Tonight, tomorrow; The future, the past. As days flow together life seems more complete
Well. I was just on my profile page and I didn't even realize it was mine. I didn't recognize the picture. In fact I was thinking to myself what a dumb picture it was. Not really dumb, but it seems grainy and a little too intellectual.

This has been a great weekend. Starting with Thursday and running right through to now. If anyone doesn't know how my weekend started out, I'm going to tell you right now.

I guess we've made a big step on to the local scene. I almost feel badly for the fact that we don't work as hard on our stuff as some other people do. It almost feels like cheating and sometimes I feel like my musicianship doesn't matter, that I'm just hiding behind Ashley's voice. No, Thursday night Ashley, Zach, and H20 (me and Aaron)won the Battle of the Bands in Sand Lake. Fuzzy Logic took third. They were better than Ill Machine.

So Thursday I saw a bunch of people I haven't seen in awhile. It really is great because you feel like the center of attention sometimes. I'm not used to being the guy up there outfront like that. I really do think that the book that I saw about how to be a loner is true. Really, I don't like people. I don't like large groups of people, I don't like individual people. Maybe it's just the fact that I am mostly a social mosfit and do not interpret a "good time" like most other people do.

So, I can't really remember Friday. Oh, wait. Yes I do. I went with Sherry (Zach and Ashley's mom (isn't wierd that her name comes first in the name of our band, but whenever I talk about the two fo them I put his name first)) to Muskegon. If you can follow that last sentence, congrats. It was fun, mostly because she didn't know how to get to Muskegon and she worries about everything. We had to drop our tape off to WMUS to get entered in the Colgate Country Showdown. Of course, I don't know where WMUS is. So, I got her to Muskegon, via M46, but then we ended up nearly all the way to Grand Haven because neither of us knew how to get to the radio station. It was fun. Then I spent nearly an hour waiting for Kim to get out of work. We watched Goldmember. I so want a Dr. Evil sub. Before that I saw Brianna. She wished me a good weekend. I did have a good weekend, so thank you.

Saturday we didn't get out of work until 3:15 when we were suppossed to be out at 1:30. I hate my job and I should call the Mobil tomorrow to see if there is a job there. We went to Connie's uncle's house and watched fireworks. Kim went swimming, but I didn't. It was too cold even though it was like 78. I prefer it to be a little warmer with a nice breeze and overcast, besides, I didn't feel like it. Then we went into Sand Lake. To the fair. Which, in hindsight I should have vehemently oppossed. And of course, Shari is the first person that Connie picks out of the crowd. See, now I've spent the last two days explaining to Kim why this is bothering me so much. She seems to think that I haven't dealt with the issues that her and I have (Shari, not Kim). But I have and I am fine with that. Everything except for that damned guilt that was one of the biggest reasons we broke up to begin with. It was not a proud moment of my life, and that is something that I did not want her to see. Oh, and I spent one dollar to support the Tri-County pom team. Yes, I know. You would never expect that out of me. It did however give me a chance to dunk Sheila. And see how Kim throws. I gave her and Connie the first two shots at the dunk tank and then I went myself and nailed it straight on.

So, we got through that, and like I said in my last post, it doesn't matter because she loves me.

Sunday. Work, again. With Mona. Much slower than Saturday. Still didn't get out until 3pm, again, supposed to be out at 1:30. Sped down to Kim's dad's so we could make it to church by 6pm. I'm not sure if I was really in tune with what Matt was talking about. Mostly because he over illustrated most of his points. It's like after the first two examples of someone being crippled, I understood what he was talking about. But he continued with like five or six other examples. It did lead me to this conclusion though: Freedom is not the ability to do what you want, but the lack of restraint placed upon your actions. Then we were going to watch fireworks, come home to see if we could find out if they were cancelled or not due to the rain. That was 10pm. Of course I can't explain why my car was still at her dad's house, and we were at my house in her car, but hey. That's what leads to me drving through the S-curve at 2am sipping on a Coke to keep me awake. In the intervening period she taught me some things that I didn't know. But then again, that happens everyday. I'm not sure why she was wishing I was normal, but maybe for a second she did. Mostly because I knew what was going on, I just tried to act hard headed. It works it really does. To be so silly when she just wanted me to act normal. But we talked. It was good. And I let myself go. Yeah.

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