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holiday

:: 2006 12 April :: 7.23pm

Okay seriously, it's not just the hormones...haha
I find it funny that they haven't really gone anywhere since I've known them. They're still around. Still hanging out with a younger and younger crowd. What's up with that?

Anyway.
I don't mean to get all sappy and crap. But I had the ultimate best feeling today. I won't get too into it cause I think it's a personal thing for Char and I, but I felt sooo close to the baby. I can't believe I am so close to the 2nd trimester already. It seems to be going fast. I've been sick practically every morning for the past 4 weeks though. So I'm ready to start feeling better.

We bought a duplex and we move on May 6! It's so nice and pretty and at the end of a cauldesac. I'm excited yet I'm going to miss my mom and dad so much. We're so close. :(

Anyway, that's about it for now.

5 hold on tightly | let go lightly


spud

:: 2006 12 April :: 7.00pm
:: Mood: badong?
:: Music: exploding pop bottles

Ich heiße Super-fantastisch...
alrighty. band concert was last night. i really enjoyed it, and i thought it went well. my mallet parts were shaky, but no missed notes, and that was the important part. and i did a really good job on snare, i thought. i was pleased.

and talking with mom about stuff helped out a super lots. so that was good.

i need to find somebody to cover for my radio show on friday, since i'm going down to shannon's, and her mom is picking us up at 3:30.

k.

journal party at hunter's. jigga h007 h007?

4 hold on tightly | let go lightly


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 11 April :: 9.32pm

I got a full ride scholarship at Davenport.

I couldn't even breathe.

and I have no idea what i'm going to do.
oh, i forgot to mention.. i can only attend one of the grand rapids campuses. not kalamazoo or anything.
so my plans???

are like messed up

14 hold on tightly | let go lightly


tuwang

:: 2006 11 April :: 10.56am

CRUCIAL EDIT: it appears as though I was horribly misinformed, or just horribly misunderstood. Chavez has not been relected YET. However, the year 2021 is the year he will remain in office if he is re-elected. Jumped the gun on that one guys, I apologize. The rest of the information, barring that, is in fact, correct.

also... He has now formally made friends with Iran. so I officially declare liking him makes you crazy. Because, you know, it makes lots of sense to like someone who is friends with someone who has nuclear missles and wouldn't mind using them against the U.S., well anyone for that matter...

News flash, "presidente" Hugo Chavez de la Republica de Venezuela has been re-elected. Based on his re-election, Chavez has come to the conclusion that he belongs extendedly in the office of "el presidente" as part of his further missions to institute socialism into the venezuelan government. He will now, as of being "re-elected" , stay in office until the election of the year 2021.

a few facts about chavez, heres a good list for ya:

1. In the early 90's, 92 I believe, chavez attempted a military coup of the venezuelan government. which he was arrested for.

my opinion: This is your first , pretty obvious hint of bullshit, most militarily ran governments don't work out so well, I.E. cuba, former military argentina (which is now known as being the cause of Los Disemparencidos* in the 70's and 80's, a group of people who vanished without a trace, most of which were never found again, the rest permanantly scarred physically due to torture or emotionally scarred.), most third world african countries such as liberia, rwanda, sudan...

2. Hugo was displayed in a prison in public. He had a little cage.

my opinion: A mistake on the part of the government. This only made them look bad and his cause look good. Hugo, if it was your idea... good work asshole, because it helped your political future.

3. Chavez was pardoned by the next elected president for all crimes against the government

my opinion: fucking bullshit

4.Chavez changed the term of president to 6 years, extending his term

my opinion: Hugo justifies this with a referendum that allows voters to to vote on his presidency, and whether or not he should still be in office. This happens every two years. Now this is a brilliant idea, good for it. The only problem I see with it is that it may just be another ploy ( much like the public display of imprisonment ) to justify his cause.

5.Chavez has declared his presidency until 2021

my opinion: all these things put together just seems to be adding up to something... although he hasn't really don't anything that jepordizes the democracy and well being of the people at this point, other than some economic reform laws that hurt business owners.


