�~[:.L.u.M.i.N.e.S.c.E.n.T.:]~�

:: 2004 15 February :: 1.45pm
:: Mood: indifferent
:: Music: Eve 6 .....

Sundays are always bad days...
I woke up at 8:45 this morning, which would usually be good.... except that I went to sleep at 2:30 last night. Yeah... something about these continuous nights of only 6 sleeping hours... just screwy.
Last night, Lacey got home at about 9:00 ... I guess CMR and GFH tied for first @ festival. Y'all should come to see the show on Tuesday.... well, actually... I might go Saturday (as you can see, yet to be determined). Jennie came over too, and we talked and talked and laughed and talked and carried on and finally went to sleep. As of now, my parents are still not home, for all we know they're still in Missoula. I haven't done anything today, other than messing around on the piano. This is bad, because BSA is today, and I haven't done anything in the past month for requirements... I feel kind of... yeah...
So, I feel like today is a pointless day... yup... just kind of... eh... do I sound hung over at all? I wouldn't know, I'm not a drunkard... but for all I know, I sound like some sort of freakish drunk man right now...
Oh... I'm thinking I should change my journal title. After all, I've written something for the two I've had/have. I'll have to think on it, I guess... but I'm getting tired of the quote from that poem... it was a crappy one anyways... and I'm getting tired of the color scheme... oh well...

2 left their imprint | leave your imprint?

:: 2004 15 February :: 5.25am
:: Mood: about to cry...irritated....angry....cold..tired
:: Music: Ataris - Boys of Summer, Finger 11...I like this band

Damn I suck.
I can finally get to Woohu so I am updating. Before my computer was in such a terrible state I could not even get to Internet Explorer at all, but Kyle (friend from Idaho) fixed it for me. Yah.

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I got to thinking about how terrible sleep is. More than 1/3 of your life is unaccounted for due to sleep. You can not tell what is going on. The thoughts you wish would forever vanish are suddenly thought of. It is a state similar to near death. Absolutely no control is granted. You just have to deal with sleep. Nothing will change it. The mere aspect of such a thing seemed horrendous. I would soon be leaving the world. I could die in my sleep and I would never know if I was still sleeping or not. Whenever I drift off, the next thing I know it is around 5, 8, 12 hours later. Sometimes I remember dreaming, but usually not. It seems as if my life just...disappears...

Today was good. I went to lunch with my mom and a few of her friends at Golden Corral. After, we roamed Market Place, saw Roxanne, my mom finally met hers. Then to Famous Footwear. I got some boots. Saw Ashley K. I hate her. Went to Petco to get pig vitamins. Saw Mishelle's dad but wasn't sure if it was him or not. Went to Barnes and Noble and looked a lot.

I did get to go to Kaylene's house. 'Twas fun, but everyone but me was hellishly late. Watched part of Encino Man (Damn Gwen!), The Excorsist, watched the phone be passed around of Nick...Gwen screamed alot. Watched a little Drumline then came home and I want to go to bed.

I better push enter while my computer is still alive.

6 left their imprint | leave your imprint?

:: 2004 14 February :: 1.00pm
:: Mood: reminiscent
:: Music: "So Like a Rose" - Garbage

memories
Ok, first off, before I get into the meat of this post, I'll give the outlook of the day: I'm home alone, possibly until tomorrow (shh! Don't tell now... can't have the parents mad at me for parties...) heh... like that would happen... anyways, I've got another pep band game to go to today; last one before state. And, my leg is about 5 times better than last night, but it still hurts like a MF...
So, the reason for this post. I kind of got into it yesterday, that all this talk about love and Valentine's day has got me thinking about the incident with Schylar last year. During part of all the fighting I mentioned a dream I had had about her... but I never had told anyone, just because it was somewhat special, and somewhat traumatic for me. And, Michelle's dream that she just had kind of reminds me of what had happened in mine. So.... I decided it would be good to finally share it.

