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:: 2006 23 March :: 10.40pm

ugh, honestly, how can people judge you when they don't even know you? It drives me crazy, I know I gossip and everyone else knows that they do too, but honestly! what the heck!! Is there really a point? It not only makes us look bad by showing how immature we really are, only focusing on what we see on the outside of people, but just think about some of the things that we say, and think if those things got back to the person you were talking about?! How bad would you feel? Unless you're heartless and you wouldn't feel bad, then whatever, you wouldn't care, but for all of those people who arn't Satan, wouldn't you feel terrible!? Especially if later you found out what an amazing person that you just put down was, or found something out about them that made you suddenly know why they are the way that they are, and what if it isn't their fault! Seriously! I feel like such crap right now, because someone judged me when they didn't know me, and honestly, it isn't a good feeling, I actually feel very bad and ashamed of myself. and I SHOULDN'T feel that way! But I do, and I don't even know this person and they don't know me, but anyway, I feel like a big let down and an embarassment. Well whatever, I guess I'll have to work on that, cuz I do feel bad and I want to change, so starting now, I'm done. AND, just like swearing, I'm not talking bad about people either, I'll keep my thoughts to myself, or block out the bad thoughts entirely, I can do it, just watch me!

ugh, oh my goodness, why do people have to be so immature! And talk about things that they don't understand! I don't get it! From now on, I'm going to live up to my full potential, and not waste my time doing idiotic things that have no point or meaning in my life what-so-ever! I am through with it all. If it makes me feel this way, someone with a relatively high self esteem, then just imagine what it must do to others. I honestly feel like crap, and kinda like puking. well, I'm going to go wallow in self-pity now. Everyone else, enjoy your night!

ugh again! why am I crying?!?!

2 Replied | Reply

swimfan14

:: 2006 23 March :: 5.35pm

Cant you see?
There's a feeling that's come over me.
Close my eyes.
You're the only one who leaves me completely breathless.
No need to wonder why.
Sometimes a gift like this you can't deny.
I wanted to fly so you gave me your wings and time held it's breath so I could see, yeah you set me free.

When I was alone, you came around.
When I was down, you pulled me through.
There's nothing that I wouldn't do for you.

triple

:: 2006 22 March :: 6.06pm

Jesus Christ

Brianna YOUR being childish, Eminem? Gimme a break
Gold Digger is a way better song for this O.C. Drama

**Puts his hand on his forehead**

Now, I don't very much care for the shit thats been said to and about Brenton these past few days. Brentons the only Family I'll ever have, He's the closest thing to a older brother I'll ever have. I love the motherfucker like a brother, do you understand? No person has ever done so much for me ever, nobody. So it's my job...no...my pleasure to act as his sword and shield.

Now I've been around since this whole mess started. I was there for all the calls. all the carting of asses to who-the-hell-remembers-where. YOU Brie, make Brenton act that way, He doesn't get pissed much, but you cause him to flip out the most. I mean good lord Take a step back and try and remember everything thats happened. YOU'VE been fucking with his head since day one.
Dan durring the day brenton at night, If Dans not avilable You called Brenton. Back and forth wah-wah-wah-wah-wah When you got bored of Dan you knew all you had to do was call Brenton. "If you like me you'll be there" "Your saposed to kiss me now" Who was all cuddled up on Brenton a friday or 2 ago? You where Brie, you where, Remember all that? Who sent you fucking flowers!? not fucking DAN! it was Brenton, WE don't hang out or anything for god knows how long, but when you have no smokes, no money, no gas, Who the fuck do you call? Brenton. How many times did he "Rescue" Your naive little self? See..thre was that time when your mom locked you out and you walked to the gas station and called brenton, he picked you up,and no to mention him carting you around to go see dan at the bowling ally after you lead us on a wild fucking goose chase in GR, or that Time at 1am in the morning when you called in the middle of a thunder storm crying becuase you where to scared to drive home, Remember? I do.