In all honesty, I don't think he's really done anything at this point, good or bad, except change things to better his politcal future, and make himself look good. It is noted that he's done a little for medical and education reform, which venezuela needs badly.( all schools are private, and most people can't afford to send their kid to a school, let alone a university or college, which have no credibility anyway except for possibly the univeristy of caracas) The poor are still poor and getting poorer, the rich are still getting rich, it's as simple as that. And while I'm far from socialist at all, the obvious goal for any economy or government is economic fairness. Everyone should have equal oppurtunity to earn their money. But it's not like that. The poor sell second hand goods and food on the corner, an average wage that I grasped from people was about four dollars an hour, and the infastructure in metropolitan and rural areas is horrible. This can be partly blamed on chavez, for contuining the building of Ranchos in caracas and metropolitan areas. Ranchos make up just about 60% of the city of caracas. I know this, because I've seen it. The projects of new york or compton or any "ghetto" have nothing on this. They're everywhere... The garbage system is poorly handled as well. Good luck seeing a clean street.

Hugo Chavez has spent more time on creating enemies with the United States and other countries, and creating allies that are about as valuable as 1 unit of the venezuelan currency (2150 per dollar, you do the math) then he has spent trying to better venezuelas economic situation. He has so much power with his oil. Instead of telling us to fuck off, he could be making more money by negotiating instead of rasing prices just to piss us off. He's been in office for 8 years now, and will be for another 15, and I doubt he will do anything good for the economy. I can't really know that for sure, but I just don't see him doing anythign but cause trouble...

Liberal media loves chavez, but that's an automatic, given his bad relationship with Bush. Chavez constantly talks about going to war with us. I heard himself say it on these little public announcments he does everyday, he says it atleast once a week... I don't know about you guys, but I tend to not be friends with the guys who want to shoot me. And the truth is, a big part of the downfall is the oil, but that he should deal with because he "cares for the people" so much.


The venezuelan government is now far more militaristic then it used to be... according to everyone I talked to. I never heard differently.

Basically, my main issue with chavez, is he's setting himself with the ability to be a dictator, not coming through on his promises, and yet the media loves him when they shouldn't... there is nothing really that spectacular about him that a revolutionary hasn't done better in the past, other than he called an american president an Asshole.. I can name LOTS of people who've done that...


In Conclusion:

He's done nothing good , nor bad. I dont' trust him at all... you can't tell me that a leader of a country just saying that he's going to stay until 2021 , even with a new vote every 2 years to see if he should stay, isn't pretty suspicious of him trying to grab some more power. I'm convinced.

3 hold on tightly | let go lightly


spud

:: 2006 11 April :: 1.56am
:: Mood: past dead
:: Music: kein musik

eine neue eintragung
(copied from open diary)

Ja. Das heißt "a new entry" (in an account of something). Diese ist ein klein Teil von meine Lebe, ich denke, also das macht gut.

Sonntag ist Oster. Die Familie von Shannon hat mir für diesen Feiertag geeinladen. Das ist sehr gut. Aber, ich weiß nicht was meine Familie für Oster macht. Ach, so... OK, ich soll spreche Deutsch nicht mehr.

i'm getting better though, and that's reassuring. it's by far my best class, and the most interesting. and i seem to be progressing nicely. i'm excited about next year. although it seems to be quite the task to get a minor. i guess i would need 22 credits BEYOND 201, and i'm just not sure about that. hell, i don't even know if i can get that much for my major... ; )

band performance is tomorrow night. i got my suit and stuff all squared away. i'm so sharp when i'm dressed up. or at least i feel like it, which is really all that matters.

i bet shannon will be upset with me. she was over here a little bit ago, and i kept falling asleep. and now that she left, i'm up and awake. i didn't intend for it to go that way. i'm gonna go brush my teefers and hit the sack now.

