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2005 23 February :: 4.20pm
:: Mood: Eh
:: Music: Carly singing
"YOU ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING!!" "You just noticed that?"
Today was all right.
(Yeah, that's how it's spelled. Not "alright".)
So yeah... Today was okay. But, JT got mashed potatoes all over me at lunch... And I was about to spill milk all over him, but he grabbed my wrist and it spilled all over the table... Then, later, Taylor blew his nose in my hair. :( It made me sad. It was funny though, I yelled "You're fucking disgusting!", and Mrs. Potter came out, and she was like, "You just noticed that?" Haha. It was quite funny... Except for the fact that there's snot in my hair. (Still)
Well, that's all I've got for now. I'm on the phone with Aisha. Bye bye for now.
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2005 22 February :: 4.20pm
...Bit of a better mood.
I have no one left to go to formal with. Apparently, Rhianna is going with Aisha. Oh well. I might not even go. From the looks of things, not many of my friends are going...
Saturday, I go to Solo/Small Ensamble and I do believe I've got my solo back... I have to dress "cute" though. I don't know if I own "cute" clothes...
Anyways, I uh... love John.
Have a nice day, bitches.
(I think I'm bipolar. XD)
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2005 21 February :: 11.10pm
Lovely fucking day.
It's probably not a good idea to update now.
I'm so fucking hurt, pissed, and sad. I hate it. I'm about to cry. I hate being so fragile... I hate being liable to break at any moment.
Had nightmares last night. Much to my dismay, some turned out to be fucking premonitions. Then, in the car, mom accidentally spilled water all over me and my bag... I don't get this dance for Best Foot Forward, AND I missed practice for Solo/Small Ensamble... Johnson was in a bad mood. Livingstone was being a complete asswipe. I have a test tomorrow and I could not tell you one thing on it. Mr. Moore's class was good. Glasgow and Connors... Well, they were Glasgow and Connors. New seating chart with Connors. I sit next to Anna...
Came home to mom bitching about how I had to clean the kitchen.
John's back. (:
...The day just kept fucking getting better and better. Found out some wonderful news... Went to the UNCW concert with Keely, Aisha, and Matt... Only to be in a bad mood the whole time. Plus, Keely was ignoring me... I mean, I never get to see her anymore... and we rarely even talk... It just kind of hurts.
Whenever I try to hold something together, it all falls apart.
The end.
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2005 19 February :: 10.26pm
:: Mood: Meh.
:: Music: None. Speakers don't work. :(
"This autistic kid barks at me sometimes..."
Today was all right. I went to Bethany's house. (: I missed her a lot. It was good to see her, though... Even with all the awkward silences. Haha. Andrew is pretty cool, too.
I came home and talked to Aisha on the phone for a while, then went over to Ryan's. The Pistone's are in town, so I got to see them ^_^ Yay. But, I felt really out of place with Carly and her friends. I've become so distant with all of them. Even Cameron. He used to be one of my best friends, and he'd be over at my house all the time. Now, he got a girlfriend, and became closer friends with all of Carly's friends. It's sad. I hate losing friends... I don't know if I should go to anymore of Carly's friends' things... I always feel out of place now-a-days... I usually end up sitting somewhere by myself, not talking to anyone. It's become really pointless to even go, I guess.
I miss John so freaking much... When I was at Ryan's house... Mr. Brightside came on, and my heart just started racing. (That song makes me think of him, and it's his buddy alert on AIM...) It made me realize how much I really missed him. By the end of the song, I was nearly in tears. I love him so much...
I think that's a sufficient entry. I hope Aisha can come see me tomorrow. Voyager's concert tomorrow. I'm excited. And yes, I AM a loser.
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2005 18 February :: 7.41pm
Ahh today was pretty good.
We're doing Firefly Darkness for Solo/Small Ensamble... I wonder if I'll get my solo again?
"CARLOS!! THAT TREE IS NOT THE BATHROOM!"
Oh God, I love my class this year.. For the most part.
