silentcriez
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2004 19 June :: 2.58pm
:: Mood: numb
:: Music: if it were up to me - rooney
x if it were up to me.. he would be mine x
dear amanda:
i just wanted to tell you how very beautiful and incredibly mature you looked when i saw you last week. Even though your writing had expressed a real maturity, and a pronounced verbal growth, it was not until I actually saw you that the dramatic change became so apparent.
You were taller, your hair was longer, but beyond height and normal physical growth, your eyes bestowed an air of young adulthood that was not present before. I also believe that a lot of growth has been attributed to this past year, and alot of the sadness and loss that you have suffered. I know that I told you how very sorry I was to have hurt you so and that not coming forward was the gravest of errors on my part, but I also hope that you remember how much I told youthat I loved you. How proud I am of your courage during academic trials. How much you have learned and your growing desire to give. Your commitment to friends and those around you. And your courage to work out problems that you are facing. Going back to your friends when they have betrayed you. Returning to the classroom where a low grade may have thwarted you. Taking a new route when teh old path or idea is no longer useful. Just your dedication to return to woodtrail and help young minds to enjoy their summer is a reflection of all that you give; and all that you love.
I know that your very own personality is at work hre; your own heart. But I can't help believe that I may. perhaps, have helped to instill in you a love of animals and children, and to have nourished your heart, long before I broke it.
I know that you will have good times and bad all along in your growing up years; as we all have. But I believe that you now possess the courage and the fortitude to make it back. To pick up your feet and walk the remaining steps up teh stairs of life.
I think that you are an incredible writer and that is why I have asked your teacher to consider letting you remain in Honors English next year. I know that Dad will meet with her. If not, next year you can maintain an A- grade for the first term and then be moved automatically back to the Honors.
So I hope that your finals went well and that you are thinking about the summer and rest to come. Remember, I would love to have you fly here and stay for a few weeks, with or without a friend. My heart and my door are always open.
I will always love you...
<3 Mom
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her letters never fail to make me cry..
6 .from you. |
.to me.
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krazykelc1
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2004 19 June :: 12.49pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: none
bah....
wow how quickly things can change. last night I thought this summer was going pretty good... then today everything got fucked up.
I hate guys who think they are better than everyone else when really hah.. they aren't shit. and there is no need to put names in here... whether or not their names were in here doesn't make a difference, cause their so gay and immature that they wouldn't believe for a second that I was talking about them. but ya I am, and you can deny it all you want if you read this... but you guys are IMMATURE - don't even try to call me and my friends something that YOU ARE.
and then they go and set standards for themselves that are WAY too high. please do yourselves and all of us a favor and stop thinking you can obtain things you and I know you will NEVER have. and when I say this I mean my friends too.. they are off limits to all of you unless they say otherwise... and I'm pretty sure they would agree with me when I say they aren't gonna stoop to your level... but hey its funny to watch you all wish on what you will never have :-)
hahaha and I havent even gotten started yet....
you go and try to say shit about guys who are WAY better then you will ever be. you told me dont hate on her cause shes beautiful... well fucking get over yourself, don't hate on him cause hes good looking.
krazykelc 1: lol im writing something in my journal i am sorry
BallerKidd21: fucker i beter be in it hoe
krazykelc 1: hahaha i will put u in dont worry..
hah since hes serge he's the only one who can call me hoe. as for the rest of you dont try n call me a hoe n say im easy when I can't even count all the times you tried to get with me and couldnt... haha fuck off.
.to me.
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silentcriez
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2004 18 June :: 7.20pm
i live my life in a blur, like a picture that you take too soon. im going to fast... caught up in the blinding flash.
the pictures always lie. the smile on my face is fake, a mask upon paper. written like a spell to fool all the truth.
i am unhappy and lonely.
they dont understand. they dont see. mayb they dont wish to. mayb i dont matter.
i want them to be happy. i dont care if im happy.
i want to look in the mirror and to have hallow eyes stare past me. i want my tears to run down my cheek and evaporate into great nothing, much like my self worth.
people brush past me in this endless crowd. a sea of nameless people. lives crossing paths for mayb only this moment, but then they are forgotten, lost in their own lives.
more important than anothers.
am i not important?
i stare at you, hoping i will see a glimps into your soul. get a hint at what your mind speaks that your mouth holds back.
i get nothing.
why?
let me kno whta you are thinking. i beg of you.
