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2003 24 December :: 7.51 pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: The Little Drummer Boy
Joy the world...the lord is come
lol my last post was a little dramatic--but true still...
so im here having nochebuena with the cubans...i hate to say i miss my cousin...im mad that i miss her..but still its fine
omg i LOVE this song..its def. the best religious christmas song.
i am a poor boy too
parapumpumpum
i have no gift to bring
parupumpumpum
to lay before the king
parupumpumpum
rapumpumpum
on my drum
ahh this holiday is the shit!
*glory to the newborn king*
merry christmas
DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 22 December :: 12.26 pm
:: Mood: indescribable
I guess there's a first time for everything..
I have never been afraid to fly...ever in my entire life have i ever EVER had the tiniest fear of flying.
Even flying 2 months after September 11, I didn't have one worry.
But today, I am truly scared.
my dad tells me that i shouldn't get scared because then the terrorists win, and even if they dont do anything, us being terrorized is them winning. and i know that is true because thats what ive been telling people afraid of flying for the past 2 years...
but today i can't seem to convince myself.
And then I get really mad because it's out of anyone's control and those guys are such evil mother fuckers and i want to scream and I get so angry that they want to do this to us.
...but then i get a sudden peace of mind.
it's like i know i'm going to die, but for some reason it's okay, and i don't know why, but i feel so at ease.
and as crazy as it sounds...i suddenly don't care.
so when i land tonight because i know i will, i'll look back at this and see how much of a retard i sounded, but if for some reason i don't land...you know i was okay.
Peace
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DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 18 December :: 8.49 pm
:: Mood: restless
wow so just one more day..while this week went by super-slow, when i put it in perspective, these past 3 weeks went by REALLY fast. the whole christmas season just zipped by.
in one week ill be really depressed...i know it'll be christmas but we dont celebrate on christmas evening...only christmas eve night and christmas morning...
ugh im totally dreading when its over
but i need to shhh and live for the moment
i need to get to florida asap..i keep getting pangs in my stomach of like different things i love about it and i just get so restless that i have to wait 3 more days...eeks
still so pissed at my cousin
and it is SO time for a vacation and some serious pampering
oh and happy hanuka everyone
Ciao
Gabriella
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DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 16 December :: 5.56 pm
:: Mood: infuriated
why??????
SCREW BOYFRIENDS
even hot ones
they take away their girlfriends from their family and go to Europe during Christmas
You know what it'll be fine
NO IT WONT AHHHHHHHHHH
whats wrong with you amanda?????????
eeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh
THANKS FOR RUINING IT YOU SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH RETARD...THANKS FOR RUINING THE DAY THAT IVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO FOR A YEAR!!!
YOU KNOW WHAT? I DONT CARE BECAUSE I'M GOING TO HAVE THE BEST TIME WITHOUT YOU...AND IT'S GONNA BE THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! and me and alina are gonna have so much fun and make so much fun of you.
I HOPE YOU HAVE SHITTY TIME
AND I HOPE HE BREAKS UP WITH YOU
SO THERE
HUMPH
Mollasess................................................................................................................................
DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 15 December :: 5.25 pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: sleigh ride
I feel like I should update but I have nothing to say...
dingalingalingadingdongding
Weekend was fun
i know we had a delay and all but today went by really really slow still...ew
...and this week is going to be like mollasses
that's just the way it is
come on its lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with youuuuuu
but Christmas is in the air so im fine
(that is unless roger clemens goes to the astros)
then i die
but for now im great
ive gotten my first gifts for my charity drive! yipee skippy!
just anxiously awaiting vacation
~much holiday love~
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DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 12 December :: 10.08 pm
:: Mood: satisfied
So i just got back from the city to see my grandpa--he wasnt as bad as i thought he would be--it was nice to see him, i should be doing that more often.
and i realized how freakin amazing new york is...its incomprehensible...we are SO lucky to have this place like this, just 25 mins away...its not something most people have--to have the most amazing place on earth in our backyarda
and papaya king hotdogs totally should rule the world.
so tomm. im going to the city AGAIN (poor me) this time to drive around with my neighbors...we go every year since 97 or 98 (the first year it was a surprise)..go to patsys pizza in spanish harlem (omggg best pizza on earth, besides italy) take a lap in time square...go see the tree..go to st. pats and light candles..and then go to serendipity or another dessert place...it was delayed because of the snow last week.
i also have gingerbreadys tomorrow...YAY!!!
sooo glad this week was over..it felt like an eternity, and it was hellish....just 5 more days..5 more long..work filled..essay filled..days.
i miss my cousins so much
sigh
10 days
may your days be merry & bright
much love
ciao
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DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 11 December :: 3.47 pm
:: Mood: disappointed
A Day that will live in Infamy...
