XxManifested.TearzxX

10 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 29 September :: 8.02pm
:: Music: grateful dead `althea

so true...

maybe in a different light
you could see me stand on my own again
'cause now I can see
you were the antidote that got me by
something strong like a drug that got me high

I never really wanted you to see
the screwed up side of me that I keep
locked inside of me so deep
it always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
so many things you should have known

what I really meant to say
is I'm sorry for the way I am

jus4fun06

:: 2004 29 September :: 5.32pm
:: Mood: mature

this is what i wrote last year this time
------**--------
Something is wrong with me. I cried a lot last night. All cuz of him. I feel so pathetic. Is it so wrong to still want him? Wat I need is for him to yell at me or something. If he called me a bitch to my face or made out infront of me, maybe I would be able to accept that he DOES NOT like me!!! Yesterday, I was walking past him and after I walked past he followed me, going to his third period class. Hes never done that before. He walked be hin dme. I thought he was behind me so I turned to see him and I gave him a confused look, like is he following me? And he said, heyhey. And I said hi and he smiled at me and said, you better say hi to me. I was confused and looked it and he jus laughed and smiled. I miss him~

----**-----

thoughts on it now

awww. i sound so cute. i do miss him still but not as bad as i did before. i wish i still did talk to my ex, but ya kno, you cant ask for everything. last year i kno he did care for me a lil afterwards. i mean why else would we like be friends with benifits for another year? wow, think abou it. we became friends with benifits until about a year after we broke up. so technically ive been with him for like two years. hmm. well its ok. im over and im glad i am over him.

another thing that has changed about me is the way i deal with things. last year, everything made me depressed. i was so depressed last year. this year i hang out with all these "townies". the nice ones that is. hmm well ya. later~

2 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 28 September :: 10.07pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: The Doors ` You make me real

New Layout..

let me know what you think.

yess.. comments... keep them cominggg :-)

mL <3

jus4fun06

:: 2004 28 September :: 8.59pm
:: Mood: sad

wantign what you cant have is the worst thing ever
i jus want him.

is that so wrong?

i dont want to mess anythign up though...

2 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

xonixieox

:: 2004 27 September :: 9.05pm
:: Music: shadow x ashlee simpson

so.. so much to write about..

yesterday was my first day of work.. it wasnt all that horrible..i bagged for meg and fenelly so it was all good...

sleep over at kims last night before the game! me and traci stayed up soooooooooo late becasue she kept laughing and i couldnt stop hickuping!! hahhahahahahaahha it was so funny! we went out onto the roof with anna and hung out and just talked for a little while! it was wicked fun! kimmi has a new kitten named "regan" but its true name is hallion staleiooonn.. lmao rigghhht kimmi? lol it is the cutest fucking cat ever!!

Hallion

ya so i "talked" to emme but it wasnt really talking cuz we just commented to eachother in her journal but i really hope everything is all set and better cuz i love that child!

...

ok so fucking today at lunch joe ripped my 5 and the lunch lady was like "ahhh these girls shouldnt let the boys take their money and rip it they should hold it" and she fuckin thought i wouldnt hear her.. i was like escuse me i had it in my hand and he ripped it out! what a dtupid cunt it was so funny! shes a fucking lunch money.. that 5 was proboly what she makes a fucking day!! lmao!!!

ok thats all for now

leave comments if you love me!

-Nik

:: 2004 27 September :: 3.25pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: UB40 - Red Red Wine :)

Kelly has invaded.
Kelly is on Emily's sn sn sn Kelly is on
Emily's sn dom dom dom

|sings|

I'm awesome.

cocopuff

:: 2004 27 September :: 6.46am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: none...

hello

lol its been a while since i wrote in here again... seems like i writein it like once a mounth... but i decided to say hello bright and early.. now im off to school

xoxchubbyxox

:: 2004 26 September :: 12.59pm
:: Mood: thirsty
:: Music: thamkful: kelly clarkson

needed to update
hello i dont have much to say. school is still no fun lol. i went to the movies yesterday and saw cellular with my neighbor caileigh and then we just basically hung around till like 1130 :-D. haha most fun ive had in awhile. anyway i dont hvae anything else to say so ill update later :) .

6 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 26 September :: 9.59am
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Hilary Duff `Fly

Update...

