Uh....

:: 2005 18 October :: 4.42pm

YAYYYY Charlie's Christmas present came today. I'm excited. I have an hour till my next class. Blahhh. Nutritions was fun today. Eh I'll write more later. I'm kinda pissed.

Tails

:: 2005 18 October :: 1.12am

Dresden Dolls concert is tonight...i want to go but i dont know if anyone will be going WITH me...so i dont think im going to go and its prolly the only time they will come to grand rapids in my lifetime.

8 squirrely | have some nuts?

:: 2005 18 October :: 12.22am

So yeah, got one paper done. Nutrition analysis I'll work on tomorrow night after class. blahhhh. I think I'm really really going to like this job. Yippee. I think I'd be okay spending all day in a kitchen again, like when I had class. It's going to be great.
I was thinking today about how weird it would be to go back to high school. I wouldn't, but I mean, it just doesn't seem possible now. It seems like I've been out for a while. I'm getting married, I'm moving, I'm moving up with my career. It just seems to be going fast. Sometimes I forget what day it is then in the blink of an eye it's Friday again. Which is awesome. Life is crazy.

:: 2005 17 October :: 9.55pm

Things are WONDERFUL! Except I forgot I had a Bus. Eng. paper to write and a project for Nutrition to do...I remembered on the drive home. Guess they'll have to wait till after Laguna...
Charlie and I are all smiles now. It's good. He's working a 15 hour night tonight and probably all week. I went to my job orientation today and I will be working this Wednesday and Friday. It's going to be GREAT! I'm excited. We get paid every week though, which is wierd to be doing that again.
We're going to be saving up for a house soon. Once I start paying off stuff I can help. But Charlie's making a TON of overtime. Like 7 hours just today. Whoo wee that's cool and helpful. Ahhhh laguna is on...
I'll be on later.

10 squirrely | have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2005 17 October :: 6.03pm

Mishy made this for me. She mad tons more but I'll post them later, since this is my favorite one with one of my favorite songs on it and she just so happened to be so smart and actually put the best lyrics from the song in there too!!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

and just in case you are blind or something it says "I want you but I'm not giving in this time" and at the bottom it says "goodbye to you"

Yeah I know, it's cute.

I'm having OC withdrawls....I've watched the first and second season so many times I can repeat every line if you asked me too. I watch it everday. I'm serious. Two and a half more weeks until it's back on.

:: 2005 16 October :: 2.24pm
:: Music: Ani DiFranco

what a depressing day. as much as i want to get up and wash my face.. i just lay here in a dark room wishing i was everything that right now im lacking so bad.

my car is getting to me, i dont have a ride to work tonight. i dont know when im gonna have something to drive... my mom is bending over backwards to make it easier for me, but for godsake i've had my licene for over a year now, she shouldnt have to stress out so i can drive her car for a day... if only i was just in walking distance.

for about 20 minutes i was gonna stay home, brandi was gonna cover for me, and i was gonna pick up her wednesday... but then i realized that i would rather go to work depressed and upset and beable to see him on wednesday. but thats just me, thats just a sacrifice that i'm willing to make so we can spend time together. whatever.

i just want it to be winter so i can come home and bundle up and drink hot chocolate and chai and not feel guilty about NOT being outside on a beautiful day.

i've been thinking about college alot lately. i dont know what im going to do. im a fucking senior.. and i have no idea what i want to do after high school. something about that terrifies me immensely.

i just want to be out of here. away from everything that i've always known, or maybe everything that i've never truely known.

onceagainistandalone

:: 2005 16 October :: 12.58pm

my sister was telling me the other day that like a year and a half ago she felt restless with life and started praying for god to give her a kick in the ass..you know, something to move her on the next phase of her life. Just like that, she got pregnant with the most beautiful little girl i have ever seen.

yeah. thats what i need. not to get pregnant though.

i just feel like im doing nothing.
well its not really a feeling i guess, more like the truth.

anyway.

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

:: 2005 15 October :: 9.34pm

Way to make me feel better dad! No, I just wanted to know if he even would cancel going for me. Now I know. I wouldn't have let him. But still, I just wanted to know. Silly me. I'm just a girl. I'll ALWAYS be here.

