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2004 19 December :: 7.04 pm
pictures from the Christmas dance
These are some pictures from before the dance...
Me and Cody...
Liz and Ashley at Ashley's house...
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2004 19 December :: 3.51 pm
:: Music: eminem
"we all have sticky boobs!"
Uh, wow, I haven't wrote for a week.. and last week.. I gotta think.
On Tuesday, Cody came home with me, and then we went to Formality's for my fitting of my dress.
When I put it on he made a face, and I knew he didn't like it.
My mom bought me this bra that just sticks to your skin, so i wouldn't have any straps or anything.
On Wednesday, I had to work.. so I stayed for detention, and then went to work...
On Thursday...my dress was finished, so me and Cody went to my house and chilled and then wen tiwth my mom to pick up my dress. That sticky bra didn't work, because it was too small, so we exchanged them for a C-D instead.
After we were done, we took Cody home and then me and my mom went to get Wendy's and McDonald's.
On Friday, I went home with Cody after school, and we went to K-Mart at like 5:00 to ring bells... It was soooo cold outside. My mom came to bring me Cody's jacket and a scarf and some gloves, and Cody was wearing her pair of mittens. It was so funny. We stood out there for 4 hours, just me, Cody, and most of the time his mom was there. It was cool, because she went and picked us up some cappucino, and it as delicious. I kept thinking I was getting frostbite because my toes were hurting sooooooooo bad, and my socks were REALLY thin, so I had to keep going under the hand dryer in the bathroom to warm them.
A couple hours later, Opie came and stood with us to ring bells, and then at liek 8:45, Natalie came and then at 9:00 when we were all done, some guy came to take our pot away and told us we helped a family get shelter.
We went to eat pizza at pizza hut, which was bomb, but since Natalie had to go abck to work it was just me, cody, opie, and some kid whose name, i think, was Andrew.
After that, Stacy took me home, and i went to sleep.
Saturday...the day of the Christmas dance.
At 11:00, I went to my nail appointment. I got out of there at liek 1:30 because it was packed, I saw Jenna, and Kim, and a couple other people. My nails turned out pretty nice, except I paid $15 t get my toenails painted when I could have just done them myself.
I came home and ate pizza and some soup, and then I had to leave at 2:00 for my hair appointment at Tuscano's.
It was really cool, because some guy that sang with Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack sang "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" to one of the beauticians. He was getting his hair cut in the back by Jim, and he sang soo nice, we all got shivers and clapped.
My hair didn't turn out the way I wanted it to AT ALL. I explained it to the girl, but I don't think she understood, so it turned out looking sooo dumb.
Then.. they did Liz's hair exactly how I wanted mine done.. I was so pissed off and frustrated, I was crying liek a little pussy bitch, and went home and ripped it all out and re-did it myself. It turned out alright, with some great help of tracy.
It wasn't the way I wanted it, but it was better than the girl did, and it was alright.
After I was all done getting ready, I went down grandma's where Cody was waiting, and got a whole bunch of pictures.
A little bit after 7:00, the limo got here to pick us up, but he couldn't exactly make it up my grandma's driveway, because it was too sharp of a turn, he tried backing into it and everything, and it wasn't happenin', so everyone got out and ran in for more pictures.
We got in the limo (which was pretty cool) and rode to the dance. Everyone was looking at us, and you know we felt so cool. Haha. What dorks.
At the dance, it was Me & Cody, Jenevieve & Adam, Brent & Mary, Kim, and Trozzo.
The first thing we did was get our pictures taken, and then danced. We all danced in the corner of the cafeteria by ourselves.. and we had such a good time together. Cody was making me laugh the whole time, and he made it so much fun for me, I'm always loving every second I'm with him, and I was really happy to be there with him.
We saw a bunch of people and it was really cool. I went to the middle of the crowd to find Sarah, and sure enough, I did. I started dancing on her, and she didn't even realize it was me until she turned around. We gave eachother a hug, I said hi to Ryan, and then me and Cody went back to our other friends.
We left at about 9:00-9:30.
Once we got in the limo, we went to Exxon, and then decided we didn't want to just go home, so we all went to eat at Eat n Park.
Me & Cody and Jenna & Adam sat at one table, and Mary & Brent, Kim, and Trozzo sat at the other. I paid for our table, and Cody and Adam shared one of those assorted platter things and then got 3 orders of fries (which equaled to be a basket). Me and Jenna each got a salad, a bowl of broccoli and cheese, and then shared a basket of cheese fries. It was sooo good.
After that, we went back to Jenna's house where everyone smoked (except me and Cody) and had a little bit to drink. We all played cards, took pictures, and had a good time.
The whole night was fun, and I can't wait to get my pictures developed.
Me and Cody left at liek 2:30 in the morning, and Betty took us to his house, where we talked to his mom for a long time, and then went to sleep. Actually, I fell asleep while she was still in the room.
"Start breaking that fucking weed up!"-Jarrod
"I don't know how!!!"-Betty
"What do you mean you don't know how?! Start fucking breaking it into smaller pieces than it already is!!"-Jarrod
Hahah, oh yeah, and how about at like 2:00 in the morning, I jsut decide to call some random phone numbers. So, anyways, I randomly dial this number and ask for Tracy, when the guy tells me I have the wrong number, I jsut start carrying on a conversation with him until I finally let him get off the phone. haha it was so funny, he was like, "so you still livin' up the same place?", I was like, "yeah.. i know you have, you've lived there for years..", and he was like, "yeah.."
..the whole conversation was just crazy like that. It was so funny.
And then Todau I had to wake up at like 10 in the morning because I found out I had to work at 12. It sucked. Work was so boring, and so long.
Well, it's about time I take a shower. I'm a dirtball. peace.
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2004 13 December :: 8.20 pm
:: Mood: starving
:: Music: Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers
There's a certain line you just don't cross, and he crossed it...
Well, this weekend, after I last wrote...
My mom took me over to Burger King, and we waited for Cody to get off work and then I went to his house when his mom came to pick him up from work.
Right when we pulled into his driveway, Opie and Natalie pulled in behind us, and we all got into the house. Cody took a shower, and then we all got in Opie's car and went to the gas station and then McDonald's, where some kid carded Cody for a LIGHTER.
We went back to Opie's house, and we sat there until we decided we were going to watch Bad Boys II.. well, I, of course, fell asleep like halfway through, but hey, what can you expect? It was 2 in the morning and I was tired!
They woke me up after the movie, and we went back to Cody's house. We all sat in Cody's room for a while and talked for a couple hours and then Natalie and Opie went home and me and Cody went to sleep.
Saturday, December 11: Me and Cody woke up and he got ready for work. We dropped him off at work adn then me and Stacy went back to the house and just chilled all day, talked, and made potato salad.
At liek 5:30, we loaded up the car, after getting ready, and then we went to Keystone Bakery...
So, we pull up to Keystone Bakery, and we open our doors and this weird guy says something to us, and we're like, "what???", and he says it again, and I'm like, "what?!", and he says, "YOU HAVE A BAG ON YOUR TRUNK!"
So, I walk around to the back of the car.. and there sits the potato salad. Me and Stacy burst into laughter. I guess you had to be there. It was just calmly sitting there, chillin' on the back of the trunk, the bowl of potato salad, like we didn't just drive 50 mph up the hill by Marion, and all the way to Keystone Bakery.
We picked up the rolls and headed to the hall in Belle Vernon.
We set everything up, and then all the people started showing up, we just conversated with others and hung out. At 9:00 we went to go pick up Cody from work.
I saw Amanda Albig~she died her hair reddish brown, she said it was a while ago, but it looks nice.
We get to the hall and I sat with Cody the rest of the night. We danced, just had the best time we could, considering we were hanging out with, basically, 50 year old women.
After the party, we go to HavenCrest to take some left overs into the kitchen. After unpacking everything, Cody drove me home at about 4:00am-5:00am.
Sunday, December 12 (yesterday): I go to work, 12-4, and everyone tells me that Cindy (a waitress) quit Saturday night after some drama between the restaurant. Gerry (my boss), apparently told her to reconsider, but I don't think she's going to.
After work, I talked on the phone with Stacy for a while and then me and my mom went to the mall. We originally went ot look for a dress for me, but we stayed in the AT&T store for sooo long. I got a new phone, and we worked out plans (for the new Cingluar/AT&T deal, since the joined forces), so everyone in my family will have a phone by Christmas.
We looked for a dress for me, but there wasn't any, so after spending some more time in the AT&T store, we left.
We stopped at Wendy's on the way home, and I accidentally got the wrong sandwich, because I forgot to mention I wanted it plain with cheese!!! It was gay, but oh well.
Today, Monday, December 13th: I went to school, normal, gay school. Nothing special happened. Except that I accidentally got lipstick on Cody's shirt when I went to smell him and he FLIPPED out on me.. and I still feel extremely bad, because it was a nice, new shirt, and he was so upset, but oh well, what can you do? Right?
I stayed for detention after school, and then me and my mom went to pick out a dress from Formality's, which we did, and then we picked out shoes, and i go tomorrow for my fitting. It was originally $250, but we got it on sale for $25, it was an amazing deal.
Anyways, I am going to go, because I am on the phone with Cody.
