i wish i could go to the concert...
*light breaks underneath a heavy door. and i try to keep myself awake. fall all around us on our hotel floor and you think that you've made a mistake. and there's a pain in my stomach from another sleepless binge. and i struggled to get myself up again.i wanna hang onto something that won't break away or fall apart like the pieces of my heart. and globes and maps are all around me now. i wanna feel you breathe me. globes and maps i see, surround you here.
why won't you believe me? globes and maps, they charter your way back home. do you wanna leave or something? and dreams came around you in a hazy rain. you opened your mouth wide to feel them fall. and i write a letter, from a one-way train, but i don't think you'll read it at all. and i can't take this anymore. well i know that i can't take this anymore. cuz i know someday i'll see you out that door.*

i dont know why i havent updated in like three days. it seems like a long time to me. i guess cuz my days pretty much become monotonous and pointless. *shrug* here are my days summed up -

1]drag my feet into school and lean against a wall
2]drag my feet to class
3]copy down notes
4]try to stay awake and listen
5]think
6]look at people
7]drag my feet some more. stand some more.

alright, i'm exaggerating. yes i do have good times and highlights in my day but idk why i never remember them... *shrug*. i hate government. i had a good day in art today. i got 40/40 on my quiz and i got to spend most of the time refining my still life while i listened to something corporate. THANKS TO ASHLEY. I LOVE YOU. it was very peaceful.

do you people watch the wade robson project? i watch it every single day. jessica simpson just came on to judge and she looks so cute/sexy. i want her purple shirt. idk why but i really like watching this show. idk how i watch it every single day. its part of the routine. i think i would do good on this show. hmmm.

so it sounds like this weekend will be another one to remember, another one to make my mood all bright again. i cannot wait. it was funny, like the city place thing started out as me, valerie, and alexis and then it's just spread so there's probly gonna be like 20 ppl there. lol. but it's all good ya know... everyones got love for each other. i think it's cool. as the years go by people only grow closer and it's so nice to feel and see it happening. although i miss luan. a lot. a whole freaking lot. A LOT.

<3 .somegasolen. <3

there's things i'll never say
this weekend has been great. i packed like ALL my fun into friday night and saturday because today i must devote to homework. *yawn* i'm tired though. but yeah this weekend has been good to me. it was really what i needed. if not, then i might still be angry/pissy. but i'm not. so it's all good =D.

friday night
got there early and got to see my bandos march in! then later janylls mom, being the generous woman she is, gave us the passes to sit by the band. that was cool. sammy is a dead sexy trumpet player! hehe. martin countys band was HUGE. they looked kinda scary marching towards us. it was cool when they played chicago... we were singing... *and all that jazz*. awesome atmosphere. twas me, danielle, ari, and stephanie w. we had mucho fun. *STAND UP!* we tried to do the wave. hehe. those damn peanuts. eagle-ettes were GREAT. i love them. that dance to kilo was just like awesome. i really really REALLY wanna be one. but idk if i could. i know i want to though.

saturday
ok... seriously... is there ANYONE who can spend 7 hours in town center besides me?!?! cuz i did. yeah i went there at 11:30 and left sometime around 6:30. the first hour i shopped alone. next 4 hours i hung out with altan. then the next 2 i shopped with my mom. hee hee hee. and yes i got stuff so it wasnt all for nothing. i was in american eagle trying on clothes and altan was sitting outside and i open my door and heather and amy are right there. lol. "are you here with *altan*?" hehe... funny stuff. we're not going out people. it wasnt a date. once altans dad picked him up my mom and i shopped some. and then we went to eat at kansai. then i got to drive home in our new lexus. well it's not ours but while ours gets fixed, we get to use this loaner. its GREAT. so pimp and sooooo fun to drive. we went to pick danielle up and went to see the fighting temptations. i was saying how i'm NOT dating altan and my mom and danielle... trying to be funny!! "uh huh..." haha. the fighting temptations was good. happy ending.

happy ending to my happy weekend. must do work now.

