(So Many Assume) <marquee>...So Little Know...</marquee>

:: 2005 31 July :: 8.51pm

Your fucking dumb and if you thought that I wasn't going to find out, your wrong because guess what?

I heard.

1 Chance | Words Of Hope?

whispers

:: 2005 31 July :: 1.48pm
:: Music: nelly - fly away

i'm ready to fly away
you ever have second thoughts about things? like maybe it is your fault you don't talk to someone anymore, or maybe it's your fault somebody doesnt want you in their life anymore? i did. it was.. a few nights ago, thinkin about goin to talk to jill's mom again. i'm not gonna do that anymore, unless i happen to be walking down the street and there she is, bloop, in the driveway. but anyway, i was thinkin about goin over to jill's to talk to.. her. jill. and last night, when i was with liz, i realized i really don't want to. we went and saw someone working, and somebody else was there and he mentioned her and said a buncha stuff. and its like great, so jill let herself go real nice. getting drunk with her pathetic boyfriend, probably will be pregnant by next year. good job jill. nah, i can't be around someone that's like that. i do it enough with other people. i'm glad she's gone. i'm glad everything that kept a smile on my face is burning me inside now. it makes it that much easier for me to pay the cash i have to so i can go to florida for 4 weeks, then atlanta for 2. once that's done, i have an actual job. i can't wait. and if none of that even happens, which probably won't, because my life is a steaming pile of shit, then i'm going into my second choice in the summer of next year.

growing up is actually really fun if you change the way you look at things.

heh.. driving home from grand rapids last night, i saw hans. that's funny. he was yellin at me from a truck window lol. it made me laugh and think and enjoy being in this area. anyway, i'm done.

ADDiTiON @ 3:50pm
so, if you are a dane cook fan, then i have a proposition for you. i dunno if that's the right word to use, but anyway. august 27th dane cook is having a concert in detriot. my question for you is do you want to go see him? answer me that if you do. tickets are $42.50 i believe. for shipping, handling, and.. that extra shit that nobody really knows what it goes to. let me know.

:: 2005 30 July :: 11.38pm

Ahh my little brother is annoying me but finally he stopped talking to me because he found out I got my iPod so now he is sitting on my bed listening to it and he thinks it's the coolest thing ever. Well it's cool but not the coolest thing ever.

Today was actually really fun. I had to wake up at like 8:30 and last night I didn't get home until like 2:30am but anyways thats besides the point. I went up north and we went tubing and we stayed on the sandbar most of the time. It was really fun because theres like 20 other boats on the sandbar and we know most of them so we went with them and everyone was drinking like always. My friend Casey has this tube that is huge so my cousin Haileigh and I decided we wanted to go tubing together on the same tube so we went and my uncle was driving and his girlfriend was spotting us to make sure we didn't fall off and this tube could fit like 3 people inside of it and so anyways we couldn't get comfortable when we were tubing cuz the handles were really screwed up so we both were like just hanging on barely and we never fell off and then we hit this huge bump from another boat and it sucked us all the way into the tube and you couldn't even see anything but our arms and it hurt so bad we were screaming so loud because we couldn't breathe and it kept sucking us under it since it was so huge and we tried telling my uncles girlfriend to stop the boat with our hands but she thought we were waving so she supposably was waving (we dont know because we couldn't see) and finally after like 3 minutes of still tubing like that they figured something was wrong and they stopped but it was so scary because we couldn't get up and my uncle said all he seen was our little hands waving and then we went tubing again later that day and my leg got stuck under there and I thought I almost broke it lol. I have such bad luck but it was really fun and then we were listening to my friend Jordans iPod and the song Dont Cha came on and we made up this dance to it so everyone made us do the dance for them and like 20 people were watching us. Casey wants me to go back up there tomorrow so after I go to this party I probably will. I was going to stay the night with him because hes camping somewhere by where we went but I couldn't because I already had plans for tomorrow but they go camping almost everyweekend so I'm probably just going to go up there next weekend and stay with him.

(Cheryl I don't know how many periods are in that paragraph but it wasn't many lol. I was telling a story so it doesn't count!)