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2004 10 December :: 10.11 pm
hahaha, best conversation between dan vivio and i...
jewnior7: ttyl
lisa3019: but wait
lisa3019: have you ever had a fingernail fall off?
jewnior7: lol no why?
lisa3019: i was at work like last week, and we were messing around with markers
lisa3019: and this kid drew on my arm, and i puilled away and knocked over a christmas tree
lisa3019: but i caught in, and in doing so, i hit my hand off the desk it was sitting on
lisa3019: and my fingernail started to bleed
lisa3019: and after that iw as real loose
jewnior7: that happend to my friends thumb once
lisa3019: and now its ALMOST there
lisa3019: its hanging there by the part thats under my skin
lisa3019: it lifts up liek a flap
jewnior7: haha ew
lisa3019: its so gross
jewnior7: like a little beak lol
jewnior7: thats sick
lisa3019: hahaha
lisa3019: its the best though
jewnior7: haha i bet it is
jewnior7: is it black and blue?
lisa3019: nope
lisa3019: it never turned any colors
lisa3019: it jsut bled, i put a bandaid on it thatnight, took it off 2 nights later
lisa3019: left it off for a day
lisa3019: thast afternoon i cleaned it with peroxide, put another bandaid on it.. that oen caem off the next day
lisa3019: i left it off for 2 days, poured peroxide on it (no band aid) and just left it
lisa3019: then tonight at work, it wiggled
jewnior7: you might wanna go to the doctors
lisa3019: and now im like a little kid with a loose tooth
jewnior7: lol put it under your pillow if it falls off
jewnior7: haha thats so sick
lisa3019: haha good idea, i shoudkl ask for a dollar for it
jewnior7: what is it like under your fingernail?
jewnior7: ive never seen underneath anyones fingernail before haha
lisa3019: you casn see mine at the dance if i see you
lisa3019: its jsut like
lisa3019: soft skin
lisa3019: it almsot looks like theres a fingernila there
jewnior7: like a babys bottom......
lisa3019: a deformed and soft one
lisa3019: hahaha yes~
lisa3019: no, not really
lisa3019: haah
lisa3019: my mom keeps on telling me how bad it will hurt whenit finally falls off
jewnior7: haha are you gonna get your nails painted for the dance
lisa3019: hahahaha i was going to get them done
jewnior7: maybe you wont have to pay full price
lisa3019: im thinking about just putting a bandaid over it and telling him to skip that one
jewnior7: just for 9
lisa3019: hahahahahaha
jewnior7: lol that would be funny
lisa3019: haha i should ask for a discount
jewnior7: yeah you really should haha
jewnior7: actually no
jewnior7: you know what you should do
jewnior7: you should act like nothings wrong with it
lisa3019: haha what
lisa3019: hahahahaha
jewnior7: and see what they do
jewnior7: lol
jewnior7: that would so funny
lisa3019: or.. when they go to do that finger
lisa3019: ill be like, "stop! wait, i dont want that one done, i dont have a fingernail for that hand"
lisa3019: or maybe i shoudl say, "hey i was wondering if you could jsut glue a nail on here..."
jewnior7: they will be like what the fuck?
jewnior7: draw a little smiley face on the skin there
jewnior7: just to see there reaction
lisa3019: hahahah
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2004 10 December :: 9.49 pm
:: Mood: chillin
:: Music: Crime Mob - White Tee... 50 Cent - Disco Inferno
"Hey fuckface,
I'm ready when your ass is.
P.S. You have a cute ass"
-Note from Timmy to Jim, somehow intercepted and given to me at work tonight?
It was funny reading it.
Oh, something else funny at work,
Tim-"You know what would look nice in those pockets?... My hands."
Lazan-"Yeah, well uh, that ass is slammin, let's start jammin'."
..haha they had me laughing. I got off work like a little over an hour early, because there was nothing for me to do, we had like 2 tables, so I just left.
Now, I am waiting for Cody to get off work at 11:00, so we can go to Opie's and watch a movie with Opie and Natalie.
I am dancing right now, so I am going to go.
Oh, by the way.. yesterday.. I stayed for detention, came home and took a nap, and then went to Big Lots with my mom and grandma.
That's it. peace.
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2004 8 December :: 10.23 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Postal Service
Let's start a brand new colony.. just you and me...
Well, it is my mom's birthday today.
I bought her this little crystal angel at the mall yesterday.
That's right, yesterday, I stayed for detention, and Cody stayed to type a report, so we went with his mom and Kaleigh to the mall and then to get a bunch of stuff for her work party.
Me and Kaleigh fell asleep on the ride back from the mall, but Cody and Stacy stopped at like 10 different places to pick things up and get gift certificates for the party and stuff.
We took Kaleigh home, and then we went back to his house and ate. After we ate, me and him went up to his room for a little bit, and then we came back downstairs a little bit later and got out all the Christmas decorations. We put them all up, and then put up the tree and decorated it--except for the ornaments. But we put lights and garland on, and it looked really nice. We had fun, even though he was kinda in a bad mood about everything.
I went home about 12 at night, and then I went right to sleep.
I went to school today, and it was nothing special. After school, I stayed for detention, and it was full of people.
I talked to Mr. Z. and he told me to try to make as much detentions up as I could, and I could go to the dance.
I am going to give Jenna $40 for the limo tomorrow in school.
I went to work from 5 'til 9 today. But really, I stayed 'til like 25 after.
It was really slow. I had angel hair pasta, and it was disgusting.. I'm never eating that again. If you know me, you know I don't complain about food, but I couldn't even eat all of it, it was so gross.
Cody has this cute thing typed in his info, I'll put the right punctuation in, and you will read it, and you will think it is cute!:
Life, it sucks, an its kinda hard,
But i know ill make it if i count on God.
I won't beat you, 'cause ill spare the rod.
Don't spoil the child, just live life loud.
Better calm down,' cause my life's too wild.
What will happen if i die before i wake?
Will God really want my soul to take?
I wonder about shit all the time,
I'm a retired gangsta so I put away my 9.
I got somethin' new that i live for,
It's my heavy objection against gang war.
How you like that, am I a fake ass thug?
I'm just tryin' to stay alive and keep away from the drugs...
and then at the end, it says "lisa, you mean everything to me"
..that's cute, huh?
ahah, even though he doesn't ever get on.. oh well.
Anyways, that's it for now, I'm gonna go... laa you. <3
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2004 6 December :: 7.16 pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: Eminem - Toy Soldier
words of wisdom*
There is this wall in my bedroom, the wall that my bedroom door is on, and above my door is a space, about a foot high (to the ceiling) and comes out about five or six inches.
Anyways, on this wall, I have a bunch of quotes. Quotes that, if everyone lived by, the world would be a much better place.
Some of them are just quotes from songs, and there's only a couple so far.. but I just love them, and I haven't looked at them in a while, but seeing them today, made me want to share them with you.
"We may not have it all together, but together we have it all."
-is a quote that I memorized once at John Waller's old house in Fayette City. He had a picture on his wall that said that, with pictures of Amelia and the baby. Me and Jenevieve read it once, and I just remembered it, and added it to my wall.
"Actions speak louder than words."
-is an old, but a good one. You can say you're going to change for the better, you can say it a million times, but it doesn't matter how much you say it, if you never act upon it.
"There are two kinds of people in this world. Those that play hopscotch and sing in the shower, and those that lie alone at night with tears in their eyes."
-is a quote from one of my "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul Journal" books. I love this quote. It's so sad.. but it can be so cute. It is supposed to give you a greater outlook on life. You don't want to be the one that lies alone at night, so make the most of every moment. Play hopscotch and sing in the shower!
"If you have love, you don't need anything else, and if you don't have love, it doesn't matter what else you have."
-I think I stole this quote from Jena, actually. But wherever I got it, I added it to my wall, because.. I like it. You haven't lived until you loved.
"My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy?"
-I so stole that from Hands Down, but I love that line.
"A person can live a month off a compliment."
-Another one from my Chicken Soup Journal. It just is proving the point that a compliment can go a long way, and that's true. People really do remember compliments. It can turn someone's day from being a bad day to a good day. Just imagine if it were the other way around. Picture this: You are having the worst day ever. You woke up late, didn't have time for a shower, had to throw on any old outfit. Your hair is an absolute wreck, you woke up to find you broke out over night and nothing will cover it. You are dropping everything, you're wearing two different socks. Ugh, it's just, one of those hasty mornings. You get to school, only to find out you have a test in like, every class, and you were prepared for like one. You are trying to get everything together and notice that, in your rush to get to school without being late (which, I might add, you were late anyways, because there was that one rrrreally slow car in front of you that you just couldn't pass because you never had the right opportunity), you forgot your homework.
Yuck. An awful day so far, right? Then.. someone you pass in the hall, someone you don't even associate with, not because either of you dislike the other, but just simply because your paths have never crossed, stops you to tell you that the eyeshadow you're wearing looks SO nice today.
You say thank-you, of course, but then all day, you're just thinking, "wow.. i didn't even spend 5 mintues on this make-up.. in fact, i did it on the way to school...," and you just feel that much better.
...Well, that's all for now.. I'll add some more in next time, I just wanted to throw in an update.
That was more of a section fo quotes than an update, so if you want your update, here it is:
School was school today. First period we finished watching off Finding Nemo. (that ending was exhilerating!)
Third period me, Covol, Jenna Gira, and Ludwick all sat around sharing memories, while Vicky and Julie Lacey listened and laughed along with us. We were all having a good ol' time, and we sure were laughing.
Seventh period~art II, I just decided what I was going to do for my letter R, and I drew some vines around it, some thorns on it, and I am maknig these corner things with roses on them and vine type thing to tie in with the letter.
Eighth period~I went down to the nurses to get my finger bandaged up and cleaned and some cough drops.
After school I went to Cody's. We were up in his room and his mom was downstairs yelling at us, we couldn't even hear what she was saying, but when he went downstairs I heard her yell at him, and when he came back up, I asked him what he said, and he said she was like, "if you guys are gonna screw go in the woods! i don't want that shit in my house!"
We took Cody to work, and since he lied and said that she was going to the mall (the reason he asked me over was so I can go to the mall with her), when we dropped him off, she asked me if I was going home.. hey, I thought we were going to the mall? I was all confused, and she told me she had no idea she was ever going to the mall.
So.. she took me home, that means, my homework is at Cody's house, and since this is all his fault, he's doing it for me... even though he doesn't know how to do Accounting.
I went home, and then at 5:15, my mom took me tanning. We went to get Subway, I came home ate it, and then sat here.
I really have to take a break from all the eating, I'm getting really fat. I don't even do exercises anymore. I'm going to be a monster over the winter, I know it.
Anyways, that's about it.. I think I'm going to go call Cody and yell at him, because since he got off work at 7:00, I think, being it's 10 after 8, that it is time for me to call him and yell at him for making me look like an idiot when was all confused in front of his mom when she said she never even had plans to go to the mall.
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2004 5 December :: 10.55 pm
:: Mood: sore throat
:: Music: Destiny's Child ft. Lil' Wayne and T.I. - Soldier
i need a rude boy that's good to me with street credibility
Well, nothin' new, you know how it goes.
A little bit ago I viewed my journal and the format for the site was really different, and there was a whole different set up. It was nice, but the site went down for a half hour or so and now that it's back up, it's back to normal.
I worked tonight. It was nothing really special. It was kinda fun, actually. Me and Amanda drank all this coffee and we were not busy at all, so we just went crazy.
Towards the end of the night, we all sat around and ate chicken tenders and cake and talked.
Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention, on Friday, my fingernail fell off. Not just the acrylic, the actual, real, whole, nail. It kinda hurt, and it was bleeding a little bit. I was at work and me, Katie, and Tim found all these markers, so we were testing them out, and Tim went to make a mark on me, so I pulled my arm back and knocked over this christmas decoration and when I went to catch it, I guess I smacked my hand on the desk really hard, becuase my fingernail fell off. Haha, it was gross, Tim felt bad though, and said it was his fault, even though it wasn't, and found me a band-aid.