Yesterday before I left for work Joey came to see me for like 5 minutes but then he had to go cause I was late.. n then I guess he came to visit me at work but I was upstairs doing orientation, and no one bothered to tell me he stopped by when I came down, lol. So then he showed up and I was like wow how random. So he called me when I got out of work, and then I went to the mall to get new noserings and Friendly's - and the fuckers didnt even give me my grilled cheese... just a big container of fries, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. So last night was pretty bad. Ohh but it gets worse.. when I went to clean the new nosering in the sink I accidently dropped it down the drain, HAH can you say DUMB. yeah, so then I had to put some weird rainbow tinted colored one in but that's okay, that's what I get for being a complete idiot. So then after hours of stress, I got a ride to Joey's nanas because my brother was driving up to Hollywood video with his friends. It was fun, I love his family their so Italian and so nice :-)

Last night was Goncha's birthday party - but I couldn't go cuz I got home so late and my mom wouldn't drive me. Then I had that whole issue with my nose ring that took me about an hour to fix. The little diamond in the nosestud fell out and the inside started turning all green n shit it was gross... n the hole was all swollen and it started to bleed when I took it out :[ meh

But anyways today after work I'm going to Party City to get her some balloons and then tonight I'm dying Meg's hair for her-it's gonna be fun :-)

LEAVE COMMENTS! I'm not even kidding people, this thing is so boring and if you all like reading it so much you better start leaving comments or else I'm gonna get rid of it again!

:: 2004 26 September :: 9.43am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: eminem...

mea
so yesterday was interesting...gui came over with ben..then left...then came over with Ryan, they were here for a lil while..i think that me and ryan are good now, which makes me very happy..
once they left.. my mom came home, then we went out...

OMG we went to stop and shop and i got to see Valerie,her sister and brother, Cassie,Meggy and Kelsey...ahh i was SOOOO happy..i hadn't seen val or cassie since like fuckin....freshman year ahh omg i missed them SOOOO MUCHH ahh i love you girlz!!!

i was talking to Gui last nite for a lil bit, about a lot of stuff thats happening right now...hes in a messed up position right now,and imma try to help him..cuz Gui's one of my best friends, lol i love you gui!

well i think i am going to go now...
leave a comment if u'd like..
pcce
-emmyd

6 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

xonixieox

:: 2004 26 September :: 8.36am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: what would you do x City high

fuck life
fuck friends.. fuck bean.. fuck everyone.. FUCK life!

im so sick of this shit.. all i tried to do was stick up for a friend.. (everyone knows what im talking about) and so now its fucking MY FAULT??? thats fucking bull shit and if you were really a good friend that you would not be blaming me for this shit... ahhhhhh whatever FUCK YOU!!! im done with you and your shit! i cant even fucking take this anymore..

this is fucking rediculus... next itme anyone needs help or is in trouble or anything dont even bother looking to me becasue im done with helping people out and sticking up for them becasue this shit is fucked up and i fucking hate everyone..

never again...

i dont even know why i keep a fucking journal... its fucked up anyways.. just like my life!!

fuck this im done with you

... well yesterday i had a little fun... sort of..

- Nik :( :( :(

2 Xx.Will.Be.My.xXxX | xX.Inspiration.Xx

:: 2004 25 September :: 11.56am
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: eminem shit....

ahh
gui and ben randomly came to my house this mornin haha gui called and woke me up and told me they were coming..i was like umm okay lol so we all chilled here for a lil bit..then they left cuz gui had to go to the gym and meet ryan i think...

last nite i chilled with Jeshia..lol we went to the mall..she got her new cell phone, cuz hers fell in water lol..we saw manda there and som other pplzz...

wow just got in ANOTHER huge fight with my mom..she told me once again that her mistake was having kids, meaning me cuz she loves peter and mark...but not me as she says....yea i fucking hate her too

every1 has been making me frustrated lately..then once i snap i say things i dont mean..so sorry if i said ne shit to any of u ppl lately that was mean..lol

umm ryan if ur reading this, which u mite be, um i hope u kno that i didnt text her saying anything to her, i would never do that..im sorry if u think that i did, but u must really not know me all too well...i really dont want you to be pissed at me, cuz i figured we could still always be good friends, but if u dont want to be...then w\e...i hope its not like that tho...im sorry for whatever i did to you..

