yesterday i was at school till 530 me n nikki stayed in chem and we got double go's and stuff go'd!! yay ok today i went to school and stephnaie took me home.. than i came home and left to get my hair done it took 2 1/2 hours!! gosh dang it than me n my mom went to walgreens and the food place. than kelly yelled at me and im trying to get her to not yell at me ne more so ill ttul bye bye
x0Xo

friday was ok i hung out with friends the end of the night got bad though and stuff saturday was good until the night time and today was only like 5 mins of being bad during the day.. last night kelly slept over and than we went to walmart than church we came home and steph came over and we spent the day on the boat it was soooooo funny lol we like gained a million new inside jokes!!! than after the boat we went to mc donalds than got candy thn stephanie left and kelly stayed for a little than she left than a big conflict brewed between the usual people for the same reason its really getting annoying too. kelly is my best friend and when she is sad i get sad too.. and when she calls me sad i help her.. and she calls me crying or mad and its for the SAME REASON AND SAME PERSON! holy fat cow you know who you are cant you just STOP DOING THIS god damn!!!!!!!! im sorry i got mad i still am mad but whatever... anyway i got tanner and that is the only thing keeping me from bursting out in tears... that and melted marshmellows and gram crackers which is the thing keeping me sane. dont i sound liek a loser? me n 'trixie' are friends again.. i think she listened to me and everyone else so i am proud of her and me n kelly.. i am proud of us bc we acted responsably and than told my parents about it... and they werent mad they were proud of us so yay! i polished my nails.. they actually look ok and the polish kinda stayed on the nail this time! hmmm what else do i say? MY BDAY IS NEXT MONTH!!! i am like soooo wow! but im so mad bc i could be getting my liscence but nooo i had to wait until july! isnt that just dumb i think it is! and i love melted marshmellows but i wish i was a marshmellow.... bye!!
x0Xo

anyway people moving on with life.. its been ok btw.. yesterday was the best day i had in a while starting with the very morning me n joy and deena and brianne were at the window in mrs ob's where ppl enter school the window was open so to like every person that passed brianne would be like '{name} this is the voice of god... give me cake!' it was soooooooo funny she was dying for a priest to come by... i got a B on my spanish TEST!!! yay i got to tell richard to shut up and it was the best thing ever (when i punch him and break his nose it will be so much better)
hello fellow aussies! this is now lauren and i think its mean to nreak otherd noses!
--moving on.. this is lisa again btw donnie said something actually NICE to me and jordan wasnt in class today wow hat was probably the best and idk other stuff happened but it was just awesome!! today was ok too alright im off to walk with lauren

x0Xo

-im a slut.. thats who i am there is nothing wrong with it and its who i am and what i want to be-.... can you actually imagine someone saying that! it seemed like freaking yesterday meghan and cristalyn told everyone including my mom that i wasnt a virgin and i had sex with like 500 different guys! btw no i am not a slut.. but my friend is on her way to that... and im not saying who she is bc only her and another person know who i am referring to in this case we shall call her trixie bc i like that name... ok well trixie is doing all this stuff with guys she just met... and its scaring me and i tried to tell her how i felt but she yelled at me and told me i shouldnt care what people thought well i dont care! but this is different.. it is low in self respect AND it is very VERY dangerous! like trixie one day just met a guy and within like not even 4 hrs of knowing him she saw him naked, made out with him and let him go down her pants! DIDNT KNOW HIM FOR 4 HOURS! holy fat cow! i mean if you were me would you be worried about trixie too? or is it me!!!!??? bc if its me than gosh dang it you people are wierd and i need to find new friends! bc if that was me that was trixie would any of you care? i suuure hope so! bc trixie you know who you are and i love you soo much like my sister and your right its your life but i dont want to see you regret it when your older bc you will and i know you will... but anyway.. moving on like idk what to say... yesterday was bad i even made a list lol it all started when i waled into the door... ok we wont get into that day... but trixie pleeease take into consideration what i said bc i do care about you...

