Beagle147
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2003 7 December :: 2.52pm
:: Mood: Hesitant
:: Music: Theme from Jaws
Decembear 7 - He Looked in the Closet Under the Staircase.
Ok. I have been putting off writing this for a very long time, because I really don't want to deal with all the criticism and shit bound to come from it. So I'll say this right now. If you don't want to hear my opinions, first of all, then why are you reading my journal in the first place, second, this is not the entry for you to be reading. Yea. So. Away we go.
Something has been bothering me a lot lately, won't seem to leave my head. You know those things that you are just constantly thinking about? You just have to write them out to let them escape your mind. Let's see. Who can guess what's bugging me? oo! I know! Pick me! That's right ladies and gentlemen, it's band. C'mon. Like you wouldn't have guessed it. What else would it have been? Anyway.
I was sitting in the "band hallway" with Krystle and AJ after the NHS meeting waiting for my dad and listening to symphonic band practice, and I started thinking a little bit. I thought about how cool it was that no matter what was happening for the most part, I always had somewhere to go when I was at school. Like I'm not kidding when I say I live in the band room. That's where I go in the morning, that's where I go at lunch, it's where I wait after school. It's kinda my home at school. I attribute this to the "band family." Krystle and I were discussing this at the music man thing we went to. Tons of people who are in band are my friends that I would never even talk to otherwise. I'm not going to name names here, but you guys all know that's true. You can name atleast one really cool person that you are fairly sure you would not associate with if you didn't know them from long hot days at band camp. The whole thing just automatically puts a common bond between all band members. Now I'm not saying that there aren't annoying people in band or people that I don't like, but there are few of them. I find that pretty much no matter who you are talking to in band, you have something to talk about. We really are part of a huge family, and it's cool.
However, (yes, there is a however) I am growing increasingly pissed at band. Not at the people, not at the director, at band. This is the part that has been haunting my brain. I think often about how glad I am that I joined band freshman year, that I didnt give up after the first day of band camp, that I didnt quit after oser was arrested, even after kayla came. But every time I start thinking about this, this fond feeling I have for band grows to hatred within a few minutes. No matter how much band has given to me, my friends, a place of belonging, it has taken so much more. It has taken more from me than any other thing I have ever done in my life. I know, I know, if band was easy everyone would do it. But this is more. It's not just memorizing music, it's not just heat exhaustion. It's more than that. I cant even put it to words at this point. But as pissed as I was at band at the end of September, it still has not left. I thought it would leave by now atleast. I was perusing some of my old journals from that period in putting off writing this one.
So...uhh...yea. I'll deal with it I guess. Eventually. Just...it'll be a few weeks I think before I actually figure out what to do about this. [...] I've also learned though that I have no other choice but to deal with it and get through it, because nothing is going to change...atleast not for the better. I dont really have a lot more to say. It's like...if I were to climb mount everest, and then as soon as I got to the very top of it, I'm pushed off from behind. That's a good metaphor. But seriously...I went up so far to fall so hard.
Something from that sticks in my head. Just...it'll be a few weeks I think... A few weeks. Even then, when I was still in the lowest of lows for band, I said a few weeks. It's December 7th. That was written on October 5th. If I felt then that I would get over it in a few weeks, why is it still bothering me now? Why do I feel that band has screwed me over, even though it's given me so much? If I'm so pissed at it, why haven't I quit? Why am I putting myself through it if it's this bad? I guess I just don't know. Just had to get this on paper..er, whatever. I'll figure it out some day. I guess.
~~~~Later~~~~
Amanda: I'm not totally sure I understand your latest journal entry.
Skillet: me neither.
Amanda: Well, that makes me feel better, lol.
2 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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tboblP
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2003 6 December :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: intense pain
UPDATE: 12/7 2:05pm
My fingers feel fine now, i watched a movie last night to keep my mind off the pain. I got used to holding an ice bag and when i took it away it burned really bad for about 25 minutes, but i cant keep a bag of ice on there forever. I'm gonna have a big scar on my middle finger tho. :-(
at work i burnt two fingers on my right hand on something on the washer, and it basically feels what i would think grabbing someones muffler tip after driving around would feel like. i can usually get around pain by just think8ing, its only pain, but this REALLY hurts, and typing with one hand is hard.
