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2005 20 February :: 2.59pm
it was fucking great. i felt needed. i was only for a night. but that was enough. and i had the feeling assitance of my friends down at 99. lol. and well i just had a good time. fucking pigs suck.
5 Jigger!s |
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2005 18 February :: 12.32am
:: Music: The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone
Update From Inside
sooo....i got curfew....he got sex.....she got smokes.....he got another night of bliss.....shes cheating on him......they are both in denial.....life goes on outside of money.....college wont be too bad......and im not in hell yet.....with much love *hugs*
2 Jigger!s |
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2005 16 February :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: Dead
Fuck me
So I Just Figured Out That the next 7 years of my life are going to be fucking hell....thanks to bonnie proper. see i figured out that over the last 17 years (maybe more at least the years of my life) my ex-mother bonnie had been racking up 10,000 dollar debts in credit cards over and over and over and over and over and over again.card after card my dad had to do morgatge after morgate refience after refience so he could pay off my mothers bills....finally last year after the divorce he paid off the final debit and built his life back up strong. now we have all the money we need and plenty to spare....but. thanks to bonnie there was never enough money left over to put anything near college so ive never had a college fund EVER. all the money that was supposed to go to my college fund never made its way there cause bonnie had to buy everything on the fucking earth cause she thought plastic meant free money. so for the next 7 years i will be earning my way through college along side my father. struggling year after year. thanks mom.
11 Jigger!s |
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2005 14 February :: 9.22pm
:: Mood: drunk
:: Music: Bright Eyes - i dont know something fucking emo like always
The Middle Of The Night
i feel really weird right now. like i dont know what kind of emotion i am experiencing but its not comfortable. well anyway ill make this a worth while post. i think im having trouble learning my lines for the musical. the songs are coming along nice. i have to dance more often now and i dont like that idea. well i need to lose weight...but i wont. im fucking lazy. so yeah i hate now having money it really burns me to not have it. i dont work enough and the time that i do i hate doing it. well ive bitched for a little and im done know.
Jig The Gap!
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2005 13 February :: 3.39pm
:: Music: Less than jake - Beer
Yet another song ive written in vain
Just Tell Me What You Think
Title: Needles And Thread
spoon after spoon
lighter after lighter
needle after needle
fix after fix
meet me behind the school at six
ive got the goods and youve the got cash
come on pump it lets get high off our ass
its only one little syringe
what could such a metal do?
just ignore the warnings
i can promise you
the next thing you see will be the morning
Sweaters in the summer time
dark shades to hide myne eyes
the itching inside me burns to be free
just please god stab me
its so damn warm you see
flows deep, becomes part of me
messages written in blood
stained with chemicals
heat it up its far to cold
hurry pour it now im growing old
my eyes are heavy wake me up
forget waiting, shoot me up
grab the wire and the tubes
up goes my sleeve down goes the dues
pump my palm together
get the red pain flowing through
my fingers are numb this ones up to you
dont be afraid just press it through
break the skin, bruise my vein
my flesh will bleed
my heart will beat
my eyes will flee the scene
staring at the scars on my arms again
thinking of how good it would feel to rip them open
this room is dark, im all alone
im shaking, i wish to go home
i fucked it up im here for good
at least my beds not metal
and my sheets arent white...
7 Jigger!s |
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2005 12 February :: 3.50pm
:: Mood: melencoly
:: Music: Death Cab For Cutie - Stryofoam Plates
So i found this note....and i know this girl from not here....and im getting a new car.....and summer is aproching....im about ready to kill my boss.... the band is going to actually practice next friday when we dont have school.....we will win the talent show.....sorry for the cancel but im sick and well tony was lazy and didnt even tell ryan about practice.....what an ass........well *looks above* this should be interesting.