p.s nikki is married to nelson.. she is now nikki bolumboo!! hehe andim married to meana she is my wife forever!! lol x0Xo

lets put it this way... if you like some guy and love another just get yourself out of it while you still can... or if you recently think your over someone and starting to like someone else dont say anything until your ABSOLUTLY sure that it will be ok... yeah well the weekend was great! but i guess it was a fake kind of great which isnt that good i guess.. idk but sunday was probably the worst day but good at the same time idk how much sence that makes but like i slept over kellys last night and we went out to eat and came home my dad was there and he took us to a picnic and i got eyeliner all over my face and it looked like i got in a fight thats what my dad thought but no i didnt... and well today was full of bad news and i wish i didnt know at all but whatever it dosnt matter anymore... its kinda amazing how much people dont care except for a few people

<3 meana kelly lauren sara steven nikki lina stephanie derek <3
thanks so much you guys it means so much to me you all have no idea

today hmm school was fun. it went by.. im confused about boys but who isnt. lina said she thinks nathan likes me bc he flirts with me alot and that i should go out w/ him.. but i told her that even if i did like him and if i was ever willing to go out with him that would be so wrong of me bc she likes him and she kept saying 'i have a bf' over and over and im like you still like him and its still wrong! but going on.. i came home with stephanie bc we were kinda hanging out and than i went home and meana asked me to go for a walk so we did and we didnt really talk about anything specific we just danced around and sung and stuff and we were outside for like 2 hours. i came home cleaned my room and did HW bc i realized im slipping in school! thats BAD so thanks to cynthia who like yelled at me for slipping i am catching up!! and i took a shower and braided my whooole head.. ok anyway onward how i feel now crushed.. not neccisarily crushed just confused but upset lets see... i like marcus alooooot im not using the L-O-V-E word bc i swore to myself.. never again!!! NEVER ok ne way... but i am trying to get over him so trying is good.. right? YES LISA IT IS there i shall credit myself happy people i am crediting myself be proud and clap for me! yay!! ok well.. sara drew the funniest picture she spent like a whole 30 mins on them lol they are good too but i had to edit it! with white out!!! lol meana is my wife! so you know i am married and me n her almost divorced bc she called me a chicken than a psyco bc she is like why did the chickn cross the road and i happened to be crossing the street so i started to yell at her lol meana it worked on old people only! lolol sara austin is a meanie head but lets not get into that lol love ya!! than i took a walk at like 930 something... just to think abd it was quite lovely outside tonight... ok im done
x0Xo

well i been out all weekend and i finally got a tan with jenna well not tan but i got some color so i guess its good... and well im sad bc im sick of people that i know and care about being hurt or even dying... yeah over the weekend danny and conners mom died... i love you 2 dearly and im here for you.. and ima miss her too alot! me n my mom had a talk about life and death... i held back my tears bc i had to be strong for my mom.. she cried but i tried to be wierd so shed laugh even though i was almost crying... when she left i did cry...for about 2 hours i found out things about my life i didnt know nor did i want to know. anyway today at school i was depressed. i mean really and alot of ppl noticed and its not for one reason its for alot of reasons. no im not telling i didnt tell anyone no onee knows why and im ot letting it out and i dont care if its good or bad.. after school me n my mom bonded alot today i told her alot of stuff.. like life and school and boys hehe and she told me stories it was actually fun talking to her! also yaminah and sara has been good friends to me.. they talked to me and i let alot out to them and they helped me be hyper! lol ily guys! but ne way im going to go eat pizza
p.s the song i have on.. listen to the words that kinda contibutes to my depression