I took that band-aid off for the first time tonight after I got home from work, because I was scared it was going to pull my nail off with it... and it almost did, but with some patience, I finally gave my little finger some air.
Last night, Saturday.. my mom took me over to the church, and we all went to Pittsburgh. I rode in the car with Patty and Cody in the front, and then it was me, Natalie, and Barbara in the back.
We went ice skating, and then we went to McDonald's to eat, and then we all went and fed and gave clothes to homeless people.
Giving them the clothes and stuff was the best part of the whole night, much better than ice skating or eating.
But.. that's all for now. I'm going to go.. later.
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2004 2 December :: 12.22 pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: 50 Cent - Disco Inferno
I know I just updated, but I forgot what I mainly wanted to update about...
I have 2 twin kittens that we need to find homes for. Whether they go together or not, they need a home, or they're going to the humane society, and we can't guarentee they will find homes from there, and if they do get homes there, we won't be able to know where they go, or if they get good homes.
They are about 3 months old, and they're still really little.
We'd keep them, but we have too many animals already.
They don't claw or chew anything up, they're real good, all they do is sleep and eat.
They're also really lovey, and they like attention.
They're twins and they're all black. They're both girls, and the only way you can tell them apart, is the one is fat and its real dark black and shiny, and the other one has a little bit of white under it's chin, it kinda has faint stripes, and it's lighter black than the other one.
Anyways, I can't find my digital camera, or I'd take pictures and post them on here, but if anyone is interested...?? maybe?? they really need homes.
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2004 2 December :: 10.29 am
:: Mood: soo sick.. and missing my dog
:: Music: Ciara and Missy Elliot - 1, 2, Step
update...
Well... I've been sick all day yesterday and all day today so far. I started getting sick the day before yesterday when Cody was over, that was the last time I updated.
Yesterday, I stayed home from school and couldn't even move, I felt like I was going to die.
After school I talked to Cody, but then he said he was going somewhere with his mom and he'd call me when he got home. I fell asleep in my mom's room, and a little bit later, I woke up because all the dogs were barking, and Cody walks into the room.
I was so happy to see him, because I didn't get to see him all day yesterday. He walks in and gives me hugs and kisses (although i refused to kiss him on the lips, because i didn't want him getting sick). he told me he went shopping for me, and that he couldn't wait for christmas to give it to me.
I woke up like 935384753 times throughout the night, finally, when i woke up at 20 after six in the morning, I called Cody to wake him up for school. He told me that he'd talk to me when he got home.
I slept all day today. The carpet guys came and layed carpet in my mom's room and liz's room.
that's about it.. i'm goin upstairs.. peace.
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2004 30 November :: 4.57 pm
:: Mood: mourning
:: Music: 50 Cent - Fat Bitch
Naw, I don't be fuckin' wit' the fat bitches.. that's Yayo!
These twinkies got ya ass gettin' FAT FAT!
hahaha... I love that song.
Last night, me and Cody got ready and then my mom dropped us off at his sister's house. We sat there for a little bit, Cody got a hoodie from Amber, and then we met Albaugh and walked around Belle Vernon with him.
We went to Heaven's, and then just sat there for a while. Josh spilled beer on me and Cody burned me with a cigarette.
Heaven took us home around quarter after 1:00am. She took Josh to Ciara's and then dropped me and Cody off at my house.
We went right to sleep and then this morning, Cody woke me up, we sat around, got in a fight, ate.. and then buried Brandy.
Burying Brandy was one of the most horrible things I've ever done. Cody refused to let me help dig the hole. I picked where I wanted her buried, after Pete already said we were burying her by the burn pile, but I didn't want her buried there. I wanted her buried in the back yard by the tree where she liked to lay.
So Cody bitched about burying her in the middle of the yard, and then he bitched when I was crying really hard, and then he bitched about how I was digging the hole, so I jsut went inside, sat in my kitchen and cried. I got her a blanket, because Cody had carried her up to the yard, and I went up to where he had the hole dug, but it was no where near being wide or deep enough.
I told him to dig it deeper, and then he bitched some more.
When he finished, it still wasn't wide enough, because I wanted her to fit in good enough and have enough room just to lay her down, but with the hole he had dug, it was a tight fit.
Me and Shawn layed down the blanket, and then Cody bitched about us being in the way, and he put her down. I cried the hardest when he layed her down. Although he did it gently, her one paw almost bent, and it was a tight squeeze, I was afraid she was going to be mangled, but there was nothing I could do.
It was so sad.
I cried a lot, and it was hard for me to stop.
But... we went in the house and my mom gave me a hug and I felt better. I made sandwiches and baked beans, and Cody some soup, too.
After we ate, me and Liz went tanning.
I'm gonna go.. I was supposed to go to an NA meeting with heaven tonight, but Cody's bitching about it, so I mgiht not.
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::
2004 29 November :: 2.38 pm
:: Mood: sad, depressed, and lonely...
I wrote a long entry, I was done.. and it canceled.
Well, it's been a week since I last wrote.. but this is basically what has happened...
We got out of school early on Wednesday, and I went to Cody's. I had to work at 5:00, so my mom picked me up and I went there.
Wednesday night after work I talked on the phone to Cody and his mom for hours. Around 12:00, my mom called my (from upstairs on my cell phone) and told me that if I wake up in the middle of the night, to please see if Brandy was out there, because she wasn't coming home, my mom was tired, and wanted to go to bed.
I told her that was gay and not to go to sleep until she let Brandy in, because it's cold out there, and she couldn't stay out there all night.
She got all mad, but said she wouldn't go to sleep until Brandy came back.
I talked on the phone with Cody and his mom for hours and hours, until like 3:30 in the morning.. Stacy had to wake up at liek 5:00am, so that sucks, I don't know how she did it.
Thursday morning, Thanksgiving...I woke up to go pee, and walked up the steps, and with one leg over the dog gate to go into the living room, Shawn says, "Lisa.. did you hear?"
Me-"Hear what??"
(Shawn pauses)
Pete-"Nothing.
Me-"Hear.. what?"
(Pete and Shawn exchange glances)
Shawn-"You're not going to like this..."
Pete-"No.. you're not going to like this at all..."
(a bad feeling arose in the pit of my stomach)
Me-"W-What is it? What happened?"
(I knew what was coming.. but I forced myself to veer away from the thought)
Shawn-"Brandy died.."
(my heart fell to that pit of my stomach that was full of burning acid at that moment"
Pete-"She ran out onto the highway last night...I'm sorry..."
I just stood there with my face in my hands crying. I couldn't even describe how I felt. It was like all of my happiness just fell out with every tear and I couldn't even believe what I had just heard. It couldn't be true. It felt like a dream, and I just wanted to wake up.
I sat in my kitchen and cried and cried.
My aunt came over, crying, she loved Brandy too, and demanded to see her when Pete told her Brandy was in the back of the truck.
We went outside to the truck and jammed open the tailgate that seemed impossible to get loose. Pete hollered from the window that we don't want to see her. But Aunt Mary demanded, sobbing and choking, to leave us alone.
Frustrated, she hastily ripped and pulled at the knot in the strings of the black garbage bag that I knew held my faithful friend.
I turned my back, crying hystarically and asking rhetorical questions to anyone that was listening.
Shawn told us that we didn't want to see, and that one of her eyes were almost hanging out, but Aunt Mary yelled at him and told him to rip open the bag. He did as he was told, and cut open a small hole.
There, in the opening, lay lifelessly, the small, cold, and wet paws of my wonderful, loving friend.
Aunt Mary cried harder and held Brandy's paw. I forced myself to hold her too, immediately lost my breath and cried harder...as I said good-bye to the one who loved me for everything I was. The one that I gave all my heart to.
I walked into the house crying that she was "cold and wet and needed a blanket."
The rest of the day I layed in bed and cried until Pete woke me up and told me to come to my grandma's with the family. All the while we were eating Thanksgiving dinner, I had my mind on how much Brandy would love to hasve some of the left overs, and how much I missed her.
After dinner, my mom took me over Cody's sister's house and me and Amber (Cody's sister), watched these prairie movies and I fell asleep.
The next morning, Friday morning, Amber woke me up and told me to go upstairs with Cody and sleep in the bed (instead of sleeping on the chair that I was in).
We woke up aroudn the afternoon, and sat around the house with Amber and the baby, and then Stacy picked us up, we got Cody an interview at Burger King on 51, and then we went to his grandma's house to eat.
My mom was on her way to pick me up, so me and Cody stood waiting for her in the street, talking to a very, very high Toby.
I cried myself to sleep that night, and then woke up to go to ork at 4 on Saturday.
I cried all day at work, and it was miserable, and then after work I went to Cody's.
We played Madden, and then went to sleep.
on Sunday morning, Stacy woke us up to get ready for chuch, we left, and after church, we went back to his house and watched the game.
I had work at 4, so my mom picked me up and took me there where I worked with Lils.
After work I came home and talked to Cody and his mom for hours on the phone (again), and then Cody went to sleep, and me and Stacy talked until about 3:00am, and then we went to sleep.
This morning.. I hooked up the internet, because something went wrong with the inetnert connection I had before, so I got a new one and I hate it, but oh well, it's the internet.
This was something I had wrote one of the days my internet wasn't working...
November 27, 2004
I miss my dog so much. Thanksgiving was two days ago, and it was the worst day of my life. I woke up to go to the bathroom, and when I walked up the stairs, Shawn stopped me in the kicthen and him and Pete informed me that Brandy was dead.
I didn't even think I could eat for Thanksgiving, but I got my mind away from it enough to go to my grandma's. After that I went to Cody's sister's, and I even slept over there.
When I came home the next day (yesterday), I walked up the stairs to my kitchen, with all my dogs there to greet me--except Brandy, who was always the happiest to see me. Yesterday was the first day in six or seven years that I came home and Brandy wasn't there waiting for me.
Since I first saw Brandy, I knew she was my dog. I picked her out of the whole bunch I had to choose from, and as soon as I saw her, I didn't even bother looking at any of the other dogs.
My Brandy, My B, My Beagle, my puppy... my best friend. The one who stood by me side, wagging her tail when I had noone else. She was always there for me, and I sure did spoil her. She slept.. and snored.. right by my side every night after we snacked and watched t.v.
