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toki

:: 2004 18 April :: 7.41pm

Ticks In The Swamp
So Jill and I went on a field trip today. To the lake swamp area by my house, it was fun. We took pictures and such. Then we had to go see Spencer, who was parked in the worst place possible, so we couldn't just turn around...nooo...we had to walk right through the swamp to him. ::sigh:: Oh well.

Then I found a tick on my arm, but it wasn't deep in my skin yet, so it's all good. It was kinda gross when Jill's mom took it off and it danced and ::shudder:: Oh well. Lol.

So yeah, we washed off our feet and went in the hot tub. It felt nice.

And I just ate dinner and I'm now sitting here, realizing I smell of chlorine and swamp water. I should go shower and check my hair for more ticks. I hate ticks. But it feels like I'm back in good old north carolina. Wooo. So to my shower. Good bye.

-Patrice

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toki

:: 2004 17 April :: 1.56pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Tiny Dancer

I'm glad yesterday is over. Today isn't amazing, but it's not yesterday and that makes me somewhat happy.

I got the pictures from turnabout developed. If your name is Jill, Jackie, Ashley, Corny, Hul, or Wender you can see them if you really honestly want to. Other then that....ewwww. I wore *pink*....::shudders:: Never again, no more pink.

So, wanna hear a funny story? My sister's a senior right? And she got asked to her junior prom and she was all "oh next year when I get asked again...." Blah blah...but no one has asked her yet. And she's probably not gonna get asked. Which makes me smile. I know it's mean, but it's the first guy-ask-girl dance that she won't be asked to and it's her senior prom. I feel kinda bad at the same time, because if it was my senior prom I'd be pissed, but I don't know. She had it coming. That's all I'll say.

I'm supposed to be leaving the house today. I'm looking forward to that. Unlike Jackie says, I need to be busy. Last weekend's laying on the couchness almost killed me. So I think I'm gonna go take a shower...I'm still finding woop chips in my hair.

Remind me to tell you about my dream if you care, it was nuts.

-Patrice

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toki

:: 2004 15 April :: 8.57pm
:: Mood: Ahhh
:: Music: Hanson-I Will Come To You

I don't want tomorrow to come. It's freggin friday, it's not supposed to be stressful. But I have two big tests that I am going to fail and the stupid light thing and that stupid contest, which I really just don't want to do. I don't mind band, it's right after school, but damn orchestra....damn damn damn damn damn! Ahhhh! I quit. yeah. I quit. I didn't want it anyways, you can have it.

They don't need me. No one needs me. I'm ok. Blaaaaah. ::screams::

It seems so earlier not being at crew. I kinda like being home. It felt good, even thought I got barely anything done. Oh well.

I have to go bull shit a half a page on the mood of the lighting in this stupid picture, then answer the history things, and then make a notecard, then chemistry, then shower, then die.

Then be up so I can be at school by 6:30, cuz of my damn sister. :-P Fun. Poo heads. I'm going now. No more disturbing you. Good bye.

-Patrice

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mudpiegrl

:: 2004 15 April :: 6.37pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: K9 Advantix!!!

so theres a k9 advantix commercial and its awesome...i love it it sooo adorable!!!

have fun!

Hello mother, hello father,
fleas, ticks, mosquitos really bother
thanks for the package,
thats why im writing
k9 advantix quickly stopped all the biting!

swimming, hiking, and tent-pitching
they're not biting!
im not itching!
cant wait to show you
all my new tricks!
thanks again for sending me k9 advantix!!!



1 Pirate | X marks the spot


toki

:: 2004 14 April :: 3.23pm
:: Mood: rejected

So usually my two horoscopes are so far from me and each other it's funny. But today it was weird. They're too much alike...it's hauntingly creepy.

Horoscope #1!
There are two distinct voices coming at you today. One is enticing you to dance -- and we are not talking ballroom dancing. We're talking the dance of relationships. This voice is encouraging you to move out beyond yourself and to have fun with someone else. Meanwhile, there's another voice telling you not to make any sudden moves and to stay within your own internal fantasy world where it is safe. Safe, yes -- but it is also lonely.