Dans going to break up with you becuase your going to pull this shit one to many times, and it's going to be all your fault,I just wonder how many times before he finally does snap and end it. I wouldn't want to go out with a female that I couldn't trust.

If he never had a chance why the hell did you lead him on? Did you want a slice of that $50,000 he's gunna get? Why Brianna Why? No sane person could do all this to another person and be sound of mind, Where you just going to leech money off of him until you sucked him dry? Nothing pisses me off more then a fucking leech.

for the record, you without your make-up makes me wanta
pu-uu-uu-uu-uu-uu-uke

**Looks away in disgust**

As you can tell I am not a happy camper right now. I'm pretty pissed.

I'm not a asshole? I Think you should reconsider

Like it matters anymore, but Amy if you wanta hang out this weekend, theres gunna be a little shindig at the apartment this friday. if your there, your there, your not then you had something more important to do and thats ok, (I'm not trying to sound like an asshole I'm just a little tired and orny kk? <3 Amy) I dunno just call the home phone if you still wanta hang out after you read all this.

Music Video Codes By HotGet.com
FREE Myspace Profile Spy By WhosOnMySpace.com

23 Replied | Reply

Triple

:: 2006 19 March :: 11.46pm
:: Mood: relaxed

I wrote this just for her ...

But I prefer haiku myself,

Cunt whore please die
Will fuck anything with a dick
Many gross diseases

Free Verse is shouldn't even be considered poety, hell any skank with a peice of paper and a pen can do that.

Just thought I'd get that outta the way.

swimfan14

:: 2006 19 March :: 10.18pm

Well this weekend was pretty good. Friday I hung out with Aaron. Saturday I went to Olive Garden and then Elyse, Stacy, and Aaron came over and we went to the musical only to see Dani. Then Aaron came over afterwards and today I hung out with Dani and Stacy.

Stacy is at my house right now. She's sleeping in our guest bedroom lol.

Ohh and I can't forget my story. On Saturday I was at the gas station with Elyse and we were meeting my dad there because he had to give me something and anyways I threw my gum wrapper out my car window and a cop pulled up behind me and walked to my window and was like "what did you throw out the window?" and I was like "umm a gum wrapper" and he goes "do you know that's illegal, a $500 fine, and you could go to jail" and I was like "no, I didn't know that" and then he made me get out and pick it up and then my dad pulls up and at this time Elyse is laughing hysterically and so am I. I couldn't help it. I thought it was amusing. So then my dad was like "what's going on?" and I'm like "well I threw a wrapper out the window *sarcastically*" and my dad was like "God dammit Ashley I always fucking tell you not to throw shit out the window!" and I'm like "umm no you don't dad, you never tell me that" and the cop was debating on whether or not to give me a ticket and my dad was like "give her a ticket, actually give her two of them" and I didn't care if I got one or not because I wouldn't end up paying for it anyways and I have no idea how this works but the cop said since I'm a minor my dad would have to pay for it which doesn't even make any sense to me and then the cop was like "do you pay for your car" and i'm like "no" and he goes "how about your insurance?" and I was like "no" and then he said "how about gas?" and I was like "no" and then he goes "Do you pay for anything? and I was like "nope" and then I started laughing and he goes "it's not funny!" and then Elyse was like "don't you have better things to do besides harassing us, like...solving crimes?" and the cop just looked at her. I'm suprised he didn't arrest her for saying that or something but I couldn't help but laugh. The cop said since he let someone else off the hook today he guesses he'll let me off too so I didn't get a ticket luckily..oh and then the cop pulls up to get gas afterwards and my dad walks to his truck and he gets out all of the trash he has and he walks to the trash can right by the cop and throws all his stuff away. I was like what the hell...way to suck up to the cop. I don't know why my dad told the cop that he always tells me not to throw stuff out the window because he never tells me that and I barely ever do that to begin with. It all makes me laugh. We went through all that because I threw a gum wrapper out my window. Good god..

