I must've started life with a checklist, i took the rules and broke them in

I must've started life with a checklist, i took the rules and broke them in

:: 2003 5 July :: 12.00am

Lou came to the fancy house today
SO today was the 4th of july and my brothers birtday but he wasnt home. i took lou to sams house the rich girl. i made him swim it was funny. they teased me cuz im not a good swiimmmer. then he watched me play lax and swam some more. we ate and wathced some good disney movies and HOOOK thats a great movie

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 1 July :: 10.34pm
:: Mood: im okay
:: Music: Green day

WOW Journals are gay
Tonight i went to the mall with louis. I needed to get a dress for when im going away. Lou asked his friend to help me it was kinda funny to shop with lou. I got this black tube top thing and black shoes. I gues its okay i think i looked stupid but they said not so.

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 29 June :: 12.40am

Its about time for a nice update
Well there isnt much to get into about the last few days really. Went to Louis, same old shit. Today they had this "show" which really just was a bunch of little kids at matts brothers pretending like they care. It wasnt there best time playing, for some reason it seamed like they did worse then ever. Mayer didnt seam like he wanted to do it, which i dont blame him. They all seamed pretty out of it and no one there seamed to care much so it all kinda evened out. Anyways Matt(fingers) had some friends over, lets call them the "emo kids and chick he digs"...well he seamed to rather be with this kids then any of us This kinda made me a little mad/upset at Matt but i understood. Untill that is he left wit them and me and louis had to walk to Smithtown. Thats very far, at least 4 or 5 miles. We went to see Galller and then just went home at like 8 30 it was kinda a shitty day but its okay. I forgive Matt because its okay he can go with the girl he lieks and because i totaly love that kid and dont want to hold anything to him
welll bye

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 28 June :: 12.33am

odd...u dont have to have a real username. just put anything it works

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 26 June :: 12.42pm

I would like to post this comment to allys journal comment as an entry rahter then a reply to her comment
Well this is to Ally but also something that ive been thinking about lately. I feel as if maybe i only loved kris because aftering spending so much time with kris, i felt maybe i have to love kris. I felt like why would i spend all these months and have sex with someone who i didnt truely love, when kris left i felt lost as if something was misssing. Then i found friends and found people who hated kris and gave me great reasons to hate him myself. im usely not one to change how i feel because other people feel that way but this really is a fact Kris is a shithead. he didnt treat me well and proably only used me for god knows what. it could have been sex. drugs . or just that for once someone seamed to care about him. i just think that i loved him because i guess i thought i had to, and i bet he did the same. Love is not a word to throw around, i always made ssure i didnt do that then for some reason kris got it out of me...so i take it back all of it, i cared and liked kris... love ...thats not what it was. it was a relationship based on mistakes. the mistake of using drugs and having sex with someone i didnt love. Big mistkaes that i cant take back, kris will forever be a important part of me. if anything it gave me a postive outlook on things. people are not always as good as the seam and love it totaly bullshit...well im going to stop rambling before i sound like more of an asshole and take up more journal space

7 ive been caught | cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 25 June :: 12.00am
:: Mood: bored/hungry

So today i went to louis and we hung out for like 30mins then ted took us to borders at like 2! whcih is so early for that so we headed to the mall. we kinda just walked about...then all sat and stuff..we walked to borders and me a lou stoped and saw mayer wondering so we walked with him to borders and just kiinda sat inside till lou took me home..

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 23 June :: 10.41pm

fuck this shit
Alright so now im talking to russ. and hes telling me its wrong to be "hooking up" withtout surely breaking it off with kris, but isnt it like a given that me and krsi are over? he said its wrong because kris is still waiting for me. but it doesnt matter because i stoped that shit he isnt worth my time. I told russ i was with louis now. he said that wrong or whatever. But i dont care cause louis is nicer and better to me then kris ever was in the 10months we were together. come to think of it ....lou is nicer then any other guy has ever been to me to be completely truthfull...i get along with lou really well...and i always did..lou is a great kid and kris just isnt right for me...i dont care...what do you people think Louis or Kris...not that it will change anything im just wonderring ...cuz im sticking with lou..hes the kid for me :) haha

here something that russ said...MrLunt135: but kris betrayed me
MrLunt135: he broke the trust
MrLunt135: and i could never trust him again in a relastionship
iFoLLoWbAdRoNaLd: true but be the bigger person
MrLunt135: i would love to be the bigger person. but i think id be bigger if i didnt pretend to be in love with someone who i am not...and was truthfull with him

2 ive been caught | cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 23 June :: 5.08pm

lets see yesterday louis came wit me to a family party but thats not what i want to write about
before online russ said something to me when i was away it made me feel kinda bad in a way but i dont really understand how he can say what he did...he said he doesnt understand how i can just forget kris

iFoLLoWbAdRoNaLd: u were scared kris would forget u and now ur forgetting him
iFoLLoWbAdRoNaLd: thatts fucked up

