Kandy

:: 2006 2 November :: 7.01am

What is the ultimate torture for someone who writes all the time and is good at it?
Getting graded down on your writing.

I got a paper back that I wrote awhile ago for my Bio Lab. I got 18.5 out of 25. And I got marked down for grammar and flow. GRAMMAR AND FLOW. How do I get a B+ in my capstone which is all about your ability to write, and can't manage it in a stupid Bio class. To make matters worse, the kid in my group who always shows up late, never does any work and mooches off of me and the other guy got a 21.5 out of 25. Are you kidding me?!
Now I'm glad I didn't do well on my lab report. I totally bombed it and I know it. It's okay. I just hope it's worth her time to give it the grade it deserves. However, no matter what grade I get I'm still going to pass the class. I did the math. I don't like her. I gave her a horrible evaluation at the end of the semester. I mean, she didn't even know what we were doing in that class. She never got the instructions right and got lazier and lazier throughout the semester. This is one of the true professors I really dislike.

joslyn_julia

:: 2006 27 November :: 12.12am

and so it is....

i <3 m.w. i don't know if that heart is plutonic or not. but i enjoy the daily (sometimes 3x daily) phone calls, and the plans for winter break, and knowing i have a date to my cousins wedding. and knowing that i will have someone to wrap their arms around me!!!!!!

i love knowing that i only have 2 weeks until fall semester is done, and 3 until zales is not prioritzing my life. and i love feeling loved, by all my friends and people i have been meeting.

i don't miss michigan, but i do miss some people there. and i wish i could stop caring about people that don't want me in their lives, but i can't. and i can't talk to them, but i do care. that's just who i am.

3 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2006 26 November :: 7.10pm

So apparently i missed an awesome party.
Instead I was playing the role of the evil step mother.
Except I'm too cute to be evil..

4 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2006 23 November :: 8.20am

Leave some memories that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don't send a message, leave a comment on here. Next, re-post this in your notes and see how many people leave a memory about you

7 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2006 21 November :: 2.15pm

Well, I got my paper today and they scheduled my surgery for december freaking 18th. The day before my 20th Birthday. Hell no. ANNNDDD it's at carson city and they want to do it COLD KNIFE. HELL NO. Okay that is the oldest way of doing it and has the worst percentages of infertility and incompetent cervix. No Thank you. I am totally crying on the inside right now. Well.. almost on the outside. I'm holding it in. So... I think I'm getting a second opinion and with a doctor that is affiliated with spectrum health. Where they have actual freaking technology. Oh and you know who keeps fricking talking to jared. When.. they reason why we decided thursday to sunday pick her up at five.. is so we didn't have to talk to her. But yet she still texts and asks "can you do this, can we do this" blah blah. No.. it's 5 for a reason. It's always going to be 5, so we don't have to talk. WTF... could my life suck anymore?

:: 2006 18 November :: 2.14pm

First of all this is not a pitty entry. I just like to let people know what's going on in my life so here goes..

Well, I have to have surgery. I'm not sure when. Aparently I'm at a high risk for cervical cancer. From what was said by my ob-gyn I have pre-cancerous cells (severe dysplasyia). They called yesturday to schedule the conization (they remove a triangular portion of my lower cervix) and I was too chicken to answer the phone. I really don't want to do this, but I have to. Both of my doctors sugessted it because of the severe dysplaysia. I'll let you know more later. Like when I will have the surgery and all that information. It's also going to mak it difficult to have children. Which is my dream and everytime I think about it I want to cry. I mean I wish I was just stupid and didn't care and just got pregnant anyways. But.. I can't do that. There's too much at risk I guess.. I don't know. I just want to have a family of my own. Not jareds...

:: 2006 13 November :: 2.14pm

Ha.. sorry. It just makes me happy after what I heard from jared. ;) If you know me... you'll find out what I'm talking about. I can't say it on here because it's about you know who. Heh.. anyways. Morgan went potty like a lot this weekend. It was great and she finally got excited and realized what she was doing. That was really good. A breakthrough finally!

