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m&ms487
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2006 18 April :: 8.08pm
It occured to me yesterday that everyone I know is painfully normal. There is nothing special about any of us. There are one hundred other people out there with the exact same talents and skills as any one of us. What makes us think we are anything to be proud of? The only thing that sets us apart are our experiences, but hell, who cares about experiences if you can't fit them into a concise paragraph along with your hopes and dreams and plan of the future?
I found out a few weeks ago that I was accepted into the Grand Valley State University School of Music to study for a degree in Music (performance) or Music Education.
It appears I have everything figured out. It would be wonderful if I really did.
Today was a horrible day. I don't know exactly why. It was just the feeling I had about it. Everything seemed so real, so acute, so harsh. It's hard to explain. It seems like the good days float by with a cloud of superficiality, nothing really grabs hold so much as just grazes by. It's like a bullet being shot that whizzes about your head. You realized it would hurt if you were struck, it might even be fatal, but because it didn't strike, it's almost not real. You are left with no physical reminder of it's presence. It can be soon forgotten, there was no true impact on your life.
Being struck with that bullet is a different story. You must live with the pain and reminder of it every day. It digs into your body, as much as into your soul. It's there, it's real.
That's what today seemed like. Real.
3 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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tails
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2006 17 April :: 3.48am
:: Mood: determined
:: Music: Page France - Goodness
Truth Be Told
God Damnit I Am Sexy!!!
Tuesdays @ 9pm at the wireless cafe The I.A. performs 3$ cover charge
Wednesdays @ 9pm at the wireless cafe the I.A. performs 2$ cover. (there is also an open mic that night after we perform if you like to listen to fucking retarted emo kids.)
Thursdays @ 9pm at The Eastown Hookah Lounge the I.A. performs
5$ cover charge
HALF OFF HOOKAHS!!!!
3$ fun fingerfood buffet.
Comedy and hookahs ....what could be better.
1 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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sugarmouse0587
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2006 15 April :: 10.15am
is there any way to make this all go away? i just want to be happy and actually hold on to that. i just feel any motivation and good feelings ebbing way.
In a phrase to cut these lips
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sugarmouse0587
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2006 13 April :: 11.37am
so i'm back and badder than ever. i know that isn't even correct, but i mean that i'm a bad-ass. you know how i roll.
i'm not even fully functional and i'm still badder than you. i can't even walk up stairs and i'm such an m-fing baddy mcbadderson sack.
also i can't sleep. freaking a. i went to bed at 10:30. didn't fall asleep til almost one woke up again at 4:30 to read and then woke up again at 6:40 to go to menards and fill out an app. i'm a monster. then i helped jake jump start his car and drove all the way to the zoo and didn't pass out. then i dragged my bag upstairs without any help.
you can't even touch me.
i miss jenna and i don't know where she is and my belly hurts and i'm hungry. and i don't want to put pants on.
okay and these people owe me:
Chris Best-One Georgia Book
Jessica Wilde-Ditto (sorry I keep nagging, I just love my little bookies)
Travis Macdonald-How to Survive the Loss of a Love (I know you don't even read this, but it's not called how to survive the loss of a book) IF ANYONE COMES IN CONTACT WITH THIS CHILD OR HIS TWIN SHOULD NOTIFY HIM OF MY ANGER.
Biondi-The Diary of Marie Antoinette.
That is all.
3 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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sugarmouse0587
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2006 9 April :: 11.18pm
two days till i go under the knife. i'm trying to tell myself not to be scared, but i am.
oh the other side though. school is almost done. i don't really know if that's a good thing. i get to lose more friends. yay. and i still don't have a job.
why am i so unhireable? seriously. i don't know if you know this, but i'm kind of a big deal. but fer rel though. i like working and i'm smart and responsible and i have good references. i also have experience. i don't say this much
but what the fuck?
i was harassed at my last job and i had to fucking quit, i didn't even call osha or anything. no one even tried to convince me to stay and make them behave. and those guys didn't get fired or in trouble. and then no one would hire me.
i'm blaming cedar springs for this. it's forever tainted my life.
FUCK YOU CEDAR FUCKING SUCKING SPRINGS.
6 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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Tails
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2006 9 April :: 10.34pm
:: Music: Goodness - Page France
Way Before There Was Goodness
So, things are interesting around my head.
Life seems to be looking sideways. not up not down but the complete opposite direction. life is going to blow out my tire but then repair it with an allignment problem.
Tuesdays @ 9pm at the wireless cafe The I.A. performs 3$ cover charge
Wednesdays @ 9pm at the wireless cafe the I.A. performs 2$ cover. (there is also an open mic that night after we perform if you like to listen to fucking retarted emo kids.)
Thursdays @ 9pm at The Eastown Hookah Lounge the I.A. performs
5$ cover charge
HALF OFF HOOKAHS!!!!
3$ fun fingerfood buffet.
Comedy and hookahs ....what could be better.
1 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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sugarmouse0587
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2006 6 April :: 11.33pm
am i ever going to stop being such a child? why can't i just stop it? or be calmer or not such a hugh bitch.
1 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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sugarmouse0587
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2006 5 April :: 12.26pm
working in a group gives me the mega droop.
yeah i said it.
and piano is so painful that i think it's making me stupid.
fer real though. i only have like three weeks left of school. that's cool. i'm don't with my oral exam in spanish. annnndddd.
i'm frustrated.
5 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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Tails
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2006 5 April :: 5.52am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Damien Rice -Be My Husband
PLEASE HELP!!
Ok everybody i need you all to do me a huge favor TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!!!
I need everyone to post back to this with a short bio about me. i need to write a bio about myself to put in the on the town magazine when they do their article about the I.A. and i cant for the life of me think of what to write.
SO PLEASE HELP!!!
if you could please post back ASAP about this that would be great so i can start thinking about what youve all wrote or even just use whatever you wrote for the article
PLEASE DO THIS GOD PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
2 I love you |
In a phrase to cut these lips
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