angel_bob
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2004 22 October :: 10.47pm
Something else you might not know:
You know the Indiana Jones movie with the holy grail?
There's that part near the end where the guy picks the wrong cup and turns into dust.
I've only watched it once.
I always turn my head to look away, close my eyes or leave the room.
It freaks me out.
2 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 22 October :: 6.44pm
:: Mood: meh
Whatever
I'm so bored, it's not even funny.
I was going to go to the bookstore today but I can't get anyone to take me. Sorry, Katie. I'll try tomorrow.
My mom was talking about buying me a truck from some guy because it's cheap. Eh. I don't want her to buy me a car without me working for it. I don't like gifts.
Plus I can't even drive.
I miss Ben. If he was home, I'd be talking to him or hanging out with him or doing something with him. I can't wait until he comes home.
Meh.
I need a new stereo/boom box thing. It did that scratchy, dying thing again last night. The top thing that pushes down on the CD to make it spin or something gets off-center and crooked so the CD spins sideways a little, scratches the bottom, makes a horrible noise and skips. It's so frustrating because you have to get it just right and even then the CD is scratched and skips. I got it to work after half an hour of scratchy noises but the CD skipped.
I ended up listening to 88.1.
So I'll have to burn that CD again.
Each week for French class, we have to acquire a certain number of "speaking points". A lot of the class is missing a lot of points so Madame Dudka's brilliant idea is to have us sing for speaking points.
Joy.
I'll be "singing" Fils de... by Jacques Brel on Tuesday. I already have most (if not all) of it memorized but I can't sing so I'll "Henry Higgins" it and speak-sing.
Today is Friday, which means it's movie night for my sister and me. I'm not in the mood but I'm sure if I try, it'll be fun.
I have a paper due Monday about a book I don't have. I need to get it from the bookstore. Need.
I love you all.
3 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 22 October :: 3.45pm
Thing(s) you might not know:
I don't like Ashton Kutcher because he reminds me of Nick.
1 See through my crystal fears |
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angel_bob
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2004 22 October :: 3.28pm
DDR on Ellen Degeneres!! RIGHT NOW!
2 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 21 October :: 3.59pm
Things about me you might not probably don't know:
I'm afraid of answering machines, leaving messages on them.
I'm afraid of knives, especially when people are holding them in the same room I'm in.
I'm afraid of using the oven. I don't know why. It's a gas oven and I'm always afraid it'll blow up or I'll burn myself.
I'm afraid of being in the bathroom with the shower curtain closed. It makes me think that someone is hiding in the bathroom and will jump out and kill me.
I'm afraid of walking into the bathroom and finding someone (my mom usually) dead in the bathtub.
Most of the time, I eat the food on my plate in alphabetical order. If I don't, I freak out and rename the food. The other day, we were eating turkey and corn and mashed potatoes and stuff for dinner. I ate my corn and then my turkey and freaked out because I ate my T before my M. My dad told me they were whipped potatoes and it was all okay.
I crack my jaw when I'm thinking or bored.
When I'm nervous, I play with my earlobe.
When I don't want to tell you something or I'm lying, I won't look at you and I'll say, "I don't know."
I'm always tired.
I usually don't fall asleep in school. This is the first year I have.
I usually don't do my homework. This year is the first in a while that I'm actually doing it.
I think my brother is obsessive-compulsive or at least slightly.
I'm always cold.
I don't sweat.
My feet and hands are always cold.
I'm always hungry.
I don't eat at other people's houses.
I don't remember what my aunt Patty's voice sounded like anymore.
I don't care about money. I generally give it away to people randomly. I hate spending money and only spend it on other people.
If I could, I wouldn't change anything about myself.
My biological clock is ringing. I can't wait until I'm mature enough to have a baby and start a family.
I get a bloody nose everytime I play basketball.
My mom has some bad hormone balance and is on uppers. It scares me.
I'm afraid of my sister growing up to the age and place I am in life now. It's horrible, high school, teenage years... It's the worst time in my life and I can't wait until it's gone.
I was a cheerleader for the basketball team in my elementary school here in Michigan.
My mom and I dance in the kitchen sometimes.
I can't remember the last time my parents have slept in the same bed.
That's all I can think of right now but there's probably a lot more.
I love you all.
8 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 20 October :: 10.33pm
Hold on to the concept...
Nick somehow got out of work early and stopped by.
Guess who doesn't like having his picture taken (or at least doesn't like me taking or having pictures of him).
Read more..
I skillfully got a picture of him (that's my living room in the background).
Read more..
And now I'm quite content.
I love that picture of him. It's so cute.
