talking to myself again...
Tough, you think you’ve got the stuff
You’re telling me and anyone
You’re hard enough

You don’t have to put up a fight
You don’t have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don’t have to go it alone

And it’s you when I look in the mirror
And it’s you when I don’t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can’t make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I...that’s alright
We’re the same soul
I don’t need...I don’t need to hear you say
That if we weren’t so alike
You’d like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don’t have to go it alone
And it’s you when I look in the mirror
And it’s you when I don’t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can’t make it on your own

I know that we don’t talk
I’m sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you’re the reason I sing
You’re the reason why the opera is in me…

Where are we now?
I’ve got to let you know
A house still doesn’t make a home
Don’t leave me here alone…

And it’s you when I look in the mirror
And it’s you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can’t make it on your own
Sometimes you can’t make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can’t make it on your own

Had another great weekend. I'll probably update on that tomorrow, but in a nutshell: good wedding, good food, good gifts, and great parents.

Update on the graduation party thing: the tenative plan now is to rent a place for a Saturday and do something along those lines. My parents and I also decided that we should wait until after the holidays so everybody can come and we can do a decent job of planning it. We are looking at the end of January or the beginning of February (probably the 29th or the 5th). My parents are checking a couple places in GR and I'm getting a quote from Monaco Bay (EEE!!!) on what one of their private parties run. I'd kinda like to keep it in K-Zoo, but we'll see how prices run. I'll keep you updated.

Top 10 Bands/Artists I Want to See in Concert Before I Die
1) Coldplay
2) U2
3) Modest Mouse
4) Dashboard Confessional
5) Bob Dylan
6) Ben Folds
7) Fiona Apple
8) David Byrne
9) Dave Matthews Band
10) Franz Ferdinand

Had a relatively shitty birthday, up until I went out to Shakespeare's with "the lab" after our meeting last night. Nice place; good food. People kept buying me shots... I love birthdays. Chris ended up driving me home last night. She was sloshed herself, but good enough to drive. Ended up puking for the second straight year, thankfully this time in the toliet. Evidently, hugged said toliet for an extended period of time, talking to myself. (Things get hazy here, I'm relying on anecedotal reports from Joseph). Talked with him about sexual repression and how much I missed my car. Called into work this morning for the first time in the two and a half years I've been with the company. Head still hurts. Caught up on Lost, also watched ATHF, The Simpsons, and Arrested Development. Joe and I got Arby's 5 for $5.95. Delicious.

Nice taking a day to myself. Glad I listened to Chris. Hmm... I'm hungry again. There, you're caught up.

(edit 4:39pm)
Badly Drawn Boy
Saint Andrews Hall, Detroit, MI
Sat, Nov 27, 2004 08:00 PM
Tickets - $20
Anybody interested?
(/edit)

Lurking in the Shadows
"Everybody knows, the longer you hold something in, the better it feels when you finally let it out."

So, if there's ever a day to balance my responsibilities with having a bit of fun along the way, today's the day.

I'm purposely minimizing all of this to enhance the feeling when it does come. It's kind of like auto-erotic asphyxation, but that's not a very nice analogy (although it does quite a masturbatory quality to it).

33 days until I graduate from Western. It's not the achievement I'm excited about, it's the fact that I'll be done. I'm debating about taking a month (or so) long hiatus after I'm done. I want to travel; I want to veg. I want to do all the things I haven't had a chance to do this year. There are others I'd like to do that I've never had a chance to before.

I wrote this Friday, 8 or 9pm-ish, during my family gathering at my Mom's house. I didn't have internet access at the time, so I share now:

"A couple things running through my head today. The first is my on-again, off-again desire for domestic tranquility (i.e. my desire to settle down, find a job, start a family) and my longing to hold onto some of my adolescent freedom. I don’t normally find myself wanting to grow up overnight, but when I look at my oldest cousin and his adorable son, I think, 'Yeah, I can see myself there.' But then I remember, I don’t think I have ever had as much freedom in my life as I do right now. No strings attached; I can do just about anything I want, go anywhere I want, the world is on a string, blah blah blah.

I guess I just want my cake and to eat it too; I want someone to care for/to care about me and still have my freedom in the process. (That's all I ever really wanted).