4 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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sendmemoney
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2003 6 December :: 6.03pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: lisa loeb - stay
i love fighting with people . i love it because even when you're sitting there and stuffing the notes into the back of your drawer and slamming it shut violently , in the back of your mind , you know you're doing that because you can't burn them . i love it because you throw the mix cds into the back of your car instead of out your window . i love it because you can sit and look through your phone for phone numbers all you want but you know you're not going to dial a single one , because you'd feel like a fool tomorrow when you're not fighting anymore . and when you sit and watch your movies , the ones that lack surprise or originality , the ones that tell you that everything is going to be alright in the end , the ones that make you realize that your fight is stupid and there is so much more you could be doing than leaving your phone upstairs so you can check it every five minutes with the excuse that you may not have heard it ring ... you know that tomorrow you won't have this much time on your hands . you know that tomorrow you won't be angry when the phone rings and it's not that one person . you know that tomorrow you won't cry your way through the same movie three times . you know that tomorrow it will be alright . and i've been doing it religiously . watching every movie i should , slamming every door , using every box of tissues in the house ... and things aren't alright . things aren't going to be the way they were before , no matter how many times i change the track number because the song is sentimental .
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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Beagle147
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2003 2 December :: 11.09pm
:: Mood: Slightly Amused
:: Music: Santa's Parade. That song has been in my head for HOURS!
Decembear 2nd - He looked around the skating pond.
A mand a (hehehe, I did the spacing funny like her screename): that was good, you should save it your journal or something
It was good. So I will. This is my attempt to explain a period of time (I'm not sure which) in history to Krystle before her mock exam tomorrow.
Skillet(that's me): what are we talking about now?
Skillet: doctrine of nullification
Skillet: ummm
Krystle: hmm ok.. what did calhoun do?
Skillet: calhoun was an idiot
Krystle: yes
Skillet: there was the nullification crisis
Skillet: the tariff of abominations was in 1828
Skillet: then during the jefferson day dinner they disagreed over each others' toasts
Skillet: calhoun stood up and said "the union next to our liberties most dear"
Skillet: then jackson got up and was like heeeeell no! "Our union it must be preserved [bitch]"
Skillet: lol
Skillet: then there was the webster-hayne debate
Skillet: in the senate
Skillet: they argued about the union and states rights
Skillet: then came the exposition and protest
Skillet: still in 1828
Skillet: calhoun decided there that states had the rights to declare federal laws null and void
Skillet: which is stupid
Skillet: it goes back to the kentucky and virginia resolutions
Skillet: idiot
Skillet: then in the tariff of 1832 calhoun resigned as vp to become senator of south carolina
Skillet: Hayne, the gov of SC, joined him in is "nullification process"
Skillet: whoops
Skillet: *after the tariff of 1832, not in it
Skillet: lol
Skillet: my hands go faster than my brain
Skillet: anywho
Skillet: they held a convention in SC to declare tariff of 1832 null and void
Skillet: jackson passed the force bill
Skillet: which was like hey, listen you little punks, I have the army here and I'm not afraid to use it
Skillet: so step down
Skillet: and then henry clay comes in
Krystle: :-)
Skillet: blah blah blah
Skillet: great compromiser
Skillet: lalala
Skillet: teddy roosevelt (Krystle and I talked about how Mr. Ierace says Teddy Roosevelt should be called the great compromiser in band class today)
Skillet: blah blah
Skillet: yea
Krystle: yep!
Skillet: so they passed the Compromise Tariff of 1832
Skillet: *33
Skillet: it lowered the tariff rates gradually
Skillet: so that the both of them would shut up
Krystle: teddy roosevelt?