I was tempted to take a picture of him while he was sleeping but I didn't.
Nick's so wonderful.
I love you all.
3 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 20 October :: 7.36pm
:: Mood: angry
Jeremy Glick and that O'Reilly guy
Remember that Jeremy Glick/O'Reilly Factor thing I was exploding about?
Here's the transcript so you all know I'm not exaggerating:
Read more..
Ug. It still makes me mad.
I want to kill myself someone.
I feel ashamed to be an American. I want to get out of this country.
I love you all.
6 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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Angel_Bob
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2004 20 October :: 4.57pm
Armor for Sleep is in Detroit today. And I didn't find out until just now.
It's frustrating. 10 bucks. 7:30. If I had found out anytime before now, I might have been able to go. My dad's in Detroit right now.
Anyway, Armor for Sleep. The 28th. Spokane. The Big Dipper. Their site doesn't have a calendar on it or anything. The address is on there though. And so is the phone number.
Switchfoot is in Detroit on Freya's Day.
My mom couldn't sleep the other night. It was 5 in the morning and she was watching QVC. She ended up ordering a pre-lit Christmas tree. I must admit, it looks pretty awesome.
My mom is a major Christmas person. She plans on putting up the tree earlier and earlier each year. She was geeked that someone on 10 Mile had two Christmas trees up already.
She says we're putting up the tree when it comes.
I have no homework tonight.
Something Corporate is coming to Ferris on November 18th. It'd be cool to go if I cared more about the band.
Everyday Sunday is coming to Skelletones on the 28th. I likes thems. It's only $8 too. Hmm. Remind me to tell Nick about that.
I hope Morrissey comes around sometime. That would rock.
Um. I think I'm done. I can't think of anymore bands to rant or gasp about.
I love you all.
1 See through my crystal fears |
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angel_bob
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2004 20 October :: 12.12am
:: Mood: blah
My tired-ness
I get angered at all these people who are so anti-whoever that they'll diss your momma without a second glance and they can't even vote. Or they won't.
So I made up a song. Or a chant. Or a whatever. I'm sore and not feeling well and tired so call it whatever.
All I know is that I'm using this next time someone chucks their politics in my face.
Unless they can vote, then I'll just shrug and say that I will not get involved in a debate over a democratic process that I'm not/cannot be involved in.
I've got my views
You've got yours
We both can't vote
Go jump in a fjord
By the way, if you like Jon Stewart and you haven't seen the now infamous Crossfire debacle, go here and download it. It was amazing.
My favorite parts:
No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.
Guy with BAD bowtie: I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion.
Jon Stewart: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.
It was the best thing ever. He totally told these guys that what's going on is wrong. And it was beautiful.
Democracy in action.
I love you all.
3 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 19 October :: 9.15pm
Things aren't what they seem.
It makes no sense at all.
2 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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jaganshi
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2004 19 October :: 2.28am
Woohu invite codes. Nice.
For those about to blog....
we salute you.
1 See through my crystal fears |
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angel_bob
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2004 18 October :: 10.37pm
:: Mood: happy
We got Nick's mod chip to work and it's rockin'.
Hopefully he'll be able to come over tomorrow and we can finish setting it up to actually play games that aren't um bought. Pirated, I suppose.
He ended up semi "ghetto-rigging" it. He stripped one of the screws (the instructions he had cautioned him against that) and he used a hot glue gun and just put melted evil in the holethingy.
I didn't feel that happy "I spent $63 on a person with nothing for me in return" feeling. I don't know why. It's probably because I know that I still have money that I can still give people.
I got my paycheck today. $113.02. Rock. Hard.
Now I need a real job. I'm going to try this weekend to maybe go job hunting but I don't know.
I finished my Japanese homework so now I'm all caught up and I can go places.
My dinner consisted of two donuts and two glasses of water. I'm starving but it's way too late to eat. I guess I'll eat breakfast tomorrow instead of going on the computer.
Nick smelled delicious today. Orgasmically so. My hands smell like him. Nummy.
I'm going to update my Woohu birthday list as soon as I can because I know I missed some people's birthdays.
I think I'm done being random.
I'm wearing cute underwear. I love it. I feel cute all over.
I love you all.
2 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 18 October :: 8.20pm
:: Music: Hanging On by Everyday Sunday
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
Nick's over here.
His present finally came and he's trying to put it in his XBOX.
How are you?
I love you all.
5 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 16 October :: 8.13pm
:: Mood: pessimistic
:: Music: the soothing sounds of the dryer
can i just give up?