6 hold on tightly | let go lightly


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 10 April :: 6.19pm

And in other news... MAJOR apartment hunt today... unfortuatlnleyeyeyeyeye ly by myself because Ro MAN had to work. it was quite a day. driving from 9-4.... i had to stop on the way home and sleep at a gas station for a half hour because i kept falling asleep on the expressway. I think I have it narrowed down to two different ones.... Westchester Woods and our orginal Alpine Village. We will look at them (Hopefully) one final time on Prom day, the 28th because we will not be seeing each other, nor traveling to K-Zoo before that date. It will be another long day.



I need to do some major budgeting and calculating and calling and checking and mailing and faxing and working so that I can do some paying and mailing and giving away money-ing.....

Frustration ensues. But thats okay. Anything to get out of here.

I am pretty sure I am taking a year off. I know that's what Roman is doing. We will be trying to save every penny we can. Then I think I'm going to go to Olympia or Davenport for medical assisting which is not my dream job, but I dont think I have any dream job other than being a mom and the job placement is 99% so I think it is a good idea. If I dont do that, then I think I may actually go to college. I dont know, thats just what I'm thinking. But I'm pretty positive I dont want to do cosmetology anymore. Eh it just doesn't appeal to me very much anymore. Clients and making everyone happy and it's the same kind of shit you have to deal with as a waitress. Acting like you are the nicest person in the world with absolutely no problems just so you can get a big tip and their business in the future. I don't want to do that. I can handle being nice, but OVERWHELMINGLY PERFECT is another story.

I like the idea of having a year where I just have ONE thing going on... WORK. I LOVE the idea of having a year where I can finally enjoy being WITH Roman instead of with him but away from him.

I've never had any time where I could just be with him whenever I wanted. We've always been restricted or away from each other. How great will it be to finally be able to be together every day. Perfect.

*sigh of relief* School tomorrow is not something I"m looking forward to, at all.

4 hold on tightly | let go lightly


jedibumblebee

:: 2006 10 April :: 7.00am


Stefanie --

[adjective]:

Fuzzy to the touch



'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

2 hold on tightly | let go lightly


sugarmouse0587

:: 2006 9 April :: 11.18pm

two days till i go under the knife. i'm trying to tell myself not to be scared, but i am.

oh the other side though. school is almost done. i don't really know if that's a good thing. i get to lose more friends. yay. and i still don't have a job.

why am i so unhireable? seriously. i don't know if you know this, but i'm kind of a big deal. but fer rel though. i like working and i'm smart and responsible and i have good references. i also have experience. i don't say this much

but what the fuck?
i was harassed at my last job and i had to fucking quit, i didn't even call osha or anything. no one even tried to convince me to stay and make them behave. and those guys didn't get fired or in trouble. and then no one would hire me.

i'm blaming cedar springs for this. it's forever tainted my life.

FUCK YOU CEDAR FUCKING SUCKING SPRINGS.

6 hold on tightly | let go lightly


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 9 April :: 12.22am

I love this song and it is currently my favorite ever. lol

Yeah, Um, I think ima try somthin tonight that i aint,
that i aint neva did before on this one, lets go


Get ya lighters, roll dat sticky, lets get high (lets get higher)
Got that Blueberry Yum Yum And its dat fire(its that fire)
Get ya lighters, roll dat sticky, lets get high (lets get higher)
Got that Blueberry Yum Yum And its dat fire(its that fire)


Got a lil bit of Blueberry Yum Yum
and I neva would of thought that it could taste this goooooood
Thank God for the man who put it in my hoooooood
Its got me singin melodies I neva thought i woooouuuuld
Im feelin sorry for the homies that be smokin wooood
Chop Chop, break it down for a playa like me me me me me
Im bout to find me a woman that skeet skeet skeet skeet
Ima keep smokin till i reach my peak peak peak peak
Or till im stuck and my body feels weak weak weak weak weak
headed down to the doungeon wonderin, if they got, some moore
and if they dont then ima have ta settle fa some drooooo
and it just aint cool cuz right on afta, ima have ta gooooo
and continue on my mission fishin for tha Yum Yum but im movin sloooow


