HeAD RusH

HeAD RusH

:: 2002 2 December :: 9.18pm

"so sick so sick of being tired and oh so tired of being sick..."

yeah. I am sick.

Sick of it all, physically sick, emotionally sick, think it? I've got it :0P

Thanksgiving was nice. I got to see Kevy Wed from 1-4am :0) Good times.. drove up to Disney around 3 on Thanksgiving day.. let me tell you, cruise control is the greatest invention known to man :0P I felt like I was steering in a video game the whole way up. Disney was a lot of fun. I'm a chicken shit & couldn't think of anything to say to a cute boy that was smiling at me... grr. ummm went to see Cirque du Soleil.. excellent show, highly recommended :0) that was Fri night.. Sat night I watched the chorus sing @ the candlelight thing & then went 2 see Sevendust which was excellent also. Just relaxed cept it was freezing and I got sick :0(

I came back to several missed calls from Shane which I found peculiar. I found out some interesting info bout him 2day which I won't publically share cuz I may offend some people or something... eh

Thursday I leave for the Festival of Winds in Tampa.. good thing I haven't gotten the audition music yet.... wonderful lol O well.. guess i'll just hafta wing it :0P actually thats really not cool at all.

I really wanted to go ice skating w/(him) this Friday... but then again is that really a reality? no. I don't think i'll let it become reality again. One chance allotted, one chance blown. I shouldn't have to settle for less. I swear (they're) plotting against me... i'm getting awfully suspicious... they've been really buddy buddy & practically blackmailing eachother through me which is weird. very weird.

Thought of the day ~ Love sucks, you're better off w/o it... don't listen to all that shit " better to have lost a love then to have never loved at all" its shit. You'd proly b happier if you never had to put up w/any of that shit. Thats it.

18 days till my bday!

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plainmornings

:: 2002 27 November :: 6.19pm

my pic for the day.. just cuz hes sexy lol

this is me & Jessica (twister10) shes the one that brings to us all the fabulous IB/band quizzes heh

Kevy comes home to me in 6hrs!!!! the to Dennys and beach for us :0P I've missed him soooooooooooooooo much :0( tomorrow morning I leave. Joy.. maybe i'll meet a really cute boy up there heh (can't hate me for hopin eh?) who knows...

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plainmornings

:: 2002 26 November :: 11.22pm

This is what I got :0) Of course i'm not like completely obsessed but duh.. sexy Sergeant Vivi and all I gota luv band a little :0P

What type of a Bando are you?

this on the other hand is the fucking funniest thing i've ever seen in my whole entire freaking life Jess... lol

Oh yeah... props 2 Jessie ehh Twister10 for making this incredible quiz :0P

For those of you who don't know... the guy in the anti bando pic is one of our drummers, Ian lol

What type of a Bando are you?

'

JESSIE ROX MY SOX! <3

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plainmornings

:: 2002 26 November :: 6.41pm

yeah so i'm sick.

got in a big fight w/my mom last night & she told me she hated me. Wonderful.

On a better note.... Sara B. & I fucking ROCK!!!! ahha Sara won tickets 2 the Ataris show off the radio & requested Coheed & Cambria.. she told me this & I called in & requested Brand New & the guys were really cool... the guy started flipping out & was all like "omg 2 callers in a row requesting 2 of my favorite bands, Brand New & Coheed & Cambria!" I actually finished the Cambria cuz DUH i knew that Sara just called lol He was all like " so you two are in the same house huh? and i ws like "no, she just told me that she won tickets" to which he asked me if i wanted tickets and my idiot mouth said "i'm not guna b in town" grrr... anyways they were all like " hey, we're guna go on air" to which i was like "NOOOO!!!" haha next thing i know i'm on air & we're talking & hes all like "you should go 2 the Cru Jones show tonight up @ Spankys" to which I was like "thats right, Cru Jones is playing tonight" to which he was like "you know who Cru Jones is?" and i was like "yeah, they played @ the Jim Bob Accessory Fest w/my friends' band" to which they asked me what my friends band was and i responded "Drowning Ophelia, they rock!" haha

it rocked really hard... made my day a lot better... next week Sara & I r guna win TBS tickets!!!! w00t w00t!!!!!

okay. Kevy comes home 2 me 2morrow night & I leave Thurs for Disney soooo I proly won't post again till Sun...