Horoscope #2!!
You're torn in two directions -- you want people to know who you are, but you also don't want to call too much attention to yourself. Are you a poet or a comedian? Only you can decide.

Well, Don't take them completly literally. I don't know, I see connections. Oh well, I'm one of those insane people who find meaning in anything super natural.

Blah blah blah. I quit, it's too hard.
-Patrice

X marks the spot


mudpiegrl

:: 2004 11 April :: 11.27pm
:: Mood: confused

this is weird...er....


battlestarre: neil.
battlestarre: how much do you miss stef.
battlestarre: ?
battlestarre: like is it only a friendy kinda miss...
battlestarre: or do you miss being so incredibly close to her
battlestarre: ?
HammeTrucci: actually, i dont really miss her that much
battlestarre: oh.
HammeTrucci: yeah, i miss my old group sometimes
battlestarre: but just a friendy kinda miss...thas different
HammeTrucci: but like, i have new friends now
battlestarre: yea.
HammeTrucci: yeah, i miss hangin out with them
HammeTrucci: not really the connection
battlestarre: oh. okay.
HammeTrucci: the only one i really miss is ben
HammeTrucci: he was my best friend
battlestarre: okie.
HammeTrucci: yeah, how come u asked?
battlestarre: um....cuz
HammeTrucci: ok, its all good if you're curious
battlestarre: not that
battlestarre: cuz...its kinda weird telling you, although i have no issue saying so other than your possibly jealous reaction
HammeTrucci: i think the best thing about our relationship is how we can talk about things
battlestarre: i totally dont wanna upset you
HammeTrucci: itskinda weird telling me what?
HammeTrucci: im kinda confused now
HammeTrucci: sorry
battlestarre: cuz.
battlestarre: okie ... well...the reason i asked is cuz ...
battlestarre: i miss hul....and its weird because its not the same kinda miss that i miss spencer, which is a friendy miss...
battlestarre: i miss him the same way, although not as much as i did you when i left.
battlestarre: and its more long term..
battlestarre: and i dont wanna tell you cuz hes your friend and its weird
HammeTrucci: that's understandable
HammeTrucci: its ok babe
HammeTrucci: he was your first real boyfriend right?
battlestarre: yea i guess.
battlestarre: but i was his too....well girlfriend...
HammeTrucci: yeah
battlestarre: and he doesnt really get it.
HammeTrucci: so there is always gonna be a connection between you twwo
battlestarre: but it makes me nervous.
battlestarre: cuz hes your friend
battlestarre: doesnt that bother you at all.
battlestarre: ????/
HammeTrucci: its kinda weird but it bothers me less because ive known him for a long time
battlestarre: that would make it weirder for me
battlestarre: i think id rather not know stef if you did have a slight attraction to her than know her...

4 Pirates | X marks the spot


mudpiegrl

:: 2004 11 April :: 11.05pm

im sorry if you havent had a bf...maybe youll still know what im talking about...

i miss hul so much...and its not the same kinda miss as a friend...cuz i miss spencer in a friendy kind of way...its the same kinda miss i missed neil with when i was gone, only not so powerful...

and he knows what i mean...only i dont know if he really does......erm......