Recently, everything's been frustrating to the point where i just want to give up. The easiest would be Chuck E. Cheese. It takes more time than i have and im not planning on going anywhere near food service when im older, hence the pointlessness.
I also want to submit to jen. i hate being swept around but she wont see my side (which is not to spend more time with me than mushroom) and i feel like ive lost her already, which, i guess is good. i t wont be as hard when she leaves for college and i get stuck at CLC.
Neil would be the hardest. It'd be easier to get over rather than a sort of withering away. It seems like hed rather just get on with his life there rather than worry about my critisisims and hesistations. he wouldnt have to hold himself back on anything for me. yet i love him so much. i actually feel like he cares for me as much as i do him, all the while feeling as if he cant wait to get rid of me. i suppose even a tree grows attached to moss that decays it.
1 See through my crystal fears |
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angel_bob
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2004 17 October :: 12.43am
I'm not into butt floss but, smurf, who doesn't want a thong like this?
That site is hilarious. Read all the things about Poke mon. Or the thing that drew me to the site: Aquapets.
Actually, read anything.
And check out the rest of that store. Those things are funny.
I love you all.
4 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 16 October :: 11.36pm
Here's where I launch into one of my rants
I had these as postscripts on my last entry but it's just so big and so ranty that I decided to put it here.
First: What's so wrong and horrible about being a liberal? Is it because they think differently than you? Is it because they're open-minded? Or, Heaven forbid, is it because they're not Republican? Or they're tolerant?
We're watching this movie about how the FOX News Channel is...well...you know. Horrible. FOX News-like. So horribly slanted and not "fair and balanced". They just did this thing about FOX News and this kid whose father was killed on 9/11. He was on FOX News and this...asswipe...was just....
It pisses me off so much.
The kid was trying to say how he didn't think it was right that we went into Afghanistan. And the news guy jumped down his throat! He was all "BUT THEY KILLED YOUR FATHER!" And the kid was all "No, they didn't. Some radicals did. Afghanistan didn't. The people didn't. The innocent civilians didn't. The people of Afghanistan didn't." And the guy was all "THEY DID TOO!! WHAT WOULD YOUR MOM THINK ABOUT THIS!? I HOPE SHE'S NOT WATCHING! WHAT WOULD YOUR DAD THINK!? YOU'RE ANTI-AMERICAN FOR THINKING THIS AND I'M A JACKASS!" He ended up kicking the kid out of the news station. He called security on the kid.
They ran a follow-up the day after dissing the kid and another one six months later saying the kid said Bush killed his dad and he was anti-American and un-patriotic and blah blah. They ruined this kid's reputation. That's slander! It pisses me off. I already hated FOX News but this just makes me hate it more, like I want to stab people more.
The kid's name is Jeremy Glick. I love him.
Ug. I think I'm going to throw up now. This crap makes me sick.
Don't watch FOX News, it will kill your dog. I hope you're not watching it. I hope you haven't been watching it.
FOX News: Your voice of evil.
I hate this grouping of people. You can't be all one thing and none of the other. People aren't black and white.
I love you all.
5 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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Angel_Bob
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2004 16 October :: 10.54pm
[edit midnight:01]
Ran Spybot and Ad-Aware then restarted the computer. It's working now.
MSN messenger isn't working on the computer upstairs.
I'm going to try to clean it out tonight and find out why. Run Spybot, Ad-Aware, delete temporary internet files, etc.
I tried re-installing it but it's still not working.
Eh. Doesn't matter really. The laptop (I'm on it now) has the ink handwriting thing working on it so it's okay for now.
I love you all.
5 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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Angel_Bob
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2004 16 October :: 4.06pm
I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye
I love you all.
P.S. Babies!
3 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 16 October :: 12.32am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: volume one on the tv
oh, how horrible this hallmark holiday!
Today i took mushroom and campy to get sweetest day gifts for their girls. Not only are the two incredibly innovative, they are just plain cute. watching them ponder everything from the simple, generic yet romantic gifts to ironing the creases out of original ideas that would make any girl feel special and still make her laugh.
