sweetyas
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2003 27 November :: 11.17pm
:: Mood: blah
QUIZ
Are you a purple cow?
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anytngbtordinary
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2003 27 November :: 1.31pm
:: Mood: thankful
:: Music: Joseph Still!!! (2nd time through the cd)
Thanksgiving-part 2
Im back! Yay! Ok where did i leave off?
I think im going to make these a bit shorter...sorry guys lol. (you know..i dont think half of the people i put on here will read these lol...oh well) you know...these are more like memories...but i say thank you in there lol
Meghan- Im thankful for Meghan because she is so much fun to hang out with and we have fun times making cookies shaped like cellphones and ducks and snowmen. Then of course there was dealing with me over the summer and hanging out at camp and at softball and arguing..."did" "didnt!" it went something liek that...and after the first hour of saying that...we couldnt remember what we were arguing about lol. Oh and of course never being able to decide on what to do. Good times!!! Thanks Meghan!
Wender- Yeah im really thankful for Wender. Its fun to talk to him on the phone, though i eventually fall asleep and wake up to hear how he was trying to manipulate my dreams -.-. Yeah, i have to thank him for the long talks...weve come a long way with that...we went from being too afraid to talk...to still being afraid to talk, but we still do (it only takes a few hours to get on the topic we want to talk about lol) And Im thankful for him because he stayed home with me once when my mom wouldnt let me leave and we watched lion king and it was fun. Then The Ballad of the Sad Cafe...that was a good time. I had so much fun in that show and kinda working on lights...he taught me so im thankful for that too lol. Then just the times we hang out are usually fun. Then i have to thank him for not being against me when everyone else was, so thank you wender im really glad ive gotten to know you dont forget me when you go to college :( ill miss you so please dont stop talking to me this year before you leave!
Jorie and Sandy- Yes its strange, but i have to thank Jorie and Sandy. for Jorie-This is because there was a time where i felt she was the only one that understood me. Both- For the small portion of my life, they comforted me a lot and made me feel like i wasnt that terrible of a person. So for that small time, both made a difference, and still is making a difference (in a different way), in my life. So Thank you Jorie and Sandy we had good times :-D.
Benton- I have a lot to thank Benton for. Hes another one who never really was against me and ive had so many fun times with him. He comforted me when i was really bothered by something or someone and i thank him so much for that because he was really helpful. Then with him, there was the pumpkin throwing and the tennis, and the the golf that one time. Oh and of course there is gym and the drawing of my sandal so it wouldnt break...but i ended up killing it anyway. Its been fun and i dont want him to leave for college...it will be so depressing. Thank you Benton, you are so awesome and i never want to lose your friendship...have fun at Augustana with Johnson if you go and dont forget me!
Nick- I have to thank Nick because like Jorie and Sandy he was really helpful at one point. I used to tell him a lot, and sometimes he gave good advice. So thanks Nick!
Hul, Kyle, and Neil- They are so funny and im so glad i became friends with them! They are a lot of fun to hang out with and they make me laugh. Hul and Kyle- the pumpkin throwing...and um the trees outside of sandys house (ewww) and the ding dong ditching...that was a fun night. Kyle- hes crazy but i think hes the funniest guy esspecially when hes bored. At first i thought he was really shy but now i think hes nuts hehe. But thats ok cuz hes awesome im glad i know him. Hul- Fun memories with Hul. I have to thank him for going to my first Rated R movie with me and for laughing at me when i hid my face. Then of course for watching X-men together over the internet...that was funny, and for reminding me to watch That 70s show, and for playing on the light bright thing with me at lisas, and for owing me a helicopter and 10 dollars! ANd just for being the first person i met in theater and for bringing everyone over to my house that ontime (well...not sure if i should thank him for that....hmmm hehe). Oh and for having the coolest eyes and smile! Yeah he wins that award! Then Neil- just cuz hes neil and hes fun and im glad i know him too. Thanks you three! Your awesome and your keeping this year interesting and fun for me! Oh, and dont go to college! You guys should stay another year! It will be fun...do it!!!
Spencer and Jill- Spencer i have to thank because he was the second person i met in theater and he was a fun guy to be around. And Jill i have to thank because shes fun to be around and talk to too. Oh and that one time we sat in the props closet with the guitar and the fake candle..that was so much fun! Jill your such a funny person and fun to be around...thanks!