battlestarre: hul i have a personal question for you
personofthasun00: ooo fun
battlestarre: you dont have to answer, obviously
battlestarre: lol
personofthasun00: obviously
battlestarre: once youve broken up wtih a girl, do you miss them?
personofthasun00: in certain ways
personofthasun00: but i think you meant to ask that to wender
battlestarre: no, i totally meant it to you
personofthasun00: oh
personofthasun00: okay
battlestarre: do you look at them and go...man i remember why i liked her so much...
battlestarre: and almost start liking them again?>
personofthasun00: kinda not really
battlestarre: ::sigh::
battlestarre: im hopeless
personofthasun00: you're hopeless?
battlestarre: yes.
battlestarre: do you want to know why?
personofthasun00: i suppose your going to tell me
battlestarre: only if you want to know...if you have no intrest, ill make neil listen...lol im kidding
personofthasun00: tell me
battlestarre: okie
battlestarre: because when i hang out with you...i am like wow...he's such a sweetheart...and like i almost wish that it had gone longer, just because i would like to see what it would turn out to be like...and like i love neil and all...dont get me wrong, im not about to break up with him because old feelings come back, but its just confusing and i was sort of wondering if youve had the same about stacey or me
battlestarre: cuz i guess i was wondering if its normal
battlestarre: its hard to talk to neil about it; he can only bring up stef and it makes me jealous
personofthasun00: yeah ive had thoughts like that
personofthasun00: stef?
personofthasun00: thats weird
personofthasun00: but yeah its normal
battlestarre: ::sigh::
personofthasun00: sigh indeed
personofthasun00: its just cause we dont hang out anymore
battlestarre: i feel kinda um....not loyal...i cant remember the word
personofthasun00: well as much as we used to anyways
battlestarre: no...its not..its every time i see you
battlestarre: so youre saying its just cuz i miss hanging out with you?
battlestarre: then how come i dont miss spencer? i used to hang out with him lots too
battlestarre: like i do, but not the same way
personofthasun00: u did?
battlestarre: yea.
battlestarre: i always used to talk to him online and stuff too...
personofthasun00: i dunno
battlestarre: its just weird...oh well...i wont bother you with it anymore...probably's kinda uncomfortable
personofthasun00: well everyone kinda seems to be goin their own ways
battlestarre: yea, of course...thats the way it always goes...specially since you guys'll all be shipping off soon...::sigh::
personofthasun00: its not that uncomfortable cuz your cool bout it
battlestarre: i wanna hang out with you all so bad but if i do i dont wanna miss you more than i already will
personofthasun00: weird
battlestarre: that uncomfortable...lol
personofthasun00: whatever
personofthasun00: i find its best to bottle emotions up inside
personofthasun00: and let them all out when you are forty
personofthasun00: serenity now
personofthasun00: haha
personofthasun00: i know ill just start being a jackass
personofthasun00: i just cant help being so hot
personofthasun00: haha jk

1 Pirate | X marks the spot


mudpiegrl

:: 2004 11 April :: 4.28pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: disney

its weird...my toenail is bruised....like purple...but it doesnt hurt.....

oh well...


~The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself...

*can you do that?

~my dear, sweet child...thats what i do...its what i live for...to help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself...poor souls with no one else to turn to...

I admit that in the past ive been a nasty
they werent kidding when they called me well, a witch
but youll find that nowadays, ive mended all my ways
repented, seen the light and made the switch,
true? yes.

and i fortunatly know a little magic,
its a talent that i always have possessed,
and dear lady, please dont laugh,
i use it on behalf of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed
pathetic...

Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need
this one longing to be thin and that one wants to get the girl and do i help them?
yes indeed.
Those poor unfortunate souls, so sad, so true
they come flocking to my cauldron,
crying spells that they need,
and i help them, yes i do.

Now its happened once or twice,
someone couldnt pay the price...
and im afraid i had to rake 'em 'cross the coals,
yes, ive had the odd complaint,
but on the whole ive been a saint
to those poor unfortunate souls!!

~now have we got a deal

*if i become human, ill never be with my father or sisters again...

~but...youll have your man...life's full of tough choices, i'nt it?

Oh! and there is one last thing...we havent discussed the subject of paym-

*but i dont have any-

~im not asking much, just a token, merely trifle...what i want from you is...your voice...

*but without my voice, how can i-?

~you'll have your looks, your pretty face...and dont under estimate the importance of....body language...ha!

the men up there dont like a lot of blabber...
they think a girl who gossips is a bore
yes, on land its much preferred
for ladies not to say a word
after all, what is idle prattle for?

com'on they're not all that impressed with conversation,
true gentlemen avoid when they can
but they dote and swoon and fawn
on a lady who's withdrawn
its's she who holds her tongue who gets her man

com'on you poor unfortunate soul
go ahead, make your choice,
im a very busy woman and i havent got all day
it wont cost much, just your voice

ya poor unfortunate soul
its sad but true:
if you want to cross a bridge my sweet
you've got to pay the toll
take a gulp and take a breath
go ahead and sign the scroll
flotsam, jetsom, now i got her boys
the boss is on a roll!

these poor unfortunate souls!!!!!!!