I wish you would just see that I don't like you. I never have and I never will so why are you still trying to get me to like you? It wont happen and after everything I've seen, heard, been through it makes me want to hate you and I know when I say hate everyone freaks out since it's such a "strong" word but im really trying not to hate you. You need to get your own life and get your own dreams so you can stop living through mine. Just do me a favor and stop being nice to me and then saying how your jealous of me and how im spoiled the next minute behind my back to all these people who don't like you in the first place. People like you and people like me don't get along. Were from two differen't worlds and please stop wasting my time. I don't care.

I just needed to say that. Brianna we need to talk. It's important. It's about that one person who we don't like and who we used to call robutusin *sp*. You know who it is.

I was thinking about what I wanted the other day and I realized that I wanted everything to stay the same but feelings fade and people change. Thats really all im going to say about that right now.

Do you ever wonder what your life looks like through someone elses eyes?

2 Chances | Words Of Hope?

Paradox

:: 2005 30 July :: 11.44pm

My shoulder is a re-occuring pain, and it's one of the most annoying things in the entire world. Seriously... Hopefully it'll be better soon, my first ACTUAL day at Logan's is tomorrow at 3. Everyone should come see me. Maybe you can be one of the lucky people who I serve! WHOOP!

For anyone who may be interested. On saturday nights at about 6pm we're hosting a Dodgeball league for anyone and everyone. Cost is 5 bucks, teams of 5-7 people. It's alot of fun.

It's insane, thinking about the past 9 months, and just being left in awe of how fast they come and go. But loving how the feelings stay right where they are. I love that...

-K. Loye

:: 2005 30 July :: 2.58pm

I feel lower than the lowest person on earth. I apologize for being the way I am. Im sorry. I mess up alot of things. My deepest apologies.

Sincerely.

Just_peachie

:: 2005 29 July :: 6.59pm

Wow...It's been pretty long since I last wrote in this...so much has happened.

Love has come and gone, new friends have been made and old friendships rekindled. I've been kicked out of my house and now live at Brianna's and my grandma's. College plans have been flipped upside down, and turned around. I'm not quite sure if I'm still going to Ferris. My dad won't cosign and I'm 11,000 short for this years tuition and board. Looks like I'll end up going to CC in the spring. *thumbs down. Kevin leaves for basic on August 10th. :( Joey moves to Jenison. Josh, oh who knows what the hell he's up to.

It's been an awesome summer so far. I mean better than anyone could imagine. And the best part is, it just happened. We've all been so spontaneous and carefree, it's so-whats the word-real. Yeah real. It's been so much fun, and it hurts to know that it's coming to an end. I will never ever forget this summer. To the main gang: Brianna Kevin, Lee, Joshua, Joey, Jordan, Chris, Chad. We've made so many awesome memories. I'll never forget my 18th b-day at the cabin. We've had so many awesome times up there! The beach days were a blast, too. I'll never forget the huge waves and the awesome sunsets. To my newer friends: Andy, Danny, Brandon, Jimmy, Randy, Rachel, Kelli, Stuart: I've had so much fun getting to know you all, and the parties were awesome. Hopefully we can keep in contact for the many years to come.
To all: We've truely lived our lives to the fullest this summer. We've lived, laughed, loved, and partied hearty! We really did wild out. I love all of you and will be forever greatful for all the times we've shared, and look forward to making new memories as the time comes and goes.

love u all

Amy

3 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 29 July :: 3.28pm

HASH(0x8d13420)
The Princess - Marissa

Which O.C. teen character stereotype are you?
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Suprise Suprise.
Regina
Regina George

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65% Los Angeles

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55% Portland

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50% San Francisco

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Toxic by Britney Spears

"It's getting late
To give you up
I took a sip
From my devil cup
Slowly
It's taking over me "

Ah, what's a year without breaking a few hearts? Literally.

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

You are Marissa Cooper! You are a complete and
utter mess girl. Get yourself a therapist!

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haha

You are Mischa Barton! You're gorgeous both inside
and outside and you're electric personality
always causes people to look at you twice.
You've established your talents and you're
admired and envyed more than you might think.

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:: 2005 29 July :: 12.35pm

Pictures.

Read more..

whispers

:: 2005 29 July :: 2.19am
:: Music: the ataris - radio #2

playin the same songs over & over again
i saw something downstairs.. from a few years ago.
made me think about what i cherish in life.. ya know, what makes me "tick" as people like to ask.

what makes you tick?

nothing.
being empty inside is something that you get used to though..

i think..

if not.. then oh well.
i'll manage to pull something off.

sunday i have an interview with somebody from daytona. he's driving up here. so we'll see what he has to say. i'm not saying for what yet, or why even. some people know, most people that read this don't. probably because..

it's none of your business.

