:: 2004 16 June :: 2.02 pm
:: Music: Ocean Avenue- Yellowcard

YoU

:: 2004 15 June :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: jealous

arital Status: ****** my baby..you're the best
Hobbies & Interests:Listening to music, being around my friends and especially you ***** =) where would i be without you??

hm, a friend of mines profile....I really do wish I could go back in time and get him b4 she did :'( I really like him!!!!!!!!!!! fuck a duck!!! IDK! ahhhh, hmmm, only Sarah and Kelci know who I like, and who the ****'s stand 4.....(dont try n count em, bc none of mean his name, soooo.....sry) and juss bc i flirt, doesnt mean ne thing....! sorry kidoze!

and sorry for all the stupid surveys, Im juss SUPER bored...I was watching the movie "thirteen" but my bro came home and Im not aloud to let him watch it...so yeah............. I am waiting for the person
to answer my ?...o, got the answer, Im happy...

ME: do u think im pretty?
Him: 1sec
Me: lol ok
Him: yea y

haha, i got a whole bunch of ppl to say it

Me: do u think i am pretty ( dont take it personally bc its juss a ?...)
Eric (Wiley): yea

Marcus: U
marcus: R
marcus: pretty

Ty: well, yes, youre pretty

Sean:you're not bad.

Matt: ya

Jon: ya you are
your beautiful ( wow, its nice to finally hear {or see} a guy say ur beautiful instead of yeah ur hott yada yada yada)
Jon: am i pretty
Me: yeah, ur beautiful too Jon

Nick: yes..
Me: *explained my prblem*
Nick:oh well ur pretty



kk, sorry I am getting full of my self!
Well, it started out bc of Logan, and thats why I asked ********then, I juss felt like askin ppl to see if it was really tru i guess..idk

6 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 15 June :: 10.18 pm

Name?: Sara
Age?: 14
Date of Birth?: 12.28
Birthplace?: CC, Fl
Birthparents?: n/a
Do you regret being born?: yea
Do you wish you were born a different gender?: no
If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?: I would be prettier
Present
Grade?: 9th
Are you good in school?: Uh, I guess
What areas are you completely horrid in?: math
What areas do you excel in?: language arts, reading
Do you have many friends?: yea
What role do you occupy in your group?: The out going one
Are you happy with yourself?: no
What do you hate about yourself?: That I am over weight
What do you like?: My personality (most times)
What would you want to change?: I wanna be skinnier
Future?
Are you going to have a future?: yeah
Do you want to have a future?: yea
Do you plan to graduate from high school?: yes
Are you going to go to college?: prolly
What do you plan to major in?: Hopefully psychiatry(?)
What job would you want to have in the future?: psychiatrist
Where do you want to be 10 years from now?: Living in NY w/ either BFF or bf/husband
Do you want to get married?: yea
Do you know who you want to marry?: yeah
Do you want a conventional wedding?: No.I wanna have one on the beach
Would you be the bride or the groom?: bride
Do you want to have kids?: yea
How many?: 2
Do you prefer female or male children?: Doesn’t matter
Why?: Bc I would <<3 them juss the same
Are you religious?: Yes
Why or why not?: Bc I believe what I do and that’s all there is to it, altho, I some times go against my religion w/ the whole which craft thing
Where do you think you are going to go when you die?: Onto someones china cabinet
Do you want to die?: yea
Do you fear death?: no
Did you like this survey?: eh
based on the questions I have asked you do you think you woud like me?: ur gay
Do you want to meet me?:
Do you want me to go away now?: YES

1 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 15 June :: 10.10 pm

Basics
Name:: Sara
Age:: 14
Birthday:: 12.28
Male or Female:: female
Sibilings:: brother
Do you have a bf/gf?: nope
Stuff
Who are your closest friends?: Meana and Sarah
Have you ever been in love?: yes
Are you in love at the moment?: kinda
What do people think of you?: im crazy
Whats your best quality:sum ppl say personality
What do you look for in a guy/girl?: personality
Would you rather them be younger or older?: same age...but older is ok
Does age matter to you?: kinda
Whats your ideal date like?: going out to dinner and a walk on the beach to watch the sunset, then a really passionate good night kiss
If you could wish for anything, what would it be?: to be going out with ************
have you ever...
killed anyone?: no
had sex?: kinda
fell down the hall in school?: yes
fell asleep when someone was over?: yea
done drugs?:ya
drink?: ya
got in a car accident?: no
skydived?: no
went skinny-dipping?: when I was lil lol
almost died?: yes
attempted suicide?: yes
tryed cutting yourself?: yes...
flown a kite?: ya
broke something of personal value?: yea
hated someone so much, you thought of killing them?: yea
been to a mental hospital?:no
been arrested?: kinda
been to another country?: no
went to space?: no
droven a car?:yeah
this or that?
milk/water: water
crushed/cubed: cubed
coke/pepsi: coke
dog/cat: cat
yellowcard/simple plan: simple plan
Britney/Christina: brittney
cord/cordless: cordless
cellphone/IM: IM
blue/purple: blue