Jared has an interview on thursday for dispatch and we are excited about that one. HOpefully he gets it because he hates what he's doing right now. We really could use the money with our house payments being over 1300 dollars and him only bringin home a little over 1600.. we're screwedskis. I need a job.

Anyways, I find out by this wednesday if Jared and I can start a family. If they say no.. too bad it's the only thing that will make our life complete. It's what I've always wanted and Jared wants it to.

:: 2006 29 October :: 2.13pm

Morgan
Well.. this weekend was interesting. I really just wish she'd swallow her pride and admit that she babies her. I mean.. come on. Every single person I talk to agrees. It's making it very hard to advance her. She's smart. Very smart. She can figure things out if you let her. It's just taking the time to do it that we believe is the problem. Either way. After about 4 months of trying she went potty in the toilet twice this weekend. We started using money. She likes to put it in her bank so yeah we "reward" her for using the potty. She ate everything that we gave her. Which we were just as suprised as last week when that happened. She ate lasagna hot dogs in buns chicken and dumplings, regular chicken breast... there's more. But man.. usually it's hard to get her to eat anything that isn't noodles, hot dog or breaded chicken. Anyways... things are getting a little bit better each weekend we have her. Maybe things will get better with the rest of my life huh?

:: 2006 18 October :: 2.12pm

Toddlers Mother
Alright, so saturday was like the worst night that I have had in a long time. And it's all because of one particular person... You know who. Yeah.. She ruined our plans and went to leslees wedding even though she wasn't invited and then wouldn't let morgan get over the fact that she was there and we wanted her to sit with us so she ended up sitting by me with morgan on her lap. Yay :| Anyways once we finally got morgan away from her she kept making matters worse by coming up and talking to morgan. She ruined our plans to begin with and then made them worse by making morgan throw the worst temper tantrum I had ever seen her through but... supposidly she was fine. She acted just fine. Yeaah... right. I'm done with it. If she want's to ruin our time with morgan then I guess she can succeed. She did it saturday. So congratualations. Oh yeah.. Her boyfriend also had the nerve to yell at me for what Jared said.That would be the second time. So.. hmm.. grow a pair and tell him yourself.

:: 2006 8 October :: 2.11pm

Well, I moved. So.. you probably won't see me online anymore. We can't afford it. The house payment is around 1491 now. WInter taxes are due in two months and we'll have to pay for the propane to be filled (minus 100). Yay. :| maybe we're in too deep.

:: 2006 20 November :: 5.58pm

Im only miserable when I'm away from him.
The misery eats away at me as I sit and wonder what he's doing, what he's thinking.
And when we're together, I'm constantly questioning everything that he's thinking, and whether or not he truly wants to be with me.

Wednesday at 5 we are meeting with the guy that we are going to be getting the new place from.
I told the landlord last week we'd be out by DECEMBER 1st.
Won't be able to move in until the first of the year.
So I have to go talk to the landlord and try to extend that.
Otherwise we're screwed.

When we move we might be getting a dog.
Mike said it'd be our home warming present.
A plant would be our best bet.
But a dog would be nice.

Even though I love him entirely and he makes me happy, shouldn't I be happy even when we're apart?
I hate being away from him.
I love the way his scent lingers.
I love the way I can still feel his arms around me, even after he's not there.
And I love the way he looks at me.
Sadly, I still question whether he means it.

I'm constantly contradicting myself.
Questioning every thought, even every movement.
And just when I think that our relationship is coming to an end and I've braced myself for the moment, everything turns around.

The self-esteem I lack is well needed at this point.
The confidence I've never had, is desired.
I hate how I'm so insecure.
Will I ever lose this feeling that he wants/deserves better, prettier, smarter?

:: 2006 18 November :: 5.30pm

All I have to say is big trucks and shooting guns excite me.

I got to shoot a gun for the first time today. I shot 3 of them actually.
I am going to start hunting next year.

chelthesmell

:: 2006 16 November :: 2.53pm

DO IT!!!
Leave some memories that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don't send a message, leave a comment on here. Next, re-post this in your notes and see how many people leave a memory about you

6 No way... | Tell me...

Eddy	:: 2006 13 November :: 5.34am "It smells like gunpowder, throw-up, poo-poo eggs" 3 No way... \| Tell me...