The other issue is my mother’s house. They’ve been in this place (I’m here now) for ::counts:: two years and a handful of months, and ever since I lived here the summer of 2002 and left to go back to school, there’s been something about this house that’s, to put it bluntly, depressed and even scared me about this house. I have trouble spending a lengthly period of time here, especially alone, and the only times I can remember spending the night here in a while I’ve had company. Leaving to go back to Kalamazoo from Hudsonville at night or at the end of a weekend stay, I’ll often have issues with no explicable cause, and tonight, taking the greatest shower in recent memory (I love high pressure shower heads), a hypothesis occurred to me. This house is haunted. Haunted by the memories of past memories and past loves. You see, there’s no lengthy history here like there is at my Dad’s house; no secure, stable period to form a solid base to lean upon (i.e. I don’t feel entirely safe here). My earliest memories with this house were paired with the ending of my first relationship and the 2002 Grand Haven affair (no pun intended). Anyway, moving on, those feelings are not here tonight, not yet anyway, and I have about as much explanation for their absence than I did for their presence.

Saw Incubus last night at Michigan State. Great show and I had a good time with Leeder and his friends/roommates. So that was fun. And that’s about all I’ve got for now."

Jason's Hindsight = 100%: Went home Friday night from my Mom's house without incident, partially because the party was a good time and because I was able to enjoy Nick Cave's new double CD which my grandma had given me earlier that evening. I'm actually kinda looking forward to going back home (to my Mom's house) this weekend for a wedding.

Oh, this is going to be a long one...
"It's never too late to become who you might have been."

Had an excellent weekend, porque:

- Work was a breeze and even a little fun at times.
- Enjoyed a nice evening and some interesting conversation with Travis and Amy on Saturday.
- Had a delicious Spicy Italian pizza from Papa John's, more than making up for the disgusting Domino's Doublemelt we endured last week.
- Went to State to visit Leeder, which was a good time.
- Got hit on by two waitresses since Thursday.
- Tapped a keg on Thursday and got away without paying anything (Mwahahahaha!)
- Saw Incubus w/ Ryan @ State. Kick-ass show; even liked it better than the last time I saw them.
- Enjoyed family get-together on Friday and got to see my cousin's two year old (the cutest kid in the state of Michigan, at least).
- Bought a couple of CDs from Best Buy yesterday (Coheed and Cambria & Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road).
- Got treated to a delicious dinner at Bennigan's last night by Joe (Thanks again Joe!)
- Umm... they had my movie (Home @ the End of the World) in at VHP.
- OK, I'm grasping at straws now.

Also, I'm pleased to report, after a long abscence, my luck has officially returned. As evidence, look at aforementioned pleasant experiences and view:

- Said pizza from Papa John's was free after Joe watched it fall from the conveyer belt onto the floor.
- I think the Lube Brigade back home replaced my wiper blades without charging me.
- My Spanish instructor decided to exempt an extremely hard portion of the last test we took, raising my score from a 70% to a 90%.
- Umm... amazingly enough, I have no scheduling conflicts to iron out this week.
- Again, grasping at straws.

While waiting for Leeder, et. al. to wake up on Saturday, I made a few lists (behind the cut):

Read more..

And I'm spent.

All when the dust settles...
I think what's bothering me most about this election (and really, to tell you the truth, not all that much is bothering me about it) is the fact that over the course of four years we haven't changed. Last weekend, I went to a friend's Halloween party, where I saw a number of people (5-7 let's say) I knew from high school, and all of these people, with the exception of maybe one, all of these people's characters have changed so little, for better or for worse, and it depressed me to a state where I eventually had to leave, frustrated by these people doing exactly the same things I watched them do four years ago. Now, a week later, I have seen this phenemeon multiplied by an entire country. With a few minor exceptions, the electoral map, when it was all said and done, was almost identical to the one we saw in 2000. Aren't people's values and beliefs suppose to grow, adapt, or just plain flip-flop as one grows older and hopefully wiser?

The feeling I had this morning about the election was similiar to the one I had after eating lunch at McDonald's this afternoon: satisfied, yet a bit bloated. I sympathize with my fellow liberal collegues, some of which are taking the results I bit harder than others, but I'm not suprised, angered, or much of anything by the whole ordeal. The system did its thing, and like the outcome of a championship game, somebody has to lose. And that's all this is; an overblown sports event. A bunch of commentators sitting around, filling the air (with occasional useful insights) until something important happens, spectulating and examining statistics until they are blue in the face, etc. etc.