Lisa- I can thank Lisa for calling me...i love when people call me and want to hang out..its fun! Lisa is fun and it was fun playing games at her house that one time. Oh and the good old days in Girlscouts and Brownies and stuff like that. Hehe we go way back! Thanks Lisa!
Stacey- Thanks to Stacey for lunch and Study hall and the random yelling out stuff in the halls. Oh and her letting me bitch to her about my parents. Thanks also for way back in 7th grade when you made my parents think you were crazy cuz you refused to say hi to them but hid behind a pillow. Oh and the funness in orchestra lol.
Chris- Thanks to Chris for giving me rides and for being funny and fun to talk to, for yelling at me when i dont say hi to him in the halls, for not being involved in all the drama, for being super ticklish, for telling me that i could talk to him if i ever need to that one time and for the hug that same time...that really helped, i can even thank him for making fun of hanson all the time...it makes liking hanson even more fun lol. SO thank you Chris, your awesome :).
David- David has always been one of my favorite guys...ok well not always but since last year when i met him. Hes so funny and hes good at cheering people up. I want to thank him for just being a good friend and for being so immature in history because he makes history class a lot more interesting...cept when he scares me when i wake up lol. Also, ill thank him for fun times in gym, fun times in crew, and all the fun times last year. Thanks David!
Q- Q is a great guy and im glad i helped to bring him out of his whole not talking to people stage. He was fun to hang out with in Theater Class and over the summer. Hes fun to see after 6th period right before i go to lunch and right before 8th period, then during gym even though he doenst talk that much. Thanks Q your awesome!
Yasamin- Ive gotten to know you better over this last year...and i've discovered what an awesome person you are. Thanks for listening to me and for helping me with Physics. If you ever need anything or just need some one to talk to...im here...because you helped me last year more than you can know. Thanks :) (7-06-04)
Lastly...(i think and I hope!)
Stunkel- I thank Stunkel because he is hilarious! Hes so random and i love his secret love notes that he used to pass out, those were so funny! I also loved his note to me on my birthday and the Happy St, Patricks day/ birthday card.
So Thank you Everyone...have a Happy Thanksgiving and i shall be joining my family now!
~Jackie
2 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow?
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mudpiegrl
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2003 27 November :: 1.30am
:: Mood: in pain
i dont feel well...my head relaly hurts nad its in my ears now too.....my mum thinks i have menegitis or some shit and wants to take me to condell....but i hate medicine...not so much doctors, but the medicine they always prescribe. i used to always get sick when i got meds.....am allergic to penicillin, amoxicillian (which contains penicillin), suprex, and codine. yup...i always used to throw up so even advil i hesitate to take. yea. my head realllllly hurts...it has all day.
2 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow?
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mudpiegrl
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2003 26 November :: 9.18pm
hey guys, i found this persons journal...somehow...i dont quite remember, but i liekd the picture so i saved the link and i just read this story they wrote, i think...lol it doesnt seem real, unless its based, you know...but anyways, tisnt myn, do remember, the link and credit is at the bottom.
bye
6:41 p.m. -- 2003-11-26
andy beast: you have a big mouth, you know it? Rachel blew me off at the prom, giving me some bullshit story about how I raped you. You know thats a lie. I never raped anybody. I don't have to. You wanted it just as bad as I did. But your feelings got hurt, so you started spreading lies, and now every girl in school is talking about me like i'm some kind of pervert. You've been spreading that bullshit story for weeks. Whats wrong, ugly, you jealous? Can't get a date?"
The words fall like nails on the floor,hard,pointed. I try to walk around him. He blocks my way. "Oh no. you're not going anywhere. You really screwed things up for me." he reaches behind and locks the door. click.
me:*silence*
"you are one strange bitch, know that? A freak. I can't believe anyone listened to you." He grabs my wrists. I try to pull them back and he squeezes so tight it feels like my bones are slintering. He pins me against the closed door. Maya Angelou looks at me. She tells me to make some noise. I open my mouth and take a deep breath.
Beast: "you're not going to scream. You didnt scream before. You liked it. You're jealous that I took out your friend and not you. I think I know what you want."