Last night I cried so hard. I couldn't even breathe. It doesn't even seem real. I can't believe that she's not here, and she won't be here ever again. I won't ever have her to hold, or to cry and complain to, or to play with.. ever again.
Before Thanksgiving dinner, Aunt Mary came over, crying, and demanded to see her. We went to the back of the truck where her body was in a black garbage bag. Aunt Mary and Shawn opened the bag, and there was her paw. I reached out and held it. It was so cold and wet.
My best friend in the whole word lay there, cold and wet in a plastic bag in the back of a truck. I couldn't even stand it. For someone who loved me through thick and thin, she deserved so much better than that.
She's in heaven now, I know, but I will miss her forever. I could never replace her. We have so many memories together, I will always think of her every time I open the cookie jar to get a cookie, and she's not scurrying in to beg for whatever she can get, or when I walk down the steps to my bedroom each night, and she's not there to follow me down. I'll think of her right before I fall asleep, and she's not next to me, snoring in my ear, keeping me awake. I'll miss her when she's not there to call up onto my chest and share lovies.
I know we can be together again...someday.
*Rest In Peace~Brandy*
I Love You
It may sound silly to be so upset over a dog dying, but she was MY dog. The one II picked for ME to love, and I just expected her to be with me so much longer. I would have never done anything to hurt her, and all she ever did was show me love, especially in my lowest times.
I hope I can feel better soon, and accept the fact that she's gone forever.
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::
2004 22 November :: 7.55 am
:: Mood: mad.. sad.. disappointed
:: Music: Nelly & Mase - I Still Love You
Work was actually busy for a Sunday morning today.. I hated it.
I left at 4 and my mom was really late, so I stood outside and talked to Cody on the phone until she got there.
She dropped me off at Cody's, except he wasn't home, so we waited for him to get home and sat in front of his house for ever.
I finally called his grandma's, and he asked why I hadn't called sooner, and he said he thought his mom was home.
Me and my mom went to his grandma's, picked him up, and she dropped me and him off at his house.
We sat at his house for a while, we tried fixing his computer... It's a little better, but it's pretty much pointless to try, because it's like.. broke.
You can't even defragment it, it just keeps restarting itself because of a "windows application" even when I don't have anything running and I stopped everything.
His mom came home for a little bit, but then she went shopping with Cody's uncle Scott. While she was gone me and Cody went to church. We were like 20 minutes early and he didn't even speed.
There weren't enough "senior high" kids to actually have a group, so we just all went in with the younger kids.
We went around the room and named our biggest weakness. Mine was my temper, and Cody's was respecting authority.
Then we all prayed for eachother.
The lasdy there, Patty, that we were talking to, was good friends with Cody's mom, and she introduced us to this other couple. They work out and stuff and me and Cody were like, "aw we wanna work out!".. The gym by my house (oh how I would lvoe to be a member) is too expensive.
Well, maybe if I saved up my money, I could join and then Cody could join on my membershipf or $18 a month. It's like $100 to join, so I'd make him pay half of that.
After church, we went to the convenience and got chocolate milks and i got a bag of chips and then we went home.
When we got back to his house, we sat and chilled with his mom. we cleaned his stove and then me and Cody slow danced to More Than Love by Los Lonely Boys.
After that we colored in coloring books and then me and Cody layed on the couch until Stacy took me home.
This morning.. I woke up late, becasue ym stupidass set my alarm for PM instead of AM.
Now Cody is really mad at me, ebcause I didn't wake him up for school and he can't miss anymore school or he'll fail.
My mom is taking me and Liz to school as soon as Liz is ready, and I'm going to see if she'll do me a favor and pick Cody up, but I bet she won't, because she is lazy like that.
Anyways, i gotta go. I'll write another time. Peace.
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::
2004 20 November :: 11.10 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Brand New
Oh come on! What's the point of reading about my life if you don't even partake in it.. atleast annonymously and partially?!? DAMN, let's see some action..
We'll try this once more. I feel like a dork. Jena posts it in her's, and she gets like 39785 comments.. I post it in mine, and uh, only Jena says anything.
Ask me 6 questions.
Any six, no matter how personal, private, or random. I have to answer them honestly.
Ask away, even if you don't have a journal.. leave an anonymous note.
props to Jena(xxinterrupted).*
Okay.. so.. here's the story, for those of you who don't know. And for those of you who do, let's review:
When school started, I wanted to get my math class switched to accounting, because I was scheduled to take Algebra/Geometry B, which I didn't even SIGN UP for, but whatever.
Anyways, so.. I put in an appointment to talk to my guidance counselor (Mrs. Peters), and since it was the beginning of school, and everyone wanted the schedules changed at the beginning of school, it took 2 weeks in to schedule me an appointment.
When i go down to the guidance office, she makes it into some big deal, because at that time, we had already taken like a test and 2 quizzes or something. But anyways, she looked at my grades on those and questioned why I wanted to be in Accounting if I'm doing so well in my Geometry?
Well, I wanted it switched, because I want to go to study business after school, and since I'm not taking good classes as it is, I figure if I take an accounting class this year and next, it would look good on my record.
So, she tells me she's going to talk to Mrs. Biondo. I give her 3 more weeks, and still nothing. I put in another slip to the office to make an appointment. By this time, it's October 2, and I got my slip back November 9th to tell me I had an appointment. That is bullshit.
I went down for my appointment all pissy, and was like, "well, it's too late to change anything now. it's already the 2nd nine weeks", and Mrs. Peters had to be nice because I guess Mr. Z said something to her because she's not even supposed to be my guidance counselor anymore after some shit happened.
She changed my schedule all around and told me that I can just carry over my first nine weeks grade into my Accounting class. You can't just do that.
But, anyways, I get to the class, and Mrs. Wrona is like, "uh, whatever, you can't stay in here. you're 9 weeks behind. whatever, sit over there," and sends me in the corner and ignores me the whole period, didn't even acknowledge me being there at all.
Well, after all this shit happened, my mom talked to Mr. Z and told him how much I really wanna take this class.. basically, to sum it up.. everyone said I will fail if I choose to stay in this class.
Anyways, to end it all.. I picked to stay in the class. This decision results in.. me having to teach myself up to chapter 6, making up all the work for chapter 6 that i missed so far in this nine week grading period, and still keeping up with what their learning in class.
Uh.. I was assigned it all the first day I was in the class, and so far I have 3/4 of Chapter 6 work done, and I can still do my homework that they're assigned in class.
I'm working really hard to prove them wrong.
This weekend, after school yesterday I stayed for detention and then went to work at 4 until 10. After work, my mom dropped me off at Kelli's. A bunch of Kelli's friends were there and Jenevieve and Adam.
At 11:30, me, Jenna, and Adam walked to Jenna's house while everyone else went to Wal-Mart.
Cody got a ride to Jenna's, and a little bit later, Adam drove us to Kelli's.
Since everyone except me, Jenna, and Cody were smoking, we sat in the kitchen and everyone smoked in the living room.
After everyone was done smokin', Adam came and sat with us in the kicthen and we all chilled and talked.
A little bit later Greco came over, and it was pretty much Adam, Cody,and Greco against me and Jenna.
We all sat there and fought over dumb shit like the whole time.
And then Greco took me and Cody back to Cody's house at 2:30am.
His mom was sleeping on the couch and was pretty pissed that we came home so late.. but.. we just went upstairs.
We finally fell asleep about 4am.
Sunday (Today) morning...: Cody woke up at like 9:30 to go do community service. Today he had to wash police cars. He left and I fell asleep. About 10 minutes later he comes home and says the cops weren't even there so he couldn't do community service today. He layed there with me for a little bit until I fell back asleep, and then he went downstairs and cleaned his house.
I woke up at liek 11, and went downstiars to pee and he made macaroni salad with mushrooms and stuff. It was really good, but it figures that the only time I'm NOT hungry is when I first wake up, so i only ate a little bit.
We went outside and played basketball for a little bit, and then we went inside and took a nap.
His mom came home about 3:00 and we woke up 20 'til 4, and got dressed, and I went to work.
I worked 4-10 with Lindsey, and it was really not busy at all for a Saturday.
We didn't do anything the first hour, then 5:00 all these people came in and we were busy until about 7:00.
By 7:30 we had like two tables and we all just sat in the dining room and talked.
Me and Lindsey left at about 9:00-9:30.
I went to Tracy's house to help her and my mom clean up after Emily's birthday party, ate some Bethel Bakery cake (!!best cake ever!!) and then went home and cleaned my room.
Tomorrow I have to work the morning shift, 12-4 and then I think I'll probably be with Cody after that (as usual). We might even go to church in the evening.
Anyways, it's about 5 after 1 in the morning and I'm really tired because I had a busy day. So.. I'm gonna go to sleep. Peace.
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::
2004 18 November :: 6.09 pm
:: Mood: ugh, depressed
:: Music: Brand New
I am heaven sent.. don't you dare forget
Today was my second day in accounting. I really am doing well. I have to teach myself up to Chapter 6, and I have to make up all the work for Chapter 6 and still keep up with what they're doing in class.
Well, it was only my second day, but I did 3/4 of the Chapter 6 work, and i am caught up with their homework that they were assigned tonight.
Now, all I have to do is color my art project.
Okay... Uh, what else?
Nothing. I got my nails done, and I started tanning, but I got burned a little bit today. I don't know how that happened, because I've never been sunburned, but.. I went and I fell asleep, and I woke u and realized I was in there for liek 35 minutes. I didn't even know that was possible. Anyways, my body is really tan, and my face is red.
That's about all that is new. I'm gonna go.
Love,
Lisa
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::
2004 15 November :: 4.41 pm
:: Mood: uhh, my left eye hurts
:: Music: Eminem
You always thought that I was doing alright,
But nothing that was through a night,
'Cohs I'm crazy over you
Let me go crazy, crazy over you.*
Can't you see what you do to me baby?
You make me crazy, you make me act like a maniac.
I'm like a lunatic, you make me sick.
You truly are the only one who can do this to me,
You just make me get so crazy.
I go skitzo, I get so insane I just go skitzophrenic.
One minute I want to slit your throat, the next I wanna sex.
You make me crazy, the way we act like 2 maniacs in the sack.
We fuck like 2 jackrabbits, and maybe that's a bad habit.
'Cohs the next day we're right back at it in the same exact pattern.
What the fuck is the matter with us?
We can't figure out if it's lust or it's love.
What's sad is what's attracting us to each other.
But I stay and still stick it out with you even though you just hit me today.
