shiznit05
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2004 29 June :: 10.26am
:: Mood: im really happy
my theory holds strong, time away from BG does help
NY was tons of fun...a little tedious at times, we went to so many forts, they're all starting to run together right now, but for the sake of an update i'll try to remember the events as they came...
wednesday:left here around 2, ran into BG, bought 2 CDs for the trip then met up with my parents at 3 to head off...we drove for about 7 hours, stoppping sporadicaly for food and potty breaks, we stayed in syracuse that night, met up with bill and robin and then headed off for a jam packed day...
thurs: woke up, jumped into the van, and headed off to see fort stanwix, my parents thought it would be really funny to take my picture next to the sign at every historical stop we made because they know how much i enjoy seeing forts and crap...so thats what we did. after stanwix we went to a battle site..i could tell you the word, but i cant think of how to spell it....oriskinee or something, idk, but i have a picture of me next to the sign! after that we went to Hermkimer home i believe...that was neat actually, we also went to a tomb for some guy...stuepen or something?...then we had to spend an hour at the chrysler dealership because bills van was being funky. we were supposed to stay at johnson hall that night but we ended up just going to the fort for the night because we were so close.
fri: woke up, went to vermont for breakfast so we could have real vermont maple syrup! so we went to the trappers lodge...remind me to tell you the story sometime about tom and dan and the moose...its good stuff, well we did that then we went to fort # 4 which is in new hampshire..that one was probably my favorite, there was a lot more interaction with people so it was nice, but the rooms in this place were nice...i want on of those beds!! took some pictures, then headed to crowne point, nothing too special there..and it was starting to rain. heading back into NY, had some dinner, then headed back to the fort.
sat: first day of the real reenactment! got all dressed in my nice garb, had some breakfast and spent the rest of the day walking around taking pictures, did some shopping, and a lot of talking. drove up mt defiance with my mom and robin, hike to the top, took a role of film took tons of pictures, hiked back down to the car then headed back to the fort, that night we went to bonnies for dinner....bonnie is amazing! she is me in 30 years..i see so much of myself in her. so that was tons of fun. her house is right on the lake, its gorgeous and her dog was amazing...i loved it there, i never wanted to leave...
sunday: woke up, dressed in grubby garb, had breakfast, and then did some more walking and picture taking...changed into normal clothing, helped tear down the tent, and we were out of there by 330. we drove until 10, ended up in buffalo for the night.
monday: got on the road by 9, drove for a bit, stopped for lunch, drove until 230 which was when we got home...i love home...
went out last night with amanda sara and stevie..we went to DW, caught up and shared some stories, hess stopped by, we went to the park, played on the swings, then decided to go walk downtown...daniel called, he and adam showed up, we walked for some more, met up with PL! talked to him for a bit, walked some more, went to wendys, got food, went back to the park, had tons of fun playing on the playground, then ian met up with us and we ended the night at daniels just hanging out, got home late, and stayed up until really late talking online...i need to learn to go to bed earlier...
and thats it...kinda boring right?
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 23 June :: 12.06pm
:: Mood: great
:: Music: counting crows
goodbye BG!