His mouth is on my face. I twist my head. His lips are wet, his teeth knock against my cheekbone. I pull my arms again and he slams his body against mine. I have no legs. My heart wobbles. His teeth are on my neck. The only sound I can make is a whimper. He fumbles to hold both my wrists in one hand. He wants a free hand. I remember I remember. Metal hands, hot knife hands.
No.
A sound explodes from me
"NNNOOO!!!"
I follow the sound, pushing off the wall, pushing andy evans off-balance, stumbling into the broken sink. He curses and turns, his fist coming, coming. An explosion in my head and blood in my mouth. He hit me. I scream, scream. Why aren't the walls falling? I'm screaming loud enough to make the whole school crumble. I grab for anything, my potpourri bowl- I throw it at him, it bounces to the floor. My books. He swears again. The door is locked the door is locked. HE grabs me, pulls me away from the door, one hand over my mouth, one hand around my throat. He leans me against the sink. My fists mean nothing to him, little rabbit paws thumping harmlessly. His body crushes me.
My fingers wave overhead, looking for a branch, a limb, something to hang on to. A block of wood-the base of my turkey bone skulpture. I slam it against Maya's poster. IT doesnt hear. IT breathes like a dragon. ITs hand leaves my throat, attacks my body. I hit the wood against the poster and the mirror under it, again.
Shards of glass slip down the wall into the sink. IT pulls away from me, puzzled. I reach in and wrap my fingers around a triangle of glass. I hold it to andy evans neck. He freezes. I push just hard enough to raise one drop of blood. He raises his arms over his head. My hand quivers. I want to insert the glass all the way through his throat, I want to hear him scream. I look up. I see the stubble on his chin, a fleck of white in the corner of his mouth. His lips are paralyzed. He cannot speak. thats good enough.
Me: "I said no."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Im going away for a while. Im not over it yet...Im just not.
-nikki-
i will miss you all.
BYE, Journal: Don't piss me off
4 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow?
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mudpiegrl
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2003 26 November :: 8.33pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: classical radio station
complaints anyone?
so am drawing my art project. the radio is on classical music. no one is home or online. i dont want to read, parents are obnoxious, tv is annoying, dad is on tv; cant watch a movie, which jen has most of them, and blockbuster is closed. tmro is thanksgiving. im getting a 51 in history and something low in algebra, and my head hurts...i have to pee, forgot to call kate, almost got in an accident/stopped by cop, the hum of the computer is driving me nuts, i want go out but am too tired, i still have to pee, its nine thirty, i want to sleep, i really have to pee...i want better music.......::starts peeing:: oh crap! well, that adds to the list...lol jk...brb...my shoulder hurts, im complaining too much, im bored, am thirsty, my head still really hurts, im pathetic, the noise is irritating, i wish i could drive, am scared to drive, my ear hurts, am a ice-box in the heart department, my walls are strenuously plain, jen has my brushes at her house, jill seems to be mad at me, and hasnt said otherwise so i still think she is, my dad is aggravating, my surrealism sucks, am worried about jen, this is so unlike me in my opinion, my shoulder is hurting worse sitting like this ::moves::, my rooms a mess, this is getting long, im failing gym, i have mertz, i didnt get to finish the crucible, it isnt at blockbuster, blockbuster is closed, library is closed, my head is breaking, i want another jthm book, i dont have money, i need to babysit, i miss my girls, this is too long for complaints, i wanna go for a walk, its cold and not snowing, my head is murdering me, am still relaly thirsty, my dad is slamming cabinets and it hurts worse, gerbils wheel is squeaking, gerbil is still alive, i want orange juice, i have no license, am scared to drive, dad is confusing, my throat has now begun to itch, im still bored, i want to draw a tiger with a wine glass in its mouth for surrealism, i dont hve a picture to draw from, i really fucking hate my dad, i hate deals, i hate money, i hate tears, the tears are making my head throb, the washer is making it worse, my nose is running, my back now hurts cuz am hunched over so much, i cant think of any more good things, i am going to fail in school, my throat now hurts more, ive just yelled, my dad has come back three times, i dont have a lock on my door, i am not going to get into college, am not getting a job, am going to be Hester-ish wihtout the baby, ive changed too much, i hurt people very badly iwht no remorse, i dont help people i just pretend, i dont believe am strong like people say, and my head still hurts like fuck!
