GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! i ALREADY DID THIS ONCE, BUT THE DAMNED SERVER FUCKED ME IN THE ASS...IT TOOK ME AN HOUR BEFOREHAND TO DO IT...DAMMIT! AND I KNOW THAT I'M NOT GOING TO COVER ALL THAT I HAD COVERED BEFORE HAND! ARGH!

Here it goes...

Today at school, I didn't fall asleep, save for an instance in American Studies, where the Vietnam packet put me to sleep...my mouth was open, and left me with a sore throat...Upon my waking, Daniel managed to somehow piss me off by imitating my breathing and the look of me...I dont know why, but it sure did make me want to punch him and whack him very hard...Kern gave me back my book, which I promptly finished...but to much of my dismay, it is forcing me to wait in stong anticipation for a week, a week where I'm going to be waiting for Abhorsen to come into work, and for me to finish A Farewell to Arms...stupid gripping books...

After school, I went to work...work sucks...I need a peer to work with...I can only obtain a certain amount of joy from older women...Melody sort-of answered that urge, but it now seems as if she has stopped coming in...and she probably wouldn't be there while I am...oh well...as low stress as this job is, it is a pretty lonely job...for me at least...it gets less lonely when people stop by...like Chris did today...we chatted for awhile, mainly about his schedual for school, and then a little about my addiction...he left after about 10 minutes or so...having him come in and chat with me made me realize something...and that something made me a little happy, about myself that is...(more on that later...perhaps, if I feel like it)...it sure is nice, having friends come to visit me at work, even if it is for a short amount of time...usually brightens my day up...

After work, I got a call from my dad that we should go get a bite to eat...he suggested Big Boy and I agreed...I called him right back and said that we should go to the mall...he agreed this time, and we went...I got there ahead of him, so went into Walden Books...however, on my way into Walden Books, I saw Lauren through a window, shoe shopping...she waved, I waved, she asked me how I was, I said fine, I asked her, she said fine...it was good, good to see people's expressions change completely when they see you...anywho, I checked out 2 triologies that I will be buying soon...when I'm done with my tome and my insurance payment...they are: Garth Nix's The Abhorsen Trilogy and Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy...I ate Luca's with my dad, and we talked, mainly about Vietnam war...I suggested to him that he should come into our AS class to talk about the war, seeing as he was part of the service and was very close to Vietnam (Okinawa, Japan)...he never experienced combat, so his view would be different than that of the three vets coming in who have combat experience...

I came home...and then I came to the computer...and then, for some reason, my body freaked the fuck out...right when I sat down, my heart jumped into my throat and started racing...I got very dizzy, and the vision blurred...my stomach tightened and knotted, forcing bile up into my throat...my pulse and blood pressure increased, and I started breathing heavily...my body began to itch all over (as if I had just embarrassed myself) and I could feel blood rushing to my head, as if I were blushing...my face got hot and red...it scared me...I have no clue what happened...

Back onto the subject of school, in band, Mr. Headley decided it would be a good idea to put me into a brass quintet, along with Karen, Ashleigh, Samir, and Ian...not only this, but the music he gave us sucks...it isnt fun, doesn't sound cool, and isn't challenging...it almost is as if he is insulting our playing ability...and speaking ofwhich, while I was at the library yesterday, talking with Megan, she asked me a surprising question...she asked me why I was so amazing on the bassoon...that came as a surprise...I do not think of myself being amazing, and I didn't know that others thought that highly of my abilities...not that it is going to to go my head, but it was cool...

Speaking of school, I came into band and saw that Sara wasn't there...that frightened me...because, if you didn't know, her and I got into it Saturday night/Sunday morning, leaving me feeling down and angry, and her extremely mad at me...I hadn't talked to her since then, and was worried that another day would pass without interaction between her and I...well, she came into Chemistry 3rd period, and when she came in, I couldn't tell is she was still angry with me or not...well, she wasn't...later in class, she quickly opened her binder, and handed me a piece of paper that had been folded in half...in it, it said "I'm sorry Doug"...needless to say, that made me happy...it also made me feel rather...interesting...not a bad interesting...that definitely made my day better...

Carmen and a few other kids were working on the JH production of Annie...so that meant Carmen would not be in school today...she had a card that she wanted signed by the AP class of hers and Esther's, in hopes that it would brighten Esther up...I bet it did...since she wasn't going to be in school, we were on the phone last night trying to figure out how I could come in the morning and pick up the card...then she realized that she had to take her brother to school...I managed to see her in band, making it atleast once I'd see her today...she was coming into AS though, so I would see her there...we walked around after school, talking for awhile...Later on in the night, while I'm working on my paper for AS, she calls me, saying that she needs a ride up to her car in Toledo...I was happy to drop was I was doing and take her, but she wouldn't have that, and nor would my dad...it made me sad, so I apologized...she got a ride somehow else, but it would have been fun to get out of the house for today...other than work, or course...no hug for today...

Brittany scratched my back today...and talked to me on the phone last night too...For some reason, we talked about people's crushes...I wish I had more classes with Brittany, like last year...5 classes...I miss it...luckily, I sit next to her in AS, because Lauren was willing to switch with me, so she could sit near Kara...so it turned out well...

Upon reading today's Penny Arcade (http://www.penny-arcade.com/), I became rather saddened...I miss that old school Sonic that captured many hours of mine and my friends' youths...if only people made good video games again, and the general public actually had a taste for good games, I'd be happy...The general public just likes whatever is put out, and buys it...so why should a company change their tactics? Money is all that matters, right? Wrong! It's the whole feeling you get, along as uphold legacy that producer gains...maybe the future will hold more for us...

And I know I left something out that I originally had in here...

Quote of the day:
"And yet his joy is empty and sad."

6 heartless bastards | crush me