Get ya lighters, roll dat sticky, lets get high(lets get higher)
Got that Blueberry Yum Yum And its dat fire (its that fire)
Get ya lighters, roll dat sticky, lets get high (lets get higher)
Got that Blueberry Yum Yum And its dat fire(its that fire)


Yes, fire fire got me so tired ima stop drop and rooooooolll
With a wet towel under the doooooooor
Dont pass it I cant take it no mooooore
Somebody take a trip down to the stoooooore
hurry please cus i need some snacks snacks snacks snacks
and how long will it take to get back back back back
Yes indeed ima lil off track track track track track
Off this weed and im full of that yak yak yak yak yak
Get on in that stankin Lincoln crank it up and riiiiide
and it aint enuff room to fit tha other chicks inside
Im so hungry wit tha munchies ima eat everything in siiiiiight
Me and my blueberrys together and everythings all right


Get ya lighters, roll dat sticky, lets get high (lets get higher)
Got that Blueberry Yum Yum And its dat fire (its that fire)
Get ya lighters, roll dat sticky, lets get high (lets get higher)
Got that Blueberry Yum Yum And its high (its that fire)


Get the propane, rollin thangs and lets blow this place uuuuuup
You already know whats uuup
I mighta have to pay some extra buuuuuucks
But I really dont give a fuuuuuck
Cuz a brotha feels great great great great great
But im barely awake wake wake wake wake
All bent outa shape shape shape shape shape
So stomp on yo brake brake brake brake brake
If u token good, then all my smokas, let me see ya flame
Dont know what ya got but my bag will, put yo stuff, ta shame
All tha different kinds of otha flavors, they dont mean a thang
You cant compare it dont stare cuz i got the ultimate Mary Jane

Get ya lighters, roll the sticky, lets get high (lets get higher)
Got that Blueberry Yum Yum And its dat fire (its that fire)
Get ya lighters, roll the sticky, lets get high (lets get higher)
Got that Blueberry Yum Yum And its dat fire (its that fire)

.........

doesn't it just make ya wanna?!

let go lightly


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 8 April :: 10.29pm

Cute huh?

let go lightly


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 8 April :: 11.58am

blH BLAH BLAH

yeah so yesterday when i was with roman we put a deposit on an apartment. (Alpine Village, Stef. what do you think?) and it's refundable incase in the end we decide not to go with it.

then we were walking down that street that is the KZ mall and there was this guy playing saxaphone and we gave him all our quarters and then we found out it was the "Art Hop" so we had more to do. And then there was this thing at the state theatre it was Sonny Landreth was there. And we had no idea who it was but we just walked around more and then on our way back to the car, this guy comes up and he's like "Hey do you guys need tickets to the show" and we look at him suspiciously and he says "they're free" and I said "are you sure?" and he said "yeah i get them free from work, Im just gonna stand here until someone wants them. It should be a good show" and so I said "sure" and at first Roman didn't want to, especially since we didn't even know who this guy was but I said come on, it's free, if its horrible we can just leave so we went and the first band J.R. Crew or something was really good lol and the guy came off the stage and we were in the front row and he like sweat on us it was so gross lol but hilarious and then we only stayed a little whie for the Sonny Landreth guy. He was a really great guitar player and all the music was really great but we just had to get going because it was so late and there were so many old people standing around us dancing like freaks. lol man they really like their jazz.

oh but guess who else was there- . yeah , MRS MILLARD. haha we didn't even know who this guy was and Mrs Millard and her husband drove an hour to KZOO just to see him lol. So i said hi and I can't wait to tell everyone me and mrs millard rock out at the same concerts. wow.