6 Replied | Reply

swimfan14

:: 2006 19 March :: 5.44pm

If I knew that you were leaving, I wouldn't have waited so long. I would have left so long ago and if there really still was something left to say to you, you'd realize just what is true. How i've been blamed for everything you do, cause it can't be all my fault, it still takes two to break apart the truth. I learn, I still learn. Every single day.

swimfan14

:: 2006 17 March :: 5.00pm

Today is St. Patricks Day. Do I even know what it is? Not really? I feel like a complete moron right now but I'm not Irish so I don't celebrate it and I know some people do even though they aren't Irish but I don't know what the whole meaning behind it is. I didn't even know it was St. Patricks Day today in the first place and when I got to school and seen everyone wearing green, well let's just say it sorta clicked. Everyone kept pinching me and I was just like fuck off.

I had a pretty embarrassing moment today. Elyse and I were in Seminar and we walked out and we went upstairs so I could turn in something to Mrs. Laidlaw for english and I was carrying my folder with the paper on top which I wrote in pencil and obviously my folder was up against my chest sorta since that's just how us girls carry our stuff and anyways I went to hand her my paper and she was like "what does all this say?" and I'm like "what are you talking about?" and she pointed and then I realized that half of the paper was smeared and I look down and like my whole shirt was covered with...well I don't even know what you call it..pencil smearings haha...it was embarrassing but good thing I had another shirt on under it.

Speaking of english...well I really hate that class. We are reading the dumbest book possiable and our class is almost finished and Kelli and I are still on chapter 3. I can't pay attention and I have no idea what is going on and we have this big test on it and we have to write an essay. School seriously sucks. I'm just going to go to sparknotes and read what happens so I somewhat pass the test.

I guess I'll take this just because everyone else has and it will entertain me for about three minutes.

I've kissed...
01. [x] on the cheek.
02. [x] on the lips.
03. [] on their hands or fingers.
04. [x] in my room.
05. [x] in their room.
06. [x] of the opposite sex.
07. [ ] of the same sex.
08. [x] a little younger than me.
09. [x] a little older than me.
10. [x] with black hair.
11. [X]with curly hair.
12. [X] blonde hair and blue eyes.
13. [ ] with red hair.
14. [x] with straight hair.
15. [ ] shorter than me.
16. [ ] with a lip ring.
17. [x] who i truly love/loved
18. [x] who was drunk.
19. [ ] who was high....
20. [x] in the morning.
21. [x] right after waking up.
22. [x] just before bed.
23. [x] late at night.
24. [X] who i had just met
25. [X ] who I really didn't want to kiss.
26. [x] just talking not dating.
27. [x] on a bed.
28. [ ] in a graveyard.
29. [x] at school.
30. [x] against a wall
31. [ ] at a show.
32. [ ] at the beach.
33. [ ] at a concert.
34. [ ] in a pool.
35. [x] who was/is a good friend.
36. [] in the rain. (I want to though..we'd be like Allie and Noah)
37. [x] with a mole on their body
38. [] in the shower
39. [x] in a car/taxi/bus.
40. [x] in the movies.
41. [] in a bathroom/laundry room
42. [x] in the dark.
43. [ ] on a roof top.
44. [ ] under water
45. [] while driving
46. [X] a stranger
47. [ ] more than one person at once
48. [x] crying
49. [x] goodbye forever (I didn't really think it was goodbye forever but I obviously it was)
50. [x] when i was drunk.
51. [ ] who didn't speak english
52. [ ] in a hot tub
53. [] in an elevator
54. [x] an ex
55. [X] last night.
56. [X] Just today.

Well I guess I should go get ready to go to Aarons tonight. Have a good weekend everyone!

<3 Ashley Megan!!

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.