now heres good stuff...my gerbils alive, im not hungry, i have an 84 in lit, im doing homework, my room smells good and isnt cold. i actualy miss neil ::sigh::, music is on, i painted spongebob with jen, sort of watched nemo and had fun with a little girl by chasing her around, we came up with a plan to get mum out of the house, but ^(i forgot to call kate)^, i have pajamas, my hair looked good today, no ones here, i dont have to pee anymore, im getting my art project done, cerstan just came on, we finsihed spongebob, mr. carl sam plant is still alive, mia's really cute, i laughed at nemo, hul won best eyes, i got another idea for surrealism, i dont have bauer, dads gone to bed (hopefully for good-nevermind), its cold, i want to think of more good things but ^(i cant)^, i know how to do html, ive changed a load, i dont relaly regret things, i listen ^(but dont help)^, ive been told twice in the last two days that am strong, ^(too bad i didnt believe them)^, i just burped.
yup...if you care to ask about anything, then say so, otherwise gnight to all am going to sleep~its nine fifty three pm
Are you a purple cow?
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mudpiegrl
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2003 26 November :: 11.17am
:: Mood: headachy!
:: Music: ::whisper:: ::swish:: ::rustle:: ::tap::
am hungry...
you know, loads more people know about squee and such than we all think...its like the crazy underground comic... yup
bored? Dexterity Test
Are you a purple cow?
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sweetyas
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2003 26 November :: 12.42pm
:: Mood: anxious
Humans
Humans are weak (all the genetic diseases that we dotn have any control over) and evil (witchtrials) adn Stupid (witchtrials).
3 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow?
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mudpiegrl
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::
2003 26 November :: 7.37am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: :hummm:: ::sniff:: ::cough:: ::type, type, type::
language lab
yup hello...am in the vernon hills high school language lab...tis a joy to be looking up shit on norse mythology. o well...i like latin! yup. and spanish....jackei and i have to get together to finish that...::sigh:: at least am done with lit and history. um...i have loads of math to do but i left it in the room! arg...i took jens hmwk to the office cuz her knee hurts...um...last night...katherine if you want me to un-post this tell me. but yesterday charlie and i went out to find a present for katherine so that he could ask her out. yup twas adorable. so we ended up at build-a-bear and got her a bear wiht a pink shirt that we wrote "k, go out w/ me?" on the front and "::heart:: charlie" on the back...yup...and we drove to her house cuz he didnt want to go alone...and gave it to her! yup...then an hour followed of nervous, con-fuse-ed-ness...yes'm! but they solved it, cuz katherine only thought of him as a friend and obviously charlie didnt think of her that way...so yup! um...tmro is thanksgiving! woo...then saturday is my mums party so after school ama take jen some caribou coffee and then ama go shopping with my dad for party supplies...we already bought her a tv to screw with her brain and we are going to be like "we wish you'd let us have a party! we really wanted to but we didnt want to piss you off!" yup...twill work...wont suspect a thing. yup. la la la. i dont like the lady in here.. although shes okie right now...
la la la am not doing anything...i shud go...do norsey stuff...byedy
Are you a purple cow?
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mudpiegrl
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2003 24 November :: 6.16pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: chevelle, radio
BRRRR!!!
so this morning i woke everyone up by jumping around saying "its snowing its snowing its snowing!" that was the first thing i checked and it made my day...then it only got better wehn i walked outside of the hotel to hear the town bells, which ive always wanted to hear church bells in the morning, so it was beautiful to me. yea, too bad we dont have church bells around here. yup, i was in peoria for the IDEA confrence. it was loads of fun. i relaly liked the speakers and running around wiht sandy and jen was fun, and thankies sandy for our talk. yup... two of the speakers i really liked, one of which i thought was awesome, or amazing in sandys words. he made me cry because so much of it came so close to home that it was in the room next door. yup. and then on top of it, you know so many people who you can say have been effected by one of the things he said, and you can tell the person next to you, and they could relate...but he had nearly everyone, save about twenty people standing, saying that they knew soemone who had been affected by alcohol in that way. then there was this other guy, and he gave straight facts...and pictures...his speech was long but informative. yes...i liked them...the other lady was...eh...yea...