Then we got dinner and when we were going home, i was following roman to the expressway and we were at a stoplight and these crazy ass bitches in the car next to me start screaming all this shit and saying stuff.. I dont even know I couldn't understand them but they just kept calling me a bitch and screaming at me and one of them in the backseat like stood up and stuck her body out of the car and was like yeah thats right bitch! and all this stuff and I honked my horn to get roman's attention and then theystarted honking their horn and roman got out of the car cuz he was like what the fucks going on and my window is broken so it doesn't roll down and I didn't open my car door but i should have but I was pointing to the side trying to tell roman to pull into that gas station on the corner and he thought i was telling him to get back in his car so he did. and then the next thing i know i look over and this fat bitch is knocking on my fucking window and shouting stuff. I was like seriously what the fuck is your problem. and then she just got back in her car and as soon as i pulled up a little they started doing the same thing to the car behind me. I swear they looked like a pack of apes. they were like howling all this shit. Crazy fricken bitches.

Yeah so that was my day yesterday for the most part.

lol

let go lightly


stinko

:: 2006 7 April :: 12.57pm

only like three weeks.
i still have . . .
four tests
three projects
two papers
one lab final

this is making my brain hurt.

but summer is going to be bomb.
im leaving the state at least once if it kills me.

5 hold on tightly | let go lightly


sugarmouse0587

:: 2006 6 April :: 11.33pm

am i ever going to stop being such a child? why can't i just stop it? or be calmer or not such a hugh bitch.

1 hold on tightly | let go lightly


tuwang

:: 2006 6 April :: 11.33am

I think I honestly have a fucking placenta for an english teacher... or atleast a teacher that does as much planning as an broken placenta... ok, so maybe a little graphic on the imagery , but I'm right. Are you ready for a list? well... you're getting one...

1) She never tells us what she wants. Like, I don't mean she gives a title for the project, and then dilly dallys around the details. I mean she doesn't fucking tell us what she wants. If she wants a summary paper, she'll slightly mention a summary paper being due sometime in the paradox of time, and then , BAM, it's due. I have no problem doing any of the work, that's what school is. But you know... it'd be nice to know that I have fucking work to do, so I could atleast make some feeble attempt at doing it. That's like kidnapping me in the middle of the night, throwing me out of a plane, and then claiming it's my fault I didn't have a parachute. " Well, it's somewhere in small print on the syllabus you didn't ever get to see, you should have known.

2) She's old, and senile. If she could give you a stare other than " Oh fuck I think I just shit my pants, maybe if I don't move they won't notice", then she would. But unfortunately, she's at the point where she's no longer in control of her oraphices(sp).

3) She's knows alot about literature, and can quote it, but that's completely irrelevant in a english 150 class. It's fucking great that you've studied english for 87 years, and have met Thoreau in person, now stopping babbling on and teach me something.

4)Her stupid explanations of a definition essay. She remembers useless things... like the definition of chair and responsibility... but seems to have forgotten the definition of the verb " to teach".

5)She likes to talk about how bad at her quizzes we are... when we have no idea what the hell she wants. She is a huge fan of confusing random questions. For example... abbreviation, a simple subject. Nothing too complicated in abbreviation... until this "professor" (and note that i put professor in quotes) got a hold of it. two questions I thought were specifically hilarious *this is directly from the quiz*:

A) ... and then you must take the F.A.S.F.A. test... I recieved -4 points on this question because I didn't know what FASFA stood for, even though I mentioned that it doesn't need the periods... also note that no where in the section of abbreviations does it mention that I have to write out the whole thing. which is bullshit... I argued with her and her jowls jiggled so hard with spite that she gave into the pain, and eventually gave me my points back because it was a ridiculous response.

B) Am. and the Prof. went out.....
This one was beautiful because ... well... fucking Am. could be a numerous, if not infinite, number of things. So as an answer I put "amber? in hopes that it would be right. Well ofcourse not... it was supposed to stand for " ambassador". First of all, in the sentence it doesn't make any fucking sense. Unless the guys name actually is Ambassador. There's no goddamn artical to support it being Ambassador. Who the fuck would name their kid Ambassador? this as well was argued out. But she was trying to take points off, hoping that maybe she could slip it by me.

