Kandy

:: 2009 9 March :: 7.17pm

So I just read like 300 and some of my passed entries.
And I can't believe how lame they all are.
I wish I could just turn my mind off sometimes..

3 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2009 8 March :: 1.40pm

I don't even know where to begin..

6 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2009 7 March :: 2.03pm

I really wish that the drama would just stay as far away from me as it could.
I absolutely hate it.
I hate it when people say anything that involves my boyfriend cheating on me.
Especially when we are barely apart, and he really doesn't have time to cheat.
It literally makes me sick to my stomach when someone says those words.
I instantly get tears in my eyes, and my stomach gets knotted up and I can't swallow.
It doesn't happen because I feel like I can't trust him.
And even though I know I can trust him, it still gets my mind thinking, well can I really trust him, how faithful is he, has he done it before, who is it..
It happens because I care so fucking much about him, and the thought of it eats me up inside, because I already don't feel good enough for him.
The thought of losing him kills me inside and I feel like my whole world is crashing and burning right before my eyes and there is nothing I can do about it.

I swear I go through this atleast 5 times a year, at minimum.
Where someone says he is cheating, or that he made a move on them, or something that involves him and another girl.

People fucking suck.
And they are lucky I'm not completely crazy.

:: 2009 6 March :: 2.29pm

I hate when my friends are all unhappy and their worlds are all falling apart.
The selfish part of me hates it, because it makes me reflect on my life.
The unselfish part of me hates it, because I hate watching my friends go through all that crap.

The only unhappy thing I have to look back on right now, is the fact that I have had a migraine for 2 almost 3 days now, and nothing is relieving the pain.
That and my cat is a bitch. I love her, I really do, but she needs a new home.

:: 2009 2 March :: 6.10pm

I have an interview on Wednesday at 4 pm.
An office position at Town and Country Title Services.
Its 40 hours a week too! :)
Now I must find something to wear..

:: 2009 27 February :: 10.46am

Needs a washer and electric dryer..
Badly.
It's been like 6 months that I have gone without. Can't do the laundromat thing anymore.

:: 2009 23 February :: 7.43pm

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days I have had in a long time.
I managed to lock my keys in my car in the ghetto.
And apparently my body felt it neccessary to breakdown at that moment, because I balled my eyes out.
Crying in public, not my thing.

:: 2009 14 February :: 8.55pm

I got a ring!!
Not an engagement ring though..
But a thoughtful, pretty, and shiny one..
And once again, the tears begin. but happy ones this time..

Upchuck

:: 2009 5 February :: 5.50pm

Does anyone have any thoughts on what a "traditional" American is?

I mean everyone probably thinks they know this it they substitute typical or conservative, but what do think a traditional American is?

3 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2009 1 February :: 11.20am

We all went out for Sara's birthday last night.
I drank..
Possibly way more than I should have, considering today I have to attend my grandma's 80th birthday party.
I don't do this whole hungover thing very well.
It's definitely not my gig.
And after the birthday party, Mike is having people over for the superbowl.
Somewhere in there I plan on falling into a deep sleep like coma and not waking up until tomorrow when I have to go to work.

And all I want right now is a back massage and something water that doesn't taste like crap.
If you want to take care of me, I would not object at this moment. haha

:: 2009 30 January :: 5.09pm

So it has been kind of a rough week for some, pretty normal for others, and for the rest of us certain events really had no effect.
Mike's cousin killed himself on monday.
No one is really quite sure why, but there have been accusations made.
He left a couple of notes, but things are still pretty up in the air.
Today was the funeral. Not really much crying, but then again most of the family had earlier in the week to cope with the death and slowly piece themselves together for the funeral.

Shit happens I guess..

chelthesmell

:: 2009 23 January :: 11.48pm
:: Mood: grateful
:: Music: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

=)
My life right now = Could not get any better

...

<3

2 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2009 18 January :: 4.38pm

Right now is one of those moments where a nap didnt cure my bad mood..
So here's to hoping that a bowl of chocolate ice cream covered in chocolate syrup will..

chelthesmell

:: 2009 12 January :: 3.37pm
:: Mood: grateful

Brody Peter-Audley Dahlke was born January 8th 2009.
8 lbs 6 oz 21.5 inches long.
He is perfect in every way.
And I'm not just saying this because he's my baby, but he is probably the most gorgeous baby in the world. Seriously, he could be a baby model or something.
I love him.
=) <3

7 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2009 10 January :: 10.20am

For years, I have had dreams that have made me wake up out of a dead sleep and look around wondering if it was actually real or not.

And last night was one of those dreams.