People, you're widening your scope too much. Narrow the focus, and worry first about the promotion you're going for or the huge midterm scheduled for Monday before you start worrying about some kid of Rwanda that you're never going to meet or who's going to lead this country for the next four years. I mean, we put too much faith in one man. Imagine Kerry had found his way into office; I think the guy would have been more scrutinized than Bush is going to be for the next four years. It's a tough act to follow. At least we know what we are getting, whether that's your bag or not.

... Eh, I can't keep this up. This aire of experience, knowledge. I don't know any better than you. The point is that it's good to have convictions and values and be involved in the world, but if you've got enough stress with your own personal issues, why take on more?

Look at life as if it were a fair. Ride everything once, stop once and a while and sit down on a bench and soak it all in, play the games while realizing that all of these peddlers are out to get your money, feel really damn good when you beat the system and win a giant stuffed panda, and you better damn well give that panda to your honey right next to you, because all we have is those few moments before the whole shindig shuts down, picks up, and leaves town. And don't worry, it'll roll through again, but until then it's back to your 9 to 5.

Do what makes you happy, be responsible along the way, and make a few connections. The rest of the world will do the same; so try not to worry about them too much. When you go to a huge university, you make it a small campus by surrounding yourself with a handful of people who share the same interests and joys that you do. Don't try to do any differently with the world at large.

Self-centered does not equal selfishness. You can still give and put yourself first. Only stress the things that you really care about (i.e. the things that you've cared about up to this point), because the rest will be resolved in your mind way before they ever are in reality.

Self-destruct. Reconstruct. Adapt. Evolve.

Give up.

"scary feet, scary feet.. OH, the kid's awake!"
OK, so I just watched the Michigan/Michigan St. game. I could stop right there, but I have a little to say.

What a game! For two reasons. One: it was one of the best played games, from both sides, that I have seen since that Michigan St./Ohio St. insanity a few years back. It was the sort of game that you hate to see either side lose. And the U of M/MSU rivarly is the greatest in college football simply because it is always such a physical game; arguably the best three players on the field tonight ended up on the sidelines with injuries.

On a more personal level, I haven't been so on edge for a sporting competition since... watching U of M in high school, it seems. Nowadays, my allegiances to Michigan sports teams are divided pretty evenly among Western, Michigan State, and Michigan, but tonight the latter proved old habits die hard. Nonetheless, I wanted the overtimes to keep coming, and to hold onto that comforting, familiar anxiety a little longer. What a great time.

And now I'm watching Monsters Inc. I love re-visiting the past.

they don't love you like i love you...
A calm, peaceful ending to a insane, crappy week. It helps knowing that I have absolutely no responsibilities for at least the next 48 hours. I do need to figure out what I'm doing tomorrow. I've been itching to go home lately, but I can't rely on my contacts there, and I fear I'll end up sitting around w/ my thumb up my rear like I did a couple weeks ago. Better play it safe and go to the Halloween party I was invited to. We'll see.

Hey, question for everyone: I initially told my parents that I didn't want a graduation party in December. Now I'm kinda rethinking my choice. How many would be willing/able/interested in attending a graduation party in like mid-December? The thing is it would probably be back in Grand Rapids, because I don't have the space to throw a decent gathering here. Any feedback would be very much appreciated.

I want to know...
The problem with being hard-working, responsible, unwavering, is that when you are faced with free time you feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and uselessness. What am I not doing that I should be? How can I possibly let myself relax when there's so much to be done?

The graduate school application process is killing me. There is so much that has to be done, and when I'm not thinking about something else, I find myself obsessing over the whole thing. I did accomplish a fair amount today, but I still feel like I'm drowning in this sea of my future.

The order tonight for grad schools goes: Queens College, Nevada-Reno, Western, and then the rest. I'm liking the concept of getting lost in a sea of people and become this insignificant cog in a larger wheel. I also like the idea of going out West; they say Lake Tahoe is beautiful.

I was right about my future, my life. I'm still waiting for it to happen, and there's nothing I can do about it until a certain period of time elapses. As the past month or so has demonstrated, I can enjoy my time and my life and reach "my happy place," only still come spiraling back down and revert back to all of my old jaded cynicism (that's this week). Yes, life fluctuates; but I feel little stability in either. Perhaps I have felt more stability with my happiness this go around, but when I'm constantly faced with the fear of discontent and lapse, compiled with my insanely busy schedule, I can't find much time to enjoy it.