Hopefully ryan isnt an idiot and remembers the day. patrice deserves so much. Oh damn it! i have chocolate on my shirt...grr!
today really wasnt that great of a day. again, i dont feel that well, but i got through the day. I just wanted to go home and lose myself in the sims and the new downloads from yesterday...and campy and mushroom wanted to do stuff...cuz they were bored. We decided to eat but my gas light went on so i wnet home for the card. not there...i called my dad so that he could meet me at the gas station (halfway between our current locations). got gas; forgot gas cap. went to jewel. no details. jen might read. no present yet. the basic back and forth for money was frustrating. jealously...holy jealousy.
am lucky to get neil to stay on the phone with me for twenty minutes, never mind spend four hours on a project just to make me smile. come to think of it, ive only recieved cards on holidays nad birthdays....stuffed animal on christmas and birthday...poster and book...also holidays. oh and fucking flowers for dances, which after twice i told him to stop: they just die. Why cant anything be just because. im not asking for three hundred dollar stuff here.i dont know. the most creative thing hes done was just recently. he recorded "i miss you" on my voicemail played by his guitar.
odd that someone who misses me would take his video games and football games over his girlfriend on the other end of the phone or in the hotel down the street.
so theres this part of me that says, "break up. whats the point?"
Pro: sweet wehn i actually see him
Con:It's rare. two weeks turned into a month, which will soon be more.
Pro: someone ive built a relationship with who i feel actually cares for me in return.
Con:i wonder if he cares as much as i think...or am i trying to convince myself. what proof do i have?
Pro: there is none to this.
Con:video games, friends, football games more important.
Pro: says "i miss you" and "i love you"
Con:has also said "i cant miss you"
Pro: i wonder, is he also trying to convince himself that its not that bad, distracting himself?
Con:why cant he just show me he cares!?
Pro: cried before he left.
Con:for family, friends? most likely not jsut me.
to breaking up:
Pro: it'd be a hell of a lot easier to deal with. i'd get over him quicker. otherwise he's slowly ripped away...like a bandaid...less painful the faster.
Con:oh my god it makes me cry to think about it.
so my conclusion=none.
i dont know im lost and i wish someone would help me.
but then i just sound like im complaining. and who's going to listen? jen is having too many issues with mushroom to care. patrice is going to be too stressed with dracula by time i get to her and i dont even know hwo to explain it. sandy's good but i always feel bad cuz i get the answer "i wouldnt really know". Q just depresses me when i try to ask him a question like that. jill sort of forgets i asked a question and continues talking/thinking about whatever preceeded the question.
oh i love being lonely.
im just going to go play sims now
after i walk the dogs
they're the coolest people.
1 See through my crystal fears |
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angel_bob
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2004 15 October :: 12.26pm
So my "grounding" means I can't go anywhere until I'm "back on track" with my Japanese homework. This weekend I'm going to make it all up/do it all and next week I'll be able to do stuff.
Ben gave me a ride home and hung out for a while. Nick came over too and we all just sat around like we always do when we hang out. They just left for eDEN.
I'm really going to be bored next week. Ben leaves on Sunday for somewhere so I won't have anyone calling me up randomly when they're bored or anyone to call up when I'm bored. And I won't have anyone to hang out with. I guess I'll have to hang out with my other friends. Hee.
I haven't felt well at all today. It's the kind of anxiety not feeling well. I hate it. I think that's the worst.
Anyway. Nick seems to think he might be called in earlier for his surgery. We'll see.
I love you all.
P.S. Mr. Hess, my math teacher (the one with the king and queen of algebra), said that he was going to buy me a black crown to complement my black outfits. I've been Queen of Algebra for all three of our tests. Do I wear black that often?
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Angel_Bob
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2004 15 October :: 6.21am
So yesterday Nick went to the doctor.
They're going to take the plate out of his leg and put a rod down through his bone.
His surgery is on December 15th but they could call him in anytime before that.
His grandfather is on his last round of chemotherapy. His mom might have to have a hysterectomy. His eighteenth birthday was yesterday. He has a cat living in his garage.
Janina leaves tomorrow. I can't go with Katie to eDEN tonight because I'm "grounded".
I'm tired and I don't want to go to school.
Some other people have things going on in their lives that I've been through but I don't know how to help.
And I'm generally worried about everyone.
I love you all.
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angel_bob
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2004 14 October :: 11.02pm
:: Mood: tired
Happy birthday, Nick.
Yeah, it's late in the day and I said it a thousand times but happy 18 anyway.
So a lot of stuff is happening.
Not to me necessarily, but to everyone around me.
And right now, I don't feel like going over it all.
I just want you to know that shit is happening, yo.
I love you all.
P.S. They finally shipped the stupid thing. Those jerks. Estimated Delivery Date: 10/19/04. They're in Texas. That's maybe six states away. If it's not here on Saturday, I'm going to kill someone.
3 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 12 October :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: meh
Nick's present is not going to get here by Thursday unless there's some miracle. By miracle, I mean that it ships late tonight and gets here tomorrow.
He came over today. So I gave him half of his presents. Which means one. So it was a semi-anniversary/early birthday/late birthday present.
