so, president's ball tonight. should be fun. but now i have to do homework for my 2pm class. and after that, i'm at the radio station for 3 hours. i'm doing a 3pm show, and my normal 5pm show. if you'd care to listen, http://www.wcks.org/

after that is dinner and dancing. and i really should iron my shirt and stuff. but i guess i'll have to go without. i think i'll wear the prom outfit though. i hope it's here. i may have left it at home. which would be teh suck.

...

i'm surprised nobody mentioned the nude woman smothered in guacamole.

this may prove dangerous...

*edit* let me know if you want to know what i searched... lol *edit*

Instructions:
- Visit: http://images.google.com.
- Search for:
1) Where you grew up.
2) Where you live now.
3) Your name
4) Your grandmother's name
5) Your favorite food.
6) Your Favorite Drink
7) Your Favorite Song
8) Your favorite smell.

1:


2:


3:

Christopher Best studied composition under Edward Cowie (Lancaster), HughWood (Cambridge) and Nigel Osborne (Nottingham). He now divides his timebetween freelance composition and working as Senior Lecturer and Reader inMusic Composition at Dartington College of Arts in Devon. He has receivednumerous awards and scholarships, including Northern Ireland's 'Sonorities'composition prize and a four month Danish Government grant to work at theCopenhagen Conservatoire.Much of his more recent work has been in collaboration with choreographersand dance companies, such as Scottish Dance Theatre, Jamaican NationalDance, Kaleidoscope Dance Project and Bimba Dance Theatre. This has led in turn to related education work in cross-media collaboration; directing theComposers/Choreographers Exchanges at the South Bank in London in 1998 and 2000, and in Madrid in 2001 and 2002. He has also contributed articles toDance Theatre Journal and Animated Magazine. Chris is also established as a concert composer, recent work taking much from the experiences of working with dance. spnm invited him to write a piece for the 1997 Spitalfields Festival, and other compositions (including Another Kind of Air, Rossetti Dances and Moonlighting) have been selected by the reading panel. Recent compositions include a large-scale orchestral piece for Kokoro, a 60 minute CD Waking Dance and How Great, How Fall'n written for the John Armitage Memorial concert series and premiered earlier this year at St Bride's church in London.


"Police dog Kaiser and his handler, police officer Christopher Best, keep an eye on train travellers in Washington."

4:


5:


6:

okay, so the alcoholism has to show through at some point, i suppose...

7:

^ totally bizarre... ^

8:

... hm, i suppose i deserve this for some reason?

*

there you have it. all of my innermost thoughts betrayed by google image search.

ahem, superbowl.

so, this stereo sounds pretty damn sweet in my little cave under my bed.

i got not a whole lot done last night, as anticipated. at some point you'd think i would have to quit raping my own asshole with procrastination, but apparently that's not the case. i guess i have the anus that takes a licking and likes it.

...

yuck.

...

moving on,
we.
..urm..

... that's all i have.

okay. well i have more. but the thought hasn't completely gestated at this point, and i'd like to wait until it has matured further before i attempt to convey it. otherwise the risk of misinterpretation is heightened substantially.

this is mostly for my benefit... don't expect it to make sense.

i hope this isn't out of line or anything. but it helps me to get things in perspective.

"right now is such i wierd time... i really think this weekend was a digression or soemthing back to something. it will probably take a while to get beck to where i was which i think is a bad thing. hmmm... i hate to think i am the type of person who needs a seginificant other to be happy but i am begining to think i am. i just need there to be someone who i know is there and will be there for me. but then agian. that might just be what i think i need and not actually what i need at all, and when i get it i might still be depressed and that would suck alot too, i just need to find someway to be happy because all of my efforts as of late are not working all that well.

...

maybe some boys do want me to be more then their object they can use when it suits them.