Krystle: :-)
Skillet: yep
Skillet: in 1833
Skillet: then in 1834 he invented the teddy bear
Skillet: ok, I'm gonna go
Krystle: alright
Krystle: thanks
Krystle: oh... and i like your version of history much better than mr hall's
Krystle: :-D
Hehe, now you know what goes on in my head when I think about history. Betcha wish you didn't even know. o.~ And if any of this is historically inaccurate (besides the teddy roosevelt in 1833 part, which was inaccurate on purpose) then SHUT UP!!! Let me have my moment, ok?! Besides, I would only expect it to be about 80.4% accurate, since that's my grade in history. :oP
5 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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Beagle147
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2003 1 December :: 8.41pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Some Celine Dion song is on a tv special. Do people actually not know who Diane Warren is??
I am so scared for tomorrow's history class. There's gonna be like five of us because of the psych and social anth mocks. I'm bordering school phobia here, but it's more like history class phobia. I'm not really serious about the phobia, but this class tomorrow really is scaring the shit out of me. We're all gonna have to sit up front, and we're all gonna have to answer questions that I dont know, and, and, and...
Ugh..I will be so glad when the next three weeks are OVER!
On another note, I finally got around to changing the text for the leave a comment stuff. Now atleast two people have to comment or it won't make sense. So there. :oP
I also decided that what with the dvd coming out tomorrow, it's time to retire the pirates of the carribbean icon. Thanks so much Amanda for making it!! I put this one in sort of as filler, and it kind of fits my mood, but I'm keeping my eyes out for a really really good woohu icon to follow in the footsteps of one of my favorite movie characters ever. I'll get around to making the rest of the journal more spiffy later..
4 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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tboblp
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2003 29 November :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: bored
ill make this simple:
Bowling yesterday was great and much fun. Especially the talking for hours at mcdonalds part. Teaching Megan to drive stick was also kinda fun, and by the end she was doing great! Im so proud of you Megan!! I totally beat lindsay at bowling and everyone else. but eh, whos keepin score? Im trying to plan ways to spend any excess holiday money, even though i dont have it yet. any suggestions?
Finding Nemo was a really cool movie, I wish I would've seen it sooner. very funny, too!
haircut tomorrow?...you'll find out on monday...
;-)
Free Ice skating thursday! YEA!
1 TOUCH THE WATER!!! |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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Beagle147
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2003 29 November :: 11.20pm
:: Mood: busy
Piccies!! o.~
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6 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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sendmemoney
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2003 27 November :: 3.54am
:: Mood: exhausted
i should have known when my first tire exploded that it was time to let go but sometimes i'm too emotional for my own good . i figured that the warnings didn't apply to me , and things would be different if i just had a little faith , so i went the distance and i learned my lesson the hard way . too bad everything in life can't be solved by scraping up $47.40 and waiting 45 minutes .
1 TOUCH THE WATER!!! |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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orfwashere
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2003 27 November :: 12.14am
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: Spring Heeled Jack
Mmm... Thanksgiving
by far, the greatest holiday.
For the last seven years, it's involved waking up, putting on a pair of shorts, eating within a half hour of waking up, watching football, and falling asleep while watching football.
[Greatest Holiday Ever]
I hope somebody got that. Anyway.... I got accepted into FAU yesterday at the on-site deal. Definately a sad day for college admissions. It wasn't even a decision. She just looked at my SAT score and gave me an instant yes. Didn't even look at my application. Wasn't interested in community service hours (which I have none of) or my essay (which I didn't write). Didn't even care that I'm sitting at a 2.6 GPA. Apparently colleges calculate grade point averages differently, and all the honors and ap classes I've taken bring it up to around a 3.1. That led her to tell me that I'm eligable for a scholarship, and would most likely revcieve a whopping $2500 from them. The fact that I won't get Bright Futures makes that money almost as valuable as gold... or rather platinum. It's a nice deal, but I'm still somewhat disturbed by how that school is impressed with me. For real, me.... come on. It really makes me not want to go there, but it's comforting to know I have a fall-back option if I don't get accepted to a school I really want to go to.