good bye bowling green...i shall miss thee...just a little though :)
i am extremely excited to get out of this town for awhile. now dont take this as complete and total BG bashing, but we all know that we sometimes need a break from monotony...this is my break, and i cant wait. i leave in about 3 hours, we're going to drive 6 hours, stop for the night in syracuse, meet up with the McBROOMS! i love them, meeting up with them, then driving a few more hours, stopping somewhere...idk where...then driving a few more to Mt Defiance, we'll drive up the mountain, go on a hike, take some gorgeous pictures that i'll have to share with adam so he can understand what ive been gushing out lately, then hike back down the mountain, get into our car, and then we're stayng at some mansion for the night...im not really sure lol im not told anything, the next day we're going to get to the fort fairly early, set up, see people, then cross the lake into Vermont to see Fort #4...yes thats its name #4...my parents have been to 1,2,and 3...so now they're up to 4, and boy am i bummed i missed the preceeding ones...damn...anyway, i get to wake up every morning to an open meadow, a gorgeous lake and 2 mountains...again, im taking pleanty of pictures because i keep talling adam and megan about it, but its so hard to describe, its just GORGEOUS...so have no fear, i have 6 rolls of film lol. i plan on getting a head start on one of my AP books, i should actually finish it before reaching the NY border...its a lot shorter than i thought it was but hey, im not complaining :)
i actually am going to miss my friends though...i had such an amazing time last night :) we met at megans house at 745...we being daniel ian stevie megan and i...sat around until 815 because we always get caught up talking, thenw e all jam into ians car and drive up to perry falls...i thought i sucked at mini golf, turns out im pretty sweet, i only lost by 1 point and that was to ian who played mini golf pretty much every damn day last summer with bob and adam and i think owen...anyway, adam and brian called and met up with us after our game, so we headed up to mr freeze....yummm....ate and chatted, had TONS of fun catching up with megan...we are just not meant to be seperated, i honestly think this is a record, it was a week and a half...im thinking its a record, but at least a few days, idk. after that we headed back to megans, played some pool...more like watched adam and ian play...and just hung out, then we were kicked out at 1130...megan and i ended up standing in the road for another 20 minutes after everyone left, i love megan/britt convos...:) it sucks though, shes gone for a long time, we get one night and then i leave for a week...lol oh well by next wednesday we should be able to hang out quite often
anyway, got home, talked to adam for awhile, then my computer acted up so i got kicked off without being able to say goodbye, i hate it when that happens, but oh well, woke up early, went to throwing, i was the only one...me and coach for an hour, it was a lot of fun though! its interesting to hear his take on the other throwers...it made me giggle, but i got a lot of work done, i was terribly off though today, but still throwing in the upper 32s, so im thinking a good day will be 34? hoping...anyway, i guess thats it
dont miss me too much while im in NY, and if you feel compelled to...call me cell, it'll be on me most of the time and if its not i'll call you back :) i'll see you all tuesday! muah!
3 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 21 June :: 2.38pm
:: Mood: sleepy
its been a few days...sorry about that
thursday night i stayed home and chilled with the family, i figured it they were leaving me i might as well soak up some time with them..so i stayed home and my mom and i watched a movie while my dad finished up their packing...quality time right?
friday my parents left for the fort before i woke up so i didnt see them...i was supposed to go throwing with hodges...nope, slept right through that alarm :) but oh well, i needed someone to come and pick me up and take me to the fort in order to take my parents extra vehicle from them, but ian was hanging out with ali, doug needed to pack, and i think sara was busy, as was stevie, so i asked adam, i wasnt expecting him to say yes, not because hes a big jerk or anything, but i know how he is about wasting gas and how thats pretty much the worst thing ever...but he did, he came out and got me and took me up there, which was amazing of him, so thanks bunches to him really, im so thankful for that, because if it werent for him i would have had to ask my grandparents and it would have taken forever! but oh well, its in the past and it all worked out well
that night sara came out after running a few errands, and then adam showed up, he called up daniel, and while we waited for him adam made sara and omlet which was yummy, and we watched zoolander for a bit, then daniel got here, then later herringshaw showed up with hess and rishel...fun times...lol
