It's time for bed...but before I go, I shall tell you of my life's happenings...Tuesday, school was alright, work sucked again...Hung out with Carmen, she showed me Muppet Treasure Island, which wasn't too bad...Wednesday, school was boring and work sucked again...I got gas at $1.49 with Dan, which saved him from taking Brittani Huling home...I went over to Carmen's after that for a while...Today, I am falling behind in art again, which isn't good...finished up my American Studies and french...kind of...heh...and went over to Carmen's...noticing a pattern? Well, I'm super mega tired, so cheerio...

Quote of the day:
"But that's the nature of the game
And you have to play"

I hate study guides...but, my day didn't go too bad...and neither did Sunday...I finished reading my book, 260 some pages in less than 4 hours...that's pretty good, but gave me a headache...soon after that, I went to church with Laura...A pleasant surprise is what I found when I returned, as Carmen was sitting in my family room sitting with my parents...my parents left for Frickers, to watch my Steelers lose to the Browns (*cries*)...I showed Carmen some more craziness from Newgrounds, and then we watched the extra scenes in Donnie Darko...She left arond 10:10, and I soon went to bed after that...this morning, much to Carmen's idsmay, I wore short sleeves, but I did wear jeans...school was fine, and so was work...Sara and Britt both visited me, as well as Carmen and Joshie...I had burgers for dinner with my dad, as my mom, sister, and her friend are up in T-Town shopping for dresses...I am wokring on my study guide now, but I am in a poetic mood, so odds are, after this, I will write some...

Quote of the day:
"Let me sing of the losers who lie in the street as the last bus goes by.
The pavements are empty: the gutters run red - while the fool
toasts his god in the sky."

Wham, Sunday morning, I need to read Endurance in 24 hours...yay! Last night, I spent some quality with Carmen...hmm...last I posted, I was going to go visit her...well, I did, and visited with both of the Henry's and Sara also...good times...after that, I went to Blockbuster to rent a game, but they didn't have it, so I just went to Video Spectrum and rented Read or Die and Eraserhead, both extremely odd movies...Eraserhead more so...it had lots of Embryo/Zygote action! I came home, watched my Saturday morning cartoons, and then Joshie came down...we watched Read or Die, and then he left...I cleaned up after dinner, and then went to Carmen's...Hung out with her and Joshie for a little while, and then joshie left to go to where ever Scavo was...he never returned! Carmen and I proceeded to Ground for Thought, where I bought a few donuts...coconut ones! We watched Eraserhead upon coming back to her hourse, and then, after that, we watched some Family Guy...I left at 12:30, went home, and eventually talked to Carmen some more...I went to bed at 4...and here I am now!

Quote of the day:
"In this forest
Where wolves cry their agony unto the moon
My spirit is hidden
In the form of wisdom
carved on a black stone"

Well, today is Saturday...I've finished work, which wasn't that bad...I ordered Carmen's corsage today...hope it's a good one, and it's right...I'm so horrible with that stuff...Last night, I got sick after the game, which sucked...Before the game however, I hung around with Carmen, ran some errands with her, and ate some Luca's Pizza...after the game, I went to Pisonello's for a tad, then went to Megans for even shorter amount of time...I got well when I was home, and talked to Carmen for about 2 hours on my phone (which ran out of batteries, by the way)...well, I'm out for now...

Quote of the day:
"I am just a spectator
An advocate documenting the loss
Fluttering with conceit
This doesn't concern me yet "

Eh...

Untitled #2

Her dead eyes pleaded to me
As I carried her corpse away
“Fill my request,” they said
“To the sea,” she wanted to go
Her rigid limbs impeded my flight
To the vast and boundless sea

She had mentioned it to me
An earlier day of autumn
That she was tired
I didn’t quite know, by that,
What she had meant
Now it pains me that I know

If only I could been an angel
Rather than a demon to help her
Through this damned hell she lived
I just pushed her further in
I’m glad I can help her now…

Curse my armpits...

Well, today is Tuesday, I survived the paper...

Monday, I watched Donnie Darko with Carmen, a depressing movie, yet a really really good movie...very deep...very meaningful...Worked sucked a ton, but I got through it...Carmen and Joshie stopped by, making it more bearable...

Tuesday, I hung out with Carmen again...I hope I'm not being a pest or wearing out my welcome, because it is fun (for me atleast) hanging out with Carmen...Today, work didn't suck so much, the ladies verified everything, so I didn't have much work to do...

Well, so much for this update...I'm going to go write a poem, depressing and dark probably, and then go to bed...

Quote of the day:
"The forest of October
Sleeps silent when I depart
The web of time
Hides my last trace"

Hmm, instead of writing my paper, I am here writing my feelings...too bad I can't get graded on these, although odds are I would fail these...