Well thats the positive part of what I had to say. I'll save the negative for after the holiday. I'm not in the mood to be depressed. Whatever sense that last sentence makes.... well I don't know. Enough
-A.J.
1 TOUCH THE WATER!!! |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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Beagle147
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2003 26 November :: 10.16pm
:: Mood: amused
Oh man. What a day.
We woke up semi-early and got a very late start. We also got lost on the way there, and today is the most travelled day of the year, so we were a little over an hour late getting to Ziggy Beagle Rescue. When we got there though, Carol was outside with another lady and a beagle. This lady had just taken off work and driven and hour and a half to deliver this beagle she saved from a shelter. He was to be put down this morning.
After they finished up, we went into the yard and carol came out with Hershey. She was all happy to see us and whatnot. We put her new harness and leash on her and signed the adoption papers. Carol and her husband, who really remind me of that hick couple in that famous painting, you know, with the pitchfork, said their goodbyes, and we were off on the road. From Melbourne. She was really good in the car. She mostly sat on the floor behind the drivers seat and took a nap.
We got home and took hershey and sasha down the street so they could meet on "neutral ground." It went...ok. Sasha's a little hyper. And by a little, I mean most other dogs find her obnoxious. So Hershey kinda barked at her a little, growled a little, nothing too serious. We took them home and let Hershey smell around (She is a beagle, after all) while both dogs were on leashes. Then we took them both out back to check that out. Sasha was still kinda bothering hershey because hershey was trying to check out the place, but Sasha already knew the place, so the only thing there that was exciting for her was Hershey. So there were a few more barks, but it was all good. No all out brawls. So we brought them back in and let them off their leashes, and it went pretty well. There was a little conflict over the bone issue. Sasha has her bones, and that's all she plays with since anything else we give her is gone within 2 minutes. Pit bull jaws. So Hershey apparently really likes these bones. We brought out a new one for her because I was worried about Sasha getting jealous that Hershey was chewing her bone, but then of course all that sasha wanted was the new bone. I should have seen that coming. So hershey had a hold of the new bone, and sasha, being as naive as she is, went right up and grabbed the other end. That lasted about 3 seconds. Hershey growled first, then snapped. Sasha had this classic look on her face. "=-O WTF?!" Then Hershey went back to playing with the bone. After that though they took turns with the new bone. As soon as one dog would get up the other would go grab that bone. Pretty funny.
So anyway, after a while things started to quiet down. My mom and brother went to the store, and I was here basically alone with the dogs (my dad doesnt count, since he was against the dog in the first place and is refusing to have anything to do with it pretty much). Hershey was knocked out, absolutely exhausted from the day, Sasha was out in the kitchen begging my dad for pizza crusts. All of the sudden, BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW!!! I knew it wasnt Sasha barking, and all I thought was OMG! Hershey's gonna kill Sasha! I hadn't heard her bay like that since we brought her home! (Beagles bay, they don't really bark) I turned around, and Hershey was in my mom's room, under the bed, still baying her little head off. The cat. The cat had decided to make an appearance. Apparently, Hershey hates cats. That took care of my dad not wanting anything to do with her. He thinks beagles are now the greatest things since sliced bread. That poor cat. She's used to sasha chasing her under the bed, there's just one thing different: Hershey can fit under the bed. That dog gets the greatest pleasure out of seeing that cat run. It's awesome. So anyway, I was trying to get Hershey out from halfway-under the bed, and as soon as I said something to her, Sasha came running in. So now I have a hyper pit bull, a baying beagle, and a hissing cat, all in the house that jack built. (props if you got that) I was trying to get Hershey out first, because I didn't feel like a trip to the vet, so I didn't want her to bite the cat tonight, and Sasha was just plain getting in the way. So finally I grabbed each one by the scruff of the neck and dragged them out of the room and closed the door. Now I had one overly hyper dog in each hand. I let go of Hershey first, because she's the calmer of the two, and I was just like Sasha, CALM DOWN. Ahh, that was fun. Comical. My dad sat in the kitchen and just laughed and laughed. Two dogs are fun.