Have a good Turkey Day everyone <3

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plainmornings

:: 2002 25 November :: 4.21pm

for Spud-tacular :0P

Snare line practicing...

battery b4 the game.. ( yes i'm very well aware our uniforms look dumb lol)

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plainmornings

:: 2002 24 November :: 8.48pm

these would be some of the beloved drummers lol Drewski wanted 2 put it as his pic thing but I don't think he'll be able to shrink it small enough soooooo here they are :0) I"ll proly post more pics later <3

Today I began to live again.

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plainmornings

:: 2002 23 November :: 5.57pm
:: Music: Brand New

I'm guna seee BRAND NEW & THE MOVIELIFE TONIGHT!!!!!!

Twister 10: I think I shall dub this whole situation as "Gunneson's Online Diary War"
Twister 10: ...wow, the GOD war for short.
Twister 10: Mhm...does this mean Andy = god?
picsxstarsxdream: lol
picsxstarsxdream: thats sooo great
Twister 10: ::bows::

picsxstarsxdream: does sloppy handwriting turn you on? lol
exitboot: Yep.
exitboot: no skills in writing.. they place it elsewhere?
picsxstarsxdream: lol like in bed :0P
exitboot: Yep.
exitboot: Or hand jobs.. whatever

exitboot: So does she like me?
picsxstarsxdream: why are you guna stalk her?
picsxstarsxdream: :0P
exitboot: lol

Ready..Aim..

losttt

:: 2002 23 November :: 5.00pm

your quest for fame
will become your claim to shame
your hunger for popularity
will strip you of all clarity
and leave you solitary.

3 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

plainmornings

:: 2002 22 November :: 11.22pm

so yeah. we won. 13-7 ATL vs McArthur which means we advance to the state semi finals??

Tonight was the worst night I've had in a while... I seriously had an emotional break down in the stands... just soo much is going wrong right now and i have so much shit just pent up inside of me... I fucking hate boys. Thats it... its just all tumbled down hill... first with Chris then Troy then Shane and now Matt... what the fuck.. i've probably got to have the worst luck in the world with guys... Chris is barely talking to me.. he saw Shane and I kissing and got really really pissed off for what reason who knows... My relationship with Troy has completely deteriorated... What happened with Troy is happening now with Shane.. cept i think i'm in Troys place and Shanes acting like me which sux cuz i'm stubborn and welll yeah... it pisses me off that Shanes with Sam now.. ehh not pisses me off cuz i realize now that i shouldn't have even touched that one but i don't know... its just fucked up how he was all like " i liked you so much blah blah blah" and now its like i don't even exist.. i fucking hate people that lie. Matt... i don't know.. tonight, yesterday.. everythings soo fucked up.

Right now I just wish Kevy was here... when i was flipping out thats all I could think of.. how much I just wanted to be walking to Starbucks w/him & just venting. Everything is falling apart all around me and I can't do a damn thing...

oh.. another bad note... many of you may know him as Jenn's man... Donald Sprenkel #45 was injured tonight :0( He really fucked up his knee bad... Jenn was sooo upset and I was all upset and we sat there and cried together. I feel soo bad 4 him.. this completely ruins all of his football oppurtunities... the bitch was good too! So yeah.. we may not win next week because he is one of our important players.. joy.

5 days till I get my Kevy back ...

10 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

losttt

:: 2002 21 November :: 9.26pm

Shades of crimson divinty swirl about my starry gaze. And in the light, as transparent as they make themselves, they still grip my flitting heart with their effervescent beauty. Truly a spectacle beheld amongst the eye of the beholder. A silent transmission from the heart is sent, hoping the recieving end will respond.

2 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

plainmornings

:: 2002 21 November :: 8.07pm

so yeah. the right decision? i don't know anymore...

i hate not being in control of my emotions... its so superficial.. as much as i try to hide my broken heart it seems to leak out in the most unlikely places... i'm just afraid of hurting more people...

i just want it to stop...