saturday mike and heather came out for a little bit...spent some quality time with mike before i ran into town to go to the gym and to kroger, turns out the gym was closed by the time i got there which was really dumb, but i went and visited sara at work and got some munches for people who were coming out that night...got home, mike and heather were still around, chatted with them, i needed a stick of butter, went to gmas, found tara, kidnapped her for awhile, made some cookies, mike and heather left, and sara and stevie showed up for girls night. ate some food, then adam and daniel showed up soon followed by ian...we played girl talk, upon the guys request...quite an interesting game..adam was point princess but refused to wear his crown...jerk. i think everyone else wore it though, that was a fun night, just hanging out....did ians hair while he wore saras shirt, that was quite the sight. then he found that black powder, tried to ignite some of it, but it was too humid, he'll come out one of these days and shoot the musket with my dad, along with the others...the boys left, so we started girls night...but then hodges showed up so we canceled girls night...hung out with him for a bit, he left around 130, so girls night was back on, watched some movies, chatted, figured out some stuf...shared some gossip...good times, megan needs to come back soon so we can include her!! we'll only have one day together before i have to leave now lol
my parents got home yesterday, and i pretty much slept the entire day because i got zero sleep the night before
today i was sweet at disc, then i went and visited my mom and then went to the gym...took a nap and now im here...im cool
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 17 June :: 10.47am
:: Mood: angry
people anger me...people either make act before they think with situations or they wait for something to be handed to them on a fucking silver platter. and while they're waiting they'll sit and piss and moan about how nothing is going their way and how sad they are and how depressing life is...well, you know why?? its because you're not doing a damn thing about it! happiness isnt something thats going to pop up one day, knock on your door and be like ok, im all yours now!! for the love of Christ people, life is whatever you make it out to be, if you take every bad action towards you as completely life altering and something that will inevitably make your life worse than thats exactly what its going to be. why cant people just move on from things, i understand that some actions are bad, and i understand that they will consume your mind for an x amount of time, but i also understand that dwelling on things never helps, and that thinking that something is the end only adds to the fact that that you're depressed about it and will make you moreso...so my advice to all...take life as it comes, what happens now wont be that big of a deal in a year. dont weigh the bad things in life moreso than the good...if you do that i can promise you life will be better, talk to people about how you feel..yes talk, dont analyze, analyzing never works, treat others as equals, dont be degrading, it hurts. try to make the best out of all situations, being an optimist isnt as bad as you think, if you're not happy where you are now, try something new, try to find something else that makes you happy, or if you already know what makes you happy...do it! living life isnt rocket science people, its just some of you make it more dramatic than it has to be
ok, now dont take all of that as an attack, its just a rant, i know im guilty of most of the things i just stated, but oh well
now that thats done...yesterday was fun, i woke up at 1030 after unplugging my clock when it said it was time for me to wake up for throwing...i was a big bum, and didnt go, but from what i heard i did miss much, hodges yelled because he didnt have a running buddy, but oh well, he'll live, i promise. i bummed around the house for awhile, then called up stevie, she needed someone to go shopping with so i went and picked her up and we went to meijer, bought some stuff for a friend of hers then came out to my house. watched how to lose a guy in 10 days..soemthing we pretty much always do. talked to daniel, got him to come out, called up sara, told adam and adam told ian, and doug came out after work...it was fun, we watched behind enemy lines and the sweet fight scenes in the patriot...then the group began to dwindle..stevie and doug left, with adam soon after, sara had to be home and then daniel got tired and left..ian stayed til about midnight..that was fun, havent seen him in forever so it was a nice change. he taught be how to read this sweet weather stuff so now when im with others i can read it and also feel sweet..to bad he taught me when i was about half asleep so i really remember none of it, but thats alright
last night i had a dream, my friends and i went to a circus, and the clowns were scary and the elephant was really tiny..like daniel size, i got a balloon animal and doug ate it, while ian stole my cotton candy..then they all left to join the circus and i went off to college, then i woke up
i think im gonna cut my hair
where's megan at? i think she died
today i think im going to stay home..maybe talk to my family..they are leaving me for the weekend, and then they leave next wednesday...
i love michael
y2wulff: you should be in bed young missy
WulffMsc: haha, when did you become the bedtime police?
y2wulff: yesterday was my commencement why weren't you there
WulffMsc: i knew there was something i missed yesterday!
WulffMsc: i'll send you a card tomorrow
y2wulff: i'm a junior deputy bed police
WulffMsc: do you have a badge?
y2wulff: do you
WulffMsc: no...
WulffMsc: im ashamed of myself
y2wulff: well then lets not judge
WulffMsc: haha
y2wulff: i gotta go to bed i have classes tomorrow
y2wulff: see yea later
WulffMsc: mmk, i'll talk to you later
y2wulff: bye
WulffMsc: night!
thats enough
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 16 June :: 1.24pm
Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.