I want answers. I'm sick of rhetorical statements and questions that disperse into thin Woohu air as soon as they are stated. Why are things like this? I know it's going to change, but when? Will things change magically when at the beginning of the year and will this Christmas be the catharsis I'm expecting it to be? How I do react if they aren't? The vindication I've desperately been waiting has now been self-ascribed, but will I ever hear anything from an outside party? What good is it if no one is there to vouch for it? How can I possibly be content with holding so much back?

My zen moments are presented in short intermittent schedules of reinforcement, as if they were a five-second orgasm, that first bite of a warm pizza, or a brief connection with nature. It's here, and then it's gone. And it's worth continuing alone just for the search for that next high, but afterwards, all you are left with the reality of it all. And reality, whether it's good or bad, is still an insanely heavy load to carry.

And for perhaps the first time in my life, I hear a number of other voices sharing my discontent, my frustration, and my cynicism. That momentarily comforts me and then it depresses me. It I were simply an anamoly, we could simply cut off the diseased branch and the tree would continue to live. But what if the cancer has already spread to far, reached too many people?

I want to know what we fight for.
I want to know what we believe in.

I need double the amount of hours in a day for me to get everything done nowadays...

Thank god I don't have a social life anymore. I'd really be fucked.

It's getting to the point where I feel gulity for taking 5 minutes out to make a worthless journal entry.

I have the weekend off; my hope is not to squander it.

Two conversations. One in which I defend my heterosexuality; one in which I flirt like the lil' Cassanova I strive to be...

I LOVE the duality of life.

So this is how it's going to be. We're in store for another round. That's OK, I'll wait it out some more and then it'll die and it'll be over and who will care anymore?

I will. I won't.

I've discovered this great band. Courtesy of Yahoo! LaunchCast. TV on the Radio. I don't want/know how to describe them. It's nothing like I've ever heard before. I love it.

I want this sickness bliss to sneak into my soul, right here, right now, and kill me completely.

I want to stay there forever.

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
Come on, now.
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts,
Can you show me where it hurts?
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can't explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
Ok.
Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more ...Aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working. Good.
That'll keep you going for the show.
Come on it's time to go.
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

Music
I almost bought music legally online just now. Thankfully, I came to my senses. 99 cents per song... yeah, right.

I found Lauren Christy's debut album on Amazon for $1.39(!) plus S&H. I think I'll pay the extra 4 dimes and get the whole damn CD, as well as something tangible, thank you very much.

On campus today, I saw a flyer for a research study on decision making, but I couldn't decide if I wanted to be a part of it...
The following is an actual conversation between me and a middle-aged male guest at work last night. I swear to god, I'm not making this up. This is verbatim:

Guest: I love Menards, don't you?
Me: I wouldn't go that far. I don't love it, but I don't hate it either.
Guest: I know what you mean. You know what Menards is? It's like a giant syphilitic sore on the face of a beautiful woman.

(edit 4:17pm) - Grr, I keep forgetting... due to some peaked interested in Arrested Development (and Treehouse of Horror), I'm going to invite people over on the 7th to watch them. That, and it's my birthday two days later on the ninth, so that's another reason to get together. So... yeah.

GRE Scores
So, I got my scores back, and I don't mind sharing 'em with you, because I'm pretty damn proud of them.

Verbal - 580 (75th percentile, as in 75 percent scored below me... hehe, blow me)
Quanitative (as in Math) - 650 (57th percentile)
Analytical Writing - 6.0 (96 percentile)

Discussion: Verbal and Quantative are out of 800 points. I was amazed, because due to my skill repetroire and based on my performance on the practice tests I took, I expected to hit the verbal part out of the park and struggle on the math section. So when I saw a 90 point difference between the two, in the opposite way of what I was anticipating, I freaked out. But talking to a couple people and looking at the distribution, just about everyone gets a higher score on the math than the verbal, including moi, despite my perceived self-efficacy with the verbal section. Although, as you can see, my verbal percentile is still noticably higher than the quantative, so that makes me happy...