4 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

plainmornings

:: 2002 21 November :: 6.56pm

[Current Clothes] ummm my orange billabong hoodie yo! haha and ummm orange shorts
[ Current Mood] eh... but then again does that really surprise anyone?
[ Current Music]The Juliana Theory
[ Current Taste] pickles lol
[ Current Make-up ] ehhh very smudged blue eyeliner and uhh yeah.
[ Current Hair ] down & tangled
[ Current Annoyance ] boys. boys annoy me a lot.
[ Current Smell ] pickles.
[ Current Thing ] thing?
[ Current Desktop Picture ] i don't remember
[ Current Favorite Artists] ummm TJT, TBS, STD, soo many others
[ Current Favorite Group ] any of the above i'm very emo-y lately
[ Current Book you're reading] The Bell Jar
[ Current CD in CD Player] Saves The Day
[ Current DVD in player] A walk to remember
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] chipping metallic red :0P
[ Current Refreshment ] ginger ale
[ Current Worry ] fuck worrying.

LAST PERSON...
[ You Touched ] Matt[ You Talked to ] Alex K.
[ You Hugged ] Matt[ You Instant messaged ] Alex
[ You Yelled At ] Matt
[ You Kissed ] Matt

FAVORITE...
[ Food ] i'm a sucker 4 Latino food ;0P
[ Drink ] DrPepper or Cherry Coke
[ Color ] pink/orange/purple/red/yellow its all good :0P
[ Album ] Taking Back Sunday - Tell all your friends
[ Shoes ] my tie dyed orange converses!
[ Candy ] raisinets, twizzlers, gummi bears
[ Animal ] giraffe
[ TV Show ] tricky... i'm a sucker for Gilmore Girls lol
[ Movie ] I like a lot of movies...
[ Dance ] me, dance??? haha Skank it baby!
[ Song ] TJT - Don't push love away, pictures, stars, and dreams, Duane Joseph
TBS - Great Romances, You know how I do, Head club
STD - At your funeral, Nightingale, Through being cool
Dash - A plain morning
SP - Beautiful
[ Vegetable ] um.. i like carrots and potatoes
[ Fruit ] pears, apples.. its all good ohh oranges :0)[ Cartoon ] Sabrina the animated series[ Store ] no preferance really.
[ Kiss ]sweet ones but then passionate ones too
[ Hangout ] the beach & MY life guard tower :0P
[ Vacation ] Greece & Italy!!!! and Hawaii w/band

ARE YOU...
[ Understanding ] I'd like to think I am but I know i'm not... Well I guess I pretend to be a lot
[ Open-minded ] Very[ Arrogant ] I think so
[ Insecure ] more then i'm willing to admit
[ Interesting ] lol probably not
[ Random ] all the time.
[ Hungry ] only when i have nothing to do.
[ Friendly ] lol i'd like to think so but i'm sure others think differently
[ Smart ] i'm the stupidest IB person i know :0)
[ Moody ] lol ask Matt & Shane.. They got a LOT of my many mood swings this past week ::sigh:: i'm working on it :0(
[ Childish ] definately... i'm 8 after all right? heh ( more like the size of an 8 yr old :0P)
[ Independent ] sometimes..
[ Hard working ] when i want to be
[ Organized ] lol wheres my homework again? :0P
[ Healthy ] i'm convinced i have a brain tumor.
[ Emotionally Stable ] i'm really beginning to think that i'm really really not.
[ Shy ] sometimes.. around new people.. ehh new cute boys lol i'm really loud & outgoing w/the people i know though[ Difficult ] probably more then anybody.. maybe not Matt lol
[ Attractive ] lol how bout a big NO!
[ Bored Easily ] with guys? lol j/k
[ Thirsty ] all the time
[ Responsible ] apparently not.
[ Obsessed ] getting over it.
[ Angry ] more then i'd like to be.
[ Sad ] all the time... I wish I could just be happy... its like a drug.. i can get a temporary high sometimes but for the most part i'm crying inside
[ Happy ] inbetween lapses of sadness & depressino and crap.
[ Hyper ] heh meee hyper??? NOOOOO :0P
[ Trusting ]i try to be but i always find myself disappointed in the end.
[ Talkative ] lol now try to get me to shut up :0)