Anyway, I have a new job, and a new tattoo. Yippee!!!! I got it today at Wicked Ways. The guy Matt, he's pretty cool. I was laying down the whole time and holding onto Charlie's hand going "Oh god oh god oh god". It hurt when he got to the bony part. It's a star I drew, on my ankle. And I'm very happy :-)
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

:: 2005 15 October :: 12.42pm

i guess its about time i update about homecoming. prom probably takes the cake cuz of everything we did before and after... but dancing wise... this one was the best!

me and keegan clashed, but at the same time looked really good together. the green and purple ended up looking very nice. i couldnt have been happier with my dress. it looked perfect, it wasnt to long, it fit wonderfully... *smiles. so anyways, me, keegan, stacy, brad and brandi went to timbers for dinner... i got meatloaf... heck yes! but then i made keegan trade me his steak.. giggles.

the dance turned out VERY nice. the decorations were awesome and i loved the theme. the seniors did a kick ass job.

we got our pictures taken right when we got there, hopefully it turns out good. we're not your average couple, and poses just dont work for us... so we did our own thing. thats what we usually do though... we always do our own thing...

but yeah.. the dance was great.. i danced with keegan all night.. almost as if nobody else was around. and the last song they played "you look wonderful tonight" is one of our songs.. so the night just ended perfectly. i got really good pictures, AND when keegan started break dancing... i didnt even get pushed the back of the circle... laughs.. i could actually SEE! its so cool that he does that.. i feel so cool dating him. *laughs again* i've never felt this way before.. or have ever thought that my boyfriend was cooler than me... its just amazing to think... wow, im dating keegan. i have to tell myself that from time to time...... he's so incredible.. and we're incredible together.

after the dance we just went back to keegans house and went to sleep. we were to tired to go bowling... and just feeling him close to me is all i need to make the night perfect... i know im overusing that word... but its the only word that fits.

the other day we went to klackle orchards and got pumpkins, donuts, apples, and gourds. it was so much fun. we got to ride in the "enchanted" pumpkins out to the pumpkin patch. keegans pumpkin is HUGE and mine WAS perfect until SOMEBODY broke the stem off. pshhh. but yeah.. that was a really fun day.

then last night after i got out of work we rented Crash and Call Me... we only watched Call ME cuz there was no way we were stayin up for two movies. it was ok.. but it really should have been classified as porn. lol. it was a BIT graphic to say the least. ahh well... what can ya do right?

so right now shelby has a bunch of little friends over because she turned 5 on monday... *tears.. she grows so fast* so todays her little birthday party. i have to go to work tonight... which i dont want to do... but when i get out we'll probably watch that other movie.

the good thing about having people over is that it forces me to clean my room. usually its a disaster, but my room is seroiusly the coolest room i've seen in person.. .not trying to be conceited or anything... but its pretty kick ass. so when people are over i always gotta show it to em. scott came over with keegan today... so in otherwords i was cleaning all morning. aww it was so cute. keegan came over to do some flips for all shelbys little friends. he's just so damn cool! *giggles

bad news though.... i cant drive my car anymore. we brought it in to get the breaks checked out and they said the front and back brakes are totally shot and it also needs new brake pads and roters and all that other stuff that me, being a girl, doesnt know anything about. but yeah, the cheapest they could fix it for is 650... and my mom doesnt think its worth putting that much money into. so i think we're gonna look into getting a different car.. possible an explorer. but i'll be out of a car for about a month im guessing... not like it matters.. i dont drive very often anyways. .maybe once or twice a week... if that. but yeah... thats my story.

yeah.. so i havent updated in awhile.. as a result this entry jumps all around and sounds kinda odd... but at least ya'll got the jist of my past week. alright... bye loves.

Tails

:: 2005 15 October :: 1.24am
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: Death Cab For Cutie - Steadier Footing

it was then
I miss alot of things about my highschool life...i most of all miss the summer before junior year...and the summer after junior year...when life wasnt so fucking hard and things were kinda fun...i miss the way i was and the way i used to think about life and its hardships and its mysterious things...i miss the darkness and a way too early cerfew being enough to stay alive....god damn i miss my heart. and i miss my old true friends...the ones i dont talk to anymore because im always so tired or in class or working and i make up these lame excses when i know even if i cant move my muscles i should still call them to hang cause thats why friends do...but im afraid of how they might have changed without me. Do they still want me around at all? am i welcome near their new lives? a half a semester has passed without me in it....im sure alot of thigns and people and faces have changed...stuff cant stay the same forever. im scared

4 squirrely | have some nuts?