This was during the month of May... I can't remember what day it was, I can't remember what exchanges had gone on between she and I before the dream... Anyways, I had put on my Garbage CD to fall asleep to, as I normally would every night. Well, it got to the last track, "So Like a Rose." I had fallen into that trance/half-awake half-not stage. Well, what I saw was just a pure black landscape... no walls, no floor, just a space. Then, Schylar appeared. I have no idea how I saw her, as there were absolutely no lights around, but she was there. She walked around for a bit, then she turned her back to me (She didn't actually know I was in the area)... She pulled out a knife and started to cut on her arms. Right away, I started yelling at her, begging her to stop. But as I tried to get to her, a wall of glass was in my way. I pounded and pounded, trying to get near, to hold her while blood flowed down her wrists...
Right at the guitar rift of the song, a crystal chair appeared right against the wall I was standing at. The space had begun to lighten, and I could start to see the walls and the floor. Schylar walked over and sat in the chair. Then, she took the knife and made one deep cut into her arms. I threw myself on the glass and just bawled as blood poured out of her arm and she fell limp. Finally I was able to open my eyes back in my room. As I lay trying to catch my breath, the last verse came up:
"Sleeping with ghosts is such a lonely experience.
The stars are out tonight. Only they can hear your breathing.
You're so like a rose, you're so like a rose, you're so like a rose,
I wish you could stay here."
I cried for a long time, and then finally fell asleep. After a while, I saw myself sitting in the darkness again. As I sat there, I looked up and saw a faint light moving towards me from above. A lady with graceful fairy came floating down, and after a while, I recognized her as Schylar. She looked so different... She was silvery, like the moon would be... She looked so... well, It was her, but it wasn't. She was taller, and much differently built. She gave me a sad smile and said, "Everything will be all right." Then she turned and slowly flew away. I just sat there in the dark and tried to understand what had happened.

That's what I can remember. I don't know... It was really hard, and for the next few weeks, every time Schylar was gone I thought she had done it... I was just so fucking paranoid. And then I screwed it all up anyways. Oh well, it seems she's happy now. Time heals all wounds. Fuck no... wounds won't be healed. There will always be scars, but we can always say they were meant to be. We can always say there was a story. We can always hold a meaning for them.

chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 14 February :: 12.24am
:: Mood: sad...again
:: Music: bittersweet symphony

mrs. beall and other stuff
i came home from spending the morning with my sister and i spent like 3 hours on the internet being bored cause noone was home. i love vacation. i get to sit home alone and do whatever i want. i often spend several minutes beating the shit out of my bunching bag while screaming stuff at it that deal with people i hate. or sometimes i scream stuff that has happened and what i should have done if i embarrassed myself. my favorite subjects are sarah,stephanie or lynn and miss doherty. usually i ask the punching bag if it would "like another barrido" oo thats fun. then i say "fuck you" several times. its really weird but really really fun and painfull. someday i know i'm gonna break or sprain my wrist or arm on it. oh well it will be worth the pain.
i briefly mentioned mrs. beall (bell) , louises grandma, in my last entry. i feel like talking about her again. shes such a wonderfull lady. when i took my highschool test she dropped off louise and i said "hi mrs. beall" and she said "oh hi marilyn" and gave me a hug. i wish she was my grandma. she gave me birthday cards and a first communion present. i really appreciated it but i dont think i've ever told her. i've never taken the time to tell her that shes like a grandma to me and now i feel so bad. i mean she might die soon and i havent been as nice as i could have. i always said thank you and stuff but i never listened to her when she was telling stories or something which was rare but did happen. i spent a lot of time at her house when i was little cause louise has been my friend since kindergarten and we always had to go to her house cause we were too young to be home alone when my sisters did stuff. besides, (comma mistake i think) we always had more fun at her house. her back yard is really big and there was always something to get into. mrs. beall never said no to me when we asked if i could go over. shes watched all her grandchildren and opened her house to louise's aunts and uncles to live in. she has such a big heart...i dont think there is one bad thing about her. i'm going to cry so much when she dies. if you believe in god even a little bit please pray for her. i've seen 2 people die of cancer in the past year who i loved a lot..i dont think i can bear to see a 3rd one die.