Yesterday, I hung out with Coomes after working 5 hours...it's been a while since we've hung out, and we had a good time...We rented two movies, Read or Die and Sharkskin Mam, Peachhip Girl...the latter was really fucking crazy...I didn't have enough time to watch the first one though...We went to Uraku for dinner, after seeing if Carmen wanted to tag along, but she had other plans...we played a bunch of Soul Calibur 2 and had apple crisp...hmm...

After that, I returned home, worked on a little of my paper and read a bit of my TOME...after this, I went over to Carmen's and hung out with her for a tad, trying to cheer her up, make her happy...I don't know if it worked or not...I did, however, end up putting her to sleep...

Today, I woke up...and several hours later put a pair of jeans on...it's fall now, because I'm wearing jeans...I visited Carmen at work today, and saw Sara getting trained for her job...I was late in visiting Carmen, so I only saw her for about 10 minutes, as her break ended...I came home, watched the Browns lose, and here I am now...

---------------------------------------------------------
Untitled #1

Saddened by my failures
I crawl into my bed
And slip away from this world
Into a world of elation
Where a warm rain constantly falls
Upon the ruins of a civilization
Torn apart by phenomenon
Phenomenon caused by man
Phenomenon that is man

I stand on this blood soaked pillar here
And look into the wheat field
Gently swaying in the wind and rain
White stones stare back at me
Unaltered by the rain
I turn around, and see a forest
That bids me to join it's cold darkness

Leaving the sunlit world of elation
I fall into despair, yet I walk further
The sticks snap under my weight
I come upon a giant tree
Thousands of years old
Looming over me, I turn around
I search for elation, and am unseccessful
About ready to give up, I hear my name
There she is, noose about her neck
Scraped out eyes and a burnt body

She takes off her noose so I may join her...

No walk with Carmen...*is sad*...
Hmm, it's 2:10, where are your children? I need to get to sleep, but I also want to read Endurance or The Dvine Comedy, but can't decide...I work at 9 tomorrow morning, until 2 probably...after that, Coomes are going to hit it up old school...yeah, it'll be great, he wants me to go to Uraku...hmm...

School was okay today, math test wasn't too bad, I'm fine (In Herr Dunn's eyes) for my paper, I've got more than enough...I'll probably hit that up later today, Saturday...
I really want to write more poetry...I just don't want it to be clichéd and all...and I'm afraid that is what it may be...

I drove to school today, and home from it and around today...At the football game, I didn't feel well at all, I don't know why or what was wrong with me...Carmen looked out for me, so thanks to her for that, thanks much...I got better...it rained really hard after the game, and I went to Megan's...I was really hyper, and by really hyper, I mean totally off the wall, running around screaming, hyper...Sara got in trouble for being past her cerfew (part of which was my doing, I'm really sorry)...

Also, thanks to Carmen, for searching for an Opeth cd at Franklin Park for me...

She mentioned something about me being nice...Am I really not nice? I kind of see myself as a bully, which upsets me...do you guys think this is so? Could I be nicer? Am I a bad person?

Quote of the day:
"I often dream of huge numb buildings
jet-black sinister architecture
being installed when nobody sees
Their appearance so sudden
that few would take notice

And when I wake up
I imagine being crushed by one
imagining it's weight it's silence
and the absence of excuses for a havoced life
and the priviledge of a 22-kilometer tombstone"

Yay, I can drive now! I got 100% on the test, w00t! I don't know what I was all worried about...I'm glad now, because I can be a bit more free, do stuff I've yet to do...I auditioned today also, and did well at that, 11 out of the 14 sight-reading pieces done...Mr. Headley had to leave, so I didn't have any real contact with him...Mrs. Kramer is nicer anyways...I had a really bad migraine today, so horrible, it hurt so much, and art class made it a tousand times worse...at least the most stressful events of this week are over with...I'm going to be driving to school now...yeah...I visited Carmen tonight, which was fun, and I drove all the way there, as she put it, just to visit her...it's fun...

Quote of the day:
"With his mouth sewn shut
He still shaves his butt"

There is so much I want to do, and I don't have the time for, and so much I have to do, and am running out of time to do, like my Evidence/Warrent sheet...for the 3rd night in a row, I've not worked on it...I am digging myself a very shallow grave, shallow enough so that when Mrs. Dunn chants her evil Sierra Leone voodoo song to ressurect me, I won't choke...Why do I do this to myself? And then I feel that it would be easier just to shoot myself and end this worry...But what wouldn't be cool, because I'd leave so much behind, so much unfinished, so much to experience...I want to start writing poetry again, but all of this work and worry is draining me both of time and ideas...my life is so pitiful right now...

On the bright side, I visited Carmen at work today, and kept her company on her valiant quest to fill her tank, with gas of course...I came home eventually, did my math, worked on a little art, did not work on my E/W sheet, yet again, I'll save that for tomorrow morning perhaps, I may want to get some rest for my driver's test tomorrow...I'm feeling really confident about it, and my auditions also...yeah...good night...also, yay, it is thundering and lightning out...