well i think im gunna go now :-\
i wanna go out tonite..anyone wanna chill?
leave a comment...
-emily

:: 2004 25 September :: 9.41am
:: Mood: tired

last night

[pic `1]

[pic `2]

:: 2004 24 September :: 3.14pm
:: Mood: THRILLED
:: Music: none

yeaaaah
I'm trippin face tonight ha haaa :-D

:: 2004 23 September :: 10.17pm

Pictures from nikkie's camera <3

[andrea nikkie n` me]

[nikkie n` me - cause we're cool hah]

[me andrea n` jimmy]

[nikkie n`me]

[liz kate n` me - w. my eyes closed hah]

[manda me n` nikkie]

[manda sarah n` nikkie]

[sarah n` emme]

[tracii n` me]

[tracii n` nikkie]

:: 2004 23 September :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: stoned
:: Music: Hilary Duff `Fly

Welcome back. :-)
Any moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of your yesterday

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?

[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can
deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly

All your worries, leave them somewhere else
Find a dream you can follow
Reach for something when there's
nothing left and the world's feeling hollow

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?

[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can
deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly

And when your down and feeling low,
just want to run away
Trust yourself and don't give up
You know you better than anyone else

Any moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of yesterday

[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can
deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly

Fly
Forget about the reasons why you
can deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly

Any moment everything can change

yeah I love that song. anyways I found this layout and fell in love :-) so I decided to start updating again cause people have asked. If you all don't leave me oodles of comments though I'll get bored of this again, so make sure you do!

much love

:: 2004 23 September :: 9.58pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: nothing :-(

whatever...
i dont care anymore..

but i do...
ughh if ne of u remember how i was in like...febuary and march and april..and how like wierd i was (u kno wat i mean)

..its happening again..

katie i cant help it anymore...i want to um..do sumthing that i kno i shouldnt do..i think u mite kno wat im talking about :-\

why..why whyy....omg i cant even put things into words anymore...my head is just ugh- so many things goin thru it..emotions...HATE...saddness..mad...ugh :-(

guis helpin me thru it tho, lol hes so coooool lol i love you gui, im ALWAYS here for you!

people really need to NOT talk shit anymore..seriously wtf..i love how sumhow EVERYONE in fuckin natick high knows wat the fuck is happening in my life..AND IM NOT FUCKING FRIENDS WITH THEM...hmm wonder how the fuck they know...i have a guess...ughh yea that stupid...AHH NVM I WONT SAY IT

ughh u kno wat im fuckin sick of sooo much shit :-( nothing is good anymore! everything is fucked up! once i get happy, sumthing happens, and ruins everything :-\ all the time mann i really dont like it...

im going to talk to gui now lol and helena...
-emily :-\

:: 2004 22 September :: 7.28pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: welcome to my life...

la la la
just made my mom buy me a ring :-) haha she says i HAVE to get a job now...thats um not cool

today in school was pretty gay..haha i stayed after with heidi for a lil bit then i talked to katie on the fone for an hour...haha THEN serge called and i told him to come with fil haha so they came...and we sat around for a lil bit...then serge drove us all home :-) hes just so nice like that haha

aww i like having serge and katie being happy :-) haha its like old times again...me serge katie and fil..just all chillin' lol good times...good times..

today..wow Heidi was sooo pissed at like..madd ppl but mainly like maybe 3...haha sum freshman chick and um 2 other people..that wont be mentioned i told her not to be mad or anything but she OF COURSE wont listen to me, she was gunna start shit but i was like um no dont ever do that lol

i wish today was thursday..so tomaro could be friday and then it would be the weekend...and i can finally relax..
ugh i have so much homework tonite..and i havent done shit cuz i was at school for fuckin..forever

well im out....
byez

xonixieox

:: 2004 22 September :: 6.41pm

wow i havnt written in a while! ok so i got a job at stop and shop for weekends until i go back to the beach! which by the way i cant wait for! ya so im also wicked excited for my sweet 16! and my liscence! i start drivers ed and work boththis saturday!! yipieeeee!!

ok well i have bee ntaking a CRAZY amount of pictures lately so heres the link so you can just look at them rather then me putting them all on here!

PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok thats all for now!

-Nik