(crazy spell here...)

...the winds of the caspian sea!!
la voche to me!

~now sing!

*(sings)

~keep singing

*(sings more)

::pretty music::


2 Pirates | X marks the spot


toki

:: 2004 11 April :: 10.15pm
:: Mood: lonely

Yeah, I'm all alone. It's not a bad thing entirely. It's good to be alone sometimes. you think about things, you know?

I just haven't talked to anyone other then Jackie all day, which isn't bad either, because yeah, I never get phone calls and that was exciting.

I just wanted to go online and see if pple were online to talk to, but my computers screwed up, my dad's blocks every pop up, so I can't do aim express so I'm mad. Grrr. That's me mad.

I figure that no one would be online if I went on anyways. And because I'm not there, people will be there to talk to. It's just the way it is. Lol.

I should just sleep. I didn't eat sugar before bed. My mom's gonna have my liver. Okay, to the sugarific food then to the sleepage. Night.

X marks the spot


toki

:: 2004 10 April :: 6.15pm
:: Mood: Sick....again
:: Music: Beatles

Blah
So if I ever tell you I'm too sick to eat, make me eat something, ok? I guess a mix of being sick with a cold and a stomach thing then not eating any meals for 3 days caught up with me. Yeah, this morning (well, 1 pm) was bad. I'm kinda happy though, cuz I just might be able to get out of church. I know, twisted logic but it works. Hehe.

My sister's funny. She makes me laugh. She was telling me how her friends go up to her and say "Your oldest sister is so hot, but your other sister, she's kinda mean. I don't get it." I don't know, I think its funny cuz I've never really talked to any of her friends before. And the people her age who I have tell me I'm alot nicer then her, so it makes me laugh. So according to the stereotypical 8th grader who only looks at appearances, ugly means evil. Hence, I am oh so mean. :-) And "hot" means they're nice. I'm not saying pretty people aren't nice, but stereotypes like that just amke me laugh.

Hmm...I'm bored. I watched White Oleander again today. I really like that movie.

last night we saw the prince and me. It wasn't a bad movie, just very...sameish..as all the other movies like it. Ah well, it was fun.

Yeah food. I need to eat. I really do and I have to force myself to eat with the family tonight. It's gonna suck. :-\ my dad's already flipping out and telling my mom to take me to the hospital. He's an idiot. Oh well.

Ok then. To the..ummm...not doing anythingness.

:-( bye..
-Patrice

1 Pirate | X marks the spot


toki

:: 2004 10 April :: 12.28am
:: Mood: Nothing

I don't know what to say. I want to write until every last bit of thought is let out of my head and I have nothing left to think about and I can just sit back in peace and not have to think ever again.

I don't know what I'm thinking. Everything's moving too fast.

I need to get away.

1 Pirate | X marks the spot


mudpiegrl

:: 2004 9 April :: 2.12am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: perfect circle

okie i have a creative writing project that i got today and i couldnt wait to write. i have to take a picture (i like this one) and use it as inspiration for a story, using the quote that goes along with the piece. this is my story.