--jus4fun06
1 .from you. |
.to me.
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xonixieox
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2004 17 June :: 3.25pm
:: Mood: crying
ii hate my parents... i love how everytihng is my fault... the care breaking down... the $200 internet bill... the not paying the morgage on time...her not getting a raise... everything! ok so i called my mom at work to see if she ould bring me to work but then she just flipped on me... and when she came to get me 2 hours late she flipped again... saying all this shit.. and she wouldnt even fuckin call my boss to say i was going in late.. .she just yelled and then brought me home.. .well im crying really hard so i cant really type so im gunna go
NikkiE
2 .from you. |
.to me.
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silentcriez
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2004 16 June :: 10.22pm
i dont care about me if you dont care about me and i cant care about you when you gone on your won i cant look into your eyes when your looking away and i cant love you again.. i wont stop begging you to stay i wont care about me and you dotn care abotu me i will leave this place without somebody who cares i wont be anything if theres no1 to be something for and i wont love anyone.. your teh only one i love for...
1 .from you. |
.to me.
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krazykelc1
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2004 16 June :: 6.48pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: Angelina-Forever
Hello Summer...
Last Final tomorrow..
.....yesss
Court on July 26th for Me Emily & Meg..
thats gay, 5 days after my birthday
.to me.
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cocopuff
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2004 15 June :: 9.06pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: none cuz my fuckgin speakers are broken!!
la la la
Well as this year of school slowly comes to and end.. im cant wait for the fuckgin summer!!! im soo excited tommorow i ahve to take my english exam second thingy... and then thrusday i ahve to take geometry btu them im all done!! then school is fuckgin over im soo excited!!... it dotn really feel lkie summer tho, btu i think its cuz its benn soo damn cold for june.. but so far tghsi week has been beautiful and i hope it stays that way!!
its sad to think about it but this summer is gonan b soo different from last summer... like soo many things will b different.. but i alss dont think this summer is goann suck.. its just gonna b compleatly different and thats ok we can go with the flow lol... just think 79 days of beign compleatly free!!! im soo fuckin happy!! i cant wait to get thsi summer started....
well im off to... ummm something
.:Lizzy:.
2 .from you. |
.to me.
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xonixieox
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2004 14 June :: 8.26pm
| How to make a luckycharmz435 |
Ingredients:
5 parts anger
1 part arrogance
3 parts instinct |
Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little fitness if desired! |
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silentcriez
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2004 14 June :: 7.52pm
i close my eyes and i think of all the things that you mean to me, all of the things you say to me all of the emotions you shoot into my body when you hold me.. when you kiss me when you send your toxic venom into my paper thin veins. into my open heart. we splash together in this murky pond. mist raising off of chilled water. translusant beads reflecting on your skin, i touch you and i am cast into stillness. a painting of beauty and emotions. projecting lillies of whites and pinks atop lilly pands. a warm sun peeking over the horizon slowly drinting below the surface castig a dark shadow over the earth. the vacant body of all that is natural all that is pure all that is being destructed like the lining of this paper heart you so brutally beat every night. i could stare into your eyes forever looking blankly at the glowing blue shade that looks so warm to me, so deep so unable to describe. and they melt into me, oozing into every inch of me and consuming me totally. i could tell you i dont need you while i kiss your lips while my life lines run to you, like telephone wires stretched along vast feilds barrem and unpioneered. i look into your soul like uncharted maps, like unread pages of a dusty book, like a hidden treasure which so eagarly catches my attention. your venom begins wearing off now, and i see what you are.. what you say is no longer poetry and prose, regular english pours into my deaf ears, and although no longer intoxicated i linger off into a realm of undiscovered beauty once again. and i see you... and i see your soul...i could tell you all i could ever write, but you still would never know.. this language cannot express all that i feel.. never will i fear for unlived life... fore' i have lived because i love infinitely
my mind flickers back and forth like a broken television projecting pictures of unrealiztic perfections i see the world through blacks and whites a version so unkept and untrue.. you see me everywhere your like a fly upon amy wall 50 seconds into my reality. spinning helplessly around me i can see you falling down but all i can do is hope for the best
.to me.