But I deserved it, I hit you first and provoked you to choke me,
Just 'cohs you came home late last night crawled in bed and awoke me.
But if there's one thing about you that I admire,
It's, baby, because you stay with me, maybe, because you're as crazy as I am.
Cuz when I look at you I can see an angel in your eyes,
Like a devil in disguise, you're always full of surprises
I'm plenty more mature than those other little hoes,
Who just act like little girls,
Like they're in middle school still.
I'm crazy, sexy, cool, chillin.
I play my position, I never step out of line.
Even though I stay in your business
You've always kept out of mine.
I wonder whats on your mind,
Sometimes they say love is blind.
Maybe that's why the first time I dotted your eye you ain't see a sign.
Or maybe you did?
Maybe you like me and stuff.
Maybe 'cohs we're crazy in love.*
You're the ink to my paper.
What my pen is to my pad.
The moral, the very fiber.
The whole substance to my rap.
You are my reason for being.
The meaning of my existence.
If it wasn't for you, I would never be able to spit this.
You rely on me as much as I rely on you to inspire me like you do.
You provide me the lighterfluid to fuel my fire
You're my entire supply: Gas, the match, the igniter.
The only way that I am able to stay so stable,
Is you're the legs to my table.
If you were to break, I'd fall on my face.
But I'm always going to make you feel I don't need you as much as I really need you,
So you don't use it to your advantage.
But you're essential to me.
You're the air I breathe.
I believe if you ever leave me I'd probably have no reason to be.
You are the Kim to my Marshall.
You're the Slim to my Shady.
The Dre to my Eminem.
The Elaina to my Hailey.
You are the word I am looking for when I'm trying to describe how I feel inside,
And the right one just won't come to my mind.
I'm like the pillar that props you up,
The beam that supports you.
The bitch who never took half,
The wife who never divorced you.
I'm like the root to your evil,
I let your devil come out you.
I let you beat the shit out me,
Before I beat the shit out you.
And no matter how much,
Too much is never enough.
Maybe cuz we're crazy in love.*
I'm crazy over you
Crazy over you
Let me go crazy, crazy over you.
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::
2004 14 November :: 10.28 pm
:: Mood: so tired.. oh so so tired...
:: Music: Brand New - The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot
If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand, I'll found out what you already know what I am
So.. On the 12th, which was Friday night, me and Cody are at his house.. my mom takes me there after work, because she tells me I can't sleep over ?? why you ask? i haven't a clue..
Anyways, so I am at Cody's, and I'm falling asleep on the couch, and he's really mad at me, and doing everything he can to wake me up.
I wake up, we get ready, and we go to Heaven's and chill until about 5am.
Heaven's friend takes us to Cody's house, and since my hosue is too far, I couldn't get a ride home.
I got a ride home in the morning before 12, because Pete was real mad and he sent me threatening voice mails, haha, and so, Heaven takes me home cause I tell her I'll give her gas money (since she didn't have any gas.)
We stop at my bank, and I go in, and my ATM card doesn't work, so I have the lady try to work it.. no luck.
Then I ask her if she could just cash my checks, but she won't.
At that point, I get really pissed, because National City cashed them with no problem a time before. It was ridiculous. I was mad.
Heaven and her friend come in my house until my mom gets out of the shower and I borrow $7 to give them gas money.
They leave shortly after, and me and Cody chill in my room until my dad takes us out to eat. It was crazy, spending time with Cody AND my dad.
I had to work tonight.
It was busy, and I had to work Sunday night alone, I don't know why anyone wasn't scheduled with me..?
Besides that.. I talked to Jenna the other day.. me and her haven't hung out in a while.. I haven't hung out with any of my friends actually, because I started to get away from the things that I was into, and now it seems we don't really have much to do.
But after talking to Jenna, I found out, she hasn't been smoking either, so we can hang out and do other things.
Considering the fact that I've been using marijuana (you liek that term, "using marijuana"?) since I was like 12, I really don't know what to do in my spare time.
I don't know what normal people do when they want to go hang out.
I don't drink, so when you go to someone's house do you watch t.v.?? or play a game or something?? I have no idea! I feel really dumb asking that, but.. how stupid does it sound, "ooh let's go watch t.v. or play a a board game!".. what do "non-smokers" do for fun?
I couldn't even imagine watching a movie not-high and it still be interesting. I've tried to watch a little t.v., and I can't even get into it. Where is your creativity?? Where does your imagination come from?!
Can someone please help a girl out? What's the deal here??!
Anyways.. so I've been kinda bored lately, you know. I'm not real sure how to live my life now that I'm not a pothead. I don't know how to start off conversations without my "this one time, when i was really high.." line.
Do people actually talk about sports and politics and their spare time?
What kind of life is this???
On another note.. I got my bracelet today. Haha, yeah, my $300.00 beautiful peridot and gold bracelet. It looks so nice with my rings.. oh how lovely.
Other than that, I need a new cell phone, mine has really started to fuck up, bad. I REALLY need one. I might go tomorrow, because I have a couple things to do tomorrow.
I have to make a tanning appointment for a monthly session if I'm going to be going to the Christmas dance.
I have to go get my nails done, because I can't stand it any longer, they are so ugly, they need fixed.
I have to get a new phone.
..and I need a hair cut, but I don't think I'm going to get it done tomorrow.
Uhh.. other than that.. I think I'm going to bed or something. Peace out.
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::
2004 14 November :: 10.11 pm
work schedule
November
Wednesday, the 17th......5-9
Friday, the 19th............4-10
Saturday, the 17th........4-10
Sunday, the 21st..........12-4
Wednesday, the 24th......5-9
Saturday, the 27th.........4-10
December
Wednesday, the 1st........5-9
Friday, the 3rd..............4-10
Saturday the 4th...........4-10
Sunday the 5th...............4-9
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::
2004 14 November :: 9.57 pm
:: Mood: soo tired
:: Music: Brand New - Jaws Swimming Theme
if you need me just let me know
Ask me 6 questions.
Any six, no matter how personal, private, or random. I have to answer them honestly.
In turn, you have to post this message in your own journal // OR // you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.
Ask away, even if you don't have a journal.. leave an anonymous note.
props to Jena(xxinterrupted).*
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::
2004 14 November :: 11.20 am
:: Mood: my tummy hurts
this is going to be a quick one...
Well, yesterday, Cody was here (as is he every day), my dad was coming to pick me up at like, 6:00.. so I got all ready, and he showed up.
I ran upstairs to get my purse, I came back downstairs and he asked if Cody wanted to come with us, I was like, "...no.. i don't think so...", and he was like, "Well, ask him..".. so I said, "Cody, do you want to come eat with us?", and Cody was liek, "Well, I'm not really dressed.." (looks down at his sweat pants with paitn spots and his white t-shirt), my dad says, "Well, we're not goin to no expensive restaurant...", so Cody said "okay then", and we all got in the car.
On the way, me and Cody are texting eachother because, like Cody texted to me, "I NEVER XPECTD THIS 2HAPPEN".. and neither of us did.
We went to Chili's, and the wait was 50 minutes, my dad said "fuck that", and we went to Applebee's. We sat at the bar until there was a table clear for us. I got a big Applebee's House Steak. Cody got a broccoli Fettuccini Alfredo, my dad got Chicken Tortilla things.. what are those called? I can't remember. with all the things in the tortilla shell...? and Karen got this huge rib platter thing. None of us finished except for my dad. I took mine home as a mummy bag, and gave it to my mom.
They dropped me and Cody off at my house, after inviting us to spend the night sometime, and then we sat in my room for a couple hours, 11:30, my mom took Cody home, he had to get up early this morning to go to work with his mom for community service.
Right now, I'm going to end this, because I have to get ready and go to the bank to cash and deposit my check and activate my bank card.
I'll update better later... I have to go to work at 4, so I'll update sometime before then.
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::
2004 13 November :: 3.40 pm
:: Mood: bored.. tummy hurts
:: Music:
cody nichols is my anti-drug
Well, this week was boring. I didn't do anything special. I am hanging out with Cody everyday and we don't talk to anyone else.
We never ended up going to any rehab meetings.. Cody had a meeting with his P.O. the other day and they are giving him another chance, but drug testing him in December. We still haven't smoked weed, even when we've been around it.
My mom wants to put me on birth control. We are making a decision on which gyne to go to and then I am going to see him/her and get put on birth control.
Yesterday, me and Cody hung out with Aaron and Heaven... yep, Aaron. The other day he was on AOL and i was talking to him and he called Cody that night. The other day, me and Cody were sleeping on the couch, and about 9 in the morning, Pete woke us up and told us we had a visitor... it was Aaron.
Well, I have to go straighten my hair. I'm grounded this week, until this next weekend, but if I find something to do, liek go cash my checks with my mom or something.. my hair needs to be done.
I'm gonna go.. peace.
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::
2004 7 November :: 9.39 pm
:: Mood: tired...bored...gotta pee...
:: Music: Styles P - Good Times (I Get High)
i don't get high, high, high...
Well, after I last wrote, which was on Thursday night... here's what went on...
On Friday, I went to school, and it was gay, you know.. I went home with Cody and he had to break into his house, his mom came home and we sat with her for a little bit, and then we got ready and Terry picked us up with Crystal, Richie, Ericka, and Mark and we all went to John and Amelia's for Josh's 18th party.
Everyone was drinking and smoking except me and Cody, well, Cody was drinking, but.. I just sat there and talked to Amelia the whole time.
I don't drink, I think because I have been drinking since I was pretty young, way before anyone my age ever drank, when everyone was all, "YOU GOT DRUNK?!" So, I think it got old, and I am through with that phase now, but the point is, I don't get drunk anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I'll drink if I like the drink, but I don't like to get drunk anymore, so why should I drink beer, something that I don't like at all, if I don't want to get drunk in the first place? I don't see the point in that. I only drink if I like the drink, and I'll catch a buzz, but I don't get drunk.
Anyways.. and since I don't smoke anymore, (if you're unsure on the whole deal, I don't smoke weed anymore, because Cody said he wanted to quit, and it is easier for him to say no if I'm saying no with him. I mean like, I can be the only person in the room not smoking, I don't have a problem with it, but Cody can't sit there and just let everyone else get high and him not be high.. so we quit together.)
I will admit, Friday was difficult, if it wasn't for Amelia, I probably would've cried.
We sat on the porch while everyone smoked and drank, and so what was there for me to do?.. All that minus the smoking and drinking leaves.. sitting there.. and that's what I did.. noone talked to me, and I just sat in the corner and watched everyone have a good time, I was actually, completely miserable.. until Amelia came out and talked to me about not having a good time and the baby and stuff, and since she can't smoke or drink because she's pregnant again, we just stayed sober together and made fun of everyone else, haha.
