hola all, well...things have been oh so wonderfully hectic these past few days...lovely *makes a face*


we have orientation tomorrow, i don't wanna go...i've never really been a school person, and i don't wanna be back in that acursed building anytime soon before school starts...but at least i'll see y'all at orientation tomorrow so i can enslave someone to help me carry all the books i'm gonna get...last year i think i pulled a muscle trying to find my locker w/ too many books in my arms.


i'm bored, i don't know what to do today...mayhap i'll walk down to the library and sit there and read a little bit...i've gotta find my library card first tho...i wonder if i should walk down w/ mum, or go alone...mum wouldn't want me to go alone, but i want some time to pace around, er...pace a mile and back, and think about all the things that are mulling around in my head...making me wonder and all that wonderful teen angst-y stuff. lovely...


curiosity killed the cat (or kitty or KT, dont' ask...long story) and satisfaction brought it back. I'm curious who kyle's crush is, but i won't pry...


love y'all...ciao

hola all, well i'm stayin home from the raft/canoe dealy for my dad's work today cuz i don't feel to good. I'm not to the throwing up stage yet tho, but i did feel a lil' queasy this morning before church...and now i'm watching some old xmen cartoon w/ wolverine in his wonderful yellow spandex and some lady w/ realllly long fingers and an interesting accent. Not to mention Gambit, i love that guy...hmmm, and now Cyclops and Jean Grey...ugh, they're holding hands...gottat love the old american style comic animation *makes a face*

so yeah, i'm home alone, mum and dad told me not to use the computer...but they didn't say the internet ...dun dun dun!

went mini golfing w/ Rachel and Ray last night, lost...tho not as high as Rachel amazingly. Dad got sick and spent the rest of the night puking and having cramps and blue lips...he's better today tho, he watched Edward Scissorhands w/ me. I sure as hell hope i don't get sick tho, cuz when i get the throw up sickness i throw up and am sicker than anyone else in the family...it's total hell...

Actually, i've got a head ache right now and don't feel as well as i usually am, i'm hopin i don't throw up cuz then i'll miss a canoe outing and whatnot...

hope y'all are great, i'll call you when you get back Jackie. Love y'all...

wow, i was gone for two days, two frickin' days, and i actually hafta push the "past entries" dealy thing on my friends page...

well, Chicago was ok...i'll pro'ly enlighten y'all later, after i've gotten done w/ spilling my guts aboot me feelings and shit. To put it briefly, i can't stand to feel anybody's touch right now. If you hug me i'll stiffen up, if you touch my shoulder i'll wince, if you brush past me i'll hiss...it's not fun, not wanting to have any physical contact from anyone, down right depressing in fact. And yet i yearn to be held, cuddled w/...my brain is pretty screwy but i didn't know it was that bad...i want to be alone..."just leave me alone" was my slogan during the whole stay in Chicago...like i can be alone in a city *scoffs and laughs at self* i was w/ my family (and Tina) 24/7 during these past few days, kinda like hell in my opinion. Tho i've learned never to be w/ the entire family in a city like NYC or Chicago...they dunno how to act in a city *sighs*...ok, i'm done acting selfish and telling how i feel, or rather...unfeel, so now on to the stay at Chicago!

Day one: we arrive at the hotel, check and shit, then wander out to eat dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. Pretty good restraunt, too bad i'm such a picky eater that only the deserts and drinks looked good to me...i drew on a napkin then gave it to our waiter cuz he was pretty damn good, plus he knew aboot anime and manga ^_^ after that we went to the sports mart for Andy and Tina...fun fun fun -_-

Day two:wake up, pig, then walk to Navy Pier...for some wonderful reason that is unbeknownst to me, i was mad at the world...why, i don't know cuz fred was gone finally *cheers* After that we ate lunch at the Hardrock Cafe...Kelly, i'm so totally takin you there some time!Purchased a t-shirt and listened to Staind and Ozzy whilst waitin fer dad, then we headed off to the Water Tower Place, stopped at some places along the way, and then i went to Borders Books and bought two mangas, Escaflowne #1 and Bride of Deimos #3 ^_^ ate dinner somewhere and bitched at Andy because he was acting very evilly like a bastard and every other curse word there is, went back to the hotel and mum told me to turn off the t.v. after awhile (we were watching Blade, i like i like!) because it was too "violent"...she can't stomach stuff like that...