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ Kill ]ehh... lets not go there.
[ Slap ] too many people... ignorant mostly
[ Get Real Wasted With] don't drink.
[ Get High With ] don't smoke
[ Look Like ] I don't know...
[ Talk To Offline ] ::sigh:: someone who I more then likely will never talk to ever again...
[ Talk To Online ] i think that would be the same person..
[ Date ] lol boys are tooo much trouble :0P Dating gets me in trouble... dykedom here i come!
[ Fuck ] o god.

... i hope that (you're) reading this... i hope (you) still care... hope.. is there a such thing?

Ready..Aim..

plainmornings

:: 2002 20 November :: 11.05pm

So yeah. Decision was finally made... for real this time.

Matt and I are going to try at it again. Why not... after two years of waiting for me its the least i could do :0P heh j/k... seriously though... its funny how we started out freshman year... Jenn liked Matt soo I never really looked at him (cuz thats what bestfriends r 4 :0P) and I was sooo into Paul (Matt's bestfriend lol) well... Fresh year Matt & I were just all flirty but never really thought that he liked me like that... the sophomore year... we spent exactly a month not talking to eachother (i really can't remember why lol) and it was just kinda terrible for awhile but then things got better and he eventually came out w/it & told me how he'd liked me since freshman year and was just scared to tell me and shit. We went out for exactly 2 weeks then I dumped him (i'm not exactly sure why but i think it was because of committment and stuff like that) and yeah... after all my shit I guess he must really like me :0D

Tomorrow is a half day! That makes me mucho happy heh Matt, Paul, Stephy and I are guna go do stuff & proly come back to my house to watch movies and such.

As happy as Matt makes me and all I still feel terrible about how I made Shane and Chris feel. Chris really isn't talking to me much and Shane... hes really sucking it up and trying to be a good sport which I appreciate more then anything in the world.

This time next week I'll have my Kevy Wevy back!!!!!!!!

7 days!!!!!!!!

3 People Fired | Ready..Aim..

plainmornings

:: 2002 18 November :: 11.03pm
:: Music: Wagner - Elsa's Procession to the Cathedral

Which TiNkErBeLL are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

melo-drama! bleh & a half. Chris got really mad at me. Apparently he saw Shane and I kissing on Fri night after the game (why it would still matter to him i have NO idea but yeah.) he was NOT happy w/me at all today. All day people seemed 2 act weird around me & i really had no idea why.... apparently rumor has it that Shane & Sam? ( ehh.. trumpet Sam.. Sam Q.) People were like asking me if i was okay and such all day and i had NO clue what was going on. Ash told me on the way home. O well... I hung out w/Dom 4 a while. Besides him being a jerk it was fun. I started my bassoon sonata today w/my piano teacher. It's coming along very nicely soo thats good. Ohhh Ash & I put the top down on the way home & got lots of kisses and waves & his heh its fun just talking to random people on the road (cept 4 the creepy Wackenhut guy that was following us lol) So yeah. Ash is all for Shane so her, Alex, Shane & I can double date :0P I don't know... it does but doesn't bother me bout the whole Sam thing... Shane & I are in the process of talking about it soooo yeah. Matt got me a bday/xmas present & won't tell me what it is :0( I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!

I think i've listened 2 Elsa's literally 5 times in a row lol

Goodnight world <3

~*Catch a star for me tonight, make a wish, make things alright...*~

Ready..Aim..

plainmornings

:: 2002 17 November :: 4.04am

4:02 am. Matt just left...

geez. i hope i know what i'm doing :0/

tonight was fun.. went 2 c Harry Potter w/Jess & Dom. Then 2 Dennys w/Dom & Chris = mucho fun.

around 2:00am Matt convinced me 2 let him come over. It was nice.. we just laid (sp?) there in eachothers arms for a long time and talked... and well yeah. He still wants me to go out with Shane... muy confundido :0(

bleh.

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