Josh said he hasn't been in trouble in a while, and he's stayin' good.. he's really changed a lot.. he's so much more mature.. he's really nice now, as opposed to how he used to kinda be mean to me, he's not rude or anything, and he's pretty cool, we talked a little bit, and he is really different.
At about 1:30, Terry came and took us all home. Me and Cody went to my house and he slept in my room and I slept upstairs on the couch.
Saturday... Me and Cody kinda just sat at my house and did nothing, really.
I got ready and left at 3:30, and went to work, while Cody was at Shawn and Nick's football banquet.
I got off at 10:00, and then my mom, Cody, and Liz picked me up. We all went to my house. Me and Cody watched, "Walking Tall," which was a pretty good movie, and then we fell asleep on the couch.
(Today) Sunday morning, we woke up and just kinda layed there a while, and then got up, cleaned my living room, primered my bathroom, and then watched the Steelers game.
At 4:00, I had to go to work, and so Cody and my mom dropped me off there and Cody went home.
That's about it.. besides the fact that I worked with Lidnsey Zubritsky tonight!
It was her first day and me and Corey were training her, but it was fun, I guess. As fun as work can be.
After work, she dropped Corey off and then took me home and here I am.
All done.
Tomorrow after school, I think Crystal and Cody are coming home with me. Me and Crystal are supposed to go get our nails done. Anyways, I gotta go.. Peace out.
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2004 4 November :: 10.26 pm
:: Music: Eminem, Dr. Dre, Obie Trice - Encore
we came here to set this party off right
Yeah so, I haven't done much of anything. I worked this week, except for yesterday. Yesterday was Toby's first day back in school. Poor Toby. He got his art project done, so I hate him, haha. Plus, it turned out REALLY really nice.
Tomorrow is Cody's first day back. He wants to come back, poor Cody.
Yesterday, I went to my house after school, and Cody came over and helped me waterproof my bathroom. We got the job done good! Now we have to primer it with this stuff and then we have to paint it with this special texture paint! we're gonna make it look so nice.. haha.
Me and Cody ate some dinner, I schooled him in some Madden, and then, since he was all pissed off, we watched Mean Girls, and then he went upstairs to play Shawn in Madden (because that's his competition.. haha look at me talkin' shit), and I fell asleep.
Today, I went to schoo, surprisingly on time, and I didn't do shit! Me and Covol got one step closer to becoming friends with a small child in pre school, and Toby cracked me up in Art when he kept running into things..
Oh yeah, and I loved Tony's "dollar-today." Haha when he asked me if I wanted somethin, Mike thought he heard him ask me if I wanted a dollar today.. i was like yeah, i'll take a dollar-today. i'm tlakin' like a retard though, and none a yins can probally understand what i'm sayin.. the point is, i'm gonna read this later, and I'LL understand waht i'm sayin, and I'LL laugh about it.
But anyways, oh yeah.. before i forget... me and cody didn't go to that drug meeting thing, it was cancelled and postponed til saturday, but i have to work saturday, so i dunno...
but anyways.. i'm peacin' out.
p.s.
i ain't allowed to play powderpuff
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2004 3 November :: 12.19 am
:: Mood: eh, i'm alright...
:: Music: none
© November 2, 2002.*
This weekend, I didn't do anything extra special or nothin'. On Friday, I had work, and I worked with Jess.
On Saturday, me and Cody went to the movies and saw The Grudge. It was really scary. He came back to my house after that, and my mom took him home at about 12.
On Sunday, I went to the flea market with Crystal, and then I went to Crystal's house after that, and we chilled for a minute and then went for a walk, since I had to go to work at 4. We saw Cody running, so we started walking with him and we ended up at Brandon's, where Terry came and picked us up, and I went to work, and got off early, at about 6:00. I called my mom and asked her to take me to Crystal's to watch the rest of the game with Cody, and she wouldn't, so I got really mad, and told her not to pick me up. I got in a big fight with her and Pete, and Terry, Cody, and Josh came and got me while I was walking along side the road.
I went to Crystal's for a little bit, and then came home about 8:00.
I cried myself to sleep, and then woke up when my mom looked underneath my blankets. I saw I had like 8 missed calls. I called Cody back, and he said he was really worried about me adn that he called my house, and my mom said I was missing.
The next morning, I tried to keep to myself, but Pete broke in my room while I was geting ready for school, and started yelling at me. We got in a big fight, and I went to school, and was a big mess.
3rd period-4th period some lady talked to me for a long time about everything. She was for the Student Assistance Program and her name was Mrs. Vivio. She was really nice and everything, but she wants me to go to the Health Center to see the psychiatrist to evaluate me to see if I am "clinically depressed."
Yesterday, Monday, November 1.. I called Cody when I got home from school and he came over my house and I spent the day with him.
We watched movies, and ate dinner, and played Madden, and stuff.
Today, I went to school, and it was really gay, because Cody and Toby are still suspended. Toby comes back tomorrow, but Cody still has to have a meeting to see how many days he gets out.
Today, after school, I rode Cody's bus home, and then chilled at his house until his mom took me to work (after we stopped at It's A Buck!).
After work, Cody was outside waiting for me with a dozen red roses and a teddy bear for our 2-year anniversary.
Tomorrow, Cody and his mom have a meeting with Mr. Z. at the school and then he is going to come to my house until I get home from school.
We are probably going to paint my bathroom, and then I have to go to powderpuff. After powderpuff, me and Cody have a meeting at Jefferson Hospital to go to at about 8:00...
That's it for now.. peace...
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2004 28 October :: 10.03 pm
:: Music: Uhh.. Jojo - Baby It's You
Simple things is what my heart beats for...
Today was a day of MASS confusion. I don't know where to being, but we'll start with the morning, when I woke up. I think that's a good place to start.
I woke up, and did not want to go to school. Mainly woke up to my pants full of blood, and my bathrooms empty of tampons.
We couldn't have blood dripping down my leg now can we?
I slept in 'til about 8:00 and then I called my mom and asked her if she would go get me tampons. She got all mad and told me to go down to the nurses when I told her I wasn't in school, and that I was downstairs in the basement.
When she finally ran out and got me tampons, it was almost too late for me to go to school and I was rushing around trying to get ready.
So.. 11:45, I walk into school and Mrs. Bickerton lets me slide, because me and her are tight like that, haha.
As SOON as I walk in, all these people come up to me talkin' how cody and toby are about to fight over me and they're all pissed off at eachother and they're fighting because of me and how i need to talk to them, and all these people are like, "why didn't you tell me cody hits you?!" and im like "cody doesn't hit me!" and they're like, "that's not what toby is saying"...
(To clarify that one up: Cody does not hit me out of anger. He does not hit me to hurt me. He hits me, I hit him back, that's how we mess around, we play rough.)
So... it jsut so happened to be Toby's lunch that I was standing in the middle of, and he comes walkin' up to me, and he's liek "we have to talk", and I'm like, "yeah, i know.. well.. here's the deal.. i don't want to be with either of you," and he's very understanding about it, but Cody comes walking down the steps and around the corner, and he's like, "hey guys, what's up?" and i'm like, "nothin.. except.. i don't... pick either of you", and he's like "fuck you," and walks away. I yelled for him to come back, he flicks me off and says it again.
Me and Toby talked about it a little more, and then decided to walk to 7th period.
On the way to the ramps, we're walkin with Richie, and Cody walks up to us and all was said, he called me and toby names, me and toby tried talking to him, he kept yelling, Mr. Kroskie came up to us and was like, "Let's go, we're going down to the office," and Cody's like, "Get the fuck out of my face!" and he says like, shut the fuck up, and fuck you, and mr. kroskie said he was going to get the cops, but i don't think cody cared, especially when he responded with, "i don't give a fuck, bring 'em!"
So.. Cody says something to me, Toby says, "fuck you," to him, and they both get sent down to the office. So, I'm standing there crying, and some lady walks me to the office.
I walk in the office, and I'm liek bawlin' my eyes out, I'm sure you all saw me, and then Mr. Z comes up to me and he's like, "Lisa, we don't want you in here, get out of here, what are you doing in here?!?!" and i yell back like, "the lady told me to come down here!!! this is where i was sent!" and he yells back, "get out of here, go cry to the counselor!!", so i was like, "what the fuck ever" and walk to the guidance counselor's office.
I talk to Mr. Lancas's intern for a while, and then I tell him I want to see the boys in the office, he tells me that's not possible, and when he does, I tell him I want to see my sister.
He walks out of guidance to find my sister, and I run to the office, but noone was at the front desk.
Mr. Pecshak, or whatever his name is, comes up to me and tells me I'm not allowed to talk to them, and that I have to go sit in his office or go back to class... so I sit with him, and my mom comes, and my sister got suspended, so she goes home, and I make an attempt to go back to class.
I spend the last five minutes in 6th period, and walking to 7th, I got to class and Toby was leaving, because he was getting suspended for about 10 days, and he tells me that Cody is probably getting locked back up.
So I'm crying, and I can't work on my project, so I get a pass to go back to the guidance counselor, and I'm sitting in the cafeteria, and I'm talking to Richie and everyone else, and then I decide I just want to leave and get high.
So.. I left with Adam and Richie when the bell for 8th period rang, and we went to Fayette City,a nd stopped at Toby's house and talked to his mom a little bit, but then me, Adam, and Richie went to Richie's house, and then they Adam went back and got Toby, and then Crystal got off the bus, and then Adam left to take Crystal and Richie to get Richie's hair cut.
So.. I'm on the phone with Cody (and I've been for a while, if we're going in this story's sequence) and he's crying, and I'm crying, and Toby's crying, and his mom is yelling, and he's yelling, and Crystal and Richie are trying to talk to me and Toby, and it was a big mess.
So.. Cody wants me to meet me somewhere. I'm sitting there with Toby, and him and his mom pull up, and pick us up.
Stacy drops me and Cody off at his house, and drives around to talk to Toby.
Me and Cody sit in his living room and talk about everything.
The final descion...
I don't pick either of them.
Me and Cody will eventually be together again, because we sat there crying to eachother the whole time. He kept on sayign he didn't think I liked him at all anymore, because I did this to him, and he was unsure about how long it was going on and everything. I think he thought me and Toby were liek, dating behind his back or something.
I explained to him that I feel bad hurting Toby like this, but I feel bad hurting Cody too, because when Cody hurts, I hurt.