“Mother?” she only sobbed. “Mother, what is the matter?” Her lack of an answer made the girl look down in shame at her skirt, which was covered in dirt because of her pondering hours in the woods. She knew exactly what had happened. It had been going on for months, or at least this horrible. Actually, she could remember back to the second grade when she’d cover her ears and scream so she could have her own peace. The yelling only added to the noise she had always attempted to avoid, as the girl enjoyed a kind silence, such as that which hid deep in the woods, where she took refuge frequently. She wanted to hug her mother, whether she was dirty or not, but the bent figure was tough and she was cautious of it. The woman was not generally violent, nor did she upset easily, and so the girl did not know how to comfort her. She sat in the chair, watching the tears stream and the red blotches grow, listening to the quick inhales and sobs, which, apparently, had begun quite a while before she arrived.
Later, after the crying had ceased, she embraced her mother around her middle with love. She ran to the center of Mulberry Forest, feeling the wind rush through her hair and pull back her clothes, allowing the grass and sticks to whip her hands and bare legs. The wind died once the trees became denser, and she slowed as a result of the abundance of fallen branches and broken trunks. The forest floor was covered in colours brilliant enough to see for miles. The damp leaves peeked through dying grasses and protected rocks from little girls who wished for a seat. She shoved off the reds and yellows, exposing a hard slate-coloured stone. She threw herself upon it and cried into her hands, tolerating the itch of the salty tears that ran down her arms and onto her knees. What did she want? If he left, they would have to scrounge for money, as her mother only kept her own house and cared for her own child. But would he stay and continue to torment the lives of those he insisted he loved. She made up her mind that he should die-although harsh and critical, it was best. They would inherit his money and visit kindly to his grave.
For weeks, the ten-year-old sat in the old apple tree, watching blue turn to pink and slowly fade to black. She pretended the tree was her castle, and she watched over the kingdom until she no longer could. She would slowly walk home, only to find her mother slamming pots in the sink, with a drink in hand, or asleep on the couch in the living room. One night, the girl gently woke her, and the women slapped the child for the disruption. Now the only possible companion had abandoned her, and she watched the window for her father until she fell asleep. She truly did love him, although the combination of her parents was like that of orange juice and milk. The lactose counteracts the effects of the acidic juice and the two cause quite the stomachache. She supposed they got along once, because they appear to be happy in the adorable wedding picture that sat on her dresser. Every night, she stared at the picture, pondering a once peaceful childhood, and wondering if the day she married would be horrible or wonderful.
Months passed, and the girl didn’t notice. Every moment was an oblivious observation of the world. She spent the entire week in her dream world sometimes, ignoring her mother’s drunken threats and blocking out the neglect she knew she lived in. Dinner became apples until winter, when she would tramp through the snow, playing that she was a wolf attempting to bring her pups fresh meat. Soon spring came and shades of red, blue, and purple decorated the newly green bushes that lined the fences. She snacked on them, imagining their use as dye in the days when Indians roamed the way she did constantly.
Her rock became worn with everyday use, and it now represented a nicely crafted simpleton chair. She stared at the damp ground, and slowly arranged her eyes upon the carelessly placed bushes. It appeared to be a fat man, she thought; one who comes from the south, with a bushy moustache and funny sombrero. She giggled at the funny image, and part of the belt began to move. “Oh, his pants will fall for sure!” She moved closer to find the buckle had only been two small caterpillars, green with yellow spots. Their chubby bodies moved slow, beginning with the first four legs, and following rhythmically in fours, the other eight legs. The bodies scrunched and straightened repeatedly, moving onto her gentle hand, from which she observed the spots carefully. She sat with them in the kind silence for a moment before she spoke.
“You will not yell at me. You can be my friends.”
Scrunch. Tiny steps. Scrunch.
“You with the black bottom can be Oscar. And you can be Alphonse, unless of course, either of you disagree.”
Their only response was to squish and fix their bodies as if they were accordions playing a slow, melodramatic ballad. The girl began to tell them all of her feelings. She could cry and tell someone as they explored the length of her arm and overcame the mountains of her skirt’s folds. For two weeks, she kept Oscar and Alphonse in a cup with the Holy Bible to hold them in on her dresser next to the wedding picture. She would take them to the woods, allowing them to munch varieties of grasses and leaves on a snuggly, warm piece of polyester. Summer would come soon, and she anticipated the warm sun’s rays. She could hardly contain her excitement for when she could talk to her new, patient friends in a place and light where they could only reflect and magnify the brilliance of the summer.
One day, on the way home from the forest, she stopped, watching them intently. She realized that they would soon be curling up in their cocoons, and emerging as magnificent butterflies. She knew it was time to send them back. The caterpillars softly wiggled in her hand, spelling out “goodbye”. They were leaving her as quickly as her father had, and as her childhood would be. She didn’t mind their absence, though. Their change was natural, as hers would be, and they cared enough to say goodbye to the confidant. She walked home, and returned to the forest before dawn, and began to watch the black turn to pink to blue in kind silence.


tell me what you think please...

