holiday
|
::
2006 25 January :: 4.52pm
I'm really happy with life right now. Everything is great. For once it just feels like things are balanced.
I'm proud of what I've accomplished too. I can't believe (it seems) like my first year is almost done. It just feels like it's going fast. It's a good feeling though, I'd like to get out as soon as I can. But I really like it. I've paid off my own car. $5000. That felt good. I've got a great job and am gaining more and more experience. I made the Dean's list. I like being home and relaxing and actually have time for that. I'm with the man I love and we've got a great future ahead of us. I have great friends. I love my classes. I'm just overall very satisfied.
I went to Spectrum today and learned a lot. I guess there's a job opening, but it's third shift. I may take it...who knows. It'd definitely be an experience. But until my classes are over I'd only get 4 hours of sleep w/both my jobs and classes. That wouldn't be so great.
2 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
.j.e.s.s.
|
::
2006 25 January :: 10.45am
people astonish me in the absolute worst way possible.
i hate it here.
and i hate you
let go lightly
|
|
.j.e.s.s.
|
::
2006 25 January :: 7.15am
ughghhghgghhghghghhgh alll you stupid people ughghghghhghgh
i'm never taking it for granted anymore. way too many stupid people do. ughghghgh
sdgas
dglksadg
sldkgj;sldkfsd;f
i can tell today everything is going to piss me off.
i miss roman and for real this time i wont see him for... let see: not this week not next week not the next week after that but the next WEEKEND after that i will see him.
fuck this.
let go lightly
|
spud
|
::
2006 25 January :: 12.54am
:: Mood: ich denke immer...
:: Music: alan parsons - i robot
so, about that life thing.
perpetually pensive. constantly concerned. invariably immersed in idle imaginings and malignant mental machinations.
i guess sometimes they're beneficent. but it seems to be the lesser proportion of the time.
anyway. i've been thinking. with various parts of my body. and in the end i still don't know what the hell is going on with me. and we had a nice talk today, even. and i'm still so lost.
Ich denke immer, aber auch glaube nicht.
i always think, but never know.
band tonight was a little more organized, which i appreciated. i still have all the same feelings of inadequacy though.
feelings are so fickle. yet so powerful. it's absurd. you can't rely on them for diddly squat, and in the end they serve little purpose. but life without them would be meaningless. so, i guess that's their purpose. feelings give life meaning. but they still suck. i'm sticking to my guns on that one. and yet they're awesome.
dammit! i'm so noncommital.
at the very least, they certainly make it extremely difficult to function properly.
well. g'night.
let go lightly
|
|
.j.e.s.s.
|
::
2006 24 January :: 2.48pm
i begged you not to go i begged i pleaded
no new years day. to celebrate . no chocolate covered candy hearts to give away
lalalalala
i just called to say i love you
i just called to say how much i cared
i just callded to say i love you
and i mean it from the bottom of my heart
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
i hate school i'm gonna bust some mofos up.
.Noferreal.
1 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
stinko
|
::
2006 24 January :: 11.04am
winter is too long.
and cold.
it's so wierd you wouldn't think that all this snow would make it cold outside. . .
let go lightly
|
JediBumblebee
|
::
2006 23 January :: 9.20pm
http://paulandstefanie.weddingannouncer.com/
2 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
spud
|
::
2006 23 January :: 4.41pm
:: Mood: funny
:: Music: SOAD
funny "ha, ha," or funny like a clown?
yeah. so, last night's escapades were quite unexpected. not unpleasant, by any means, but thoroughly surprising and utterly disorienting.
and the same question i always have for myself... now what?
although it might be the same old question, it's definitely a new twist. very different.
i realize i'm being all cryptic. maybe *gasp* it's because i don't want to broadcast everything to the world. and that's when you say "then why are you typing it in your journal?" and really, it's a fair point. if i don't want you to know, then why am i telling you? it's because i need to at least get it off my chest... regardless of whether it's comprehensible to my audience or not. it's merely self-serving catharsis, okay? sorry, i know i'm a greedy bastard, but there you are.
yeah. i can't really think of much else at the moment. so i don't have much else to say.
although i have to say, this whole situation has had a very positive impact on my relationship with katie. that's really inexpressibly marvelous.
heinous. aww.
4 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
sugarmouse0587
|
::
2006 23 January :: 12.25pm
brokeback mountain. real downer. i couldn't sleep last night. i was that upset. i'm sill kind of in a funk about it.
i needs me peepers.
2 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
spud
|
::
2006 22 January :: 2.45pm
:: Mood: Apathetic
:: Music: Stabby Rip Stab-Stab
i must be emo...
hey guys. good weekend. no, GREAT WEEKEND! die gutes Wochenende.
i went skiing. did my radio show. had girls' night out. had guys' night out. did dishes twice. made french toast. cleaned the kitchen, top to bottom. and didn't do any homework.
what more could a growing college boy ask for?
sex? sure. but why would i, when i could clean the kitchen instead? i mean, seriously.
naw. lots of girl drama in the past week or two. still continuing. no sex though, which is a plus. that would complicate several matters much more than my puny, feeble mind could comprehend / tolerate.
"your head a splode"
oh jah, oh jah!
smile please. the world needs more lerts.
let go lightly
|
|
holiday
|
::
2006 21 January :: 1.05pm
Yikes.
Hmm....
Work in 2 hours. :-/ my elbow hurts for some reason.