:: 2005 29 July :: 12.08am

Yet another great day.

I wake up this morning to None other than Dan kissing me. I'll admit its kinda creepy. Im suprised my first instinct wasnt slugging him in the face because like I just said, its creepy. But from what I'm told i puckered right up and kissed back. It was the gesture that counted. It was very sweet. To wake up in the morning and just have the one you love right there next to you. It was an over-whelming experience.

Then we get my happy butt outta bed and Kevin, Jordan, and Pavlak are waking Amy up. Kevin made waffles and they were delicious. Ever Notice how food tends to taste better when somebody else cooks it for you? Ooh the advantages of not being able to cook!!! After "brunch", Jordan and Joey and I went Kiaking....(SP)??? We were all waiting to see who the first one would tip and OF COURSE it would have been me ... why wouldn't it be me?? After that I showered while Amy went on a date. Dan came over for a bit the the whole amy situation... too much to discuss but anyways - Dan left for like 10 mins and came back with a beautiful, long stemmed rose. It was just amazing. " I have the sweetest boyfriend". No i really do. He's amazing. Wouldn't trade him for the world!!

Then we went to Meijer and seen Psycho #2. That was interesting to say the least. We tried on sunglasses and Dan drove the cool car. It over all was a good day...

Yeah.... its pretty good.

Im incredibly blessed. Friends, Family, Dan. Its all....great.

Night.

3 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 28 July :: 8.48pm
:: Mood: Stressed
:: Music: Rhianna-Pon De Replay

I'm really annoyed right now. I shouldn't be but I am. People talking to me is just annoying me and thats pretty sad but I'm in a bad mood.

Anyways I got my iPod today. It's pink and it's so little. I love it except I'm really confused on how to upload songs on it and I hate reading directions so I'm skipping that part but my uncle has an iPod so tomorrow hes going to help me. I'm really impatient, I've found that out today.

The other day we went to The Soaring Eagle Casino and Resort and obviously we didn't gamble because my cousin and I can't but we stayed there in the resort and it was so much fun and they have so much stuff to do and next time we go there I'm getting a massage but anyways I was playing this basketball game with this guy who was probably 17 and all you had to do was make the basketball in the basket so many times more than the other person and you would win and the basketball hoop would move back and fourth and anyways I won and I was playing aganist a guy and all these people were watching us and then the guy was like "it's pretty sad that I lost aganist a girl" but I thought it was funny and then in our hotel these two guys kept following me and it was really annoying. They followed me for like 30 minutes. Do I look like I liked to be stalked?? Then finally they decided to come up to me and talk to me but it was really annoying at first but anyways were going back up there in a couple of weeks to stay there again.

seth: Dude, what do we do?? I don't want to get thrown out of the hotel. I love the hotel. I want to marry the hotel and have little alcholic, gambling-addicted kids with it. Is that wrong?? -- the oc

On Monday-Wednesday I'm pretty sure I'm going to Cedar Point. Ha that should be fun.

I was gone all this week up until today and somehow I forgot to bring my phone charger with me so my phone was dead all week and it really sucked.

Im so random but today I got all my composite cards for my modeling place and so now I can send them out to modeling agencies and they gave me a a list of other agencies to send my comp. cards to and that was really awesome. I got a certificate that says "This is to certify that Ashley Sonego has satisfactorily completed the course of training in Professional Modeling blah blah blah" It's just so weird but I'm really excited and I hope that someday soon I can just get out of Michigan. I'm never going to live here again. I hate it. It's a waste of time. I'm going to live in California whether anyone wants me to or not. I'm finally on my own. Don't try to tell me no. Theres so much more for me. Just watch what I'll be. I'm not just going to sit and waste my life doing nothing with it. I want to be somebody. I'm going to be somebody.

5 Chances | Words Of Hope?

jennapie

:: 2005 28 July :: 6.53pm

I have come to the conclusion that talk is the cheapest thing that I have ever tried to believe in. If I would have realized earlier that I can't believe anything anyone tells me, I would have stopped listening years ago. But as it is...I've realized it now, and I can stop wasting my time listening to people like you.