but i come home, and again my dad starts talking about my mums fucking party. i havent written much in here about it, but i hear about it every night. granted, hes excited and its getting close, but theres only so many times you can discuss the same thing, so i told him so and he wasnt happy about that...o well, ::tear tear:: then my mum came home...from elaines. "oo lets talk and cuddle and be best friends, something i normally cant tear myself away from my tv or anything else for" she tells me to tell her about it. so i do...well if you all know my mum, she is the epitome of an advocate for what idea was against... just in case youre clueless, idea stands for Illinois Drug Education Alliance. yup...so...i start telling her, and i go in order. well i start telling her abot uthe factual guy, and telling her info...well in the middle of it she gets up and walks away...in a very sullen, pissed off voice "i have to go make dinner" o joy...you arent pissed off atme at all...she replies im not i have to make dinner so wahteer....then dad comes up.."whatd you do to piss her off now?" i told him just what i told you, that she asked and i told. and hes like you know im no saint either and we all do things we shouldnt like my skydiving. am like whats your point? that its dangerous and could klll me...am like so? he was trying to tell me that his skydiving and go cart racing and shit is just as dangerous as drinking. i dont even knwo why he started this, its not like i was lecturing him or anything...and am like, no it isnt cuz you dont hurt me wehn you go skydiving. i dont want to hear his bullshit...am supposed to listen to him trying to reason the things that they dont want me to do? arrrrrrgggg it doesnt make sense to me...they dont understand my side of it. but oh well right...ill be gone in a few years, and my mumll most likely die before she gets a chance to see my kids at an age where they can realise who she is and miss her wehn she dies. it sounds mean, but its so true. am supposed to write my paper now...but i dont wnat to...i want to sleep its relaly cold in here. my fingertips are numb. sorry sandy and jen for annoying you guys on the bus...i wanted to talk so bad...i was hyper and wanted to do stuff and everyone wanted to sleep...ama go read...::sigh:: g'night.
Are you a purple cow?
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sweetyas
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2003 24 November :: 12.48am
:: Mood: awake
My life
I really havent actually posted in this journal in a really loooong time. yes five minutes. Nothing really changed, i have been fasting for a month or so. Its almsot over. its a good and bad thing. Eid is coming up on tuesday, u guys should get me presents!!! OH, i gotta henna. i told the girl i wanted flowers, what did i get? Hears, triangles, and swirley things. I even paid this year!!! work is ok, nothing new, i mean i havent done much and i honelty dont care. Oh, about viral, i dunno if i wrote about htis or not. But i think im over him when i hang out with him i sorta like, but hes got really really ugly feet, they are heideous!! Yea, um school is ok, nothing really except all my grades are going down. I mean u dont do ur h/w for a week and u fail, who knew who knew. ive been hanging out with noor alot, so i sorta have a best friend but not really. we talk all the tiem and such. and im becoming better friends with jackie and melanie, good thing. but i really havent talked to jorie or melissa in a LONG time. so u 2 if u read my journal, we shud hang out. Sunday school is a pain. those girls are so GRRR, its annoying, i love them all but i cant stand being in a class with them, they are so disrespectful. the poor teacher has a headache adn all they do is scream. those teachers volunteer their sudnays to help the girsl, adn they dont respect that, its probably cuz their parents r teachers too. Oh, if i complain about stuff alot and u get annoyed tell me and ill stop. i realized that i rant alot, like a lil kid, and thats not cool. So be like yasamin u compalin alot avout this and it annoys me. if doenst then keep ur mouth shut :) Adios amigas. Ramadan is almost over, icant believe ti. tis sad.
Are you a purple cow?