hey everyone.. yea as you see my mood it says crying.. yes i am crying so hard i cant breathe and i can hardley see what im typing. why am i crying? yeah you would like to know... ask me later.. it has to do with someone and just by that you all know who but you do not know the reasonS yes there is an S that means there is more than 1 reason but for the same topic... MAINLY the reason is im scared hes going to do something to hurt himself... and if he does idk what im going to do.. next is i miss him so damn much its not even funny... another thing is i cant stand seeing him hurt and the NOT last thing (but for you its last bc i have other reasons that are too personal) is that i am so scared he hates me bc of his away message that someone sent me.. ne way i am gonig to go finish crying and try tp stop.. ttul
x0Xo Lisa

i wanted to say hi.. so hi

today started boring and i cleaned and stuff... than sara setzer came over and we took a walk and picked flowers and went to the tower thing and threw them and watched the wind take them away... than we picked more and took them home and drowned them so the ants and bugs would die. stephanie came over and she took us grocery shopping wow that was the first time i went shopping without my mom or dad! i think we did good! joy came over and than my parents went out to eat and me joy and sara watched tv ordered pizza from 2 different places and me and sara were the most hyper lol we sprayed eachother with the hose and threw sponges at eachother and we sat in front of joys car so she wouldnt leave. than stephanie and marcus came over and joy left.. (most of you know why ill go ahead and say that she doesnt like marcus at all) anywho steph went to chase her down bc they both have cars and me sara and marcus stayed and talked. after that we just kind of watched the hot chick and talked. joy didnt come back :0( sara left and stephanie marcus and i talked in my room and my parents came home. we went back to stephanies house and laurie happened to talk to marcus thats great (not) while we were in the car nikki called me crying... the first time im usually the one coming to her.. and nikki i am proud that you did that bc you and i know you did the right thing and im glad you got together your courage... and i am here for you if you need me i hope i helped. than i realized that it was late and i had to go home.. and so my dd got mad at me bc suppostidly i didnt come home early ok so now he doesnt trust me or something.. idk my dad alwasy finds something to be mad at me for.. liek ok today is really the 15th but im writinng about the 14th so ill move on to this morning i woke up and i found a 2 page list waiting for me full of questions and ok they were so dumb and i just about screamed i swear to god i did nothing wrong at all but the littlest things they yell at me for.. im serious like little things like i got grounded for a week bc once i said 'kellys mom is taking us to the mall' and i didnt say 'kellys mom is dropping us off at the mall' so i got lectured and yelled at! see that little stuff! there are some people i know that are there getting arrested and drunk and crap and i get yelled at for being home 15 minutes late! they know damn well that i dont get high or drunk or have sex or whatever and it kills me bc i dont lie to them or anything and i still get in trouble and it makes me so mad!! if anyone wants to comment than comment!! okk thanks bye

you guys know what today was actually a good day! i was happy so was everyone around me i had not sign of depression and i was bouncy and hyper! up until the middle of the movies where i was so mad bc everyone around me was depressed i tried to make everyone happy but it didnt work and i got tired of it so i gave up and i started to cry! i hate seeing everyone including my best friend sad it just pisses me off so bad!!!!! so i came home and called nikkki and that girl makes me laugh well i dont want to detail my day but it went from good to where i hated the world oh well ill get over it im going to eat cake and plan my little "party" tomorrow ill tell you what i am doing even though i said this so many times that most of my friends memorized it.. like ashley and nikki lol ill tell you when its done

HAVE A HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ILU ALL!! mwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaa <3

im going to eat cake lol

this song made me think and realize that maybe i should smile bc it all happened and for the time it was so perfect! he made a difference in my life and left the good memories there and i should be greatful that i experienced that and got to be one of the lucky ones! :0)
x0Xo you will never leave my heart x0Xo
*DeDiCaTeD tO yOu kNoW wHo*


It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
hoping they will never change
cause what we had can't be replaced
don't let our memories fade away
keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go seprate ways

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
You stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember you
and baby that's forever true
you're the one I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

If the day should come when you need someone
(you know that i'll follow)
I will be there
Don't ever let there
be a doubt in your mind
'cause I'll remember you

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

Forever baby, I'll remember you