Day three: we walk to Sears Tower, then pig out on Mickey D's and some pizzaness in a nearby park. Then off to the airport! Watched Tina go as far as we could see so she would be ok, fought back tears (well, i did anyways) and vroomed home after making sure that her plane took off on time. Now i'm back, late at night fer perhaps the last night in the basement, and the first night/time that the damn computer is down here as well...

tomorrow i'll be movin my stuff back up to me room...back to my small, tvless and doorless room...and dammit all, i don't think i'm feeling anything right now...my emotions are gone for the moment, i don't care that i can't feel (for the time being) and hopefully they'll come back after a few minutes...well, i'm gonna go and check megatokyo and pennyarcade...not to mention keep the parental units from finding out that i actually have the computer w/ me right now...peace out, i love y'all...

well, we're leavin today for Chicago...we'll spend a coupla days there then see Tina off on thursday in the chicago airport. I think i'm gonna miss Tina, i'll be sorry to see her go...

w00t!!!!!!!!!!!!!my animerica finally came!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well anywho, i'll miss y'all whilest i'm gone fer a few days ^_^ *waves* love ya!

i don't know why, but i feel...empty...like i don't have any feelings. Tina, Andy, mum, and i were in Galyans today and i just stumbled around after them, my face an expressionless mask. I didn't even care that we just went to Galyans...i just wanted to be alone. I've wanted to be alone lately, i don't know why because i hate being alone...the thought of being without friends or family used to make me shudder, but now...now i long for a time to be alone, which is only at night, so i can think and be by myself. I admit that sometimes i want a companion at night, but then sometimes i just want to sit down and look at the sky and not have the air punctured with quiet conversation.

Andy and Tina are watching "meet the parents" right now, their laughter filling the room, making my icey mood seem dumb and stupid. But i can't change for the moment, only Cowboy Bebop or Ranma 1/2 would be able to help me laugh, help me smile...i want to escape this world, this sick twisted world of pain and power hungry people. Andy says that Edward Scissorhands has no plot, but he's wrong...it does. In my opinion, it shows how even an innocent suburban neighborhood can turn bad, turn on someone that they had adored...

that's aboot all i can take fer today, love y'all

hmmm...i'm in an Edward Scissorhands type of mood today, fun fun fun...mayhap i'll watch it later, but we might be watching a war movie later so i might hafta wait...

life's been okey day lately. I was allowed to view T3 yesterday w/ the family, damn it's good! Then we went dune vrooming, and well...i wasn't feeling good partially cuz i got a bit of what Rachel had, and Fred was being a bitch that day...but other than that the day was perfect, sorta. Around 1 last night/this morning i heard a tap on the sliding glass door, so i just laid in bed, then heard a tap on the window. I walked upstairs, then went back down and looked out the door and saw nothing. then i remembered that i had a whole stash of nshima spoons and decided that if someone decides to bug me tonight or anytime soon, i'll just spoon them to death ^_^

today i went to a baseball game, played w/ the digital camera and didn't watch the game at all...hehehe...

Ed very much enjoyed the tina party dealy yesserday, she hopes that it was okey day fer everyone elses too. Esther played w/ her by the fire and drew pictures w/ the charcoal, was fun and insane, and jumped up and down on the ddr pad. fun fun fun ^_~

Ed just watched "mushroom samba" a few minutes ago, that's why she's in an ed mood today. it's funny! faye, spike, and jet eat shrooms that make them high (ed gave them to them) and all hell broke loose! ed laughed soooo much!!!!!! mushroom samba session is now added to ed's favourite sessions!!!!! w00t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ed has a question for Rachel chan, what's the name of track 19 on the cd you gave ed yesterday? she recognizes it from somewhere and surmises that it's either from Jin Roh, Inu Yasha, Castle in the sky Laputa, or...ed dunno, some good anime. AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!! Ed MUST know what the song is called!!!!!!! She's going insane from lack of memory of not knowing where it's from!!!!!

once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
and he called it "chops"
because that was the name of his dog
and that's what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
and his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
that was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
and he let them sing on the bus
and his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
and his mother and father kissed alot
and the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
and his father always tucked him in bed at night
and was always there to do it.

Once on a piece of paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
and he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
and that's what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
and the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
and left butts on the pews
and sometimes they would burn holes
that was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
and the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
and the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed alot
and his father never tucked him in bed at night
and his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
and he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
and that's what it was all about
and his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
that was the year that Father Tracy died
and he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
and he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
and his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
and the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
and at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly.