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sweetyas
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2003 24 November :: 12.37am
:: Mood: blah
Another survey
Life | Whats your name?: | Yasamin | How old are you?: | 16 | Whens your birthday?: | March 29th | How many siblings?: | 3 | What grade?: | Junior 11th | GPA?: | 3.4 | Pets?: | nope | What school do you go to?: | VHHS | Do you like this school?: | yes | Friends | Who is your best friend?: | no one really lots a good friends | How long have you been best friends?: | most of them 1-5 yrs. | How many close friends do you have?: | 5 | Which ones can you tell everything to?: | close friends r the ones i feel i can tell them everythign so itd be 5 | Who is the nicest?: | Khadijah | The funniest?: | Patrice | The prettiest?: | Noor (cuz shes so self consious) | The most pigheaded?: | MOI ( i dunno i dont think any ofme friends r ) | The tallest?: | Melissa | The shortest?: | patrice or ashley | The smartest?: | jessica | The most secretive?: | all of tehm in a sense | Which one of your friends would you like to see more of?: | susie | Less of?: | no one | How long have you known your best friend?: | 1-5 yrs for close friends | You | What color is your hair?: | black | Eyes?: | brown | Long or short hair?: | long | height?: | 5 feet 4 inches | Fav. food?: | rice | drink?: | milk | color?: | black | sport?: | batmiton | Book?: | DOnt let me die and Good earth | tv show?: | One tree hill | person?: | fav person? gotta say noor only cuz i talk to her alot, otherwise itd be a tie so ppl talk to me! | Who is your idol?: | no one, i sorta am not looking up towards any one right now | why?: | cuz ppl disappoint | Random | were you the one who took my spork?: | maybe | Ne mette pas ton chat dans le micro-oden: | out, il ne faut pas mettre le chat dans le micro-oden. | because you reall shouldn't: | oui |
xXBrokenLillyXx's .... surveyah brought to you by BZOINK!
Are you a purple cow?
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sweetyas
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::
2003 24 November :: 12.18am
:: Mood: cold
Survey
current clothing: | my purple pig pj's and my class of 01 shirt | current mood: | tired | current taste: | my mouth feels yucky, the after taste of milk | current hair: | ponytail (tis still wet) | current annoyance: | my brother making me read his research paper and asking me to do it for him | current smell: | my room? | current thing you ought to be doing: | my h/w yes tis 1100, i shud start | current jewelry: | nothing | current book: | just finished scarlet letter | current refreshment: | as in drink? then milk | current worry: | h/w | current crush: | no one, im sorta falling out of crush from someone | current favorite celebrity: | Ben Affleck (there was a show about him and so i watched, tis the only reason) | current longing: | sleep | current music: | nothing, but in a fwe minutes its going to be B96 | current wish: | that i dont have to go to school, and my paper and h/w would magically do themselves | current lyric in your head: | go shorty its ur b-day, some1 was singing it | current makeup (if you're a girl!): | eyeshadow (its not coming off) and mascara | current undergarments: | underwear and bra | current regret: | i ddint buy anything we i went shopping and am not diong my h/w | current desktop picture: | its a really cool pic, its a castle | current plans for tonight/weekend: | to do my h/w and sleep by one | current cuss word du jour: | female dog (me and this girl were saying it during sunday school, yea she was a fatherless female dog) | current disappointment: | myself | current amusement: | my disorganization | current IM/person you're talking to: | melanie | current love: | nobody, but im currently in love with milk ( been drinking alot of it, i might be addicted!) | current obsession: | my weight | current avoidance: | safa (not purposely but purposley) | current thing or things on your wall: | the posters for the shows ive done | current favorite book: | Dont let me die or The good earth ( no imagry in those books) | current favorite movie: | nothing really |
currents!@*&!*@&^& brought to you by BZOINK!
Are you a purple cow?
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mudpiegrl
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2003 22 November :: 5.34pm
:: Mood: enthralled
:: Music: radio commercials
yay sand!
sandy asked matt !!!! woo!...we are planning to go see cat and the hat tnt...but am going shopping for bday ness wiht dad for mum and then tmro ama go to idea...wiht sand and ill meet jen and jessica there woo! am not happy about my rooming...but oh well, sand and i'll party together, and jen and jessica too if they are in the same hotel. dads taking a shower now...but yea. um...ama drive....i drove loads today the stores are super packed..first we went to the bank which i am afraid of the same as parking spaces cuz i dont wanna hurt my car or curbs or any other cars....and then to best buy, where we returned this thing for comp and exchanged my cd player and bought speakers for my comP! woo! so now i can hear! and um...then we went to blockbuster to return movies and then to jo-ann to return stuff from my dress and get elastic for neils boxers for xmas...and then to walmart!
i got hats guys!
a white one
a gray one
a black one
well am leaving now! woo!
Are you a purple cow?
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