:: 2005 14 October :: 2.58pm
:: Music: The Used

Holy crap. I just bought Charlie's Christmas present. AHHHH :-D

It's been an interesting day.

jburt1

:: 2005 14 October :: 1.03am

What am I doing with my life?
This is my dream. Right now. The one that I'm living. I'm going to school in Chicago. But something's not right. It's not like I came here and was instantly happy. I'll admit, I am extremely satisfied with my decision to come here, and I am happy, most of the time. But sometimes I just question what I'm doing with my life.

Business. Is that what I'm meant to do for the rest of my life? Is it something I will enjoy? Do I have what it takes to be a leader in that realm? Who knows.

I'm also questioning my morals. Yeah, I go to church. Get slightly more out of it than I usually do at home. But I still drink. I still am curious when it comes to smoking pot (something i haven't done) and I am still looking to further my sexual experience. Is it bad that I want to have sex, even though I'm not in "love" or any form thereof? Would it be bad if I lost my virginity for the sake of losing it? Probably. But I still feel the pressure to lose it.

I'm not the person I envisioned myself being by any means. You know, when I was in grade school I used to picture myself being the all-star athlete in high school. What a joke. The picture i had for my college self was a self-assured, confident, all-around nice guy. As cheasy as it sounds, I thought I'd be someone of Character, Compassion, Committment. Maybe I am and I don't know it. But more than anything I am human.

I guess I just wanted to get some of this out of my system.

3 squirrely | have some nuts?

:: 2005 13 October :: 11.10pm

You don't have to want to see me. Whatever.

I have a new job now. Finally. After a month. I don't know how I did it. Now I know why you get graduation money. Haha. For times like this. Too bad I'm spending some of it on a tattoo.

Chef called me today and I go in for orientation on Monday. Andrew had a good idea about not dispaying the name of the company so when people google it they won't get my journal. So I'm just going to type what the business card says...

..."Our catering experience has expanded over 15 years of performing thousands of catering events in our "hometown" to Rome, Italy. We have catered to several Presidents of the United States and have been selected as the exclusive caterer for the Farmers Charity Classic and West Michigan Whitecaps. Whether you're planning a corporate breakfast or lunch, a picnic in the park, or a gala event for 1,000, the "--blank--" team of event planners and certified chefs are trained to bring...."blank"...to your event!

I thought that was pretty neat.
So Charlie may get the ring sooner than expected. Now I'm really thrown off as to what time he will ask! Ahh. I found what dress I want. Maybe I already put that in here. Anyway. Spring.
Panera bagels are sooooooo great!

4 squirrely | have some nuts?

tonyp.

:: 2005 13 October :: 4.32pm

well i was playin outside with sam (yes my little brother) and we had a great idea

were going to try and start a football frezbie team, well actually two (or more) teams of 6 and were gona play at the beach or in back yards.

soo if anyone is intrested leave a comment!!

7 squirrely | have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2005 13 October :: 7.03pm

It's not up to me anymore. If you really want me in your life then you'll find a way to put me there.

Yesterday at lunch everyone said that they can picture me living in Laguna Beach and they can picture me being one of the girls on the show. Then today everyone at lunch said they can imagine me being on sweet sixteen and having my birthday party like that. I sometimes can picture those things too lol. Megan was like "your just an MTV'er" lol.

Anyways I'm in a better mood now. Today I stepped on this boys(im leaving his name out of this little thing) foot while we were walking in the halls and then online he goes:

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
Umm it was kind of boring. I thought I would get in trouble for my skirt being too short but I didn't lol.

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
How was yours?

anonymous boy:
well this girl in a skirt stepped on my foot

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
aww why would she do that ;)

anonymous boy says:
i guess she thinks she isn't a bitch or something

anonymous boy:
lol

anonymous boy:
j/p

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
lol i'm not a bitch!!

anonymous boy:
j/p your not a bitch your a hottie

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
lol thanks....

He's so sweet.

<3 ashley

1 squirrel | have some nuts?

:: 2005 13 October :: 6.51am

just what i want to wake up to.

every day just keeps getting better and better.

:: 2005 13 October :: 12.55am

"We call it the suck it game, because, well, when we win, which, Will and I ALWAYS win, you get to turn to the loser and say 'suck on it'!!!!!"

"Which lever do I pull to have a safe dropped on me!?"

Gah I love this show.

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

:: 2005 13 October :: 12.46am

Awww. I love Will & Grace so much.
I love ma girls too. I had a TON of fun tonight. I'm so happy we're hanging out again. Sar-oid needs to hang out with us again too!
I'm just sad right now and I don't really know why. My body is just going crazy on me. Operation- Scare David didn't work so well but it was still fun. Stir-fry is yummy. My bed feels nice. G'night.