It was the present I was going to give him last year but then we broke up and it seemed inappropriate.
My parents are harping on me to get a "real job" since my "fake job" ended last week and I won't have anything until January.
My mom went as far as to say that she is "sick of supporting me".
Great. Thanks a bunch, I love you too.
So tomorrow probably, I'm going to walk over to Blockbuster and apply. Then I'll try to go job cruising this weekend and maybe get some driving experience.
Or I'll try to hoodwink people who currently have jobs into maybe getting me a job.
Oh and I feel oh so guilty that I'm filling out an online Blockbuster application right now and I'm going to go in tomorrow too.
Maybe.
It's so dumb.
I love you all.
11 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 12 October :: 3.47pm
I didn't feel like going to bed last night so I didn't.
I read The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven for a while.
I wasn't tired and it was 1 amish so I went online and talked with Ben for a bit.
I went back to bed and came back online at around 1:40.
I went back to bed because Ben wanted to go to bed and I had no one to talk to.
I ended up falling asleep around 2:30 or 3.
And I woke up with three or three and a half hours of sleep.
I wasn't tired at all. I was actually more awake than I have been for a long time.
And I'm still pretty awake.
Today in Physics, fourth hour, we went outside. It was cold. I was cold earlier this morning and Ben gave me his jacket thing so I was slightly less cold.
Blah blah
Today my brother and sister didn't have school. Tomorrow, Thursday and Friday, we have half days.
Today is four months for me and Nick.
It's cold outside. It smells like Fall. I love that smell.
My family is going apple picking tomorrow I think. Hopefully.
I'm cold.
Janina leaves on Saturday. I might cry.
I hope I get my moneys soon so I can get Ben his birthday present ASAP. Whatever that will be.
I have to write six pages for AP Lit by Thursday. Again. Well, last time it was nine pages and I wrote it the night before and I was up until 2 in the morning.
Blah de blah.
I love you all.
5 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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Angel_Bob
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2004 11 October :: 9.16pm
I just realized I've been putting my accent the wrong way on my French name in French class.
For about a week.
Sometimes I'm such an idiot.
I love you all.
4 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 11 October :: 7.54pm
:: Mood: accomplished
i smell clean.
after a weekend of hell-like painting (or painting like hell),i can finally relax
oh and another good thing is that this is never read so i dont have to put it private.
and sweetest day is the sixteenth.
im gonna go buy neil a card.
i hope jen continued exercising while i was gone. i couldnt wake her up; i could hardly get up.
i miss neil...
good news: incubus is in november and i get to go down to see him!
bad news: that's over a month away. and he's not coming to see dracula. :(
my face itches...im gonna go find lotion and buy a card and hopefully get ahold of jen. i wrote her a letter and i want to know what she thinks. ill post it in here.
later
2 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 11 October :: 6.36pm
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Happy Canuck Thanksgiving!
Today was Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day. I feel upset that I missed it.
2 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2004 11 October :: 4.19pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Heaven by Lamb
The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven
There are things you should learn. Your past is a skeleton walking one step behind you, and your future is a skeleton walking one step in front of you. Maybe you don't wear a watch, but your skeletons do, and they always know what time it is. Now, these skeletons are made of memories, dreams, and voices. And they can trap you in the in-between, between touching and becoming. But they're not necessarily evil, unless you let them be.
What you have to do is keep moving, keep walking, in step with your skeletons. They ain't ever going to leave you, so you don't have to worry about that. Your past ain't going to fall behind, and your future won't get too far ahead. Sometimes, though, your skeletons will talk to you, tell you to sit down and take a rest, breathe a little. Maybe they'll make you promises, tell you all the things you want to hear.
Sometimes your skeletons will dress up as beautiful Indian women and ask you to slow dance. Sometimes your skeletons will dress up as your best friend and offer you a drink, one more for the road. Sometimes your skeletons will look exactly like your parents and offer you gifts.
But, no matter what they do, keep walking, keep moving. And don't wear a watch. Hell, Indians never need to wear a watch because your skeletons will always remind you about the time. See, it is always now. That's what Indian time is. The past, the future, all of it is wrapped up in the now. That's how it is. We are all trapped in the now.
This is a darn good book. 10 billion times better than the movie.
I love you all.
P.S. New layout. Not much of a change. Icon with lyrics from Lamb. Comment text from Small by Lamb. Title from What Is by Lamb. Text on the status bar is (for now) non-existent. The background is actually a picture I took of my (now dead) flowers that Nick brought me. Without the flash, it made them look red instead of pink. I'm in a Lamb mood.
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