2 Jigger!s |
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2005 10 February :: 6.01pm
:: Mood: Waiting
:: Music: Mozart - Moonlight Sonata
Debt
So...Ray Ray Owes Me One Dance :)
4 Jigger!s |
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2005 8 February :: 9.22pm
It just fucking clicked. I finally under fucking stand it. its all falling into place so easily now and i can stare at it and fucking laugh. this is wonderful. hahaha i love realizing how fucking stupid i am.
2 Jigger!s |
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2005 3 February :: 9.28pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Bowling For Soup - 1985
Band Junk
I Made A Poster For Our Band. Tell Me What You Think
This Will Appear On All Stickers And Posters. Like It?
14 Jigger!s |
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2005 2 February :: 10.56pm
ever get that feeling in your stomach when you think "this is bliss and happiness" then you turn around and say "what the fuck was i thinking, fooling yourself only causes pain and wasted time" fuck this stomach of mine.
1 Jigger! |
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2005 1 February :: 7.46pm
:: Music: Fading Beside You - An Atmosphere Of X's And O's
Rock It!
Good News Kids. So Far Fading Beside You SHould be Performing at the talent show this year. yeah you have never heard us perform so i just hope you dont fucking hate us lol.
1 Jigger! |
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2005 1 February :: 7.33pm
:: Music: Something Over Played
Edit
Living Is Good.
3 Jigger!s |
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2005 30 January :: 5.46pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Green Day - Time Of Your Life
Dear Friends Help Me.
Wake Me Up When April Hits.
2 Jigger!s |
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2005 26 January :: 8.30pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: Whats Below
Comment Please
Tell me your fav. part or phrase. tell me your least fav. part. tell me what could be better. just tell me about it. Yes For Once I Care What Others Think About Me. and its supposed to seem simple, no metaphors for once. all the words plain and all the descriptions easy to hear. its just easier and rawer.lol the title is
Nothing Ever Goes Wrong
I'm gonna have a wonderful day
its gonna be free completely of pain
im gonna have a beautiful day
its gonna free me of this rain
the clouds are setting in
the storm is destined to erupt soon
but im under neath this umbrella
so my head wont get wet
Like i need a heavier head
to go right along with my weighted heart
lets find something to make this image lifted
do you have the cure?
something to make me pure
fall asleep, for once unassited
Only a cup of water next to me on the floor
maybe a head next to myne
to stare deep into my eyes
to wake up, refreshed
with thoughts of traffic and pain repressed
you know the day is gonna be hard
but you, you are gonna have a good day
im gonna have a wonderful day
its gonna be free completly of pain
im gonna have a beautiful day
its gonna free me of this rain
thats trickling down the side of my car
driving slower, watching the water bead
switching lanes finally
im almost home, from a day of hell
time to sit and let my head swell
from the thoughts of the day
thinking of a way
to wash them away
im gonna have a wonderful day
its gonna be free completly of pain
im gonna have a beautiful day
its gonna free me of this rain
that i see from this medicinal window pane
that i stare out of everyday
has become my best of friends
this relationship will never end
the trees end up blowing
and the leaves end up falling
and the grass ends up dieing
and i end up watching
all the stages and steps of death
happen right out side my door
we'll ive some place to go
so ill toss my care to the wind, blow
im gonna have a wonderful day
its gonna be free completly of pain
im gonna have a beautiful day
its gonna free me of this rain
im gonna have a wonderful day
its gonna be free completly of pain
im gonna have a beautiful day
its gonna free me of this rain
im gonna have a wonderful day
its gonna be free completly of pain
im gonna have a beautiful day
its gonna free me of this rain
im gonna have a wonderful day
its gonna be free completly of pain
im gonna have a beautiful day
its gonna free me of this rain
im gonna have a wonderful day
im gonna have a wonderful day
12 Jigger!s |
Jig The Gap!
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2005 25 January :: 11.07pm
:: Mood: Fantastic
:: Music: Blink !*@
Feeling It Too?
Dude Some Of My "Friends" Fucking Suck
8 Jigger!s |
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