YoU

:: 2004 15 June :: 10.06 pm

Do you cut? not lately
Who do you hide SI from? no one
Who knows about it? ne one who asked me
How long has it been since you last cut? earlier today :'(.....first time in a few months
Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? kinda
Where do you usually cut? wrist
When you cut, who is usually the first to find out? Meana or TOdd
What is your worst experience with a fresh cut? uh?
Do you have a fascination with scabs?no
Do you name your razor? no
What other methods of SI do you use? cutting
Do you dislike the term self mutilation? not really
What ways do you use to hide scars? usually i dont...but if i do...long shirts/wristbands
Once cuts heal do you hide the scars? not really
Ever be intituionalized, hospitalized for SI ing? no
Do you ever run into problems hiding cuts? no
What is the best part of cutting to you? the feeling u get after uve cut
What instrument do you use to cut? razor, scissor,
What causes you to cut? peers,
What do you feel afterwards? relieved, kinda happy
What was your closest call? there hasnt been a close call yet
How long have you been doing it? all together, 6 months
Do you keep a razor in your bag? no
Ever needed stiches for a cut so deep? no
Do you have a therapist to talk to regularly? no
Are your parents divorced? no
Are you a boy or a girl? girl
Age? 14
Age you began to SI? 14
Do your parents know? yea
Are you depressed? yes
Do you suffer from anxiety? idk
Do you have any other disorders?naw
Are you on meds? no
Do you wish you could stop? no
Do you do drugs? i have
Do you think of cutting as a good thing or a bad thing? both
Do you bandage your cuts? no
are you alone? no
Do your cuts tell a story? no
Do you ever do designs? no
Have you ever cut too deep? no
Do you have trust issues?depends on the person...

YoU

:: 2004 15 June :: 4.00 pm

Hey yall....Im bored, so I am updating....hmmm, I was reading cosmo girl magazine, and I was lookin at horoscopes, and well...it had "special days" and what not, and I looked at mine, and one of em was the 12th, thats the day I met Steven.....and the toher day was the same as Chris's.....and the same for July! thats crazy....hehe ;-)

so, uhhh, umm, oh yeah, I was thinking bout Teen Night, and this flash back came to me, i was dancing with some one (slow dancing) and uhhh...oh yeah, the song was "under the Moonlight" by leanne rhymes and I remembered seein this cuple dancin and singing it to each other...it was sooo sweet

I am watching the hit list thing on MTV2 and The reason is the # 1 song, it beet Burn by USher....how crazy is that! I love "the reason" but, I mean, how can it beet Burn?!?!?!?!? Oh well...

Some ppl think that just bcuz they dress punk or listen to punk music that they're punk.
To all those who think like this WORDS OF WISE: Punk isn't a type of music or a style.
Punk is a way of thinking for yourself and not becoming wat the "world" wants u to be.
Punk is not caring wat other ppl think of u bcuz u kno that your being u and not tryin to
be something your not. Punk is freedom to be, to feel, to say what u want. Punk is
forgetting everything our parents instill in our heads. Punk is refusing to sit down and shut
up! Punk is refusing to grow up, to give up, and to let go.Punk is being loud and not caring
who hears wat u got to say. Punk is your ideas that u possess in your mind.Punk isn't a social
status.Punk is having a voice. Its not about how many patches u own or how many buttons u have on
your bakpak. Punk is Unity, Punk is Equality!!

YoU

:: 2004 15 June :: 2.08 am

hm, made a new homepage.....