Quote of the day:
"Please remedy my confusion
And thrust me back to the day
The silence of your seclusion
Brings night into all you say"

I finally got to listen to some of my vinyls I recently picked up, while doing my evivdence/warrent sheet for American Studies...I have to say, I like Rick Wakeman's "Journey to the Center of the Earth" muchly, a 40 minute progressive rock piece...I also like the Eric Burdon & the Animals vinyl too...I picked up Iced Earth's Alive in Athens three-disc set today, and it is pretty good, I need to sit down and listen to it, with all this time I've got...I need to sit down and listen to the 60 vinyls I've yet to listen to, the 4 radiohead album's I've not heard, and a few other's...ArgH! I'm doing french right now, and ignoring my damned Evidence Warrent sheet...hmm...I'm really behind in Art, but oh well, I don't care...I really wish my Crimson Glory cd would come, I'm really wanting to listen to it right now...Don't you hate it when you get into a band that has broken up, and their shit is so amazing and great? I dislike it, it sucks...work wasn't so bad today, Carmen and Joshie stopped by and stayed awhile, which makes it good...Last night, Mrs. East said she'd verify the cart that was there, but no! she didn't...and Mrs. Kayser and Janet Zimmerman(I think), the only ones who help out around there, didn't verify it either...That is what takes me the longest, flipping through those damn books to check for rips, and repairing them if they are small...Argh, I wish they'd hire another page to make the work load less on me...dammit, I'm pissed now...after work, I went over to the DMV to practice with the cones set up, and I did fine...So come Thursday, I WILL PASS, and then I can visit Carmen at work anytime! Yay! And now my dad is yelling...

Quote of the day:
"And I'm street, street lethal
Poundin' down the back roads
Higher than a steeple
Street, street lethal
Come and watch me ride "

I always seem to leave regretting what I've said...

Quote (song) of the day:

I am sitting
In the morning
At the diner
On the corner

I am waiting
At the counter
For the man
To pour the coffee

And he fills it
Only halfway
And before
I even argue

He is looking
Out the window
At somebody
Coming in

"It is always
Nice to see you"
Says the man
Behind the counter

To the woman
Who has come in
She is shaking
Her umbrella

And I look
The other way
As they are kissing
Their hellos

I'm pretending
Not to see them
Instead
I pour the milk

I open
Up the paper
There's a story
Of an actor

Who had died
While he was drinking
It was no one
I had heard of

And I'm turning
To the horoscope
And looking
For the funnies

When I'm feeling
Someone watching me
And so
I raise my head

There's a woman
On the outside
Looking inside
Does she see me?

No she does not
Really see me
Cause she sees
Her own reflection

And I'm trying
Not to notice
That she's hitching
Up her skirt

And while she's
Straightening her stockings
Her hair
Is getting wet

Oh, this rain
It will continue
Through the morning
As I'm listening

To the bells
Of the cathedral
I am thinking
Of your voice...

And of the midnight picnic
Once upon a time
Before the rain began...

I finish up my coffee
It's time to catch the train

Work sucks...Why the fuck can'tt hose ladies get off their asses and help me out? All they do, when I'm there, is sit and gab...why? I'm the plow horse and the farmer, the sower and the harvester and the gatherer...it really pisses me off...I really wish I could go visit Carmen at work, it'd make her happy, and she visits me a lot too, which I am thankful for...this week I will get my license, so I can visit her easily, and get around...I've got this damned synthesis paper's thesis statement I need to work on, and some math, and practice Bassoon, and read Endurence...so much I want to do, but I can't...

On a lighter note, I recently picked up Iron Maiden's new album, Dance of Death and it is quite good...I'm happy that they haven't deminished to the level of Metallica...

Quote of the day:
"Over the hills and far away,
he swears he will return one day.
Far from the mountains and the seas,
back in her arms again he'll be.
Over the hills and far away."

My rat peed on my and my bed...uck...Right now I've got company over, cousins and aunts and stuff...I worked this morning, it was more of a drab and I just kind of rolled through the motions...Because of my five hours of sleep, as I was hanging with Carmen till the wee hours...and it was damned cold, well, only the ride home, as I took my bike...wee...I'm a crazy fuck...Friday night we lost, and the juu missed three point-after's I believe...I figured out how to completely annihilate Carmen, so she'd better be wary of Doug from now on...mwuhahahaha...School seems to be breezing past right now, not much worry there...yeah...I have 27 hours this pay period, so yay, more than I thought...although I have to work tomorrow...*cries*...First time I've worked on a Sunday...I believe someone is crying foul somewhere...

Quote of the day:
"We'll go walking out while others shout of war's disaster.
Oh, we won't give in, let's go living in the past"