How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.
Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.
Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?
Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?
You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Have an awesome day, and
know that someone
who thinks you're great
has thought about you today!..
Working for God on earth does not pay much,
but His Retirement plan is out of this world.
my grandparents sent this to me...they make me giggle
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 14 June :: 12.09pm
:: Mood: not too shabby
ive been neglecting this for awhile...i was afraid of saying things im going to later regret..but we'll give it a shot
thursday night was ians bday party...it started at 730, i got there at 930...mr and mrs dunn were happy that i finally made, they kept going on and on about wondering where i was...they make me laugh. but the 2 hour delay came because doug decided to throw a little firework thingy, you know those things that look like egg sacks that pop when you throw them?, yea dont throw those at neon windows...neon windows are fragile to begin with, the force of the little pop just put it over the edge...so i dont have my car anymore..its better sweet, that car was my first car and i really enjoyed being able to drive it quickly and such, but now i have a truck, which is nice but i just have to get used to it.
friday was kind of a blah day...i didnt really do anything until that night when sara amanda and i went to the safety of rountin concert, it wasnt that great, really loud, i couldnt understand the lyrics and i got a headache...lol i felt old. then we met up with doug and we went to see stepford wives...it was a decent movie, it had its funny parts, but it wasnt what i expected it to be...so i didnt really enjoy it.
saturday i took the acts...i sat by thuis kid named daniel..he was really cool, he came down from sandusky which was odd, but oh well, i enjoyed sitting by him, we had a nice conversation during our ten minute break...i just wish i would have like gotten his sn or something...oh well
that night i went out to nelsons bonfire..i actually had a lot of fun out there, played some frisbee and ping pong, chatted with some people, all in all a good time :)
i actually went to church on sunday..it had been about 5 weeks and thats not normal for me, so i woke up, went, had some communion...good times. then mom and i had two baby showers to go to...oh the torture...so much estrogen everywhere, i dont know how many times i was asked if i was going to college, where i was going, what my major was going to be and why...i also got the bf questions about every 5 minutes...next time i'll just put a sign on my back that says....cinci, secondary education because i want to, no leave me alone...that should work
last night i didnt go out though, but i got to talk to megs for awhile, i got to kinda spill my guts to her, ive been needing to for awhile and i finally got the chance to which made me feel better...she agrees that i deserve a trophy for all the shit ive been dealing with
i went to track this morning, threw with hodges for awhile, ian and golliver were throwing disc, but i got some nice throws in, one was in the 34s which made coach really happy, i just gotta keep working on it...i have a job interview today and then a hair appt and im going to spend some time in the gym...should be fun :)
hopefully something interesting goes on tonight...its been awhile since ive seen the boys
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 10 June :: 2.32pm
For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are that you're not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn't going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
-Andy Rooney
i stole that from corey's info...i like it
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 10 June :: 12.45pm
:: Mood: well pretty shitty
track banquet was last night...it was pretty good actually. i didnt really eat a lot, wasnt really in the mood for food, but i sat with the girls and it was a lot of fun. i left me parents, they sat with the dunns so they had someone to chat with. i gave abby her senior gift, i was a big goob and cried...not all out, just a few tears, but thats my throwing partner! shes gone now, she was always there for the past three years and next year i have no one...its really shitty and it makes me sad
i got my third year letter and scholar athlete award...i felt cool, coach said some nice things, and told me later that next year i have to really take a leadership role...being a leader of the team...thats gonna be hard since throwers are like their own seperate entity