:-D <--- me happy

As for writing section ::becomes giddy:: the two essays I wrote were scored by two independent raters, and those scored were averaged together. These scores range from 1.0 to 6.0... as in I received the highest score possible. ::does a happy GRE dance:: So I knew, unofficially, my score for the first two sections immediately after taking the test, but I just got back the writing scores this evening, so that was a very nice suprise. All in all, I'm very happy w/ my performance, and it appears as though my preparation for the test payed off. (Thank you GRE for Dummies!) Next up, the Subject specific test (on Psychology) in mid-November.

Woot woot.

Jason's Behavioral Insight of the Day
Reading my assigned chapters for my Organizational Psychology class, I came across this very succinct and well-worded explanation of a conundrum that's always plagued me: the difference between the study habits of successful students and those who struggle to get by.

"The best that negative reinforcement will produce is just enough work to escape or avoid punishment. People never do what they are capable of when their motivation is to escape or avoid some unpleasant event or interaction. Many parents often find themselves saying to their children about their schoolwork, 'You only do enough to get by. You're not doing nearly what you are capable of doing.' If you have ever been part of a similiar conversation, you should now know that most schoolwork is under negative reinforcement control. Most children study because they are afraid of what will happen if they don't. It is only children who have been positively reinforced for learning who ever come close to maximizing their potential."
(excerpt courtesty of Aubrey Daniels' Performance Management, Third Edition)

My life, by the numbers:
- I just passed 90,000 on the Super-Sports-Mode Saab (although I personally have only logged several thousand of those)
- I just not too recently passed the 500 mark of journal enteries, and am well on my way to 600. 536 to be exact.
- Only 13 more enteries until I hit 1200 on the giant Movie list.

No cuts for you!!!
I had actually compiled these a couple days ago, but Meruan's post prompted to get 'em up here. Some pieces of prose/poetry from Brit Lit II that have struck me in the past couple of weeks:

Matthew Arnold, "Dover Beach"
"Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night."

Thomas Henry Huxley, “Evolution and Ethics”
“But, so long as he (man) remains liable to error, intellectual or moral; so long as he is compelled to be perpetually on guard against the cosmic forces; whose ends are not his ends, without and within himself; so long as he is haunted by inexpugnable memories and hopeless aspirations; so long as the recognition of his intellectual limitations forces him to acknowledge his incapacity to penetrate the mystery of existence; the prospect of attaining untroubled happiness, or of a state which can, even remotely, deserve the title of perfection, appears to me to be as misleading an illusion as ever was dangled before the eyes of poor humanity. And there have been many of them.”

Christina Rossetti, “In An Artist’s Studio”
“Fair as the moon and joyful as the light:
Not want with waiting, not with sorrow dim;
Not as she is, but was when hope shone bright;
Not as she is, but as she fills his dream.”

hell yeah, I remember...
Neo and Morpheus pull another “Vanna White” for my newest purchase:



Kick ass show, I might add. If you haven't had a chance to catch it yet (and I know that's a number of you), the season premiere is Nov. 7, after the new Treehouse of Horror. Lost is also rocking my world. Terry O'Quinn is the epitome of "IT." (I just checked IMDB... I guess he was born in Newberry, MI; anybody know where the hell that is??)

As I was driving down Sprinkle after hitting Best Buy, I saw this on a convenience store/gas station sign: “Yes! We have milk… and we speak English!” (exclamation points added by author) When did this become a selling point? And last time I checked, Kalamazoo is not the hot spot for non-English speaking immigrants. Times like that I wished I kept my digital camera in the car, but that’s just dumb.

So after switching my schedule around and rushing out of work, I checked a voice mail from Chris telling me that “mom” cancelled our session w/ our first participant. Taking advantage of said change of plans and getting quite a bit done this evening. I like quiet evenings to myself.

Eh, that’ll do for now. I don’t want to bore you too much.

(edit 9:31pm) - The cast of The West Wing looks a helluva lot older than they used to. Another mirror image of how I feel old(er).

"Ray" looks really too.

(edit 11:35pm) - "Your agenda of hope just made me want to crap my pants." Jon Stewart from The Daily Show

Don't want to stay inside for good...
"All revved up and no place to go..".

All I want to do is sit and watch TV on DVD and the Muppets. The Muppets rock in so many ways. Whereas David Byrne makes me happy 98% of the time, the Muppets make me happy all 100% of time. You can't beat that customer satisfaction rating.