:: 2006 7 November :: 9.36am

I'm enjoying facebook right now. I like how they tell you what your relationship is to someone, like they are the ultimate authority.

This is what is says about my relationship to Mica: Mica is your significant other. You hooked up and are dating.

This is what is says about my relationship with Michelle: Michelle is your friend and relative.

Facebook is like a soothing voice. A corrective mother telling you what your relationship with everyone else in the world is. It could come in very handy if I ever get amnesia.

8 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2006 6 November :: 5.39pm

Is a rose, if by any other name, still not lovely?

Is a crutch, if by any other name, still not aiding and abetting in the coping with or enjoyment of life?

It's spilled from one journal to the next, it might as well be my turn to host the discussion for awhile.

I think I know what Rube's is getting at. I say crutch, you think bad. I say tool the facilitates walking (as in the literal definition of crutch), you say good. In this way, I say crutch+drugs as a way to cope with life, you say no. I say tool+plant, you say a way to feel happy or get enjoyment out of life.

That brings it back to the whole debate. If you are using a drug to get enjoyment, or to "feel good" then are you not using the drug in such a way that it could be considered a crutch (def. a tool which is used to do something that was previously unable to be accomplished considering the circumstances). Why would you need a drug to make you "feel good" if you could not otherwise "feel good" without the drug?

:: 2006 6 November :: 3.09pm

I think that there is a point in every relationship were atleast one of you starts feeling not good enough or like there is always someone better for the other person.
Frankly, I just got over that feeling.
I have finally realized that if there was someone better or someone else he wished to be with, he'd be with them instead of me.
Everytime I look at him, I fall even more in love with him.
We've been talking a lot more lately.
Working on talking about things before we get frustrated.
And getting things out there in the open.
It seems to be working, because we are both extremely happy.
We've been together for a year and one week.
Even though I have hit some low points over the past year, I'd have to say I've been the happiest I've ever felt.
I love him more than words can explain and I won't let anything or anyone come in between that.

Saturday night when we were bowling, we sat a little ways away from each other, and we just kept looking at each other and smiling and starring into each others eyes.
And when we got home everything was perfect.
I loved every moment of it, and I was quite surprised.
I am really glad that things are working out.
And most importantly, I am really happy that we're together.
We are getting out of our financial slump and talking more about that.
We plan on being out of here by December 1st.
He's supposed to call a guy back on some more details about a place we looked at last Wednesday.
I'm getting really excited.

:: 2006 3 November :: 12.47am

God I'm a nerd.

http://www.lizardpoint.com/fun/geoquiz/
US Geography: 150 of 150
Africa: 141 of 162
Asia: 84 of 87
Australia: 22 of 24
Canada: 35 of 39
Caribbean: 42 of 66
Central America: 41 of 42
China: 40 of 93
Europe: 107 of 111 (damn former states of Yugoslavia)
Mexico: 29 of 96
Middle East: 85 of 87
Oceania: 57 of 96
South America: 39 of 39
World: 33 of 33

joslyn_julia

:: 2006 2 November :: 1.23pm

fuck.

7 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2006 31 October :: 4.09pm

So right now on our one year anniversary, we're not talking.
All because he doesn't believe me that he took me a on a date 1 year ago today.
He's siding with Paula, the mother of his child who was married when they had their thing.
Wonderful. Just wonderful.

3 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2006 30 October :: 6.59am
:: Music: Over my head - The Fray

Last night Mike and I went a date.
He took me out to dinner and then we went to wal-mart to get a bunch of stuff that I needed, and he paid! haha
And then we went bowling.
Where I beat him 1 game.
So now I can make fun of him and say he was beat by a girl.
Poor loser!
It was a lot of fun.
We bowled like 4 games.
We're thinking of making it a weekend ritual.
So maybe we can get more people to go with us each weekend.
It was so much fun last night.
And now he's at work.
I hate it when he works the weekend because then im stuck alone.
But this time I have the car, because I need to do laundry and i'm not sure if Im going to do it here or take it to one of my parents houses.
Anyway, all I know is that my apartment is so freakin' hot!!