11 Pirates | X marks the spot


toki

:: 2004 8 April :: 11.49pm
:: Mood: annoyed

If a life goes down a toliet, it comes out in a river and meets the sea.
Poooooo. Lol.

I have Jupitor stuck in my head.

Nachos I had for dinner aren't liking me.

My head hurts.

My dad's a jackass.

My dad's making me wake up at six am so we can "talk" because I didn't call him the second I left crew.

There was this weird pressure change in the hallway by Jill's locker today.

I should go get my phone from my room.

Those girls at the restaurant were creepy.

David was an idiot to get in the car with them.

My brain hurts. Too much thinking.

I like water. Good stuff.

I get my braces off in two months maybe. Woo.

My cat lost some weight. Now she's about the size of a volleyball instead of a beach ball.

Are volley balls and beach balls the same thing?

I want two different colored eyes. That'd be nifty.

I'm a bad friend/daughter/sister/person/whatever else you may call me.

I screw up everything. No matter what I do, it's not good enough.

I feel dirty and sawdusty. Damn crew.

I finished three of my four main base coats on my paint project.

I did the stone, just have to highlight. Base coat of the wood and the wallpaper. Go me.

I set the curve on the 1920's test.

I have a math test monday that I don't understand at all.

Why am I worrying about this now? I still have 3 days to come to terms with future failure.

I love you all. Every last one of you are amazing people. There are some crappy people in this world, but you guys make up for that crappiness. I love you all!

Thanks for listening to my random train of thought.

Good night.

Patrice.






X marks the spot


toki

:: 2004 7 April :: 10.43pm
:: Mood: sick

Bah
Arrrgh! I know, every entry has been about sickness, but I want to complain. So here I go. I've been sick with this damn cold almost a month. And my mom refuses to take me to the doctor and she gives me medicine that was prescribed to my sister and that scared me. So I'm taking it and this is the second day and I felt sick to my stomach and my head was killing me all day after I ate breakfast at panera..and finally after school I felt better...still cough but no stomach and head. Then I ate chips and M&Ms and the same thing happened...and it sucks. Because my mom thinks
A) I shouldn't have caffeine or sugary things anymore, cuz my body can't handle them
B) I'm having an allergic reaction to the medicine
orr C) I am getting sick again, except another sickness while I'm still sick with this one.

POOOOOOOOP!!!!!!
I'm sorry, shouldn't be complaining. Some people are worse off then me.

I've got rehearsal tomorrow. And crew. Crew isn't bad, I'm just dreading rehearsal. i suck at this whole correcting people thing and telling people they're wrong and just basically I suck at asming.

Anything I do for that matter. Let's make a list...ok?

1) ASMing...just go to one rehearsal and you'll see
2) Bassooning...lost my solo...turned into a duet...now 3 bass clarinets and 3 tenors play with me...can't even hear me anymore. It's crap
3) Dealings with people, I have no people skills. It makes me mad.

I could go on, but I don't feel like it and I'm tired.

Okie...Night people.

-Patrice

X marks the spot


mudpiegrl

:: 2004 7 April :: 10.25pm

prom
i was upset and neil was over so i started telling him (it was more myself, to comfort myself) the story in Ella Enchanted, which, as most of you know, is a cinderella story. i got so far, describing every detail i could remember, as the ball. At this point, i noticed how bright and beautiful the full moon was and for a few moments, we spoke of it.

then he said, "speaking of balls, would my princess like to go to prom with me?"

i hate this year.

i want it to keep going so badly though.

prom means the year is almost over.

which means there are only four months until half of my better friends will leave for college.

::sigh::

g'night.

neils here.

3 Pirates | X marks the spot

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