songs i'm listening to while i'm in this pleasant mood:
peggy lee - "you give me fever"
santana f/chad kroeger - "why don't you and i"
usher - "you make me wanna"
liz phair - "why cant i"
mandy moore - "its gonna be love"

*never know how much i love you. never know how much i care. when you put your arms around me, i get a fever that's so hard to bear. you give me fever when you kiss me. fever when you hold me tight. fever in the morning. a fever all through the night.*

i got the fever...

get out of my face!
today was interesting. too much anger in me for one person. no need to worry... it's just one of those days where i wanna kill someone. not you, sunshine! hugs are good. i hugged many people today. and no, i didn't strangle them. grrr...argh...aaaaaah. i need sleep, i'm getting dizzy. tomorrow is friday. yipee. govt=evil. art=therapeutic. sigh. who's going to the game? idk if i wanna go anymore. *SHRUG*

*its been a bad day. another bad day. and all i wanna do is look at you and know i'm ok. tomorrow is on the way. when i wake up in the morning, is it gonna be another ugly day?*

What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
Your LJ username
Your real name
Your sex
Your age
Your last words will be...	"FUCK YOU!"
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

wow... this quiz result like feeds your ego and beats you down at the saaaame time. i looked at all the possible results and i think i'm a mix of this and others.


Idol


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

outstretched arms, open hearts
my theme songs for this week:
christina aguilera - "walk away"
michelle branch - "desperately"
maroon 5 - "sweet goodbye"

today was an odd day. it was an odd day, but i didn't feel like crap like usual. maybe cuz my sexy outfit. *shrug*. every class was normal. i did bad on my govt test. i think i need to be a better participator. hmmm. nothing to write about. i went to guitar today. my new song is dont speak by no doubt. yay. my guitar teacher is being nice to me by giving me songs i actually know. then i came home. did some homework. went online. i think i have one more thing to do for hw but its just a worksheet. why the hell does zacher give us like 500000000 things to do in one freaking week? i dont understand. we do 100000 times more work at home than in class. that makes no sense. where is my danielley? i hope she be ok. tomorrow is a half day. yay. i was supposed to do something with katherine. and then i was supposed to do something with heather. im not doing anything with anyone though. *shrug*. oh well. oh and btw i'm not going to orlando this weekend. i'm gonna go to the game on friday. i wonder how many games i'm gonna be going to this year. *shrug*... i shrug too much, don't i? i guess thats how i feel about life right now. it's like eh. could be better, could be worse. i'm okay. it's my time to help others. i try. i'm trying.

<333 you are my sunshine. my only sunshine.

song lyrics [i dont care if you dont read them]:

*what do you do when you know something is bad for you and you still cant let go? i need to get away from you. i need to walk away from you. every time i try to grasp for air, i am smothered in despair, it's never over. seems i'll never wake from this nightmare. i let out a silent prayer. let it be over. inside i'm screaming... begging pleading no more.*

*i cannot ignore it. i keep giving in but you should know better. cuz there was something bout the way you looked at me. and it's strange that things change. but now i'm wanting you so desperately.*

*how does it feel you never have to be alone when you get home? dream away every day. try so hard to disregard the rhythm of the rain that drops and coincides with the beating of my heart. i'll never leave you behind or treat you unkind. i know you'll understand. and with a tear in my eye, give me the sweetest goodbye that i ever didn't see.*

there's nothing like your smile made of sun
anyways... what is new in my life? i have no idea.... like i'm lost in my own sea of thoughts.

h/o valerie just called... what a dork. she just wanted to say hi and tell me what she was wearing for a day in homecoming week. lol.