4 Replied | Reply

jennapie

:: 2006 16 March :: 10.32pm

I've kissed...
01. [x] on the cheek.
02. [x] on the lips.
03. [x] on their hands or fingers.
04. [x] in my room.
05. [x] in their room.
06. [x] of the opposite sex.
07. [ ] of the same sex.
08. [x] a little younger than me.
09. [x] a little older than me.
10. [x] with black hair.
11. [X]with curly hair.
12. [X] blonde hair and blue eyes.
13. [ ] with red hair.
14. [x] with straight hair.
15. [ ] shorter than me.
16. [ ] with a lip ring.
17. [x] who i truly love/loved
18. [x] who was drunk.
19. [ ] who was high....
20. [x] in the morning.
21. [x] right after waking up.
22. [x] just before bed.
23. [x] late at night.
24. [X] who i had just met
25. [ ] who I really didn't want to kiss.
26. [x] just talking not dating.
27. [x] on a bed.
28. [ ] in a graveyard.
29. [x] at school.
30. [x] against a wall
31. [ ] at a show. (what kind of show?)
32. [ ] at the beach.
33. [ ] at a concert. .. well kind of
34. [ ] in a pool.
35. [x] who was/is a good friend.
36. [x] in the rain.
37. [x] with a mole on their body
38. [x] in the shower
39. [x] in a car/taxi/bus.
40. [ ] in the movies.
41. [x] in a bathroom/laundry room
42. [x] in the dark.
43. [ ] on a roof top.
44. [ ] under water
45. [x] while driving
46. [X] a stranger
47. [ ] more than one person at once
48. [x] crying
49. [ ] goodbye forever
50. [ ] when i was drunk.
51. [ ] who didn't speak english
52. [ ] in a hot tub
53. [X] in an elevator
54. [ ] an ex
55. [X] last night.
56. [X] Just today.

1 Replied | Reply

swimfan14

:: 2006 15 March :: 10.49pm

If you see me walking with someone else, it's not because I love him. It's because you're not brave enough to walk beside me now.
If you see me smiling, it's not because I've forgotten you. It's because I'm tired of crying for you.
If you see me living again, it's not because I wanna get back at you. It's because I want to get back what you took from me.
But most of all
If I fall in love with someone else, it's not because I wanted to.
It's because you were never there to catch me and love me back.

This is so difficult for the both of us. I know I tried so hard, there's just no hope right now. Well it's more than a shame that I lost to this game. All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing- -
nothing will ever be the same.

Triple

:: 2006 14 March :: 6.18pm

I'm sure all the men who died in all the WWs', defending America, didn't want America to be Lost to leeches and filthy whores. not to mention, all of them are turning in there graves over That Manson freak.

and Skank, yes you Holly, (filthy whore was also refering to you btw) I only speak of that excuse for a human that you call "James" on woohu, your "Girlfriend" is to easy to make fun of in real life,

so in other words fuck you and your mother.

2 Replied | Reply

swimfan14

:: 2006 13 March :: 9.58pm

Well let's see here. The National College Fair wasn't all that bad. None of my friends even knew what it was. We honestly went just to get out of class and Mr. A told us we'd get free pens which was a lie lol. Not that I don't have enough of those anyways but out of all the colleges I was only interested in two of them which are both in California. Imagine that? I know. I sort of want to go to The Fashion Insitute of Design for fashion design obviously. I don't really know which one I'd go to. They have a school in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Orange County, and San Diego. I've would probably say Los Angeles or Orange County and then the other school is The University of San Francisco. So besides those two schools, the whole thing was a big waste of time but we missed almost the whole day so I guess I can't complain too much. I was talking to the guy that works at The Fashion Institute of Design and that is where LC from Laguna Beach goes. Haha I made sure to ask him that. He said he knows her pretty well. Well, thats nice. I'm not going to go there just because she does because I honestly could care less it's just I thought that was pretty interesting and I don't even know if I'm going to go there in the first place. It's just a small option I have. I still really really want to go to USC. I don't even know yet.
Okay so enough college talk.