oo more complaining. i hate my dads side of the family. i have an aunt marion who isnt even 1% italian but she acts as though she is. at my sisters wedding, my aunt maries funeral, and even the after buriel lunch for my aunt marie she wouldnt fuckin shut up about food! i mean she'll talk about every fuckin restaraunt in morgan hill (where she lives) if you give her time. she talks about food while your eating. she talks about it when your crying or something. its like dude is that all you fuckin think about??? if she were so old and a family member i'd tell her to shut the fuck up. i swear she will tie food into just about anything she can. sad? eat a cookie. "no you have to go the restaurant down on.... cause they make the best..." i hate her so much.
i feel like i'll never shut up....sorry. i was thinking last night when i couldnt fall asleep even though i was really tired. i was thinking about being shy. pretty random to be thinking about when youre tired. i dont like being shy. i often wonder how people arent shy. they just say anything and people dont think they are weird and most people like them. i came to the conclusion i'm afraid of rejection. it seems like i dont really have anything to say to people i dont see everyday cause i dont know how they will react to what i say. i tend to be fairly sarcastic and random and i think some people dont realize that so they think i'm being rude or dumb. a lot of my randomness is dumb and a lot of my sarcasm could be taken meanly. i dont mean to but i was raised that way. then there are people who are mean that have made me scared to be myself. on the internet i say stuff really weird stuff and then people dont know how to react to it cause they dont really know me. i feel so dumb when that happens cause people will put the generic "o" or "yea" or soemthing. in situations where i'm right there to hear the persons criticism i really hate that. so i guess i deal with it by preventing it. i admit it..i hate being criticized unless i ask for it. i dont like people who will just say "you know that really good but....". i want to beat them and say "you know what? i never fuckin asked you to give me your input so shut up" unless its in math or science. people can tell me what i'm doing wrong all day in either one of those and i wont get mad or sometimes writing. not poems though. my poems are mine and as far as i'm concerned nobody has to read them if they are going to be mean. i hate mean people. i am one sometimes. i guess i hate myself occasionaly. well i think everyone does.
ruben likes nicole, that slut girl i dont like. she likes craig and ruben. stupidass. i guess i'm kinda jealous cause i USED to like ruben. i hate his name though. its really ugly. (sorry to anyone who likes that name) heres his profile:i love my baby:-! o u can call me co co! hahaha
"co co" part refering to the last part of her sn. i just helped her get a picture of craig and then she doesnt care and likes ruben! THAT WASNT SO NICE! her dog looks like my dog. thats random.
i'm tired. bye

3 left their imprint | leave your imprint?

:: 2004 13 February :: 10.40pm
:: Mood: kind of happy
:: Music: "Cup of Coffee" - Garbage

Happy Friday the 13th!!
Yeah... I'd rather celebrate these days... I got more hugs than I would for Valentine's... always better... grr commercialization.
Anyways... English: after getting a "Your crush sent you a Crush" message, we all had a big discussion on whether or not Valentine's should be allowed in school...Well, towards the end, after all the arguments, I said, "See, this is why frienship really is better. Friendship can be messy, and honestly, I find it the bigger heartbreaker in the end. Love is too complicated and imperfect to deal with right now."
So, Sarah L. says, "Nick, turn and look at me. Ok, now you know you can't go through the rest of your life avoiding love. You think you can get away from it all, just because you don't want to get hurt. What kind of life is that?"
I laughed histerically at that comment. However, for the rest of the class and the few minutes afterwards, I was thinking about what happened between Schylar and I last year. I still can't figure out how it happened, but it did, and I was an ass... but fuck! I left English ready to cry... really not like me... Ironic part: Sarah L. sent me the Crush so I'd be happy on Vday...
Bio: Davis was boiling cabbage during class (foundations is doing pH) ... we talked about inheritance again... jarrod.... eee... Math: we had a sub, we did more fractional problems... nothing special...
Lunch: we got a pizza party for the team (yes, folks, here at CMR, we have one freshmen team, and I just happen to be a leader... huzzah!!) I had 4 pieces, which is a lot more lunch than normal. In the back corner we talked about abortion and gay rights (go democrats) ... and Allie flirted with me in front of her boyfriend. Which reminds me: she came in this morning crying because she couldn't talk to him on the phone last night... WTF?!?!
History: apparantly, the movie on Rasputen we were supposed to watch had terrible tracking, so instead we watched Anastasia (maniacal laughter) ... yeah, really historically incorrect, but Dacia, Sarah M. and I sat in the back singing along. Nick (other Nick... Gee, there certainly are a lot of Nicks... I think I better murder a few to feel more unique...) was watching us and laughing... sadly kids, I'm crushing on a kid with my same name... and Nicole, the Carmen of my Spanish class... Band:hmmm... I don't really remember band... oh yes!! Kellogg showed off all the computer programs we got this year for manuscript and accompaniment. Spanish: finished Sweet 15... I didn't pay attention... I'll be screwed 6 points Monday... big whoop... P.E.: after running around for 10 minutes (along with Chanteur coming around, delivering singing Valentine's to our sweaty bodies...) we went down to play dodge ball on a small court (the bleachers were pulled out for the game tonight)... well, on the first death rush (the time when you rush to the center to get the first ball) Mark Rassmussen slide-tackled me... He's not even in soccer. Anyways, the bastard left a welt that's about the width of a fist right now... Fuck it hurts! After school, let's see... Alisa was all *cry cry* because Kelsey and Jasmine were mad at her (Kelsey: Alisa was w/ her BF; Jasmine: Alisa talks to boys while going out) so... after school was rather boring today...
Came home, tried to update all this, but my mom came down in the middle of it all, and thus, I closed out of the Internet, as I'd like her to not know what's happening in my life... yeah, the whole, I'm really an ass and I'm bi doesn't exactly work to gain family support...
Went to the game tonight. The girls lost by 2 points.. sad sad... we played rather well.. happy happy.. we heard the boys took Eastern Conference... happy happy... the drill team did not do so well tonight ... sad sad... and that was my bipolar moment (see, I was given a Grumpy Bear and Sunshine Bear Valentine today... major sign of the happy/sad syndrome... no not really... but I've always called it that...) ... Drew was cute tonight... mmm... saxaphone player...
OH!!!! AAAND!!! I heard on the radio this morning that Garbage's new CD is coming out this spring... Marilyn Manson and... someone else helped produced this one... yay!!!!!

chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 13 February :: 7.16pm

a little survey:

Basics
Name:: Marilyn
Birthplace:: California
Birthdate:: 5/21/90
Current City of Residence:: San Jose
Family Members:: Parents, 4 older sisters
Favorites
Color:: blue
Beverage:: diet coke
Movie:: billy elliot
Musical:: top hat,white tails (i thinks thats what its called)
Board Game:: i dont play them
Computer Game:: i dont play them either
Game to Roleplay:: what?
Animal:: chickens and roosters
Sport:: baseball
Book:: i dont usually read but...anything that will make me cry
A Day In The Life..
School:: i dont get it
Typical Mood:: cheerful or sad
Usually Found?:: on a chair
Collects:: random stuff
Have You Ever
Been kissed:: nopers
Done drugs:: oh yea i'm always doing drugs! no
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: unfortunatly and now i hate them
Eaten sushi:: no and i dont plan on it
Been on stage:: uh...kinda but i want to more
Been in a car accident:: no
This or That
Cold or Hot:: hot
Blue or Red:: blue
Rain or Snow:: RAIN!
Wool or Cotton:: cotton
Private or Public School:: private..sorry
Chocolate or Plain Milk:: depends..
Celsius or Farenheit:: faranheit
Spring or Fall:: fall
Science or History:: history
Math or English:: english
"Love Life"
Do you like somebody?:: yup, several people
Do they know?:: one does
Do you want them?:: ? uh..yup i guess i do
Are they hot?:: yea
Random
Who do you e-mail the most?: louise
Who do you IM the most?: jessica
Who are you talking to now?:: jessica
Are you currently in love?:: no
Is this survey lame?:: i suppose so (billy elliot moment)
Isn't bzoink! nifty? =) :: no
In 24 hours have you...
...Showered?:: yup
...Had a serious talk?:: no
...Hugged someone?:: yup
...Gotten along with your parents?:: yup
...Fought with a friend?:: no but i was annoyed
...Done something kind for someone?: yes
Do You Like To...
Give hugs?:: YUP! HUGS ARE GOOD
Give back rubs?:: no
Take walks in the rain?:: yea..without an umbrella or rain stuff
Cook?:: sure
Eat?:: of course
Sleep?:: sometimes
Who..?
..Knows you the best?:: my sister
..Have you known the longest?:: louise
..Do you know the most about?:: louise
..Do you consider your friend?:: people but i dont feel like writing the names
..Is most likely to end up in jail?:: stephanie
..Can you go to with your problems?:: louise or jessica
..Do you want to get to know better?:: hmm...i dont know
..Do you spend the most time with?:: people at school
Have You...
..Been to a concert?:: nopers
..Loved someone so much it made you cry?:: yes..bek aka justin when he graduated last year
..Cheated on a test?:: yup
..Ever stalked someone?:: yes..bek again
..Done something you regret?:: hasnt everyone?
..Been in an online relationship?:: yup for like 2 days and it was really dumb
Random Questions
Single or Hooked?:: single
What is your worst habit?:: biting my nails
Scariest moment?:: almost drowning in the ocean
Do you swear too much?:: yup
How do you feel about homosexuality?:: i have no problems with it. =)
Where are you right now?:: at home in front of the computer
Are you sitting by anyone?:: no
What song are you listening to?:: i'm enjoying a silent house
What is the last thing you said?:: "lol sorry"
What's on your mousepad?:: a mouse..ooh this weird animal thing
What are the last four digits of your phone number?:: i'm not saying
What was the last thing you ate?:: ice cream
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?:: red
How many buddies do you have on your list?:: 114
What's the weather like right now?:: half cloudy half sunny and windy
What do you feel like doing?:: going to sleep or watching pearl harbor..again
What is your favorite quote?:: "i'm gonna beat you"