He said he didn't mean to be mean to me, and it's just because he has that anger problem, and that he needs to get put on medicine, and he told me he's nicer to me than he is to his mom, and he told me that he can't be without me, and he doesn't know how I could do this to him and still love him. I told him I didn't know how he could date Caitlin and still lvoe me, and he said, "exactly, that's why me and caitlin dated for 2 days and i broke up with her because i was in love with you." and we cried and stuff, and yelled, and cried, and hugged and cried, and kissed, and cried, and hugged and kissed, and cried.
his mom and toby came home, him and toby cried and hugged, and we all talked to his mom, and we all told jokes, and then me, toby, and cody all went up into his room and chilled.
i am thinking things are going to be alright.. just like i always say they will be.
except that i just got in a big fight with my mom about drugs. she thinks that me smoking weed is going to lead me to bigger drugs, so i'm going to write a big research report for her, she'll love it.
she says i'm "being smart," but i'm trying to prove my point.
i'm sure you all know my point...
*"pothead" is a stereotype. not everyone who smokes weed does other drugs. it doesn't make everyone lazy, i do my most productive things when i'm high, and have my most intellectual conversation when i am high. it is not addictive, and everyone does it, but not everyone is an asshole, or stupid, about it. i don't grow it, sell it, buy it, carry it, or waste my money on it. i don't ever get in trouble with/about it. i do good in school, i'm friendly, i get good grades, i don't get in trouble, i don't smoke cigarettes, drink, or do drugs, i'm a good kid. i wish peopel would understand before they judge me. that's all. peace.
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2004 28 October :: 9.21 am
:: Mood: driving myself insane
:: Music: Trina ft. Fabolous - We Tight
This how we do, ya'll can't deny
Okay, well, this is how it goes...
Yesterday, me and Toby talked in school.
Cody wasn't there, so I really didn't feel right.
Brandon Kash bitched at me, and a lot of people told me I was fucked up.. everyone that didn't know the whole story.
Everyone that did know, they told me to pick Toby, because he would treat me like I deserve.
After school I rode the Fayette City bus home and went home with Crystal, Richie, and Toby. We got off the bus, and Cody was waiting at the bus stop.
We split up: Richie and Crystal went to her house to take all Richie's things back to his mom's house, because of a lot of things goin' on there.
Me, Cody, and Toby went to his house. (yeah i know.. i know)
We walked down Crystal's, and walking down the road, they started throwing rocks at signs, doin' dumb boy things, and then Cody threw a rock at me, and then he threw a lot more and I kept telling him to stop, because he was really hurting me, but he didn't stop.
He asked who I was talking to on the phone, I told him it was none of his business, and he said, "Fuck you bitch, get the fuck out of my town (even though he doesn't even live there), you disgust me!"
So he walked ahead and Toby walked with me and told me he was an asshole, and not to worry about it.
Besides that, Cody was quiet all day, which really isn't Cody at all.
Richie and Crystal weren't there, but when we left after talking to her grandma, we met them walking on the street. We all walked to Toby's, because Toby was taking me to work.
We all got in the car and we drove to my house and then me and Toby went in and I got changed for work and they all stayed outside. We came back out, and Richie turned his back to Cody, and then mouthed, "he knows."
I just got in the car.
I went to work.
I got home, and there was a missed call from Cody's house at 8:00 and I called back, and his mom said it wasn't her that called, so I figured it was Cody.
Cody called me back, blocking his number, and then we talked.
He told me I was fucked up. The whole thing was fucked up, and that I fucked everything up. He told me I was a bitch, and he couldn't believe that I was just going to throw 2 years away on his best friend.
It went on a long time. Toby beeped in twice, but I was arguing with Cody and crying, and I didn't answer.
He told me he couldn't be with me after this, becuase everythign was all fucked up now.
He eventually hung up on me, and I called Toby back and Toby told me that Cody was over his house and ate dinner with him and told him everythign was cool and he didn't have a problem with us being together. I told Toby, "yeah?.. he has a problem with it, trust me"
Cody called back after hanging up on me and I was on the phone with both of them at the same time. My mom knocked on the door, and I answered, with both phones up to my ear, and a sad, confsued look on my face. She laughed at me. I told them I was gonna go look at the moon with my mom, and that's what I did. She asked me if I was on the phone with both of them at the same time, I told her yes, and she was like, "telling them the same thing?!!?" and I was like, "no!"
The moon was cool. Lunar eclipse.
I called Toby back. I told him I thought he needed to talk to Cody, and that I didn't know what I was going to do.
Him and Cody fought some more, and then Cody called me back.
He told me to go out with Toby, because we like eachother and that's what we want to do, but it is so fucked up, and he can't believe me.
Toby called me back, and I picked up but I kept talking to Cody, and he heard everythign that was said, I told him I'd talk to him tomorrow, and got off the phone with him.
I talked to Cody a while, and he said that I didn't love him if I could do this to him, but that is soo not true. I told him, look at everything I put up with, all the times he's cheated on me and I just came right back to him, putting myself through more hurt each time.
I told him that I thought it funny how, no matter what he did, I always stuck by him, no matter what, and the first time I do something, he is so quick to end everything.
Like when all that shit with Cowen, how everyone said I cheated on him with Cowen, whcih wasn't true, but as soon as he heard it he didn't want to listen to anything I had to say, and he didn't want to talk to me anymore.
We got off the phone, said we loved eachother, he told me he was still mad at me.
I don't pick either.
That's my final answer.
I'm hurt either way.
With Cody, I'm hurt everyday because he doesn't care what mean things he says to me.
With Toby, I'm being treated right, but I'm hurt because he's not Cody. And I'm hurt because Cody is hurt.
So I don't pick either..
atleast for now...
...and we'll see what happens.
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2004 26 October :: 10.12 pm
:: Mood: crazy, insane, and smelling like La Eda's
:: Music: Trina - Da Baddest Bitch
i'm the baddest bitch
so.. i like my boyfriend's best friend, right?
well... here's the story...
I guess Cody would be considered my boyfriend, right? Because, although it's not official, we still are together, right?..
Well, he's not been the nicest person lately, and everyone, INCLUDING his friends, have seen it, and everyone is telling me that I need to find someone better for me, someone that will treat me right, and like I deserve to be treated.
So.. I started liking Toby.. I mean, he's sooo nice. He's the nicest person I ever met, honestly. He always does nice things for me, and even if it fucks up the rotation, he always passes to me... haha... no serioulsy, he does.
I love Cody. Everyone knows that. Everyone knows that I, Lisa Meehan, will forever and always be in love with Cody Nichols and there's nothing we, nor anyone else, can do about it.
Lately.. liking Toby just makes more and more sense.
Is that really that fucked up of me? I mean, to be liking my 2-year boyfriend's best friend? Does that make me a bitch? Even considering everything I've dealt with these past 2 years??
Just take a moment to reflect upon what fucked up things he has done to me...
Before I made him realize that he loves me, he cheated on me with all kinds of nasty, nasty girls.
We broke up and still talk, you know, there's me, thinkin' we're gonna go back out, and a good friend tells me he's fuckin' Albaugh's ex-girlfriend(ex-girl because Albaugh got locked up, not because they stopped liking eachother)...
So uh yeah he spent, what? 3 months fucking with my head (that's my fault, i'm the dumbass there, though) with Laura, and even when he actually was dating her we were still having sex all the time.
Then they break up and he goes out with one of my best friends.. which.. didn't really bother me all that much, because I loved her and I knew she would treat him right.(Although, his side of the story is that we started being friends when he started dating her, which completely isn't true at all.. even she can clarify that)
They broke up and we went back out. He got sent away, I dated Cowen (you know the whoel story, it wasn't all that long ago when I explained the whoel thing to yins).
We started datng again, this summer after Toby went out with Caitlin, Cody starts dating her.
So.. is it really that bad?
Crystal and Ludwick were the only people I told that I liked Toby.
Then, today in school, Crystal comes up to me and she tells me that after they dropped me off last night, Toby told her that he likes me and he wants to go out with me, but doesn't know what Cody would do.
So.. I was all, "aww", you know..
Because I really do liek Toby..
But I love Cody.
And.. I've always kinda stuck with the whole, "if you got somethin' goin' good, don't ruin it for somethin' that might not work".. but.. right now, we're not doin' all that good, you know?
Me and Cody fight everyday and he seriously has some anger problems.
It was just today at lunch that we got in a fight because he said to me (about some girl that I said I liked), "yeah.. i'd fuck her." I told him, "I don't say things like that to you do I?!?!" and he said I do.. and then we started yelling, and I told him I didn't care if he said it anwyays, because it's not like he hasn't had sex with some nasty, dirty, fat, ugly, and beat girls. Which, of course, concluded him to tell me that I was beat. So, you know how it goes. It's cool, I don't have sex with him anwyays!!!... anymore.
So after this, I wrote him a note like 6th period telling him that I like someone else.. even though I love him.. but I didn't want to tell him who. He knows, because he has suspected it before, and when I answered yes to both of his questions, "Is it someone I know?", and "Is it one of my friends?".. I'm pretty sure he figured it out.
Especially because he only has like, so many friends it could be.
Anyways... so.. eighth period.. Richie is like, "Did you break up with Cody?", and I was like, "I didn't even know we were going out, and if we were, I didn't break up with him, I wrote him a note saying I like someone else".. he knew it was Toby, because Crystal told him, and he mouthed it to me, and I was like "Yeah, I like toby, but I still love Cody" and then he was like, "Well, he wrote a note to Caitlin and asked her out".. so I was thinking, "okay great, Toby doesn't like me.. and he does like Caitlin, I knew it.." and I was all hurt-feelinged and stuff.
So I wrote Toby a note and gave it to Crystal to give it to him, and I felt like I was in fourth grade, but it was weird, because I couldn't talk to Toby, and I haven't all day, but Crystal said Toby read my note on the bus and got sad, because he said "I made it sound like he doesn't like me, and he does like me a lot"... and I'm starting to like Toby a lot, because I have fun with him, and he is soooo ncie to me ALL the time, and he makes me laugh... But I don't know what to do!! I seriously need help. What do you think? And when Crystal asked him about the note to Caitlin, he was like, "NO!?", so I don't know.
On the contrary, I had to work today. And tomorrow. Toby invited me to ride the bus home with them tomorrow, but I just found out today that I have to work.
Some man at work, who's name I forget, like loves me, so today, he told me he was going to adopt me, and from now on, I must call him "pap".. so, that's what his name is now, "pap."