I feel like my house is going to blow over any minute. That might be unfourtunate.

I can't let you go. It's who I know.

<3 Ashley

4 Replied | Reply

triple

:: 2006 13 March :: 5.49pm
:: Mood: All Warm and fuzzy inside

I love my job so much....

ok, get this,

My pal at work Jeff Carr, AKA Cuz, Jeff.
(39 years old, Married, 2 kids, Master Ford tech, Doesn't hate pontiacs, all around good guy)

anyways,

He comes into work, walks into the quick lube and says "Thank god your here, I was a little worried," I was like yeah, It's monday, I'm only a tiny bit hung over, no alcohol poisoning yet. he was like no no, There was some accident in grand rapids Saturday night, a BLUE GRAND PRIX was t boned (or somthing like that) not only that, but 2 girls were in the back and male in the front. pass and the driver was a male, all in Critical Condtion.

That kinda creeped me out...blue grand prix, 2 males 2 femals, T-boned..and after that shit on friday on alpine eep....but thats not it

what got me the most was that a dude from work gave 2 shits about me, It made my day, they do care, they view me as one of the guys, Thats so badass, That is why I will a badass mother Master technician for some car company, (*crosses fingers, common Pontiac! errr GM!*)

I dunno, the whole deal made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

It's weird....I almost feel like all these dudes I work with, there like a 2nd set of parents, If I fuck up they are going to be dissapointed,

I don't want that...

*smiles*
heh, one of the guys...awesome

5 Replied | Reply

swimfan14

:: 2006 12 March :: 8.45pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: The Veronicas-4ever

I can honestly say that today I had my doubts about all of this but after that talk I realize I don't have any reason to doubt things and that things are just the way they should be.

Come on baby we ain't gonna live 4ever, let me show you all the things that we can do, I know you wanna be together, and I wanna spend the night with you.

2 Replied | Reply

swimfan14

:: 2006 11 March :: 12.57pm

Lisa and I are procrastinators and we figured since Spring Break is coming up we should probably buy our tickets to Florida so that's what we did today and the total for both of us was $1,000. Yeah, that's what happens when you wait so long. We should have gotten them a long time ago but I always wait until the last minute to do everything. Oh well I guess. $1,000 later and we're off to Florida soon. Thank god. We both need to get out of this horriable place.

swimfan14

:: 2006 10 March :: 11.01pm
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: Motion City Soundtrack-My Favorite Accident

I really hate calls like those. Calls when you can't even understand your friend because they are crying so hard. I don't even know what to say to make her feel better. It's hard for me to imagine being that upset because I haven't been that way in a long time and right now I'm genuinely happy. I feel so useless because some of my friends really need me and yes I am here for them it's just I can't always help them in the ways they need to be helped. It really makes me sad to see her like that because I can honestly say that less than a month ago I was the same way. It's hard. It hurts. I know. I've been there and I'm sure I will be again someday. I never believed that something great would come along and make me forget about all those things that were bringing me down but eventually it does and you just need to learn to let go of the people who cause pain. It's not worth being down. I've learned that the hard way. I have no idea how talking about my friend turned into something like this but I just hope that things start to look up for some people who really need it and they know who they are.

This morning when I pulled into school Bruce was already parked and he waited for me and we walked into school together and he told me that he feels like today was going to be a good day and I just had a feeling it wasn't going to be and sure enough it really wasn't. I was such a bitch to everyone for no reason. I was just so upset that I could've cried. I have no idea why I was upset but it was just one of those days but I think I really just needed to talk to this person and after we talked and everything was better. So I apologize for being that way today.

Mishy: I'm pretty sad because those wonderful sunglasses that you bought for me have been stolen by Aaron. He was wearing them after school and he told me he'd give them back tomorrow. He has like ten things of mine at his house haha.

I guess this is all for tonight. I'm just rambling on.

<3 Ashley

4 Replied | Reply