Lame-Stupid-Random Survey brought to you by BZOINK!

while i was at ccd on wednesday i was playing with a safety pin and was scratching my thumb and i scratched once really hard by accident and it really hurts so i'm complaining.
last time i wrote i said that kyle isnt hot. well something about him is and i lied last time cause i was embarrassed.
just now louise told me that her grandma could be sick with breast cancer. i really like her cause she was kinda like my grandma in a way. i really am going to miss her if she dies.
bye

leave your imprint?

4 left their imprint | leave your imprint?

:: 2004 13 February :: 6.52pm
:: Mood: jammin' ^_^
:: Music: Green Day - When I come around...AFI - Morningstar

Happy Friday the 13th!!!!
Today was surprisingly good. I did not bite ANYONE'S head off. Be proud of me. Not even Andrew Wareheim when he was bugging me, Christie, and Annie and saying something stupid about Halloween.

It was weird. This morning I was listening to music and I had a sudden happy spurt just thinking back of Warped and the excitement. Maybe that is why I was so happy. It never died.

Later in English I was very strongly reminded of Nick by the way Kyle said something.....I was freaked out. Maybe it was just the gay peeking out like it does from both of them....O_o.....dunno.

My leg hurts. Mishelle kicked me. Ow.

LoupGarou

:: 2004 13 February :: 1.07pm
:: Music: New York, New York - Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennet

Listening to this song makes me want to go back to New York or San Francisco.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day! Not like I care all that much *sniffle* I'm all alone anyway.
hee hee it doesn't matter. I wouldn't care if I had someone to give a Valentine to or not.
You know, I'm looking at this map and if you look at the Mississippi River, it has a heck of a lot of twists and turns. Seriously, go look!
Oh, and did you know that technically if you go to Alaska and took a plane to Russia it would only be about fifty miles away through the Bering Strait? IT'S AMAZING! Simply fantastic! Then all you would have to do is take a plane from Uelen, Russia down to Petropavlovsk-Kamchatskiy, Russia. From there you would travel to Tokyo, Japan!
That's right, people! I am a super-genius! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
Okay, not really.

Hmmm, what is there to talk about? Well, today is the beginning of lovely vacation! Am I going to do anything special? NOT AT ALL!
Just going to sit here, sleep in, and be lazy like I am so good at doing during vacations.

I lost the notebook with all the character names for my story. I know the names of the main characters and all, but people like the alpha male and female of Kerry's pack were in there and I can't remember their names *frowns*. I don't know where it could have gone. Last time I saw it it was by the computer, and I checked my room, my closet, the drawers in my desk, etc. Just wait. Later it will turn up in some completely obvious place. O_o