I can't wait till you guys all get to see her in person! She LOVES people so much. She doesn't just wag her tail, her entire back end shakes. It's so funny.
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Look at those beagle ears. Love 'em.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody! XD
5 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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tboblp
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2003 25 November :: 1.14pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: That rap song where they say 'chillin at the Holiday Inn'
I just wanted to get a more positive sounding entry in, so...
Finally we have reached Thanksgiving break, I know its only 3 extra days, but It gives time for some of my family to come in and a well needed break from school, Atlantic and PBCC. Finally got my clear lights for my car, just need to save a few bucks for the red and yellow bulbs (white bulbs on turn signals and side markers are illegal).
I watched drumline which was kind of a cool movie. The only thing I didn't like about it was that it had to be a 'black movie'. I'm not racist or anything, but you know how for some movies, thats the only way to describe them? barbershop, friday? anyone? All the bands played rap music except for one, and they ended up playing old school soul near the end. I just liked it because it was about percussion which was cool. The movie itself wasnt that great at all tho.
For some reason I've been having these elaborate day-dreams of playing in a band. But it's more specific. I'm in Charleston, S.C. (no surprise there), at some local bar and I'm playing a cover of 'Sweet Home Chicago'. And when it's over people want to hear another song, so I just start playing on a groove. Really funky ya know, and everybody is into it and I'm playing like I've never played before. And then I notice just one girl in the back not responding at all. So afterwards I walk over to her to ask her if she enjoyed the show and she would say one thing that just completely blows me away, but in ny dream I don't know what it is that she says. But I believe that is how I would meet the person that I connect with. So much between two people can ride on a single statement where it brings everything together. But what, oh, what did she say to me??
1 TOUCH THE WATER!!! |
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adiosesposito
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2003 24 November :: 11.55pm
:: Music: king geedorah
As the Thanksgiving holiday is almost upon us, I seem to be happier on the outside and more and more depressed on the inside. It's really pathetic why, but of course I've fallen victim to the number one source of depression in white males ages 12-18 who get good grades and don't do drugs: girls. For awhile I was clean- I didn't really have a yearning for the comfort of another. Relationships in high school seemed to be pointless to me, and I've never been one to indulge in one-night stands just to get a slice. I was jonesin for a girl near the end of the last school year, but summer kind of made me stop craving for her or anyone.
But over the last few months, that hankering for a girl has come back. See, it would be easier for me if it was various girls who popped in my mind as possibilities to date, but more and more it has become one girl again, the same one from last year. And it is ever-so slowly killing my soul.
I retract my earlier comment, about how I thought relationships in high school were pointless. One of the problems I have is I don't want to date a girl just for a short period of time-even say three months. I want to build a relationship, I think. I want to be able to have someone to call on nights like these when I'm bored and know how their day went. I want to be able to have someone to call on nights when I wasn't bored, when I had a great deal of work, yet all I wanted to hear is how their day went. I want to be able to spend my friday nights, every week, doing something with someone, be it watching her favorite movies or going to some bad Japanese restaurant. I want to have a reason to buy a 5 foot tall teddy bear on some random day just because it was their birthday. I realize now that I've being saying someone, but in truth, for me right now, it's just one girl.
I know they don't want to be mentioned in my journal, but just using them as a case example, I want a relationship akin to Holly and Andrew's. They are best friends, they can make fun of each other, but most importantly, they seem to share some interests and truly seem to love each other, if love can be found at such a young age. Maybe the main reason I've never had a girlfriend, looks aside, is that I've never found a girl who I truly shared interests with. There hasn't been a girl that I just thought to myself "Wow, we are perfect for each other." I know that there is a girl out there who listens to the same bands I listen to, loves the same movies I do, and thinks the Bengals are actually a pretty darn good football team; however, I have not found that girl as of yet. As John Cusack said in High Fidelity, all of the above things do matter, in contrast to what some people may think.