went to emgans afterwards..with daniel and ian and doug and amanda, we played pool and just hung out, it was alright
came home..had like the worst night ever, and now im here, so fuck you
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 9 June :: 12.37pm
:: Mood: happy. but hot
yesterday was a lot of fun, i basically bummed around the house all day doing odd jobs until 4 when i had to leave for an sab meeting. the decorations committee had to get together and figure out what we wanted to order for homecoming. that meeting too about 2 hours, it was frustrating, because a majority of the people there werent too pleased with the theme the board voted on..but we tinkered with it a little bit and i think its going to be ok now. after that megan amanda kelly ali and i chatted in the parking lot for a bit, then amanda megan and i headed to the mall because i had to buy ian his bday present, ive had this thing picked out since january...im just glad the place still had it..haha. after that megan and i went to panera for some dinner...we chatted and did some people watching...people watching is fun. then we headed back to her house and found daniel online and then he came over. we didnt feel like being inside...megan and i had been inside a majority of the day, so the three of us played basketball...let me tell you, we've got some skills. the rest of the family showed up and we played with them some...good family bonding time with the mershmans, the bugs got to be unbearable, so we went inside and daniel wanted to play some pool..again, something we've got some mad skills at. played a few games, chilled out, it was cool....mucho fun
then todya i woke up early, went into BG and threw, ian and hodges were there, i dont really know why, because neither of them had implements, but they kept me company which really made me happy...granted they had to leave early for football, but the fact that there was no weirdness gives me high hopes, throwing is coming along though, im not being spectacular or anything, but at the same time i dont really have anyone there to tell me what i need to work on, after every throw today the only comments i got were "that sucked". it made me laugh, those boys are just too cool let me tell you
then i came home...and i slept haha, im so cool
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 8 June :: 1.35pm
:: Mood: not quite sure
ready for a long one?
so the other day, i was off going to many grad parties, and any normal person would be off having a carefree day...nope, im a thinker
so i was thinking and i came to two conclusions, im pretty damn proud of these conclusions too, and the few people that i told them to seem impressed...yup im sweet
conclusion number 1:
teen romance is not for everyone. ive decided that its not for me. im not someone who can sit around crushing on a guy. i always end up befriending the guy, and then losing all interest i ever had in him. instead i make him into a friend, and someone i cant picture living without, but only as a friend, he becomes my turn to person. so i was thinking the other day, while i was seeing couples pretty much everywhere i turned, i was like hmm...who could i picture myself with? well the answer was no one. and im ok with that, because i dont want to lie to myself and make me believe i like someone when i really dont. so its easier when i realize that theres no one in BGHS thats meant for me. theres the saying that theres someone out there for everyone, well my someone isnt someone i know yet. so we'll see what college has for me. that or what some other schools have...haha
conclusion number 2:
i wanna hang out with abby and amy a lot more than i do!! dont get me wrong, i love the group of friends i have now more than anything, they are people that i know will always be around and will always listen, but the monotonous ways we have are becoming a detriment. im not the only one who sees this either. so the other night i was out at abbys, and i felt so at ease. there was no stress there was no awkwardness, it was fun, and its because i was with the people i had grown up with. all of my friends now are "townies". they dont fully understand what i mean by a good ol' country party...they have no way of understanding...well a few might, but thats likle 2 i can think of, and the one is a definite maybe, anyway, so im deciding that i want to hang out with them more...go out with their group of friends, befriend more people, meeting people from other schools, keep the friends i have now, but just take a step back for awhile. let me see things from a distance.