Andy's gone...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 8 December :: 6.07 pm
:: Mood: determined
:: Music: JINGLE BELLS
GRRRRRRRR
DAMMIT WHOSE IP IS 24.45.53.126??? IVE LIKE GONE THROUGH MY ENTIRE WOOHU (YES I HAVE NO LIFE) AND FIGURED OUT WHO WROTE ANONYMOUS COMMENTS BY WRITING DOWN LIKE EVERYONE'S IP--AND I CANNOT FIGURE OUT THIS ONE! ANYONE WHO KNOWS TALK TO ME IN PERSON!
DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 7 December :: 8.08 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: dominick the donkey
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
Ahhhhhhh I just got my tree
It's soooo beautiful!
Her name is Betty (that was just the name on the tag idk)
hehehehehe
it finally feels like christmas for reaaal!
and just 2 more weeks...thats nothing!
(anybody notice how much happier i sound???)
Yep--Christmas'll do that to a person
Ciao
<3Betty
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DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 6 December :: 9.32 pm
:: Mood: restless
the snow was beautiful...but i realized that i hate playing in snow and this year am not going to play in it ever but just watch it.
i feel a lot better moodwise, im not like sad or angry, but im in a really weird mod...u know when ure somwhere but then u start to zone out and u feel like ure not there and ure just dreaming about being there and u feel like lightheaded and just weird? thats what my lifes been for the past 36 hours...weirdness, but still not bad.. but 10 days is just far to much to ask
sigh...
DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 3 December :: 9.34 pm
YOU'RE AN UPPER WEST SIDER.
You're fun, but not pretentious; down-to-earth, but
not boring; overly educated, but only mildly
irritating...and you've got the world's best
bagels AND spreads within spitting distance of
your apartment. Congratulations! You have
chosen...wisely.
What kind of New Yorker are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 3 December :: 4.09 pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: have yourself a merry little christmas
I just wrote a really really long private post...i got out a lot...the only thing from it that i really can share with the public is that
I MISS MIAMI SO MUCH i miss every aspect of it...i am so happy there..i love the atmosphere and that *feeling* i have when im there..and 17 days is just way too long.
im gonna go postal soon
and why cant i be more like elise??? she shrugs things off so easily i wish i could be more like that..i used to be more like that..what am i saying..i have no idea who i am...i dont know what i like i dont know anything about myself..im having an identity chrisis
..again im gonna go postal soon
and it doesnt feel like christmas season but it should...that makes me so mad...maybe this friday when my next tradition occurs it will be better.
and i feel like i have no one to share these things with but my woohu--u know how everyone says u tell ure pals anything and everything? well i love and adore my friends but i dont feel like i can tell them or that theyd truly LISTEN to me or understand me, i cant even tell my mom some of these things and she understands me best out of everyone...im so used to listening to everyone else i think my friends forget, i get sad too. but i really dont blame them--im a very private person..i dont wear my heart on my sleeve..i keep things in.
And im so MAD at myself for being in a bad mood i really am so mad. its christmas...what the fuck am i doing being sad? and i really have no reason to me upset..i just--am. i need to stop thinking.
i need some mindless games or television to get me to stop thinking...
haha maybe i can just watch Paris Hilton tonight on the Simple Life....that'd def. be enough
haha ok i feel a little better
wow this turhed out to be longer than my private post!
*CiAo*
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DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 29 November :: 5.43 pm
:: Mood: uncomfortable
I just saw my grandmother. I wanted to just cry. She makes me and other people who I care about so miserable. It makes me so sad because she used to be so great. I just want to slap her and tell her to wake up and realize what a selfish person she is. I know it's terrible of me to say this, and God forgive me, but I hope I never have to see her ever again.