So I gave up on finding a girl who shared many similar interests with me. Everything was going great, and then I had to find a pretty girl like her. Sure,there are girls who I've found hotter or sexier, but I don't know, I guess she seems to be different. Sort of like an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, if you'd like me to wax faux-intellectual. It took me so long to just say I like her, as I always tried to go around that word. I don't know why I like her, I don't know why she's different from other quiet cuties, I don't know why I can't find any courage to talk to her; it's just reality for me as of now. Seriously, I feel ashamed of myself, whining about it to my friends, making something as frivolous as talking to a girl seem so important, so life or death. I mean, she knows I like her, and it's basically up to me to do anything about it. Yet, everyday I say I'm going to do something about it, I say I'm going to talk to her after school, but alas, it never happens. Excuses are made on my part, but they all add up to me being just pathetic.
So as it stands right now, I am a failure, when it comes to girls at least. Maybe I should let other girls on to my radar. Or maybe I should stop being such a waste of a man and show some initiative and stop putting off the one thing I want to do until it's too late. Whatever the right thing is, and in my mind and heart, I know the latter is the right thing, but whatever the right thing is, to paraphrase Legends of the Hidden Temple, the choice is mine and mine alone.
Drew R.
4 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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Beagle147
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2003 22 November :: 8.26pm
:: Mood: Happy...wow, that's a new one.
:: Music: "How Much Is That Doggy In The Window"
Yesterday totally sucked. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
Today was good though. We went up to Ziggy Beagle Rescue, or as I like to call it, "Lauren-Heaven", in Melbourne, to see about a few dogs my mom was interested in adopting (one of). We went first to Lynne's house to see Drake, Elvis, and Buddy. Drake was kind of ...there. He wasn't overflowing with personality, and he refused to go for a walk when my mom wanted to take him outside, so that was that as far as he was concerned. Elvis was real cute, but he's scared of everything. One time a tree limb fell in the yard, and he refused to go back outside for 2 days. I was really honestly afraid that Sasha would just terrorize the poor thing. Buddy I absolutely adore. He was the sweetest thing ever. Just all friendly and affectionate and playful and everything you could want. One problem: he chews. So that was pretty much the end of that. Lynne also had 2 of her own dogs there. Gunner, a really friendly but really big (yes, Krystle, there are dogs bigger than Sasha) black lab. He was really nice. Lynne told me that she saved him from death row at a shelter. Reason for his owners, who had had him since he was a puppy, gave him up? He got too big. Don't even get me started. This is the most rediculous thing I have ever heard. That was a great dog about to be killed because of his size. IF YOU DONT WANT A BIG DOG, DONT BUY A LABRADOR RETRIEVER!! Ok, I'm better now. Lynne's mom had the funniest dog I've ever seen. Heidi, a beagle-dashchund mix. The dog was hilarious. It had all the features and coloring of a beagle, but it was about half the size, so I kept calling it a mini-Beagle. That's what it looks like. It was just a great little dog. So we left Lynne's to go to Carol's, who runs Ziggy Beagle Rescue (Lauren-Heaven). She has 40 dogs!!! That's a bit much, even for me. It was crazy. We went there specifically to see Hershey, but also to look to see if any other dog caught our eye. Carol brought hershey out, and she was absolutely adorable. She's a chocolate beagle, and just has the best personality. She was jumping up, all excited to see us, and giving us what I have named "Hershey Kisses." She was very high energy ...for about 30 seconds. Then she was on her back. "Pet my tummy!" She was just the perfect little dog for my mom, having enough laziness to sit there and be petted and do nothing for hours, but enough energy that Sasha wouldn't annoy her wanting to play all the time. We adopted her today, have a home visit tomorrow to make sure our home is beagle-friendly or something, and we leave early wednesday morning to pick her up. Happy Thanksgiving! ^_^ She's just a super-great little beagle.
