My Reflections

:: 2004 14 December :: 8.38am

Sometimes the simplest things can make your day better. I love days like that. No matter what anyone says about their self-esteem or what not, we all need some form of reassurance at times. Not too much. Because then it gets annoying. But you get what I mean. Even though I know it��s not true, it still made Patrice��s day. So yes. �� Smiles and such.

Yay for being vague. Tehe.

:: 2004 13 December :: 10.33pm

This is how i feel, dont talk to me about it

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

1 persons said it | who said that?

:: 2004 12 December :: 1.59pm
:: Mood: amused

I spent last night reading through everyone's old journal entries. It's kind of funny. We all say the same things.

We're miserable today. Today sucked. We're lonely. This person has no right to complain about how lonely they are because I have it worse. This person can't say they're having a bad day, mine's worse. I'm a bad person. Everyone hates me. No one needs me. What's the point of me being here?

We're all just lonely and miserable. I don't know. It's funny. I can't quite explain it. We're all lonely together. ::nods:: I guess. O.o

-Patrice

patrice

:: 2004 11 December :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Respect

Ok. I'm bored. So I'm going to go through random on my computer and tell you the first....20...songs it plays. Woo?

1. MMMBop
2. We Can Work It Out- Beatles
3. Now I'm Here- Queen
4. See Me, Feel Me- The Who
5. With You In Your Dreams- Hanson
6. The Real Me- The Who
7. Fly Me To The Moon- Frank Sinatra
8. You've Got A Friend- James Taylor
9. Hello Good Bye- Beatles
10. If I Only Had The Words(To Tell You)- Billy Joel
11. We Will Rock You- Queen
12. Come Together- Beatles
13. What The World Needs Now Is Love
14. Save Me- Queen
15. Ain't No Mountain
16. Imagine- John Lennon
17. Fat- Bottomed Girls- Queen
18. 100 Years- Five For Fighting
19. Hound Dog- Elvis
20. Respect- Aretha Franklin

Ok...I need to load more of my cd's onto the computer. Ok. I'll probably be back.

-Patrice

1 persons said it | who said that?

:: 2004 9 December :: 8.25am
:: Mood: Pooey

So yes. I'm here. At school. I should be home. And I could be at home. But my mom pulled the whole guilt thing when I asked to stay home today. So today better go by quickly. Just because I really don't feel like dealing with it.

You guys should all see In America. Good movie. I cried, but that's just me.

So yeah. Ryan called last night. And I wanted him to call. He calls everynight. But when he started to talk to me, I just died. I couldn't find anything to say to him. He was talking about being sick and his comic books and how much fun going to dinner was. I had a billion things I wanted to talk to him about. But he doesn't care. No one really does. Everytime I would try to tell him something, he would be distracted by something. So yeah. I gave up on talking to him. And eventually he left because he was tired and we weren't saying anything anyways. I'm fine listening to him go on about his day. I don't get bored with it. I don't know. It just feels like sometimes when I talk, he's not listening at all. Or he doesn't care. And it scares me right now that I'm freaking out about something like this. Because I know what's going to happen. He's going to get sick of my constant complaining about some event in my life. Whether it's family or friends or school. Then he'll get annoyed with my random bad moods. Then it'll be how I don't tell him when somethings bothering me. Then it'll be over. And this probably soudns so stupid to all of you reading this, but I don't care. I feel stupid right now. I don't know if I really am doing the right thing here. I really do like him. Alot. But am I doing the right thing by getting so close to him? I don't want to get uber close to someone only for them to realize how irrational I am and have them leave me. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I just walked away from this. But that's selfish of me. And I know that. I just don't want to get hurt, but by doing that I'd only hurt him. Which wouldn't be fair. I've realized that I have made myself so incredibly numb. To everything. Things that should affect me just make me shrug. It's not fair. I feel like I'm in a dream-state most of the time. That if I just close my eyes, that the world will go away. That I won't be there. That I wouldn't have to be a part of anyone's life. That I wouldn't run the risk of hurting more people. I just want to disappear. The thing is though, if I leave him, who will I have? Plus I'd miss him way too much. More then anyone knows. Even him. I don't want to be a burden on him or anyone else though. I don't know what to do.

He's not a jerk. This has nothing to do with him being a bad guy. It has to do with me.

My rant ends here. Or I'll piss people off. And that's bad

-Patrice

:: 2004 8 December :: 7.55pm

Did you know that there are more plastic flamingos than real ones in the united states?

from the book of totally usless information

:: 2004 7 December :: 2.41pm

No homewok again, althogh i really should do my columbia essay im not exactly in the right mind set to do that now...so im writing.