You know what pisses me off? When people go and make fun of people for things they can't help or they can't change. For example, there's this really nice guy named Kyle in my class. He isn't bad looking or anything, in fact I think he's very good-looking. But he has had a problem all his life. When he was a baby he was born with his upper lip folded upward, attached near the area where his nose begins. I think we all started that way, which is how we get that little dent on the skin between the nose and the upper lip, but Kyle's lip never got itself fixed and when he was born, his lip was still attached. They cut off the part that was attached because I guess if it stayed that way when he got older he could get diseases and sicknesses easier. So now he has what I believe it called a "cleft lip" ot something. It looks nothing like a cleft chin, don't worry. It just looks like a piece of his lip was cut off neatly, leaving an indentation where the problem once was. People who have been in his class for years and have known him for long have grown used to it and learned to look past it. But now I am told that not all people want to except he's different. Some heartless bitches make fun of it and it makes me so mad I could slap them. He can't help something like that! And imagine all the looks he is given when he goes places in public, all the looks and whispers he's recieved all his life. It must be hard on him. He never shows it, but it must be. And I hope all of those that have mercilessly talked about him behind his back because of that small deformity can understand how it feels. Because I know for a fact that those people who do that aren't perfect. They need a harsh slap of reality if they think they're better than him just because they don't have that problem.
It makes me sick.

Here's another survey because I couldn't think of anything else to put:

Basics
Name:: Jessica
Birthplace:: California
Birthdate:: 12/23/89
Current City of Residence:: My Happy place
Family Members:: Mom and Dad and a younger sister
Favorites
Color:: black
Beverage:: coke
Movie:: the Lotr series, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Secret Garden ^_^
Musical:: grease?
Board Game:: Life
Computer Game:: I don't play computer games
Game to Roleplay:: .... I roleplay my own games. lol
Animal:: wolf
Sport:: swimming
Book:: Blood and Chocolate
A Day In The Life..
School:: it'd good enough
Typical Mood:: either genuinely cheerful or pretending to be.
Usually Found?:: in front of the computer or in the shade away from the sun. tee hee.
Collects:: anime and mangas
Have You Ever
Been kissed:: not really
Done drugs:: nope!
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: uh uh
Eaten sushi:: yep!
Been on stage:: why yes I have
Been in a car accident:: small ones
This or That
Cold or Hot:: cold
Blue or Red:: blue
Rain or Snow:: rain definitely
Wool or Cotton:: cotton I guess
Private or Public School:: private only because I go to one
Chocolate or Plain Milk:: either
Celsius or Farenheit:: farenheit
Spring or Fall:: fall
Science or History:: history
Math or English:: english
"Love Life"
Do you like somebody?:: not really
Do they know?:: nope
Do you want them?:: not all that much
Are they hot?:: sure
Random
Who do you e-mail the most?: no idea
Who do you IM the most?: Marilyn or JDawgII ^_^
Who are you talking to now?:: Marilyn
Are you currently in love?:: nope
Is this survey lame?:: It is now that you said that
Isn't bzoink! nifty? =) :: yep now it's definitely lame
In 24 hours have you...
...Showered?:: yep
...Had a serious talk?:: yep
...Hugged someone?:: i think so
...Gotten along with your parents?:: yesh
...Fought with a friend?:: no
...Done something kind for someone?: i think so.... *ponders*... I hope so
Do You Like To...
Give hugs?:: only to certain people.
Give back rubs?:: no
Take walks in the rain?:: yes!
Cook?:: don't know. I don't do it very often
Eat?:: food is good
Sleep?:: I dont like to go to bed before midnight usually but I like sleeping in late.
Who..?
..Knows you the best?:: Julie
..Have you known the longest?:: Bryce
..Do you know the most about?:: Stephanie
..Do you consider your friend?:: a lot of people: marilyn, louise, julie, ashleigh, etc, etc....
..Is most likely to end up in jail?:: Stephanie
..Can you go to with your problems?:: Julie, Marilyn or Louise.
..Do you want to get to know better?:: JDawgII (lol)
..Do you spend the most time with?:: Marilyn and Louise
Have You...
..Been to a concert?:: no *sobs*
..Loved someone so much it made you cry?:: yes... in the 3rd grade... LEAVE ME ALONE!
..Cheated on a test?:: not that I can remember
..Ever stalked someone?:: dont know. If I did I dont remember it.
..Done something you regret?:: yes. Hasn't everyone?
..Been in an online relationship?:: yeah but it was dumb.
Random Questions
Single or Hooked?:: single
What is your worst habit?:: biting my nails and saying "oooo" too much online.
Scariest moment?:: When I heard my cousin was hit by a car and that he didn't have much of a chance of living.
Do you swear too much?:: sometimes
How do you feel about homosexuality?:: I'm more open about gay guys than I am about lesbians, but I don't DISLIKE lesbians I guess, it just makes me a bit uncomfortable.
Where are you right now?:: in my dad's office at home
Are you sitting by anyone?:: no
What song are you listening to?:: Simple and Clean by Utada Hikaru (english version)
What is the last thing you said?:: online? Online I said "that's ok"
What's on your mousepad?:: I don't have a mousepad. I'm typing this on a laptop.
What are the last four digits of your phone number?:: 9904
What was the last thing you ate?:: I'm thinking it was Nerds
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?:: black, well, I'd like to be that color.
How many buddies do you have on your list?:: 104
What's the weather like right now?:: cloudy and windy ^_^
What do you feel like doing?:: sleeping or just sitting
What is your favorite quote?:: "Don't sweat petty things. Don't pet sweaty things."