Drake
Buddy
Elvis
Hershey
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tboblp
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2003 22 November :: 11.45am
:: Mood: annoyed
This computer really sucks. It's slow and there's so much wrong with it, stuff keeps crashing, the internet barely ever works. Eventually i"m gonna need to start saving for a laptop for college but i have PLENTY of time to worry about that.
So I've been accepted to FAU, FSU, and UCF so far, still waiting on UF. It wasnt really a question if I would get into these schools but its just nice to see the letters. Nice to get a reminder that I'll be out of here soon ;-) It's gonna be great not living with my parents, so much less stress.
Last night I had will and alyssa over for a while. Played NES, went to checkers, drove around, went to the mall, drove around, played more NES, watched part of 60, went online, watched TV and then it was over. Guitar lesson at 9:30 this morning. Wow, was I tired. Work at 3, and I want to do something tonight! I'm gonna be really tired tomorrow...
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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Beagle147
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2003 20 November :: 7.29pm
:: Mood: Pissed off in several degrees.
:: Music: "Hostile Apostle" -311
Math and history tests tomorrow. So I figured it was a good time to update the woohu. Procrastination is your friend.
I'm very much looking forward to tomorrow being over. Yep.
My parents are driving me absolutely insane. They just never stop having shit for me to do. And then they complain that I dont get it all done. But I can't keep doing this much work all the time. I cant stay awake forever.
I finally got some stuff accomplished this week though. I dual enrolled for next semester. Now I just have to like actually go and dual enroll at PBCC. But Atlantic knows I'm taking a course. I'm still not 100% positive I made the right decision with this though, because junior year's a bitch, and this course requires a 2000 word paper. Oh well. Too late now. I also got Ms. Youngman to put me on the list for congres. I'm still really pissed about that whole mess. Grr.
I hate not knowing what's going on. Like in terms of plans. This whole thing with dog and/or fence and/or whatever is really pissing me off. If we're gonna get a dog, we have a really good opportunity in terms of being off of school and work for Thanksgiving. We're going up saturday to look at them, and we have a home visit scheduled for sunday, but they're not gonna let us get the dog till we have a fence that's good enough for a beagle in case it tries to dig out. Originally, I was going to build the fence, which is fine with me, but I just needed to get the freaking stuff. Then yesterday, my parents decided they want the fence professionally done. Ooookay. Well my mom refuses to call the fence people till she decides on a dog. I'm like no, you should make an appointment to see if you can get the fence done on monday and then if the dog part falls through saturday you can call and cancel. Somehow this is not going through her head. If we dont call for the fence before monday, we wont be able to get the dog before thanksgiving break is over probably. Then maybe it will have to wait till christmas. I have no idea. Frankly, I dont care when/if we get a dog, I just want to know what the hell is happening and when. This pisses me off so much. Concrete sequential. I took that quiz in health class after the quiz. It was the psych quiz, but I took it in health class cuz we were bored. So I'm blaming my whole need for scheduling and knowing-what's-going-on-ness on the concrete sequentialness of my brain. See? Psych is good for some things. Unfortunately for my education in psych, it's not as easy as IB Music. So here we are.
I'm sick of school. I'm quitting. Monday. Any takers? I so can pass the ged test or w/e and go to college anyway. It works.
We bought a van yesterday. It's big. But it has a ramp in it and like everything's electronic-wise so my dad can get in it. Now we actually have some use for the new electric wheelchair. Yay.. Whatever. I'm pretty indifferent to the whole thing. Except the fact that now my dad is trying to make me wait till May to get my lisence cuz now we have 4 cars, so I would automatically be a primary driver of one of those cars, and the lease ends on the infinity in May. If I'm a "primary driver" it jacks up my insurance by like...double. I was like wtf... I dont want to wait till may to get my lisence. I'm already sick of you guys. I need to get out of this madhouse. You wanna know what my dad said? "You've already waited a year. You can wait until May." OMG. Someone shoot me. Please. I'll provide the gun. Just give me a ride to KMart. You wouldnt even have to go to jail since you could convince people it's more "euthinasia" than "murder."
I think maybe I should take the Kristen route. Get out of the country.
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