9 Chances | Words Of Hope?

kellilynn21

:: 2005 28 July :: 12.27am

Fuck This...

& Fuck You.

2 Chances | Words Of Hope?

paradox

:: 2005 27 July :: 4.42pm

Blues tonight, my shoulder hurts... I gotta physical therapy... But logans is fun. it's work.. but it's fun. Blues tonight. Here's my latest poem. Erika, you inspire me. Man it's been a while since I started writing.

Here's To You.

I write you almost every day,
Sometimes without even knowing.
But, you don�t know me.
I study your every move for hours,
I know you inside and out,
Or at least I think I do.
Although you don�t really have a certain emotion,
I look at each possible aspect to try and understand you.
People pawn off their problems and grievances,
And you have no choice but to take it.
A poet�s choice of words in poetic form
Only highlights his ability
With no acknowledgement, like you were strangers.
Fame and fortune
Torture those who speak of your words.
Emotions are trapped within your cell of confusion,
Grasping life, and the opportunity
To fully feel poetry in motion.
When I need to vent, I come to you.
No matter the subject
I talk about my darkest secrets
Even the ones I�m afraid
To tell everyone else.
It�s tough knowing you my whole life,
And all it�s struggle,
But reassuring to know
That you never pass judgment.
I thank you for that.
Your helping me become a def poet
And I owe you the world.
I�ll never be able to give you anything
But my heart and all the emotion in it.
You help define me as a person.
And I want to thank you for helping me
Through every time in my life
And actually caring about it.

So poetry, here�s to you.

:: 2005 27 July :: 11.34am

Im at amys grandmas for the next week and a half. We are "housesitting". The only reason we are here is to feed the cat but hey... its a good time!

I thought yeserDAY was perfect. But last night... amazing. He never stops amazing me. *sigh*... practicly perfect in every way. :) Its like yesterday he was breathing to make me happy. He really makes me feel like im... the most important thing in his world at that exact moment. He is a great singer ;)... i'll just leave everything at that.

So i've got my 4th letter from steve as of yesterday. Hes doing alright just so everybody knows. Im writing him back in a couple of days if anyone wants me to say hi to him for ya just let me know.

BRIANNA

6 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 26 July :: 6.03pm

Hey y'all. Its been a while. Some parts were rather rough because somebody cant keep their nose out of mine and dans relationship but we worked through everything just like we always do. We fight, maybe more then usual but thats because we love each other. Our arguements are usually about decisions we make that could be wrong. We do it because we care. Since we had our "talk" everything has been...bliss. Perfect. Everything is starting to fall into place now. Just today :

" I'll love you until the day that i die" and he had this look in his eye like, wow your amazing. It was the kinda look that just made me go weak in the knees and my stomach felt as if there were hundreds of butterflies swarming around in there. Just to top it off, the last 3 days were...unbelievable. Hes ...everything and more than i could ever imagine and the best part of all is hes all mine. No more being influenced by other dumb people who have no lives who want nothing more but to screw with other people who are perfectly happy. Thats what really bugs me. I thought we were close!!!! but once again ive been proven wrong. I knew i shouldnt have trusted you...but you seemed so nice and i realize it is now because you wanted to get closer to him that me. Not even the point. the point is... I love him and he loves me and... we are very happy! And we are NOT sacraficing anything!!!

Buh bye

:: 2005 26 July :: 5.44pm

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 25 July :: 10.13pm

im on keegans laptop... hes in the shower... oh the damage i could do right now... mwah ha ha.

today we had our red flannel pictures done at aspen... its so sad because it makes the end seem so final. the truth is, it'll never end. the memories, and friendship, and sisterhood will never fully go away. and i'll always look back at this past year and be in awe of the amazing experience the 5 of us had.

i've been gathering all my senior picture clothes. greg.... one of the photographers told me to bring my whole closet... i told him he shouldnt have said that! i hope they turn out good... if any of you still need to get your pictures done, or know anybody who's looking to get professional pics done like wedding, family, whatever... let me know so i can get them some discouts at studio 630.