I didnt forget kris...kris betrayed me and did me wrong. he lied to me and cheated on me and our whole relationship was a based on drugs its seams. i didnt forget him everyone knows that he is still on my mind. i still care about him but im not in love with kris because i dont want to be...i dotn want to get hurt again and i dont want to ever feel the way kris made me feel again. i just want to move on and try and be happy and i dont understand what im doing wrong...someone please tell me ...am i rong? should i still be hanging onto the thought that maybe someday kris will come back and love me and will be a new person? When you love someone you dont want them to change right? then i must not love kris cuz i would only want him back if he changed alot of things about him...and that wouldnt be love...and sure its good to forgive and forget..but do people reallly ever forget...and i could never trust kris again oh fuck this shit i was happy fucking happy now russ has me thinking im rong...someone please tell me what is wrong with me...am i rong?

2 ive been caught | cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 21 June :: 10.43pm

1 ive been caught | cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 21 June :: 10.08pm

I need to take this test because i love fishes

You're Nemo! You love to explore you're boundaries
and don't like to be stuck at home especially
with overprotective parents. You're most likely
a outgoing person and love to make friends!
You're a likeable person so don't change!

What character from Finding Nemo are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 20 June :: 10.34pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: none

Today we saw the fishes
So alright today at like 3 i went to get Galler. Follwed by Lou and fingers. We went to the movies to see "finding nimo" but galler and fingers went there own ways to see "the hulk" because they suck and dont like fishes like me. After that we went to borders and i bought Louis a present because hes always so nice to me so i thought i would. that was pretty much my night. it sounds dull but it was really a nice night

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 19 June :: 3.04pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Misfits

I think the last to days where pretty eventfull
Alright so yesterday i went to take my global regents. and at the end of the test i ask the dude if i can leave since it was 2 and thats when you leave. so he says no and you can like hear people in the halls leavin. so im like dude i have to go home i need to get a buss. then i said a couple more things till he called someone to bring me down to mr conway. they wrote me up it was so stupid. so i saw kerri. and she said she was sorry which i feel like it was a very brave and nice thing of her to do. i was thankfull
so i had missed my buss so i called louis. and he got ted to come get me. i went to louis and we kinda just hung out. nothing speical.

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 18 June :: 9.10am
:: Mood: Half awake
:: Music: NONE

Alright so
Lets see yester i had my math final. It was pretty easy for a final and i feel like i at least past the dam thing. Anyways after the tests i went to Britts. We got alot of food and then had a good game of candy land. Then after my dad watched me take a pratice global test at which i got all the answers right be allowed me to go to louis. Galler Rios and fingers where there for about a half an hour and then they headed to borders or the mall. Lou stayed with me at his house since i had to go home at 8. We tried to play operation but we gave up or he did. Hes mommy wouldlnt let us in his bed room it was funny. Then he tried to help me study but since im so stupid i just couldnt do it. My mom came i went home and studyed for a little and now its like 9 and i have a test in 2hours. 3 hours of just siting there. Its probaly going to suck.

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 16 June :: 9.32am
:: Music: Sublime-Santeria

So yesterday was fathers day...
I spent the morning cleaning and making a cake for my mom. We got in a fight and she told me it wasnt good enought cause nothing i do is good enough for my mom but thats not important right now. Lets see Ally come over around 2, we sat around the house trying to find something to do all afternoon. We played some stupid game on the computer, that by the way i figgured out last night ally :)....alrigt so then after much begging i had Louis come over. He got there as me ally and my baby cousin eddie where playing candy land. it was the 3rd game and ed had beat us everyother round. we started to play with lou in the game ...ally set my little man back no even on the board so i could lose. as if i didnt every other time. then we kinda gave up and went inside. we watched ally dance with is alway a joy to see...from there we really did nothing then ally left and it was just me and lou so i made him play lax. it was stupid cuz we only have golf ball...anyways we sat on the swings in my back yard then it was time for lou to go and thats pretty much it

cant be caught

cait0880

:: 2003 15 June :: 11.22am
:: Mood: mad
:: Music: yelling

ah so last night.
Lets see Lou came to get me and he gave me a shirt because hes nice and he didnt have to but he still did...its really amazing how much nicer lou has been to me in the last mouth then kris ever was in the time i knew him...anyways we went to louis ...with rios there. and we just were around his house for like 5 mins then we headed to the mall. waited for fingers. he came ...i finaly got nose rings for my nose that cant be worn in front of my mom. we headed to boreders stoped at toys r us. me and lou lost rios and fingers yet again so went to boreders and saw them walking up the huge hill to someplace...we sat in borders...pretty dull night..but still nice

cant be caught