at times i think im too mature for my age, lately, with how ive been acting, i realize that maturity is comes and goes, because right now, im acting like a 4 year old with certain situations. i do the same thing with mike all the time and im doing it now to someone that im not meaning to...i try not to, really i do, but idk, its habit i guess, hes gotta know somethings up too...he knows me too well to not - hes not stupid. so take this as an apology, even though he doesnt read this...but its not something i can talk to him about, just give me time, let me do my thing for a bit, it'll pass within a few weeks, it always does...ask mike
4 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 7 June :: 11.32pm
:: Mood: blank
schools out, its summer, watch me tremble with excitement
the last day of school was rather bland. it was the longest day ever, i went to spanish and listened to people give their presentations, then study hall where i just chatted and then 3 hours of american studies...it was soooo long!! we did a lot of nothing, just handing things in and getting things back, nothing too great, then school was out, and junior year was over, to celebrate, megan tara and i went roller blading, it was sweet
commencement was really nice, libby's speech was amazing, they were all great speeches, but hers really sticks out in my mind, then afterwards we went to broke in ians basement, i wasnt feeling too hot though, so i ended up leaving fairly early
saturday was crazy! 12 grad parties, they were all a lot of fun though, megan kelly carrie ali and i just loaded into the car and went, jackies was amazing, and abbys was the best time ever, megan and stram's was a lot of fun, kelly's, katie's and britts were cool, and carrs was a lot of fun with the falcons, Lukes was cute, so many family members, Ardys was similar, i got to ride a scooter at joels!! and gills house is absolutely amazing, Abbys was great though, good country party, i felt so at home, i had been at BG parties all day and to end the day with abbys where it was so comfortable and so much like the parties i had grown up going to...i was glowing, steive and megan could tell, i was happy there
sunday i met dani and robin down at polaris, did some shopping and bonding with them, i wont see them until niagra i believe, my mom and dad get to see them at Ti, which angers me, but oh well...at least i get to talk to them online...but we shopped, i got clothes i needed for my pics, so that was awesome...that night doug and amanda came out and we watched big fish..that was the 4th time i had attempted to watch that movie since i bought it and i was finally able to stay up during it!! its not a bad movie or anything, its actually a great movie, but i always try to watch it when im sleepy! oh well, it was a lot of fun
today was busy, i threw at 8 for about 45 minutes, then had breakfast with angie, sab meeting at 11, lunch, worked out for an hour and a half, then meeting at headleys, visited amanda at home, visited doug at work, then i came home and i slept for awhile...it was fun :)
tomorrows fairly relaxing though..i only have one meeting, so this is looking up haha
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 3 June :: 3.21pm
:: Music: fastball was on the radio on the way home...that brought back some memories
1 more day!! 1 more day!! thats it!
one exam day down, one to go...i woke up this morning, got into the shower and when i got out my mom was on the phone talking to carol and i found out we had a 2 hour delay, which completely ruins all plans for going out tomorrow for breakfast, but i ggot an extra 90 minutes of sleep this morning, so it was ALL bad. went to school, wore my sweet tie-dye shirt ;) and went to band, it was dumb, i cleaned out my locker, and we played dumb songs for tomorrow night...after that i had to go take me chem exam, it wasnt bad at all. there were only a few that i had to really sit there and think about so thats a good sign, i finished with about 20 minutes to spare, so i took a nap. after that we had lunch, and megan amanda and i went down to see who all made madrigals, hodges made it which is awesome, and megan was really happy with the results, they really meant nothing to me, but its cool, after lunch i went and took the math exam, it was extremely easy, i barely used my cheat sheet, which is nice....
tomorrow i have spanish which we just watch presentations, i already did mine, so im basically just going to sleep...then study hall, yup, more sleeping, i dont think its worth it to leave really...then 3 hours of american studies! thats going to be torture! but we're eating ice cream, so yay
i just heard this song for the very first time and it made me laugh
Well I saw you with your hands above your head,
Spinning around, trying not to look down,
But you did, and you fell,
Hard
On the ground
Then you stumbled around for a good ten minutes,
And I said I've never seen anyone look so dumb before
And you laughed and said
“I still know how to turn you on though”
And you're the only one who
Drags me kickin and screamin through fast dreams
And you're the only one who
Knows exactly what I need
And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like the time when I forgot to tell you about the scar,
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you're not what I expected,
But you're the only one who knows how to handle me,
And you're such a great kisser,
And I know that you agree
And you're the only one who
Drags me kickin and screamin through fast dreams
And you're the only one who
Knows exactly what I need
I hope you can forgive me for that time
When I put my hand between your legs and said it was small,
Cause it's really not at all
I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down
Just to keep you around,
Cause the day that you realize how amazing you are
You're gonna leave me!