"yesterday wasnt good"
hmph speak for yourself.

anyways.... off i go... keegans back.

stacy i love you. i stopped in to see you.. and ended up talking to your parents for like 10 minutes... i've missed them. and your house. and your wonderful drawer. and the spray butter on the pop corn. and those goofy little hampster things. and the dead bunny. and sleeping out on your tent until it started raining. and porch communicating. and craving arbys late at night at wonderfully having a way to get it. and sitting around your house all day waiting for SOMEONE to bring us to the mall. but most of all... i just miss you. and the long talks we always seem to have. DB4L... i am ALWAYS here whenever you need me ok? you have my number and i have a wonderful ringtone for you on my cell phone. i wanna HEAR it damn it! lets get together soon. with or without the boys.... lets just get together!

ok... hamburgers are calling my name... keegan made them for me with one arm.. poor doll.

night.

:: 2005 25 July :: 1.42pm

I'm going to try to make this quick since I have to get going but NY was really awesome and so was Canada. We went shopping in both places and stayed in really pretty hotels and we went to Niagara Falls (obviously) and we went out to eat alot and the rest of the time I was there we went and did alot ot tourist type stuff and then I came back to my cousins house and they live in Lake Orion which is by Detroit and my uncle has a boat and a paddle boat so we went swimming alot and their neighbor used to be a professional soccer player so we played soccer with him but now hes a doctor and one day my cousins and I were laying out on the boat and there were a bunch of people in the doctors backyard and we went and asked him who they were and he said they were people from the hospital that were poor so he let them come over and swim and go fishing which was one of the nicest and sweetest things someones ever done for someone else. Those people probably thought we were just a bunch of spoiled rich kids but I was really happy that he would do that for them and we went fishing on the lake too but I never caught anything because I suck at fishing so I just stopped and I talked on my cell phone and my cousin kept asking to talk to my friends and they all talked to her and at the end shes like "I made 4 new friends" it was really cute. I can't really remember what else we did but it was an amazing trip.

I'm going to go lay out in my pool and then I have to go unpack from NY and pack again since I'm going to go up north for a few days and then I'm going back to Detroit for modeling and to see the rest of my family. I think I'll be back on thursday. I sort of feel bad for my mom and dad because I rarely am home in the summer and when I am all I do is unpack and repack for something and the truth is they don't see me that much unless they are taking me to an airport or something but it really is sort of sad but once school starts hopefully things will calm down and by then I can hang out with my friends from school because I don't even have time for anyone right now, thats sad to say but I really don't. It's not my fault that I have modeling stuff and that im so busy but one thing I can say is who doesn't like going on vacations to NY and CA?

But anyways I will update when I get home.

& when you start to miss me, remember you let me go

2 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 24 July :: 10.00pm

I am so confused. I want to tell you but sometimes I think I just can't and that I should forget about the whole thing. I don't know why it's so hard for me to say it but it is and I probably will just end up never telling you and then regreting it later but thats what I always do and it never changes but I really don't make sense and I need to get ready and go home to my moms house so I guess I will update about NY tomorrow.

jennapie

:: 2005 23 July :: 7.25pm
:: Mood: gloomy

why is it that I'm so freakin busy during the week, but then on weekends, I have absolutley no plans? Once again, I'm home alone on Saturday night. I'm a loser, even my parents are gone.

I guess I could go pack for Cinci for tomorrow.....yes it's time again!

Paradox

:: 2005 22 July :: 5.48pm

I dislocated my shoulder today. it sucks it hurts. stupid breakin.....

BUT I LOVE IT

-K. Loye

:: 2005 22 July :: 11.28am

Were in NY right now! Yesterday we went to Niagara Falls and and it was so amazing. On one side of Niagara Falls is NY and the other side is Canada. I loved it and we went under the falls on the Maid of the Mist which was so cool and I got soaking wet and we also went shopping in Canada too and so now I have all this canadian money which sucks but we are going back to NY and going shopping again. There are so many cute guys here

Oh yeah yesterday we were in this rich hotel in NY and we were sleeping and it was like 8:00AM and in our hotel we have these two big windows and we had the curtains open and we heard something banging so I woke up but I didn't know what it was and then my cousin Rachel woke up and we ignored the noise and started talking and then she goes "OMG look" and we looked out the window and we just see someones feet hanging right next to our window and we started laughing hysterically and then the whole guy came down and he was cleaning our windows and he was sitting on this little wooden thing and our hotel was on the 18th floor! It was soo funny though just cuz we woke up and seen someones feet hanging on the 18th floor in NY out our window! But anyways were really busy and im on the laptop so I have to go! Lots of Love!

~Ashley

P.S. I miss you too Kelli!