Oh, driving was so crappy this morning. I got home around 1:30 or so. It took me FOREVER and I took all back-roads cause I didn't want to crash on the expressway again. So scary.
So I watch the news and it was so funny. They were showing a livecam of the s-curve and how bad the roads were. Then they said that it hasn't stopped people in grand rapids from enjoying their night. And they showed this clip of a clerk getting robbed! Whoops. hahaha they go "Oops, we'd like to apologize that was the wrong clip!"
2 papers to write tomorrow then Monday we have a tour of Spectrum Health.
And tonight I get out at midnight or later. whoo!
3 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
.j.e.s.s.
|
::
2006 20 January :: 9.26pm
i am in a really bad mood right now...
i have to go to lazer skate in like 5 minutes and work the entire night at all nighter and for what? ... to earn about 50 fucking bucks.
i swear i should just become a prostitute i'd make so much more money. seriously i can't even believe myself that i'm staying up an entire night working for only 50 or 60 dollars.
and then.. tomorrow , i have to babysit. can you believe it. right
and then Sunday to top it all off......................... the day i'm supposed to see roman ONCE A FRICKEN WEEK
we're not even seeing each other this week
oh but next week
well next week
we wont see each other either
and probably not the fucking week after that until he gets his first paycheck at his new job down there
god i'm gonna fucking cry i know i'm trying to be freaking strong or WHATEVER but hey it's not working when i dont see him for more than a fucking week.
So yeah i guess what i'm saying is i HATE lack of money and i HATE not seeing roman so dont take seeing your loved one for granted okay.
ughasdlgkjasdl;gkjsdgl;kasjdgl;jasdgl;jl; jwhat a fucking shitty day.
1 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
stinko
|
::
2006 20 January :: 12.14pm
does anyone else feel a little weird when they are in a computer lab and the clicks on your keyboard are quite a bit more spaced out than blazing fingers next to you?
whatever.
so i decided to go into pharmacy, and i talked to the councler yesterday. turns out that i need to take 2 bios and a microbio all with labs. 6 chem. classes with labs, and calc.
sometimes i think that i have the worst ideas ever. how in the hell am i supposed to complete that without going completely insane???
basically my life is going to suck for the next six to eight years. by the time i actually have my degree i wont have any hair. just clumps of it stuck in my fingernails.
no but, calc is going to be fun right? ha ha hhhhhhhhhh.
ok so it's not. whatever.
5 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
holiday
|
::
2006 19 January :: 6.24pm
Oh my goodness! AHHHHHH It's killing me!
I just got a letter from GFS (Gordon Food Service) asking for chefs to work in their test kitchen. That was the job I was striving for! And get this:
$20/hr.
For only 4 weeks of the year, we choose which weeks. For 10 hours a day.
Add that all up, that's $1000 a week! $4000 a month.
And so I'm writing them back. I would love to work there. But I don't have all my years in yet for the requirement. But I'm writing them anyway so they keep me in mind for the future. I would've been able to work both jobs, too.
Dang.
2 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
holiday
|
::
2006 19 January :: 2.46pm
i don't know. ugh. i don't feel good enough. tonight's going to be fun though.
let go lightly
|
|
holiday
|
::
2006 18 January :: 8.42pm
:: Music: Death Cab For Cutie- Passenger Seat
Wow. Crazy stuff happened today. I feel kinda bad... Oh well.
Char and I had fun today. It was just overall a really good time. I think we needed to laugh more. So that was good. :-)
We're in love. It's nice. I got some pics developed today, here's a creepy one I took...
1 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
.j.e.s.s.
|
::
2006 18 January :: 6.54pm
so i figured out what i hate so incredibly much
and i would never do that to any of you so i really hope karma comes back to you to get you what you deserve.
ughghghghg
1 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
JediBumblebee
|
::
2006 18 January :: 2.13pm
grrrrrrrr.
I am not a bridezilla, I am just realizing who my friends really are.
1 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
spud
|
::
2006 17 January :: 12.00am
:: Mood: messed...
:: Music: burnin' for buddy
well, i had yet another marvelous dinner... white rice, bacon and eggs. mmm... so good. with a little mrs dash. oh shit! i made coffee... whoops. i'm sure it's cold by now. oh well.
hm.
*checks*
...
AMAZING!!!
it's still warm! not piping hot, but hey. beggars can't be choosy.
.
i'm just totally weirded out. i didn't get over katie over break like i thought i had. so it's weird again with that. and hunter's ex is seeking psychiatric help, and i talked with her last night for a couple hours, and i really hope she's not into me. i mean she's nice and all, but that's a lot of baggage i would thoroughly regret.
and somehow i never realized it before, but ellen is crazy hot. i'm not sure just how i missed that vital part of the scene, but i did.
i've been running like crazy and accomplishing nothing all week already. well, i guess i accomplished something... i had band rehearsal tonight. that's right, band rehearsal. feel free to laugh now, or any time henceforth. i know i'm laughing heartily, myself. what foolishness, gah.
meh. well. yeah. 'tis life, for yon lad (me).
Heute, ich habe manchmal Hausaufgaben für Deutsch. Nach das, ich muss treffe mit der Schauer. Ich bin nicht so sauber (und habe verrückthaare)
das ist sehr... yucky.
12 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|
.j.e.s.s.
|
::
2006 17 January :: 10.14pm
lol hahaha omg. jess i have something to tell you. omg............. rarr.
2 hold on tightly |
let go lightly
|
|