In her old, decrepit stage of life, she needs to find a way to make her self feel worth while, so she makes sure nobody can pass her class. This means her class is challenging, and is thereby teaching lots of material. When really she teaches nothing at all. She might even have a radar for passing students:

Radar: Warning, a student is passing your class
Her: Shit... alright, jeeves, throw in the Am. question on the next test, that'll get 'em.


I can't wait for a new teacher... I'm honestly convinced that my english 250 class will infact be easier to follow than my 150. Fuck that teacher.

as a wise man once said : " The thing about pourcuipine balls is.... they're small and they don't give a shit..."

8 hold on tightly | let go lightly


spud

:: 2006 6 April :: 2.01am
:: Mood: i must be eeemo...
:: Music: the Impressions - People Get Ready

these are rhetorical...

i can't focus. i can't think about anything else. i'm just so lost in my own head. so zoned out. i'm sick of having responsibilities. i don't want them anymore. i just want to subsist, but i'm in a society that won't allow it. and i want to figure out who i really am, and what i'm really here for. how the fuck am i supposed to do that when i can't even properly exist here? and how am i supposed to have a healthy relationship with anyone when i'm insane? and is there a way to have a truly healthy relationship without treating it like you're fucking married? i mean, dad and kathy are great, and i'm really happy for them and the steps that they've taken together. and i would one day like to take those same steps. but not right now, man. not right now. right now i'm supposed to be crazy college party all the time like. i'm supposed to skip my classes. i'm supposed to ignore this paper i'm writing. i'm supposed to waste mommy and daddy's money.

right?

i'm supposed to be a general education loser. i'm certainly not the "honors" type. but now that i'm here, it's like i'm stuck in the commitment. like i have to finish what i started unwittingly. that's really fucking fair. say "hey, umm... listen, we're not going to tell you what you need to do. we'll just give you free reign, and you can guess a lot. and for every wrong guess, you get an anal probe and a loan to pay off. how does that sound? good." then when i fuck up, i guess i just should have known better, according to them. but HOW oh wise ones. HOW am i supposed to know better, when in actuality, i know virtually nothing at all. and what little knowledge i do have is so trivial, so mundane, that it's not even worth knowing.

feelings suck, because they lie to me. and i have a hard time discerning between them and the truth.

i wanna go to bed.

6 hold on tightly | let go lightly


JediBumblebee

:: 2006 5 April :: 10.40pm

To Do:

1. Schedule engagement pics (little late?)
2. Set menu with caterer
3. Set up cake and cake design
4. Pick menswear.
5. Order response cards for invitations.
6. Finish making favors.
7. Buy wedding bands.
8. Dress fittings.
9. Hair Trial
10. Find reading for vows.
11. Seating chart
12. Marriage license
13. Groomsman, parents, and flowergirl gifts

I think that is everything I HAVE to do.
My dress was supposed to be in 4 days ago, so I am totally freaking out... I think once it is in I will be a lot more relieved. Everything else is negotiable, but getting my dress is important. Well I guess the marriage license is pretty necessary too...that's the easy part.

Lists lists lists. That's what I do when I start to get stressed out.

let go lightly


JediBumblebee

:: 2006 5 April :: 10.07pm

Please take this survey thingy for me. :)

Positives
Negatives

2 hold on tightly | let go lightly


holiday

:: 2006 5 April :: 6.26pm

Whooooooo
Found my wedding dress!!!!!
We're getting it tomorrow! YAY!!!!

whoa. i was going to put it on here, then i realized Charlie gets on here sometimes. that was a close one! guess you'll all have to wait to see it. it's beautiful!!!

1 hold on tightly | let go lightly


JediBumblebee

:: 2006 5 April :: 12.42pm

OMFG...

It's my negative four months' wedding anniversary.

I'm officially freaked out.

let go lightly


sugarmouse0587

:: 2006 5 April :: 12.26pm

working in a group gives me the mega droop.

yeah i said it.

and piano is so painful that i think it's making me stupid.

fer real though. i only have like three weeks left of school. that's cool. i'm don't with my oral exam in spanish. annnndddd.

i'm frustrated.

5 hold on tightly | let go lightly

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