Bah humbug! I wanted to go out tonight (and had plans to) but everybody has schoolwork or doesn't want to. Last local showing of Collateral, bowling, Monaco Bay, anything. Oh well.

So I spent A LOT of time thinking about it today, and I've made my list for school choices. I plan to apply to like 5 schools, and these is my current ratings (which I'm sure will change as soon as I post them). I also list whether a Master's program, doctoral, or both is available:

1) Western Michigan University (MA or PhD)
2) Florida State University (MA only)
3) Queens College in NYC (PhD only)
4) UCLA (PhD only)
5) Cal State in LA or University of Nevada-Reno (MA and PhD available for both, I believe)

And that's it for my "solid post" of the day.

I don't wanna vote anymore...
The more I try to run away, the more reasons I find to stay here. I've got a specific idea of what I want to do for graduate school and who I want to work with, but these preferences were formed by the programs I've been a part of and the professors that I've worked under. Of course, my interests are most going to match up with Western... which leaves me the question? Why am I running away? It's still the weather and the chance to be free. So, do I give up the best program for happiness or do I give up happiness for the best program (and we DO have the best program, I am immensely proud of that fact). I'm sure I'll satisfy both wherever I end up... but then there's this third variable. Which begs the question:

How long am I going to keep this to myself? I've told some, but they haven't been the person/persons I should be telling. Can we say fear of rejection? Of failure? Of an immense number of variables not coming together in my favor?

Answers to all of these questions come in the form an inability to commit to opening that Pandora's box. Because it seems like it's the most selfish and idealistic thing I could possibly do. I've worked so hard to get to my state of uber-contentment, do I want to endanger it so quickly? Wouldn't it be easier to just stay here and die my slow death, yet at the same time safe and flourishing professionally, but only within the confines of Wood Hall? Why can't I just transport the Psychology Dept. of Western's to a warmer climate? Why can't I just transport myself there?

I know how to give this up, I have that ability now, I always have, but do I really want to?

Eh, it'll work out. It always has.

David Byrne - Glad
I'm glad I've got skin, I'm glad I've got eyes
I'm glad I got hips, I'm glad I've got thighs
I'm glad I'm allowed to say the things I feel
I'm glad I got hair, glad I got ears
I'm glad I got lungs, I'm glad I got tears
Glad that I never ever know what's real

I'm glad I got lost
I'm glad I'm confused
I'm glad I don't know, what I like
I'm glad I got stoned
I'm glad I got high
I'm glad I found out I'm alright

I'm glad when the sex is not so great
I'm glad that I doubt, I know what they say
I'm glad when I get my girlfriends names confused

I'm glad I know how my life will end
I'm glad I don't have no common sense
I'm glad the things are wrong I thought I knew

I'm glad I'm a mess
I'm glad you don't mind
I'm glad you're better than me
I'm glad that I changed
I'm glad I'm not nice
I'm glad it's the way, it must be

I'm glad I can't see beyond myself
I'm glad when the conversation ends
It's good when it's bad, I'm glad it's not worrin' me

Track Listing
1) Badly Drawn Boy - What Is It Now?
2) Counting Crows - Amy Hit The Atmosphere
3) No Doubt - Ex-Girlfriend
4) Dire Straits - Romeo & Juliet
5) Elliott Smith - Everything Reminds Me of Her
6) Coldplay - The Scientist
7) The Guess Who - These Eyes
8) Sarah McLachlan - Stupid
9) Jeff Buckley - Morning Theft
10) Badly Drawn Boy - A Minor Incident
11) Eels - Dirty Girl
12) 19 Wheels - Really Stupid Girl
13) Evanescence - My Immortal
14) Pink Floyd - One Slip
15) Dido - See The Sun
16) Johnny Cash - I Still Miss Someone
17) Ben Folds - Gone
18) Fiona Apple - Love Ridden
19) Alanis Morissette - This Grudge
20) Elton John - I Want Love

Tonight was wonderful. I can't remember feeling more at home with a group of people (except for the freaky people I didn't know), mostly because those people predominantly make up the group of my closest and best friends.

When you can add up the number of years that you've known the people you hang out with on a given night, and that number exceeds your present age, well that provides you with a great time and a very pleasant slumber.

Good night folks, and thanks for a great evening.