My Grandpa (grandma's ex) is just getting worse...and the reality that I have to face just gets more real.
and we're doing something to help underprivelaged kids in the boroughs this christmas..it makes me so happy and excited. i love helping people..and reading these letters makes me feel even more and more grateful and a little guilty for being so fortunate..but still, i feel like i AM making a difference because not only is my family helping but i am using MY money for this, and not like 20 bucks, it's a very signifigant amount..and trust me its a wonderful feeling knowing you can give back.
and there's a couple things i HAVE to stop doing...
because
Santa's watching ;)
And Christmas is sooo near its so beautiful!
And so are 4 day weekends!
xoxo
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DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 28 November :: 10.23 am
:: Mood: allergic
thanksgiving and my family
thanksgiving was only semi-disastrous
no it was actually quite lovely with the occasional akwardness and badness.
it was me, mom, dad, my grandpa (dads), grandpas wife, step-grandma's son and his two children, and my dads brother, and oliver the dog, who scared the shit out of my cat i felt so bad for her :(
i had to say grace. i sounded like a flaming idiot i was like "um well we should appreciate that we have the ability to have food" yikes!
food was great, company was surprisingly good. but i felt so bad for my mom because my step-grandma, uncle, and step-uncle and her had a convo about like war and france and all of that and my mom is a major pacifist and theyre not and they were being so mean i tried to defend her but i was like wheres brig when i need her??
sigh, then theres my grandpa. he has prostate cancer thats spread to his bones, and parkinsins disease. he just got the house and layed on the couch with blankets the whole time. hes only 67 too. its so sad. it goes to show you how important your health is. he had so much life...he was a painter, he loved to gamble, travel, go to the track, play tennis, and he has a lot of money..that gives you a great 20 years, but once he lost his health none of that mattered. he was kayacking this past summer, i cant imagine what he'd be doing if he were healthy. but im stopping this is sad.
then my neighbors came over after dinner for drinks and we sat outside in front of the fire..it was was really nice.
my dads side is so disfunctional though...those damn guineas. not disfunctional like my moms side which is screaming at eachother and being really weird..disfunctional like they beat eachother up at family gatherings and threaten to kill eachother...luckily thanksgiving didnt turn out like that.
and tomorrow i have to see my grandmother who contributes much to the disfunction. but thats a whole other story.
id say: successful turkey day...sure beats being at my aunts house in miami with 70 people i dont know (uncle is irish has 7 siblings..u get the picture)
sorry this was so long--blame my family for having a lot of problems
ADVENT 2 DAYS!
ciao<3
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DrOp1bAybZ... |
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2003 25 November :: 7.51 pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: access hollywood (sigh more gossip)
I have such a weakness when it comes to my woohu...i love writing in it, i dont know why, but its just like so theraputic.
The week has been good. Interesting as well...with friends...tension i guess with some, i feel like i have a lot of pressure when it comes to that
...also that 1 friend of mine i mentioned in a previous entry i find drifting further into being so desperate to become someone else...it makes me so sad I <3 her so much and i dont wanna lose her
a more serious weakness of mine is gossip. dammit i do like it. all kinds too. celebrity esp. but still i find myself sometimes saying things that i just feel disgusted at myself for saying...but i dont know how to get my feelings for people out besides talking about it..im very verbal..but i have been so NOT judgemental lately im very proud of myself, and ive really shaved the gossip down...its just something that i feel stupid by doing and that it doesnt represent me as person, and i hate the thought of people thinking of me as some regular edgemont gossiper who has no deep thoughts and is just like everyone else because im not..
but i dont blame people for thinking that sometimes i put it on myself
...and on a more realistic side i know how we all hate gossip, but comeon we all do sometimes...but i never gossip without reasonable cause :)
wow that was a long ass paragraph tooshay to whoever read that. and yes im expecting the bitchy comments so go ahead and fire away just remember that YOU GOSSIP TOO!...
i was looking back at my woohu and at that selfishness post i wrote in june and got 12 comments...yeah whoever wrote that bitchy 1: i have ure ip address and im gonna find u so watch out fucker!
the walk from school to my house is so nice and brisk i loved it...
thanksgiving is coming...and im pretty excited, its gonna be kind of awkard though.
this was a sketchy post ew im not liking it but w/e ill just post it it took too long to delete now
ciao bellas
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