I'll update later... Going to Casey's... :) Playin' poker. Haha.
<333
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2005 17 February :: 9.54pm
I'm ready to disappear. Vacation seems far from here.
Thank God tomorrow Tamarraw (annoying Mrs. Denton accent) is Friday.
This week was actually pretty decent.
I think I'm sick, though... :(
Woo. End for now. I don't feel like updating.
Bitches.
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2005 16 February :: 4.28pm
Today was pretty good.
Random stuff. I hung out with Zach a lot today. He's cool.
At break we played some extreme hackey sack. XD Bret, Nick, Zach, Hunter, and I... God, people were looking at us like we were complete morons. XD Bret kept falling over and stuff.
The Holocaust is depressing, but whenever Mrs. Glasgow talks about it, it's sooo hard not to laugh, because all I can think about is South Park the movie! "Did I say death camps? I mean FUN camps!"
After the bell rang, I kicked Weiner. -_-; Ugh. Don't wanna get into it. It scared the shit out of me, though.
Taylor took my bag, so I was hanging on to the strap (it's a messanger bag.) ...I fell, and my butt hurts like Hell. He threw it. My cell phone was in it. Bleh.
I got to talk to John last night. =) I love him.
End.
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2005 15 February :: 7.15pm
I'm so badass. I stole shit, dogg. Haha. ;D
Today was all right.
I'm sleepy.
I love John.
I calmed down. I don't know why I was letting stuff get to me.
I'm glad Beffy Weffy is feeling better. :)
I BEAT WEINER IN GYM CLASS!! (Haha, Weiner is my friend. I named him Weiner Schnitzel because he's German.) It was fun.
Mr. Moore like freaked out today.
Megan asked what happened in a movie we were watching, so I said "they shoved a rifle up his butt." I really thought they did. Oh well.
I think I had a better day because I got to talk to John this morning. Haha. :D
I'ma go now. Eli's begging me to do my homework.
Shit, I haven't even done my own. Heh.
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2005 14 February :: 4.35pm
:: Mood: Depressed/Angry.
:: Music: HIM- You Are The One
Fuck it.
Fuck today. Fuck family. Fuck Valentine's Day.
Fuck all of it.
Today has sucked so fucking much. I'm about to cry. I hate it. I hate it so much.
Whenever it looks like anything's going to work for me, it all just screws up.
I hate feeling so alone. I hate feeling like I need to be surrounded by people all the time.
I hate being afraid of myself... I hate hating myself.
...I hate crying. It really makes me feel like a smaller person... It makes me feel... weak. I don't know why.
There are so many things I dislike about me...
I'm stupid, ugly and weak.
Self hatred really doesn't feel good... *sigh*
[/emo]
[edit: 6:02 pm] I calmed down a bit...
PS- I still want your memories.
Post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened... Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you... [/edit]
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2005 14 February :: 1.10am
:: Mood: Meh.
:: Music: None... Sadly.
"Yeah... I did a girl once... Yes I would like some more bread."
Stef's party. It was fun. I love Kersten, she's so awesome. It consisted of just... randomness. I miss Cameron. He never hangs out with me anymore. It makes me sad. Carly introduced him to all her friends, and now he never hangs out with us anymore; Just them. Even though he lives right up the fucking road. Oh well.
Well tomorrow... Or moreso, today is Valentine's Day. I hope it's good for you all.
*sigh* A month. It's been a month. I miss him. =[
Happy Birthday to: Stef and Bob... Even though neither of them read this.
Heh...
Please, don't let anyone change you...
Please, don't change yourself.
I hope you never fade... As you drip through my veins...
Post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened... Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you...
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2005 12 February :: 1.17pm
:: Mood: QEHIOG
:: Music: Carly singing.
Mr. Flippinshit
I swear I didn't steal anything... ;D
Hah, I just got my haircut. It pretty much looks the same.
I'm doing something crazy with it again by the end of the school year.