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
and he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
because that what it was really all about
and he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
and he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen

i'm rather amused at myself...tuesday night, and i mean night as in 12 or 1, i think i hear scratching and whatnot on the door in the next semi-room. I glare into the next room then fall asleep, dreaming of kidnapping rabbits and homicidal cuties ('Nny). So then i wake up around 6 to hear the damn sprinkler system go on, and when it goes on it makes a pretty loud noise, and so i scream/shriek and fall asleep again. I guess mum was in the kitchen at that time and my scream reminded her of the screams that everybody but me (i'm a deep sleeper most of the time) heard at my grandma's house on saturday night, like someone being raped. My scream also woke up Andy and he thought that mum was hurt or sommat...fun fun fun...i was amused muchly when i woke up the next time and heard about the wonderful things that went thru everybody's heads.

We also went to Michigan Adventure yesserday!!!! w00t!!!!!! Tina and i went on the corkscrew, wolverine wildcat, and shivering timbers!!!! Shivering Timbers is the best!!!!! I went on it 4 times! We also were at the water park, and i like the wave pool the best, even tho i fell asleep still feeling the waves rock my body back and forth...back and forth...

Today i am expected to be dragged to my aunt's house and pick blueberries and swim, but i'd rather have some alone time. As in "hey mum just drop me off here" grab a key and run home so that mum and andy and tina go and i stay and spend the day alone w/ myself so i can actually think and not have andy or tina breathing down my shoulder. But that won't happen until Tina leaves...fun fun fun...gotta vroom *groans*...thanks fer letting me know who all will come, tho i don't know how to count at the moment...Esther, try to psychically transport yourself if possible, if not...we'll just pretend that you're here and tell you what you did later ^_~

Come to Tina's farewell bash!!!!! 7:00 pm at Kt's house!!!!!!!! Everyone here is invited!!!!!even charlie...

We'll have our lil' fire pit dealy aroarin' w/ flames and chocolate, marshmellows, and hotdogs will be involved. And i was wondering...as i don't have any gaming equipment, could someone bring their PS2, DDR stuff (DDRMax please, it's good), and other gaming equipment. An X-box might be nice too...but that's just getting hopes too high...

If any o' y'all'd like to come, please comment on this journal, saying that you'll come. And if you need directions...umm, ask me, benoit, ray, or jackie.

memoirs of a sad kitty


hola all, hope life is smiling at y'all right now. It's kinda smiling at me, by making it look like it'll storm and storm and storm....ahhh, the sound of thunder at midday....heavenly...

Well, i'm gonna hopefully go to Jackie's dealy, only if Tina wants to tho...fun fun fun

and before i forget! Come to Tina's farewell bash on friday!!!!!! time still has to be decided...but we'd love it if y'all could come ^_^

well, i'm back from a wonderful visit to my grandma's in monroe. No leg room in the car, sleeping on the floor at night, going to Greenfield Village and the museum (which i thought was rather boring except for the James Bond cars)...not to mention seeing my grandpa who doesn't care that i exist because i'm a girl...yeah, fun fun fun...

Good news is that i have the Hellsing soundtrack *cheers* and it's so damn good! i was in Walden Books for more than 1/2 an hour, reading a manga called "Confidential Confessions"...and now i know how to slit my wrists, tho i won't. i'd rather not hurt myself after that "fun" of it all a few months ago...it's a good manga, but i don't know if i'll buy it, it's too depressing for me at the moment, and it might give me ideas...

and now perhaps i should explain my earlier entry...i'm giving up on love for the moment. I've never really felt the emotion except in church and w/ mum and y'all (but that's a different sorta love) and well, i know i'll probably be waiting awhile to feel the sort of love that ray and rachel feel for each other...so i'm gonna give up on it until i grow up, which is never. I've always wanted to taste the kind of love that binds people together, making them do acts of outragousness just to proove their love to the man/woman that has caught their eye...love to my Lord and family and y'all is enough, tho demanding at times, and as i don't have anyone to love-love...yeah...i'm just stop here cuz i'm just sayin stupid things that will never make sense to some people out there, and i'm afraid that mum's gonna read o're my shoulder so...the gloom cookie is done w/ her update of life for today.