anyways. BACK TO ME. [sorry to sound so self involved... but i am.] today was alright considering how last night was. i cried a little. cuz i thought danielle got mad at me. and other drama i will not mention. anyways... tiredness. i have all A's on my progress reports. go me. i dont get grounded. yipee. cept i got a B in art cuz that stupid journal assignment i missed. anyways. chemistry was same as always. english was same as always. i cant believe zacher is assigning daybook when i havent bought mine yet. i have to go to her in the morning to buy it. damn. she has like 59.862 things due in the next 3 weeks. ugh. then spanish was ok. as usual. lunch was ok. art history was ok. danielle got an A on her test. [props to me cuz she studied with me] mmmm.... anything else to say?... nothing else to say. boring bus ride home. see how uninteresting my life is? maybe its cuz there's more interesting things going on that i just dont post about. idk. i miss luan. i'll never find the other half to me that fits like how he did. oh well. i cannot wait til it it winter. i just cant wait to feel the breeze in my hair and the chill. siiiiiiiiiigh. this weekend i'm going to orlando. i think i'm gonna drive part of the ways there. easy stuff when it's on the turnpike. anyways... i dont know what to say.

*you're the one i need. the way back home is always long but if you're close to me i'm holding on.*

never knew i could feel like this...

Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

like i've never seen the sky before. want to vanish inside your kiss. listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? telling you to give you everything. seasons may change... winter to spring. but i love you until the end of time. suddenly the world seems such a perfect place. suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace. suddenly my life doesnt seem such a waste. and theres no mountain too high, no river too wide... sing out this song and i'll be there by your side...

happy birthday to me.

I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your
romance is The Princess Bride. A heartwarming
tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants,
Spainards and swashbuckling. You really do
think that love can overcome anything. You may
be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in
the right place. You've probably got one of
those relationships where proper nouns have
been replaced with "Snookums" and
"Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware a cuteness
overload.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

cuz it really kinda sucks.
today was an interesting day. good range of emotions. testing... yay. we got to miss chem and govt. i loved it. it was all good. afterwards me and altan and sameen were walking... we wanted to go see mcmanus but we saw an ap so we were like ok lets go to mezinski and then she wasnt there and we were walking and our govt room saw us... we were like oops. damn. me and altan were like the only ones not there [that werent still really testing]. it was funny.

then we went over the questions. and i took megan's book to look at her art and i see she did a lot of pages. i realize HOLY CRAP, our journal assignment was due today. there was no way i couldve done any of it cuz it was already 10:15. i freaked out and got sooooooo worried. i still am. because she told me she'd look at it but she's not gonna give me the credit. so its gonna affect my grade on my progress report. and it better be the only subject i dont get an A in... cuz if not, then i'm grounded til i bring it to all A's again. so i'm kinda scared. *crosses fingers*.

so i totally had trouble focusing on things after that whole art ordeal. i couldnt even read my IMs right. i got home and slept til like 5:45. danielle came over for dinner and then we hung out and we studied for art history. it was fun. i made her smarter =). and seeing danielle always calms me down.

lets get this straight people. me and altan... we're just good friends. we're not going out. we're not gonna go out. ok? got it?... good.

*these last few weeks i've been confused. sometimes i wonder if i'm better off alone. you fall in love, you break your heart, you fall in love again. it's never ending. i guess i'm giving up on love... cuz it really kind of sucks. uninspired and growing tired. why am i always attracted to drama? will someone tell me what it takes me to be happy? maybe i'll meet that special boy on the way. then he'll break my heart and leave me crying. i guess i'm giving up on love.*

BTW... in 12 hours and 17 minutes... i'll be 16!!... and happy bday to my buddy bryan too!

we gonna get down in the club tonight. woot woot!


You are Beauty.

You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the
outside, or both. People are drawn to you as
strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the
world around you.


What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

my new theme song:
*the arrow struck my heart again. i picked a rose and bled misery away. i stepped into the light just to see a glimpse of u. it feels like i'm in a movie, as the orchestra plays you in. that shine in ur eyes, it melts me. i wish i could say this all to u, but my heart jumps in my throat when u look my way. my spine crawls out of my back. there's so much i wish i could say but, i'm afraid. take this rose and stop the bleeding. my broken heart is on my sleeve. and i don't wanna live in regret and let you get away. you can make it all better. all it needs is just one kiss. i wish i could reach out and your hand would find its way to mine. touch my lips and soothe my wounds. remove this cross i've carried so long. you cry and wish there was someone for you. i wish i could tell u. never say you don't look pretty. whoever told you that lie is jealous of you.*

