My mom later said that she didnt hear it either. But anyway, i pick up the phone and he says, "where have you been. i've been calling for hours." "Sorry dad i was online and i didnt hear the phone ringing." "How could you not hear it?" "Sorry. i dont have the phone next to me. My bad dad. Sorry" "Damnit don't say sorry Matt. Have the damn phone next to you next time your online." (at this point i dont feel like taking his shit so i say the next comment very sarcastically) "Well dad i am so sorry. It's not my fualt that i forgot the phone. I'll rememebr it next time ok. Jeez. Why are you calling do you a ride home or something?" " No Matt. I don't need a God Damn thing." And then he hangs up. He comes home and i go downstairs. My mom had called me downstairs. I turn to her and i ask her, "What?" Apparently my dad thought i was being "snippy" as he likes to call it. So he made me apologze to my mom. "How dare you spek to your mom that way." I told my mom i was sorry. He says. "What are you apologizing for?" "I have absolutely noi idea." Then he explodes and my night was hell. GTG im cooking dinner.
~BOYER
5 And the wings that you burn..... |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2003 16 November :: 7.55pm
:: Mood: haven't thought anything up yet
:: Music: Fuel - Song For You
AAAAAHHHHHH!
This weekend flew by. Well evilgirl has taken an outh not to talk for 6 days. So i made sure i talked to her a lot today. And i did. Yay go me. She's cool. She thinks im funny. I didnt know i was really funny. Which is a real surprise. With all this feedback ive been getting ive decided to make a movie about myself. It'll be called Boyer. 8th Wonder of the world. (obviously the title will be changed if there already is an 8th)
I can see the commercial already *drifts off into dream sequence*
(dramatic movie voice)
In the middle of South America. There lies many things. Poisonous snakes, Man-eating cannibals, and coffee. but the most dangerous thing in all of Brazil is kept n the heart of this it's most treacherous jungle. It is known as...................................(long long pause) BOYER. Bruce Lee stars in his most dramatic role. With sidekick little Pancho Jr. Played by world famous recording artist Enrique Iglasias.
Little Pancho Jr.:"Boyer look out man, they've got your girl."
The damsel in destress Louisa Consuela Esteban played by the died out but still very hot Reacel Lee Cook (dont ask thats the first name that popped in my head).
Luoisa Consuela Esteban: A ese, where you been. Oh is dis man bothering you. Oh is dis the bad guy. Here Boyer hold my baby (credit to Pablo Francisco)
BOYER (Bruce Lee): Watsahhhhhhh!!!!!!
"wicked funyy' raves evilgirl28666
"Get out of the toy store" declares random kids cousin
"Very mature person," proclaims dirtvixen21
"The best movie of the year," says Ebert and Roper
If you see two mvoies this year see LOTR: Retuen of the king and......................................(more long pause)
Boyer: The 8th Wonder of the World
~BOYER
6 And the wings that you burn..... |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2003 12 November :: 10.22pm
:: Mood: been better
:: Music: My mom talking to my dad on the phone
Insert Title Here
Well today wasnt great. I found out from Bouchard that i have to wear somewhat nice clothes tomorrow when we go to Montel. He said no sneakers. But we dont leave until 3rd period. Which means tha i have to wear nice shoes for 3 whole periods. That bites. But i might get more time on the project. Since the whole computer thing. Which none of you understand but i dont feel like explaining. I'll be home really late tomorrow, but i'll try and update ya'll.
~BOYER
2 And the wings that you burn..... |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2003 10 November :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: I'm ok
:: Music: Fooseball Game!!
My past few days
Thursday.....
I went int my dad's work so that could pick up Mario. We left at 3:30 and picked him up at about 4. He lives 2 hours away. So we met him halfway near Trenton. We drve back to my house. Just played games on the computer and stuff. Nothing major.
Friday.....
Today we watched the Matrix: Reloaded. I had never seen it before. But i liked it sorta. See everyone has this great expectation for the 2 movies. Reloaded and Revolutins. That they make them out to be so great. So of course they dont add up. Then we went to the mall. didnt see anything that was interesting us. Until we went into KB Toys. I saw a kid that was the biggest wigger ever!! I swear this kid was wearing pants that he had to hold up just by standing!! By standing!!I said to mario after we went around the corner that he doesnt know its not Halloween. he chuckled. About 5 minutes later, the kid walks over and informs me that hisa cousin overheard me say "something like Halloween and my glasses suck." I hadnt even notcied the kid was wearing glasses. But he goes on telling me "This is my cousin, I bet you didnt know he was my cousin" No buddy i didnt know. But i do now!! Thanks. Well then his cousin blurts out. "get out of the toy store" What? That is quite possibly the most random thing i have ever heard in my life. Well basically this kid and his "cousin" walk away acting all cool. I dont think its possible to act kool when your struggling to hold your pants up. Then we went to the Twp. football game. I had never been to one before. I never care to watch. But we went. I met a lot of people. Some i had seen before. Some i hadn't. Well i guess i had a good time. I cant think of a reason why i wouldnt have had fun.
Saturday.....