...

you know it is nice to have a reason to smile everyday... i just have to hope that i don't get crushed

...

he says he really wants to get to know me, doesn't want to start anything physical before he gets to know me more. he doesn't just want me as an object, that is refreshing and new, wonderful. hesitant. too good to be true
he came over last night at like 8 and took me away from my homework, and we basically hung out untill 2 this afternoon

...

i have a poor pathetic habit of writing everything i am feeling in these blog things and not really telling people what i think/feel which i think might someday be important

that is why i have so many knots in my back
it's because i hold everything in and let no emotions out
i should work on that
i should get better at that
i should
i should
i might
i might not

...

i should use some sort of name to decifer between the he's that i talk about. instead of just assuming i will remember which boy is on my mind at any one point in time, becauswe it is so rare that it is always the same one.

...

i'm happy. happy in a way that i haven't been in more then a year.
chew on that one for a while.

...

i'm not even sure what i want to say.. just wow. this is good. this makes me happy. he seems to be everything i look for... why do feel like i am waiting for somethign to go wrong.
because it always does
silly shannon get those thoughts out of your head. this is a good thing."

***********************************

okay, so...

i don't really have much to say. i mean, i have a lot that i'm thinking about... but no real thoughts to articulate at this point. merely idle musings. but still, they won't be idle forever...

FNWHF

yet another successful edition of "friday nights with hunter falk".

she met mom and bruce last night. i met her folks today. that was pretty cool. mom and bruce seemed to like her. and her parents were nice too. a little less forward than mine, perhaps, but that's to be expected. not everybody's parents are insane... i must remember that.

bowling tonight. always fun. mom gave me $30, because she's super-duper awesome like that, so i might actually be able to pull it off. for the afternoon, i think i'll do laundry and *gasp* maybe do some homework. why do i feel so fucked in school? meh. i'll ignore it, like usual.

time for stuff

: )

so...

i've got a girlfriend. i was a little afraid at first, but - by degrees - i'm warming up to the notion.

still really afraid. always am, i guess. but yeah. that's the way it goes with me.

shit, i need to write my eurociv paper. tonight after dinner, that will be my project.

listen to my radio show, friday at 5pm, http:www.wcks.org.

that's all i have for now. yay STATS.

be you clinging to the precipice of your recumbent apparatus?

so... tactile sensation gives way to tremendous guilt gives way to existential musings gives way to insatiable emotional demand.

well, she has the kevin approval in a big way. which is totally understandable. she's really cool. i'm afraid of ... well, lots of different things. and being left to my own devices, i feel so misguided. or unguided, rather. which is again, scary.

just being alone in the big bad world. and then realizing that i don't kick as much ass as everyone else seems to think i do. but nobody else really kicks much more ass either. i have a hard time coming to grips with that.

i'm super-duper tired. but i really do need to do homework and shit. i'm SOOO far behind. it's craziness.

and i know kevin was flipping out and kicking himself, but i still maintain that it was a success. hanging out was the objective, and hanging out was accomplished.

fuck. semi-productiveness beckons.

substantial utilization of quadriceps optimizes bipedal locomotion.

so, about that life thing.

perpetually pensive. constantly concerned. invariably immersed in idle imaginings and malignant mental machinations.

i guess sometimes they're beneficent. but it seems to be the lesser proportion of the time.

anyway. i've been thinking. with various parts of my body. and in the end i still don't know what the hell is going on with me. and we had a nice talk today, even. and i'm still so lost.

Ich denke immer, aber auch glaube nicht.

i always think, but never know.

band tonight was a little more organized, which i appreciated. i still have all the same feelings of inadequacy though.

feelings are so fickle. yet so powerful. it's absurd. you can't rely on them for diddly squat, and in the end they serve little purpose. but life without them would be meaningless. so, i guess that's their purpose. feelings give life meaning. but they still suck. i'm sticking to my guns on that one. and yet they're awesome.

dammit! i'm so noncommital.

at the very least, they certainly make it extremely difficult to function properly.

well. g'night.