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loserxdork
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2004 14 June :: 8.08pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: from autumn to ashes
i finally went to the mall.
i love you all <33
pictures when the digi gets fixed! :-P
29 .from you. |
.to me.
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silentcriez
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2004 13 June :: 9.59pm
Why is it everything's all loneliness with me? I guess sometimes I try
to hard, and sometimes you cause it, but it always carries on and on. "What
did you ever become?" you asked. I said, "I was told to be smiles and bright
eyed happiness, but sometimes I can't find anything to laugh at." "I don't
want to be here." you said. It seems like I almost always have that effect
on everyone. I say to myself, "You aren't the first one to think like me."
And I just want to be like everyone else. Why can't I be everything to
everyone else, or maybe just to you? Just once I would like to be something.
And I wouldn't mind if you'd like to be with me.
.to me.
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krazykelc1
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2004 13 June :: 8.18pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Angelina-Forever
Fucking Finals
this is our last week......
its kinda sad, I'm gonna miss everyone :-(
but I can't stand work and teachers anymore so I'm glad its summer... I need a break. hopefully this summer's good.. :-\ :-) and hopefully I will see the people I wanna see alot....
last summer was so good......
it was boring up until august, I dont even remember wat I did every day or if I just sat at home... all I remember is August- probly one of the best months I'll ever have... but I didn't realize how great it was while it lasted.
I want so bad for this summer to turn out like like summer did..
I miss him :'(
.to me.
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cocopuff
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2004 13 June :: 11.32am
If you LOVE them let them go.....
Well friday was the semi.... it was alot more fun then i thougth it would b... are table was the beat hahaha i dont even think neone eat cuz we were to buys being weirdos lol... dancing was fun to.. i love to dance and i hvaent been to a dance in soo long.. lol but the best part of the whole thing was getting mr. Galvin to dace with me and Nikkie!! hahaha weird but funny cuz u should have seen him try and dance... after the semi me Nikkie Katie and Kelc all came back to my house for the night lol and we attempted to watch scary movie 2 (like we do everytime kelc is here) lol but we all fell asleep liek 10 min intot the movie... lol soo friday was fun
well yesterday after kelc and nikkie left katie and i had notihg to do lol... so we both showered and then we sat on my floor in my room and played Battleship, then 2 of the fastest games of uno ever and the longest game of spit ever, hahaha and liek 12 games of jenga cuz we both kinda sucked at it ahahah! i havent played ne of thoes gamens in years lol and it was fun to re live my younger days lol....atfter are little gameing manda came over then we wnet tot he mall with brit and went t my fave place ever JOHNNY ROCKETS!!!! for food then we waliekd over to the movies to see Shrek 2!! it was such a good movie!! lol but i cried my eyes out the whole movie :-[ it was soo happy that it made me sad... i wish real life ended happly ever after, but i get the feelin it dont.. but hey what can u do?? all were here for is to die neway so i say live life how u want and have fun and b urself and that way ull die truly happy...
Segre is my hero!!! i love u!!!
im off to eat my Dunkin Donuts
<3 Lizzy
1 .from you. |
.to me.
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xonixieox
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2004 12 June :: 8.05pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: some nichelodeon comercial!
good weekend
just ogt home from my first day of work! it was awesome, but a little boring... ohhh well... money for fun! hell ya... i decided that on lizzys b-day we hafta go into boston becasue im gunna spend 20 or 25 buchs on her... you know what im getting for her... lol!
ok so semi was fucking awesome! i had soooooo much fucking fun! hell ya man! fucking me and lizzy taught mr galvin the boory drop, and then we grinded with him! it was the fucking funniest thing i have ever seen in my life!! awesome shit!! hehehhe then we slept over lizzys(me, lizzy, katie, and kelsey) and they all looked so beautiful for the semi... especially KATIE!! she looked so beautiful... she looked like an angel! ok well renee elliot wore the same dress as me... but its all good because come on... it obv. looked better on me lol! nick and moustafa are the funniest people ever... moustafa like spilled his drink 3 times on purpose and they were being so loud... we had the est table at the dance... and we had a good ol' time!! i love oyu girls!
I love you darien!! i love you sooooo much.. dont ever change!
<3 NikkiE
1 .from you. |
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