Lame-Stupid-Random Survey brought to you by BZOINK!

Bye bye now!

7 left their imprint | leave your imprint?

:: 2004 12 April :: 7.07pm
:: Mood: annoyed @ piano
:: Music: Well Tempered Clavicord (Bach)

I have too much homework to update...
This is the longest I've ever been at school before (as far as I'm aware). I got to school at 7:00 this morning and didn't leave until 5:00 tonight... long day. So, when I got to school, I finished my math homework, walked around, did nothing special. English: We finished our movie (Amanda was swooning over Gary Sinise yesterday...), and then talked politics w/ Mr. Meridith... I really could care less about the election right now, other than hoping for a Democrat in office (pro abortion & gay rights!!). Biology: We talked about mutations today (again, an easy, but useful, class)... Jarrod sits next to me right now ::drool::... Jarrod's on my futsal team ::drool:: ... Jarrod's in my gym class ::drool:: ... I'm standing in a puddle of saliva.... Math: Fractional equations today... yeah... just peachy there... Lunch: A very happening time. I had Alisa divorce Jasmine and I. She accused me of sleeping with the milk man, so I accused her of sleeping with the maid next door. So, even though I gave birth to her kids (along with me still carrying Rachel's, who just happens to be in Cali right now...) we've divorced. Naturally, I married the babysitter (Shawna) on the rebound, even though Jasmine and I still have our late nights together. Now THERE'S a story I've just been waiting to tell!! Moving on... in History: our sub (wish I could remember her name, because she's such a pessimist... it's awesome) had us all teach the class on some *special part* of WWI... Our group got the Treaty of Versailles (I hate the French and their superfluous use of letters...). So, as my partners sat around playing ... well, I don't even know what they were playing ... I did the whole thing. Yay me. Go me. **shake yo ass, watch yoself** ... Mistikal moment... Band: We got lessons on manuscripting today, something we *must know* by the end of the year **insert eyeroll** .... Spanish: we worked on posters today... yes, we're supposed to make a poster to represent one of the expressions that we were taught throughout the year... sadly I can't remember which one I picked... Then, in Health: more work w/ the computer on the *how unhealthy EXACTLY are you??* program... I did fine, except that the eggs that I had one day put me up 400% on cholesterol... actually, with the way their calories worked, compared to what I eat, it would be more like 800%... that's health for you. I'll either die of that or overdose of vitamins... whatever...
Afterschool I went to my sound crew meeting, which lasted all of thirty seconds... I'll either be a gunshot or pounding... thank you Bergquist... then, I sat around and talked w/ Alisa and Kelsey and entourage... sadly, Lucian was not around to pay me back today... The girls think I'm going to get $1's worth of raping from him instead...
So... I've got a game in roughly 45min., so I best be going kids. Buhbye!

:: 2004 12 February :: 7.01pm
:: Mood: fuck off.
:: Music: Eminem - Sing for the moment and Drop Deadications

Stupid fucking Catholics
I screamed at the top of my lungs this morning to calm myself from killing my "family".
Then, I was brought to tears 3 minutes before I had to leave for school. I quickly had to dry my tears, fix my makeup, and put on a happy face. My happy face went away within a minute, when I went downstairs, because the stupid little people were intentionally pissing me off again. So it was more of an angry face all day.

Drama. First Brittney Kelley was off getting candy so our group could not start for 10 minutes. Shaun left to go to Becca. Brittney came back and went off talking to Jill or someone. Shawn did not want to come back. We got Brittney back, dragged Shawn back, and demanded that they work. Shawn decided to act hungover and stupid or something and Roxanne and I quit. Suddenly Brittney "Decided" to work, and said that WE were stupid and not working and making the group terrible or something. I was about to fucking punch her with the mood I was in. Then someone ran to Theil. We need to work out our differences because we can not only work with who we want. That was all she said.