I think I'm going to dye it red... Supposedly John is getting blonde highlights? o_o Hmm...
Hanyways... I'll update later or something.
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2005 10 February :: 7.49pm
:: Mood: Dying :D
:: Music: Chronic Future- Time and Time Again
...I'm going to die!
Chorus, worked on lullabye. My practice tape is being dumb. :D
Gym- 5 words. "THE SUN'LL COME OUT TAMARROW!!" Haha, Michigan accent. (:
Science... Mrs. Denton said something about "Maybe if you took your hair out of your face you'd see better." I was like, "Maybe if you took your thumb out of your ass, people wouldn't hate you so much." I don't think she heard me, though.... Unfortunately.
Listened to Metallica with Mr. Moore. :D
Glasgow is a bitch.
Went to a ROTC thing...
Almost threw up on JT.
Went home.
I think I'm going to die. :D I'll get frostbite, then die.
That air in a can stuff... I turned it upside down and sprayed it in my face, accidentally. XD Then I read it, and it said if you breathed it directly it could be fatal, and you could get frostbite if it was upside down. :D
YAYAYAY!
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2005 9 February :: 6.30pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday- Set Phasers to Stun
So despite the fact that I woke up at like 2 this morning thinking I was going to be replaced, today was all right.
Worked on that gay dance in Chorus. -_-; I want to get cut, kind of... I don't know. Played 3-way dodgeball in gym. XD I was just standing there, and no one hit me until the end. It was kind of funny. FOUND THE MICROPHONE STAND FROM STAGE LEFT!! Holy God, good times. I miss stage crew. ;_;
I pretty much skipped Science. It was fun. I think I'll do it tomorrow, too. We still have a sub, and if you come in when she takes attendance, then leave afterwards, she doesn't notice. It's great. So I just walked out and took projects off the wall. Ha ha. They were like paper plates with stuff on them, so I took them down and I was throwing them like frisbees. :D It was great fun. I'm quite easily amused. Thankfully, I went in the room for a second, to fill out the memories thing for the yearbook. :D I think Ethan got suspended because he made a racial slur towards young Edna. "Why don't you just go back to Thailand?!"
Mr. Moore was in a pretty bad mood, but I "went to the bathroom", and saw Aisha and Marcus and people. (:
Mrs. Glasgow is still being a bitch. Oh well.
The group of people I normally sit with at lunch has dwindled down to Livingstone, JT and I... ): Carlos ditched us for the hot people, haha. We spent all of lunch throwing "turkey" (you never know with cafeteria food) at teh Livingstone. XD
Uh... Quiz in Language Arts... I think I did good.
Math is teh suck. Oh well. I think I'm doing better with it. I actually get this stuff, I just hate doing the work. =/ Oh well.
Jesse, Taylor, Joey, Zach and James are so funny.
Love for you...
Don't feel like you have to lie to me...
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2005 9 February :: 2.17am
:: Mood: Really sleepy.
:: Music: The Killers- Mr. Brightside
...Couldn't sleep.
God, please don't let me get replaced... I love him. I don't want him to find someone else...
Please, God... Oh please...
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2005 8 February :: 4.40pm
:: Mood: Sleepy...
:: Music: Metallica- One
I'm the REAL Slim Shady.
I think it's going to be a good week.
It's been good so far.
I got a 95 on my Social Studies test, and a 100 on my Math test. :D
Mrs. Glasgow really doesn't like me. I was really good for the subs in her class while she was gone, because I knew she was really sick... and she still bitched at me today. If I'm always going to get blamed for shit, then I might as well be an ass. It's more fun. -_-
There was a bright red condom on the sidewalk today. XD It made me laugh. We worked on Lullabye and I got my practice tape. :D Heh.
"What do you remember about the avalanche, ma'am?"
"...Uh... There was snow!"
=O
I loff teh wiggah.
I thnik teh asianses should spend Spring Break with me and teh famileh. Haha. That would be cool.
PS- Should I get a new song on here?
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