And you're the only one who
Holds my hair back when I'm drunk and get sick
And you're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean
And you're the only one who
Drags me kickin and screamin through fast dreams
And you're the only one who
Knows exactly what I need
Exactly what I need
Well I saw you with you hands above your head,
Spinning around, trying not to look down,
But you did, and you fell,
Hard
On the ground
its interesting...
thats it
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 2 June :: 6.14pm
:: Mood: could be better
interesting week so far...
sunday night i made a late night visit out to jackies house, she was in no shape to stay alone, and i would never have forgiven myself had i let her, so i went and stayed the night there, kept her mind of off things and chatted, stevie and doug came out for a bit too...adam and i also started talking again, its nice and confusing...we're so completely lost haha
next day we went into the lab, finished our movie, then off to band, the parades were the same as always, long. but the bus rides and lunch were entertaining, as long as you're surrounded by people that you like, any bad situation can be made ok. went back into the lab, finished the movie completely and then headed home to work on my spanish presentation...instead i slept..haha
tuesday...went to school, started commencement band, and did a lot of nothing. tim cam back and tie-dyed with us! it made me happy, he said he came in for me :) i love tim, im gonan miss him so much!
today we finished our shirts...i really like mine hehe, not to sound like im blowing my own horn or anything, but mine is sweet lol did more of nothing, but i saw bob!! i havent seen him since thurday before districts, so i finally got to tell him how well i threw and everything, he was happy for me. im going to miss him a lot too...stupid bob and tim having to graduate! grr
hmm, tonight i need to finish my cheat sheets...then i can do well on both of my exams tomorrow and then thats it...fridya is the biggest blow off day ever, just listening to presentations in spanish and turning things in in AS....and a study hall which i'll leave for...ahh..life is good right now :)
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 30 May :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: im ok
ok, ive neglected this thing for long enough, its probably time for one of those entries that i just ramble in...
Pops concert went well, it was more fun than anything, normally by pops the band realizes that we dont care, so we just have fun with the performance, and headley doesnt care, so it was nice, thanx to everyone who came :)
the week at school was fairly boring, we dont do anything, its all redundant and at times nerving because it gets frustrating, it was odd however, not going to track, at the end of the day it was like well...i can stick around in the G4 or go home...this sucks
ive actually learned a lot in the past week though. ive learned that as hard as i try i cant please everyone. theres always someone out there that im going to piss off because i didnt think before i acted. but ive learned that i have to not care about it. if the person is going to get all hot and bothered because i neglected to do something or didnt follow through or just plain forgot then thats their problem. my only priority is making me happy and i havent done that in awhile, i let myself be too affected by other people that i just wasnt being me, as corny as it sounds, i dont give a shit
i also learned that im stronger than what i thought. i can deal with things better than i thought i would. honesty the past two weeks have been hell on my self esteem. it seemed like everyone was out there to point my flaws out to me. doug had a problem with me so both he and carmen felt the need to point it out in their journals, adam and i had a fight where he pointed out some things, jackie got pissed off and called me some names, it was just hard to take in the time span of a few days. but thats when the realization of me not being able to please everyone came into play. im not saying that im going with the motto of fuck everyone or anything, but im just saying, if i piss you off its not completely intentional, im just learning that i have to put myself before others and thats not the way ive been living my life up until now, so its kind of a shock to everyone else...but i had this talk with hodges, and he made some sense of it...its about time i put myself first
yesterday daron ian and i went to regionals, it was soo cool, there was so much talent there, i was in awe the entire time, we watched two girls break state records, and we saw some amazing shot putters...i talked to coach for a bit, he's got my goals lined up for me for the summer, we start that next monday...it should be interesting
last night we went to nelsons, girls and guys seperated, much like a junior high dance, ive got my theories on why that was, but im not going to say anything, because ive also learned that my mouth gets me into trouble quite often. after that amanda sara and i went to see shrek 2...it was cute, it was quite good, but not as good as the first, just because the first was amazing, and the second just followed suit.
today we edited, it went well, and tomorrow it should all be wrapped up, mainly because it has to be or we fail...