Math: mathish and not too bad

English: we listened to Odyssey on tape. The guy sucked at reading. Not too bad.

Social Studies: We had a fucking sub I absolutely hated. I sit in the front and he kept looking at me like I was stupid or something. Then I was the first done with my quiz and handed it in. He looked disbelieving and said "There IS a back." "Yah...your point?" was my response. I was also one of the first actually done with homework and just kept staring at me as I sat there and read my book. Then a chick brought him food, so he was eating Dorritos very loudly and chugging a soda. I was annoyed.

lunch was loud.

Choir people are stupid and I did not have the energy to sing high so I was flat on one song. There are a total of 4 altos I can actually hear that do not sing soprano and hit right notes.

Science: I have been cynical latey..... But Andrew Wareheim was about to die. I got a hundred on the stupid quiz we took today.

Gym: 300 yard dash......Like I said I did not have energy today. My legs began to hurt and I twisted my ankle. I think my energy went away with my screaming all day.

I got invited to a banquet thing for my "academic achievements". Students only. I hope more people I know got one too.

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:: 2004 11 February :: 12.34am
:: Mood: tired... as life has selected
:: Music: "Over the Edge" - BallyRag

woohu! very little homework...
English started the day with extention of movie day. Notti was gone, so Crawford (ex-health student teacher) was subbing again. Biology: sex related traits/diseases, along with mutation. It's the only class that makes some sort of value in my day now, simply because we actually THINK in that class... Math: MORE percentage problems... McLean is so freaking busy with basketball schedualling/ reservations for his team that we get absolutely nothing done... Lunch: um... what did I do...? I don't know... nothing too special... maybe, got a drink? yup, that would be about it. History: more talks of the -isms of WWI (joy0) ... Band: we got yet another piece today, which means we have 8 (maybe?) ... I don't know... we have a concert sometime, and Kellogg hasn't decided what he's using, but he's using something. Spanish: we were conjugating today... joy joy... and P.E.: we ran and ran and ran, and then they had *team captains* choose sides for dodge ball... what a pointless game. Get the two popular kids who have no reason of wanting to win select teams, and it's all screwed over after that.
Anyways, as always afterschool is when the real party begins. First, Sprinkles gave me Alisa's heart(s) ehheh... then we all just sat around and talked (yeah, I know, really exciting) ... anyways, then, *can't remember her name* asks if I have a dollar, and I say, "sorry, but I really don't carry money, but I'd take it out of my account for you." and she's all, "really?!" I say yeah. Then Lucian asked if I'd get a dollar for him and I'm just whatever at this point (do I sound at all drunk at the moment?) anyways, the girl didn't use the dollar, so I bought a Sprite... but I was jipped by Lucian... I'll get repayed... I just don't know when or how (hehehehe) anywho... went to church... nothing special... I've decided on agnostic for my religion right now... yay... I'm tired. Bye kids. Watch out for the large-boobed possible murderer... actually, only I need to watch out... she only wants to hurt me. So I'll say to her "Touch-a-touch-a-touch-a-touch me!!! I wanna be DIRRRRTY!!!"

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chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 12 February :: 12.18am

ok short entry tonight cause i gotta a paper to write and its 9:00 but i need a break.
today i discovered i still like kyle. yup gross but i cant help it. i mean hes ugly but i like him for his personallity. today, as we were walking out of science class, he said "marilyn." and i said "yea" then he said "our lab notebooks weren't due today" and i kinda half laughed and said "i know i'm sorry" then he said "its ok" and he walked away. big conversation. lol. anyway the reason he said that was cause i thought they were due so i ran out of the science lab cause i didnt do mine and pretended not to be done with my test and i guess he didnt finish his either.
so i talked to sean today and told him some bad stuff about stephanie but apparently he doesnt care. stupidass. someday he'll realize that hes wrong when hes upset cause she broke up with him cause hes boring or something. well i think hes really nice still but i dont like him as much as i used to.
Cherrylicious451: marilyn why would he be pissed at u if he dodnt want u to be pissed at him lol
see thats the improper grammar shit that i hate.
thats about everything important that happened today. bye