So woohu changed a bit since i was last here! i like it. new users have to get a code from a current user now to join. which is what ujournal and livejournal and all them have.

So, im bored. I need to take my pictures today, sorry moore but they need to get dont today.

Once again i have nothing to do today. I wish chris would call me back about the concert, hes really pissing me off, im guessing we're not going anymore... :(

I need to buy photo paper

Toki	:: 2004 5 December :: 3.03pm The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen...and stupidity. -Harlan Ellison 2 persons said it \| who said that?

mudpiegrl

:: 2004 5 December :: 4.00am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: 90.1

1.) Copy and paste this into your journal:
<*font color="yourusername"> <*b>yourusername<*/b> <*/font>
2.) (Eliminate the asterisks)
3.) See what color you are

mudpiegrl

battlestarre

woo funness...

today i went to caribou with patrice...

my plan for today was
1) buy slippers for mum for xmas
2) go to caribou, get coffee, work on paper
3) babysit

but patrice called as i pulled into target and i picked her up from her three hour "break" and i got slippers and we spent an hour in caribou, then i babysat...the paper worked itself out of it...

we talked about a lot...im glad too...

i know im going to be in trouble for this one, but she has this connection that i miss having. i had/have it with jen, but its rare i talk to her. same with sandy. and patrice. but it felt good today just to spill, and listen to her spill. with everyone else, its either one or the other, or just laughs and games. i could talk to patrice forever though. so many late nights.

babysitting was soo fun. the girls were the next door neighbours of the first people i babysat since i moved here in seventh grade. they recommend me. yay. ive never babysat just one child. two is the lowest and its gone up to five, which isnt as much as jen...but still never just one. there were two girls, both very imaginative and active. three and five and a half ( i remember when you were "five and a quarter", it was so exciting; life gets boring when you get old). they were fun. the parents were surprised that i made them clean up. they said i might possibly be the best babysitter they've ever had.

ama go sleep now.

g'night.

Anytngbtordinary

:: 2004 29 November :: 9.13pm
:: Music: Love Will Keep Us Alive- The Eagles

So Mr. Mann talked about the difference between guys and girls today.
He said that girls have so many connections in their brains...they think of every possibility and every consequence to things...guys can only concentrate on one thing at a time. His impression of a guy's mind at work was "me watch tv. She talk to me, me look away from tv and listen. Tv still on. Me watch tv. Me get up and get chips now." it was so funny!

Then he gave the guys advice saying, if you take on thing away from this class, let this be it.
He said when a girl is talking and complaining about stuff like her mom or friends or something, all a guy should do is listen. He says every guys first response is to solve things for the girl like "well why dont you try talking to her?" but he said all a girl wants is someone to listen to them,they can solve things on their own. He said guys always look for an immediate solution to things but in this case, all they should say is "Hmm, I'm really sorry thats a tough situation." Or something along those lines. It was so funny... and amazingly pretty true.
Any guys out there....listen to that.

~Jackie

:: 2004 29 November :: 8.41pm

This is the kind of week that you revel in, with the potential for plenty of drama, mystery, magic and a big dollop of romance. Jupiter trines Neptune on Monday, and gives you a lot of ideas to play with. Now you can tap into the awesome power of imagination and use this to enhance your chances of reaching your goals. Mercury, the planet of commerce and communication turns retrograde on Tuesday in Sagittarius, which may well create delays regarding career issues. The weekend will be a barrel of laughs!

Bah!

So I was showing off my goregous bracelet all day today. People were like ohhh and ahhh and i was like hehe yup :D Thats MY Spency. giggle giggle.

:: 2004 29 November :: 9.29am

My computer isnt working so im not going to do anything. (Im in Architectual Drawing...blah) yeah so the program i need to use doesnt work right on this computer and the computer that it does work on won't let me log on, so im going to try and come early tomorrow because now im going to be behind. so anyway, Gilmore Girls is on tomorrow woo! Im going to jories house 2 night woo it wont be a super boring monday night. haha, last night we went to the mall to get a gumball it was so funny, yeah thats my story, i dont really feel like actually explaining anything right now just know that it was funny. hahaha. i should work on my comtemporary fiction project its due monday and i have a lot of work to do so i shall go now. bye bye <3 Jillian!

:: 2004 28 November :: 7.33pm

Im knitting, nothing really to update about my life...bye