Anyways, Cody called me while I was at work... or his mom did.. I don't know, it said I had a missed call from his house at 8:30, but when I called back at 9:30 and 10:30, there was no answer, so I dunno. On the phone after school today, he kept trying to get me to tell him who I liked.. but I wouldn't, because I felt weird.. and he's trying to make me feel weird, because I know he knows.
And.. I thought Richie was talking about Toby when he said "he wrote a note to Caitlin asking her out," but then I thought about it, and he could've meant Cody.. as in, Cody told him we broke up today, so he wrote her a note and asked her out. And I was real mad, so I asked Cody and he said he definitely didn't.. so.. I don't know what Richie was talking about now, I'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out...
Did Caitlin receive a note asking her out?
And if she did, was the note from Cody, or was the note from Toby???
We'll find out tomorrow, on the next update of woohu.com.
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2004 25 October :: 9.01 pm
:: Music: Rell, Consequence, Kanye West - Real Love
Come get this real love, you'll see I know just what you need
Well, yesterday I ended up going over to Crystal's and we chilled a while and did crazy things and had much fun.
I can't even begin to tell you anything about yesterday, it was just a day full of crazy.
We did, however, go to Brandon's birthday party.
And.. everyone fought with Cody all day because he was being an asshole to everyone.. AND he burned holes in TOBY'S shirt!!!!!
Arlie told Crystal, "i don't have a problem with you crystal, i just don't liek lisa"
...what the fuck?! i never ever even TALKED to that girl. it's cool, cause crystal tripped out, but i didnt even hear it.. atleast have the decency to say it to my face that you don't like me, you know? especially when i never did nothin' to you.
they all came up to me and asked me if i have a problem with caitlin, no.. i don't have a problem with her, i just don't like her, and she knows i don't, so the only reason i can even think of them bringing it up to me is if they were trying to start something, so whne they asked me, i was just like, "what the fuck ever, no, whatever, i don't care"
..Cause what? I don't have a problem with her. I don't liek her. There's reason for me to not liek her, and I don't. She knows I don't like her, and I shoudl HOPE she knwos why. If she don't then she's real dumb.
If I would've said that in the first place though, it just would've started a fight, and I was much too fucked up to be in any fight, so that was the last thing I wanted just then.
Anyways, so Arlie and Caitlin sat there and talked shit on me and Crystal the whole time. Which pissed me off, but I couldn't do ntohign about it, because I was already in the worst mood ever, and then ontop of that I was fucked up.
I want to go up to one of them in school and maybe tell them that. I shoudl ask them why they were talkin' shit.
Anyways, I went home around 8:00 yesterday and fell asleep after I spent an hour upstairs.
I woke up because Liz called my cell phone, and I didn't know what day it was, when I went to sleep, where I was waking up at, or anything. I was going to call Cody to wake him up because it was 6:20, but then I couldn't remember if we were fighting or not.
I got to school, and the only one I could talk to was Toby. So I talked to him in the morning and throughout the day I didn't talk to anyone.
At lunch, there was noone there, Crystal came in late, so she ended up being there, and Toby skipped his 5th period lunch to sit with us. Isn't he nice? He's the nicest person I ever met!
So after school I went home with Crystal and Toby, and Toby had to break in his house, because his mom and dad locked him out because they';re mad at him.
We all chilled down Crystal's and then Cody came.
Something was wrong with Cody. Finally he told us. He said that the Fayette City cops switched everything aroud and told his probation office that he had 50 grams of weed.
That's a lot of marijuana.. Cody definitely wasn't carrying all that pot around. So anyways, he's in a lot of trouble, basically because the cops lied.
He might get sent away again, and his mom is putting him in rehab.
Me, Cody, Crystal, and Toby all went for a walk in the woods.
We came out, and we saw Richie walking with Caitlin and Arlie.
Caitlin and Arlie walked home when we met Richie, and Richie came back to Crystal's house with us.
We all chilled and took walks and stuff.
Me, Crystal, Richie, and Toby all went for a walk through the field past the fence in the woods and sat there for a little bit, it was great fun... even though my butt got wet.
Me and Crystal went with the boys to Open Gym and just walked around the halls and stuff. hehe.
Then Mike dropped me off home, and I have to go to work tomorrow, so we'll just see what exciting things happen in the next couple days.
I'll write tomorrow or something liek that..
Peace. xoxo <3
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2004 23 October :: 10.31 am
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Kanye West - The New Workout Plan
Thanks to Kanye's Workout Plan, I'm the envy of all my friends!
Okay so, first of all, I fixed my computer, so now I can update all the time, just like I used to.
Well, it might not be JUST like I used to, because I have to work and stuff, and I'm not home a whole lot, but I'll do my best.
This weekend.. I went home with Cody on Friday and then we walked to Fayette City and met Toby. We sat at Toby's for a while, because noone was home, and then Richie and Tony came over. Toby and Richie started arguing and yelling at eachother and getting all fiesty. We walked down Crystal's in a little bit.
At Crystal's, we all stood out in the street waiting for our ride after we were all ready, and it was Kristin, Sonya, Richie, Crystal, and Tony in one car, and then Mike and Adam came and it was Mike, Adam, Cody, Me, and Toby in the other car.
We went to Mike's cousin's house in like California or something, and we chilled there for a while. His refridgerator was filled with nothing but alcohol: Miller High Life, Zima XXX, and uh, I forget what else was in there.
So, I was standing next to the pool table, and Mike handed me a Miller High Life, and I was like "no thanks, I don't drink", because I didn't plan on drinking, I don't really drink, you know? And then he was like, "Well, we have Zima.." and well, zima is my favorite drink, so I had one.
We all went in the basement and chilled, and Mike's cousin, Josh, showed us his special little hotbox place in his basement.. it was weird and the ceiling was low.
Anyways I had a couple more Zimas, and I was getting really tired.
We just chilled a while. I kinda fell asleep up against the wall next to all the coats, and sat in the middle of the living room and fell asleep, and then leaned up against Toby's chair and fell asleep... and everyone was just sitting around. Cody woke me up and said it was time to go home, so Kristin adn Sonya took me and him home, since Kristin wasn't drinking.
The next day, my mom picked me up and took me to work, and then after work I went back to Cody's.
I'm trying to remember what we did on Saturday. I don't think we did anything.. I got home late, and just went to bed.
On Sunday, we woke up and I went to the mall with Crystal.
Me and Crystal went to Uniontown mall and went to rue 21 and we bought all this stuff worth $40 for only $20 with these coupons she had.
After that, we ate McDonald's, and then I went back to Cody's to finish watching the Steeler's game.. and it was a good one.
After that, about 11:00, my mom picked me up. School this week was nothing special, I didn't do anything... I don't think.
Except on Tuesday, I went home with Cody, and then Toby picked us up and we all went to my house to get change, I gave them a whole bunch, and then I went to a doctor's appointment that I had. After that I went to work.
On Wednesday, me, Cody, Richie, and Toby all went to his house and did homework and then we went for a walk and chilled under some tree and then we and his mom took us over Toby's and we sat there a while and I watched everyone play foosball or whatever it's called. And we talked to Toby's mom for a little bit, but then she left, and we ate, and then Cody's mom picked me back up to take me back to his house, and then I walked to Tamika's and waited for her ride to get there and we went to Powderpuff practice. We were a little late, but it was fun. After that, we ate at Jake's and I had 8 pieces of pizza, haha. me and mary went to her house and then to charleroi after we picked up bud. we chilled in these peoples' house that weren't even home with some other people, and then she took me home.
on Thursday, I went to Cody's after school and he wasn't there, because he called me when I was on my way to his house and told me he would be 10 minutes, and to tell his mom he went down bubber's. I waited there for him for like an hour, and I got mad and walked away. He came back and looked for me and I got really real mad, and then.. I got over it.
Bubber and Shaun came over, adn we chilled in the garage. Me and Cody chilled a little bit, and then my mom came and took me home, I think. I don't really remember that, but I'm sure that's what happened, because how else would I get home?
Yesterday, Friday, I stayed after school for detention, and then went right from detention to work.
I worked with Jess, and we got off early, because it was slow.
After work, I went home and pretty much fell right asleep.
At like 1:30 in the morning, as I was sleeping, Cody calls me from Albaugh's cell and he said he's at Brunswick and asked if I could help him out by either letting him borrow some money, or if he could come in for a little bit.
Well, I didn't have any money, and he couldn't come in, so we hung up, because Josh's phone was dying... I felt a flashback. haha we used to do that shit liek 2 years ago.. wow.
Today I haven't done anything yet, but I am going to go to powderpuff, that's at 12. It's 11:20 now, so I think I should go get ready.
After that, I am going to call off work and tell them that I have the flu, because I don't have a ride.
After powderpuff, I think I am supposed to do something with Cody, Richie, adn Crystal.. so.. we'll see.. peace.
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2004 13 October :: 6.08 pm
:: Music: Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby
you'll always be a part of me..
i'm part of you indefinitely
boy don't you know you can't escape me
ooh darlin, cause you'll always be my baby
and we'll linger on.
time can't erase a feeling this strong.*
Okay so this weekend I was in Fayette City like everyday and slept at Cody's house every night.
On Saturday, we were all at the basketball courts.. and Crystal's little brother Josh was with us. Then.. all of a sudden these people pull in... two boys and a girl and they're all yelling and fighting and i wanted to punch this girl in her face soo bad cause she was yelling at toby.. but i didn't, because i didn't know if it was something legal or anything.. soo
then her and cody start fighting and i'm really gonna hit her because she said she was going to hit cody.. so i'm waiting for her to hit cody so she can get punched in the face, and cody's like, "go ahead, punch me.. see what happens.. don't think i won't smack a bitch"... with like an accent on "think" and "smack"..and he said it like "smack-a-bitch" (go ahead, say it aloud).. it was soo fucking hilarious, we all were cracking up.
Then they leave and she brings back her mom who settles everything and everyone is friends or something.. haha stupid crackhead girl.
so yeah.. uh.. on tuesday at work we had the Monessen Boys' soccer seniors who had a big party... haha they all made fun of me and stuff and asked for my number and bein' all gay.. so i ended up handing out my screenname.
Today, school was gay.. Cody wrote me some sad notes.. but everything's okay.. we're still nto going out, and this is my decision.
After school I got my permit and then I went over my sister's house and Justin came over and we worked on our Spanish thing a little bit.
I'm gonan go now though, it's waaayy too cold in here. I'll write later.. Peace.
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