www.hometown.aol.com/gba11111/SarasLife.html

YoU

:: 2004 13 June :: 11.09 am
:: Mood: tired

church!
Hey, I juss got back from church....where I was since 6:45 last night......so, heres mah story!!! hehe, ok, we have these meetings for our Missions Trip, and we dont ever know whats gonna happen that day...so we were told we were spending the night @ the church....sooo, we all went w/ stuff for the next morning and everything........but, after a half hr, Brett locked our stuff in, told us to get a card board box and pick a spot on the grass.......aka: we were living as hobo's, the box was our house for the night! so a few weeks ago, we had to bring in caned foods, and thats what we ate, and they were really nasty, lucky for me, steven, and the triplets and lisa, we got beans!!! (bush beans rock!) so we had to eat it out of the can, and around 8 we were done and we had untill ten for free time, so we had to be like HOBOS, so we all layed by our "houses" and talked to other people and played "soccer" and yada yada yada, at around 9 or so, Steven and Jeramy and Tom and shane came over and laid and talked with us...that was really fun.....then we had and HR amd a hlf of talking about pre-judging homeless people....and it was really interesting....then we had free time till when ever, and we were with Rebeccas group mainly, but then we left and Steven came over and hung out with us for a few hrs and we talked and hung out....he's sooo HOT!!! (like, every one thinks so....so, dont say have bad taste) and then we stayed up till 4 and it was REALLY cold, and all the guys had their shirts off and i went and asked one of them for their shirt and i wore it, and it kept me warm...and fell asleep, and woke back up bc a cop showed up (nothing happened, juss shows up everynight to make sure everythings ok), then we fell back asleep and woke back up for goof at 5:15...and just hung out.......like all of us, like it used to be b4 magen, jessica, joey and josh formed the "fun club" and it was all good....and we went to the lani and juss hung out and tried to go back to sleep...I wanted to bring my card board to the bathroom bc it was sooo warm in there.....and I was DRENCHED in bug spray! ewwww!!! it really was nasty....and this morning, we hung out, wrote in our journals for M.T. ad went to church....when every one sang in the begining, we were all wide awake...and clapping and dancing and what not....then, the middle skewlers went to their class so it was like me, triplets, steven, matt, jj, jeramy, adam, chris , christian and jaramiah left...and we all SLEPT! Christian took up 5 seets, and the rest of us juss slept sitting up.....and we smelt, bc no one got deoderant, got to brush our teeth or change or ne thing.......so yeah, that was wonderful.....and now, I am waiting to leave bc I am going to the yacht club with Lauren for the baptism thing, but i think we r juss gonna lay out and hang out with Cristian and steven (if he goes...)......so yeah.....gonna go...bye!

5 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 12 June :: 9.31 am
:: Music: Slow Motion- Juvinial

YoU

:: 2004 12 June :: 9.29 am

Sarah- 36 days!!!!

Kelsey- 3 weeks!!!

1 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 12 June :: 9.19 am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Slipknot -duality

2 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 10 June :: 6.50 pm

a poem dedikated to brett...(writen a while ago...) but i still think of the loser!
i spend my nights crying, wishin gu were here. Doing more than that, wishing u would care. We sont talk any more and it hurts me so bad...My friens look at me, they see my pain,oohhh, u make them so mad. they tell me to get over u, that is my dare, doing that, makes my heart tear! I just sat there crying, loving u with all i had, missing u so much, it makes me so sad...i fell in love and that was wrong, i just hadnt been loved in oh so long. i hate myself now, and its all ur fault. To u, ur the one i owe this token, a token of love, even worse of hate! I cut once more, and everything is black, now its my turn to go, I'll watch over u, praying u wont make another girl blue.....oh no, please put that down! I see u, in ur blood u've drown...I forgot what i did, would result in this, it's all my fault another life taken...My hands, in thin air, wildly shakin. Your standing there watching me, watching u on earth, when i turn, its u i c...I run and fall into ur arms crying, i can not flee, because my wish has come true, its just u n me...

YoU

:: 2004 10 June :: 2.02 pm

summer is sooooooooooooo boring....:'( okieeee....sean jsut told me he put his money in a box outside so his mom wouldnst steal it and then he didnt want it to rust so he put it in a bag....Lisa, ur "bf" is friggin nuts!!!!!!! I hate this kid soooo much...and lucky me, he juss HAS to be my neighbor....im sorry, but i juss can not stand this kid.....so, If ne one wants to make plans with me so I can get out of my house, comment PLZ!!!!!!!

question of the day: how many cheerleaders does it take to screw in a pickle?? comment to know the answer!

8 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 9 June :: 11.57 pm

aahhhh, so yeah, nothing has changed...I hate when me n her get into fights, i always cry...which if our fight goes ne further, I will....i dont know what is going on, alot of the time now, intstead of being happy, its spent arguing....i dont get it.....i dont get life ne more....ah, its like, me n lisa switched lives, im all depressed now, and shes all happy...i wish i had her "pep".....aaaaaaaahhhhhhh (yes, agen).... this just REALLY sux right now, how i feel...its like, i wanna cry all the time, and then i am like in lvoe with todd, so Ill call him and it 'll be all good, or ill talk to Sarah or Chris........those r the only ppl that can seem to make me feel better but right now...it seems to me, Chris is o busy with Jessica, and Todd...i dont know, and Sarah and me, we are good one sec, and then bad the next....its like...we r married.....
fuck life right now...ya know, i dont know what else to say but i have one of the most mixed up lives out of alot of my friends....oh well, its like, no one seem s to care ne more.....well, im juss gunna go...........fuck u

4 FuCk | YoU

:: 2004 9 June :: 11.35 pm

ok, life is really starting to piss me off right now....!juss bc me n Sarah are fighting................................great...another thing to brood over.....wonderful....idk, imma juss go...if ne thing changes, ill write

YoU