our night
we went to the game. did you go?!... well it was good. what to say about it? we got to see neil, ashley pasion, and melissa... and other people from school. the mascot... the freaky deaky eagle. he whipped my ass. *shudders*... he was freaky. i need to find out who that is!!! anyways. it rained. but it was good rain. everything was pretty good. i even got to sneak into the sea of bandos. i have my ways. but i stood out like a sore thumb. oh well! i got to see my lovers from santaluces. ;) ... our feet hurt now cuz we were always standing or walking. danielle is still a cheerleader at heart. she and briana busted out to the music of the band and were all in synch with each other. it was cute though. i feel bad for them sick people though. a lot of people are sick lately. vanessa u JUST recovered from being sick and she was out in the rain. sammy is even worse and she probably will never get better... that poor baby. and altan got sick during school but still played. all them tough bandos.... i love yall... anyways. this weekend has a good start.

star light, star brite, first star i see tonight... i wish i may i wish i might, find the love i seek tonight. =)

i'm just fighting temptation, gotta get full control. it is very tempting when you ask to take me home. i know you want my love. i dont think the time is right. call you when i'm ready, but it won't be tonight.

yeah that past entry was adam. we did the SRI testing and after we were bored so. they switched my first and second hour. DAMN. 2nd hour chem was my fave class. when greta told me how it was without me, it made it sound like i moved away. i sit in luans old seat in 1st period chem. =( well at least i got one more class with D-Rock. i need to start my precal hw but its so hard to get started.... sigh. i guess i'll try now. good bye.

edited... additon to this entry
people... i know school is hard. this year we gotta work more, be more involved. but... it'll be ok. i see so many people in distress and it makes me so angry because i feel like i can't help my friends. but before all of you decide that you want to leave, come to me and i swear i'll try my best to help you. i'd rather help ALL of you deal with your problems than for all of you to leave me here all alone. what would i be without all of you next year?

hi guys
you know whos sexy. adam jacobson. hes so hot. omg(oh my god) his hair just flips my switch. hes just so cool.
well thats it for now. im going to go think about adam . uhhhhh hottie

you don't know what you mean to me.
hmmm... nothing really to write about. schools alright. everyone is having so much academic stress. i feel so bad. i hope none of my friends leave me. =(... i'll help any and everyone who needs it. today was an ok day. i expect every odd day to be horrible so they end up being ok. i'm keeping up with that way of looking at life. hope for the best and expect the worst. ummm... this week feels long but short at the same time. hmm. friday is the game! who's going... i cant wait. and then saturday we get to go clubbin.... get low and scruuuub da ground. haha. sameen got me on that song. i finished my prints in art. ms stecker was playing that music like the music in 'ever after'... so it made me feel all romantic and like being in the countryside finding prince charming.... sigh. oh well. i think i'm just gonna try [it probly wont work though] living my days without worrying about my heart, and about being alone or with someone. *shrug*. i'll be ok. =D

man i got a boring life.

remember the first day when you smiled at me?
hmmm... i'd say a good weekend overall. two lonely nights. but i'm over it. like my new journal layout? yeah i did it one of those lonely nights. this weekend flew by so fast. many emotions. i dont want to go to school dammit! geez. i hate it. i went shopping today at wellington and i got 5 tops but i just dont feel like wearing them yet. they all need to be worn with a jacket and they all seem to be black or red/pink. i dont want to wear them because... blecch. i feel fat and ugly. *shrug* you girls know what i'm saying. sameen... you better not leave me! i'll cry. who will be my teddy bear? nothing really happened today. ya know whats funny?... my mom wants to see my digital cam pix from the party soooo bad. but i wont let her. haha. and altan said she's scary. ya know at the party, with the knife and all. she IS scary.

lalalalalalalalala... dont wanna do hw. dont need to do hw. maybe i should study for chem... maybe not. i'm tired. sleepy. sigh. i love you all.

i know its really really soon to be saying this... but i want a new set of brown eyes to stare at. you dont know what kind of love you have until its gone. i feel deprived.