We went to see Scary movie III. I didnt really like the movie. It had its moments. But overall it wasnt funny. The rest of the day we played video games and just hung out. Later that night we watched Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure. Oh is that movie godly. Most tranquil!!! Anyway nothing else happened.
Sunday.....
We took Mario home. BooHoo. The rest of the day i worked my butt off. My parents think i still owe them or something. I dont know. but that was Sunday.
Today.....
I dont have school today or tomorrow so i'm happy. But my mom and i went gorcery shopping. that took a couple of hours. Then I had to mow the front and the back lawn. Wow that took a long time. Like 4 hours!! We have a big lawn. Then i went to karate. It was so boring. We didnt practice forms at all. I wanted to do Chilsong 4. That form is so badass. You dont mess with that form. Plus i'm really badass at that form. So i make it look 10 times better. mwahahahaha. Well that was my past coupl days. write yall later
~BOYER
5 And the wings that you burn..... |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2003 9 November :: 11.01pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: The song in my head
Get out of the toy store!!!!!!
i'll explain everything tomorrow. I must go. Since I have no school. i'll have plenty of time to update my journal!! yeah!!
~BOYER
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2003 4 November :: 10.36pm
:: Music: Fuel-Sunburn
If I can't find my way Back to me
"Sunburn"
The sky was dark this morning
Not a bird in the trees
And silence hung suspicious and anxious
Like a blanket covered scream
And you were gone
You were not there for me
And I cursed the sky and begged the sun to
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down
All my friends are searching
Quiet, desperately
Look into their eyes you'll see the faithless crying
Save me, save me, save me
And what are they to feel
And who are they to be
And what am I to do with, do with me, but let the sun
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down
Until my eyes cry out
'Til my head is free from doubt
'Til my lungs sigh right out
'Til I'm wiser
Let the sun
Fall all over me
This life's not living, baby
Living ain't free
If I can't find my way back to me
Let the sun fall down over me
Let the sun fall down
For any of you that haven't noticed, i go threw swings. My life is a roller coaster. Everything n my life could be going right. I should be happy. But i'm not. I dont know why that happens, but it does. And guess what mood i'm in now. That's right. I'm in that mood where if i think im going to cry, i wont. If i dont want to cry, or find any way to let out my pain. I will. Where. The slightest thing will make all my emotions go crazy. I think i have PMS. Pussy Matt Syndrome. I feel like such a waste. I dont want ot bother. And i know i have said this all before. Many times over. But my friend Jon is so happy. He has a girlfriend now. Lucky bastard. And she sounds really amzing. He's so happy. It's his first gf that i know of. But as much as i want him to be happy. I hate him becuase he has what i want. No not Danielle. I mean happiness. A girlfriend. That person you can talk to and be happy with. I need a source of joy. Anyway, Go jon. I really am happy for you. O Heaven help me. I need it. I hope your listening big guy. I could really use some help down here.
~BOYER
8 And the wings that you burn..... |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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eragedbluerat
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2003 3 November :: 9.07pm
:: Mood: faith; ful or less; you decide
:: Music: Fuel - Shimmer
Unwavoring faith in a shaky religion
Jesus Christ. Jesus of Nazerath. The Messiah. The savior. Our Lord. The son of God. However you want to name him, he is what he is. There is no escaping the power and influence that Jesus had and still has. His majesty is never questioned. It is pure faith in his father. Unshakable belief that though he would be betrayed, his mission was to be completed. He never strayed from the path that would eventually lead to his death. I have always believed this. I myself have always believed in Jesus Christ and God. But now the rules of my religion are changing. I have read some books in the recent past that made me think twice about what i believe. I am forced to look deeper than what i am told, for the truth behind what is said to be the way to be Catholic. There have always been many things about the Catholic faith that i have not agreed with. In partcular, the fact that the church doesnt like having girl alter servers. It doesnt allow, at all, woman priests. What is that? Why can't a woman be a priest? What makes them incapable of preaching the word of God to the people? Nothing. This all comes back to he fucking Adam and Eve thing. It stems from hat. the idea that woman are not as holy as men. It comes from that. I think this is so stupid. First off i personally dont believe in Adam and Eve. And if you follow the Bible completely, then you would realize that it's not Eve's weakness that got her snared by the Devil. It was the fact that the Devil came to her first. I think that of He had gone to Adam first, the same thing would have happened. She was just unlucky. And the way they interpret the Bible. I just dont agree. I think a long time ago the Church Fucked with the Bible. But that's another story. Just to tease your mind, look at the painting of Last Supper. It's suppoe to be of Jesus and his desciples. They were all men. But if you look at the original version of the painting who is the person then to the Lord's right? It's clearly a woman. But who is she. A wife? Maybe Mary Magdeline? Also, in the same painting, where is the cup of Christ? Where is the Holy Grail? I dont know for sure, the answers to these questions. But i do have some ideas. Ideas based on what i believe and what makes sense. If you think im wrong or that im not a good catholic, fuck you i dont care. You can have your opinions about the Bible. I have mine.
~BOYER
2 And the wings that you burn..... |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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