I had a dream that I thought I was pregnant, and then a few days after thinking that, I gave birth to a 3 month old like it was nothing. And of course everyone was in shock, and my landlords filed a complaint for not being informed and I had to sign a contract that if anything ever happened like that again I would be evicted from my house. My friend Sara quit talking to me. And a group of people were standing in a circle doing tattoo's on each other, all while water was being sprayed all over them, and my baby was asleep on the bed like 4 feet away from them. Then, when I took my baby out of that room, I went into a lobby, and the neighbors I grew up next to were there, and one of them would not even look at me because I was holding a baby. And to finish off the dream, Mike and I went to Meijer to buy chocolate chip cookies.

2 No way... | Tell me...

box	:: 2009 5 January :: 1.25pm so this is pretty sweet, im waiting to get my hair cut at Judes Barber shop. I have to go to the SoS and then to a job interview.. Wish me luck. 3 No way... \| Tell me...

:: 2009 3 January :: 12.40am

Seriously, the love of my life.

Indeed.

Oh, can't forget these little guys..

:: 2008 31 December :: 6.19pm

2008 has been a roller coaster of emotions from good to bad.
So much has happened over the course of this year that I did not imagine would.

January: I found out I was going to be an aunt.
February: I started a new job.
March: Watched grown men fight in the middle of the street like they were on UFC. Oh, did I mention they were drunk?
April: I don't think anything really exciting happened then. I'll have to get back with you.
May: Got serious about starting college.
June: My 21st birthday, Stated college, and had a blast with summer cook-outs, my cousin got married.
July: Fireworks, a good friend was killed in a motorcyle accident.
August: A friend was killed in a drinking and driving accident, Mike's cousin moved in and then a few weeks later, Mikes mom passed away.
September: We moved into a house, I got a cat, and I became an aunt, my grandma was in the hospital for a long stay.
October: 3 year anniversary with Mike.
November: 7 years since my grandpa had passed.
December: Took the civil service test to be a corrections officer, got a dog, mike's cousins girlfriend moved in, mike's cousin and girlfriend moved out, fought with his girlfriend like a high schooler and drama began. 4 years since my grandma passed.

As usual there was a drama, there were tears, there was happiness, babies were born, and wedding vows were exchanged.

It wasn't a terrible year. Probably one of the better years.

Hopefully the rest of you enjoyed your year, and if you didn't hopefully you will make next year worth while.

:: 2008 28 December :: 7.08pm

I got a new DVD burner for christmas, that I have gotten a lot of use out of the last few days.
I got a really soft fleece blanket, that I use every night now, and my cat also enjoys it.
And lastly, I got a new Nikon coolpix L18 camera.
I was not expecting that either.

I spent Christmas day arguing with a dumb high schooler.

I still have Christmas with my mom, my dad and my aunt and uncle next weekend..
Should be fun!

Work tomorrow.. not excited for it..

box	:: 2008 27 December :: 11.34am So I've really let things go down the shitter in my life. I cant believe I let it get this far.. Well I guess its time to start digging my way out. 1 No way... \| Tell me...

:: 2008 24 December :: 11.16am

This is Mike's puppy: Tank

This is my kitty: Titty

So yesterday started off to be a bad day.
Dog got into the trash, and made messes on the floor.
But I got 75 dollars from work!
And then I waited around at my dads with my brother for my check..
Oh, and then I got stuck in the snow trying to turn around to go get my check.
So I waited for my daddy and my brother to come get me unstuck.
Quite the eventful day.

Now it is christmas eve, and I have to wrap presents, bake brownies for my dad and brother for getting me unstuck yesterday.. and then make my way to belding, and then to go up to black lake to have christmas with mike's daughter and whatnot..

Yay!

:: 2008 21 December :: 10.24am

This snow shit, can go away at any time.
Oh, and Im getting a doggie..

8 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2008 17 December :: 5.52pm
:: Music: Sorry - Buckcherry

Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die

I have watched him suffer through the death of a friend..
And exactly a month later, for the course of about a month I watched him suffer the pain of watching his mother suffer until she passed away.
I have seen him at his weakest moments, and his strongest moments and the moments in between when he was lost in his own body.
I have helped him mend the pieces of a broken heart that I caused.
I have fought with him over serious things, and stupid things.
I've seen the fury in his eyes and the anger eat at him like a bacteria.
I've felt the distance grow and then be wiped away.
I've felt the butterflies day after day after day for over three years.
He's helped me through my roughest moments.
Wiped away a million undeserved tears.
Helped me mourn the loss of two friends.
Brought me chocolate shakes when I'm sick.
Let me get a cat even though he's allergic.
Let me keep the cat even though she's had an accident or two in the chair.
Let me fall asleep in his arms and wake up in his arms.
Our love is thicker than molasses.

I could go on and on describing our relationship, and its imperfections but it would take me days, and I would end up over analyzing everything to the point where I was stir-crazy, so I won't.

Christmas makes me cherish the ones I love. Makes me think about what I have, what I've lost, and what I could have.

This time of year makes me emotional.
November 21st this year was 7 years since my grandpa passed away.
December 23rd this year will be 4 years since my grandma passed away.

8 No way... | Tell me...