i talked to megan last night on the phone...we've kinda decided that our "group" needs to take like a week off from each other. life has become so complicated, not only for me, but for everyone. i think if we were to just take a step back, take a little breather, and then reunite we would be ok, because we would understand why we all were friends in the first place. i hate to say it, but lately ive been looking at people and not understanding why we're friends...ive done it with the oddest people too...like megan, we dont really have a lot in common, but i love the girl to death. but really, how did we become friends, its odd...shes so peppy and im not. but it works...and ian...we all know how much i love that kid, but at the same time, i go through phases of not understanding him and not liking him at all...its like aunt elaines saying...1 boys a boy, 2 boys half a boy, and 3 boys is no boy at all. at times i'll be talking to him and i wont understand why i once considered him my best friend, and then other times its like i cant picture myself not being his friend...idk, its just odd how people can have so many sides to them, and its just hard when one time theyre amazing and the next time you see them they've made a 180 and you want to run away and cry as a result
idk, my mind seems so full right now and i cant get anything out of it that really makes sense
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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shiznit05
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2004 23 May :: 12.06pm
:: Mood: im ok
its been an interesting week...
schools been pretty much a waste lately, we're not pushing anything academically at all, we're basically just there to waste time until teachers can give us exams.
AS has been coming along, jackies been kicking butt in the lab, and sara and i went yesterday and tried to finish some things, we got all the images imported and started to fit some of it in, but its hard to understand jackies writing when she wrote it so only she could understand it, but its coming along, we've got all week, and megan and i finally dont have track after school to occupy us
speaking of track, districts was amazing. wednesday it was discus and i threw a 94'9'', which is good for me, but i needed to break 101 to get into finals, neither stacie and i made it, she only threw a 96 or so, but it was still a good time, i really enjoy meeting throwers from other schools and chatting with them, they're interesting. then the rest of the night i hung out with megan carrie daniel daron kelly and some others....kyle and i did the army crawl across the field, and i later found out that the coaches were laughing at us from the stands..eh, idc, when am i ever going to talk to all those people ever again, and who all really knew it was me? i was having fun haha. i got home a little after 11 that night, which wasnt too bad, but i did zero homework so...eh. thursdays practice was fun, i told bob that even though he was technically done he had to come to one last practice because we would never practice together ever again. so he came :) he skipped warm ups, but that doesnt matter. i was glad he came, and we kept joking about how we were never going to see each other ever again!! too bad i went and visited him yesterday at meijer. haha. friday...amazing!! it started off so badly though, we got to tiffin and we were put on a weather dealy, and then they put us all in the school, and everytime lightning struck we had to wait 30 minutes...we ended up delaying 2 and a half hours...it was torture, most of the team sat in a circle and played dorky elementary games, but at least they were entertaining. by then i had lost all ambition to throw...haha, i was wrong, i barely made finals with a 32'2.75'', i took the last spot and i only got it by a little more than an inch...well then coach was like well, just get it up because all my prelims were flat, so my mom pulled out the list of all the things ian told me to remember, she read them to me, i remembered to get it high and i busted out a 34'3''....that felt amazing, i ended up throwing a 34'4'' and placing 6th...i was 4.5'' from qualifying for regionals..its a bummer but at the same time, that was a 10 inch pr so i have nothing to be upset about, coach was positively giddy though, it was amazing
megan and i left districts early to go to relay, we got there, started walking, got daron ready...he looked pretty good...he didnt win, but it was still fun, walked some more, got best camp site...walked some more, it started to rain, and they ended up canceling relay, that was the biggest let down ever, after all the preparation, for it to be canceled at 1am...i was sad, but ian helped me pack up all my stuff into my car and then we went home
sara and i edited yesterday, went out to lunch with daniel, and then came back into town last night to watch troy, i got carded and the guy wasnt to pleased when i asked for 2 tickets and didnt have another id, but there was noting he could do about it, so i got ians ticket. it was a good movie though, i enjoyed it, but brad pitt isnt a very good actor, so it kinda took away from it...we went to DQ afterwards and met up with ali and megan...we were only there for a short while, and it was fun, and i got ice cream..whats not to like?
today we've a concert, and rehearsal...should be interesting, everyone should come, its at 7 at kobacker and its free!
thats it
2 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it
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